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The silence is killing her.
Marinette refuses to look Adrien in the eye, her gaze trained on her fingers fidgeting as she waits for an answer, her face a flaming red after she’d just bared her whole heart to the boy in front of her.
“Marinette… I’m sorry,” Adrien starts hesitantly, and Marinette sucks in a sharp breath, steeling herself for the inevitable rejection.
She wills away the tears from her eyes, nodding frantically.
“I get it, Adrien, it’s—it’s—it’s okay,” she bites out, swallowing the lump in her throat. Marinette starts backing away, forcing herself to sound collected but failing, “I understand, you don’t feel the same way, I just wanted you to know, I’m gonna go now—”
“Wait!” Adrien says, grabbing her wrist before Marinette could high-tail out of there, looking incredibly torn. “I—The thing is, Marinette… I’m in love with someone else.”
It takes everything in Marinette not to wince in pain when her heart drops to her feet.
She should’ve expected this.
“I know, it’s okay, I just wanted to—” she curses herself inwardly when the words come out shaky.
“But I’m trying to move on from her.” Adrien continues, a tinge of pink on his cheeks, his hand instinctively rubbing the back of his neck, “…and I kind of want to try things with you, Marinette.”
Marinette’s heart lurches at that, and all she could do is give him a shocked, wide-eyed stare.
“You’re really sweet, and I’d be lying if I said I’m completely unaffected that someone as amazing as you thinks of me that way… so I’d like to give us a shot, if you’re fine with it?”
Marinette opens her mouth, then closes it, her mind reeling.
He’s in love with someone else.
But he wants to start a relationship with her?
He’s trying to move on…
By using her?
“So… I’ll be your… rebound?” Marinette asks slowly. Adrien flinches, shaking his head frantically.
“No, no, not a rebound, exactly... I really do think once all these feelings are gone, we’d be really good together, I just need some time, if that makes sense. A friend of mine gave me the advice to switch targets and well… yeah. But only if it’s okay with you.”
A tiny part of Marinette is screaming at her to say no and turn away now, that she’s setting herself up to fail, her giddiness from being able to confess and not get outwardly rejected tampered by the sting of hurt that he clearly still has feelings for someone else. But…
Is this his way of asking for her help to move on?
Should she?
She’s his friend, first and foremost. If he needs her help to get rid of the feelings that he didn’t want to have, shouldn’t she give it? Would it really be so bad?
Marinette chews on her lip uncertainly. “Are you sure about this?”
Adrien shrugs helplessly, his cheeks tinging a bit pink that makes traitorous hope surge in Marinette’s chest.
“I really am, Marinette. I think… this is what I need right now.”
He looks so earnest and expectant, and even a tad bit pleading, that she sighs before forcing a smile and nodding.
“Okay. Sure. Let’s… try this.”
Adrien’s entire demeanor brightens, and he surges forward, wrapping her in his arms with a whispered ‘thank you’. She pulls back, patting his cheek affectionately, and he catches her hand, pressing a soft kiss on her knuckles, his beautiful green eyes twinkling with excitement.
Her heartbeat skyrockets, jolts of electricity sending sparks up her arm that settle in her bones, and she leaves in such a daze that she almost doesn’t notice the worried look in Tikki’s eyes when she peeks up at her from her purse.
Almost.
~*~
Alya gives her a wary glance as she sits down, cheeks flushed from running to catch the bell.
She isn’t happy with the news when Marinette told her that weekend, not by a long shot, and she does little to hide her dissatisfaction with Marinette.
“Don’t say it,” Marinette mutters, and Alya presses her lips together with an exasperated sigh.
“This is a bad idea, Marinette, and you know it.”
“I know what I’m getting into,” Marinette argues weakly, but Alya raises a questioning eyebrow.
“Do you really?”
Of course she does, she’s about to retort, but then Adrien enters the classroom and greets her a good morning, and all arguments die on her lips as Adrien gives her a soft smile and a peck on the cheek that makes her pulse ring in her ears, before turning to face the board.
Chloe’s scandalized shriek is almost worth the disapproving look Alya and Nino share between the two of them.
~*~
Adrien gives her a bracelet as a surprise, clasping the lock on her wrist, tiny bells tinkling with every movement.
Her fingers find the tiny silver umbrella charm.
“It’s how we became friends, remember?”
She nods, unable to muster the words, fearing they’d come out wrong. Adrien blinks, and starts to ramble nervously.
“I just saw it in a shop window and thought of you, I know it’s not the best but I thought it was pretty, if you don’t like it, I can find something else—”
“I lo—I love it.”
Marinette’s shocked she even manages to thank him coherently with a kiss on the cheek with how hard her heart is thumping.
~*~
He chuckles under his breath as he reads from the Ladyblog on his phone, and Marinette shoots him a curious look, her attention drawn from their Physics homework. They’ve started to do their school work together as study dates, at Adrien’s request, and Marinette had jumped at the chance.
Adrien gives a start before grinning awkwardly.
“Sorry, just thought of a joke.”
“Oh, okay,” Marinette replies, not wanting to pry if he didn’t want to tell her.
“It’s an inside joke with… you know,” he trails off uncertainly, chewing on his lip.
Her.
It makes sense why he wouldn’t tell her; Marinette thinks to herself.
“I see.”
Marinette swallows the lump that forms in her throat, turning away, not wanting to see the guilty look on his face, or she’ll break.
~*~
His hand is brushing hers as they share an ice cream.
It isn’t Andre’s, Adrien mentioned that he didn’t have the time in his schedule to try and look for him, so they settle on an ice cream parlor a block from school.
Adrien gives her a sheepish smile, pink staining his ears as he pulls his hand away with a feeble apology.
Marinette is about to tell him that it’s alright when she follows his gaze to a bouquet of red roses from the flower shop across the street.
For a second, excitement blooms in her chest when she thinks of him giving her some, until she sees the tinge of sadness in his eyes and the forlorn sign that escapes his mouth, before turning his attention back to Marinette.
Oh.
He isn’t thinking of her... is he?
Marinette puts down her spoon, her appetite lost, shrugging when he asks her if that’s all she’s going to eat.
~*~
They walk side-by-side to the courtyard for some sun for lunch, Marinette cradling a box of macarons in her arms before they settle sitting on the shade.
She lifts the lid of the box, offering one to Adrien, who takes it with a grateful grin.
“You don’t have to bring these for me, you know.”
“I want to.”
“You’re amazing, Marinette. I’m really lucky to have you.”
Then he flashes a smile at her, a real one, and Marinette lets herself forget about the other girl, even for just a second.
~*~
Their first official date is at the Louvre.
They walk around admiring the artwork and the exhibits, as Adrien tells her about the history behind them from his tutoring sessions. He falters at the Egyptian exhibit, though, and a pang hits Marinette’s chest when he recognizes the look in his eyes. Longing, melancholy and a little bit of pain.
