Chapter Text
Qui-Gon wanted a vacation. Honest to Force, at least monthly length vacation, preferably on some nice, warm planet with a lot of vibrant greenery. Maybe some animals to pet too. He could pretend that he didn’t adopt one of them, and he had absolutely no idea how it found its way on his ship. Obi-Wan would–
He felt tired. He didn’t know what Obi-Wan would say or do now. Usually, he pretended to grumble quietly about pathetic lifeforms to himself, because he didn’t want to hurt Qui-Gon’s feelings. It amused him since for all Obi-Wan’s irritated mumbling he liked animals and he got along with them better than Qui-Gon. But now things were different.
He knew, he knew, that Obi-Wan hadn’t lost his kindness, his soft, tender heart, but he guarded himself so strongly, it was hard to say what he really felt or think. It was unsettling, for a Padawan to shield themselves from their Master, as if said Master was the enemy? Even Xan– he hadn’t done it, he just snapped the bond as quickly as he could.
But Obi-Wan… he just had walls around his mind and around his heart, and apparently Qui-Gon wasn’t the one to see what’s behind them.
But the strange teenager that appeared out of nowhere a couple of days ago was.
Qui-Gon spent some time with them in the Halls of Healing, while the teenager – Cody – had been there. From what he had gathered, he had a chip in his brain – which was outrageous, he hadn’t heard before of such bestiality; arms, legs, yes, the worse he had heard of was neck, but brain? Who did that to him? – and even though the extraction had been fairly easy, Vokara wanted to keep an eye on them (them, because Obi-Wan hadn’t left his side for a second, so she let him stay even during nights, but only if she could check on him too) to make sure that everything was alright. So all things considered, Qui-Gon shouldn’t really be surprised that they came home together one evening, arms full of things from the Quartermaster, clearly intending for Cody to sleep there.
“Things haven’t changed much, I think. Less droid parts, more plants. Definitely more tea than caff and food in the cabinets.” He heard Obi-Wan’s light voice and he thought oh, it’s been a while since I heard it.
Cody didn’t say anything, but Qui-Gon was sure that he rolled his eyes. He stood up.
“Obi-Wan, is your friend going to stay with us permanently?” He asked and couldn’t help but notice his shoulders getting tense. Cody shifted his weight subtly and his eyes darted to him carefully, measuring, but defensive. He didn’t know what he was thinking, because Obi-Wan had his shields around him. Interesting.
“Yes.” His answer was short and Qui-Gon hadn’t expected him to elaborate.
“In your room?”
“Yes.” He repeated, face carefully blank, but something in his eyes dared him to challenge it. Qui-Gon was ashamed to say that he took the bait.
“Obi-Wan, you should know that you’re walking dangerously close to attachment.”
His Padawan’s spine tensed and he squared his shoulders in something that resembled a military pose. Cody did the same thing simultaneously.
“You don’t get to lecture me on attachment, Qui-Gon Jinn,” His voice was perfectly calm, but there was a note of something dangerous in there. He was once again reminded that his Padawan was more than he seemed to be. “Not with your attachment to Master Tahl, not with your attachment to Xanatos. I let everything and everyone go, and you have no idea how it feels. I know what attachment is, Master, but I’m tired of denying myself the simple comfort of companionship when I lacked it for so long. What’s more, I am perfectly aware how it could lead good people to do terrible things, I had witnessed it first handedly, and I know I won’t Fall just because I slept in the same bed with someone. So stop projecting your issues on me, I have enough of them on my own. Come, Cody. I’m tired.”
Qui-Gon had been, frankly speaking, stunned. Cody, even though he kept his face blank and unemotional during this rant, frowned. He did something weird with his free hand, some kind of signals, which made Obi-Wan shake his head, as he went to his room, not waiting for Qui-Gon to react.
“No, it’s fine. I just want to sleep.” He said and courteously opened the door and held it for Cody, who muttered something along that doesn’t make me feel reassured at all, sir, but he went quietly. The door closed behind them and Qui-Gon was left behind with his own thoughts.
He needed to meditate. Badly.
He quietly opened the door to Obi-Wan’s room, ignoring the voice at the back of his head, sounding very similar to Master Dooku’s, chiding him about frivolous use of the Force. He ignored it, as he always did - he had his hands full with tea, and it would be a travesty to drop it. And no, it wasn’t because he wanted to spy on two teenagers, although the thought had been tempting for a minute, but let’s be clear, Qui-Gon was shit at apologising. So he made Obi-Wan’s favourite tea for the boys, hoping that it would make them less… prickly.
He set the mugs on the desk, which was organised as always - datapads were in neat stocks on the one half, things they got from the Quartermaster stood in line on the other. It looked like they were used to sharing a small amount of space, and they could do it very effectively, but it also looked… sad without any personal touches. Obi-Wan wasn’t much of a collector, but he liked books of all sorts, and they always felt like him in the Force. Cody didn’t have any personal belongings in here and Qui-Gon was a bit upset. What in the Sith Hell had happened to these kids?
