Chapter Text
" You’re scaring us and
all of us, some of us love
you, Achilles
It’s not much but
There's proof "
----
She breathed. breath held till her lungs ached. Then, she exhaled.
Cold fingertips -- due to the glass of whiskey in hand-- found their ways to her cheeks, grazing slightly as the temperature changed. Two corps molding themselves to adapt. One cold, the other slightly hot, then both warm.
She left her hands fall from her cheeks; the alcohol bottle in her gasp this time. She pondered if she should just drink straight from it or pour herself a drink. As the opening of the bottle found its way to her lips “ last option it is not then.” ,She, out loud, spoke.
Swallowing, she left the taste stick into her soul, though it didn’t matter anymore; her palate was not feeling much of any taste, since she had lost count of how many she had tonight.
Images of the night before dropped into her mind. what’ s the point of drinking if she could barely forget the reason she was drinking for?
Traitorous brain.
foolish heart.
She scoffed as a clinical eyebrow was raised. Thoughts flowing and enrolling into themselves; another drink went down her throat. The feeling could still be felt, that subtle though warm touch that for almost a year she hadn’t had access to. She didn’t even deserve it now. Not really.
That beautiful smile, although strained, still bright.
No, not quite. A bit dimmed now it was, and she was the reason why.
stupid.
It was probably one of her biggest sins; the time that she took away that smile and replaced it by sorrow and tears. Regret ate her inside. Another sip went down. A solemn tear escaped her eyelids.
“ idiot.” She chastised herself.
As she raised the drink once again, she drank more in one go than she should. But again, who cared right? Not her, and no one else really.
She had no more friends, no family, no one to rely on . And, well, now neither did she have Kara.
Blue eyes, full of disappointment and rage flew through her brain. The bottle was already empty in her hand.
She couldn’ t make herself regret how much drink she was having. If it would lead her to an early grave, oh well, lucky her then.
Lena wondered what Kara was doing. Was she saving another life, fulfilling her destiny was a hero of heart? Was she writing a new article as the ace reporter of Catco WordWide Media? Was she celebrating this small victory over Leviathan?
No, she knew it wasn’ t that. Since Nia brought an unconscious Brainy to Lena’s lab, everyone was on edge. Lena stabilised his vitals, but it wasn’ t enough for him to wake up yet.
Still, she couldn’ t help but let her thoughts wander. Dangerous thing, that it is.
Perhaps she was with Willian Dey on a date or whatever.
The thought made her lips drop a wry laugh as she stood from the counter and reached the gabinet searching for another drink. With swaying feets, her destination was reached. Her eyes were blurry, so any option would do. The first bottle was then. Lucky no one was here to see a luthor decaying.
Speaking of which, after the last battle, Lex went missing together with mother dearest. On top of it, the Luthor name went to the mud once again, and she, as always, was the one responsible to drag it out.
“ Great.” Her voice is loud due to the emptiness of her apartment. “ I’m back to hell.”
‘ Or perhaps I never really left.’ added, as an afterthought.
The only moments that she felt truly good and cherished were the ones she had with Kara. But well, those were gone too. And Lena couldn’t do anything about it.
Not anymore.
She already hurt the blonde too much, it was already beyond repair. If anything, it was all she ever did to her: hurt. She didn't deserve Kara , least of all to have her back. Furthermore, Kara didn’t even want her back, and with reason.
It was made quite clear after their fight inside the lab.
“ I don’t wanna talk about the past” Kept replaying in her head.
Lena sighed and strolled to the couch, making sure not to fall along the way. After sitting, she opened the bottle. It didn’t matter what it was, just that it made her throat ache.
Pain was a relief sometimes. Was something appealing. Lena could almost say that she craved it, relished it. But she also knew that she couldn’t do it. Not again. That rabbit hole was addictive. And Lena was weak. So if she needed to drink to stop those thoughts from coming to the surface, so be it. There would not be a bottle left if needed.
Tonight was going to be a long night.
Sighing loudly, she stared at the lard wide doors of her balcony. Soft breeze entered. She closed her eyes and felt it. The cold, but also the warm.
She missed the sound of the boots on her floor after landing on the balcony. She missed that blond hair and easy smile. She missed her. She missed her Kara.
But, was she even hers, after all?
No, not really.
---
Pain. A throbbing pain cut into her head, right behind her eyes. She raised a hand to meet the place and try to ease the ache. With no avail.
It all ached. Her head. Her mind. Her heart.
