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Everyone said it was understandable, a simple mistake that could have happened to anyone. Everyone that is except Hermione. As my family reacted to the news with surprise and came to terms with the fact that we had a new member of the family, Hermione continued to give me a look that screamed I know what you've done! And that's right- she would be the one person to know.
Although our relationship had been brief and mostly filled with arguments Hermione and I never had any problems in the bedroom. Our sex life had been filled with passion and the type of experimentation that only the young indulge in. Even after calling it quits a year into dating, Hermione and I were frequent bed partners. We spent time indulging each other's fantasies when we were between relationships for years, giving one another what our partners failed to provide. After five years of such a deal I got too comfortable, too relaxed, and revealed my greatest fantasy. Hermione abruptly ended things after that, stating that she was worried we might ruin our friendship and wanted to establish clear boundaries. If she hadn't broken things off with me I would never have met Pansy that night in the Three Broomsticks.
I'd only gone into Hogsmeade out of nostalgia, having finished a case and eager to toast to my success. Harry had gone straight home to Ginny and I was wistful for the good old days, when my best mate had bigger things to worry about than how many soiled nappies his newborn had produced that day. I was on my second butterbeer when she walked in dressed to kill. For some reason she was wearing a long black muggle trench coat and a fedora, I assume with the vain hope of blending in. The hat failed to hide the angular cut to her glossy black hair or her wide brown eyes. I watched her walk to the back of the room, sitting in the shadows not even pretending to drink. I settled down in my seat, preparing myself to watch Pansy and see what she was up to as she clearly had an agenda. As Rosemerta refilled my glass for a second time she suddenly whispered "It might be a good idea for you to go over there. I've not managed to have an auror around when she's come here selling her wares". When I frowned at Rosemerta in confusion she simply sighed and stated plainly "The girl is a prostitute- she comes around every now and again looking for a man to buy her for the night".
I choked on my drink so loudly that most of the bar seemed to be looking my way.When I got myself under control I noticed Pansy slipping out the door, using the distraction as a cover. I dropped enough gold on the table to cover my drinks and quickly made my way outside. She was casually making her way to the apparation point, appearing to be in no hurry. As I shouted "Oi!" and quickly ran after Pansy she sped up, abandoning all pretense that she was avoiding arrest. I caught up to her a foot away from the apparation point, grabbing her arm to stop her from continuing. Parkinson turned to face me, nose immediately in the air and a scathing retort obviously on the tip of her tongue. Her face froze, however, when the next words I said to her were "How much?".
I learned that night that money really does buy you whatever you want. While Hermione had been hesitant to indulge in my kink, Pansy was more than willing for an exorbitant fee. Pansy claimed the fee was a safeguard but I suspected that she used it to buy a strong dose of contraceptive potion to prepare for our encounters. Despite what people want to believe our family isn't more fertile than others- it just so happens my father and brothers have similar inclinations as myself. Knowing that at the end of every session that your partner may be pregnant from your seed was a huge turn on for me, especially when I know they're ovulating.
Hermione always thought it was weird when I tracked her menstruation but assumed it was due to an aversion to her period. She never figured out that we had sex more frequently when she was ovulating- although her insistence that I use condoms negated my efforts. Pansy never mentioned if it was off-putting although she gave me a look similar to the ones she used to when we were in school. It only took her 6 months to understand what I was doing and I only knew because in an effort to further fuel my fantasies she begged me to impregnate her. I was grateful to be off that weekend as we didn't even leave my flat, alternating food with sex and sleeping when we were too exhausted to continue. I was sure I'd caught the snitch that weekend but it took two more years for Pansy to show up at my flat with a positive pregnancy test. The sex we had that night was the best I'd ever had in my entire life.
So maybe Hermione is right to judge and maybe Rose wasn't exactly an accident per se. But as far as anyone else knows she was a blessing in disguise and I plan on sticking to that narrative.