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Jane was busy people-watching. He sat on an oil drum, outside the barracks in the shade, seeing the speed at which his other fine teammates went about their business. Scout impressed him, the kid was fast and even though Jane would never admit it, he admired the way the kid could run. He called him over. "Hey Private! I am enlisting you into some PT."
Scout stopped in his tracks and jogged over. "Yeah?"
"I have noticed how each and every one of you maggots have been performing increasingly worse on the battlefield. It has come to me that we need physical remediation! I'm telling you now so that you will be expecting this hardship as a gift!"
"Hardship?" Scout looked doubtful. Suddenly Pyro skipped over to see what the fuss was, but Scout looked at him and signaled with his hands that he didn't want any part of this. Pyro skidded to a stop and wheeled around as Jane looked up at him. "Private Firebug! Return this instant! There is no way out of this exercise!"
Pyro giggled as he sped away, and Jane frowned but waved a dismissal at the fleeing figure.
"Ah, we don't need him." Jane sneered.
Dell stepped out, and Jane locked onto him. He hollered at Dell to come over, and again the frantic Scout tried to wave him away, but Dell paid no mind. He smiled back and waved. Jane glared. "You! Yes, you! You need to get over here on the double, hup-two, hup-two!"
Dell trotted over, none too quickly, but looked a little confused at the Soldier. Jane poked him in the stomach. "You've been hitting the ice cream instead of the trail to victory, Engie!" At that, Dell’s pleasant expression melted into an instant cold fury.
“Didn’t catch that? Ice cream? Dont’cha remember you fed it all to the boy, here?”
Jane towered over the engineer, and sneered down at him. “Don’t try to get out of PT today, Private Conagher! It is obvious you have been slacking off! There is no way out of this exercise! We will begin by running a ten-mile hike! This will only be the start of a full day of toning up because you have been getting soft around the middle! You will get into shape!”
Now, the whole time Jane decreed the business at hand to his little platoon of two, Dell got furious. He was boiling under his hardhat, and his fists, both metal and flesh, were clenched tight. “Jane. I think you had better reconsider taking that particular tone with me, hoss.”
“Negatory! No clemency here! There will be suffering! There will be hardship! We will be running in exactly 10 minutes, so go get your uniform straight and meet right here, I will be timing you!”
Jane did an abrupt about face, and went to his barracks room. Scout looked at Dell. “Seriously? Why we gotta do this shit on the weekend of all things? I was gonna go catch a movie with Py!”
“Best let me handle this, son,” Dell replied, pushing his helmet forward and storming after the Soldier. Scout took that as an exit cue, and disappeared to catch up with his buddy.
Dell didn’t knock, instead, he slammed the door open. “Jane! What the Hell you thinkin’, talking to me like that-,”
Jane was standing in front of his locker, changed from his uniform into jogging shorts and a running shirt that barely contained his mass. Dell stared, jaw agape.
“Maggot! Are you confused as to where your locker is? And you are absolutely not in uniform yet! Why is that, Private Conagher?” Jane shouted.
Dell flinched out of his daze. The way Solly was yelling at him had pissed him off entirely too much, and the ice cream was his own secret, sacred ritual that only recently Jane had been privy to. He felt the rage building in him. Who the hell did Jane think he was? Dell carried around a 200 lb. toolbox all damn day, running up and down stairs, hills, rocks, ramparts, anywhere the battle was. There wasn’t a day gone by that the little engineer didn’t feel like he had put in a full load and then some. And fat? Well, there might be a bit of pudge but it damn sure wasn’t a beer gut.
“Goddamnit, Jane! You know exactly what I’m talking about and tuning out to reality isn’t an opt-“
Jane grabbed Dell by the shoulders and spun him around, shoving him out the room and down the hall to the locker area. He grabbed a set of workout clothes and shoved them into Dell’s hands. “You have five minutes, Maggot! Move move move!!”
Dell growled. Jane turned his back on him and marched out of the room. Ok, Dell thought. You wanna play war, Solly? We’ll play war.