He’s thinking of her again.
Still, he tries to keep up his cheery disposition, talking about his fencing and video games, to which Marinette nods at enthusiastically.
She waits for him to take her hand.
He doesn’t.
Marinette tries not to be too disappointed.
It’s only a first date, after all.
~*~
Marinette slips back into the classroom just in time for study hall after a particularly rough akuma attack, and finds Adrien slumped on his desk, a defeated expression on his face. She sits next to him, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder, and asks if he’s okay.
“I saw her today.”
Marinette freezes as her stomach twists, and she feels a growing sense of dread as Adrien struggles to find words to say.
A big part of her is terrified that he’s going to tell her he wants to end things, that he doesn’t want to do this with her anymore, that he can’t move on.
The other part of her is surprised it took this long.
“It’s… really hard to see her at work.”
Questions bombard Marinette’s mind, unbidden: Who is she? Is she a model? Is she beautiful? Is she smarter? Is she more confident? What does she have that Marinette doesn’t? and tears sting her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Adrien,” she manages to say. He looks up at her, looking torn, and scoots closer, nestling his head on her shoulder, and he sighs.
“I just… need more time.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s… it’s okay.”
Her hand finds his hair, stroking it gently to comfort him.
How Marinette’s heart manages to still beat after that is beyond her.
~*~
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Alya, don’t,” Marinette says tiredly, burying her face in a pillow.
“He’s an insensitive prick.”
“He’s really not,” she protests weakly, “He needs to vent to someone about her.”
Alya gives her a disbelieving look, crossing her arms. “And that someone has to be you?”
“Who else would it be? I’m with him all the time now.”
“Literally anyone else? I mean, I know he was home-schooled, but I’m pretty sure not telling your girlfriend about the other girl you still like is common sense. Or is he that much of a moron?”
“Don’t be mean, Alya.” Marinette sighs, feeling Alya’s burning gaze on her.
“I’m not being mean. I’m being honest.”
Marinette knows that, of course.
But it still stings when someone points it out.
~*~
She startles when Adrien slips his fingers in between hers as she watches the clouds.
They’re on their second date, a picnic in the park. She’d prepared the food, an assortment of baked goods that she knows are his favorites, and the way he beamed at her sent warmth shooting through her spine and tingles all over her body.
She lies on her back to stare at the sky, pushing the basket aside, giving Adrien enough space to pull away if he wanted to.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, he lies next to her, his hand finding hers.
His eyes widen at her reaction. “I’m sorry, is this okay?”
Marinette nods, the giddy smile she’s been holding in breaking free.
“More than okay.”
Adrien brushes his lips against her forehead before lying back down, and Marinette feels like she’s floating.
~*~
The sun is setting as they stand by the bridge, casting orange hues on Adrien’s face as he closes his eyes. Marinette’s breath hitches as he leans in, and she inches closer, trying to close the distance.
He lets out a frustrated grunt, pressing his lips together. Marinette steps back, a little confused, a lot hurt.
“I’m so sorry, Marinette, but I don’t think… I’m ready.” Adrien says weakly, and Marinette pulls away, nodding. She tries to hide her disappointment, dropping her hand from his.
It’s been a month, she thinks ruefully, before chiding herself for thinking it. You signed up for this.
She feels the tension and the guilt radiating off him, and Marinette wraps her arms around her torso, forcing herself not to look at him.
~*~
“He’s a fool.”
“You’re starting to sound like Alya, Kagami.”
They sit next to each other munching on the sandwiches on the gym benches as Marinette waits for Adrien’s fencing practice to end. Kagami looks at her with a mix of pity and exasperation, and Marinette wants to melt through the floor.
“That does not mean I am wrong.”
Marinette stays silent.
“Why do you do this to yourself, Marinette?” she asks, half-angry on her behalf, and half-curious, and Marinette bites back a sigh.
“He makes me happy.”
“Debatable.”
“He does…” Marinette insists.
“But he also hurts you, does he not? So why?”
Marinette knew what she was getting into, right? She went into this knowing he loves someone else.
It’s better to have him like this than to not have him at all, a part of her screams.
She should take what she can get.
But somehow, Marinette can’t get the words out to explain.
Maybe because there aren’t any.
She turns away instead, trying to hide the fact that, maybe, she’s asking herself the same question.
Kagami doesn’t buy it for a second.
~*~
The akuma attack is, for once, a welcome distraction for Marinette.
She’d been rambling about her new design, trailing off when she realizes that Adrien is nodding absentmindedly, his mind a million miles away. When he blinks at the silence, he apologizes for not paying attention, claiming exhaustion from his photoshoot. Marinette nods in understanding, opting to stay quiet and work on her designs, ignoring the tiny ache in her heart when the alert goes off.
She slips away from him with ease, though wonders whether or not he’ll even notice if she’s gone.
Ladybug cleanses the akuma, rolling her eyes at a flirty quip Chat Noir makes before turning to him with a nervous look.
“I… have a boyfriend now, Chat,” she says slowly, and she flinches inwardly at how his entire demeanor seems to droop.
Then he straightens, and gives her a forced, toothy grin.
“Congrats, LB. Your boy finally noticed you?”
“Not really,” she tells him, a little bitterly, “I’m his rebound, I think.”
“What?” Chat asks, indignant on her behalf, and Ladybug almost smiles.
“He likes someone else, but he’s dating me. My civilian best friend thinks it’s a bad idea, and I’m starting to think that, too, but I just can’t seem to… it’s stupid.”
“Maybe he just needs some time.” Chat answers, quietly, a little dejected. “Maybe he really does have feelings for you and he’s just having trouble with moving on from the other girl, but he doesn’t want to lose you.”
“Speaking from experience, kitty?”
Chat doesn’t answer.
The smile she gives him is a sad thing.
~*~
Marinette knows the look of someone so deeply smitten that they couldn’t hide it if they tried.
After all, she’s seen it on her face every single day in the mirror.
She notices the way Adrien’s eyes soften, the way his lips curve into a lovestruck smile, the way his cheeks pinken prettily as he sighs, and by God, it’s a beautiful look on him.
Which makes it all the more painful when Marinette knows it’s not for her.
She tries not to be bitter about it. It’s hard, moving on from someone—she should know, of course.
But that doesn’t stop a traitorous part of her from whispering, Still?
~*~
“Love is so complicated.” Adrien says quietly, putting down the controller to look at Marinette.
“I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t say it’s fine, because it’s starting to really feel like it isn’t. So, she stays nothing. If he notices, he doesn’t address it.
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“Of course, I’m your friend,” she replies automatically, turning away to setup another game and missing the way his face falls.
