Chapter Text
Date: Monday 25th May 2020
Life had always moved in an effortless river, the water of life flowing in just one singular direction, sometimes as still as a windless day, and other times as violent and churning as a hurricane. The gist of it really was life constantly moved, had it’s peaceful moments and then it’s tumultuous ones, and then sometimes it stopped at a dead end and ceased to continue moving in the forward direction.
In Hinata Shoyou’s mind that’s how he defined death. The dead end riverbank of the moving river, the water having nowhere else to go so it just stops, laps at the bank and seeps into the sand but never flowing anywhere else. The journey was over, there was nowhere else to go. His life felt like that had happened even though he had not died.
His mother had though.
A year ago almost to date, June the 1st , Hinata’s life stopped moving on the path he had crafted and remained where it stood. You see, Hinata was not even 23 years old when he got the dreaded phone call in the middle of his competitive final game of beach volleyball and dropped to the sand and burst into tears.
The words forever replayed in his mind, his sister’s heartbroken, shattered and hoarse voice saying, “O-O-Nii-Nii-Onii-chan!… O-O-Okaasan… she’s… Shoyou she’s gone! You have to come home Nii-san! I need you because Okaasan is gone!”
Hinata had to up-route his entire life in Brazil, bury the name they knew him as and move back home to the quiet life he lived in the Miyagi Prefecture of Japan where he spent 19 years of his life. When he left at aged 19 to challenge the volleyball world to achieve his dream to become a professional, the fastest route for him was learning with Beach Volleyball. He never expected to return to have no parents or other family other than his high school friends and have to become the legal guardian of his little sister.
Hinata sighed as he leaned against the counter behind the cashier desk, his rouged and messy orange hair moved out of his face by the alice band he was wearing. Curse that damn Coach Ukai for getting him into this random hairstyle since he refused to cut his hair. He was still grateful for his old high school coach for helping him with this job whilst he tries to save money in preparation for his sister’s future high school choice.
His phone buzzed in his apron pocket so he pulled out his phone and flipped it open, taking note of the time, a late 7pm as Hinata played with the toothpick between his lips and opened his messaging app to his sister.
From: Nat-Chan @ 19.47pm
Onii-chan, what time will you be coming home? I picked up some of your favorite meat buns on the way home. I'm eating some with Kenma-san before doing my homework.
Sent To: Nat-Chan @ 19.48pm
Hey Nat-chan. I’m waiting for coach to return to the market so I can get on my way home. Practice with Takeda-sensei and the volleyball club must be running late.
From: Nat-Chan @ 19.50pm
I hate it when you work so late Onii-chan. :( I wish you could come home sooner so you and I could play some more volleyball like we used to.
Sent To: Nat-Chan @ 19.52pm
I’m sorry Nat-chan. I wish things were different too. I promise this weekend you and I will get to play again soon. You are going to become the ace of Niiyama Girls’ High one day after-all.
From: Nat-Chan @ 19.53pm
But of course Onii-chan. :D I have one of the best Little Giant’s as my sensei who just happens to be the best Onii-chan ever!
Sent To: Nat-Chan @ 19.53pm
Awww I love you Nat-chan. You’re the best. <3
From: Nat-Chan @ 19.54pm
Love you too Onii-chan. Ride safe. See you at home. <3
Hinata smiled at his fourteen year old, soon to be fifteen year old sister who was as nearly as tall as he was. It was infuriating, all throughout high school he was underestimated because of his height, it never deterred him though and he had grown some, being a 172cms now versus being 162cms in high school. He made up for his height by his impeccable leg strength and his vertical jump when it came to volleyball had only been increasing thanks to the terror of beach sand and the rigorous training with beach volleyball, sadly he never really did measure his true vertical jump after he had finished his training.