Five minutes saw the two men outside, Jane doing some stretching and Dell furiously standing off to the side, waiting for the Soldier to lay out the rules. He was uncomfortable in the jogging shorts and tee-shirt. At least the sneakers he had were his, and broken in.
Jane checked his watch. “Scout is late! If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was AWOL!”
“I gave him leave.” Dell nonchalantly looked down his nose at Jane, who stretched one hamstring, then the other. Jane stood up and looked down at Dell. “You what?”
“You heard me. I dismissed him. This ain’t nothing to that kid, he can run for days, Jane.”
“I am the leader of this outfit! I say who participates and who doesn’t!” Jane’s brows furrowed as he eyed the engineer.
“What’s wrong, Solly? Afraid I’ll beat ya at the races?” Dell said, getting down on his hands and digging in a toe. He felt the sun beating down on the top of his coverless head, but he knew it was more the angry glare from Jane he had kindled.
“Dell. You are just ashamed to admit you have gained weight and detest working out! I understand not wanting the kid to see your weakness,” Jane smirked. At this the Engineer’s calm appearance dropped like a lead brick. He leapt up at Jane, swinging his fists, which Jane easily avoided.
“You had better take that back, Sol!”
“What, the truth hurt, Engie? It’s fine, that’s why we’re out here today! I am gonna work that fat right off of you! Ten mile run!”
“You sonofabitch! You know goddamn well how strong I am!” Dell flailed at the Soldier, but he was fast. It was even more enraging that Dell couldn’t land a fist on him.
“You wanna piece of me?” Jane teased. He was laughing. Dell was frothing he was so angry. “Naw, you can’t have a piece. You’ll take the whole thing, because you’re fat-”
“GOD-DAMN STRAIGHT I WILL!” Dell clocked the Soldier in the jaw as Jane was laughing at him. Jane saw stars in his field of vision, along with a spinning view of the surrounding desert. He plopped to the ground and shakily hoisted his body back up with his forearms. He was shocked that Dell had actually landed a punch, but the fire rose in his vision, and he grunted as he got back up, then grinned.
“Now that’s more like it!” Jane spit out a tooth and some blood. He slitted his eyes and looked sideways at Dell, who looked shocked that he had actually knocked Jane down. Jane tasted the blood in his mouth. The coppery tang set off in him a savagery that must have reflected on him, as Dell suddenly started to back away.
“You ready to run?” Jane asked, in a low, threatening voice. “Cause it’s time to run!”
Dell wasn’t afraid of much, but the way the soldier lowered his stance, the way his head and shoulders were squared, and the way his jaw was set looked a lot like a charging bull. And Dell knew bulls. You didn’t wanna be in front of the horns unless you were ready to take them on. Jane turned completely around to face Dell, and grinned. Blood ran from the split lip, and there was a little black space in his teeth, from the one Dell had knocked out.
“Ready….” Jane lifted a leg, planted a firm foot in front of him. Twisted the toe into the dirt. Dell saw this and readied himself.
“Set….” Dell’s thighs quivered as he mentally adjusted to sprint away.
“GO!” Jane bellowed. He tore through the dirt and sand towards Dell, who ducked low and sprinted at a ninety-degree angle away from Jane and into the desert. Jane laughed loudly, and his footfalls were earth shaking. Dell not only heard his approach but felt the ground shake behind him.
He looked over his shoulder fleetingly. Jane was rapidly gaining on him! Dell could have slapped himself. Of course Jane was quick. The equipment he carried into battle was heavy as hell, and without all that gear Jane was a cheetah. Dell was more like a diesel truck, a constant speed but unrelenting strength. He knew he couldn’t outrun Jane. This was probably going to hurt.
Dell tried evasive maneuvers, zig-zagging back and forth, every time he felt Jane’s breath blowing on him. That should have been impossible at the speed they were running at, but Jane was a powerhouse thundering behind him, reaching for him-
Dell dropped to the ground and curled into a ball. Jane couldn’t stop and tripped over him, flying over him and yelling intangibly. Dell sprung back to his feet, panting, to see how quickly Jane could recover.