“But we’re on a date,” he says tentatively, a tiny bit of hurt seeping into his voice, and Marinette has to bite the inside of her cheek to stop a sarcastic quip.
“You needed to vent.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Marinette sits back down, and tries to focus on playing instead of the ache that somehow found a permanent home in her chest when she’s with Adrien.
~*~
Adrien is trying.
He’s trying so hard, damn it.
Marinette… Marinette is wonderful.
She’s sweet, patient, and thoughtful… and more than he could ever deserve.
A part of him wants to let her go, yelling at him at how unfair he is to keep doing this to her, to see the pain flash in her eyes or the strain in her smile and know that it’s his fault.
But another part of him refuses to. If he lets her go now, he’s going to lose her completely, and Adrien isn’t sure he could handle that.
If only Ladybug wasn’t so hard to forget.
Because when Marinette makes his heart skip a beat, Ladybug makes it thunder in his chest.
When Marinette smiles, his stomach squeezes pleasantly. When Ladybug grins at him, his stomach erupts with uncontrollable butterflies.
When Marinette laughs, warmth spreads across Adrien’s chest. When Ladybug laughs, he feels fire in his bones.
Marinette may make him happy, but Ladybug… Ladybug makes him feel alive.
He’s a terrible, terrible person.
Adrien watches Marinette from the bottom of the school steps, giggling as Alya shoves her good-naturedly, and guilt gnaws at him.
Marinette deserves better.
He’ll try to be better.
So Adrien climbs the steps, taking two at a time, before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and giving her a surprise peck on her cheek, ignoring Alya’s skeptical look.
He grins at the color flooding in her cheeks, and his pulse stutters when her lips touch his face.
~*~
Adrien watches her from the corner of his eye.
The sunlight seeps through the car window, making Marinette’s freckles stand out as she reads something on her phone. She hums along to the song on the radio, a classic love ballad the Gorilla put on to set the mood.
He feels a smile tugging at his lips as he scoots a little closer, craning his neck to see what she’s browsing.
It widens when his heart does a little skip when their arms brush against each other and a tiny hint of warmth pulses through his body, and she looks up at him with a small smile.
She’s really pretty.
~*~
“Red or black?” Marinette asks, holding up the fabric for Adrien to see, when she notices the way his lips thin and his eyes flit away from her. She looks to him and back to the fabrics in her hand, a little wary.
“Black?” he replies uncertainly, looking uncomfortable, a strange emotion in his eyes.
Marinette’s face falls when she realizes what exactly it is, and she lets the bolts of fabric drop.
Maybe purple would look better on the dress, she thinks bitterly.
~*~
They’re strolling along by the river, Marinette looking for inspiration in the waves of water and cobblestones for a new design.
“It’s a beautiful day,” she says idly, Adrien humming in agreement.
She sees the different shades of green in the leaves and ponders if any of them would match Adrien’s eyes.
Marinette sneaks a glance, and she sees the small, fond smile dancing on his lips as he looks up at the roof of Notre Dame.
Her grip on his hand loosens, looking away from the questioning glance he gives her as he laces their fingers more tightly than before.
For the first time in three months, she wonders whether or not he’ll ever look at her the same way she does him.
~*~
Tikki watches her with a deep frown as Marinette changes into her pajamas, shoulders slumped and eyes red-rimmed.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“I know you don’t. But I’m worried about you, Marinette.”
“It’s worth it, Tikki.”
Tikki’s disbelieving stare says it loud and clear: Is it?
~*~
Chat Noir jumps out of nowhere, making her trip out of surprise as she’s walking home from a bakery delivery.
“Careful there, Princess,” he says, steadying her with a grin, eyes shining with mirth. “Wouldn’t want you to hurt your pretty self. It’d be such a shame.”
Marinette snorts. “No need for over-the-top flattery, tomcat. Save the flirting for someone who deserves it.”
Chat balks at that, though Marinette couldn’t understand for the life of her why.
Before he could retort, she invites him in for pastries and a cup of hot chocolate.
He starts to visit a few nights a week after that.
~*~
Marinette finds a frappe on her desk the morning after one of Chat Noir’s late-night visits.
She looks around, curious, until she sees Adrien’s red-tipped ears sneaking glances at her from his peripheral vision.
On the side of the cup sleeve, a familiar scrawl in permanent marker says, ‘A sweet drink for a sweet girl 😊’
She smiles, her chest erupting with butterflies, pointedly ignoring Alya’s exasperated sigh from beside her.
Marinette doodles a tiny cat with a speech bubble that says ‘Thank you!’ on a sticky note and passes it to him.
Adrien suppresses a chuckle, and triumph swells in her chest.
~*~
“It’s another photoshoot,” Adrien groans, his hand carding through his hair.
Marinette frowns, patting his leg sympathetically.
“We can always reschedule,” she assures him, and he grimaces.
“It isn’t fair.”
“I know, but it’s okay. I understand.”
“I’m sorry. Again.”
Marinette stays silent, wincing at the intrusive thought: At least it’s not her this time.
She tries to ignore just how sad of a thing that is to be glad about.
~*~
“Your hair is pretty when it’s down,” Chat Noir says, watching her brush the tangled knots out of it. “Why don’t you wear it like that more often?”
Marinette pauses, thinking back to when Adrien had told her she looked beautiful with her hair down. For some reason, it doesn’t make her feel any better.
“I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“You should try it.” Chat insists, making his way toward her and running a gloved hand through her locks.
He doesn’t stop until she agrees.
Marinette didn’t know what to make of Adrien’s blushing the next day—but it’s different; a good different.
~*~
The music swells as the movie’s climax comes to a head.
She and Adrien are sharing a blanket, the smell of butter from the long-gone popcorn still lingering in her bedroom. Adrien chances a look at her, his eyes soft, and instinctively, she pulls him closer.
Marinette leans in, her eyes fluttering closed as their lips draw closer together, his breath fanning hers.
Adrien stiffens slightly, and Marinette immediately pulls back.
She gives him a little space for extra measure, putting a pillow in between them, a strange exhaustion taking over her body.
Not for the first time, she wonders whether he just feels obligated to keep doing this, whether or not it’s just out of pity; and a miniscule part of her asks why not just end things—but she stomps that part down.
Just a little more time, she tells herself, as she forces herself to watch the remainder of the movie. He needs a little more time.
The tiny, traitor of a voice taunts her: You’ll never be enough for him, will you?
And if a few tears fall from her eyes, she tells Adrien the movie just made her emotional.
~*~
The girls’ looks could burn holes through her, some sad, some frustrated, all concerned.
“You need to stop being such a martyr,” Alix grumbles, crossing her arms.
Marinette doesn’t reply.
