For Lalage's Sake

by pikablob

Summary:

One night, on the long road to Londinium, two girls open their hearts.

Notes:

Recommended Song: Rimini (Ending Song)

Claudia was exhausted. Her feet hurt from walking, rubbed raw by her sandals, and her stomach panged with emptiness. Still, part of her wanted to keep going; she and Briana had to reach Londinium, to try and find their families. But the road to the city was long, and after a day of walking together she didn’t feel any closer than she had when they’d set out from the Ancient One’s roundhouse.

If anything, she felt worse. At least last night she’d had a roof over her head, even if it was just thatched, and warm stew to eat. Tonight she and Briana were camped by the roadside, under the stars, huddled by a fire the Celtic girl had built. Luna kept watch on the road for them, her hackles raised and her trusty eyes shining in the darkness, but the dog’s presence was small comfort.

Claudia felt a long way from civilisation now. She missed her home in the city, and her comfy bed, and her mother’s hugs and her father’s hair-ruffles and everything else she had lost. She desperately wanted to believe she’d have all that back soon, that everything would be alright, but she couldn’t bring herself to.

At least Briana knew her family were headed for Londinium; they were soldiers, part of the Celtic army marching on the city. All Claudia had to go on were hunches; her father had mentioned wanting to move to Londinium, and it was the closest town he could have taken her family to when the Celts attacked, but that didn’t guarantee anything.

And even if they had gone to the city, if she and Briana couldn’t catch them in time, then it would all be for naught. The Ancient One’s words rung in her mind: “Londinium will be destroyed when Celts and Romans meet!”

The more Claudia thought about that, the more her hope crumbled. She wanted to believe she would find her family, she really did, but horrible doubt was making that harder and harder. She curled up into herself, leaning back against an old log, her throat burning and her chest tightening painfully as her worries surged.

A familiar sensation, something soft and wet slapping her hand, pulled her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even realised she was crying, but through the blur of fresh tears she could see Luna licking her hand. The old dog was trying to comfort her, a concerned look on her shaggy face.

“Claudia?” The Roman girl looked up, past Luna; Briana stood over her, coppery hair alight with the glow of the campfire. There was familiar concern in her eyes, her mouth falling half-open. “Are you alright?”

“No,” Claudia admitted, wiping in vain at her eyes. Briana stepped over, quietly sitting down on the dirt beside her.

“Are you worrying about your family again?” she asked softly. Claudia couldn’t reply, the words lodging in her throat. “It’s alright to be afraid; I know how it feels,” Briana added softly; it was meant as a comfort, but it rang hollow against the doubts inside.

“It’s more than that,” Claudia finally found the words, something painful curling up in her gut. “You know your family was headed to Londinium; you know they’ll be there if they survived the fighting. I don’t!”

She sniffed loudly. “All I have is a hunch,” she admitted, fists clenching at her sides. “I don’t know if Mother and Father will be there, I don’t even know if they made it out, I can’t!” For a moment she was silent, staring into the firelight through her tears. It suddenly reminded her all too much of the forum, of all the fighting and the chaos she’d run from, through flame and smoke.

She curled up tighter. “What am I going to do if they didn’t make it?” she sniffed. “I-if we get to Londinium, and my family aren’t there, if they’re really…” she trailed off, the thought almost too painful to put into words, “gone. What will I do then?”

“You’ll stay with me.” Briana’s voice cut through her swirling emotions. She felt the Celtic girl’s hand close around her own, squeezing tightly. “Whatever happens, we’ll be friends, remember? If your family is dead, then you can always stay with mine.”

“But I’m a Roman,” Claudia protested; she wanted to believe her friend, she really did, but the seeds of doubt had become a thorny bush in her mind.

“And you’re my friend,” Briana repeated. There was a quaver in her voice; looking over, Claudia watched as a stray tear ran down her face.

Suddenly Claudia was acutely aware that she wasn’t the only one afraid. The Celtic girl might’ve been more certain, but not by much; she had lost her family too, and she was no older or braver than Claudia was; she was just better at hiding those fears.

Claudia uncurled. She unclenched her fists, intertwining her fingers with Briana’s and giving a gentle squeeze. Briana squeezed back, and Claudia felt some of the horrible feelings inside fade away.

“Of course I am,” she said softly, sniffing away her tears. She felt a growing warmth inside at that, the worst of her fears melting away. That horrible uncertainty still lingered, and she knew it would stay until they reached Londinium, but at least she had someone she could trust at her side.

“I’m glad we met,” she noted quietly, her free hand reaching up to her chest, fingers brushing the brooch Briana had pinned there that morning. She suddenly felt warm, like the heat of the fire had grown, her cheeks darkening. There was a new feeling in her chest too, the tightness replaced by a strange, fluttering feeling.

