Work Text:
Shen Qingqiu had always been aware that no matter how much effort he had placed, the secrets he yearned to hide would be exposed.
It was a cycle he was exposed to, and once his secrets would be out for the public to know. It would be a right assumption that his enemies like Huan Hua's old palace master would take advantage of it, and create more stories to weaken his position as a peak lord.
That would take a huge hit towards his position as a peak lord.
After all, It was no accident that rumors about his weak cultivation were known to people as well as his private visits to the brothels. It was all because of that bastard, Liu Qingge.
That bastard had always assumed the worst of him, especially when he fought against the male with the dirty tricks that he had always looked down on.
Ever since then, he and that brute would bump heads at each other every time they would meet and he was one of the main culprits of his lecher reputation along with Qi Qingqi who immediately assumed perverted thoughts about his visits.
Although he and Qi Qingqi may have fanned the rumors in the sect, Shen Jiu inwardly knew that the reason why it had become well known in the cultivation world would be due to that perverted old man's influence and even his Shizun had expressed some evidences to prove this theory, especially when they both knew that the old man hated him as he had some involvement in the sect's power.
Shen Qingqiu’s green eyes narrowed at the thought of the annoying male as he scrunched his nose in annoyance. He grimaced at the thought of the annoying brute of a gorilla.
Throughout his life, He had always known fate was against him and he had always expected the public to find out about his past and weaknesses, but he had not expected his trauma to be used against him for the sake of exposure.
Men are manipulative scums. Shen Jiu had always been aware of that fact ever since he was begging on the streets with naive little Qi-ge.
As a male, he had been aware that he wasn't a good person either, especially with the amount of blood that he had spilled onto his hands. But what triggered his hatred towards men the most, were the times where he had suffered under the hands of Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi.
Living underneath the rugged hands of those two scums, he was subjected to all types of abuse whether it involved his physical, mental and his emotional health.
Shen Jiu had faced every type of abuse whether it involved his body being beaten and bruised, mental knives embedded onto his insecurities or the constant suffering of being sexually used by those sadistic bastards.
After what he has been through, it was no wonder how Shen Qingqiu became the scum he is today who yearned for the affection of women in the brothels as his emotional and mental scars were left alone and has never been bothered to heal.
There was no way Shen Qingqiu would willingly expose his humiliations and weaknesses for someone to know, how was that supposed to make him feel better?
He would feel vulnerable for the world to see, as they would be aware of all the scars printed onto him. Shen Qingqiu would rather die than go through that experience.
As Shen Qingqiu sat in the meeting room and felt suffocated at the sight of his “martial siblings” around him, he snapped his painted fan open. He eyed his fellow peak lords looking at him with eyes of doubt and disdain. Shen Qingqiu despised them.
He loathed these martial siblings of his as they preached about trusting their fellow peak lords and disciples, yet they would willingly doubt and discriminate against one of their own.
The hypocrisy being flaunted in front of him made Shen Qingqiu snort at their contradictions against their beliefs. He and rat bastard Shang Qinghua were often the ones who suffered underneath their neglect from their sect, due to the fact that both of them had the weakest cultivation root amongst the twelve.
Shang Qinghua and his peak were often overworked from the responsibilities other peaks threw at them as their efforts were barely acknowledged. He, on the other hand, gets their supplies delivered late and his disciples often get attacked by other peak disciples especially those Bai Zhan monkeys’ underneath Liu Qingge.
Shen Qingqiu eyed the sect leader sitting in the middle as he narrowed his misty green eyes at the male who looked at him with that annoying kicked puppy expression.
He wanted to smack the man in the head with his hands, and reprimand the male for doing his responsibilities as a sect leader rather than stay silent and look at him with those eyes filled with guilt. It irritated Shen Jiu to no end.
He flicked his fan closed as he slammed his palm onto the table, catching the others’ attention.
“Zhangmen-shixiong. Is there a reason why you called us to this damn meeting today? This master has more responsibilities to do in his peak rather than stand around and do nothing, so you better have a good explanation to why you called us here.“
“Ah, yes. Qingqiu-shidi.. I was about to inform you about it. " Yue Qingyuan spoke as he released an awkward smile. Shen Qingqiu sneered at his display, covering his expression with his wooden fan.
Ignoring the looks of dismay the peak lords have given to Shen Qingqiu, he continued. "I was just informed by Shang Qinghua that Lord Wang from the Ying Wang sect has sent us an invite for the celebration of his son's one month anniversary. "
Yue Qingyuan coughed to clear his throat before he continued. “ I have already decided that some of the peak lords would go along with me to attend the celebration as the rest of our martial siblings stay to protect the mountain while we are gone. ”
“So we get to decide who would go and stay? If that’s the case then I would stay behind, “ Wei Qingwei piped up. “I'd rather stay behind, since I have already gone for the last two gatherings. “
Several other peak lords nodded in agreement as they offered to stay behind. Qi Qingqi narrowed her eyes at her martial siblings as she stood up, holding her head up high and glanced at the Bai Zhan peak lord who was busy glaring at a certain man.
