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Roman couldn’t even remember what Logan had done to set him off. All he knew was that he was annoyed, a small spark of anger alight in his chest, and he was pacing their apartment, ranting about how ridiculous his boyfriend was.
He wasn’t angry yet, it took a lot to get him truly angry, but annoyance and frustration were easy to pile up, and he had a habit of blowing little things out of proportion at times. Logan knew he tended to be dramatic, he teased him about it constantly, and his boyfriend was apparently content to sit quietly while Roman let everything out.
It had been an exceptionally long and stressful day, he and Logan bickering all the way back home until Roman decided his boyfriend’s nitpicking and exasperated tone was just a little too much for him to handle, pacing the length of the living room and letting his voice take over the entire room.
“Could you just give me a break? I can’t believe you sometimes!” Roman flung his arms out for emphasis, whirling around to face the other man on the couch. “You’re so—”
He stopped in his tracks, words dying in his throat when Logan flinched. Hard.
His boyfriend’s shoulders hunched, Logan curling in on himself as his hands flew up to protect his face, trembling as he watched Roman with wide eyes.
Roman lowered his own hands, frozen. “Lo?”
“I’m sorry,” Logan said instantly, like he’d done something wrong. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to start a fight, I’m so sorry.”
“No, I…” Roman trailed off, realization dawning and guilt settling in his gut. “I’m overreacting. This is- this got blown way out of proportion.”
Logan slowly stopped blocking his face, but he didn’t look any less on edge as he wrapped his arms around himself, hunched over on the couch like he was waiting for a blow.
It was the exact same position he’d been in when Roman had found out what Logan’s ex had been doing to him.
“You’re mad.”
“I’m...annoyed,” Roman admitted, choosing his words carefully. “But I’m not mad.”
Logan just held himself tighter, terrified. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Roman said. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. We can just...talk about it? If that’s alright.”
Logan hesitated, warily glancing at Roman like this was all some kind of elaborate trap. “We...we can do whatever you want.”
“I’m sorry, Lo.” Roman’s shoulders sagged, recognizing his boyfriend’s words for what they were- a desperate attempt to appease Roman and calm him down. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Logan said, sounding a bit confused. “I started a fight.”
“An argument,” Roman corrected. “We’re just arguing.”
Logan blinked, brow furrowing like Roman was speaking a different language. “That’s...the same thing, isn’t it?”
“Technically, yes.” Roman ran a hand through his hair, moving slowly to keep from frightening Logan again. “But I’m not...mad at you. It was just a silly argument.”
“Oh,” Logan said, still quiet and scared. “I don’t...understand why you’re not angry.”
“This isn’t something to be angry over.”
“Yes it is,” Logan argued, then froze like he would be punished for it. “I...I was being annoying and inconsiderate and I was talking too much and now you’re...you’re…”
“I was a little upset,” Roman said. “And that’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“You could though,” Logan pointed out. “You should, logically. We were arguing.”
“I won’t,” Roman said, and his heart broke when Logan only started trembling more, choking on a sob as tears gathered in his eyes. “Oh, Logan I’m so sorry. Please don't cry, darling. It’s alright.”
He took a careful step forward, stopping immediately when Logan flinched again. His eyes were wide and cloudy when he looked at Roman, plagued with hazy fear.
“I…” Roman didn’t know what to do. Logan had been doing so much better but...but they hadn’t fought since getting together a couple months ago. “I promise I won’t hurt you Logan, I would never.”
“But you were upset,” Logan insisted. “And we’re dating now so I...I wasn’t supposed to...with him, I wasn’t supposed to argue—”
“I know, Lo.”
“We’re alone,” Logan said, like he was trying to rationalize the need for violence in a relationship. “Nobody’s around and this is your apartment and you’re...you were angry.”
Roman’s heart sank when the tears started falling, streaming down Logan’s cheeks as he hastily tried to wipe them away. Roman took another careful step towards his boyfriend, lowering himself to a crouch.
“I know,” he said. “But I won’t hurt you. I won’t ever hurt you, Logan.”
Logan swallowed, still looking like he was trying to figure out if this was a trick. “Even if you’re mad?”
“Especially if I’m mad.”
“Oh.” Logan wiped his eyes again with shaking hands. “What are you going to do if we fight, then?”
“We’ll work it out,” Roman promised. “I’ll talk it through with you like a mature adult. We’ll communicate and work together. I would never even think about hitting you.”
“Oh,” Logan said again. “I’m...so sorry.”
“It’s alright,” Roman assured. “I promise it’s ok.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t have- I should never have assumed, I’m just...I am used to arguments always being violent.”
Roman’s heart clenched, and not for the first time he wanted to get up and drive right over to Logan’s old house and give his ex-boyfriend a taste of his own medicine. He was bigger than that asshole, and filled with enough righteous rage for a lifetime.
Those thoughts hadn’t gone away since he’d first seen the bruises littering Logan’s skin, months ago now.
“Well,” he said, pushing his anger down. That wasn’t what Logan wanted or needed right now. “That’s something we can work on together.”
Logan still had his arms wrapped tightly around himself, and Roman had known him long enough to know when Logan was trying to work up the courage to ask for something.
He’d always had a hard time voicing what he needed. It had only gotten worse after the two years spent with his ex.
“Are you still annoyed with me?” he asked. “I understand if you are.”
“I’m not,” Roman said. “We’re ok, I’m right here. Can you tell me what you need?”
Logan didn’t speak for a moment, refusing to meet Roman’s eyes as he desperately choked back more rising sobs, and for a moment Roman was worried his boyfriend was still scared of him. He didn’t know how to fix this if he was.
“I just…” he trailed off, taking in a trembling breath before starting again. “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”
Roman didn’t waste any time after that, his own heart breaking at the terrified vulnerability in Logan’s voice. He still moved slowly, careful not to spook Logan again, sitting on the couch beside his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around him.
He pulled Logan to his chest, holding him tight as he buried his face in Roman’s chest and sobbed, the tension leaking from his shoulders.
“It’s ok,” Roman whispered, one hand rubbing Logan’s back, the other in his hair. Logan didn’t stop shaking, clutching desperately at Roman’s shirt as he broke down. “We’re ok. You’re safe, Lo. I promise you’re safe now.”
“Thank you,” Logan said, muffled by sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m—”
“It’s alright, darling.” Roman adjusted his hold, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Logan’s hair. “You’re ok. Nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise.”
With Logan trembling in his arms, his terrified breathing the only noise in the living room, his voice still tainted with so much pain and disbelief, Roman knew he’d do anything to keep that promise.