“Me too,” Briana replied, something wistful creeping into her voice. She squeezed Claudia’s hand again and the Roman girl let out a sigh, relief and comfort swallowing the last fears and doubts inside. Her gaze wandered away, past the flickering fire, over where Luna had bedded down, and out towards the road. She wondered how much further it was to Londinium, but she didn’t worry about it anymore.

Suddenly, she felt something new. It was a brief, soft, warm sensation on her cheek, almost like when Luna licked her. She turned back in surprise just in time to see Briana pulling back; her face was as red as her hair, and her eyes were wide, and suddenly Claudia understood. Her friend had just kissed her.

“I’m sorry,” Briana said quickly, her gaze turning down to the dirt between them. “I know I shouldn’t have, I just… I really like you, Claudia, and you make me feel all warm and fluttery inside and I couldn’t help myself.” She tried to pull her hand out of Claudia’s grasp, but the Roman girl held on; something twinged inside her at how scared Briana sounded. “Can we still be friends?”

“Briana, I…” for a moment she struggled for the tight words. She was blushing too, she realised, her whole face flushed and her heart stuttering in her chest. “I don’t mind,” she settled on. “I feel the same way.”

She couldn’t help smiling a little. Briana looked up, finally meeting her gaze again, and in her eyes, there was something beautiful. Claudia felt an impulse ignite in her chest, a sudden desire to return the gesture, so she gently leaned in and pressed a kiss to Briana’s forehead.

As she pulled away, Briana caught her, pulling on their held hands and closing the distance so their foreheads fell comfortably together. They didn’t need to say anything else; they both just stayed like that, two halves of one whole, basking in the shared warmth. Claudia’s worries seemed to fade away; she knew, no matter what happened, she didn’t have to face it alone.

“I guess we won’t be friends forever,” Briana laughed, a beautiful, happy sound rising from her heart, “because we’ll be something else instead.” Claudia laughed with her at that, taken in by the feeling in the air.

“Something better,” she agreed softly. Luna yapped quietly in agreement, watching them from beside the fire.

They stayed like that for a moment longer, just enjoying the moment, then separated. Together they fell comfortably against Claudia’s log. She leaned into the Celtic girl’s side, her head resting in the crook of her neck, in a nest of coppery hair. Their hands stayed together, Claudia’s thumb stroking her partner’s fingers.

Briana shifted her cloak with her free arm, throwing it up and over both of their shoulders, swaddling the pair in soft blue wool. The action bared the necklace that Claudia had given Briana, the metal glinting in the firelight, a shared token of affection that meant so much more now than it had at the time. With her free hand, the Roman girl reached up to touch the brooch she had gotten in exchange, feeling the warmth inside grow.

She felt a new impulse settle, an old habit rearing its head. For a moment she considered suppressing it, but she knew she could trust Briana, and she felt too comfortable to help herself anyway. So with a quiet breath she opened her mouth, and began to sing an old, familiar song.

“When I left Rome for Lalage’s sake, by the Legions’ Road to Rimini,” she began softly, feeling Briana shift against her, “she vowed her heart was mine to take, with myself and my shield to Rimini, ‘till the eagles flew from Rimini.”

“Woah,” Briana breathed; her eyes were wide, glinting in the firelight, and a blush dusted her cheeks again. “I didn’t know you could sing!”

Claudia flushed; she’d never really liked her singing voice, but somehow, when she felt really happy, a song would make its way out anyway. It was a habit she could never quite break. She reached up with her free hand, tucking a stray braid behind her ear.

“I can’t really,” she said quickly. “It’s just an old song Father taught me, from the legion, about how they all go marching for a woman called Lalage.” Briana snorted quietly, mirth rising in her eyes.

“Am I your ‘Lalage’, then?” she asked. Claudia couldn’t hide her own smile.

“No,” she explained softly, remembering the rest of the song, “you’re a lot nicer than she is. And besides, the legions lose Lalage; I won’t lose you.”

Briana didn’t reply in words. Instead she squeezed Claudia’s hand again, before turning her head to plant her second kiss of the evening to her partner’s cheek. Claudia burrowed deeper into her side in response, letting out a sigh of contentment.

“Teach me the rest of the song?” Briana asked, breaking the silence again. Claudia nodded, feeling warmth surge again; it was nice, having someone she could sing to, someone she could show her fears around, someone she could trust in a way she really hadn’t before.

She knew there was still a long journey ahead, and she still didn’t know if her family would be waiting for her at the end of it. But she was too content to be afraid, too at-home in the wilderness with this enemy-turned-friend-turned-something more to worry about getting back to civilisation. Besides, she supposed, having a marching song to sing would make tomorrow’s journey easier.

“And I’ve tramped Britain, and I’ve tramped Gaul,” she began again softly, “and the Pontic shores where the snowflakes fall, as white as the neck of Lalage; as cold as the heart of Lalage!” Beside her, Briana started humming, bringing gentle music to the tune. Her feet tapped along.

“And I’ve lost Britain, and I’ve lost Gaul, and I’ve lost Rome, and worst of all; I’ve lost Lalage.”