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JJ’s wedding. the one day Emily had been dreading. It was the day she’d have to watch JJ marry Will and the day where she had to officially say goodbye to the team so, two heartbreaking events in one day. It was going to be mentally draining but Emily knew that she had to spend one more day with the people who were like family to her. She couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to them all. Not again.
She picked out her dress, chose her makeup and curled her hair. She made sure to stay sober to be able to drive herself home. It also meant that she had a built-in escape if she needed it. Perhaps she could fake an emergency during the middle of the ceremony if it became too much for her to handle.
Still, she managed to make it through the wedding vows and the rest of the ceremony. Emily cried for a different reason to everyone else. While they cried over the sweet and sentimental vows JJ and Will had written. Emily cried over the fact that they were getting married in the first place. She felt awful but she knew she had to be at her best friend’s wedding.
Emily was tempted to leave before the reception started but she knew she had to say goodbye.
She grabbed herself a drink and perched on a stool at the end of the bar. It gave her a good view of the room and she could keep an eye on everyone else. The first person to approach her was JJ with a massive smile on her face. She sat down in the seat next to Emily and poured herself another glass of champagne. She offered Emily one too but the brunette politely declined.
Emily watched as JJ swayed to the music and sipped on her drink. She put it down on the bar and tilted her head back slightly, her neck exposed as her hair fell down her back. Turning to face Emily, JJ spoke. "Please don't leave...not again". JJ gripped Emily's wrist to stop her from standing up and running away. This was her wedding day and she couldn't let her best friend leave.
"I have to JJ, I'm sorry". Emily met JJ's gaze to find her friend with tears in her eyes. It broke her heart a little but Emily had already made the decision. She was going to take the job in London and leave.
"You don't. You could stay, keep the team together". Emily's heart constricted in her chest and she had to stop herself from crying. While JJ was right, so was Emily. This was the best thing for her to do.
"I have to JJ. I can't stay here any longer. It hurts me everyday. Being here makes me unhappy. I'm reminded of every day that I missed, the pain I caused everyone to experience and I struggle to live the life I lived before. Jumping back into my job was the hardest thing I've ever done. I forgot how mentally draining it was, and how hard it is to compartmentalise all of my experiences. I'm sorry, but I have to leave, for my own sanity". JJ let go of Emily's wrist and stepped back. The tears in her eyes made Emily want to stay but she knew she was making a good decision.
"Fine. Whatever". JJ grabbed her glass and walked off and leaned on her tiptoes while she kissed her husband's cheek. Emily watched them, her head tilted to the side slightly. She watched them for a moment and Hotch chose that moment to come up to her, with one of his eyebrows raised.
"You're still going to leave?" Emily turned her attention back to JJ and Will, rather than looking at her boss. She watched them spin each other around and then settle into a comfortable embrace, JJ’s chin resting on his shoulder and their linked hands on the opposite side of her chest.
"Yeah. I think I am. It's too hard being here. I hate it". Hotch observed Emily for a few moments, taking note of how Emily smiled whenever JJ did. He was never quite sure how they were oblivious to their feelings and it was painful for him to watch.
"You're in love with her". Emily froze and she slowly turned to face Hotch. He was smiling fondly at her. "I recognised the glint in your eyes. It's the same way Haley looked at me, and it's the same way that JJ looks at you". Emily shook her head, smiling.
"No way. She's in love with Will. Look at her". They both watched JJ and Will dance for a moment and then Emily stepped back. "I have to go. I've got to pack by bags. I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way we all hoped. I'll say goodbye to everyone and I'll see you all soon". He gripped her upper arms as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.
"I'm going to miss you. Keep in touch Prentiss". She wiped a tear away and laughed at the situation.
"Thanks Hotch. I'll miss you too". He squeezed her arms and then let her go to make her way around everyone else. Instead, she pulled him onto the dance floor to sway with him for a moment, reminding him of everything good about himself and how he was the best unit chief. The plan was for Emily to come back in 3 years but realistically they both knew that wasn't going to happen and she wasn't sure if she'd be seeing him again. If everything went well, she'd stay in London forever and live the life she'd always wanted.
Spencer was the second person Emily danced with. In some ways she knew that their relationship was still slightly strained. She'd hurt him when she had to go undercover and she was still hesitant to leave the BAU because she'd be leaving Spencer, again. So many people had hurt him in the past and she didn’t want to be another name on that list, but it was also part of the reason she needed to leave. She needed to give Spencer time to heal and he couldn't do that when she was right in front of him. She spun him around in circles, laughing at the silliness of it. She didn't want either of them to cry and make the goodbye any harder.
