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Marinette choked on her tea. Just a little.
“I am dying, Marinette,” Alya said, groaning as she slumped forward on the café table. Marinette set her tea back on the table and pounded a fist against her chest, coughing to clear her lungs. She couldn’t have heard her right. There was no way Alya had just said… “I am so fucking horny, and he refuses to touch me!”
Nope. Ok. She had definitely heard her right the first time.
“Er…” Marinette said, because what else could she say? She certainly didn’t have that problem. Luka never had any problem touching her. That had never been a problem of theirs.
…she had also never been three-nearly-four months pregnant before, so she supposed there was always room for it to become an issue later?
“I get it was my fault at first,” Alya continued with a sigh. She pushed herself up and glared blearily at her own tea. “My tits were so sore at first, and then the morning sickness set in, and every time he tried I almost bit his head off. I get it – I wouldn’t have fucked me, either.”
“Have…have you told him you’re not anymore? Sore? Or queasy?” Marinette asked, fiddling with her cup. How had she landed herself in this conversation? True, Alya had always been pretty open about things (she knew way more about Alya’s sex life than Alya would ever know about her own), but…it was too early in the morning and in too public a setting to be having this discussion. Right? Right. “That you’d like him to…er…touch you?”
“Oh, he knows,” Alya said, and there was a murderous little glint in her eye Marinette was usually only privy to when her friend was masked up as Rena Rouge. “He is very well aware of how much he needs to fuck me. That is not the problem.”
“Ok, I’ll bite,” Marinette sighed, pushing her tea away. “What exactly is the problem, Alya?”
“Adam Sandler,” Alya said, spitting the name out like a curse. Marinette just blinked.
What. The. Fuck…?
“Er…” she said, once again at a loss for words. Alya groaned even louder, drawing the attention of the other patrons at the café, and slumped down against the table. Marinette waved off the concerned stares and mouthed pregnant while pointing at her friend. There was a smattering of oooohs and sympathetic nods before the other patrons turned back to their meals and conversations. She reached out and patted Alya’s shoulder. “Ok, help me out here. I am so confused.”
“You remember the movie Grown Ups? Where he’s playing that big wig movie exec that goes back to his hometown when his childhood basketball coach dies and he reconnects with his old friends?” Alya asked. Marinette blinked at her. She was pretty sure Alya hadn’t taken a single breath during that whole thing. She nodded, and Alya huffed out a sigh. “We were watching it the other night. And Nino…there’s this stupid scene, right, because Chris Rock’s wife is pregnant, and one of the guys – because he’s a stupid fucking guy – goes, ‘Hey, do you think when they have sex the baby thinks it’s getting a tootsie pop?’ And Nino…”
“…no,” Marinette said, cutting her off. She shook her head, biting down on her lip to try and keep from laughing. “Alya. No.”
“Nino’s been so great, and really proactive, right, and doing all this research…do you know the baby’s eyes are fully developed by the second month?” Alya asked, looking up at her with wide eyes. “So I tell him we haven’t had sex since we found out I was pregnant, but damn I could really use a good orgasm, right, and he looks at me…and he looks at me and says…”
“No, Alya,” Marinette groaned, dropping her head into her hands and rubbing at her eyes.
“He tells me I can’t put my dick in there the baby will see it,” Alya hissed at her. Marinette was pretty sure her lip was going to start bleeding, what with how hard she was biting it. “Because the baby has eyes, Marinette. And not just eyes! Superhero eyes! Eyes that can clearly see through my vagina, so he’s not going anywhere near me, and I am so fucking horny I would fuck Dingo.”
Marinette choked again, and that time she did start laughing. Full-on cackles as she collapsed on the table, because that…Alya…what the hell had she just heard? Her brain was still stuck on tootsie pop.