As he sat back in his seat, he sighed and clicked the knots that formed at the base of his neck due to sitting at such an awkward angle of leaning his chin on his hand which rested on the work surface. He could not lie to himself, the competitive urge to play volleyball again had been getting to him. His missed the loud squeaking of shoes against the floors, the feel of the volleyball laying snugly in the palm of his hand, the sound his shoes made when he made what he used to call his BOOM jump, so loud and powerful that sent him so high but sadly he had only taught himself how to do that far later in his high school career.
“Gosh I really wish I could play again." He said with a sad and disheartened voice to himself as the night continued on and a few customers came into the shop for their late night shopping.
By the time Ukai came, it was past 8.30pm and he was more than apologetic. "Thank you Hinata for waiting. I'm so sorry for being so late tonight. Takeda-sensei needed some help organizing the trip to Tokyo next week." Ukai said as he slotted his apron on and tied it as Hinata hung his in the locker room and grabbed his satchel.
"It's no problem Coach." Hinata said as he grabbed his cap out his locker, grabbing the top between his teeth whilst taking the Alice band off and leaving it in his locker and set his Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club cap the right way on his head and then proceeded to slip his jacket on. "As hard as it is, the extra shifts help me with saving for Natsu's high school tuition so I can't complain as much."
"Wow already starting high school next year. I'm sad she decided not to come to Karasuno and make the girls team as great as her brother made the boys." Ukai said with a chuckle as he lit his cigarette, taking a drag of it as he leaned against the counter.
"I tried coach but she had her heart set on Niiyama Girls’ High for quite a while now." Hinata said with a laugh as he slipped his warm hoodie on, smiling sadly at the Brazilian flag adorning the front but tried to hide his sad smile but Ukai had always been able to see through the young man.
"I know this last year hasn't been the easiest for you and Natsu." Ukai said, his eyes tender and soft as he rested a hand on Hinata's shoulder. "Just know Hinata, you are doing an amazing job given your circumstances."
"Thanks coach, but it's mostly thanks to Kenma. He was kind enough to let me and Natsu with him after all." Hinata said as he packed his belongings up. "I honestly had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to do anything. I owe a lot to a lot of people, and I sometimes forget if I ever said thank you Coach for what you did for me. This job, it's really helped me a lot." Hinata said kindly, his tone whispering thousands of thank you's. "I don't know what I would have done without your help honestly."
"I know it was hard giving up on what you were working so hard towards. Don't think you can't continue pursuing that though. You're potential is so incredible." Ukai said in a soft voice as Hinata stared at his feet. gnawing at his bottom lip.
Hinata over the last few months after adjusting finally to everything had wondered so many times about the what ifs. This last year had been the most difficult time of his life, giving up his dreams so his sister could have a somewhat normal life… even though they were practically orphans. After his father abandoned them right before he went to his middle school and Hinata had really tried to pursue volleyball, it was always just him, Natsu and his mother and now… it was just him and Natsu left and it was so hard sometimes.
“Who knows Coach if I will ever get the opportunity ever. I can’t abandon her, I’m all she has now. I won’t become him though. I won’t ever blame her for not being able to pursue my dreams because her happiness is all I care about right now. She deserves that much after everything.” Hinata said with a scowl on his face as he gripped the strap of his satchel tightly, gritting his teeth. He hated that man. He hated that man that left him and his family without a single ounce of regret and never looked back, rather opting to blame Hinata and Natsu and their mother for his apparent unhappiness.
“You’re such a remarkable kid Shoyou. If you need anything, you can come to me and Takeda-sensei. But promise me you'll eventually swing by to the center with Natsu this weekend. I am sure she would love the practice with the Neighborhood folks and the kids.” Ukai offered with a kind smile, one that Hinata remembered from many times him and his team had been beat in tournaments but the amount of love and support from this man was one he would cherish eternally. “Alright, off you go. Be safe on your ride home.”
“Thank you Coach. See you in the morning.” Hinata said with a smile as he stepped out the Sakanoshita Market and unlocked the chain around his trusty old bicycle and turned the light on.
