Chapter Text
Janus was the first to awake from their impromptu morning nap, blinking his weary eyes open, he carefully extracted himself from underneath both twins combined weight, waiting a moment to ensure they both stayed sound asleep.
He groaned as he stretched, his back popping in multiple places, before he mumbled complaints about getting too old to sleep in such constricting positions.
Glancing up to the clock Roman kept on his wall, he noticed it was just past 10am.
That would be perfect, as Patton usually started cooking breakfast around this time. No matter how many times the others insisted they could cook for themselves, Patton just shushed them, insisting it was his duty as the “dad” of the group.
For once, this actually benefited him. It was perfect, all the sides would be together in one place. He would have the chance to carefully let them know of Roman’s issues, and, hopefully, get him help.
He felt slightly bad at planning to tell Roman’s darkest secrets, but looking at him, truly looking at him, seeing the scars and bandages that peaked out from underneath his clothes, his mind was made up.
He would get Roman help, even if he didn’t want it.
He couldn’t ignore it anymore. The guilt was almost, almost too much to bear. It was his duty to protect Thomas, yes, but also his duty to protect all of the sides, especially the ego. And he had been doing a poor- no, he had been doing a terrible job at that.
Awful, really.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he walked forward. None of that was important right now, his feelings of guilt could wait. Roman was the most important thing right now. Roman needed help. And help he would get.
Glancing back one more time at the twins sleeping peacefully on the couch, he threw a blanket over them, giving each a kiss on their temple, before walking out, determined to start to fix this mess, determined to get Roman the help he needs, the help he deserves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patton had just started to prepare breakfast when Janus had walked in, Patton glanced back, sending a beaming smile his way, slightly waving.
“Good morning, Jan! Go on and sit down, the others should be with us soon.” He exclaimed, voice radiating with what Janus would consider the literal embodiment of sunshine and rainbows.
“Oh, uhm, thank you, Patton.” He said, before choosing his usual seat at the table, sitting down.
Patton had no verbal reply for that, instead humming happily in response, pouring more batter into a pan on the stove.
They existed in a content silence for a moment, until Janus had to break it. He was here for something more important than breakfast, after all.
He cleared his throat, gathering Patton’s attention.
At the noise, Patton turned around, raising a curious eyebrow at him.
“Patton...” he started slowly, not knowing how to start this sort of conversation with the literal embodiment of emotions. “We....we need to talk.” It was a weak opening, he knew it, but he wasn’t sure how else to open such a conversation. ‘Oh yeah, by the way, one of your “sons” aka Roman, has been hurting himself for over a decade! And oh yeah, he tried to kill himself last night!’
Janus just grimaced at his internal thoughts, yeah, no, that would not work out well telling him that.
Patton held up a finger, signaling him to wait a moment, before quickly turning around to finish cooking the pancakes he had on the stove, moving the pan off the burner and turning off the flame.
He quickly grabbed a towel to wipe his hands, before pulling out a chair and sitting in it backwards, his usual goofy smile replaced with one of curiosity and barely hidden concern.
“So, what can I do for ya, Janus?” He gently asked, voice easy going and empathetic.
“Ah...well, this is...well, this is more of a conversation to be had with all the sides.” ‘And Thomas, he added mentally. “Speaking of which, where are they? Aren’t they usually up by now?” Janus gently asked, not wanting to give too much away.
Patton’s smile fell just a bit, his eyes filling with more concern than curiosity now, before quietly replying.
“Oh...uhm. Well, Logan and Virgil are..are with Thomas. He uh, he had a pretty bad nightmare last night,” he started, playing with the edges of his cardigan that was wrapped around his neck. “I...didn’t catch much of what the dream was about, just that it involved blood, and lots of it.”
He chuckled nervously to himself, before continuing.
“As for Roman and Remus, I’m not...I’m not too sure. They tried to summon Remus, figuring he’d be able to help, what with him and his...thoughts and all, but no one, not even Thomas, was able to summon him.”
Looking away, Janus’ face paled. Patton either didn’t notice, or chose to continue anyway.
“And Roman...I’m not too sure. He’s...probably still asleep, or in the imagination. We...we haven’t seen much of him, lately.” He muttered sadly, looking down forlornly.
“I’m-...we, we’ve been real concerned about him lately, actually. Me more than the others, really. Logan is...well, Logan is still kind of mad about the..about the wedding-“
Janus grimaced, looking up, nodding at Patton to continue.
“And well...Virgil is, well, Virgil...he says if something was wrong, he would know, being anxiety and all but well-“ he waved his hand, making a so so motion. “I don’t really believe that. I just know something is wrong, I just know it.”
Janus sighed, letting his head gently plop onto the table. Before sitting up straight and looking Patton in the eyes.
“Patton...I don’t know how to say this, but you’re...you’re right. There is something wrong, there is something seriously, seriously wrong.”
Patton raised an eyebrow, curious as to where this conversation was going.
“Oh, my. What...what’s wrong, Janus?”
He took a deep breath, deciding if he really wanted to do this or not. After all, it wasn’t really his place to tell the others about Roman and his issues.
But as he felt his hand brush against Roman’s note he still had in his pocket, he sighed, knowing he had to, knowing Roman, himself, would not.
“It’s..it’s Roman, Patton. He’s..he’s not okay, far from it, actually.”
Patton gasped, hands flying up to cover his mouth, tears already pricking the corner of his eyes, not even hearing the worst of it yet.
Janus felt awful, knowing that hearing this would crush the moral side, but knowing he had to anyway.
“I really don’t know how to tell you this...” Janus began, sounding more sincere than ever before. “And I’m so sorry you have to hear it from me, and not Roman himself but...”
He gulped, trying to find his voice, before speaking in the quietest, most forlorn voice anyone has ever heard him speak in.
“But...last night, Remus and I found him...we found him in his bathroom, bleeding out from...self inflicted wounds. We tended to them, and comforted him the best we could. But I...”
He paused, looking up at the moral sides slowly dampening face, before reaching out a hand, placing it on top of Patton’s.
“..I am afraid this is out of my area of expertise, out of all of our areas of expertise I’m afraid...Roman is...it’s bad, Patton. Extremely bad.”
To emphasize his point, Janus reached into his pocket. Pulling out the now tear stained, slightly crumpled piece of paper that was Roman’s note, before handing it over to Patton.
Patton grasped the note from Janus’ hand with more protective ferocity than Janus had thought possible.
His eyes quickly began scanning the note from top to bottom, his eyes growing more and more wet before he was full on sobbing by the end, staining the paper with more tears in its short life span.
He held the paper close to his chest, letting out guttural sobs, with broken pieces of words being mutter in between. “Ro...oh, Roman how- the wedding- didn’t notice- I don’t get-“
Janus stood from his chair, quickly embracing the moral side in a gentle but firm hug, before whispering in his ear.
“Shhh Patton, Patton, oh, Pat, it’s okay. It’s okay, it’s not your fault I-..” he swallowed gravely, the guilt in his chest building and building until it pushed tears to prick at the corner of his eyes as well.
“...We all played a part in this, no one noticed, not just you...I didn’t notice, and I’m the literal embodiment of lies...we all played a part to Roman’s mental state. All of us. And it will take all of us to fix it.”
Patton nodded grimly, sniffling once more before wiping his face on his sleeve. Janus grimaced before handing him a tissue, he heard Patton mutter a small ‘thank you’, before cleaning and collecting himself.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, save for Patton’s occasional sniffles.
When Patton eventually looked up, his face was full of concern and determination, more so than Janus had ever seen it. The only words to come out of his mouth were-
“We need to get the others. Now.”