She rubbed her swollen eyes and raised from the couch where she laid. Frickles of light were coming from the balcony wide doors as the first beams of sunlight came to life. The dawn had just begun, and she realised she had not slept as much as she thought. She sighed, tired but with a racing mind. She eyed the pack of cigarettes on her desk and thought 'Hell, why not?'
Therefore, She lit it up and went to the balcony. Cigarette between her fingers, cold feet on the ground, and as she reached the railing, soft breeze on her hair. She took the first drag, held her breath --just waiting for the smoke to reach her lungs-- and exhale. White smoke left her mouth and she relished in the feeling. The city was waking up, slowly, but surely. Soon, the sunrise would shine and the day would begin once again.
As she gazed at the city, cigarette in hand and a half cleared mind, she spoke out loud: “ Life isn’t half bad.”
She scoffed at her own words. “ But again, it could be worse.”
Another drag. “ And here I am, talking to myself again.”
Bad old habits never die, though she didn’t want to stop. When she talked to the wind, at least she was speaking out loud, even though no one could hear her.
“ Well, it could be worse.” A voice that is not her own appears. it’s soft, It’s warm, it’s so…
She opens her once closed eyes and takes another drag. She must be imagining things. Imagination sometimes can run wild.
As she opened her heterochromatic eyes, today greener than ever due to the sunlight that reached her face, she saw blue deep ocean eyes staring back at her with an amused expression.
Oh,
Was she hallucinating?
Wide eyes and mouth slightly agape, she looked at her cigarette and back to the blonde hero that was floating on the other side of the railing. Did she get the wrong one?
“ Lena?”
The voice came again, and Lena looked back at blonde bright hair and blue eyes and cape and all. She looked like an angel. No, scratch that. She was like a goddamned goddess.
Still wide eyed, she said.
“ Yes…? “ She was still searching for any signal that it was not real. That Kara was not in front of her.
The blonde must have realised that something was off. Her nose picked a strong smell of alcohol in the air, beyond the smell of smoke, and she really tried to bury the worry deep down. but it was Lena, and her foolish heart never obeyed her when it came to Lena. The anger and hurt seemed to cease every time she looked into those eyes. But she knew she needed to be careful, or her heart would be ripped apart once again.
She couldn’t take it .
She left a small sigh. A small smile grazed her features and Lena seemed to pick on that. She wondered why Kara was looking at her like that. She didn't deserve it. But it made her happy.
“ I didn’t know you smoked.”
Looks like there was a lot we didn’t know about each other.
She looked at the cigarette still in hand and quickly extinguished the small flame in the ashtray that she had bought from her leaving room. The smell must be too strong for Kara’s sensitive nose.
“ Oh, sorry about that.” She said, with a worried smile while she placed a lock of raven hair behind her ear.
Adorable, Kara’s mind said, as she gazed at Lena.
She’s upset, and hurt. Because Lena, her sweet and gentle Lena broke her in pieces that she is not sure will ever become a whole picture again. Her heart never listens to her though. Never have. And,oh, never will.
“ No problem.” She said, sniffing the air. “ Actually, this one does not smell that bad.”
For instance, in this moment, with a flustered Lena in front of her with her disheveled hair, soft green sweater and jeans, her heart wants to put her into a fierce hug and whisper sweet things in her ear.
Frustrating.
Beyond frustrating.
“ Yeah, it’s one of my favourites because of it. And the smell calms me down a bit. “ Lena said, with a small voice that Kara hasn't heard for a long time. Kara can sense a bit of fear from those eyes, insecurities that may never cease.
She doesn’t enjoy seeing her like that.
Not really.
It is frustrating because she doesn’t know how to act around her. Their relationship is a thin line that could be broken at any moment. They had no label. Not anymore at least. what once was a beautiful though fragile friendship, shattered and became something in between longing gazes and heavy words.
They were both hurt. They were both broken. and they didn’t know what to do about it.
Kara knew, though, that she could not open her heart again. Two heartbreaks from the same person would be too much to bear.
“ But, how can I help you, supergirl? Lena, with her dark hair shining as the sun appeared, said.
Yeah, it would be too much to bear. So Kara needed to steel her heart.
“ oh.” Kara shook her head to focus her mind. “ It’s brainy. Nia called me saying that he woke up 10 minutes ago. She asked you to go there and give him a check up, just in case. ”
An understanding look crossed Lena’s features.
“ She didn’t leave his side, did she? “
“ No, not really.” With a sigh, Kara ran her hand through her hair.
