Chapter Text
Miyuki Kazuya is a calculating man.
A genius, being able to pick the best choice out of a hundred choices laid down in front of him in a short time, sorting through the pros and cons and all the possible results. Just like how he called for an outside pitch that the batter definitely missed, just like how he predicted the opponent's pitcher correctly, hitting his best pitch out of the park.
Always weighing, always picking the best choice and avoiding the worst.
"Regrets? I don't think I have any, no," Miyuki had replied arrogantly during an interview. Because he had always chosen the best choice. Because it had been proven that he picked the correct choice choosing baseball instead of Miyuki Steel, picked the path of going to Seido instead of Inashiro, picked the correct team going pro, picked the best pitcher to be his battery, raking wins and wins and wins on his team, making his name known as the genius pretty-boy Catcher.
However, after that night, Miyuki does have regrets.
After that night where he and his team were celebrating a win, Miyuki sitting beside Sawamura, the other half of his battery, his partner ever since high school, his love of his life ever since he first saw him shining on the mound although he was still a cheeky middle schooler then.
Miyuki simply let Sawamura rest his head on his shoulder, let him creep into his personal space, face red from alcohol and eyes drooping due to fatigue. Their closeness aren't anything new, but maybe because of piling curiousity, somehow that night one of his teammate finally asked something they wouldn't had they been sober.
"Are you and Sawamura dating?"
Miyuki flinched. He weighed the answers at the tip of his tongue that he could have given as a reply, and chuckling, he replied simply, "Where did that come from? We're just best friends."
Because despite loving him, Miyuki weighed the pros and cons, and ultimately decided not to tell the pitcher his feelings, because Miyuki told himself that the cons outweighs the pros, and Miyuki didn't want their relationship to be ruined. Or maybe the cons are lesser than the pros after all, but Miyuki never told him because of the cowardice in his heart, because he was afraid Sawamura wouldn't love him back.
He had always noticed the burning gaze the pitcher had for him just like how he noticed the current droopy eyes focusing into him, Sawamura scooting even closer and finally falling into Miyuki's lap.
"Hey, don't sleep here…" Miyuki chided without a bite, looking straight at the golden eyes that he loved so staring into him with the same fervor although half-covered by drowsiness.
"Do you let your friends lie on your lap, Miyuki?"
It's almost a whisper, that nobody else but Miyuki was able to pick due to the loud music blaring on their ears. And really, Miyuki was taken aback he blinked without replying.
Sawamura then lifted himself up with an oomph, stretching his hands above and yawned loudly before using his sleeve to remove a tear from his eye. Miyuki was sure it was a fake yawn, but he didn't even get to think when Sawamura stood up and said, "I'm sleepy so I'll be going home first."
"Then let's go home together," Miyuki automatically said, because they always go home together, Miyuki dropping Sawamura off before going back to his apartment although it's a slight detour.
Well, maybe not slight. But Miyuki doesn't mind.
"I can go home by myself, thank you," Sawamura replied, irritation in his voice.
"Just take up his offer, Sawamura," a teammate had said, "you didn't bring your car, right? It's not safe for an omega to walk home alone at this ungodly hour."
That just added more to Sawamura's irritation. He huffed, "I can go home just fine, thank you!"
Sawamura had always hated how people regarded him as someone fragile just because of his secondary gender. Not that Miyuki would know how it felt, he's just a beta after all. That's right - in this world there are secondary genders classified as alpha, beta and omega. The alphas are apparently the talented, strong ones, while the omegas are apparently the beautiful, fragile ones, while betas are just normal people who don't stand out.
The irony is that Miyuki Kazuya, who is a beta, stood out more than most alphas.
"I'll drive you home. I don't like parties after all, so it's good excuse too," Miyuki said, already standing up, but Sawamura stopped him by putting pressure on his shoulder.
"No need, Miyuki. Or-" Sawamura lowered his voice, "would you like them to ask you again if we dated? Because you seriously treat me like I'm your goddamn girlfriend."
"I-" Miyuki couldn't retort, instead thinking to himself, did I really? continued with is he uncomfortable with it?
Miyuki once again weighed the pros and cons, and decided to let Sawamura go home alone.
And it was the biggest regret he'd ever had.
Two months.
It took two months until the police found Sawamura, who went missing the night after the celebration.
