Chapter Text
The phrase 'ignore it and it will go away' did not apply to being chased by terrorists armed with rifles, yelling what were most likely obsceneties in a foreign language. What a shock, call the fucking press.
A shot whizzed past his ear and he ducked out of the way, narrowly avoiding having his brains blown out. This mission was peaceful on paper, 'an easy one,' assigned to them by a smiling Admiral Gardner; with too many medals and fake teeth, and not enough hair left.
'An established Human colony, you'll feel right at home, he'd said.
'It will be a piece of cake', he'd said.
'Nothing will happen to you down there', he'd said.
'They're just having minor diplomatic issues', he'd said.
'Everything will be fine', he'd said.
Well screw that balding Admiral to Hell and back, he was anything but fine. Unless fine meant being stuck in the crossfire between two enemy factions fighting for God knew what. Just another fucking wonderful day for the Enterprise.
Throwing himself into a curve around a corner, Tucker managed to stay on his feet by some miracle and reached behind him to pull Reed and the Vulcan to safety. A piece of fabric from the Ambassador's robes tore in his grip with a whine at the mistreatment.
Even amidst gunfire, enraged screams and explosions, the affront earned him a dark glare. A stonewall broken in several places provided them with cover, for now. They crouched onto the pale sand, catching their breath and sharing bewildered looks. Except for Soval, the bastard was barely winded.
"Why, I wonder, is it always us that get into this kind of mess?" A Southern drawl.
"I've been asking myself the same question ever since we left spacedock." Crisp English accent.
"Say, Ambassador, do Vulcans believe in karma?"
Soval looked away irritably, but actually appeared to be thinking the question over.
"Not as you describe, we have no gods to judge us once we depart from this world. But our Katra lives on."
"Cryptic as only a Vulcan can be." Tucker complained, drawing himself up to scan their surroundings before dropping back down.
Their merry little group was covered from head to toe with sand, sticking to uncomfortable places they would rather not mention. Tucker shook himself in an attempt to dislodge some of it only for Soval to halt him with an unforgiving grip on his shoulder, and more sand in his eyes and hair.
Whoops.
"This is your fault, Ambassador. You've brought this on us." Reed whined, sharing a conniving glance with the engineer before fixing 'Ambassador Pointy' with a serious stare.
"Excuse me?" The Vulcan sputtered, blinking dust out of his eyes and, he realised with disgust, spitting it out of his mouth. The grains cracked unpleasantly between his teeth. More gunfire rang out around them, impacting their cover and blowing heaps of sand away and into their face.
"Well it must be because of you, heartbreaker that you are, making grown men and women cry!" Tucker carried on, unperturbed by the chaos, one finger raised in reprimand. Reed nodded fervently, coughing behind his hand, once again meeting eyes with the other Human. Were they afflicted by something? Soval gaped at them, they were breathing strangely, almost as if they were suffocating.
Or containing their laughter.
His eyes narrowed of their own volition, severe grey eyebrows lowering to a frown.
"I see. I was not aware that I would have such an effect on the balance of the universe. Had I known, believe me, I would have refused to come with you. As was my intention in the first place." The Vulcan intoned grimly, watching with mounting ire the Humans lose control and giggle, of all things.
"Maybe we should challenge them to a sand castle building contest." Tucker suggested after his laughing had subsided.
Reed's head swiveled to stare at him in equal disbelief and amusement.
"Did they kick you in the head or something?"
"What? I'm serious. Nothing like a friendly competition to settle a conflict."
"Right, we'll go over there, and ask them nicely if they want to play in the sand with us. Brilliant." Malcolm turned around to ask for the Vulcan' support, silently begging him with his eyes. Soval pretended he didn't understand and cocked an eyebrow.
"Exactly!" Tucker gestured wildly with his hands, almost poking Soval in the eye. "That sounds like a good plan to me."
"If you wanna get killed."
"I never said it wouldn't be simple."
"I think you have a concussion."
"I think you're just not a fun guy."
"Marina from Communications would disagree."
"Well it's easy to say, she likes everyone."
"True, she's a nice gal."
Unfortunately for the Ambassador, the skies of Galfirr had no answer to provide, nor any apology to give as to why he was stuck on a hostile planet with two dunderheads.
"You got somethin' to add, Soval?"
Their landy party was stuck on a desert-like planet, hunted down by maniacs driven by the desire to kill them in the most gruesome way possible. The Enterprise would be out of range for a few more hours before a rescue could even be worth considering.
And his favourite cloak had a tear in it.
"No, I do not."
The Humans looked surprised. T'Pol would have bled them dry with scathing comments by now. Little did they know Soval was saving his remarks for a better time like a greedy banker counting his coins.
"You know, I don't think I say it enough but... you're a good guy." And with that heartfelt admission, Tucker slammed a friendly palm on the Vulcan's back, who almost doubled over and ate sand.
Maybe the Human thought they were going to die. And he would not condemn him for it.
Maybe he was trying to reassure Soval, who was used to working behind a desk and not running from armed terrorists.
All the same, the stiff reprimand never made it past his lips for the sentiment seemed genuine enough, Soval could tell that much by the feeling transmited through the Human' skin.
"Oh, sorry. I always forget, you guys don't like to be touched." Tucker winced, withdrawing his hand.
"It is quite alright." Only when he said it did Soval realise he actually meant it.
His... friends? -Yes, friends was the accurate term to be used- rewarded him with pleased, beaming smiles. The Vulcan's traits brightened in their own way of a secret smile the ship's crew had tried to elicit more and more these last few days. Soval allowed himself to feel gratified by their companionship.
Until he remembered where they were, and what awaited them.
His expression darkened again.
"In what scenario do we actually make it out of here alive?" Drawled Tucker. The fight had all but died away, leaving a deathly silence -perhaps a few bodies- and a ringing in their ears.
"You really want to know?" Malcolm shook himself and stood to examine their surroundings. Deserted.
"I do." Soval intercepted and watched with satisfaction Tucker deflate even before the words of his spectacular rant had time to finalise in his mind.
"Well, let's see. We've only got two phasers, because Mr. Pointy refused to take a weapon-"
"I am not a soldier, I am a diplomat-"
"And our communicators but they're useless until the Enterprise is ba-"
"You made use of the term 'Pointy', again, this derogatory habit is becoming-"
"Gentlemen! Please, focus." Soval wasn't sure but Commander Reed sounded close to tears.
Tucker barreled on. "And of course our shuttle that we had to abandon because those nutjobs started an all-out war-"
"You ripped my robe-"
Reed groaned, resisted the powerful urge to knock the bickering heads together and made do by rubbing his face wearily instead.
"Bloody hell, shut up already!"
Twin expressions of surprise were thrown his way.
"Calm down, man-"
"Indeed, I agree with the Commander-"
"Can we please-" Malcolm raised a hand to stall any further protests. "Please, focus. Come on."
"Look man, I just told you. We're stranded until the Enterprise flies back here."
"Wonderful. That's just wonderful." Grunted Malcolm, throwing his head back to glare at the clouds. Which were annoyingly beautiful and perfect, suspended above a spectacle of death and destruction.
"I hate that damn Admiral, Gardner. He smiles way too much." Growled Tucker, settling down on the ground, exerting his anger on the blameless grains of sand.
"I concur." The Vulcan grumbled, mentally bracing himself for a very challenging misadventure.
Just another -fucking- day for the Enterprise.