Jane was pissed, now. At first it was fun and even a bit of a turn on, seeing Dell get angry and teasing him about his pudge. In reality the man had nothing to worry about, but Jane knew how vain the cowboy could be. He rose to the bait so easily, Jane didn’t even have to try very hard. But now, his jaw throbbing and bloody spittle running from the corner of his chin, Jane wanted to cash in his cards. He was ready to wring that cowboy out, come hell or high water.
Jane rose out of the dust, scrabbling with his large hands in the dirt and launching himself toward the engineer. “Shit-“Dell uttered under his breath, spinning on his heels and sprinting away as quick as he could. There wasn’t any twist or turn that Dell tried to shake the Soldier from catching him. Dell huffed out real hard as he ran, and braced himself.
He spun around and faced the charging Jane, and saw Jane grin as he closed in. He was reaching for Dell and suddenly, Dell sidestepped and stuck out a leg. Jane tripped and fell, the third time in one session. Angry and winded, he got back up again, and faced Dell. Dell looked back, defiant and fire-eyed, nostrils flared and grinning.
“Comon, hoss. That all ya got?” Dell panted out, his arms spread out to the sides as he shook his head. Jane raised his fists, and growled.
“I’ll have you know, this means war!” Jane cocked back a fist. Dell did the same, except the fist he chose was the Gunslinger. He had purposely held back with it because of the damage it could do, but Jane seemed a hard learner and Dell wasn’t not going to protect himself. He knew whatever damage they did to each other was correctable. Jane swung a heavy fist, and Dell pulled back quickly, but the punch grazed his chin and his teeth clicked together hard. Dell swung up with his right, and the Gunslinger popped hard against Jane’s jaw, blood and spit flying. Dell held back, watching to see if Jane would cease.
The stars Jane saw that time were brighter, but he fought against the rising tide of blackness and staggered around to face his opponent. He quickly grabbed Dell by the shirt and pulled him in. Dell raised his fists again and quickly double-punched Jane in the nose. Blood poured from his face, but Jane still managed to clip Dell twice as he swerved around Dells’ blows. The metal fingers grabbed Jane’s bloody shirt and tore it as Jane twisted away, and the Engineer found himself shadowed by the eclipse of Jane, cutting him off from any apparent escape.
“I-I’ll have you know…”Jane panted, “that that shirt was issued to me by none other than Lieutenant Butler himself…You owe me a shirt…”
“Like h-hell I d-do,” Dell stammered back. The sweat poured off of him, the sand and dust thick in his throat and eyes. He blinked rapidly to clear them, keeping his arms raised to protect himself. He could taste blood too, now. Jane looked like he’d been turkey stomped. One of his eyes was swollen shut, and his grin was more Jack-o-lantern than Johnny-come-lately. Dell grinned at him.
“What’s so funny, private?” Jane huffed. Dell started to chuckle. “I’m sorry, heh, it’s just that, Ha! You…you look like a can of smashed assholes! Hahahahahaa!” Dell started guffawing. Jane took a few to register what Dell had said.
“Well, you look like your face and my ass could be twins!” Jane huffed. This made Dell laugh even harder. Jane was infuriated. He grabbed Dell by the shoulders and shook him, but Dell couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, ha! Oh my god, your ass and my face! Ha ha ha ha!”
Jane was finding it hard to be angry at Dell anymore. His laughter was like water, it washed away the rage, and he remembered that he had started the whole issue.
“It’s a good thing, Dell. My ass looks pretty good in these shorts. I meant it,” Jane said. Dell was still chuckling, but he grasped Jane’s’ hand in his and patted his cheek with the Gunslinger. Jane winced, his face was pretty sensitive now. “Oh lord, I needed that. I guess we both can take a beating, huh?” Dell asked. He saw that Jane was completely calm now, and was happy that for the most part the spat was over.
“I ‘spect we need to go get cleaned up, probably stop by the Medic’s office to fix all of this up,” Dell said. He tugged Jane towards the base. Jane followed, but stopped to pick up the tattered remains of his shirt. “Do you think the Medic can fix this shirt?” Jane asked. Dell looked at him, then at the shirt, and shook his head. “Just have Butler get ya another one.”