“In that case, Zhangmen-shixiong. I would also like to come with you, and we should drag Liu-shidi with us as well. “
Liu Qingge glanced at her direction as his obsidian eyes narrowed. “Why should I go, Qi-shijie?”
“You have barely attended any of these gatherings!! As a peak lord, you need to use your brain outside of fighting and participate in these events to represent the sect!”
“Last time I checked, I didn’t need to attend any gatherings as a peak lord." Liu Qingge responded as he grimaced at the thought of socializing when he could have used that time to hunt more beasts in the nearby town.
Qi Qingqi huffed as she crossed her arms and glared at him in irritation. "As a Bai Zhan Peak Lord, you are obligated to attend these types of events. Your job isn't all about hunting beasts. I am surprised that your peak is still functioning especially when you neglect your paperwork and push them to your head disciple! "
Shen Qingqiu snorted at her words. Liu Qingge glared at the man who was looking at his predicament with an amused smirk.
"Well, Liu-shidi. You must be glad that your head disciple is able to do your duties better than you do? After all, what duties can the Bai Zhan peak lord fulfill other than slaughtering beasts like the brainless barbarian he is. "
It was a miracle that Bai Zhan Peak had not fallen with how neglectful Liu Qingge was with his duties especially with his disciples. Fortunately for the brute, he had chosen a competent disciple to handle his work. He could deny that he felt envious at the brute's luck and he was not even grateful for what he had.
Liu Qingge scowled at his words, "At least I am not one who would take advantage of my own disciple and bully them for the insecurity of their own cultivation roots. "
Shen Qingqiu clenched his fist and his hand started to pale from the strength he had given. His face paled at the man's words as he glared at the male with anger.
Who was that brute to assume that he would even take advantage of his own disciples?! He wasn't like that disgusting bastard, Wu Yanzi!! His temper rose at the mention of him bullying his own disciples out of envy. How would Liu Qingge know the sufferings he had gone through to get here? How could he, out of all people, have the audacity to say that he was bullying his own disciple when that brute would beat up his disciples as training and leave them there?!
The more Shen Qingqiu thought about the male's background, the more envy he felt bubbling inside him. Why couldn't he also experience those things that have been given to Liu Qingge?
At a young age, he had strong cultivation roots like the man, but why was he so unlucky to encounter Wu Yanzi who had planned to destroy his roots? Why is it the meatheaded bastard was born with everything in his life while he and Yue Qingyuan had to beg and starve on the streets to get even just an ounce of good will?
Shen Qingqiu felt enraged at the male. How dare he accuse him of being a spoiled brat who had been given everything from the moment he was born.
The Qing Jing peak's lord was red from shame and anger. Yue Qingyuan noticed this and immediately came to his rescue. He stood up, and tried to appease the tension between them.
"Liu-shidi, Please don't immediately make assumptions of Qingqiu-shidi and calm down. " He pleaded but Liu Qingge scoffed and continued to glare at Shen Qingqiu.
This act of defense triggered Qi Qingqi's temper who was watching the sect leader come into the male's defense as always.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, what Liu-shidi said weren't just assumptions!! These were rumors that are known by the peaks!! Why are you wasting your time defending a scum like Shen Qingqiu?! He is just-"
"Qi Qingqi!" Yue Qingyuan exclaimed sternly. The female silenced herself at her sect leader's commanding tone as he held a serious expression on his face. Qi Qingqi glanced around the room, looking at her martial siblings as she tried to explain her actions.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, I-" she tried to speak but she was cut off by Yue Qingyuan.
"Qi-shimei, That is enough. Qingqiu-shidi has a higher rank of seniority, so I request that you address him with his respected status. "
Qi Qingqi quieted down as she glared at the Qing Jing peak lord who sat onto his seat in a nonchalant manner.
"Yes, Zhangmen-shixiong.. "
Shen Qingqiu watched Qi Qingqi sit down on her seat as her eyes glared at him with anger and disdain. He hated when this happened. The assumptions and rumors that were spread by his former shixiong due to envy for gaining their Shizun's favor. He despised how these rumors have ruined his entire reputation especially with his so-called “martial siblings” spreading them out for the world to know.
Yue Qingyuan calmed down and looked at Shen Qingqiu who was glued to his seat. He approached the man, eyes filled with guilt and worry.
"Xiao-Jiu, are you alright? Did her words hurt you? Don't worry Qi-ge will get rid of those rumors for you and-"
"Zhangmen-shixiong, I remember stating that I preferred not to be called by that name once more as I didn't want to remember the regretful memories of the past that included your broken promises. "
Shen Qingqiu flicked his fan open. He scornfully looked at Yue Qingyuan, who flinched at his reminder. Stupid Qi-ge, why do you easily give out promises that you can't even bother to keep?
The thought of this man's apologies made his temper rise, despite the amount of pleads and regrets being spoken in that mouth. In the end, his words were just broken promises that kept him hoping for something as he would unknowingly stab him with betrayal.