“Bye Hinata. Don’t forget to-”
“Eat a good meal and get a good nights sleep.” Hinata finished for Ukai with a cheeky smile. “I remember Coach. Have a good night.” He said as he mounted his bike with practiced, almost rehearsed routine as he began his long ride home. He had been riding this route for years, every day of his middle school life training his muscles, building his stamina, every ride home from volleyball practice when he joined Karasuno High School, and he had returned to it for the 11 months since he had gotten this job at the market from Ukai.
Time always seemed to move at a peaceful but fast rate as he road home. Not the home where he grew up, but a home further down the hill that Kenma owned. Kozume Kenma was the definition of an entrepreneur but then again, he was also a very successful video game streamer on multiple platforms, his content was watched by tens of millions and his company he had started that actually sponsored Shoyou when he was in Brazil was growing everyday. Hinata couldn't fault Kenma on his success; Kenma was amazing and he was pretty good looking too, although some people would call him an emotionless, non-enthused individual who liked to do the bare minimum, but Hinata knew Kenma and that was completely the opposite.
Kenma was one of the most determined people he knew, and honestly, Kenma’s friendship and kindness helped Hinata through his roughest times.
When Hinata pulled up to the simple home, he smiled when he saw the lights still on, meant Kenma was still up hopefully, most probably. He parked his bike, chaining it to the bike rack and grabbed his keys and opened the door and entered the home with a smile, breathing in a sigh of relief that he had made it home safely. He proceeded to close and lock the door behind him, taking off his shoes and leaving them at the door as he shouldered off his backpack and set it by his feet, “Kenma, Nat-chan, I’m home.” He spoke out as he removed his hoodie and hung it on the rack by the door before picking his bag back up.
“Onii-chan!”
A flurry of orange exploded in Hinata’s vision, knocking the air right out of his lungs as he felt arms ensnare him in a tight embrace which he was glad to reciprocate, spinning the young woman he loved so dearly. “Oh Nat-chan I missed you so much.” He said as he set her down, pulling away and smiling down at her freckled face, rounded cheeks, beaming smile that was like the sun shining over the horizon and warming the shadows, her long orange hair pulled back into two neat and adorable pig tails that suited her. “How was your day? I want to hear all about it.” He said with a smile as he took in her appearance, realizing she was wearing his old Karasuno volleyball practice short and pajama bottoms.
“Onii-chan you won’t believe it. Mayumi-chan is such a dramatic baby, I don’t even know how-”
Hinata smiled fondly as he followed his sister, listening intently to his sister recant about her friend Mayumi and her crush problems and how it’s a crime that the cute boy in the class doesn’t even like Volleyball.
“Hey Shoyou.” Kenma greeted as Natsu continued her story whilst getting her brother the meat buns she bought for them, “Ride home safe?” Kenma said as he stepped out his streaming room, his shoulder length, black hair with blonde top that reminded Hinata of pudding was pulled back into a messy ponytail, the baggy black hoodie hanging down past Kenma’s thighs and regular tracksuit pants.
“Yeah I got home safe Kenma. Sorry for being late. I hope Natsu wasn’t trouble for your streaming schedule.” Hinata said as he glanced at Natsu who was silent, hiding her head in the fridge which made Hinata chuckle.
“Nah she was fine, although I think this Mayumi needs to learn the appropriate times to call a code red which apparently means that they discovered something negative about their crush or something.” Kenma said with a stoic expression but a mischievous twinkle in his eye as Natsu squeaked.
“I’m off to bed! Night Kenma.” Natsu said as she rushed her brother and hugged Hinata, “Love you Onii-chan. See you in the morning.” She said as she rushed up to her room.
Hinata chuckled, “I really appreciate your help you know Kenma.” Hinata said as he too a bite of the cold steamed meat bun, not that he minded.
“It’s no problem Shoyou. You’re my best friend. I’m always here for you.” Kenma said with smile as he sipped his bottle of orange juice he had grabbed. “Wanna come say hi to the stream?” Kenma offered with a smile.