“We know you like Adrien, but come on, girl, you’re just punishing yourself at this point.” Alya insists, and Marinette closes her eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment that’s palpable from all of them.
“He needs more time.”
“You said that last time. It’s been four months, Mar.”
“H-he’s trying.” The protest sounds weak, even to her.
“Clearly not enough.”
Marinette presses her lips together, feeling the stinging behind her eyelids.
“We don’t like seeing you hurt, Mari.” Rose says softly, imploringly. “And that’s what he’s doing.”
“He makes me happy.”
“How often?” Alix presses, and the fact that Marinette’s immediate answer is ‘sometimes’ should be answer enough, so she doesn’t say it out loud.
“I should have the guys talk some sense into him. This isn’t right,” Alya huffs.
“It’s my fault, I agreed to it. I can’t complain.”
“He shouldn’t have offered in the first place.” Mylene interjects. “That was already out of line. And completely unfair to you.”
But Adrien is trying, and that should be worth something. He deserves a shot, right? Who is she to decide what’s fair or not? Marinette doesn’t know anymore, not really.
She had this sleepover to forget about Adrien, if only for a night.
Oh well.
~*~
Adrien slides into the seat next to Marinette as she sketches absentmindedly.
He waits for a couple of minutes in silence, observing whether or not she’d notice him before brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear.
She jumps in surprise, turning to him with wide eyes and parted lips.
He smiles. “You good?”
She blinks once, twice before shaking her head.
“Yeah, I am, just didn’t get any sleep last night.”
Adrien thinks back to his patrol with Ladybug the night before, the way she’d laughed at his puns and rolled her eyes, and he stamps down his traitor of a face that blushes.
He notices Marinette looking at him, and her face falls slightly before turning back to her sketch, and guilt floods Adrien’s being.
So, he grabs her hand and squeezes it tightly, drawing circles on her knuckles with his thumb, as a silent apology.
~*~
“Why do you keep doing that? You scared me!” Ladybug says as she buries her face into his chest, her arms around his neck. His cheeks flood with color, surprised.
Chat isn’t sure what happened, only remembering jumping in front of Ladybug when the akuma cornered them with its beams, but he wraps his arms around his Lady, who’s still clinging onto him for dear life.
The shame hits him tenfold as Chat buries his face in her hair, whispering reassurances, as his body tingles and his stomach twists in Ladybug’s presence.
“Stop doing that. Please, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she tells him, and Chat curses himself over and over again at the way giddiness makes his chest light, but he doesn’t pull away.
He hopes Marinette forgives him for his stubborn heart.
~*~
Adrien had that look on his face again that morning.
The same longing, lovesick look painted on his features that Marinette had slowly come to resent.
He couldn’t hide it, even if he tried. And he did try.
She stares at the poster of him at her ceiling, and the butterflies she used to feel are replaced by a certain sense of despair.
That small part of her telling her he’d never love her seems to be getting louder, along with the voices of the girls pleading with her to stop hurting herself like this.
Why is it so hard?
Before her vision blurs with tears, Marinette bolts up from her bed and grabs a stool.
Maybe she needs to redecorate a little.
~*~
“How come you never sing at school? Your voice is nice,” Adrien asks as Marinette coils her earbuds into a neat knot before pocketing them.
She shrugs, turning away, though Adrien can see the shade of pink her face turned into at the words.
“Do you want to duet?” he asks hopefully, gesturing to his piano across the room.
Marinette gapes at him, bewildered.
“It… gets lonely, playing by myself.”
She nods slowly, her nose still scrunched in confusion that Adrien finds cute.
He pulls out a seat for her next to him by the piano, and asks what she’d want to sing.
Marinette smiles when she says the title of her parents’ favorite song, and Adrien is struck by just how beautiful she is when she’s happy.
If he leans a little closer and brushes his fingers against her skin more than he needs to, who can blame him?
~*~
She’s frowning down at a paper when he finally finds her.
Adrien takes a peek and sees the unfinished Physics worksheet, grumbling curses under her breath that makes him grin in amusement.
“Seems like you’re busy.”
She lets out a soft frustrated groan before leaning back, her lips thin with annoyance. He chuckles and wraps an arm around her waist to pull her near.
“You deserve a break, Mari. I can help you with that later.”
“Really?” her whole face lights up that Adrien couldn’t help but laugh. He presses a kiss on the crown of her head before resting his chin on it, indulging in her scent.
Marinette smells like baked pastries, strawberries and home.
~*~
The words ‘girl, are you a masochist?’ flash on Marinette’s lockscreen, and she pushes it away.
Really, she’s getting sick of asking herself the same damn thing.
It happened again.
And again.
And again.
Marinette wonders if this will ever end; him building up her hopes with warm smiles and stolen cheek kisses only to have it ripped away with forlorn sighs and faraway stares the very next day.
How much longer could she take it?
How high will he let her fly before letting her crash back down to the ground?
Why doesn’t she measure up to the girl he loves? What is she doing wrong?
Why is she never enough?
Of course, everyone loves Ladybug. Everyone needs a class representative. Everyone wants a Dupain-Cheng baker. Everyone cares about a designer they can get free clothes from.
But Marinette? No, no one wants just Marinette.
Including Adrien.
The tears are hot on her cheeks, and her chest constricts the farther down the spiral she goes. She lets the despair she’s been putting aside wash over her, threatening to drown her with sorrow until she doesn’t feel the pain beating down on her, the absolute exhaustion of pretending she’s okay with what he’s doing, the feeling of inadequacy that somehow creeped up on her every time she’s with Adrien, and she lets herself break.
She cries and cries until she’s all cried out, Tikki offering what little comfort she could.
Marinette mourns the fact that she can’t stop loving Adrien in a day; after all, it’s that kind of thing that got her in this mess in the first place.
When her sobs finally quiet down, only one question is left: What happens now?
~*~
Marinette doesn’t talk much the next day.
Adrien is worried. She gives him a tight smile—the kind of smile she gives him when he talks about Ladybug—when he asked if anything was wrong.
Marinette’s a terrible liar.
Her eyes are red, her pigtails are uneven and she radiates a bone-deep exhaustion that makes Adrien’s stomach clench unpleasantly.
Adrien wishes she’d tell him anything, what happened, who did it, how he could make everything go away—but he didn’t want to pry.
He slips his hand in hers and squeezes it tightly, letting the action speak what his words couldn’t.
The pinch in his heart when she gives him and their intertwined hands a confused look only makes him worry more.
~*~
“Croissants? What’s the occasion?” Chat asks as Ladybug slides the box to him, silently offering.
“Nothing…” Ladybug shrugs. Chat happily plucks one for himself, letting out a satisfied hum as the flavor explodes in his mouth.
“Well, this cat isn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. These are amazing, bug!”
