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Leonard was about to make a nervous joke about how long that transporter beam took and whether Scotty was in his sickbay with heart failure when he first saw Spock’s full, beautiful beard and hair long enough to cover his ears. He was also going to ask if Spock needed a checkup considering his new look, but when the Vulcan officer, who was clearly not his Spock, pulled out a phaser that was clearly not set to stun and murdered the lieutenant at the transporter controls, he stopped thinking of jokes and stuck with nervous. Leonard had to bite down the urge to react, and Jim must have noticed, judging by the sharp look thrown at him. Jim was in captain mode, red alert.
“Captain, you are expected on-screen with Admiral Pike in two-point-four minutes. I will have the ensigns clean up this mess, and Lieutenant Commander Scott will see to it that the transporter delay does not occur again.” Spock’s parade rest was less rest and more arrest, and as Leonard’s eyes drifted over him, it finally dawned on him that this stranger in his friend’s skin was wearing an entirely different uniform, complete with a knife at his hip. Leonard swallowed, although it was not as hard as he wanted to. At least Jim was still his Jim, but that didn’t mean any of the others on the transporter pad, or even on the ship, were with them. And then Jim was leaving him and everyone else, walking stiffer and stepping over a dead body like it didn’t even matter.
“Are you well, Dr. McCoy?” Spock asked and tilted his head to the side, more human-like than normal. Everything about this Spock was not normal.
Leonard cleared his throat and nodded. “Just, ah, well, you know how I dislike the damn transporters.”
Spock’s eyes narrowed, but not enough to freak Leonard entirely out. “Indeed. I apologize for not allowing you the pleasure of torturing the lieutenant, but you are also wanted in surgery. Immediately.” That sentence was so callously stated that it simultaneously boiled and froze the blood in Leonard’s veins. If his counterpart—still a doctor—was like that, what was Spock like? What was their Jim like? “Ensuring the life of this ambassador is of the utmost importance, Doctor. Your displeasure with me can wait, his life cannot.”
“Right.” Leonard hoped his eyes weren’t spinning like his brain was as he tried to come up with the correct way to respond while still getting his bearings. “But last I checked, I’m the doctor here. If I think I need a minute to steady myself and my hands , I’m gonna take that minute. I trust my team to handle it without me for a goddamn minute . They know what’s at stake if they can’t.”
“Of course, Doctor.” Spock turned to Scotty, and before he could even open his mouth, his friend—who was very clearly his friend, he had to be—was already on his way to the transporter controls. “You will not leave your post until the transporter station is functioning adequately, Lieutenant Commander. See to it that the person or persons who last maintained the device or devices that prove to be at fault are sent to the agonizer.” Holy mother of God, what is an agonizer?! Spock turned to Uhura, and Leonard felt like leaping. “Lieutenant Commander, you are to return to the bridge and await further orders.”
Leonard left immediately after Uhura and before he got himself into any trouble. And he, too, walked over the dead body like nothing had happened.
—
The surgery went off without a hitch, although Christine was awfully moody, and her cool professionalism damn near gave him frostbite. M’Benga was also aloof, and both of them seemed to fear him, almost to the point of their hands flinching when they were supposed to be holding important bits together. Anytime Leonard cursed, there was tension. His counterpart must be a horrible person, and it made him sick to think about it. Once the surgery was over, he cleaned up his share—presumably what his counterpart would do—and left the rest to the attendants. God, he felt disgusting, and hopefully there was something alcoholic waiting for him in that monster’s desk drawer. But first, a sonic.
Leonard managed to swing himself a personal bathroom in his office back home on his Enterprise after the remodel in Yorktown, and sure enough, so did this universe’s Dr. McCoy. He took off his uniform, flung it near the hamper, and made a beeline for the bathroom. If he was sure that he wouldn’t risk death by doing it, he’d have definitely opted for a water shower, but who knows. This crew might be a bunch of space pirates, and water was already a hot commodity in their universe, but how was water misuse treated here? No, a sonic would be just fine. Well, as long as Leonard turned it up and got a good massage out of it, anyway.
No more than two minutes went by before Leonard heard the computer announce Spock’s entry, and just a few steps later, the doors to his office bathroom swished open. Leonard's heart leaped into his throat when Spock turned off the privacy shield to the shower and pinned him with that more-human-than-normal gaze. But no, he couldn’t panic. Leonard had to be firm and fearsome. Although how much damage could he actually do? It’s not like he had a hypo, and Spock could fling him across the room with his pinkie if he really wanted. Leonard settled with a gruff “What do you want?”