“And I keep telling him that’s not how it works, that the baby will be fine, that it’s more likely to get hurt because I’m so sexually frustrated my stress levels are up, but nope,” Alya huffed. She drained the rest of her tea in an aggravated gulp, crumbling the paper takeaway cup as she slammed it back onto the table. “The baby has eyes, and fucking his pregnant wife would be like showing the baby a porno, and you can’t show babies pornos, Alya!”
“I…” Marinette started, but she had nothing to follow that up with. She just shook her head at Alya, her mouth hanging open as she tried to not laugh again. Alya sighed and slumped back in her chair.
“I’m desperate, Mari,” Alya sighed. “I need a real dick here. I tried fingers, I tried toys…I even tried the stupid shower this morning, but then Nino caught me and freaked out because oh my God Als what if you slip? I am so stupid horny, and my husband is doing nothing to fix it. I am being neglected, Marinette.”
A deranged little laugh escaped Marinette (who knew for a fact that Alya was not being ‘neglected’, at least not in all ways, because Nino had called her at two AM the night before desperate for peanut butter macarons to satisfy a Pregnancy Craving), and Alya cocked her head to the side as she looked at her. There was a curious expression on her face: the kind she often got when she was puzzling out a new angle on a story. The kind of expression Marinette had learned to fear many years ago.
“Hey…” she started, and Marinette’s mouth snapped shut as an icy tendril of fear crept down her spine. “If Nino’s not willing to help a girl out…think Luka would?”
There was a moment that passed with the two women blinking at each other, Marinette in horrified disbelief and Alya completely oblivious to what was wrong with her question…request…God Marinette hoped it was just a question and not a request…
“…I’ll talk to him,” Marinette said with a sigh. When she saw Alya’s smirk, her eyes narrowed in a glare. “Nino, Alya. I’ll talk to Nino. You keep your hands off my husband, thanks.”
“Can’t blame a girl for trying,” Alya sighed. She shifted, squirming in a way that to an innocent bystander might look like she had to pee but, to Marinette, was definitely more…incriminating. “Mmm. I bet he’s packing, too. Luka may look like a lanky bastard, but we’ve all seen the suit.” Marinette choked again. She needed to stop drinking her tea. (Alya wasn’t wrong, but Alya also didn’t need to know that…) “Seriously, Mari. I’m so horny I’d fuck you. Well. Maybe. I need a dick, not…ugh. I need hands on me. I need my husband to stop being such a fucking idiot.”
Marinette’s laugh was definitely a little high-pitched as she reached over and patted Alya’s hand.
“What would our husbands be if not idiots?” she asked, shaking her head. “I’ll talk to him, Alya.”
“Thank you,” Alya sighed. Her head popped up, and she scrunched her face as she glared at the smashed coffee cup on the table. “Goddammit. Now I have to pee.”
Marinette watched her make her way to the restrooms, grumbling the entire way, and hid her smile behind her cup. Luka was never going to believe this…
– V –
Luka looked up as the door opened, grinning as his wife walked in. She looked a little dazed, laughing slightly over something as she hung up her purse and removed her shoes. He slipped his headphones off and put Claire back in her stand before turning the desk chair towards the door.
“Hey, darning,” he called. “Have a good lunch? How’s Alya doing?”
“Luka,” Marinette said, shaking her head as she walked over to him. His eyebrows rose as she sat down on his lap, dipping her head to kiss him soundly. He laughed a little when she pulled away, smiling stupidly at her. “If you get a message from Alya later, I don’t care what she tells you. You tell her no.”
“…what?” he asked, his face scrunching a little in confusion. She kissed him again, shifting a little to lean more fully into him. Her hand slid from where it had settled on his chest, down his stomach, to hover at the waistband of his jeans. He smiled nervously when she pulled away. Her manicured nails had slipped under his shirt and were lightly scratching his stomach, which was very distracting. “What…er…what’s she gonna ask me, darning?”