Ladybug grins at him before sighing defeatedly, striking a chord of worry in him.
“Sorry. These were actually for someone but… I didn’t give it to him.”
“Your boyfriend?” Chat asks, swallowing down the tiny hurt. Strange, he thought the mention of her mystery boy would bother him more, but it doesn’t.
“…I guess? I don’t know.”
“You… don’t know?”
Ladybug grimaces, rubbing her hands over her face frustratedly. “Yeah. I never realized he never asked me to be his girlfriend, so I’m guessing I’m not. I never really put much thought into what we are before this. Love really is blind.”
“He’s stupid.” Chat Noir scoffs, putting a consoling hand on her shoulder. Ladybug snorts, unamused.
“Maybe. Anyway, I forgot to give it to him today, it’s sort of our routine, but I figured you would appreciate it.”
Chat pauses mid-bite, a strange twisting in his gut taking over him when he remembers that Marinette didn’t bring anything for them to share today.
He puts down the croissant, staring longingly in the bakery’s direction, wondering if Marinette’s thinking about him right now as he’s thinking about her.
~*~
“Why’d you take down the posters of that model boy, Princess?”
Marinette isn’t sure if she’s imagining the hint of wariness in Chat’s playful tone, but she brushes it off with a roll of her eyes.
“None of your business, alley cat.”
He pouts exaggeratedly, and Marinette lets out a soft giggle that coaxes a triumphant smile. She flops on the bed right by Chat’s legs, and she stares up at him bowed over her, his neon green eyes gleaming in curiosity in the darkness of her room. She grins before flicking his nose, laughing when he scrunches it annoyance.
“So?”
“I just needed the space for more photos with friends and all. It’s better, I guess. A personal touch.” Marinette says, a half-truth, at best, but hopefully still believable.
“More photos…” Chat’s expression turns thoughtful. Then his eyes soften, and his lips curve into a smile that reminds Marinette of how he looks at Ladybug. She blushes against her will under his intense stare.
“That sounds like a great idea, Princess. Want to take one right now?”
By the end of the night, Marinette’s phone storage was almost full.
~*~
“They’re all the same, and they’re not even realistic!” Nino says heatedly, and Alya rolls her eyes.
“You are such a guy,” Alya scoffs, nudging Marinette with her elbow. “Come on, Mar, you’re on my side, right?”
Marinette looks up from her textbook, seeing that Nino, Alya and Adrien are looking at her expectantly, nevermind that this is the last conversation she wants to have right now.
“I think Nino’s right. Romcom films aren’t all that cracked up to be. Sure, they’re fun to watch, but they just set your expectations high for things that will never happen,” Marinette says coolly, turning back to her review sheets. “Can we please go back to studying Shakespeare? I don’t want my grade to be abysmal and get another pep talk from Bustier.”
She didn’t look back up, missing Alya and Nino’s surprised expressions and Adrien’s crestfallen face.
~*~
Marinette looks back at Adrien, bewildered and flushed, as he unties the ribbons from her hair.
“What are you doing?” she asks, confused, and Adrien blinks before realizing he’s not Chat Noir at the moment. He scrambles for an excuse but falls short.
“I wanted to… brush your hair. Maybe tie it?”
Marinette stays silent, and the completely puzzled expression on her face hurts him a little.
“Why?” she finally asks, her voice slightly above a whisper.
She’s never asked Chat Noir why before.
“Because… I want to?”
Marinette bites her lip, and Adrien isn’t sure what she’s thinking but the emotion in her eyes makes his chest ache—wariness. Of him.
“That’s new.” Marinette comments, turning back to give him access to her hair, and Adrien swallows, his mouth a little dry as he tries to make sense of Marinette’s reaction.
As he delicately braids her hair, Adrien couldn’t help but notice how stiff Marinette’s shoulders are compared to when he visits as Chat Noir.
What changed?
~*~
“Hold still, you two!” Adrien chides, adjusting his stance and the camera for the tenth time, and Marinette bites back a smile as Nino and Alya playfully bicker. “We’ll never get a proper picture if you keep moving!”
“Our standards for photos are not high, unlike you, Mister Model!” Alya calls out, and Adrien sticks his tongue out at her. Marinette watches them fondly, not remembering the last time Adrien had looked so carefree before. Gabriel Agreste may be a talented designer, but if Adrien’s stories were anything to go by, he’s not a very good father.
“This angle looks good; Vincent swears by it! I promise you’ll thank me later.” Adrien kneels and focuses the camera lens. “Smile!”
When the two take a look at the photo, Adrien takes Marinette’s hand and pulls her to the spot that Alya and Nino just left. “Take a photo of us, too!”
Marinette’s head whips toward him, her pulse jumping as Adrien calls out instructions for Alya to take the perfect picture, Alya fighting him every step of the way.
“What are we doing?” Marinette asks, making Adrien look at her questioningly.
“Don’t you want a picture of us?”
Marinette nods, still confused, but Adrien beams. He pulls her closer, pressing into her side, and his warmth and excitement makes her blush.
“You’re incredible, Marinette,” he whispers in her ear, and Marinette’s lips part in shock, her face flushing pink as she looks up at him. He’s gazing at her fondly, sporting a playful smile. She hears a click of a camera, making her turn back to Alya smugly taking pictures.
She couldn’t help the smile growing on her face as Alya clicks away.
Still, Marinette couldn’t stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to think about the other girl and rip this moment away from her.
It’s better safe than sorry, she thinks to herself, hours later, as she stares at the picture of them, looking like the perfect couple. This won’t last forever.
~*~
“Pound it?” Ladybug holds out her fist, but Chat barely registers her words as he bolts for the school, to the previously destroyed classroom where he told Marinette to hide.
His transformation drops, and with it, his heart, when he sees it empty, and he dashes to the hallway.
“Adrien!”
He whips around, a cry of relief escaping his mouth when he sees Marinette standing by the bathroom, looking winded and confused, but fine.
Adrien practically tackles her with a hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck, she’s safe, she’s safe, she’s safe—
“Wh—Adrien, what’s wrong?”
“I thought you got caught up in the attack. The classroom was empty,” he says into her neck, muffling his voice.
Marinette tentatively wraps her arms around him, and his grip tightens.
“I’m okay. The Miraculous Ladybugs fixed everything.”
He pulls back, cupping her cheek with his hand, taking in every inch of her unscathed features.
“I got so scared.” Adrien closes his eyes, the adrenaline finally draining out of him. He slumps into Marinette’s embrace. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d gotten hurt.”
He holds her for a good twenty minutes before they’re forced apart by the bell ringing.
~*~
“Good luck.” Marinette tells him, pressing a delicate kiss on his cheek and he smiles at her before pulling down his mask.
She thinks about the soft look on his face when she entered the gym to watch his match, and she recognizes it as the expression when he thinks about her yet again.