Miyuki had taken a leave from his pro career a few weeks after Sawamura's disappearance, and while it was unprofessional of him to do so, the coach deemed it necessary because really, Miyuki couldn't even play right due to his worry and anxiousness. It's like he lost his ability to weigh choices carefully, every passing second he kept thinking about Sawamura, hoping and praying for his safety.
He used his leave to search for Sawamura, hiring people left and right and doing whatever possible so more men would be mobilized in the search, losing sleep as he combed the whole Japan like a madman.
After a long search, the police finally found him. Miyuki was elated to hear the news, but looking at the informant he hired who gave him the report, he knew something wasn't right. He was pale and looked uncomfortable.
"…. What happened to him?" Miyuki asked, and he would never be ready to hear the answer no matter how much he prepared himself.
Kidnapping. Rape. Drugs. Torture.
Miyuki felt his world crumble.
Sawamura was apparently kidnapped by an illegal omega prostitution ring and then brought into one of their brothels while being injected with drugs continuously. His kidnapper knew about him- about his baseball career, and of course his clients also knew and chose him specifically. Omegas were rare, moreso male omegas, making them easy target for kidnapping and slavery because of the high price. One of the police had posed as a client and caught the kidnapper and his group, but Sawamura's condition was beyond miserable when he was found.
Tons of sutures on his body, a bad attempt of first aid, apparently from a struggle while getting raped. His bones- broken at many places, but the police immediately noticed one part - his left hand - his pitching hand - swollen and looked like it's been broken for a long time. His arm had a lot of needle bruises, from drug injection. He was also heavily malnourished and weak. Whoever did it to him didn't give him any mercy.
Upon waking up on the hospital bed Sawamura had screamed and almost committed suicide with a fruit knife before finally the hospital staff decided to sedate him. Only afterwards did the informant that he hired finally shared the news with Miyuki, and he immediately rushed to the hospital, almost getting into an accident or two because of his impatient driving.
"Please no," he heard Sawamura's voice first time in two months, and it had to be of him sobbing, "please don't tell my family."
Miyuki ran so fast to the hospital room he was reprimanded by few nurses who he hadn't even spared a glance at, but now that he's in front of Sawamura's room with the door ajar, he couldn't bring himself to enter.
Sawamura was bandaged everywhere and he choked between sobs, begging the doctor to not inform his family - and Miyuki wasn't exaggerating when he thought his chest felt like it's been impaled by a thousand spear.
"Miyuki," Sawamura said between his sobs, "I want to see Miyuki."
And that apparently gave Miyuki the push to finally enter the room, although the staffs said he couldn't, running straight to Sawamura.
"Sawamura…!" Miyuki called his name, because he didn't know what else to say. Upon hearing it, Sawamura's eye widened like he didn't expect Miyuki to magically appear like he did.
"Miyuki-san, you really shouldn't be here," a nurse tried to pull him away.
"Let him stay. Please," Sawamura said, and the doctor nodded before finally the nurses and the doctor himself decided to give them some privacy.
The room was filled with silence, Miyuki not sure what he should have said because no matter how much he weighed the pros and cons, his words will definitely hurt Sawamura.
Only when Sawamura sobbed did Miyuki whip his head towards him, hands clenching on the railings.
"Sawamura, I'm here!" he heard himself blurt.
Sawamura didn't reply, his ability to do so failing because of how hard he was crying.
"I'm here," Miyuki said again, and he knew he shouldn't touch Sawamura, not with his wounds and trauma still weighing him, but he really wanted to hug him, although he's scared to do so.
"I'll stay here," Miyuki said, in assurance. He really wanted to apologize to Sawamura, for deciding not to drive him home that night- but he knew the apology will only hurt him, so he didn't.
"It was so scary," Sawamura said within broken sobs.
"It's okay now," Miyuki replied, "I'm with you now."
"It was so scary, Miyuki-senpai,"
"You're safe now," Miyuki assured. He didn't realize when, but he had started crying as well.
"I was so afraid…"
They didn't stop crying until their tears dried.
Sawamura had fallen into slumber after crying his heart out. Miyuki was hesitant to leave Sawamura but he needed to take care of the hospital papers, him being one of his emergency contact aside from his family. The doctor stared at him with understanding in his eyes as he repeated what the informant told Miyuki earlier, except it's more detailed - and it made his blood boil with anger - whoever had a hand in it will pay with their life. Miyuki wouldn't let them die a peaceful death.