“To apologize properly for earlier. Do you wish it to be here or at your desk?” Spock was tense. His jaw, his posture, his slightly squinty eyes. All were doing bad things to Leonard. His lips were also, presumably, tense, but he didn’t want to risk looking at—fuck, he looked at them. And then Spock stepped into the shower stall, in full uniform, dropped to his knees, and put a black-gloved hand on Leonard’s right hip.
Leonard had never in a million years ever fantasized about Spock dropping to his knees like that for him. Spock and Uhura were engaged and monogamous, and Spock was one of his best friends. But this Spock? This Spock was not his Spock, and damn if that beard didn’t do something funny to his insides. However, as much as this wasn’t his Spock, he was not this Spock’s McCoy. Leonard might value his life above a lot of things, but there were two things he absolutely would not do to save his skin or anyone else’s: rape or murder. “Stop, Spock.”
Spock flinched and looked up, removing his hands. “Did I infer your gaze to my lips incorrectly? Do you prefer the apology to be at your desk?”
Leonard turned around slowly, cautiously, and turned off the sonics. When he turned back, Spock was still on his knees, and if a Spock from any universe would ever admit to feeling something, it was probably uncomfortable. Leonard let his hands drift slowly outward, palms forward, as he sighed and dropped to his own knees, not breaking eye contact with Spock. This was probably where he died, but at least his conscience would be clear. “I’m not your Dr. McCoy. I’m not go—” Spock immediately pinned him to the wall by his throat, his head barely missing the sonic control panel.
Thank God for combat training. Leonard knew that struggling was bad, and he also hoped to God that there was some of his Spock in this Spock. He went as limp as he could convince his body to go and tapped on Spock’s hands gently rather than attempting to pull them off. Spock, to his relief, eased up but did not release him. He hissed out a command that was drowned out by the ringing in Leonard’s ears, but he knew what he was being told to do. “I ferget how strong you are, Jesus.” The hand on his throat closed again for a tense second. “Sorry. It’d probably be easier if you take off your gloves. I ain’t gonna lie to you, but you ain’t gonna believe me unless you can read me.”
“That is quite possibly the wisest and the most unintelligent request, Doctor. I am impressed,” Spock said coolly. He eased his grip more but, unfortunately, also invaded Leonard’s space as he made a show of taking off his left glove with his teeth.
“Kinda surprised you didn’t spout off a ratio to the hundredth decimal place to tell me how much of each I am.” Leonard went to shrug, but Spock tightened his grip. “Back where I’m from, we have a playfully antagonistic relationship. Keep each other on our toes, but not...in whatever the hell way you do with your McCoy.”
“Your counterpart is a monster, and our relationship,” Spock spat the last word with such malice that it made Leonard’s skin crawl, “is entirely antagonistic.”
“I wouldn’t call shower and desk blow jobs antagonistic.” Leonard’s attempt at lightening the mood did not go over well. Spock rose to his feet and dragged Leonard with him, barely allowing his feet to get under him before the Vulcan returned to the main office to fling him on the cot he kept in there.
“Would you care to restate your hypothesis, or do you wish to explore my counterargument?” Spock splayed his ungloved hand on Leonard’s chest and pinned him to the cot, his other hand on the zipper of his uniform pants.
“Woah, woah, OK, slow down.” Leonard was on the verge of hyperventilating as he came to the slow realization of just how monstrous his counterpart was. “He… That was… That wasn’t a game? He makes you do that against your will?” Leonard closed his eyes and tried to fight back the bile and tears that both threatened to come up. Only neither one did because Spock was doing something, pressing a pressure point here, another point there, and soon he felt remarkably calm. “What did you just do?”
“Vulcan neuropressure.” Spock withdrew his hand and stood up to grab one of the blankets stored on the small shelf in the cot’s cubby. “You are, indeed, not a threat, and I did not wish to have bodily fluids expelled onto me if there is no threat to my life and livelihood if I refuse.”
Leonard was amazed that he didn’t outright vomit at that statement, and he was even more amazed when Spock draped the blanket over him. Which was probably a good thing since he was too damn scared to move. “So the other me… Tortures, rapes, and I’m assuming he also murders?” Spock nodded. “An’ what about you?”
“I do what keeps me alive, though I take no pleasure in it. Taking a life that would inevitably be lost to torture is mercy.”
“You’re a good man no matter what universe you’re in. Wish I could have been able to say the same about myself.” Leonard sighed and thought about Spock’s counterpart from the future, wondering if this Spock had that. He knew how much Spock found comfort in knowing how great of a man he would become. Did this Spock have that same comfort? “Was there ever another you in this universe?”
“Negative. While the Empire isn’t known for its transparency, contact with another universe would undoubtedly be shared as a victory, and the Enterprise would have been sent forth to conquer.” Leonard shivered at the thought. “Are you not warm enough?”