A twinge of hurt comes back, but it’s muted by her acceptance that he’ll never see her the way he sees that mystery girl he couldn’t stop pining for.
Marinette doesn’t know what to make of it when his face brightens when he sees her, though, but it might’ve just been a fluke.
She catches Kagami’s eye from the other side of the room. Kagami presses her lips together, eyes flaring with indignation on her behalf, and Marinette almost grins, thankful to have such a good friend looking out for her.
Kagami wipes the floor with Adrien three matches in a row.
~*~
They were late to the party, his photoshoot running later than Adrien expected.
He tries to hide his disappointment when Marinette practically bounds for the houseboat, letting go of his hand to greet everyone, plastering an excited smile on his face instead.
Adrien crosses his arms, biting the inside of his cheek to tamp down the twinge of irritation he feels when Luka hugs Marinette. She looks… so at ease with him, laughing at whatever he said with bright, happy eyes. Nothing like how tense she’s been the last couple of days.
“He’s really sweet,” he overhears Alya telling Rose, who’s nodding eagerly. “He knows how to treat a lady, that’s for sure. Won’t make her feel like second best.”
The jab hits home and Adrien has to take a long sip from his punch to make up for the way his mouth dries at the statement.
He holds Marinette a little tighter on their ride home.
~*~
“Your father said yes.” Marinette says, hoping the exhaustion isn’t apparent in her voice.
“How did you manage to get him to agree? You’re a miracle worker, Marinette!” Adrien positively beams at her, scooping her into his arms.
“I just said it was for school and you’d get additional workload if you didn’t come, which will cut into your photoshoot time. I even promised to give him hourly updates if he was still unconvinced. You’re all set.”
Adrien laughs, bright and alive, and her heart squeezes at the pure joy in his expression as he hugs her tightly.
Marinette hopes he doesn’t notice that she doesn’t melt into his embrace.
~*~
There are no fireworks, no airport chases, no dramatic arguments in the rain.
The epiphany hits him when he’s dancing with Marinette in the school gym under colored lights and a popular love song. She’d worked so hard on organizing the dance with the student council, and it paid off—the food is delicious, the decorations are fantastic and the lights and sounds are top of the line.
And here they are, swaying to the music. Her hair falls in loose curls that frame her face, her blue eyes absolutely shining in the dim light, her glossed lips parted slightly as she looks up at him, her red dress hugging her in just the right way. Adrien wants to reach out and connect the constellations of freckles on her face, to lace his fingers in her soft locks and pull her in close and Lord, he’s only ever felt this way when he’s with Ladybug, but right now, she is the farthest thing from his mind.
It’s only Marinette—Marinette who is so beautiful, so kind, so thoughtful, so patient, and having her love him is the most extraordinarily wonderful thing that’s ever happened to him, and just the thought of it makes his heart soar and a strange warmth spread in his entire body—
Oh.
Oh.
Adrien couldn’t contain the giddy, lovestruck smile if he tried.
He hesitates for only a second, before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.
There are the fireworks.
~*~
Marinette is hyperaware of every movement, every tender touch, every sigh Adrien makes, as his hands travel to her waist and he deepens the kiss.
Her eyes flutter close, her heart threatening to beat out her chest as she lets herself slowly get lost in the kiss, betraying her resolve of slowly letting him go for one fleeting moment.
It’s not a crime to relapse. It’s not a sin to forget for a while.
And yet, as he cradles her in his arms to the soft beat of the music, as he holds her like she’s the most precious treasure he’s ever held, Marinette can’t help but think: Why now?
~*~
Adrien hates morning photoshoots. He stares at the ceiling for bit as the sound of Nathalie’s heels grow fainter before peeling himself off his sheets.
He grabs his phone, and a smile involuntarily creeps up his face as he sees his lock screen. Adrien had changed it from a picture of Ladybug to a photo of him and Marinette—her hair is in a braid that he brushed and tied himself, a couple of wisps falling into her face from the spring breeze. She’s giggling at a joke he made, holding up the ice cream cone they were sharing as he tugs her closer with a wrapped arm around her waist. His arm is stretched to take the photo with his phone, but he’s not looking at the camera; he’s looking at her.
Then Adrien taps open his messages and refreshes. Once, then twice.
His smile drops a little, confused.
Marinette didn’t send a good morning message like she usually does.
He opens their thread and types a message of his own.
‘good morning, mariii <3 you awake yet? don’t be late!’
Adrien heads for the shower, unable to shake the disappointment.
When he checks his phone again, it only doubles.
Marinette’s message only reads ‘good morning adrien’. No ‘have a nice day!!!’ or ‘hope you’re taking care of yourself, drink some water >:[’ or ‘don’t work yourself too hard, ok?’, not even an emoji.
He frowns, a worried grimace gracing his features as he wonders if anything happened that got her down.
Adrien types out a message to ask her if she’s alright when Nathalie comes to fetch him, leaving it unsent.
~*~
Marinette still loves him. Of course she does—if it were this easy to fall out of love with someone, neither she nor Adrien would be trapped in this undefined limbo of confusing feelings in the first place.
She still smiles when he’s with her, he’s still the first person she looks for in a crowd, the laugh she can pick out in a sea of noise, the reason her heart stops and starts abruptly and butterflies erupt in her chest. She still wants to do anything she can to see him happy, safe, content, wants to shelter him from the world and anyone who wants to hurt him.
But it’s… muted. The world isn’t as vibrant as she thought it was when he’s around. The carefree happiness is tempered by her wariness of its fleeting nature. Be careful, don’t get caught up, she tells herself, this is all temporary; soon, he’ll remember her and you’ll be on the backburner again.
It’s both easier and harder, now, being around Adrien, when her rose-colored glasses are tinted with gray.
~*~
“Stupid stitches,” Marinette groans before grabbing her seam ripper, muttering a string of curses that he did not expect to hear from her. Chat Noir grins, peeking over her shoulder to see what she’s working on.
“Who’s that for, Princess?” he asks, and Marinette gives him a tired smile.
“Adrien,” Chat Noir feels his smile stretch at the fondness in Marinette’s tone, not picking up on the sadness laced just beneath it, “He mentioned that he gets cold easily so I thought of making him this beanie.”
“Adrien…?” he tries to pry, a teasing lilt in his voice. She’s been acting down around him lately, so it’s surprising to see her put so much effort in a gift for him.
She hums, nodding. “Yeah, he’s a… friend of mine.”
The words feel like a physical blow and Chat Noir staggers back, as the waves of shock and hurt and confusion hit him unexpectedly, and he holds himself steady on her chaise.
A… friend?
Marinette looks at him strangely, and he realizes he must’ve spoken out loud.
