Chapter Text
It’s late when Kaeya steps out of his office. Exhaustion weighs heavily on his shoulders, as well as the aches and pains from his earlier efforts to clear out a Hilichurl camp that had settled a little too close to Springvale for the villagers’ comfort. It had been a small relief to return to his comfortable work chair after that- although the mountain of work he’d accumulated quickly brought back his frustration with the day.
All he wants now is enough alcohol to drown out his overactive mind and get a decent night’s rest for the next day. He’s not sure of the exact time, but he’s confident that whoever is manning the counter at Angel’s Share hasn’t yet finished their closing duties. Charles tends to be sympathetic to him and the hard work he does, but otherwise…
Kaeya has barely set foot into the establishment by the time he’s being chased out.
“The bar is closed. Go home.”
Diluc’s tone is cold, frustrated, as it always is when he’s addressing Kaeya. His scarlet eyes don’t even bother to lift from where he’s rubbing down the bartop with a rag in preparation for the next day. This isn’t unusual in any way; Diluc rarely interacts with him outside of the bar or shared business. Even those conversations tend to rely on Kaeya filling in the stretches of silence that Diluc leaves for him.
He’s rarely, if ever, met halfway. The effort, evidently, is not worth it to the bartender and part-time vigilante.
“Aha, well, I guess I’ll just have to take my drink to go, then?” Kaeya hums, ignoring the sharp, irritated glance he’s thrown as he slides over to the bar and leans casually against it. Well, he ignores it the best he can, anyhow. “I’d have come sooner, if not for all those reports piled up on poor Jean’s desk this afternoon. Someone has to help lighten her workload, no?”
“How charitable of you.” Diluc deadpans, still rubbing down the wood bartop and doing his best to avoid looking at Kaeya.
It’s insulting, really. Not that he should be surprised, though. Diluc has not even tried to hide his disdain for Kaeya, it’s just that usually his barbs are more direct and cutting. Being ignored and dismissed is… a different kind of sting.
Kaeya pushes past the uncomfortable weight settling in his chest. “She deserves a little break every now and again, don’t you agree? There are all these extra reports landing on her desk lately, as well. Something about our dear friend, the Darknight Hero, stirring up trouble and clearing out enemy camps before they can be properly investigated.” He shoots a pointed look at Diluc, then, and can’t help but let a lazy smirk curve his lips when the bartender finally stops moving.
“Your attempt at currying sympathy isn’t going as well as you think, and if you’re just looking for attention, you chose the wrong person to bother.” Diluc seethes, his jaw tight as he crosses his arms over his chest and glares at Kaeya. “The bar is closed. You can come back tomorrow and have Charles serve you, or you can try Cat’s Tail if your raging alcoholism simply cannot wait that long.”
“I’m not interested in either of those options.” Kaeya says, leaning his chin on his hand as he drapes further over the bar. He pulls a small bag of mora from his pocket and holds it up to the redhead, grinning wider. “Come on, just one bottle? Swear on my honor as a knight I’ll leave as soon as it’s in hand.” For once, he really does intend to leave Diluc alone as soon as he gets his supply. One bottle isn’t enough to get him drunk enough for the numbness he wants to achieve, but it’s better than nothing .
Diluc scoffs, and Kaeya’s smile falters a little at the clear contempt in his voice when he says, “I somehow doubt you have enough honor left to swear on.”
This dance is familiar. He pokes and prods at Diluc, trying to get something, anything , out of him, and Diluc responds with barbs and cuts that are meant only to hurt. It seems to be a defense mechanism, one that the redhead can’t seem to let go of. Although it only ever seems to come into play with Diluc’s enemies… and Kaeya.
He’d thought, when they agreed to “make amends'', that Diluc would eventually ease up on this behavior. That perhaps, someday, they’d actually be able to have conversations that went beyond civil , and may even be pleasant . Kaeya has tried, truly, to move on from their complicated past and has long since forgiven Diluc for the way he’d reacted when the truth of Kaeya’s existence came to light. He’d been well within his right to be angry, to be hurt, to lose his trust in the person he had once called “brother”, and Kaeya could not fault him for it. Yet now, despite Diluc’s claim that he would not let their history stand between them, the effort to actually move forward was proving every day to be more and more one-sided.