“No, just, that thought… It’s damn terrifying. Our universe isn’t about that at all. We’re a Federation, not an empire.” Leonard contemplated for a few moments about how he wanted to tell the story, or at least how he knew it, but they didn’t have the time. He knew his counterpart and the others would be found immediately, and their Spock would be trying to right that wrong, and this Spock also needed to be working on getting them back to their rightful universes. There was only one way to do it, even if he didn’t like it. Leonard sat up and pointed to his temple. “You should do one of those mind-meld things. Jim said that your counterpart’s counterpart from the future—you’ll know as much as I know when you get in my head—did that to speed up the information transfer process.”
Spock lifted an eyebrow, and it was the first time the two Spocks aligned. “You are willingly giving your consent to a mind-meld?”
“Yeah, it’s faster, and it’s the only way you’ll truly be able to trust anything. Not that I blame you, this universe sounds as peachy as a pig farm on a hot summer day.” Spock’s lips quirked at that, and Leonard counted it as a win, so he smiled back. “Just be gentle ‘cause I’ve never done this before.”
“To be frank, I have never given a consensual mind-meld before.”
“Duly noted, still trust ya to do it perfectly because even though you’re not my Spock, you’re still a Spock, and all y’all are damn perfectionists.”
—
After Spock got all the information he wanted from Leonard, he taught him how to fit in for the remainder of his time in this universe. Although Leonard didn’t like it, he was appreciative of it, and it helped that Spock gave him his consent to be mistreated in public. It allowed Leonard to focus on one person who consented instead of spreading it around. It also allowed them to have more alone time without looking suspicious, and all they had to do was make it until Jim was out of his meeting with Pike, which apparently was a several-hour-long affair. They waited in McCoy’s quarters, with Leonard pacing back and forth like a caged animal. “What if they catch him, Spock?”
“While our captains may be different in tactics, they are surely not different in fortitude and intelligence. Your captain will be fine, and there is a seventy-eight-point-three-three-seven chance that he will enjoy it.” Spock actually smirked, and that made Leonard all the more curious.
Leonard stopped pacing and jogged over to Spock, who was sitting at a table playing three-dimensional chess with himself. “You don’t get to make a statement like that and just stop, Spock. Out with it! Why would he enjoy talking with the brass? Especially one he saw as a father figure who ended up dying in his arms, who is now probably as lethal as this universe’s Jim?”
“Your counterpart’s treatment of me is not uncommon, though it is typically only done through the chain of command,” Spock said as he moved a black piece and took off of a white piece. Leonard never did care to learn the game.
“That doesn’t exactly make me feel better, Spock.”
“Admiral Pike will be requesting that the captain put on a show for him.”
“Oh, gross, that’s like...father and son right there.” Leonard grimaced and plopped down on the seat across from Spock.
“Your captain is comfortable in his sexuality and will likely enjoy the free expression of it, albeit with dubious consent.” Spock made another move and took another piece off the board. “My captain is not, and he takes out his frustrations on your counterpart, rather than myself, who then finds me. It is an unpleasant cycle that I wish would end.”
Leonard crossed his arms and looked away. “I’m sorry you have to look at me, see his face on someone who’s not him.”
“I am intelligent enough to separate the two of you, Leonard . Do you see my counterpart when you look at me?”
“Uh, no,” Leonard blushed and looked the other way, still avoiding Spock. Leonard heard a piece tipping over and Spock getting out of the chair, but he still wasn’t going to look. He couldn’t look. Leonard was too hyped up on fight or flight that the other f-word was starting to dominate. This Spock was just so… This Spock had all the same qualities he loved about his Spock, only he was available. And had a beard. And had that bad boy thing Leonard never managed to grow out of favoring.
“What do you see, Leonard?” Spock yanked Leonard's chair back, moved to stand in front of him, and placed his hands on either side of the high back, effectively trapping him. The knee Spock shoved between his thighs and edging closer to his problem did trap him. “I will not tolerate lying.”
Leonard cursed under his breath but managed to suck up enough courage to look Spock in the eye. “I see a very attractive man who is very dangerous, and my dumbass brain is thinkin’ thoughts that’ll get me in trouble.” Spock’s knee made contact, and he swatted at it. “No, no , bad idea!”
“Your captain is likely enjoying his time here, and Lieutenant Uhura and Lieutenant Commander Scot are, for the most part, excelling in this competitive environment. Do you not believe that you deserve to take advantage of this break away from your… safe universe? Make decisions that you would not normally make?” Spock removed his knee and instead straddled Leonard’s thighs, his right hand leaving the chair to fist in Leonard's hair and yank his head back. “I saw your mind, Leonard. You want this as much as I do.”