Shen Qingqiu would rather not experience that once more. Yue Qingyuan muttered those silent apologies from his mouth as always. The sight of the two made the peak lords' skins boil.
The peak lords who were spectating this scene were looking at Shen Qingqiu with loathing eyes as they had immediately thought of him as a nuisance who had been envious of Yue Qingyuan, since his arrival.
Shen Jiu saw this, and ignored the pang that he felt inside as he clenched his fan. He had always known that they would be in Yue Qingyuan's side and how they were against him due to his unwanted attitude towards their sect leader. They never bothered to understand his side of the story, how they sided with a man who held words of empty promises and gave a boy false hope about how he will be saved from the hell that he has been pulled into.
"Shen Qingqiu, That's enough. You should learn to respect the Sect Leader, even if you managed to win his favor. " The peak lord of the beast taming peak, Shu Qingyi spoke.
"Indeed, it would be better of you to keep your mouth shut if all you are going to do is criticize everyone here for your gains. " The peak lord of alcohol, Hu Qingtao also spoke as he looked at Shen Qingqiu with criticizing eyes.
"Indeed, you must learn how to control your temper. Shen-shixiong, your ire towards Yue-shixiong is causing him pain though he has done nothing wrong but treat you well. " Wei Qingwei expressed as he glanced at Yue Qingyuan with eyes of pity, ignorant of what the male had did to a pitiful boy who fell for his kindness.
With those protests and criticism coming out of his fellow martial siblings' mouths, he could only scoff at their ignorance, although he had felt a tinge of hurt in his heart.
Shen Qingqiu had already gotten used to these words, but why do they still hurt so much? Why was he getting affected by his ignorant martial siblings' words? They have everything they wanted in their lives as they were blessed with a good lifestyle and cultivation. How would they even know what he had been through?
The thought of these comments made Shen Qingqiu clenched his fan even tighter. His face grew paler at the comments. He bit his inner lip to keep himself from releasing the choked sob he held in his throat.
He hated being this pathetic. He would have shut them up by now with words lashed out from his scornful tongue, but for some reason, nothing seemed to come out from him. That made Shen Qingqiu feel more vulnerable, he just turned around and walked out of the room, bumping into passing disciples who looked at him with shock as he ran away, like what he does to all his problems.
He felt lonely and hurt. Shen Qingqiu hated feeling this weak and vulnerable. He didn't want to be alone in his cold bedroom in Qing Jing, so he thought it would be better for him to go down the mountain and get some comfort from Madam Hu and the older sisters.
They had always been there, during these times. He didn't care about the stupid rumors Liu Qingge will make about him visiting. All he cared about was to feel the warmth and safety in their arms. It was humiliating for him to feel this openly towards others, aside from the brothel sisters. They have never assumed the worst and took care of him as they gave him the love that he yearned for.
__________________________________
Despite the commotion he had left in the meeting room and his visit to the Red Pavilion brothel was leaked once more, Yue Qingyuan still thought that it was a good idea to bring him to Huang Du along with the stupid brute, Qi Qingqi, Mu Qingfang and Shang Qinghua
Shen Qingqiu sighed as he rather stayed cooped up in that peak of his, rather than be with these fake bitches who approach him with bad intentions. It sickened him. He didn't want to be stuck in a city that paraded it's wealth towards the common people.
But despite the peaceful small talks he had with some people in the celebration, Shen Qingqiu was oddly cautious. He had a bad feeling on his stomach, it was too quiet and peaceful.
Shen Qingqiu wouldn't pay any mind to the peaceful and quiet environment, he often yearned for it when he was staying in his bamboo house as he never wanted to listen to the sound of his disciples being noisy while he's doing his work.
But something about this silence made him cautious, Shen Jiu is unaware of why he felt that way, but it was the same gut feeling that he felt underneath Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi. As it hit him, Shen Qingqiu felt his heart drop.
Shen Qingqiu's head started pounding from the various thoughts and traumatic memories that came through his head.
The chattering environment and the loud voices of people around him made his head even hurt more. There were too many things to focus on. It made the ringing in his head grow louder and louder.
As various conversations continued to engage, Shen Jiu felt like it was suffocating. It made his head hurt more and he felt the ringing on his ear was blasting onto his eardrums.
It's overwhelming, especially when Shen Qingqiu found himself surrounded by various men - vicious manipulative men all around the area. Men who were willing to manipulate, and use others as they would throw them away after their usage.
Shen Qingqiu's face was getting paler. The more time passed, he felt like it was getting harder to breathe. The more he looked around, the more he felt irritated at the sight of these men giving each other fake smiles. It irritated him, and he hated the feeling.
Perhaps it would be better that he stay away from the chatter, Shen Jiu thought to himself. It may be too much for him to handle. He was usually able to maintain his composure around people, but today, he seemed more drained than usual.
Liu Qingge then walked by with that grumpy expression on his pretty face, his eyes narrowed at the sight of the crowd as he muttered curses at Qi Qingqi who thought it would be a good idea to tell him that he needs to get out of his battle obsessed ass, and socialize with others.