“ I see. Let’s get her something to eat in the way, she must be starving.” As Lena said that, Kara’s stomach growled. the brunette raised an eyebrow at the sound.” And for you too.”
An awkward laugh left Kara’s lips. Her heart flustered. She felt herself blushing.
Then she does what she does best: she deflects.
“ Actually, I-- I have to do something for Alex first, So- uhm- I --I see you there!” Trying to look at anything but Lena, she said.
The soft smile Lena had dimmed and Kara almost took what she said back.
“Ah, uhm, Sure. See you there then.” Lena said, looking at the ground as she retreated to the balcony door.
“ yeah…” Kara whispered softly, disappointed in herself.
---
“ You seem fine by now, but you need to rest. Though your vitals are stable, your body-- and mind-- passed through a lot.” Lena said, as she scribed something in her notebook.
Nia sighed in relief and Brainy grunted, adamant to leave the bed and this state of uselessness. he knew he fucked up, he shouldn’t have believed Lex. Now he needed to gain once again everybodies trust and make amends with Nia. He didn’t deserve her, but he missed her. So, so much.
He gazed at his love and saw her pained though soft gaze. Lena realized and though she knew that Alex and John wanted to question him about the time he was working with her brother, she knew that he needed to rest and to just be.
She looked at the red headed and to the Martian, then at Kara that seemed to notice what she wanted to do. The blonde nodded, giving her permission.
“ Well , we are going to let you two alone for one moment.” After everyone’s acceptance, she continued. “ You need to rest and eat properly, later I will come by and see how you are doing.”
Brainy nodded and Lena waited for everyone, except Nia, to come out of the room. Then she followed after, closing the door.
She sighed and closed her eyes. As she walked, she felt herself hit something strong. She bit her lip to avoid grunting in pain and looked up to see what she almost passed over .
“ uhmn, sorry. “ blue remorseful eyes met hers. With a hand in her hair, Kara said, almost reaching out for Lena. “ Are you okay ?”
With a small smile, Lena answered.
“ yeah.” Then she quickly bid her goodbye for everyone, saying that she needed to do sobre damage control on L-Corp .
As she left, Alex saw her in her sister’s eyes a look akin to distress but filled with yearning. The red-haired sighed, already knowing the reason behind it, but still aware that she needed to tip-toe around the matter if she wanted a straight answer.
“ Have you already gone to see Willian at the hospital since the shot? “
“oh.”She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “ Not really. But I should, shouldn’t I ? “
“ Yes.” Alex nodded, empathy present in her eyes.” Even if you don’t want to have a relationship with him, you should.” Seeking her sister’s gaze, she completed. “ He is still your friend. “
“Yeah, you are right. “ She gazed at the ceiling. “ I owe it to him at least.”
“ Sister’s night tonight? “
“ Uhum." Kara nodded. “ See you later then, and thank you. “ with a soft smile, she left.
Perhaps at sister’s night she would get to talk to Kara about it.
---
Night fell, National city woke as its light came to life and Kara sat on her couch looking through her window.
She sighed loudly. The tiredness on her body was almost unbearable, but the one in her heart was the real problem.
After talking to Willian she had quite a day as the City’s hero and reporter. She missed how things used to be easier. Calmer. However, she knew that her current situation was due to her mistakes and reckless decisions. She couldn’t blame anyone else but herself. And the same went for Lena, who -- after the reveal-- spiralled into a dark path. Though she herself admitted it, Kara didn’t know why she was still so guarded to Let the young Luthor in.
If she was true to herself, it wasn’t because of the kryptonite incident or the manipulation. No, it was beyond that. She knew she could forgive Lena for that, if she already hadn't .
But inside her chest, behind her sternum guarded by her ribs, her heart was shattered. Pieces of once a strong beating one laid. And she had no idea how to fix it. She had no idea how to seek out the source of this numbness; because Lena, Lena was everything to her -- still is-- and she did not know if she could take another blow.
She knew that she would fall for that smile again and she wasn’t sure that Lena would catch her.
And if she hit the ground, she knew she wouldn’t raise up again.
She sighed and stood up, deciding to get some snacks before Alex arrived.
Some potato chips sound good.
----
Drops of rain found its way down her hair, her shoulder, her clothes and then the floor. Running and running and running down. down. down the street.
She decided to walk today. Sent her driver to have a nice evening with his family. She told him that if you got someone to go home to, don’t waste your time. So there he went, to have a nice dinner, to play with his children.
She was tired. The numbness grew at each step. She never knew unrequited love would hurt so bad.
Because, that’s what she was feeling : Love.