“Yeah, of course, I do, but that don’t mean I’m gonna do it!” Leonard winced, but not from the strain on his neck. Instead, it was his not so little friend down south causing the discomfort. He hasn’t been this hard in at least a decade, if not more. “I’m not the wham bam thank you ma’am type, an’ you know it.”
“I am not a ma’am, Leonard.” Spock pulled Leonard’s head to the side and started biting at his neck.
“Pedantic ass.”
“Would you like to take it?”
Leonard finally managed to order his hands to cooperate, and he placed them on Spock’s hips, pushing them away—not that it did much. “Hold your horses. First off, I know damn well that that ain’t pleasurable for Vulcans. I know how your anatomy works.”
Spock tensed above Leonard, and his grips on both the chair and Leonard’s hair tightened. “How are you aware of this?”
“You had my entire damn life at your fingertips, literally, and you didn’t just download everything? What in the Sam Hill did you take?” Leonard groaned when he felt another tug, which was probably supposed to spur him to talk more, but it only made him harder. “After Vulcan was destroyed, Vulcans became more open about their sexual habits and reproduction to help preserve the safety of their species. Considering your counterpart and Uhura are gettin’ hitched soon with no intentions of leaving the Enterprise, I got Vulcan sex ed.”
Spock’s face went blank, but his eyes showed pain. His hands dropped from Leonard, and he immediately got off of him, backing up so fast that he knocked the table clear over and sent chess pieces scattering. “W-what? What happened to Vulcan?! What happened to my people , Leonard?!”
It didn’t even occur to Leonard that the Vulcan of this universe wasn’t destroyed until now. Although Spock did say that there were no other Spocks, it didn’t register as important. He sighed and stood up, which caused his new old friend to take another step back. “C’mon, let’s get comfy somewhere and do the mind-meld thing again.”
“Why do you so willingly open yourself up to such an invasion, Leonard?”
Leonard scratched his chin, wandered over to the couch, and sat down, patting the seat next to him. “I don’t know any Starfleet secrets, just my own secrets, an’ it ain’t like you’re gonna be able to use them against me when you and the other Spock inevitably figure out how to get us all in the right places. Chances are, we’ll never see each other ever again after I go back.” Spock moved to stand by the couch but did not sit, so Leonard took his hand to guide him down. He didn’t let go. “Besides, if in the off chance we’re star crossed lovers an’ you find a safe way to get yer ass out of this hell hole and into my universe, we can skip the awkward first dates.”
“I do not know if I am capable of being what you refer to as a ‘lover,’ Leonard.”
Leonard shrugged. “Then we’d redefine it, if—and this is a big damn if—it comes to that. But, ah, before we do the meld thing. I don’t… I don’t know if you were, or are, as close to your mother in this universe as the other Spock was in his, but… We weren’t able to save his momma from Vulcan’s destruction. I’m sorry.”
Spock looked tense enough to snap, and Leonard nervously started massaging the hand he was still holding. It was probably an overtly sexual move in his universe’s Vulcan culture, but how was it in this universe’s? Whatever, if it helped calm Spock down, it was worth it. “You know this is a sexual act for me, yet you continue. Why?”
“Does it make you feel better?”
“It does.”
“Then it’s doin’ what I wanted it to.”
“Your care is unnecessary, Leonard.”
“If you only receive care when it’s necessary, how do you know when people actually like bein’ around ya?” Spock didn’t say anything, but he did relax his posture before he yanked Leonard down by his collar with his free hand. “Woah, woah, woah, just ‘cause I’m down for a Vulcan handy doesn’t mean I’m—”
“Lay down,” Spock demanded.
Leonard reluctantly let go of the hand he was holding and rolled to his side, head facing the room. The couch wasn’t all that large, and he had to curl up with his feet hanging off the arm, but he managed to pillow his head on Spock’s lap and be comfortable. Once he was settled, Spock slid a hand under Leonard’s arm and up his chest. Didn’t take Leonard more than a second to instinctively grab at it with his own and return to the slow and steady massage. He was a surgeon, and he knew how hands worked. Leonard knew how to massage his own, and he was even better at massaging others’.
Spock was quiet for a while, but judging by the increased heart rate and breathing rate, he wasn’t immune to what Leonard was doing. However, the moment Leonard felt smug, Spock pulled at his hair to bring him back down. “I am still quite perplexed about the differences between our universes. Particularly with the fact that my counterpart has a mate, and it is not kept secret.”
“This universe sounds so goddamn lonely, Spock. How do you deal with it?”