Hinata smiled and shook his head, “Not tonight. I’m just gonna finish this and head to bed. Need to sleep before Ukai uses his telepathy to phone and check if I ate and am sleeping.” Hinata said with a chuckle as Kenma gave a small smile and nodded.
“By the way don’t forget I am going to to be going up to Tokyo on Friday to visit with Kuroo.” Kenma said as he headed to the game room.
“Make sure to take protection for the rooster.” Hinata said with a mischievous tone that made Kenma blush and groan.
“You’re so terrible. Why are we friends again?” Kenma said with a groan as he tried to hide his face in his hands. “Kuroo and I aren’t even dating. We’re just childhood friends. That won’t ever happen, no matter how much I want it too.” Kenma said with a sigh.
“And I’ve told you Kenma you should just tell him. I am telling you he feels the same way. Stop running from him Kenma.” Hinata said softly as he leaned against the counter, “Don’t let him get away from you and don’t use me as the reason why you can’t. I can take care of myself and Natsu.” Hinata said softly to Kenma who refused to look at him.
Kenma remained silent as he sighed, “I’ll think about it, right now I have to go.” Kenma said quickly, running into his streaming room and closing the door behind him and Hinata chuckled and shook his head, taking his meat buns and orange juice and heading up to his room, setting his belongings in the corner of the room and going to his laptop, picking it up off the table and taking it over to his bed and sat cross legged on it as his laptop loaded up.
Hinata glanced at the clock, noticing it was close to 10pm, that time should be fine. “Yeah time is alright, hope he won’t me being a little late today.” Hinata mumbled to himself as he opened up his email, a smile coming to his face when he saw he had a new email.
To: HS-VBL Boke @ 10.25PM
From: KT- VBL Baka
Subject: You’re late Boke!!!!
Seriously Boke! You better have have a valid reason for being late. I’ll be in messenger waiting for your late ass Boke. I win this time cause I was online first.
Hinata chuckled and opened up his messenger app and rolled his eyes. KT, a Volleyball obsessed idiot like Hinata himself was someone Hinata met through a interschool pen-pal program across Japan, and that was in his first year of high school. For nearly nine years, Hinata had conversed and talked with this online presence.
Boke, you absolute boke.
I know you are online.
Message me already!
Relax you baka.
I had a late shift. It’s okay though.
The extra shift and money helps.
I am sorry though for being late.
Pft boke. You owe me something.
And pray tell what do I owe you baka?
Hinata chuckled to himself in amusement. He loved the conversations with KT or baka as he often called him. You might think it strange but they currently had a bet on which one of them was going to reveal their name first to the other, their longest running personal competition between the two online pen-pals. You’d think it’s stupid but its the one constant thing that will never change between KT and Hinata. He didn’t need to know his friend’s name, don’t get Hinata wrong though, he wished he could hear KT’s voice, know his face, know if it was true when the baka told him that all his friends say he has this permanently fixed scowl on his face.
BOKE! HS BOKE YOU BOKE!!!
Lol baka. Such anger, I can almost imagine
you reaching through the computer strangling
me. Heck I can feel it all the way here in Miyagi.
You are in Miyagi right now?
Fuck, urgh I take the L this time Baka.
You win 2 points. I am at 1095 you are
at 1099 right now. I will catch next time but
yes. I live in Miyagi now. I forgot I never told
you I left Brazil. You’re gonna get mad but I
Have been living in Miyagi for almost 10 months.
Does that mean you joined the Division
now? Do I get to maybe one day play you?
Come on Boke give me some details now!
Ummm no, I actually… I had to quit. A lot of
stuff happened, I had to give up on VBL for now,
Maybe permanently. I dunno right now, just too
much going on KT. It’s family problems, I need to
be here in Japan right now.
I have to say I’m pretty hurt you didn’t tell
me HS. Like, I thought we were closer than
that. I mean I thought of you as my best
friend, but I guess you did not trust me
enough to tell me shit happened huh.
Some friend I am that you couldn’t tell
me something for over a year.
I’m sorry KT.