How curious that he chose to go all the way down the peak to socialize instead of going to his disciples...He may be able to tolerate people with good will, but majority of the cultivators here were ones who just scatter at the sight of him or bastards who he never wanted to associate with.
Liu Qingge narrowed his obsidian eyes at the crowd, he spotted that bastard Shen Qingqiu's pristine green robes on the corner who seemed paler than usual and his grumpy expression mixed with slight exhaustion. The man looked to have clenched his fist on his fan tighter than usual, and it was just weird to see that man who usually acts so cold, looks this vulnerable.
As much as he did not want to approach him, since he wasn't fond of that insulting mouth of his, even he couldn't help himself from worrying about the unusual behavior of his rival. Liu Qingge grew closer to the male.
"Oi, Shen Qingqiu. Why are you acting so weird? "
Shen Qingqiu sneered at the man who called out to him as he flicked his fan open and placed it in front of his face, unaware that his thoughts seemed to distract himself from the anxious thoughts he had earlier to irritation of the man's voice.
"Liu-shidi, I wasn't aware that you could show an expression of concern towards this master. I am fine, if you excuse me, I don't have any time to deal with you right now. " Liu Qingge frowned at the words as he moved closer to the crowd.
"Oi, Shen Qingqiu! You bastard, just listen-"
Shen Qingqiu tried to get away from Liu Qingge, the male merchants and nobles that were trying to engage into a conversation as he didn’t want to deal with these people in these rooms.
The words of fake compliments made him sick as they gossip about the bad things behind his back. He needed some time off the event, and decided to go outside the gardens of the mansion.
As Shen Qingqiu successfully got away from the gathering, he bumped into someone which caused him to take a step backwards from the collision.
"Please excuse me-" Shen Qingqiu uttered weakly as his face started getting paler and his breathing was ragged. He felt his palms sweating.
Shen Qingqiu did not want to deal with this today, and the fact he lost his composure that he accidentally collided with someone made him want to bury himself on the deep grounds in shame. If someone had seen him lose his composure, it would surely be gossiped about by the people.
"Watch where you’re going-! Oh, Peak Lord Shen. Hello, I apologize for bumping into you. If you don't remember me , I am the merchant who escorted you in your last night hunt in the Tang village."
The greasy voice of a man interrupted his thoughts and sent shivers down his spine.
As Shen Qingqiu flicked his slender palms onto his robes, dusting nonexistent dust from the collision, he looked up and came face to face with a man who was wearing a lot of golden accessories.
Merchant Huang Yutian. Shen Qingqiu inwardly sneered in disgust at the male wearing enough jewelry to show off his wealth. One ring of his would have fed him through his time on the streets.
He met the male during his mission in getting rid of water spirits in Tang Village, and was quite persistent, as he followed him everywhere. Shen Qingqiu felt the male's eyes on his figure and his gaze sent shivers downhis spine as he wanted to cover up his whole body with robes. He never wanted the male's eyes wandering around his body once more.
Shen Qingqiu never liked Huang Yutian. He gave off the red flags he didn't want to encounter. The worst kind of male there was. If he had known that Huang Yutian would be out here, he would have stayed in the manor with Lord Wang celebrating his son's one month anniversary.
Although Shen Qingqiu was filled with petty judgement of the man's appearance, he presented himself with an aloof expression as he spoke.
"Merchant Huang, what brings you to this event? I was not aware that you would be attending these types of gatherings..." If he was aware of his presence here, he would have avoided him at all cost…
"Of course, Peak lord Shen! I was informed that you and your martial siblings will be attending, so I will not miss it. I cannot thank you enough for exterminating that spirit from our village. Xiuya's wielder was just as strong as the rumors spoke, but... "
The man's voice trailed as he narrowed his eyes, inspecting Shen Qingqiu's pristine robes which were eagerly hugging his waist. His slender and pale hand gripped tightly onto his fan, and his wrist looked quite delicate as a man's wrist.
The merchant glanced at Shen Qingqiu's looks as the man himself felt uncomfortable at the gaze and felt nauseous. He felt shivers crawl down his spine. Huang Yutian's gaze triggered the horrible memories Shen Jiu carried when he was that little slave boy that Qiu Jianluo used to love,beat, and bruise with words that manipulated a restrained Shen Jiu.
The lustful eyes and the sweet coaxing of his manipulative words had given Shen Qingqiu the image of Qiu Jianluo in front of him. Shen Qingqiu felt his body tremble at the signs of his tormentor as he tried to calm himself by reminding himself that he had died.
"I noticed it back then, but Peak lord Shen is much more of a beauty than expected.."
Huang Yutian hummed eagerly, his lewd eyes trailing onto Shen Qingqiu's figure which disgusted him to the point he felt like puking. His head started pounding once more as his ears kept ringing.
He remembered the sick feeling of those eyes trailing his body and the compliments about how good he looked. He remembered how satisfied they were once they had used him and led him into despair. He remembered the harsh handlings and pain that he felt once he was being filled as a hole for men to satisfy.