After all this time, Kaeya was tired. Truthfully, Diluc was the only peson who he could say he really cared about, and yet it was made abundantly clear, time and time again, that the feeling was not mutual. The weight of that knowledge was suffocating, and it stung every time he was snubbed by the person whose presence alone used to be Kaeya’s sole comfort.
The remnants of the Cavalry Captain’s smile fall away to nothing, and he sighs as he straightens up off the bar and meets Diluc’s angry gaze. A tense moment of silence passes between them, before Diluc huffs and moves his rag back to wipe over the place Kaeya had just been leaning.
“It was worth a shot, I guess.” Kaeya says, swallowing down the bitter taste at the back of his throat. His heart feels heavy, and the feeling deepens when Diluc rolls his eyes and jerks his head toward the door.
“Next time, heed the hours posted at the door.”
“Sure.” Kaeya says, trying for another small smile, but Diluc doesn’t even look up, and that… that’s really the last straw. “Next time.”
It’s time Kaeya moves on. This charade… he can’t keep it up anymore. He’s not needed here- in the bar, in the Ordo, in Mondstadt. He’s only really stuck around this long in the hope that he might, one day, have some semblance of happiness in his life again. But that can’t happen without… well. He doesn’t want to keep thinking about it.
Diluc doesn’t watch him go. Doesn’t acknowledge him leaving.
There will not be a next time.
Mondstadt is the quietest in the few hours just before the sunrise. The only few souls awake at this hour are patrol guards, and even the gentle and ever-present breeze has died down to barely a whisper. It’s the perfect time to slip away- unseen, unheard.
There is little in the pack Kaeya has thrown over his shoulder, but he’d never been one to collect many belongings to begin with. All he needs is a spare change of clothes, his personal intelligence journal, and enough mora to get him where he’s going. A few letters have been left atop the table in his apartment for when he’s inevitably looked for, but beyond that he makes no effort to explain himself to anyone. Mondstadt will be fine without him. They have Diluc, after all, and he’s always been just as good- if not better- at taking care of the city.
Slipping past the guard is easy, given that Kaeya knows where each person will be at which times. There is the small threat of being discovered by the town’s resident vigilante, but Kaeya moves swiftly and quietly and is beyond the high walls surrounding Mondstadt before Diluc could even think to make it to that side of town. He glides silently in the direction of the stables, and then he’s off on his horse in the direction of Liyue.
By the time the sun is peeking over the horizon, Kaeya is already long past the Dawn Winery. He’d had to travel a bit off the beaten path to avoid the place, but it’d been worth it to keep himself out of sight. And, if he were being honest with himself, he didn’t think he could bear to see it again and know it would be the last time.
Only once he’s well past the border into Liyue does he allow himself some rest. He tries not to ponder what’s happening in Mondstadt right now. Tries not to imagine how Jean would be panicking at the knowledge that he had been absent from work. Or whether or not they’ve found his letters yet. It no longer concerns him, and so instead he focuses on planning for what happens next.
He’s never been to Snezhnaya before, but it’s a safe bet that he’ll be well hidden there. There is little tourism in the country now, as most folks are too put off by the Fatui presence and the cold weather to brave a trip. His contact is already waiting for him in Liyue, and he will have guaranteed safe passage and a place to stay once he arrives. Finding work shouldn’t be particularly difficult, either, with the skillset he possesses. Still, he can’t help but feel hesitant about starting his new life there at seemingly the center of Teyvat’s current discord.
Well, at least it would certainly be the last place anyone would look for him. Especially Diluc . Not that Diluc would care enough to bother looking for him, anyhow.
He reaches Wangshu Inn just after nightfall. His horse is brought to the stable, given praise and affection for her hard work, and then left with the attendant to be fed and watered for the night. It will be difficult to part with his faithful steed, but she wouldn’t do well transitioning from the relatively mild weather of Mondstadt to the freezing cold of Snezhnaya. And, much as it pains him to admit, she’ll sell for a decent price in Liyue, and he needs the coin.
Verr Goldet seems surprised to see him, as he usually sends word in advance, but he just smiles and charms her confusion away with a winning smile and a few well-placed compliments. Nothing salacious, of course; she’s a respectable woman who has always seen right through him somehow. Besides, he’s not the type to intrude upon a happy marriage.
(Not that he never has, if it gains him useful information, but that’s neither here nor there.)