“I survive. It is all that I can do.”
“You would have no problem whatsoever trying to find someone in my universe who’d want to be your mate and be open about it. You’d probably have to get integration support and rehabilitation, but you ain’t half bad, all things considered.”
“You talk entirely too much, Leonard. You would die within the week if you remained here.” Spock pushed Leonard’s jaw shut with his palm and traced his fingertips around Leonard's probably chapped, probably extremely unsexy-at-the-moment lips. “You think entirely too much, as well.” He moved his palm away, and when Leonard stretched his jaw, he took advantage and inserted his fingers. “Do keep in mind that you started this.”
Not being one to back down from a challenge, Leonard muttered a muffled “Relax, dammit!” and started maneuvering Spock’s hand himself. It was the weirdest handjob slash blowjob he’s ever done, but it wasn’t as unsexy as he initially thought it would be. Hell, whether it was Spock’s feelings transferring to him or not, he was actually pretty turned on by it. He alternated between sucking hard from the base to gently nipping then blowing on the tips. Definitely couldn't do that to dicks, especially Vulcan ones.
“You adapt quickly, Leonard. To this, at least.” Spock made a noise Leonard had never heard before, a mix of a purr and a growl that resonated. “With training, you would make an excellent pleasure slave.”
Leonard took offense and bit hard enough to cause Spock to withdraw and slap him. “Dammit, Spock!” He rubbed at his cheek, which was probably an angry red, but he tried to keep his temper in check. This Spock had a different kind of normal; he couldn’t measure him by the same meterstick. “You’d make a damn fine dom with training, and maybe if we were in my universe where pleasure slaves are, in the federation at least, paid well and consenting, I’d be into that kinda talk, but not here. Not in your universe, I’m sorry.”
“My… apologies.” Spock placed the back of his hand against Leonard’s cheek, calming the sting with his colder skin. “I am unfamiliar with the practices of your universe. I only know the ones from my own.”
“It’s not exactly fine, but it’s fine enough, Spock. Just… Ease up. The world might be out to get to you, but I’m not.” Leonard rolled over onto his back and stared up into Spock’s beautiful brown eyes that were more human than he ever remembered seeing in the other Spock. He also realized he stopped referring to that Spock as his Spock somewhere along the way. Leonard had a tendency to fall and fall hard immediately, and deep down in his mushy pre-brutal divorce heart, he believed in love at first sight. He reached up and tugged gently on Spock’s beard. “You ever been kissed nicely?”
“Niceties lead to death and destruction.”
“Well then, if yer too afraid to give it a try—” Spock stroked Leonard’s cheek softly and leaned down close, but not all the way. Leonard met him the rest of the way and curled a hand around the back of his neck, holding on. It was tender, chaste, and sweet, like a first kiss should be. And he meant first first, not just for them. It was one part awkward for every two parts of sweetness, but it was the best first kiss Leonard had ever had. He felt it in his toes, his knees, his head, and his chest. It was exhilarating.
And of course, Jim picked that time to walk in on them.
Spock dropped the sweet and went back to manhandling, pulling and shoving Leonard behind him as he reached for a knife that was hiding in the couch. Leonard grabbed him by the back of his uniform with one hand and wagged a finger at Jim. “Could you fuckin’ knock for once in your goddamn life, Jim?!”
“You are here… Making out with this imposter Spock who murdered someone in front of us .” Jim’s disgust was evident in his tone and facial expressions, and it only got worse when he saw the toppled table and chessboard and pieces. “If you didn’t consent to this Bones, I’m going to kill him right here, right now. I don’t care who he looks like.”
“Dammit, Jim, I consented, an’ was having a pretty good time in this godforsaken place while waitin’ for you to finish up with your meeting so we can all talk and get outta here!” Leonard shot back.
Jim and Spock had the same sort of eye-contact mental battle that they were known for back on their Enterprise. “Fine. I, uh, actually didn’t mind my meeting with Pike. How are the others?”
“They are acclimating. Their counterparts, much like Leonard’s, are not to be crossed, and thus they are also protected. So long as they remain favored by your counterpart.” Spock returned to his seat on the couch and put a possessive arm around Leonard. “You said that you enjoyed your meeting with the admiral while criticizing Leonard’s involvement with myself. While you have not witnessed Admiral Pike’s violence first hand, he’s committed even more atrocities than your counterpart.”
“Guys, this isn’t time for tit for tatting. Jim, you as captain need to get a meeting going between you, Spock, and Scotty so y’all can figure a way outta here. I’ll call Uhura down for a physical and fill her in.” Spock’s grip tightened, and Leonard turned to face him directly. “An’ you and Scotty gotta talk logistics so you can also get outta here. You don’t belong here. This isn’t the life you deserve, and you aren’t a monster like mine and Jim’s counterparts.”