She never quite felt it before. That sensation that rips your heart open and just by a single touch, a single smile your word becomes colourful again. She never believed those kinds of things. She was taught not to. But oh, when it came, it hit her like a truck. It was as if thousands of stars reside inside her chest, ready to explode, ready to combust. Just there. Waiting. Waiting for something. For acceptance, for rejection, just to be felt. Just to be alive.
It was painful because she saw her love fall for someone else. She saw her love cry for someone else.
And her oh, so dear love, never saw her as an option. Never had and never would.
She was one of those people that fell for someone who couldn’t love them back.
She knew that from the start.
And she was okay with it.
Or so she told herself.
Because if she could see her love happy, then it was Okay. Then it would be alright.
Then, her love hurt her, deceived her, lied to her. And she hurt her love back. But as she did, she ripped a part of herself away. A bleeding heart that couldn’t be fixed was the only thing left. Because that was what she was: a monster, who could only hurt others and herself.
So when she remembered how Kara acted today, she understood. She really did.
Though a part of her was still hurting, she wanted so badly for them to talk. Really talk. She wanted them to lay everything they had on a table. No more lies, no more omission.
She just wanted them to try again.
But, as she felt tears meeting her cheeks as the drops of rain increased, she knew it wouldn’t happen.
She also knew that it wouldn’t stop her from loving Kara.
She didn’t want to.
So she walked and walked. Her building came into view. However, she was so immersed in thoughts that she did not notice a man following up right behind her, nor another coming out of the Alley she just passed by. Hence, that is why, when she realised something was wrong she was already on the ground with a throbbing ache in her head.
----
Before opening her eyes, the first thing she notices before waking up is that she is in a chair and her arms are tied to its arms. Through open lashes, her vision is foggy, but she can see that she is inside a familiar place.
The throb sensation on her head acts as a reminder of her abduction.
She was hit, then kidnapped to… her own penthouse?
Yeah, she recognises everything here and her balcony door, just ahead of her, is wide open.
She heard voices.
“ Hey, Hey, She woke up. “ One of them said.
Another one appeared in front of Lena, a devilish smirk plastered on his face.
“ Great!! we can finally start then. “
Lena swallowed on nothing, knowing it wouldn’t end well for her.
They seemed not to like the position that they put her in for some reason, which led them to punch her until she lost consciousness again. The next time she woke, she was on her feet, her arms above her head held by handcuffs that were fixed on a rope, which Lena didn’t know where it was tied up. The pressure on her wrists were creating a cut due to the metallic nature of the handcuff.
She could feel it crawling up her skin. deeper at each second.
Her vision was still foggy. The ache in her arms kept growing.
A man, in front of her, with a knife laughed. A sigh left her lips, and she wondered if today would be her end.
" Such a pretty little thing you are. " Her stomach wrapped in itself as the sick voice of the man reached her ears.”Pity we are gonna have you tainted red by the end of the day. “
She wondered if she screamed, Kara would hear her. If Kara would save her.
Before she could try so, a second man approached with a box and as he opened, a green gleam glimmer filled the room. Eyes widen, mouth ajar. Just one person had this amount of kryptonite; the one they were seeking.
Her jaw clenched, she almost felt blood in her mouth by how hard she was setting it.
“ Did Lex send you? “
The man smirked, as if pleased by what he heard.
“ Precisely” He approached with the knife. The cold and solid blade pressed against her cheek. She almost closed her eyes, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t. She won’t give them this satisfaction. “ And I bet you know why we are here? “
Her hard stare never broke as she felt the blade dig her skin from the fresh close to her eyes height until almost reaching her mouth. She did not flinch and she did not break.
“ Considering the amount of Kryptonite, I believe you want to capture a kryptonian.” She said, trying to buy time. For what, she didn’t know.
He laughed and the two beside him followed behind.
“ You see what is gonna happen…” He approached her again, the flicks of her blood could still be seen on the blade he held. The next blow was on her stomach, then another one in each arm. The blood was flooding. The white button up shirt she wore was slowly becoming an abstract painting that would only be destroyed at the end. “ We are going to keep torturing you, until you cry for your super to help you. “
With each word came a new cut, followed by some blows from his left arm.
A laugh escaped from her lips. She didn’t know if it was to evade the pain or just because her sanity was finally getting away from her.
With green piercing eyes full of rage, she splitted a bit of the blood that gathered in her mouth. “ I'd rather die. “
“ So be it. “
And they started, or rather continued, the torture. Each blow, each cut, each laugh made Lena nauseous, but she standed high.
her body was hot and numb. her black pants were full of slashs.The blood loss was making her weaker at each second.