When Spencer spotted Morgan, he handed Emily over, blowing a kiss to her which made the three of them laugh. Derek wrapped his hands around Emily's waist and dipped her back, both of them laughing when he struggled to pull her back up. Clearly he wasn't as strong as he liked to believe. It gave Emily the opportunity to tease him and lessen the hurt of the goodbye. They didn't need to say anything else as her head rested on his shoulder and they swayed to the music. With a kiss to her check, Derek handed Emily over the Rossi.
She danced with him, both of them making jokes in Italian to stop the sweet moment becoming too sad. She kew that her relationship with Rossi meant more to her than she could have ever imagined and losing him was almost like losing a parent. When he joined the BAU, he became the father she'd always imagined having and even though she knew it was less than a 10 hour flight each way, it was painful knowing he was so far away and that he wasn’t around the corner with her favourite bottle of wine after a terrible day.
Standing out of the way, she watched everyone else and took in the moment where they could all be together without a case interrupting them and they could celebrate a happy occasion. They all looked so happy and Emily knew that she was making the right decision, even if it hurt her a little. JJ and Will looked so happy together yet whenever JJ made eye contact with Emily, the smile on her face would drop almost as if she wasn't sure she'd made the right decision to marry her husband. The fond smile on Emily's face made JJ question everything but Will's soft hand on her lower back pulled her out of the thoughts and she told herself she was overthinking everything.
Penelope wrapped her arm around Emily's waist and Emily turned around to hug her friend. Tears streamed down both of their faces as they held each other close. Both of the blonde's hands ran up and down Emily's back in an attempt to soothe her yet it made the brunette cry more at the soft action.
"God, I'm going to miss you Pen". Emily's voice came out as a whisper, her attempt to stop herself from crying again. "Thank you. I love you". She lifted her hands to wipe her own tears and then she stepped back to wipe Penelope's. She kept her hands on Penelope’s face for a little while longer just to let her friend know that she was there.
"I'm going to miss you too". Emily grabbed Penelope's hand and squeezed it tightly. They watched everyone for a moment before Penelope spoke again. "Are you going to say goodbye to JJ?"
Emily took a deep breath and pulled her hand away. "I can't do that. I'll cry and I don’t think I’m prepared to do that again". Emily's arms wrapped around her waist, almost like she was conscious of how she wasn't enough for JJ.
"I'll come with you. It’ll be all of the girls together and then it won't be so bad. You won't have to say goodbye to just JJ. I know Em and it’s okay. She’s an easy person to fall in love with". Emily nodded and held her hand out for Penelope to grab. They made their way over the where JJ was standing with a glass of champagne and each grabbed one of her hands.
"Thank you both for coming". JJ kissed both of their cheeks and rested her head on Emily's shoulder. They danced together for a while, neither JJ or Penelope wanting to let Emily go. If they let her leave the wedding, she was going to leave the country.
Emily took a glance at the time and winced when she realised that she should have left over an hour ago. Now she had to rush to get ready to leave America but she couldn’t really complain. She’d been given the chance to spend more time with her best friends and she’d taken it.
“I’m sorry ladies, I have to leave”. She kissed both of their cheeks and made her way outside to her car. With one last look at her friends, Emily got into her car. She was planning on driving home but she couldn’t get any further than halfway down Rossi’s driveway before she broke down in tears and started to sob. She turned the car engine off and let her tears come. She wasn’t even sure why she was crying. Taking a deep breath, Emily wiped her eyes and drove home. She put her feelings in a box, just like the rest of her things and went to bed. Her emotions didn’t emerge again until she was in her new apartment just on the outskirts of London and she was sorting through the box of all of her memories. Pulling out a photo album, Emily flicked through the pages and found all of her former colleagues smiling back at her and it brought tears to her eyes. Emily concluded that she was fine. It was best to keep her feelings to herself anyway, just like always.
What Emily didn’t know was that over 4,000 miles away JJ was crying in the shower. She’d lost her best friend again and she didn’t know when she’d be seeing her next. The concept was heartbreaking for JJ and whenever Will asked why she was crying, she put it down to a bad day at work. He didn’t need to know that JJ had fallen in love with someone else. It would break his heart, as well as JJ’s and that was the last thing any of them wanted. All JJ needed to realise was that she was in love with Emily and it would solve all of her issues. Yet, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.