“Whether or not one deserves anything in life is an illogical means of measuring worth. I do not belong in your universe any more than I belong in this one.” Spock’s words were harsh, and Leonard wanted to protest but stopped when he felt a hand on his cheek. “However, I will consider it.”
“Have you always had a thing for Spock, Bones?” Jim was still hovering in the entryway to the other McCoy’s quarters. Whenever he moved closer, Spock gripped the knife tighter.
“Dammit, Jim, we don’t have time for that! An’ you know as well as I do that I wouldn’t look twice at anyone who’s in an exclusive relationship.” Leonard crossed his arms with a scowl. “And put down the damn knife, Spock. We need to figure this out, an’ you and Jim here need to be civil. No knives, no barbs.”
While there was still the occasional territorial display from Spock, Jim and Spock ended up getting along. First, it was for Leonard’s sake, and then they actually seemed to get on well with each other. It was similar to the banter Jim had with the other Spock, only it was more… human. Uncouth, in a way, something that Spock’s counterpart would never partake in. After the plan that involved Leonard and Uhura was worked out, they went their separate ways—but not without a bit of marking that Jim, thankfully, left the room for.
“I don’t know if I can do that, Spock. A hickey, sure, but not… not a bite!”
“Yet you are not objecting to it being done to you.”
“No, that’s different. I’ll consent to that, but if the only reason you’re letting me do it to you is so that people think I’ve been fuckin’ brutalizing you for the past few hours… No.” Leonard crossed his arms and turned away. “Bite your damn self.”
Spock pressed up against Leonard from behind and started unzipping his uniform, splaying it to either side. Damn upper back zippers, damn sexy Vulcans making a show of it. “The captain would leave his mark here,” Spock said as he traced an area of his neck between his ear and his undershirt’s collar. “Since you are… consenting , I will leave my mark instead. Is this agreeable?” Leonard barely got a full nod in before he was shoved up against the wall roughly, pressed so hard he couldn’t breathe. He started feeling lightheaded and giddy, both from the oxygen loss and the rush of blood leaving his head, and it was at that moment that Spock bit him. Hard.
Leonard really needed to evaluate how kinky he considered himself and perhaps reevaluate his typical consent form. He thought it’d hurt, and sure it’d probably hurt later, but damn if it didn’t feel right . He groaned and tilted his head to give Spock more room. “Don’t have to be all teeth, y’know.” Spock changed tactics and started sucking more marks into his neck, but it was no less brutal. And without the sharp sting, well, if this kept up, he’d need a change of clothing. He felt like a goddamn teenager.
“If I could guarantee your safety aboard this ship, I would keep you,” Spock murmured into his ear before biting it. “Would you not give yourself willingly to me? Could I take you, just like this?”
Leonard’s breath hitched at the words; they were so possessive. It’d been a long time since he felt wanted, and he’d never felt wanted quite like this. “Come to my universe, get some intense therapy, and when you know you actually want these things and aren’t using them as a coping mechanism, then hell yes.”
Spock did that rumbly purr again, and his chest vibrated against Leonard’s back. “I do not know what this ‘therapy’ consists of, but I will consider it. Now, it is your turn, and we must not delay.” He flipped Leonard around and presented his neck. “I could, perhaps, enjoy this coming from you. You need not break the skin, as your counterpart finds my blood distasteful. Merely leave a bite mark and be done with it. If you do not do so willingly, I will force you.”
“Fine, fine!” Leonard huffed and tugged Spock forward by the uniform and gave him as hard of a bite as he could, as quick as he could. “For the record, I don’t find this sexy.”
Spock invaded his space and pressed him up against the wall again. “It would not do well for your image to leave this room unsatisfied, Leonard.”
“I’d honestly rather put ice down my pants.” Leonard pushed at Spock’s hands and didn’t stop until he relented. “Got any ice? ‘Cause we gotta go.”
“I can alleviate it with a mind-meld. Do you still consent to what you mentioned earlier?” Leonard nodded, and Spock kissed him tenderly before pressing in. “You are to be cherished, Leonard.”
—
All total, from arrival on the pad to Leonard standing on the pad ready to leave, it was thirty-four hours. Thirty-four long hours with no sleep and too much coffee. But it was also not enough time, really. Leonard was in absolute awe of how this Spock’s mind worked. It was like the other Spock but more calculating and ruthless. He did not debate, he demanded. He did not accept any counterargument that did not improve the odds he was constantly updating in that computer brain of his. It wasn’t that the other Spock was bad, but this Spock was different in a way that Leonard was incredibly attracted to. Hell, Joss ruined women for him. Spock might ruin men for him. Thankfully there were plenty of other genders he was attracted to.