She eyed the Kryptonite before her. Those probably were her last moments; She won’t risk Kara’s life for hers. Never.
She felt the man turn her around; the only place her shirt was white was her back.
Something told her it wouldn’t be for so long.
“ You are so loyal to Supergirl aren’t you? I wonder if she is as loyal to you too.” Lena swallowed hard, keeping her answer inside. “ How foolish you are, protecting her like this. I wonder if she would protect you too,you know, if she was in the same situation. “
She felt the knife dig deeper on her skin. Deeper than the ones before. The cuts were larher too. She found herself screaming due to the pain. The other ones she managed to muffle the noise, but now… now it was borderline impossible. She felt a form taking place by the cuts. One, two, three, four, five and six. The seventh he didn’t make it as a line. No. The motherfucker needed to slice the bloody knife to form something. Tears were escaping and she couldn't stop them. A cry left her bloodied lips and anger just grew inside.
“You see, since your loyalty seems to lay with the supers, you wouldn’t mind having their symbol carved on your back, would you? “
Back stinging and eyes widened, she felt a part from the middle of her shirt fall to the ground. And the left was the draw that the man made on her. She could only imagine what it must look like, though she was sure -- as the sun appears every morning in National City's sky-- that on her back, carved by a blade, was the symbol of the house of El. Covered by her blood. Her filthy Luthor blood.
A profanity -- a Luthor wearing the crest of a super. She wondered if Kara would ever forgive her for this. Perhaps not. But it was Kara, sweet and undeniably good Kara. She would understand. God, she didn't even know she could be this self deprecated.
Now, facing her torturer again, tears strimming her face, she sighed. She was furious, anger as clear as any other kind of wrath crawled on her skin, but at the same time she was lenient to accept everything that would come for her.
Her body may ache, every single part of her may feel as if it was set on fire, and she may be bleeding to death, but she wouldn’t call Kara.
Afterall, she knew she would die sooner or later. And if it was to save the woman who owns her heart, so be it.
“ You are really stubborn aren’t you? “
A smile graced her lips and another blow followed.
------
As she opened the door, her sister could be seen on the other side of the threshold. Red hair tossed back , leather jacket and hands full of food.
“ Can I come in? “ An eyebrow raised mockingly caused a roll of kara’s eyes.
Not much after, they settled on the couch and Alex knew that she needed to touch the subject now.
“ So, did you talk to Willian? “
“ Yep, I did. In the end we decided it was better staying as friends.” Kara said, with her mouth full of food.
“ I’m happy that you talked.”
“ Yeah, me too. “ She said. “ Kind of lifted a weight off me. “
“ I imagine…” Alex was feeling a bit guilty since she was one of the ones that pushed Kara to go out with the reporter. She should have known better sooner. The battle against Leviathan was quite revealing, the way that Kara couldn’t take her eyes off Lena, despite how angry she was.
So…” She trailed off while fussing with her chinese food.
Kara arched an eyebrow questionly.
“ How are things with, you know… Lena?”
A question, soft like the wind in a midnight walk; like the moon that sets itself in the night sky. Like the one tonight, that they can see through the blonde’s window. A soft sigh left Kara’s mouth. She sets the take out on the small desk in front of her. Undoubtedly unusual, but her stomach isn’t arguing with herself for food today or most days. She fixes her glasses, left hand touching and fuzzing with the hem of her sweater.
She wished she could tell Alex everything she was feeling. But she held for so long that it became nature. Since the first time she saw that dark-haired woman inside her office, a red smirk plastered on her face, she felt things that she thought were impossible. But she held it. She held it inside and protected it as something dear. Something untouchable. She didn’t quite ignore it. No. She was so aware that it was painful. However, she couldn’t let her feelings have the best of her. Because she knew she couldn’t have Lena. Not how she wanted her,
“She’s… I don’t know, not really. “ her voice was filled with pain and sorrow when she spoke.
“ Do you want to?
Alex saw her sister’s eyes fill with unshed tears, her blue bright ocean eyes were dimmed and a faraway look plastered onto them. Her dear sister was undeniably heart broken. She saw her trying to pick up the pieces before anyone saw but they didn’t stop falling, didn’t stop breaking.
“ More than anything.” She cracked out.
“ So, What are you waiting for?” Two blue eyes snapped at her as if Alex had lost one had. The disbelief was obvious on Kara's face.