Shen Qingqiu hated it. He would rather die than feel what he felt back then. He remembered feeling humiliated, flinching at every touch from the men around him as his body braced itself for being used once more as a whore to satisfy their perverted pleasure.
As Shen Qingqiu paled at the thoughts occupying his head, he tried to regain his composure and get away from the man as far as possible. His ears rang even louder than before. His head hurt and his eyesight blurred. He had to get away from here!
"Merchant Huang, if you excuse me. I have something I need to deal with. "
Shen Qingqiu turned around, trying to get away from the man. His eyes were wide in terror as his breathing was rather ragged from his memories. Just as he took a step, a hand held onto his wrist which caused Shen Qingqiu to flinch as he looked at the owner of the hand in slight terror.
"Merchant Huang, let go of my wrist. "
There was no longer a need for him to be polite. Shen Qingqiu had lost all of his senses to mind his manners in this situation. He spoke bluntly and didn’t care if he offended the man. As long as he gets away from the man, he will feel better.
Shen Qingqiu tried to shake his grip off his wrist, but the merchant's grip was held too tightly. As the merchant looked at him with amusement, he purred in the peak lord’s ear. “Don’t be like that, Peak Lord Shen. Stick around for a little while and I ensure that you will enjoy your time with me.”
The more he spoke with his eyes looking at him with lust, the more Shen Qingqiu hastily tried to pull his wrist away from the man. His thoughts were jumbled at similar situations from his past and he lost his composure.
He kept pulling his wrist away from the man, but the man kept a tight hold onto it. Shen Qingqiu's eyes were filled with terror, his face was pale and his usual expression wasn't there. Instead it was replaced with fear and terror.
"Let go..!"
Shen Qingqiu's voice started to get louder as it sounded through the gardens. He didn’t care whether somebody saw this. All he wanted to focus on was getting the disgusting hand off his wrist...!
It reminded him of the huge hands that gripped his wrists together so he couldn't struggle much as they used him for their own sexual needs.
Huang Yutian saw Shen Qingqiu's panic and felt more excited at his expression. He wanted to bring this man into his bed chambers and look at him with that same fear in his eyes. The terror in his eyes was just perfect. His wrist was small and delicate that he was afraid that he would break it upon his touch.
The male wanted to keep the Qing Jing peak lord as a doll in his bedroom chambers for him to enjoy. He was sure that the man would definitely be perfect! As soon as he saw the male's looks, he was just the doll that he desperately wanted to keep!! He must not let him go-
Shen Qingqiu's eyes were dilated as an expression of horror was splattered on his face. He didn't care about his reputation or image anymore. He was obviously terrified. His eyes were wide in terror as he kept tugging his wrist away from the man, not caring if he broke his wrist in doing so. He just wanted to get away and all-
Shen Qingqiu felt like he could no longer breathe. His breathing grew more ragged and too fast. His eyes were dilated and his usual neat appearance was ruined from the panic, his tousled hair and wrinkled robes clear to see because of the struggle he did to escape Huang Yutian’s grip.
As Shen Jiu was stuck in a state of hysteria, a white robed man with a ponytail pushed Huang Yutian who fell back from the force of the person's hand.
Shen Qingqiu felt his legs shake as his lower body collapsed from the terror he felt. As his upper body started shaking, he wrapped his arms around himself as a sign of comfort towards himself.
Liu Qingge sneered at the sight of Huang Yutian on the ground before he turned back and faced Shen Qingqiu's figure, collapsed onto the ground.
Liu Qingge was looking for Shen Qingqiu since the sly bastard managed to lose himself in the crowd. As he was searching for the man in the gardens, he would never have expected to see the Qing Jing peak lord look like this.
Throughout the years that he has known Shen Qingqiu, the man had always had a scowl or a sneer on his face. He never saw the man express any other type of emotion and never did he think that he would see his rival with an expression of terror towards someone.
That made Liu Qingge rage so he kicked the man away from Shen Qingqiu. The bastard rolled backwards as Liu Qingge turned around to see whether the Qing Jing lord was okay. He saw the man collapse onto the floor with his arms wrapped around himself, his body trembling at what he just experienced.
Never did Liu Qingge want to see this man with that expression again. He glanced back at the bastard who looked at him with fear in his eyes, clearly recognizing who he was as he tried to scamper away from him.
Liu Qingge felt disgusted at the man, surely involved in whatever made Shen Qingqiu act the way he did. He must have done something disgusting to make the composed male act the way he did, and he hated him for that.
As Liu Qingge walked towards the bastard, he grabbed him by his collar to prevent the male from escaping. He heard the familiar voices of his martial siblings.
"Liu-shidi? What is going o- Xiao-Jiu!! "
He glanced back and saw the stunned expression of his martial siblings who were staring at Shen Qingqiu before they looked at him with serious expressions.
"Liu-shidi, What happened? "
Yue Qingyuan narrowed his eyes at him with a serious expression as he glanced at the male he was holding with a confused gaze.