Leonard cleared his throat and resisted the urge to wipe at his eyes that were starting to sting. “You be safe now, y’hear?” Spock nodded. “And don’t forget that we’ll find a place for you if you want to come to our side.”
“Or you can stop being a coward and make this universe better,” Jim countered.
Leonard scoffed, “Dammit, Jim, he’s just one man!”
“Your window to leave is closing.” Spock didn’t engage in the argument, but he did step forward to give Leonard a Vulcan kiss, which Uhura eyed with interest. “Be well, Leonard.” He stepped back and nodded toward Jim and Scotty before smiling slightly at Uhura. “Congratulations.” She blushed profusely and mumbled thanks, which left Leonard all sorts of confused, but he guessed it was about her engagement. After one more parting touch to Leonard’s hands, Spock went over to the transporter controls. “Though this means nothing in my universe, I say it with all the intent of yours. Live long and prosper.” And with that, they were gone.
When Leonard opened his eyes, he looked at a very different Spock, and he felt his heart sink to his toes. He immediately left the pad and stalked off to his quarters, ignoring whatever the hell Jim was saying to him. Logically, Leonard understood that he was just put through a traumatic event, and he was likely feeling an unnaturally strong attachment to the person who protected him. But Leonard wasn’t exactly keen on logic all the time, and he knew if this Spock wasn’t attached to Uhura, he’d fall hard. Knowing that there was an unattached Spock, who checked even more boxes—god, that beard and that willingness to show his human side—out there in the multiverse… Well, Leonard wished he didn’t know because now he had a problem.
Jim sent him a message that he ignored, but he knew he’d just be harassed if he didn’t say something. He shot off a quick reply saying that he was tired and going to sleep and left it at that. First, he was going to sleep, then he would reevaluate his place in life, and then he would write his report commending Spock’s actions. If Spock was to ever come to their universe, it would help to have an official account mentioning his efforts to keep them safe at significant personal risk to himself. He’d probably have to twist Jim’s arm to do the same, but hopefully, he’d put his pride aside and do it. For Leonard, at least, but also, hopefully, because Spock was a good man just trying to survive.
Morals aren’t fixed, and they’re not black and white. It was a privilege of being in this universe, at this time, in this part of space, that he could pick and choose what lines he refused to cross. Spock didn’t have that option. He had a game with different rules, and it wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. And it was that thought that finally made him crumble. He curled up under the blankets, not even taking his uniform off—which was his own, with questionable stains on it—and cried. He cried for the murdered lieutenant, he cried for his friends’ counterparts who feared him, he cried for the whole universe that was so godawful, and he cried for Spock.
—
Ten years later, Leonard was being transferred. On the one hand, it was his dream posting. On the other, it was with some unknown captain that had no record he had access to. He scowled as he tossed the PADD at Jim from across the table. “You, of all people, approved this without checking with me? Who is he?”
“Bones, you know you’ve wanted to serve on a medical support ship since you joined the fleet. That’s not my dream, but it is yours. Plus, you’d be able to support the Enterprise whenever we needed you, so it’s not like you’d be serving entirely away from us. From me.” Jim sat back with a shit-eating grin and crossed his arms. “Also, I think you’re really going to like this captain, he has a knack for staying out of trouble.”
Spock shuffled into the meeting room with his and Uhura’s kid, who was nearly ten. Leonard lifted an eyebrow at that, and Spock raised one back in response. “Is there a problem, Doctor?”
“No, just not used to seeing kids at the grownup table when we got a fancy new secret captain coming over.” Leonard heard his PADD beep with an incoming message, which Jim read. It only made his grin wider, which made Leonard want to punch it off of him. “What now?”
Jim slid the PADD across the table. “Captain Grayson sent you a few forms to fill out. By the way, I would not have approved the transfer if I did not approve of the contents of those forms.”
Leonard eyed him suspiciously and slowly turned the pad toward himself. The first form was a relationship declaration form, the second was a consent form, and the third was a blank consent form. The first two had “S. T. S. Grayson” stamped all over it, and the third was supposedly for him to fill out. “What in the Sam Hill is this nonsense?! Jim! What did you sign me up for, you cornfed monst—”
Spock cleared his throat and brushed his hand over the back of his daughter’s head. “I believe that the good doctor has forgotten my mother’s surname.”
“Like hee—ck. I haven’t forgotten. It’s Gray—” Leonard dropped the pad and stood up. “Is he here?” Both of them nodded. “An’ he’s going to captain the medical research ship of my dreams?”