…………………………………………
After the Medic got over his initial shock at the boys’ appearance, he tut-tutted and fussed over every swollen bump and bruise, every split lip and every black eye. “I would almost recommend time off, but it looks like you two have punished each other enough,” Medic sniffed.
Dell smiled. His face was back to normal thanks to the healing medigun and Jane’s teeth grew back under the radiation glow. “Good as new!” Jane said, hopping up off the table afterwards. He had waited for Dell to get done first. Dell stood back and looked at Jane, shirtless and dirty, but the swelling and wounds had disappeared.
“Good as new but ya look used,” Dell remarked. Jane looked at him questioningly.
“Used?”
“Like you been rode hard and put away wet,” Dell said. He took Jane by the hand. “How’s about a shower? I feel like I could use one,” Dell led Jane away to his toolshed.
When he opened the door, Lieutenant Butler greeted them with a happy whistle and clambered up Jane’s body, where he then preceded to coo and make wonderful little endearing sounds. Jane of course was wrapped up in cuddling the cybernetic raccoon, but Dell went ahead and pulled out towels and soap. He started the water running, and walked back to Jane.
“Here, let me help ya with that,” Dell removed Butler and set him on the table. He looked right into the robot’s glowing green eyes. “Hey Butler, we need some alone time. You got errands for Jane to do though. He needs a new shirt. Make sure it’s a blue one,”
“Yessir!” Butler whistled out, and Dell laughed. “My God, your voice synthesizer is getting better every time you use it! Good job!” The raccoon hopped off the table, launched his rotors and flew out the window, on a mission.
Jane’s eyes followed the raccoon’s flight path, and once he was out of sight, he looked at Dell. The Texan approached Jane, pulling his tee shirt off, and reached for him. “Come here, now. I ain’t mad at ya anymore, as long as you behave yourself,” Dell said, smiling. Jane looked downcast.
“I’m sorry, Engie. I didn’t mean it. All I wanted was to spend some time with you guys and it was exercise that I needed. I was getting tired of the same thing every day,”
“You wanted exercise? I can think of a thousand better ways to work up a sweat than running ten miles in a desert!” Dell exclaimed, grinning. Jane blew out a held in breath and smiled back, relived. He didn’t want Dell to be mad anymore.
Dell kissed him, deeply, and Jane sagged under the weight of it. His arms wrapped around Dell and he squeezed him closer, not breaking away but blowing air out his nose to keep afloat in the rising passion. Dell grunted as he worked his lips against Jane’s, his hands pulling down the soldier for more. He could smell Jane’s sweaty, musky odor. All that seemed to do to the cowboy was inflame his yearning for the Soldier. Anything would quell his appetites as long as it was Jane.
He couldn’t help himself as his eyes rolled back in his head. Jane’s mouth had worked its way down to his neck, and every time the soldier’s tongue ran over his own skin, Dell shuddered. When the man nibbled at his ears he moaned harder, hearing the hard breathing of his lover. His shorts were extremely tight-fitting suddenly, but he reached for Jane’s first, and found the man incredibly hard. Jane growled low in his throat with every stroke of Dell’s hand through the fabric. Jane picked up the engineer, and carried him into the bathroom. The steam covered the mirrors, but Jane swiped it off with a bold stroke of his forearm and turned sideways, looking at himself and Dell together in the mirror. He grinned.
“Look.” That word, that one command that Jane uttered, focused Dell from the euphoria of the sensation of Jane’s mouth on his face and neck. He dizzily looked at the mirror, and saw himself, all flushed and panting, and Jane, looking proud and muscle bound, flexing his arm and grinning at Dell. Then he felt Jane’s hands at his shorts, roughly pulling them down and dropping them around his ankles, and then he saw the back of the soldier in the mirror sinking to his knees-
“AH! Ah, oh, oh my god,” Dell threw his head back and fairly screamed as he felt the soldiers mouth, warm, wet and incredibly eager, his tongue lapping at his aching erection. When he opened his eyes briefly, he could see the back of the soldier’s head in the mirror working between his thighs, and with that vision in his mind and the sensation on his cock feeling so good he started to feel light headed. He fell back against the bathroom wall, and for a very quick second was both relived and annoyed that Jane had stopped, but it was only momentarily.
