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—-
Honggi’s chest was large for a man.
The first time Dochul noticed that, it was when Honggi brought him back to his shabby flat. Dochul was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans with a cap, Honggi, on the other hand, was wearing his best costume; a white vest, a dark pair of pants with fancy slings draping over his chest. When he first walked up to the other man, Honggi was like a model straight out of a fashion magazine.
He realized in a humorous way, that though he was dressing up like a country bumpkin: t-shirt and a cap, Honggi was like an urban snappy dresser, pulling every gazes to himself.
It didn't take a day for Dochul to know how badly this man seeks for attention. His body was perfect, building up with vigorous workout and strict diet. Honggi caught him watching when the first thing he did when they reached his room was throwing the slings and the pants away.
“Jealous?” He smirked.
Dochul’s wasn’t bad, he didn’t need refined abs to throw a punch in the ring so he just shrugged and settled down on the bed. With that body of his, no wonder why he chose to wear such revealing clothes.
“Beers?” Honggi didn’t push for his answer, that guy seemed to remember that Dochul was a boxer (though not a good one) afterall.
When Honggi turned to the small cabinet to pull out the cans, his vest flashed a side of his muscled chest to Dochul. From his view he could clearly see how large it actually was and his heartbeat faltered for a second.
“Aish… where are the snacks? I think I put it on somewhere.” Dochul quickly averted his eyes, it didn’t help that Honggi’s shoulder was wide as well.
The footsteps came back to the bed, Dochul tried to school his face, why did it feel like getting caught looking at porns at home.
“Here, have something to eat,” Despite his snobby face, Honggi did turn out to be a generous host. “You said you were a boxer?”
Are, but Dochul didn’t have a heart to correct it.
—-
The second time was when they were arguing.
Gambling, living, flirting, fighting, they both could argue over these topics endlessly. After months of living together, Dochul came to a conclusion that in any other circumstances, they couldn’t be friends at all. He was too optimistic for Honggi and the other man was too shameless for his liking. No wonder this guy had no friends around.
This time it was about their goals in life, Honggi had been laughing at his dream of winning a championship, saying that Dochul was thinking highly of his skill.
“I can knock you out cold in this street.” He tried to threaten that man in his cold, slurred voice.
Honggi nodded exasperatedly, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I had seen you pummeled a man bloodied before.”, he took another swig, “But you aren’t goin’ to make it though.”
It was strange enough for Dochul not to ram his fist straight into that smug smile, but still he waited, wanting to hear more of what the other had been thinking about him so far. He still could punch him anytime anyway.
“You still lack the quickness and the.. I don’t know, the strength…? That the other boxers have? Dochul-ah, you don’t use your head enough, man.”
“And you do?” It was his turn to snicker behind his glass, “You use your head enough?”
“Yah!” Honggi cried out, “I always use my head! My brain—”, he knocked his forehead with his forefinger, “is full of gears and levers calculating my thoughts in ev’ry freakin’ moment.”
Dochul nearly choked on his beer and he managed to at least spill only a half of it, “You dumbass, did it tell you how to win the lotto too?”
“At least it is more useful than yours.” Honggi made the tsk-tsk sound. “What are you good at huh? I, for once, had won a horse race! You didn’t even make it to the qualifier round!”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Dochul felt like a tiny string called patience snapped at the insult. Everything happened too sudden, he heard a sound of something breaking on the ground and someone crying in alarm. His vision blurred, and if it wasn’t for a hand that came to catch his wrist, Dochul might have fallen down from the bench too.
“You fucker…”, Honggi’s low voice whispered in disbelief.
When he came to his senses again, vision perfect clear and head cleared of cloud, he saw that he was bending over Honggi, his left hand clenched into a fist while his right was holding a part of Honggi’s white polo tight, ripped, torn beyond repair.
Honggi was making a small sound in his throat, his eyes angry and face beat red, his left hand was wrapping around his wrist.
Moving his gaze away from those eyes, he stopped at the bare skin behind the shirt instead. Dochul would later say that it was an accident, but he knew too well that he was, in fact, bound by the image of Honggi’s large chest with small dusty moles scattered around the milky white skin instead.
It wasn’t like he never saw Honggi’s breasts bare like this before, he had caught a glimpse of it too many times in their room already. It shouldn’t be different this time, but somehow the pink blush that spread from his cheeks down to his chest made his head empty. He never noticed how pretty it was.
“You bastard…” Honggi scowled, “my shirt, my shirt is ruined.”
Dochul came to his senses for the second time of the day and abruptly let Honggi break free from his holding. He turned his face away, still hearing the other moping over one of his best shirts. Typical of that guy, never said sorry first even when it was as clear as day that he was the one that started it all first.