Qui-Gon felt eyes on his back, so he slowly turned. It was time to go anyway, he didn’t want to interrupt the boys, especially when Obi-Wan had been sleeping in his own bed for once. Warm, amber eyes had been watching his every movement warily. Obi-Wan was tucked under Cody’s head, and they had been wrapped so tightly in the blanket, that he could see only his Padawan’s auburn hair. Cody had one of his hands in it, threading slowly every once in a while, keeping him relaxed, and hopefully, deep asleep. Qui-Gon smiled softly at them and mouthed “tea”, pointing at two mugs he just brought. Cody nodded, and rolled his eyes a little. Ah. Another caff drinking heretic.
It wouldn’t take long for boys to wake properly. Obi-Wan went to the bathroom wordlessly. It wasn’t anything unusual, he wasn’t a talkative person in the mornings, much more after the Force incident. But Cody, on the other hand, approached him carefully.
“Thank you for the tea, sir,” He said, and it was quite nice to hear him calm and collected. He wasn’t afraid of himself any longer, but Qui-Gon had a feeling it won’t be easy to gain his trust either. “Obi-Wan appreciated it. And you don’t have to worry. We know our duty and responsibilities we have.” He added, a bit hesitant.
Qui-Gon sighed, putting his cup of tea down.
“I believe you. And I guess I should be thanking you. It was the first night he slept without nightmares for a long time, if he slept at all. He kept calling for you. Someone was hurting you, I assume since he never told me. I learnt to leave him alone after he almost broke my arm when I tried to wake him up. He avoided me for three days after.”
Cody’s eyes looked sad, older. Tired, just like Obi-Wan’s. He didn’t say anything, but he clenched his jaw, probably in guilt, Qui-Gon couldn’t tell. Obi-Wan’s shields held tight, but also the teenager’s body language was exceptionally guarded, in control. It was the control of an adult, trained one and tested through various trials. Obi-Wan was the same, these days.
“You went through a lot, didn’t you,” It wasn’t a question. “Will you tell me, one day?”
“Yes, we thought about it, and we’re aware we’ll have to share some things with you and the Council. But it’ll be on his terms, I’m sure. He always does hard things only when he’s sure nobody will get hurt beside him.” His face hadn’t changed much from the calm neutrality, but something in his voice had softened, “He’s a stubborn di’kut like that.”
“Why, such compliments you say, my dear. I haven’t earned those yet, I think,” Obi-Wan came to the kitchen, his hair wet, but his eyes looked much brighter. He didn’t look so tormented anymore, but there still was a cloak of sorrow and determination around him. Cody smiled with just the corner of his mouth. “Want some eggs?”
“Please. Sunny side up?”
“Of course,” There was a slight pause. “Master?”
“Oh no, thank you, I’m fine, I’ve already eaten.” Cody narrowed his eyes on him and suddenly Qui-Gon had a very uncomfortable feeling of being strongly judged. And then another one, but it was only something he felt in the Halls of Healing. Someone will start pestering him about his health.
“And now there’s two of them.” Cody said, totally deadpan, while Obi-Wan groaned.
“Cody, there’s no need to–” He started to protest, but he interrupted him quickly.
“Oh no, I’m gonna. I just need to redo my presentation. It’ll be glorious. You’re going to hear it again, since you clearly forgot everything we said to you back then. Self-care is important, and that includes food, cyare. ”
“Kote, please.” Obi-Wan’s voice hitted very interesting, albeit exasperated tone. Qui-Gon was mostly content that the attention was off him for now. He had a feeling that the boy could be a total terror if he wanted to be, and Obi-Wan certainly knew it.
“Don’t “Kote” me, Obi-Wan. You know better than that, some negotiator you are.”
The two of them started bantering over eggs, some were made for him, so he started to munch on them quietly, lost in thought.
He meditated a lot last night over some things Obi-Wan said, and others that he left unsaid. He was worried again, worried about what that meant when he said that he craved companionship. What happened to him? He wasn’t alone in the Temple, he wasn’t lonely. He wasn’t, right?
But it wasn’t even that. His Padawan had strong opinions on attachment, and frankly speaking, he was looking forward to seeing how it would unravel in the Council room, because the Force was clear: it wanted change. And it wanted change now. Furthermore, for some reason it chose Obi-Wan and Cody to make it so.
Qui-Gon, for one, wanted to see it. And right now he saw a soft look on Obi-Wan’s face when he watched Cody struggling with a slippery piece of egg. He sighed internally.
They were his boys now, weren’t they?
(Mace will ground them all so quickly, he felt it in his bones.)