"…..and also, he's pregnant."
"What…?"
Miyuki thought he wouldn't be shocked by anything anymore, but the word made him dizzy and he suddenly felt like vomiting.
"They've been doing it for two months, and apparently Sawamura-san's heat was last month."
The doctor himself looked very uncomfortable as he explained, "…. The clients are alphas, so-"
"Enough," Miyuki said, stopping the doctor. He needed to hear the full diagnosis but he wasn't ready for that.
He could never be ready for that, no.
"… Miyuki-san, my daughter is also an omega," the doctor said, placing his hand on Miyuki's. "I swear I'll do my best to help with the investigation."
"Thank you, doctor," Miyuki weakly said, his hands trembling in anger, sadness, hatred.
Sawamura's pregnancy was reaching 4 weeks.
The doctor also said the alphas placed multiple forced claims based on the bite marks on his neck, but none turned permanent because the omega rejected all of them, which is a serious display of self-control, Sawamura never submitting into his instincts despite being intoxicated with drugs and aphrodisiac.
Still, he got pregnant.
Miyuki was sure Sawamura didn't know yet.
He should tell him. It's better to get rid of it while it's still early.
A wave of nausea immediately hit Miyuki. He was about to tell Sawamura to kill his own child.
A child that was made without his consent, but his child nonetheless.
Miyuki buried his face on his hands, "What am I supposed to do…?"
Miyuki weighed the cons and the pros, but couldn't find an answer.
"Is it true you've found Sawamura?" Kuramochi asked in a phone call. The news probably already reached his family too. The police only said kidnapping, without leaking any details. Sawamura asked for that and they respected his decision.
"Yeah," Miyuki replied, trying to sound normal, but Kuramochi is perceptive - and there's no running from the shortstop.
"Something happened, right?" Kuramochi asked, and Miyuki swallowed. He knew he wouldn't be able to avoid this, but.
"Please," Miyuki begged, "please don't ask."
Miyuki sounded like he wanted to cry, so Kuramochi didn't press for more.
"When Sawamura is ready, he'll tell you," Miyuki added, but he's sure Kuramochi already thought of what had happened, because he heard the shortstop cursing on the other side.
Sawamura had apparently refused any phone calls and resorted to messenger apps, telling his family that he's okay - nobody bought it, of course, but his family was understanding enough not to press and Sawamura was thankful for that.
"Miyuki, why are you not playing baseball?" Sawamura had asked one time when Miyuki was visiting him. He stared blankly on the television screen that is displaying nothing, and Miyuki unconsciously mimicked him.
"…. I'm on a leave," Miyuki replied, not telling him I was worried sick about you I play like a fool because he didn't want Sawamura to blame himself.
"I can't play baseball anymore," Sawamura said quietly, like he'd accepted his fate, and Miyuki's not having any of it.
"You can," Miyuki said, "you'll go on a rehab, and,"
"I can't play baseball anymore, so," Sawamura cut him, "I hope you'd play for me too, because I really like seeing you play, Miyuki-senpai."
Using honorifics at this kind of time is unfair, don't you think?
Miyuki swallowed his tears, "Okay. I'll play for you, too."
The doctor hadn't told him that his left hand wouldn't be able to function normally even after it's healed, but Sawamura probably already knew.
Miyuki was back into the roster and although he wasn't fully himself yet with half of him missing, Miyuki performed decently. However, a month after his return he suddenly received an email from gibberish address which he would've usually deleted immediately, but the subject of the email reads: Sawamura Eijun.mp4
And Miyuki already expected what's inside, but he kept praying no, no, no, as he rushed towards his car, seeking privacy to open the attached video.
But of course his fears turned into reality as the video played inside his car, every single second in it cutting Miyuki into pieces, dousing him with acid.
"Miyuki-s-senpai, save me…" Sawamura had croaked in the video, although it was drowned by the sound of skin slapping and moans and laughter of his unrevealed captor as he was ravaged, pulled back forcefully when he tried to crawl away, broken sobs and groans of pain resounding together with Miyuki's name as Sawamura called and called but Miyuki wasn't there with him, he couldn't save him, he-
Miyuki closed the video, tears welling in his eyes as he clutched at his chest, hands trembling. His eye focused at what was written under the video.
Stop playing baseball, or we'll spread this.
Miyuki didn't even weigh the pros and cons- he'd do anything for Sawamura's sake.