Liu Qingge sneered, dropping the bastard onto the ground as he knew the male had no chance of running away from whatever he did to Shen Qingqiu.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, I don't really know what happened. All I know is that this bastard had caused Shen Qingqiu to reach this state. "
His other martial siblings looked stunned and they were confused. What has he done to make Shen Qingqiu turn in that kind of state?
Yue Qingyuan looked at his precious Xiao-Jiu who was still terrified, trembling from whatever he had experienced. He glared at the man whose face was planted onto the cold hard ground.
"Liu-shidi, bring that man back. As much as I want to find out what happened to Xiao-Jiu, I am afraid he wouldn't want to be exposed here any longer. "
Liu Qingge and the others glanced back at the Qing Jing lord.
"Yes, Zhangmen-shixiong."
As Liu Qingge lifted the bastard and dragged the male away, Mu Qingfang looked at his martial siblings who stood there, still stunned at what they've seen and clueless on what to do with Shen Qingqiu as they glanced at him.
Seeing that they had no idea what to do, Mu Qingfang sighed and he decided to take a closer look into Shen-shixiong's state.
As Mu Qingfang grew closer, he noticed that his skin was looking paler and his lips were bruised with blood. His eyes were dilated and his facial expression was just filled with pure terror.
"Shen-shixiong, Are you alrigh-"
Mu Qingfang tried to comfort Shen Qingqiu as he tried to grab onto the male's hand for comfort, but as soon as he touched the man, Shen Qingqiu flinched at his touch, turned his head around, and pushed him away with an alarmed expression which caused Mu Qingfang to stumble backwards.
"Get away from me! Let me go, you bastard!!"
Shen Qingqiu had started to panic. He looked at Mu Qingfang with scorn in his eyes, he scrambled his body away from the man and wrapped his arms around his sides
glared at Mu Qingfang as he pulled his knees to his chest and started bundling himself, shielding what was left of him from the outside world. His arms wrapped around his knees, trembling at the sight of him.
Shen Qingqiu couldn't see that who was in front of him was Mu Qingfang; instead, what he saw was one of Qiu Jianluo’s older associates who used gentle words to deceive him as he bruised and beat him as a sign of his affection.
He was muttering those repeated words like he seemed to have forgotten that he was no longer in that situation. Shen Qingqiu was trapped in his own memories of trauma as the sight of the merchant had reminded him too much of his past.
Yue Qingyuan's eyes looked at Xiao-Jiu's state in worry. He approached the male who was muttering incomprehensible words as he attempted to comfort him, like he had done when they were children.
Mu Qingfang saw through him and spoke.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, Don't go near him! Shen-shixiong is in a state where he is trapped in the memories of the past, and I am unaware of what experience made him act this way, but I am quite sure that the male Liu-shidi dragged had triggered his memory."
"Is there something we can do to get him out of that state, Mu-shidi? " Yue Qingyuan frowned as he looked at the male whom he had known since his childhood, never did he once see Xiao-Jiu act like this.
Was there something he had missed during the times he left Xiao-Jiu? Did something happen to him while he wasn't able to be with the Qius?? He never told him anything, since he had failed to get Xiao-Jiu out of the Qius’ and he would always avoid mentioning the past.
Mu Qingfang was in deep thought before he spoke.
"Well, the only thing we can do is to put him to sleep. It's either we wait until he gets tired and faints from what he had been through or we subdue him ourselves, but we can't get too close in his condition... "
Shang Qinghua who remained silent all this time from guilt, decided to speak up.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, perhaps we should make Qi-shimei do it? "
The peak lords looked at him with a questionable gaze which made Shang Qinghua become a bit more nervous, but he continued.
"I noticed that Shen-shixiong may be trapped in a memory of his trauma, and upon all his behaviors, he has a strange hatred for men in general. Perhaps it would be a good try for a female like Qi-shimei to try... "
Yue Qingyuan perked up at his words as Mu Qingfang was stuck contemplating before he sighed and agreed.
"Shang-shixiong may be right. It does seem reasonable. It may be a good idea for Qi Qingqi to test."
Yue Qingyuan had no other choice, but to agree to his words. He had no idea what his Xiao-Jiu had gone through or what made him act this way. He glanced at Shang Qinghua, who flinched at his gaze, then turned to Mu Qingfang and nodded.
"Shang-shidi, Why and how did you think that Qingqiu-shidi had a trauma related to the fact he may have some hatred towards men?"
Shang Qinghua released a nervous laugh, inwardly sweating as he meekly responded.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, you see... When I look at Shen-shixiong's attitude in general, I thought perhaps Shen-shixiong has been through a lot before he came to Cang Qiong Mountain. Plus, I saw that he had always doted on his female disciples, and his former shijies..."
Yue Qingyuan, although skeptical, agreed with his reasoning. Mu Qingfang was still curious about something as he glanced at Shang Qinghua.
"Shang-shixiong, may I inquire how this led you to the thought that Shen-shixiong has a hatred for men? "
Shang Qinghua seemed hesitant at his word, before he continued.