“…just a friend?” he asks slowly, a lump forming in his throat, making the question sound strained.
She raises an eyebrow. “Well, yes, what else would he be?”
Chat Noir doesn’t answer. His chest is tight, his eyes are stinging at the sureness of her statement, and what does she mean by what else would he be—
He gives her a hasty goodbye before bolting for the door, his heart and head both a complete mess.
~*~
Adrien is sticking to her like glue, and Marinette isn’t sure why.
It’s not… bad, per se, unless you count the shambles it leaves her feelings in, but he’s never clung to her quite like this before.
He insists on holding her hand, drawing patterns on the inside of her wrist with his thumb. He walks her to and from classes and refuses to let her eat lunch alone. Adrien brushes her hair back when it falls on her face, he hugs her from the back when she least expects, he kisses her when he thinks no one is looking, and it’s all just so… confusing.
Adrien presses his lips to her knuckles reverently as he drops her off, her face flushing pink at his delighted smile. She feels his eyes on her until his car disappears from view.
Oh, it would be so easy to let herself fall back into him.
She wants to believe that this is really for her, now, but her heart has put up its defenses, and Adrien doesn’t have all the keys anymore.
~*~
“I’m sorry,” Marinette sighs. Adrien deflates, pulling her in close as his fingers trace the base of her spine.
“It’s okay, Marinette. Maybe some other time, then? I just know you’re going to love the food there; I couldn’t help but be reminded of you,” he adds, a little enthusiastic, a little hopeful, and Marinette forces a nod.
“Of course. I promise.”
The beautiful smile he gives her only makes her chest tight.
~*~
Adrien feels Marinette slipping through his fingers.
She doesn’t try to kiss him anymore.
She doesn’t lean into his touches, or melt into his hugs.
She doesn’t reach for his hand when she’s nervous, her eyes don’t light up as bright as they used to at the sight of him.
Her smiles for him aren’t as warm as they used to be.
When he reaches for her, she only pulls away farther, and it’s like chasing down a daydream until it vanishes into smoke in front of him.
But he can’t lose her. He can’t.
So he tries. Again and again. He keeps trying, harder than ever before.
~*~
“I think I should end… whatever I have with him.”
Chat’s world screeches to a halt. His blood roars in his ears as he stares at Marinette, who looks so… defeated, so helpless—
“What?” he chokes out, and Marinette looks even more miserable.
“Adrien. I mean, not that we were even a proper couple but… I don’t think I want to keep doing this with him. It’s just… pathetic, at this point.”
“Pathetic?”
Marinette turns to him, looking conflicted and fear strikes Chat’s chest, more potent than any he’s ever felt before.
“Adrien’s in love with someone else, and my pining over him despite that fact is… sad.”
“That’s not true, Marinette, you know that’s not true, don’t you? Of course, he loves you, how could he not?”
“Really? It’s been how many months now and he still… he still gets that look on his face when he thinks of her, when he thinks I can’t see it. But I do. I’m tired of getting my hopes up only for him to crush it. It’s exhausting, Chat. I don’t want it anymore.”
Panic claws up Chat’s throat as she fiddles with the lucky charm bracelet dejectedly, before slipping it off her wrist.
“Princess, please, believe me, none of that is true—”
“How would you know that, Chat? It’s so hard to believe now. I’m spent.”
“Because I do love you, Marinette, I have for a while now, but I’ve known since we kissed, you have to believe me—” the words come tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop them, wanting nothing more than to convince her that it’s only her now, that he doesn’t realize his mistake.
Marinette looks stricken, blinking rapidly as she tries to comprehend his words. “What are you—”
He’s not thinking at all, he isn’t, all he knows is that he can’t lose her, he’ll do anything, please—
“You?” Her voice drips with betrayal as Chat releases his transformation, leaving a desperate Adrien Agreste sitting on her bed.
“Marinette, please—”
“Oh, God,” she whispers brokenly, her eyes filling with tears, flinching when he approaches. “You knew. You knew.”
“No, you don’t understand—”
“That’s why you started visiting, isn’t it? That’s why you started acting like you cared more, that’s why you decided to hold my hand and kiss me and go on all those dates because I told Chat how I felt and you knew—”
Adrien grasps her hands in his, his heart plummeting when he feels how much she’s shaking, how devastated she is, how it’s his fault—and he can’t find the words to make it better, and it kills him—
“Was this all just a game to you? A way to get rid of the guilt? You… tricked me. You used my friendship with Chat Noir to gain the upper-hand…” her voice breaks, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle her sobs.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t lose you, please, let me explain—”
“It was Ladybug. The other girl was Ladybug.” Marinette says, and her eyes held so much contempt when she looks up at him that he physically staggers back, as if he’d gotten hit. She lets out a rueful laugh that sends a shiver down Adrien’s spine. “I guess you didn’t really love her, then, did you, Adrien? You couldn’t look past the mask to see the girl behind it.”
Adrien feels himself grow cold as his brain frantically tries to catch up, to make sense of what she’s saying—
“Everyone loves Ladybug, don’t they? Too bad none of them love Marinette the same way.”
His eyes widen as the realization hits him like a freight train.
No.
No.
Marinette pushes him off of her, turning away as she hugs herself tightly, as if it’s the only thing holding her together left, and Adrien wants to take her in his arms and make it all go away, but he can’t, because this is his doing, he’s hurt her, he’s been hurting her for a long time, and he doesn’t know what else to do—
“Get out.” she says in a low voice, still trembling.
“Marinette, I’m begging you, I just—” He’s on his knees now, crying in earnest, trying to reach out to her but she just moves further away from him and Adrien’s heart breaks into a million pieces.
“Get out! Get out, stay away from me! Leave me alone, just get the fuck out!”
Adrien calls for his transformation, and runs, hoping no one in Paris could hear his cries from their rooftops, leaving the shattered remains of his heart with Marinette.
~*~
No amount of ice cream, sleepovers or tissues can fix what Adrien had broken in her. She doesn’t think anything will, really.
Marinette still tries, though.
~*~
Adrien feels the heat of Alya’s glare burning into his back. He feels the icy disposition and whispers that the girls share when he enters the classroom. He sees Nino’s disappointed head shake and the boys’ wary glances at him.
He bears it all in silence. This is the curse of the Black Cat—he destroys every good thing he touches.
And yet this pain is not worth even a fraction of what he did to Marinette.
~*~
She doesn’t show up for patrol, and Nathalie finds a bouquet of pink tulips in Adrien’s trash bin the next morning.
~*~
Marinette’s desk and floors are littered with balled-up paper; Alya smooths one out and finds only the words ‘Dear diary, I still love him. Why do I still love him?’ crossed out with tearstains blotting the ink.
~*~
The Gorilla stops playing his love songs in the car, and Adrien is torn between relief and despair at not hearing the songs he used to listen with her.