“ Humn??”
“ Don’t humn me.” Alex rolled her eyes. and gestured with her hands. Hell with being subtle. “ She finally forgave you!! Okay, I know she did some deep shit but she helped us. And I know she hurt you, deeply. But she was able to see your side of things, perhaps you should try to see hers too”. Alex ended, soft though stern eyes.
And Kara… Kara was stunned. She never thought she would hear her sister say those words.
“ I mean, I’m not saying you should forgive her right away.” She softly stated, nugging kara with her foot. “ But you both need to talk. Really talk.”
The pointed look almost traveled by Kara’s soul.
Kara sighed and ran a hand through her straw blonde hair. Every word her sister said was heard by her, and she knew that they were true. They needed to talk, but Kara, Kara was a coward. She feared how it would go but craved for it at the same time.
“ I--....” she averted her gaze and spoke quietly. “ I- I forgave her. you know? “
That got Alex attention.
“Did you? “
“ uhumn. “ She nodded, eyes still tainted with tears. “ They were more of an excuse, so I could be mad at her.”
At her sister’s questioning gaze, sighed deeply.
“ So I could turn the pain into anger.” Hand raised to clutch at her chest. Shirt almost ripped, begging to be released by those strong fingers that held it. Her heart was begging too. Begging for quietness, for peace, for love. And it kept doing so every day, every minute. Begging, asking, screaming for that soft smell of coffee by clinging tightly and sniffling into soft dark hair, where she could release on lightness.
“ So I could stop hurting, and…perhaps, if I tried hard enough…I could stop feeling. “
Alex’s heart ached for Kara’s pain. She wished she could stop it and help her to get better. Although she knew it wasn’t possible, she still wanted to. She could see, sometimes, the echo of Kara’s pain through her eyes. She tried to hide it by her sunshine personality, but Alex knew better. She could discern the majority of her moods, though there was a part that her sister had hidden from everyone. That lonely and scared part that she didn’t dare a soul to touch. Hence, she knew, the best that she could do was to support her and help her pick up the pieces if necessary. That she could do.
“ Oh, honey.” She couldn't stop herself, so she threw her arms around the blonde’s shoulder. Tears of sorrow made contact with her blouse, but she paid no mind.“You know that this will only make everything worse, right? Feelings don’t work like that. I know you are hurt and scared, but it won’t go away if you don’t talk-- truly talk-- instead of screaming at each other. “
A scoff left Kara’s lips from her position on Alex’s neck, causing a small smile to graze on the red-haired face.
“ When have you gotten so wise?” She mumbled.
“Kelly.”
“ Makes sense.” Kara scoffed again and raised her face from the resting place. Her eyes were puffy and red on the edges and her eyes were shining with tears that hadn’t fallen yet.
They stayed in silence for a moment, until Alex asked.
“ What made you fall for her?”
The silence trailed and Alex thought Kara wouldn’t answer.
“It’s hard to explain. “ She sifted on the couch and shifted her gaze to the window. “ I think that… it would be all the little things. The hugs and the smiles, the soft touches that only happened when one of us were feeling brave enough. " Her heart expanded in her chest, just by thinking of those times. Those beautiful old times, when things were easier, simpler. A small smile tugged at her lips and she continued. “It would be all the times that I saved her -- because Rao knows how danger calls for that woman-- and the times she saved me. “
She looked at her sister and saw a look that asked her to continue, and so she did.
“ You know, the first time I met her, she allured me with those eyes that seemed to reach my soul. There, I knew she was different. I just didn’t know how much she would come to mean to me." She softly sighed and gazed at the moon that shone high upon the sky. “ Didn’t fall in love with her due to her goodness. No, I fell for her because she always chose to do good -- to be good-- despite the darkness that kept creeping onto her. And in the end, even though what I did set her over the edge and she couldn’t discern the right and wrong because she was hurt, she came back and fought for what was right once again.”
Amazement crashed over Alex, she never thought her sister would put her love so well onto words, but she did. A part of Alex felt that it was just the beginning of Kara’s adoration for Lena; just the tip of an iceberg that went down toward the immensity of the ocean.
“you know, I think you should go see her.”
“humn? “ Alex stared at her sister as if she had a second head, again.
“ yep” She nodded at herself . “ You should go there, and at least to say something. You don’t need to open yourself up, just tell her that you are willing to talk and see where things go. “
Fear took over Kara, but she yearned so much for Lena. She just wanted to see her and hold her. Her heart clenched and before she could think much, she nodded.