He said to himself came morning that he was drunk, but Dochul remembered vaguely that he had given his orange hawaiin shirt to the sullen Honggi, (let that man interpreted it as his own will) and had worn only his undershirt the entire way back to their flat with no words exchanged between them.
—-
The third time was when Dochul was not drunk, but Honggi was.
They didn’t drink together that much now, his coach had been saying that he would need a much more strict routine than before in order to keep up with the other boxers in the boxing camp, and drinking was also omitted from his list.
He didn’t meet Honggi as often as before too, he had no idea how the other man was doing nowadays after the day Honggi left him at the hospital and ran off with all of their money. Not until a week ago that they finally talked, with Honggi gave him back a quarter of Dochul’s share and a sorry-not-sorry apology.
But Honggi wasn’t his topmost worry, now Dochul’s real enemy was only himself— to conquer your opponent, one had to conquer thyself before. So Dochul kept on practicing, left Honggi outside of the camp when he entered and took him with his heart when he left.
They met again in an alleyway when Dochul decided to take a detour from his usual route, he was having a bad day when that son of a bitch taunted him for his slouchness, they almost got into a fight again before the coach threw them to the different corners of the gym. For all his strict routine could provide, a little smoke was the only luxury Dochul could relinquish now.
He found Hongi in that alley, sitting on the wet bricks with his head lolled back on the dirty wall behind. Dochul thought he was dead and he dropped down to check on him.
“Huh…. Dochul-ah?” Honggi slurred out, drunk, this man was dead drunk, “Why are you here?”
“Why are you drunk?” Again, Dochul almost said that, since the last 2-3 times they had met Honggi had been nothing but a drunkard. “And why are you sleeping here?”
Honggi craned his neck to take a look on their surroundings, “Dunno…”, he replied, Honggi was always a merry drunk, boasting out loud about his grand dream while nagging at Dochul for being a fool, this time his voice was small, and afraid.
He ended up half carrying the other man back to his room, Mimi didn’t like it but a kind hearted woman she always was, she let Honggi crashed on their couch for a night and prepared Dochul’s clothes for him.
“Oppa,” she said from the door to their bedroom when everything was settled, “I have work tomorrow at 7, can you manage on your own?”
He assured her that he could, not wanting to bother her anymore. Mimi was working hard for them both and he was very mindful of that already. Dochul felt his energy had been wearing out too, he started with Honggi’s shoes first, he needed to get to bed soon.
“Uh…Dochul-ah,” Honggi called out his name after being so quiet since they reached the flat, “what are you doin’?”
“Making you ready for bed,” he mumbled, untying his shoelaces and pulling one of his polished leather shoes away, “get out of your shirts quickly, you are making my couch dirty.”
From the floor, he saw Honggi blink slowly at his words, he was about to repeat it when Honggi’s hands came up to his collar. Great, Dochul thought, because he had no intention to undress Honggi at all, he had learned how fidgetly Honggi could be with his body being touched. (He put up no objection when it was from a girl, this jerk.)
He took off both the shoes and the socks and left them scattered in front of the door, Mimi wouldn’t mind it since Dochul was the one that always had to tidy the room for them. He paused his hands over the belt and was about to ask if Honggi was okay with it before his eyes caught Honggi in the middle of unbuttoning his shirt.
“Dude, what are you doing?”
Honggi’s glazed eyes moved up to meet his, it was a very rare chance for Dochul to see his face unprotected like this. “Huh?” He asked, expression so sincere, so dumbfounded that Dochul couldn’t help but shudder at the innocence of it.
“The button, you miss the first one there,”
With his fingers searching for the last one of them, Honggi’s shirt was still held together with the very first button under his collar, this man must have some hatred with the undershirt because his dark shirt now formed a heart shape frame and showed his large chest right in front of Dochul’s eyes.
What was with this feeling of watching porns again…
“You missed this one,” he said quickly before moving up to unbutton it himself, eyes focusing only on the dark plastic button and the black fabric instead.
For the next steps of pulling clothes off him and putting Dochul’s bigger clothes on him, Dochul did manage it in a blink of an eye and went to lie next to Mimi with a picture of Honggi’s bare chest clung tightly on his mind.
—-
The fourth time was a short one.
Honggi had come to him at the boxing camp, apart from his pristine suits, his colorful t-shirt in hand was reekeded with a smell like alcohol and broth, Dochul didn’t ask where he got the smell from but direct him to the washroom. He was lucky to get here when the camp was about to close and was not as crowded as usual.
It was after that fateful night with Honggi crashing on their couch, he left the room after Mimi but before Dochul, leaving a note saying that he would return the borrowed clothes soon. (Which Dochul didn’t expect to see his worn out clothes again, there was a reason why he chose his fading t-shirt and one of his older pairs of sweatpants that night.)