“Just tell her no,” she said. His eyebrows rose as her hand dipped lower, and he squawked into her next kiss when she palmed him through his jeans. His grip on her hips tightened, the squawk turning into a needy little whine the longer she touched him. “You are mine. Your dick is mine. Bri can fight her own battles, but I’m putting my foot down here.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” he laughed, catching her wrist and pulling her hand away before she could completely distract him. She pouted, and he groaned before leaning forward to bite at the lip jutting out at him. She was smiling when he leaned back. “What are you talking about? Why is Alya interested in my dick?”
“Not your dick, per se. I’m pretty sure any dick will do by this point,” Marinette said with a roll of her eyes. “She said she’d even fuck Dingo.”
“…ew,” Luka said with a shudder, grimacing at the thought. “Ok, but why? She has Nino. There’s a baby coming next year that proves she very much has Nino.”
“The baby’s the problem,” Marinette said. When Luka continued to frown, she kissed him again. “Did you know their baby apparently has superpowers?”
“Er…ok?” he hazarded. She was snickering again.
“Her hormones are going haywire, and she really needs him to sleep with her, right? Except he won’t sleep with her. Because the baby’s eyes are fully developed at two months, and she’s almost at four months, and apparently fully developed means x-ray vision or something,” Marinette snickered. She rested her head on his shoulder, snuggling against him as she continued to laugh. “He won’t…because the baby will see, Luka.”
“…you have got to be kidding me,” Luka said, choking on his own laugh.
“Because an Adam Sandler movie told him so,” she added, and he wasn’t as successful at hiding the laugh that time. His head fell back, a hand slapping over his eyes. “And Alya is so horny she actually asked me if I’d be willing to share.”
“No,” he said quickly, jerking back up to kiss her again. “Absolutely not. I am not interested in being shared.”
“That’s what I told her,” Marinette said. She rested her head back on his shoulder, smiling as she settled against him. “I’d do anything for Alya, but I draw the line at sharing my husband.” Her hand found his crotch again, and he moaned when she nipped at his lip. “Like I said: your dick is mine.”
“Keep that up and I’ll happily show you how yours it is,” he nearly growled against her lips, his voice breathy and strained. She giggled and pressed her palm a bit more firmly against him. His hips jerked towards her.
“Isn’t keeping it up the point?” she whispered, making him laugh. She continued to palm him, her lips moving to pepper little kisses along his jaw. He needed to shave – he’d been in a bit of a creative spiral the past day or so, and his skin was scratchy. Distracting thoughts of stubble left her mind when his hands found her ass and pulled her closer. “Mmmm. Ok. I might be a little horny, too. There as an awful lot of discussion about my husband’s dick at lunch, after all.”
“I’m ignoring that only because I’m always horny around you,” he chuckled. His voice still sounded strained, and the sound went straight to her core. She hummed, nipping at his neck, and his body jerked again – enough that the chair they were sitting in rolled back against the desk. She giggled when she heard it rattle behind them. “We…we should move.”
“Probably best,” she said. Neither made any attempt to do so, however, as they continued to exchange lazy kisses. She began rocking against him, and he sighed as his fingers kneaded her ass. “I can’t believe Alya actually asked me that. Like I’d ever share you.”
“I can’t believe Nino won’t take care of his wife,” Luka chuckled, slipping a little lower in the chair so their hips were better aligned. She smiled down at him as one of his hands slipped under her shirt. “Craziness. I can’t imagine ever wanting to not fuck you.”
“Is that so?” she giggled, and his smile grew as she pulled her shirt off. His hand reached up for the clasp on her bra, and she giggled again as she slapped his fingers away before undoing the clasp herself. He hummed in appreciation when the bra joined the shirt on the floor. “Even if I was four months pregnant and the baby could see your dick coming straight at it because oh my God, Luka, it has EYES?”
His head tipped back as a full-body laugh shook through him, but she was laughing too as she gripped his shoulders and began kissing his neck. He rocked forward, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her close, and dropped a kiss to her chest.