Hinata could feel the hurt in his pen-pal’s written words. He wished he could find some way to alleviate his friends worries and trepidation but he couldn’t find it in himself to tell him. Hinata was ashamed to tell his friend that he had given up on volleyball but he couldn’t find it in him to tell him the reason why, it still hurt to much to relive, and remember. He missed his Okaasan so much, he yearned for her kind songs she’d sing to him when he and Natsu had nightmares. He longed for the delicious bentos she’d make for him and Natsu everyday, the smile and warm embrace as she set him off on his morning ride to school every day.
He missed hearing her say I love you, not even the voice message she sent him the day before he died did justice to hearing her tell it to him in person.
He looked up at his screen and saw that KT had gone offline and Hinata sighed, having been left on read and he sighed as he thumped his head against the wall, wanting to cry. He’d already lost his mom, he didn’t want to lose KT too. KT was the one who had always been there for him regardless of how moody or angry he seemed. KT was awkward at first, but he was kind and gentle in his own awkward way, he was always there to talk to Hinata when he spent lonely nights questioning his life choices when he moved to Brazil.
Beach volleyball had been so hard, and so many times he didn’t wanted to quit and move back home, but KT had pushed him, challenged him like he always had, and Hinata pushed and pushed and the progress had shown, he was so much more, so much better and his determination only ever grew stronger because of KT and now… Hinata was close to losing the one other person he wasn’t ready to lose.
So he took a deep breath and typed his response and closed his computer and set it on the table and opted to go have a bath before bed.
Of course I trust you. I trust you enough to
do this because I don’t want you to think I
don’t trust you KT.
My name is Hinata Shoyou.
A few days later:
Date: Friday 29th May 2020
It had been a few days now since Hinata had heard from KT and it was safe to say that Hinata felt and looked like absolute shit. He looked worse than he did when he collapsed in the middle of a match at Nationals and he had to be pulled out of the match because he could physically not continue no matter how driven he was and how much love in his heart he had for his team.
He'd checked messenger and he had seen that KT had seen and read his message but had not responded to his message in any way.
So Hinata continued on, missing his late night conversation in the dark with his friend KT, barely sleeping at night, being tormented by nightmares and stress and trying to organize food for his sister who was was going to be spending two weeks with her friend Mayumi starting today so he had seen her off with her belongings and Kenma had shipped off to Tokyo for the weekend to visit Kuroo so Hinata had the weekend free to himself. The last thing Hinata wanted to be was alone so he figured he'd probably go play with Ukai and the Karasuno Neighborhood Association Team this weekend get some practice in. It had always been so hard for Hinata when he started because to be honest he had started learning a lot of the basics very late but it was mainly because of the incredible team members who knew he sucked but devoted time to help him learn and grow.
"Hinata, stop day dreaming, you have a customer in front of you!" Ukai yelled from the other side of the store, breaking Hinata out of his stupor as he blushed sheepishly and apologized.
"My apologies sir." Hinata said with his face bowed, having not observed the person's face yet. "How can I-"
Hinata froze mid-sentence as he stared at the strange figure with the hood of his hoodie raised on his head, a mixed toned blue cap on his head and a pair of sunglasses hanging loosely on the edge of his nose but even with the closing Hinata recognized him.
The man with the most intense but beautiful blue eyes stared back at Hinata as he stood frozen, there was an odd hope in the man's eyes, but he seemed awkward and uncertain. "Are you Hinata Shoyou?" The familiar man asked.
Hinata nodded in his frozen stupor before he shook out of it and frowned, "Yes, how do you know my name is Hinata Shoyou specifically though?" He inquired with a raised brow, although a little part of him was having a mind melt at exactly who was standing in front of him.
"Kageyama Tobio. KT. Nice to meet you HS." The man said quietly as Hinata's eyes widened and his mind went from blank to HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!!!!! in a matter of seconds.
KT, was Kageyama Tobio, one of the best Pro Volleyball Setters... and he was Hinata Shoyou's pen-pal.
"HOLY FUCK!"