She squares him away with a room for the night, and does not inquire too deeply into his business. She does, however, arrange to have his meal brought to him in his room after he explains that he’s hoping for privacy and solitude. It’s no Wanmin, but Smiley Yanxiao is a decent enough cook, and the complimentary bottle of wine accompanying his meal is… well, it’s alcohol, anyway. It’ll dull the sorrows he doesn’t want to admit are there.
It’s not an unfamiliar thing for Kaeya to be alone with his thoughts. Not only was there rarely someone he wanted to share them with, but he also lacked the necessary trust required to open up to most everyone else. It is, however, an altogether new experience for Kaeya to deny his thoughts to himself. Wondering if anyone has gone out looking for him yet isn’t something he needs to dwell on. Worrying about the affairs of the town he’s leaving behind is useless, too.
Going back to Mondstadt is not an option. It’s better this way, for everyone. This move will be strategic for him, as he’ll be right in the center of chaos. Information regarding the Tsaritsa’s plans for Teyvat should be a simple matter to obtain. He’s not particularly keen on involving himself in all that, but it should be entertaining nonetheless.
It’s also a chance to distance himself from those he would inevitably betray when his birthright comes calling. He doesn’t need to make friends in Snezhnaya, so anyone who may get in his way will be inconsequential. The details on what’s going to happen when the time comes are unclear, but he can only assume that he will have no choice in what will be demanded of him. The further he is from Mondstadt and the people he does care about, the better.
And… Diluc will be happier without him around, too. Free to do his vigilante work undisturbed, free of the nuisance Kaeya makes of himself whenever he gets too drunk. Free of that last painful reminder of a life that he could never go back to.
Kaeya should have made a stop at the Dawn Winery. Should have snuck in and shattered that stupid fucking vase.
He spends too much time dwelling, that night, and too little time sleeping.
“Good morning, Mister Alberich,” Verr Goldet greets, smiling pleasantly at Kaeya as he rounds the balcony into the lobby. “I trust you slept well?”
Kaeya gives her a winning smile in return, and slides his room key over to her across the counter. “Of course,” He lies smoothly, “I knew I’d have a lovely face waiting for me in the morning. How could I not sleep well?"
"Flatterer." She accuses with a small smirk, taking back the key and tucking it away safely behind her desk. "I take it you won't be returning again, am I correct?" Her eyes flick to his bag, sharp and perceptive as ever. He can see that she’s keeping expression carefully schooled, professional as always despite the gleam of intuition in her gaze.
Seen right through, as always. It's a shame her calling is hospitality, she would have been a powerful informant, once upon a time. Ah, well, no time to regret things that never could have come to pass.
"I'd never leave, if it were up to me." He chuckles, shifting his bag a bit higher on his shoulder and grinning wider at her. "But it seems my path has changed course. Such is life, isn't it?"
She hums her assent, but there's a flicker of doubt and something akin to disapproval in her eye, and she does not comment on it further. "I wish you luck on your journey, then. I do hope your path winds back around to cross mine again, someday."
"Perhaps it may." He makes no promises; does not leave room for false hope of his return. "We'll have to leave it to fate, hmm?"
It’s still early enough in the day that dew clings to the grass when he sets out again. It’s a cool morning, but Liyue is not under the realm of the anemo archon, and there will be fewer pleasant breezes to soothe him once the sun is higher in the sky. The air already feels humid and sticky, and he knows it’ll be at least another full day until he reaches the harbor.
It doesn’t take long before he has to shed his coat and gloves. Logically, it shouldn’t be this much hotter in Liyue, but lack of breeze aside, the trees are much fewer and farther between. The shade is a blessing he always took for granted back home- no, not home, not anymore. But here, the sun beats down cruelly on both himself and his poor mare. She’s exhausted much earlier in the day than he anticipates, and it’s with a heavy sigh that he steers her to the shade of a tree by the riverside and dismounts to rest.
Despite the mugginess outside, Liyue is a beautiful country. The light of the sun seems to illuminate the golden leaves of the tree, and the distant mountains are a far sight prettier than the view Dragonspine offers. He can see that, too, but it’s far enough away now that it doesn’t seem nearly so imposing as it does from Mondstadt. Like Mondstadt, though, Liyue has its fair share of ruins from ancient wars past, and the flat plains he crosses now are littered with crumbled structures that he’s sure must have once been magnificent.
It’s almost mocking to him. If only his own history could have been so grand. If only he had not been on the losing side of all his personal battles.
He leaves behind those ghosts the moment his horse is recovered, and he doesn’t look back again.