"You see, Mu-shidi, I have been curious about Shen-shixiong, so I observed him closely every time I saw him. I noticed that each time that he came near a man, he would always grow tense and put his guard up while with females, he would relax and indulge them.. I also overheard Shen-shixiong talking to his female disciples about how manipulative men can be, and how they shouldn't be trusted . "
Mu Qingfang looked stunned at his words, as Yue Qingyuan looked at Shang Qinghua with wide eyes.
"Xiao-Jiu said that??"
Shang Qinghua nodded, although it wasn't exactly the full story. He knew the trauma and memories that Shen Qingqiu had been through. As Airplane, he literally wrote his scum villain with a detailed backstory. How could he not be aware?! Although seeing his mighty scum villain collapse onto his trauma did make him feel guilty for writing him this way...
Yue Qingyuan was stuck in deep thought before he turned to Shen Qingqiu whose arms still wrapped around himself as a defense mechanism.. As Yue Qingyuan stared at the man with guilt, Qi Qingqi was also stuck in her own thoughts.
She had always disliked the male, due to the rumors of him as a lecher who preyed on his female disciple and his visit to the brothels. But seeing him in this state, shattered the image she had of the male.
Now, Qi Qingqi wasn’t quite sure if she truly knew the male aside from the rumors. The only way she could confirm if they were true was to help him calm down from this state and learn more about him.
She couldn’t make up for the bad things she said in the past, especially when she had been the one spreading half of the bad rumors about the male. Perhaps she let her emotions cloud her judgement on Shen Qingqiu’s character. Wasn’t this something her Shizun had warned her about? She had made a mistake.
"Zhangmen-shixiong, if what Shang Qinghua is saying is true.. " The Xian Shu peak lord couldn’t finish her sentence. The guilt, shame, and self-pity burned in her chest and jammed her words in place at her throat.
Yue Qingyuan could see all the emotions clear on her face and nodded. "I know, Qi-shimei. We have failed Qingqiu-shidi as his martial siblings."
"I know, and perhaps helping him is our only way to redeem ourselves from the neglect, and doubt that we constantly gave him..." she muttered, the confidence and fight she normally exuded invisible to the seeing eye.
Yue Qingyuan stared at her, his eyes filled with determination and regret as he agreed with her words. His expression was a bit pale from seeing his Xiao-Jiu in this state, the guilt and regret inside of him kept growing and growing as he constantly blamed himself for not being able to save Xiao-Jiu in time...
If he wasn't being a reckless impatient fool like Xiao-Jiu described him as, perhaps he may have been able to save Xiao-Jiu in the Qiu Manor. He might not have been trapped in the Lingxi caves with his soul bound to his sword if he had just been patient with his cultivation.
Now, he suffered the consequences of not being able to protect his Xiao-Jiu from the trauma that he had throughout his lifetime…
Yue Qingyuan could let Xiao-Jiu hate him, riducule him for all the idiotic things that he had done. He knew that it was his fault and his recklessness that made him live a life filled with guilt and regret, but he would never want Xiao-Jiu to suffer the consequences of his recklessness once more.
“Zhangmen-shixiong.” Mu Qingfang snapped him out of his thoughts as the man glanced at the vulnerable figure on the garden’s pathway. “It’s best we do it now or Shen-shixiong would be stuck in whatever trauma he had in the past.”
Yue Qingyuan nodded as he glanced at Qi Qingqi with determined eyes. “Qi-shimei, I advise you to be careful in dealing with Xiao-Jiu.” Qi Qingqi and Mu Qingfang noticed the familiarity towards their shen-shixiong, but didn’t say anything. Qi Qingqi nodded jerkily as walked closer to the male.
Qi Qingqi was unaware on what to do. She never knew how to calm someone down, much less calm someone down from whatever memory they were stuck in! Wasn’t Shen Qingqiu supposedly a noble’s son and living his life well? What trauma could a noble’s son get that involved his huge hatred of men?
Qi Qingqi had a lot of questions, but they were all left unanswered. As Qi Qingqi approached Shen Qingqiu’s figure closer, she could hear the vulnerable tone in his voice that didn’t suit the prideful male at all.
She could hear mutters of pleas, how he hated their touch and how he mentioned how he hated those gentle words being uttered, as they ignored his protests. Qi Qingqi felt her heart drop at his words as the emotions she already felt worsened and they ate her from the inside. “Shen-shixiong..”
Qi Qingqi really hoped it’s not what she thought, if it was. She had made a huge mistake of treating him the way she did, especially after what she thought had happened. She really didn’t want to think that her conclusion was right, knowing how she would seclude herself if she gossiped about someone who had been a victim of this.
Qi Qingqi felt like something had been stuck in her throat as she spoke. “Shen-shixiong... It’s okay...” She slowly kneeled beside him and hesitantly hugged him. Shen Qingqiu trembled at the touch as he remembered the bad memories that had occurred at the Qiu household before the massacre, and wanted to push that person away.
He then smelled a scent of a woman’s perfume and calmed down a bit as a touch of warmth engulfed his body.