“ I- I think I will. “ She raised from the couch and gazed at her sister. “ Will you be alright? “
“ Yep. “ And with that, she changed clothes and she flew into the night sky the fastest she could.
She really, really just wanted to see lena.
So she flew and she let her hearing pick onto Lena’s heart beat, that steady hum, that calmed her on the darkest nights. But tonight, it wasn't what she found.
That soft tumb… tumb… tumb had gathered at a frantic pace. It wasn’t steady, no, it was beating so undeniably fast for her not to notice before.
She needed to get there fast, she needed to see what was happening to Lena. If her sweet Lena was hurt, she… she didn’t know she would ever forgive herself. Guilt crept into her chest as she flew. The noises of the city seemed to disappear and the only thing she could hear was Lena.
When she arrived at her penthouse, she stopped right above and she dared to use her X-ray vision. She gasped. Guilt and pain rose and twisted her inside out. But together with those emotions, a dark thing that for long she suppressed, came to live again. Her jaw clenched and her muscles contracted, the wrath that resided within her would not be locked anymore. Not after this. Not after seeing the woman she loved hanged by her bloodied wrists by a rope. not after seeing the woman that made her belong full of blood that dripped from the cuts made on her perfect pale skin.
She saw the green of kryptonite lighting the room. They were there for her. They hurt Lena to get to her. She felt a bit of nausea but,oh, she couldn’t care less. She would save Lena and be damned that fucking rock.
Shattered glass fell behind her as she landed inside the living room. The three men looked at her with surprise followed by a satisfied smile, but she paid them no mind. Deep green eyes stared at her, relief became fear in Lena’s eyes and a warning to go away.
Lena was afraid of what may happen to Kara. She shouldn’t have come, she should have left Lena to die.
Kara ignored the pointless warning and instead, focused on the deep cut on her cheek.
HOW DARE THEM?
She felt her blood boil and a growl left her mouth. As one of the men tried to speak, she advanced and with one hand she grabbed his face and buried it on the ground. She raised slowly, her cape hanging behind her -- in its red esplendor-- carried now the same color of her right hand. Her eyes burned and she knew it was no more blue; her heat vision had been activated. She felt her blood run wild inside her veins as the sickening feeling of the kryptonite pierced her skin. One of the men shot her.
Lena gasped.
Kara growled.
The pain was excruciating, but the fact that her Lena was suffering -- suffered from those people-- was enough to keep her moving. Was enough for her to want to kill them. And so she did.
She advanced again. She felt another shot on her shoulder before she grabbed the gun and crushed it with her hands. Then, she kicked his stomach and elbowed his neck, sending him to the ground.
Two were gone. One more to go.
The last one, she punched and punched, over and over again. Her wrath seemed to never go away. How dare they do this to Lena? Her mind was clouded by anger, but the voice of the woman behind her made her stop.
She turned around and saw her.
She saw her love that could never be truly hers.
Their eyes locked. Lena’s hard gaze softens, happy and relieved to see Kara.
A tear escaped her eyes.
The blonde hero approached slowly, seeing the dark haired woman covered in bruises from so close broke her heart all over again
A warm hand found its place on the pale cheek, running a thumb over the cut on the brunette’s cheek. Lena relaxed immediately, letting her eyes close for a second and leaning on Kara’s hand.
“ Kara…” She softly said, though with a hoarse voice, locking her gaze once again with ocean eyes.
“ Lena… My sweet Lena, What have they done to you? “ More tears escaped Kara’s eyes and Lena’s heart fluttered for a moment for what the blonde had said. Lena tried to speak, but the blood loss made her weak, too weak. The blonde realised and ended her attempts to talk. “Shush, It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m gonna help you, I’m gonna take you out of here. “
And so she did.
She untied the rope and broke the chains. With the woman now in her arms, she clenched her firmly on her chest and flew through the windows she had broken towards a hospital.
The first touch of kara’s fingers on her cheek left her at ease and now, in her hero’s arms, she knew she could rest for a bit. So she closed her eyes and felt her conscience slipping away.
As she entered the hospital, Kara was frantic. The tears in her eyes hadn’t stopped falling.
She didn’t care for all the stare people were sending her way. She just wanted Lena to be safe.
She rushed to the first nurse she saw -- a dark petite woman with curly hair and gentle eyes-- and pleaded.
“ Ma'am please, help me ! She was tortured and I -- I found her but I don’t know what to do!! Please help her." She said through tears. The other woman was stunned to see National City's hero crying with a bloody woman in her arms, but she quickly composed herself and hushed to help.