~*~
Marinette can’t even look at passionfruit macarons without tearing up.
~*~
Nino tackles him with a hug out of nowhere, almost sending them both toppling to the floor.
“You’re hurting, too.”
Adrien doesn’t answer.
He knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he’s selfish. So, he takes comfort in the gesture as much as he can, guilt gnawing at his very being.
~*~
All of Paris could see that they’re not in sync.
The akumas are getting harsher, more violent, and stronger than ever. The heroes leave the fights battle-worn, physically, mentally and emotionally spent, and there’s an ever-present sense of foreboding when one of them speaks to the press to address it. Paris sees that, too.
What Paris doesn’t see is that the two heroes haven’t spoken in weeks, the hurt between them too fresh, too raw, too deep.
That’s how it happened.
Ferrum—an akuma with sharp weapons galore at his disposal. He attacks with a ferocity Ladybug has never seen before, as if he had a personal vendetta against the two heroes fighting him now.
He flings his knife at an impossible speed, grazing Ladybug’s ear as she dodges desperately out of the way.
Chat Noir is too distracted—watching her with a frantic, worried look in his eye, poised to jump to her side at a moment’s notice—to see that Ferrum set his sights on him with a cruel grin.
He sends a dagger flying, aiming straight for Chat’s—no, Adrien’s—heart.
Ladybug sees red, her pulse roaring in her ears as the world around her blurs, and time seems to stop.
All she knows is she can’t watch him take another hit, now that she knows who’s under the mask, and despite what he’s done, and what he didn’t do, she loves him so much it hurts, and all logic flies straight out the window as she lunges for Chat.
Save him, save him, save him—
That’s her only thought as the blade sheathes itself between her shoulder blades, piercing through her chest, and her breath is knocked out of her lungs.
~*~
There’s a second of stunned, horrified silence.
Chat Noir lets out a soul-shattering scream.
~*~
He cradles her gently, sobs ripping from his throat as he presses her against his chest, landing on a nearby rooftop. Chat hunches over her broken body, trembling, and the blood, oh God, there’s so much blood, so much of her blood on him, and he repeats her name like a prayer, like a plea to any god above for her to open her eyes and tell him that she hates him, to take him instead, please, anyone but her, he’d take her leaving him a million different ways, of her never looking him in the eye again if it means she survives, just not this, because he’s supposed to protect her, this is his fault—
His fault, his fault, his fault his fault hisfault hisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthisfault—
“Snap out of it!” a grief stricken red kwami screams, looking at him with pained, accusing eyes. His Princess lay still and pale in his lap, her pink blouse drenched with scarlet and Chat’s grip tightens on her, burying his face in her hair as her heartbeat slowly fades beneath his fingertips, and his chest threatens to cave in on itself with grief—
“Chat Noir, take her earrings.”
He doesn’t respond, whispering apologies and love confessions she’ll never hear.
“Chat Noir!”
He glances up, his face streaked with tears as the kwami looks at him with such resentment and of course, he deserves it, this is his fault, all he ever did was hurt her—
“Take her miraculous, it’s the only way you can save her.”
“Save her?” Chat chokes out, not daring to hope.
“Yes. The cure, Chat Noir.”
Save her, save her, save her—
Chat removes his ring and slides it onto his Lady’s finger, a silent vow. He presses his lips to her forehead and straightens, jaw set.
He didn’t need to be told twice.
~*~
Mister Bug comes out of hiding, his green eyes blazing with a feral thirst for vengeance.
Heaven help Ferrum—he never stood a chance.
~*~
She’s awake.
She’s clutching at her chest and staring at the ring on her finger when he lands on the rooftop, as if trying to process the fact that she’s alive and breathing. Her eyes find his, and there’s a moment of silence, of wariness, of disbelief.
Adrien calls off his transformation before barreling straight for her arms.
He holds onto her desperately, like she’s his only lifeline and he breaks in her arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—” he sobs, wetting her shirt with his tears as he presses his ear to her chest to hear her steady heartbeat. Her breath stutters and she clutches his arms tightly as she tries to gather herself, failing more and more with every shuddering, ragged cry that Adrien makes.
“I can’t lose you, I can’t, don’t ever do that again, it should’ve been me, it should’ve been me—”
Her own tears fill her eyes as the realization of what she’s done crashes down on her, and she hides her face in his hair, mourning the burden that she’s inflicted on him. She’s all-too-familiar with the nightmares that come with their job, that came with him sacrificing himself for her that she’s heartbroken she’d done the same to him.
“Please don’t say that—”
“I should’ve protected you—”
“I should’ve been faster—”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you—”
“I knew you’d save me—”
“I’d sooner give up the ring than see you hurt again—”
“I can’t do this alone—”
“I love you—”
“I still love you—”
They weren’t Chat Noir or Ladybug on that rooftop, anymore—they were Adrien and Marinette, who’ve hurt and been hurt, loved and been loved, their trust shaken and their barriers broken, and right now, everything is too much and they only had each other.
They allow themselves to finally crack, with only the other’s arms to hold their pieces together.
~*~
“I need time.”
The night breeze lets strands of her hair escape, the city lights below reflecting in her blue eyes.
“I know.”
“You know how I feel. But I just can’t… do that again to myself. Everything’s so confusing. I don’t know what’s real between us and what isn’t.” The way she plays with her hair anxiously as she struggles to find her words is so Marinette that it makes Adrien’s heart ache.
He wants to say that it’s always been real. That everything he did, everything he felt, it’s always for her, it’s always been her.
But Adrien hasn’t proven it, not by a long shot. He’s hurt her more than he thought he was ever capable, and he regrets nothing more in his life than the tears she shed because of him.
And he knows it.
So he nods.
“I understand.”
Ladybug—Marinette—looks at him with such dejected, apologetic eyes, and Adrien’s heart twinges at the sight.
“Will… we ever be the same?” he dares to ask.
Marinette looks away, and Adrien hangs his head in defeat.
“I don’t know.”
Impulsively, Adrien takes her hand in his. He half-expects her to pull away, but she only looks at him sadly.
“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do anything, everything, to make you believe that I love you. That I’ve always loved you. I promise, Marinette.”
She cracks a small but sincere smile that makes hope swell in Adrien’s chest.
“I know you will.”
Then it slips, and sadness, doubt that he put there creeps into her eyes, and she turns away.
“But we’ll see.”
~*~
Time.
Adrien can wait. He’ll wait no matter how long it takes—he’ll give her distance, time, hell, the moon and the stars if she asked it of him.
He’s willing to do anything to get her back.
Marinette is worth fighting for.
And if she needs time…
If there’s one thing that Adrien’s learned, it’s that Marinette is worth waiting for.