“God, yes,” he wheezed, nuzzling his face into her breasts. “Even then. You are sexy as hell, Marinette. My favorite thing to do.” She snorted, and he winked at her. “The only thing I would worry about is…I don’t know, getting too active and shaking the baby up. Or something. I mean, I don’t know much about pregnancy yet, but I know one of the ways they suggest inducing labor is sex, right? So sex can’t be all that bad for the baby, right?”
“It’s certainly good for maman,” Marinette snickered, thinking of how wound up Alya was without a good orgasm or two.
“Exactly. So, yeah…” he sighed, nuzzling her again.
He lifted his head to grin at her. His hand cupped the back of her head and pulled her down to him, kissing her slowly. She hummed into the kiss, her hips rolling slowly but firmly against his. She could feel him through their clothes, hard and straining for her. They really needed to get out of the chair.
“So I might take my time with fucking you,” he said, his other hand sliding back to her ass and squeezing. She rolled her eyes as he grinned at her – he was such an ass man. “But I’m definitely still fucking you. And I gotta be honest…the idea of you pregnant? That we actually made a person together? Kinda just makes me want to fuck you more.”
“…seriously? Even after seeing how obnoxious Pregnant Alya is?” she asked, pulling back to look at him incredulously. “I could be a total nightmare pregnant.”
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Alya’s always been Alya. You…well. We won’t know until it happens, right? I don’t see you getting as bad as Alya, though.”
“You never know,” she laughed, bending down to rub their noses together. His hand squeezed her ass again, and she grinned. “My boobs could get super sore. I might get crazy hormonal and start yelling at you all the time. Might crave something really gross and send you out at three AM to find it for me. Might decide I don’t want you touching me because I’m too bloated and gross and you did this to me no way you’re coming near me again.”
He laughed, and she squealed as he rose from the chair, his arms locked under her and around her waist to hold her secure. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his middle, and he chuckled as he started walking towards their bedroom.
“Luka!” she laughed, and he paused to hold her against the wall outside their room, bending his head back to her chest.
“If that’s the case, then, I better get my fill of you now, right?” he teased, glancing up at her before lightly scraping his teeth over her nipple. She gasped, arching against him, and she felt him smile against her skin as he closed his lips around the hardened peak.
“Y-you’re acting like I’m already pregnant,” she laughed a little breathlessly. He lifted his head and smiled at her, and she cupped her hand against his cheek. He leaned into her touch, closing his eyes as she brushed her thumb against his skin. “We’re not even actively trying, Lu. Our baby’s still ages away.”
“Maybe we should,” he said, his eyes barely opening to look at her through a half-lidded stare that did pleasant things to her stomach. “Gotta admit. I love the sound of that, Mari. Our baby. Even if you go crazy and threaten to cut my dick off…please don’t go crazy and threaten to cut my dick off.”
She snorted, dropping her forehead against his as they both laughed.
“But even if you are a crazy Alya-type pregnant…our baby, darning,” he sighed, kissing her. He rocked her into the wall, and she hummed as her arms tightened around his shoulders. One of her hands tangled in his hair, and a little keening noise escaped him when she tugged. “Our baby.”
“…ok,” she murmured, nipping at his lip as she pulled away. He blinked hazily at her, and she smiled as she combed her fingers through his hair. “Get me on that bed and let’s start trying.”
The smile he gave her as he stepped away from the wall was one of her favorites, brilliant and blinding and hers.
It didn’t leave his face the rest of the night, and as he held her close, his body spasming as he came inside of her, she couldn’t help but hope that smile would be one of the things their baby would inherit.
– V –
A few weeks later – maybe a little over a month – found Marinette and Luka cuddled on their couch, a movie both had stopped paying attention to a while ago playing in the background. Luka’s arms were wrapped around her waist, her back pressed against his chest as he nuzzled her neck. She was on the phone with Alya, desperately trying to ignore him while he desperately tried to get her to hang up the damn phone.
Alya, of course, was ranting about how I haven’t had a decent shit in a WEEK, Marinette, I’m fucking DYING here and hadn’t noticed anything amiss.