“I believe that it was your idea organized by his efforts,” Spock commented. “While I do not approve of his lack of restraint concerning mind-melds, I do approve of his presence here in this universe. He has also sought treatment and has received the necessary rehabilitation. He is Starfleet approved.”
“Yeah, he even managed to convince our counterparts that they could be better people and started a revolution before he left. I, uh, might have helped by inadvertently getting Pike on their side.” Jim at least had the decency to blush. “Anyway, he’s here on the ship, and he just wants you to approve to all of it or none of it before he sees you. We tried to convince him that wasn’t your style, but he insisted, sorry…”
Leonard had all the papers signed and was working on the consent form before Jim even mentioned him being on the ship. “Why wouldn’t you think a grand romantic gesture of giving me my dream posting isn’t my style?”
The doors swished open, and the newly minted Captain Grayson strode in and took the seat at the head of the table, the one Jim rarely took because he thought it was pretentious. Leonard couldn’t stop staring, but his Spock wouldn’t look at him. He first greeted Jim, then Spock, and then the child—T’Aman. “I am gratified that there were no ill effects on Lieutenant Commander Uhura’s pregnancy from the incident.”
“Is that what you were congratulating her on?” Jim and Leonard asked at the same time, though in different words.
Spock only addressed Jim. “Yes. I saw my counterpart’s treatment of her change from professional to protective in Leonard’s memories. It was the only logical conclusion given the nature of Vulcans in this universe.”
“Indeed.” Spock’s lips quirked as he hugged T’Aman closer to his chest. “Nature is fascinating. For much of what you witnessed, we were unaware of the pregnancy. It was after your sentiments that Nyota was able to decipher my behavior change and seek medical care.”
“Why is everyone ignoring me?” Leonard huffed and leaned over into his Spock’s line of sight. “I filled out your dang forms, captain .”
“Not all of them.”
Leonard frowned and went back to his PADD, looking for any forms he didn’t open, and sure enough, there was one. A marriage agreement. He bit his tongue in order not to curse in front of T’Aman. “Why is this in here? I told you I couldn’t guarantee this, Spock…”
“Sirak.”
“Uh, come again?” Leonard was rethinking this romantic gesture thing. This was starting to become decidedly unromantic.
Spock asked T’Aman to go see her mother, and once she was out of the room, he leaned forward. “You recall what took place last week, correct?” Leonard nodded. “Sirak does not have a mate.”
Leonard’s eyebrows shot clear to his hairline as he stood up and grabbed Spo—Sirak by the uniform. “Are you out of your fuckin’ mind?! Why didn’t you come to me sooner, you green-blooded idiot ?!”
Sirak growled and gripped the table hard enough to splinter the faux wood detailing. “You would do best to calm yourself, lest you be taken here without your consent.”
“Woah, hey, both of you, calm down. It took Sirak a week to get here, Bones. We’re in pretty deep space. Even the Hope’s brand new engines, designed by Scotty, couldn’t make it any faster than that.” Jim scooted away from Sirak before standing up. “We’ll leave you two alone, but for the love of the ensigns, please don’t do anything in this room. We’re both scheduled to orbit this planet for three weeks. Feel free to beam back and forth as needed.”
Leonard looked over to Sirak as Jim and Spock left them alone. “So, uhh, your place or mine?”
Sirak grimaced. “Fill out the forms, Leonard.”
“I don’t… That’s a big commitment, Spock.”
“Sirak.”
“Do you really want to be called that?” Sirak nodded, and Leonard sighed. “Well, if you end up hating me, too bad, I don't feel like being twice divorced, so you’re stuck with me. Also, you’re a stepdaddy now, so have fun with Jo. You get to tell her why we didn’t invite her to the weddin’.” Leonard filled out the marriage agreement and forwarded it to Jim and Spock to approve as witnesses, which they apparently did real fast because as soon as Sirak got the chime, he was on Leonard. “Woah, woah, not in public! An’ I didn’t finish filling out my consent form!”
“You filled all that was necessary for our first time, Leonard. We are going to our quarters on the Hope. It is well stocked, and your belongings can come later. Now, will you come willingly, or must I carry you?”
Leonard hopped out of his chair, grabbed Sirak’s hand, and headed for the door. “What does Sirak mean, anyway?”
“From the distant place.”
“I like it.”
“That is good, for you will be saying it until you cannot speak any longer tonight.”
Leonard cursed and tapped the comm badge on his chest. “Two to beam over to the Hope, captain’s quarters, medical override.”
“Your rank has its privileges, Leonard.”
“Yours better come with a big, comfy bed.”