“You cannot get away that easily,” Jane panted. Dell looked down and saw Jane smiling back up at him, his hands and arms pulling his body closer, back to his ministrations. “I-uhhhh, Oh! Oh my god, Jane, please stop, I can’t…”
Jane didn’t stop, Dell’s words fell on a deaf man driven. Jane enjoyed seeing Dell lose all control and he knew that Dell really didn’t want him to stop. He could taste how much the engineer was really enjoying this, the precum flowing freely with every lap he pressed onto him, and it drove him nuts. He hooked a thumb in the band of his own shorts and pulled them down halfway, his own cock springing out and throbbing harder every time the engineer made noise. He groaned, and grasped himself, rolling his fingers along the length and dripping shamelessly on the floor.
Dell could hardly believe Jane was blowing him. It seemed so out of character, but it felt so damn good, he couldn’t help but grasp the man’s head in both hands, and hold on as Jane pulled back and forth on his dick with his mouth. And then, Jane started to hum. Dell practically exploded, his whole body shuddered and arched into Jane’s eager, lapping mouth, and when he started to fall backwards that time Jane stood quickly and caught him, releasing him from his jaw at the last possible moment.
“Was it good?” Jane asked him. Dell hung in his arms like a wet blanket. When he got no answer, Jane opened the shower curtain and carefully stepped in with the wrung out engineer in his arms. He held him under the running water close to his chest, smiling and rocking the smaller man. Dell finally came around after a few minutes.
“Oh, Jane.” Dell looked into Jane’s eyes and smiled a sheepish grin. Jane held him even closer, his grizzled chin rasping up alongside Dell’s. Dell hugged him back, and gave him little kisses along his collarbone.
“You aren’t angry with me anymore, are you?” Jane whispered.
Dell pulled back and looked into Jane’s eyes. “Never. Never ever was. Just…you pushed my buttons is all. And you more than made up for it,” Dell kissed him full on the lips. “That was simply amazing.” Jane leaned back in the shower and looked downwards with his eyes. Dell followed his lead and realized that Jane was still ready to go. “Uh… I see we aren’t quite square here.”
He took up the bar of soap and started lathering Jane’s chest, working soap all over his body, but paying special attention to the soldier’s inner thighs. He kept the Gunslinger on Jane’s shoulder to steady himself (and was grateful that Jane wasn’t at all repulsed by it), and worked his hand back and forth, down the shaft and alternating on either side of Jane’s balls. Jane’s breathing had become harsh and clipped, he quivered under Dell’s ministrations.
Dell wished that he was taller, so that he could be right in Jane’s face, teasing him with his mouth and nibbling at his ears, as Jane had done earlier. Instead, he kissed Jane’s nipple, pinching it in his teeth. Jane gasped and crushed Dell to his chest, barely making any sense as he begged Dell for more. Dell squeezed the base of Jane’s cock and stroked harder, biting Jane’s neck as he squeezed Dell closer to him. Dell hung on for dear life, hoping that Jane would finish before he himself ran out of air.
Jane roared as he came, water running down his and Dell’s bodies, the semen splashing up and in-between the two, and Dell wished that he had tried to do what Jane had done for him, although he was fairly new at all of this. He was panting for breath, but so was Jane, who was suddenly very unsteady on his feet. Dell held him up, letting the water run over them both. When Jane came to, Dell led him out of the tiny bathroom and toweled him off, thinking of the days when he used to ride horses. “Never put ‘em away wet,” he said to himself.
“What?”
“Never mind, Hoss.” A whistle in the corner of the room made both men freeze, then Jane realized the glowing green eyes were from Butler, who had made a nest out of a blue shirt and had stood watch outside the door.
Later, as they both lay in Dell’s tiny bed, Dell tried to remember what the hell the fight was all about. Oh yeah…Jane had called him fat. Dell smiled a little at that. When Jane woke up a while later, Dell offered him ice cream, and after some good-natured teasing and a promise to work the calories off later, they enjoyed their treats.