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Taehyun wonders if he really fits in.
And it’s crazy because he and Beomgyu have known each other for longer than they both know Soobin, but as he watches them bicker like an old couple, like they’ve known each other forever, Taehyun wonders.
The insecurity he has over this string is something he keeps hidden from them. Taehyun doesn’t know how to bring it up. How to say that he feels envy.
Envious that their soulmate bond is strong, unsevered , reciprocated. Taehyun can’t possibly say that to them, he loves them both. But he can’t help but feel .
Their love shouldn’t be a slap to his face, not when he knows he’s a part of it.
Taehyun stares at their pinkies, where their connected string of fate would be, and he looks at his own. Severed, seperated, braided with colourful thread that he hasn’t changed in a few weeks now. Taehyun’s heart pangs. He’s wanted now but why is he dwelling on the soulmate that didn’t want him.
Perhaps that’s just it. Rejection is rejection and it still hurts, maybe more if it’s from a person the universe deemed to be your other half, soulmate. It should be easier to get over, it’s a faceless, nameless person. Still Taehyun can’t help but feel envy.
He wonders if in another life he’d be connected to one of them. If he would be connected with Beomgyu, maybe Soobin. Taehyun wonders why the universe decided on two and not multiple. Why the nature of everything has to be in two. Taehyun begins to wonder that the string may not have a higher significance than it does. That it’s all just in our heads, formed by society to keep a hold on the people.
All he doesn’t voice to his boyfriends. How can he when they both look so happy. There must be a significance. There has to be.
But what does it mean for him?
Beomgyu notices Taehyun’s silence. Beomgyu always notices. He sits closer to Taehyun.
“Hey.”
At first, Taehyun just hums and continues staring straight ahead of him. Soobin skated off into the distance, trying to practice his balance. He stumbles and almost falls to the floor, Beomgyu lets out a laugh, finding Soobin adorable. Then Beomgyu nudges Taehyun on his shoulders.
“What’s up? How come you aren’t skating?” Beomgyu asks. When Taehyun turns to look at him, Beomgyu looks concerned. Bug eyes and all, how he always looks when he’s concerned. Taehyun wants to wipe it off his face.
He balances his skateboard on his legs and cups Beomgyu’s face with his hands, Beomgyu scrunches his features.
“Nothing’s up, I’m just resting my legs.” Taehyun half-lies, dragging out the syllables to make himself sound more lighthearted. He is just resting his legs but the thoughts in his head don't feel right. Taehyun lets go of Beomgyu’s face.
“You just put your nasty hand all over my face, you sicko.” Beomgyu complains, disgust written all over his face. Taehyun laughs at him.
“The nasty hand that you love to hold?” Taehyun plays.
Beomgyu is about to retort back when Soobin yells loudly and the sound of his skateboard rolling fast makes both of their heads turn towards him, Beomgyu standing up from his place. He fell on his back. Soobin lets out a drawn out groan.
“You guys are ass teachers!” Soobin yells at them when he sits up. They start to walk towards him, Beomgyu trying to stifle his laugh.
“Darling, don’t cry now. You’ll be okay.” Beomgyu teases, crouching beside him to check if he’s injured. Soobin glares at him, grabs the string near Beomgyu’s pinkie and tugs, making Beomgyu stumble forward towards him. “Hey!”
“You’re so mean to me, Taehyun care me.” Soobin pouts. The exchange was an anomaly to witness since Taehyun can’t see the string, but they do it so often that he can’t be too phased by it. Taehyun offers his hand to Soobin. “Thank you, Taehyun my love.” Soobin sticks his tongue out at Beomgyu as he stands up.
Beomgyu gasps scandalously on the floor, “What about me?!”
“Your ‘my love’ privileges have been revoked.”
They’re bickering again, this time Soobin’s hand is still clasped into Taehyun’s. Taehyun just moves closer to Soobin, leaning his head on his shoulder.
“Hyung, to be fair you said you were going to practice without any help after our attempts at teaching you.”
Soobin almost lets go of Taehyun’s hand but Taehyun doesn’t let him. He glares at Soobin from his shoulder. Soobin has his face set in an exaggerated frown but he doesn’t try to pull away from Taehyun again. Taehyun softens his gaze.
“Fine, no ‘my love’ privileges to you both, I can’t believe this.” Soobin keeps frowning, pulls Taehyun’s hand closer to his body and burrows his head on Taehyun’s. “I fell on my ass and my boyfriends gang up on me, saying ‘I told you so.’ Whatever.” Soobin fake sniffles and Taehyun chuckles.
Beomgyu rolls his eyes with a smile. “You overgrown baby, you will live. That’s how you learn to skateboard, you have to fall a few times.” He walks to the two of them, who are sharing this odd half-hug, and hugs them both. Never one to miss physical affection. Taehyun smiles. Beomgyu looks at him, his doe eyes wide once again. “Tyun, are you tired?”
Taehyun nods and this time it’s not a lie. They’ve been in the skatepark for almost the entire evening and it’s starting to hit him.
“Aww, the baby is tired. Don’t worry I’ll take you home,” Soobin jokes, facing him with their hands still intertwined, using his free hand to squish his cheeks.
Taehyun tries to bite Soobin’s hand, grabbing it with his own free one to hold it too. “Asshole.” He curses at Soobin while he pulls him back and forth, rocking him. Beomgyu clinging onto his side. “You guys don’t have to go if you still want to stay, but I think I’m gonna head out.” Taehyun suggests.
Immediately, Beomgyu is linking his arms with Taehyun, “Nope, I’m going wherever you are.”
Soobin finally lets go of both of Taehyun’s hands without any resistance, only to link his arms with Taehyun too. “Yeah, I’m ready to go. Me eating dirt was the last straw.” Beomgyu and Taehyun double in laughter. Soobin beams at the both of them.
They start walking back to Soobin’s apartment. Beomgyu chose the place because, “ It’s closer and it has a bigger bed. ” They sleep over at each other’s places a lot but they don’t share a bed together often. It’s hard for it to be comfortable for three overgrown men to fit in one bed, but it seems tonight Beomgyu deems an exception.
Taehyun’s feet start to feel tired after a few minutes, it’s nothing he can’t handle. “The baby’s feet are tired, will you guys carry me?” But he wants to mess around with his boyfriends for a little bit longer.
And as expected, a collective, “Hell no.” and, “Nope.” comes out both of their mouths at the same time and Taehyun giggles.
“You look fine, we’re almost there.” Beomgyu tells him, and he knows. With his boyfriends both at his sides, he’s never felt more warm like this.
There really shouldn’t be anything to worry about.
Taehyun fits right in.