Honggi came to the boxing camp and stayed there with him for the entire night, nagging at the odor of sweat and massage oil and still opted to sleep here even when Dochul showed him the exit door. Yet again, Honggi had proved to him that he was the best mood-lifter despite all the wrongdoings he had made. The upbeat song and that random dancing, Dochul realized he hadn’t laughed this loud like forever.
They said goodnight at 2 o’clock after midnight, he ended up giving Honggi one of his spare towel to cover his bare upper body, Honggi at first scowled at the makeshift blanket, (while his shirt and jacket were folding under his makeshift bed.), but took it anyway.
Dochul didn’t want the night to end.
The janitor came in the morning, the sun hadn’t risen and the sky was still dark with blusih color tinged on the horizon, Dochul stirred Honggi up from his sleep before the loud noise would wake him.
“Where are you going now?” He asked while the other was changing into his now clean t-shirt, the one he thought he must have seen it before. The colorful fabric went over his head, stuck at his shoulder before pulled down to cover his torso, in a split second before that purple/green/yellow/and orange or whatever color it was — was lowered to his chest, Dochul found himself watching intently at Honggi’s breasts again.
“I’m gonna go make some cash.” He smirked, and his voice shook Dochul out of his daze.
“Oh,” He said, trying to come up with something, “Not at the horse track this time?”
That earned him an annoyed huff which he didn’t really listen, Honggi berated him about his poor opinion on his ‘dear, faithful, loyal to death’ friend before waving a goodbye and headed out to the door. Dochul really hadn’t been listening, because — you can guess now, his mind was already occupied with the picture of Honggi’s ridiculous t-shirt closing over his beauti-, toned chest, again, and that picture had followed him long after that into the evening, even into the ring.
—-
The fifth time happened long after the last one; it was when they both had moved to a different city.
Different towns, different people, and Dochul could even say that he was a different man as well, damn it they both were different men.
Dochul had given up on boxing.
He now looked for a job, anything, be it a bouncer or a delivery man, Dochul would give it a try, anything to keep his mind away from his failed dream, his destroyed life goal.
Honggi was a different man, a quieter one, a less harsh one. Honggi never told him what happened the night he came to visit Dochul in the locker room but he was sure something definitely happened that made Honggi like this. His eyes had lost his mirth and slyness, he became sensitive to loud noise as well.
Another thing that was changed, was the complicated relationship between them.
Mimi had walked out of their lives that night, she left without saying anything to them. The empty room on the rooftop of that building was a solid proof when they came to check on her again, and it was there too when Honggi had suggested moving away with Dochul.
It had started with a small kiss, then a full one, but never went further from that.
“Tell me then…” Dochul had whispered to him, when their mouths were a little breadth apart from each other, breaths mingled in a fog out of coldness, “tell me where to touch you.”
Honggi didn’t answer him, but he pulled his hands to his small waist, here, he wrapped his fingers around his wrists, lower there.
He was utterly gone for Honggi since that night.
Tonight, Honggi came to their bed with his dark pants and a sling over his bare chest, his undershirt was nowhere in sight. He fidgeted with his chest, half-trying to cover it and half-forcing himself to show it to him. Dochul, on the other hand, couldn’t believe his eyes, Honggi’s large breasts had always been a marvel to him, and seeing it right before him, clothless, under the warm light of their small room, Dochul could only say that it was beautiful.
He looked up to catch Honggi’s eyes, why? He asked out of sheer curiosity, they both had passed the point of shyness in their own nudity, Honggi could have walked up to him without any piece of clothing.
The slings jolted from side to side, revealing the dusky nubs which started to harden under the temperature and arousal, Honggi turned away from him, under the warm light of the room Dochul still saw the blush spread from his ears to his neck, his eyes glisten with unshed tears.
He wouldn’t mention that for now, at least for tonight.
“I thought you would like this…”, he whispered, face still shying away, “I had seen you looking at it before…you thought it was funny.”
He shook his head, yes, he had thought it was funny, but what awed him most was tha Honggi had noticed him, had remembered him taking interest in his chest since the first time they had met. This sling never came out of his closet again until today, when Honggi decided to give himself to Dochul.
Dochul could only smile, they both really were different men from before, changed by lives and by each other. He held his hand out to take Honggi’s, bringing him down until he settled in Dochul’s clothed laps, his breasts lining up right at his face.
Grinning wide, the ex-boxer looked up to Honggi’s unsure face. “Thank you,” he said.
He knew he could list a whole list of reasons for that word, but right now, with Honggi on his laps and that beautiful chest right in front of him, Dochul thought he could leave that for Honggi to find the answer himself.