After that, things happened fast: Lena was put in a stretcher and two nurses led her to be examined. Kara wanted to follow but she had to fill a formulary about the dark haired woman. When the nurse, a middle aged man, asked the name of the paciente, she said: “ Lena Luthor. “
The man’s eyes seemed to widen and she hoped a threat wasn’t needed for them to treat her friend. The man thankfully said nothing and after answering all the questions, she followed where Lena was.
And there she stayed, waiting and waiting. She felt the pain of that green damn stone tug at her being. But it didn’t matter, she needed to be here for Lena. At least the kryptonite bullets passed through her, she can already feel herself healing.
Then, she decided to call Alex before she forgot it. Although late, her sister answered in the first ring.
“ Kara?”
“ A-Alex.” Her voice cracked and her sister noticed.
“ What happened??”
“ It’s-- It’s Lena, we are at the hospital.” Alex noticed the distress tone coming from Kara, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to fully explain tonight’s events.
" What?! Okay, okay, I’m going there and then we talk. send me the coordinates. "
---
She knew she shouldn’t be here as Supergirl, but she could care less. She felt nothing but a falling hero; walking between distress and sorrow, with nothing but a bloodied suit. but yet she knew She had to change clothes, otherwise it would only raise questions about her presence at the hospital.
However, she didn’t want to leave Lena, not even for a second.
When she saw that same nurse as before, that one with kind eyes, she made a decision.
"Hey Ma'am, excuse me! " She softly said. The nurse’s brown eyes found hers, surprise written on them.
She approached the broken hero and asked.
“ What can I do for you, Supergirl? "
Kara scanned the corridor that she was in, making sure no one was listening.
" Could you, humn, lend me some clothes? It’s just, I promise I will wash them later and give you back. I just can't leave her, please. "
The hero sounded beyond sad and was there when the nurse saw that she was no more than another woman, as many that wander this earth.
The woman nodded and asked Kara to follow her. They found themselves in the locker room pretty quickly and the woman gave her a pair of jeans and oversized t-shirt. Tears gathered in her eyes again, she was glad that this nurse was helping her, so, so glad.
“They may be a bit big , but they are quite comfy. " The woman’s easy smile calmed Kara, who quickly scanned the clothes.
“Thank you, I-- thank you. "
“ No problem, do you need me to go so you can change? " the woman asked.
“ oh, no.” Kara said quickly and used her super speed to change. Suddenly, there was no hero standing in front of her, just a young woman, with blue and emotional eyes, black sweatpants and a light yellow sweater.
Kara smiled sheepishly, and realised something was missing. She saw her right boot on the floor and inside a hidden compartment, she caught her glasses. Pushing them on her face, she looked at the woman again.
“ Thank you. “ She fidgets with her fingers. “ You helped me and I don’t know your name. “
“It’s Ana. “ the middle aged woman said. Although she definitely was surprised to see the national city’s hero in human clothes, she didn’t show it.
The hero raised her hands for the other woman to shake it. “ I’m Kara, Kara Zor-EL.”
“ It's nice to meet the name behind the hero. “ She said, while she shook Kara’s hand. "She must be truly special, seeing you are revealing yourself for me just to be kept by her side. " Ana’s eyes were full of understandment.
“ She is everything. “
---
“ Everything is gonna be okay Kara.” Alex said while she tried to comfort her sister in a hug. Hands scratched her back, trying to relieve some tension.
She felt Kara shudder, another sob running through her.
“ I--I… It’s my fault Alex!! If-- if I had come to her sooner… Oh god." she buried her face on her sister’s neck, letting the tears flow.
“ No, It wasn’t, you couldn’t have known… "
“ but--”
“Shush! No buts.” Alex sternly said.
Before she could retort, footsteps were heard behind Kara and a recognisable voice ring on their ears.
“ Miss Zor-El? "
Chocolate skin and eyes came into view when Kara turned from the embrace.
“ Ana. “ The hero’s eyes were begging for some news, the shine of tears remained since she first saw her hours ago.
She saw her sister raise an eyebrow at the name from her periphery vision.
They were there for what felt like an eternity. The smell of sanitizer that the hospital carried was starting to get Kara dizzy with worry and dark thoughts. Well, darker thoughts. Everything felt dull, hollow. A part of Kara was missing, shattered, broken. And she just wanted to see Lena. To know anything, everything.
“ How is she? “
“ She is stable now.” The gentle smile let Kara at ease a bit. “ You can come to see her.”