Shen Qingqiu trembled at the soft touch. It reminded him of the warmth that Qiu Haitang gave him during his days in the Qius. The warm patting on his back as a sight of comfort reminded him of the touches the brothel sisters gave him. Shen Qingqiu felt his thoughts calm down as his body continued to tremble at the warm touch. It wasn’t the disgusting touch he felt from those men. It was soft... Comforting... Safe.
Qi Qingqi continued to awkwardly hug Shen Qingqiu. She felt the trembles on his body relax at her touch as she patted his back and caressed his smooth black locks.
Shen Qingqiu seemed to calm down. Shen Qingqiu felt warm. He really loved this feeling, as it made him feel comfortable and he was worth caring for despite his past as a slave.
Shen Qingqiu felt his eyelids getting heavier and he was lured into sleep from the warmth that he felt. After all, he felt exhausted from the triggers of his emotional and mental trauma. As Qi Qingqi felt Shen Qingqiu’s body relax and fall into sleep, she choked back a sob at the sight of her shixiong’s peaceful figure. It was no different from how she would curl up in the arms of her mother as a child during nights she could not sleep.
Mu Qingfang approached them with Yue Qingyuan trailing behind him. Mu Qingfang took a look at Shen Qingqiu’s body, saw that he was asleep and released a sigh of relief. He moved his gaze to Qi Qingqi whose arms instinctively tightened slightly around the sleeping Shen Qingqiu in doing so. The doctor’s eyes glistened with indescribable emotion at her subtle actions and slowly reached his arms out as he whispered. “Qi-shijie, I’ll take it from here.” Qi Qingqi nodded as she continued to stay quiet.
Mu Qingfang took Shen Qingqiu’s body, leaning it onto him as he laid the male’s head on his lap. He grabbed Shen Qingqiu’s arm, his sleeves falling and exposed his wrist which had started to bruise as a sign that someone’s grip was too tight.
Shang Qinghua approached them and winced at the sight of the bruise; Yue Qingyuan’s eyes narrowed at the sight of the bruises, and even Mu Qingfang had a frown on his face at the sight of them. It seemed like the man had done something worse than expected and it wasn’t just his hatred for men that caused him to act this way.
Mu Qingfang held Shen Qingqiu’s wrist and placed two figures as he released a sigh of relief and looked at Yue Qingyuan who was hovering at them with a worried look on his face. “Mu-shidi, how is he?”
Mu Qingfang glanced at Shen Qingqiu’s sleeping figure as he explained. “ He’s okay now, apparently. Shen-shixiong’s mental state had been triggered by that merchant’s action and that caused him to have a minor qi-deviation from the overexertion of his emotions. Thankfully, Qi-shijie managed to calm him down and he fainted from exhaustion.”
Yue Qingyuan looked at the figure with guilt and regret. "It's my fault, I shouldn't have taken Shen-shidi to this event if this was going to happen. "
Mu Qingfang frowned at his words and glanced at his sect leader who was looking at their Qing Jing peak lord with that expression of his once more. Was there more to their relationship than they had expected?
Mu Qingfang had always thought the relationship between the two men was rather unusual, one who scorned the other as the other looked at him with guilt. Mu Qingfang had thought that Shen Qingqiu was just bitter at Zhangmen-shixiong's position and power, but with the recent revelations of Yue Qingyuan's actions, there may be more to the story than they had thought.
Perhaps Mu Qingfang would have to rethink his decisions and be mindful of his position as a Qian Cao Peak lord and give Shen Qingqiu the treatments that he needed instead of sending the low grade pills that he had been prescribing to him due to him disbelieving his own martial brother and acting on his bias against the Qing Jing peak lord that was built upon his trust in the rumors spread around the peaks.
Mu Qingfang felt guilty at his actions as he looked at his shixiong's figure that laid in his lap with a peaceful expression.
As a healer, he had disregarded his Shizun's teachings and had been blinded by the rumors instead of getting to know what traumas and experiences Shen Qingqiu had gone through. He had ignored the mental health of his martial brother which caused his sect's relationship to become strained and doubtful.
He should have not neglected Shen Qingqiu's acts and took more observations in his health rather than assume that the man was as bitter and scummy as the rumors had said he was. As a healer, he had failed to take Shizun's words into mind, especially with her warnings of the Qing generation's bonds being weak.
As a healer, he has failed. As a martial sibling, he has failed as well. This experience had thrown a big hit at Mu Qingfang's pride as the best healer in the cultivation world, but this gave him some insight that they had not only neglected Shen Qingqiu and his peak, but had also discriminated against Shang Qinghua and his peak as well.
He and the rest of the martial siblings would have to reflect upon their actions once they came back to the sect. After all, it was their acts that led Shen Qingqiu to this state.
As the rest of the peak lords were filled with worries and guilt, they failed to notice Shang Qinghua who looked at Shen Qingqiu with guilt in his eyes, knowing that it was his writing that caused Shen Qingqiu to have this trauma.
If Shang Qinghua--no, Airplane--had known that his book would create a different world, where they were actual people with their backstories, then he would have changed his scum villain's fate into a happier one.