Ah well. Marinette supposed Alya’s recent constipation was an improvement over the horniness. (…because, of course, now that Nino realized there was absolutely nothing wrong with fucking his pregnant wife, Alya was once again ready to kill him if he came near her. Hormones.)
“Did your doctor have any…” Marinette started, but she had to stop as she bit her lip. Luka had found one of the more sensitive parts of her neck and had decided to nibble on it. Her free hand gripped his tight, and she felt his lips curl against her skin in a smirk before he nipped her again. “…any suggestions? Medicine or…or anything? You said constipation could happen.”
“Nothing useful,” Alya grumbled. Marinette could hear her slamming cabinets on the other end. Luka’s hand moved to cup her breast, and she gasped in a breath as he squeezed and her breast…and then he flicked her nipple, and she… “Fucking men. What the hell’s the point of ‘em anyway, Mari? YES, NINO, I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU. FUCKING USELESS.”
But Marinette wasn’t listening to Alya anymore. She had turned her head to lock wide eyes with Luka, who had frozen when her free had had gripped his wrist in a vice to yank his hand off her entirely-too-tender breast. He lifted his head from her shoulder, and she saw the beginnings of a really stupid smile on his face. Her grip tightened on his wrist as she swallowed.
“A-Alya?” she squeaked, and when Alya didn’t hear her over her threats to castrate Nino if she didn’t get a decent bowel movement in soon, Marinette cleared her throat and tried again. “Alya!”
“WHAT?!” Alya roared into the phone, and Marinette bit her lip as Luka’s grin grew.
“Hang up now,” he whispered. He’d gotten his hand free and had rested it on her ribs, but he was intentionally keeping clear of her chest. “Please. I need to kiss you.”
“Alya, I love you, but I really have to go,” Marinette said, her eyes still locked on Luka. She swallowed when Alya started squawking protests, but she could feel a smile threatening to break out on her own face. Luka’s eyes darted to her lips, darkening as his hand moved from her ribs to her perfectly flat, perfectly innocent stomach. “I…I think I need to go get a pregnancy test.”
That smile of his got really stupid once she actually said the words, and it was maybe worth the busted ear drum from Alya’s shrieking.
“Love you, Alya, bye,” Marinette said quickly as she hung up. The phone was dropped on the floor as she twisted in his arms, knocking him back onto the couch as she grabbed his face and kissed him hard, both laughing a bit too much to keep it up for long. One of his hands was still pressed flat against her stomach, but the other had snuck back up to her chest, and she jerked away from him with a tiny yelp when he squeezed. Just to check. Just to be sure. She bit down on her smile as he grinned up at her. When he reached for her breast again, his touch was much gentler – a mere brushing of his fingers over her shirt. “It…it might not mean anything, Luka. It could just be my period.”
“Your boobs don’t normally get that sensitive on your period, Marinette,” he said, and she had to admit he was right. A little sensitive, true, but not to the point where they hurt like… “Think the pharmacy’s still open?”
“God, I hope so,” she said, kissing him again – a bit slower and deeper that time. She couldn’t hide the smile when she pulled back. “You know it might not prove anything yet. Alya’s boobs started hurting weeks before she took the test. Rose said it’s one of the first signs, and it might happen before a home test can detect anything. This doesn’t mean anything, Luka.”
“…we’re still checking, though, right?” he asked. He was laughing again when she smacked another kiss against his lips. She hopped off of him and ran for the balcony, calling for Tikki as she went. “Marinette!”
“Faster this way!” she said, reaching for the door as Tikki giggled beside her.
“Darning! Your shoes – your purse!” he laughed, standing. “Your husband that really wants to go with you!”
She paused, one bare foot already on their balcony, and turned back to him. He was already by the front door, holding up her purse and shoes as he stepped into his own boots. She bit her lip as he lifted an eyebrow at her, and then she was racing back across the apartment to grab her things. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, patting his chest over his heart.
“Rooftops are still faster,” she whispered as she slipped into her flats. “Sass! C’mon – we gotta go!”