Chapter 1: there is only one part so let's name it 'one' ig
Chapter Text
It was a fine evening, Louis was walking down the street to visit Olivia(bossgirl😍)'s apartment because he had nothing better to do.
He kept walking *walkitywalkitywalk* and saw some disturbing things like Monica giving head to Chandler on top of the fire hydrant, a dilf using street lights as dildos (he has a big hole sigh) and a girl masturbating with a whisk in the Ariana Grande merch store.
Another normal day is what Louis calls it. Louis had a long walk ahead, I mean walking from England to Italy is a big deal yk(mf doesn't have a car😔)
By the time he reached France (ik my geography🙄) his legs were sore. "Oh kind lady, will you help me unsore my legs?" Louis said to the Asian lady with black hair who dressed like a billionaire(yes Rachel chu, continue reading😩).
"आबे चुटिये जा गांड मार, आया बड़ा बहन का लोडा" the girl said to him. "Aww thank you, you are so kind" Louis replied to her and stuck a finger in her mouth to collect spit. he continued to apply the spit to his sore legs. Meanwhile, the Chinese filo stared at him with wide eyes for a while then ran away(dramatic ass, what's wrong with applying spit to sore legs🤨).
He continued walking and said "Bonjour, je m'appele loui huh" to every person he saw, now his throat was sore... 😏
He finally reached Italy, it was surprising for him because he thought it would look something like this (picture) and not how it actually looked like. ( isn't Italy a pizzaland?!🍕)
It was a fine evening, Louis was walking down the street to visit Olivia(bossgirl😍)'s apartment because he had nothing better to do.
He kept walking *walkitywalkitywalk* and saw some disturbing things like Monica giving head to Chandler on top of the fire hydrant, a dilf using street lights as dildos (he has a big hole sigh) and a girl masturbating with a whisk in the Ariana Grande merch store.
Another normal day is what Louis calls it. Louis had a long walk ahead, I mean walking from England to Italy is a big deal yk(mf doesn't have a car😔)
By the time he reached France (ik my geography🙄) his legs were sore. "Oh kind lady, will you help me unsore my legs?" Louis said to the Asian lady with black hair who dressed like a billionaire(yes Rachel chu, continue reading😩).
"आबे चुटिये जा गांड मार, आया बड़ा बहन का लोडा" the girl said to him. "Aww thank you, you are so kind" Louis replied to her and stuck a finger in her mouth to collect spit. he continued to apply the spit to his sore legs. Meanwhile, the Chinese filo stared at him with wide eyes for a while then ran away(dramatic ass, what's wrong with applying spit to sore legs🤨).
He continued walking and said "Bonjour, je m'appele loui huh" to every person he saw, now his throat was sore... 😏
He finally reached Italy, it was surprising for him because he thought it would look something like this (picture) and not how it actually looked like. ( isn't Italy a pizzaland?!🍕)
He finally found Olivia's apartment after swimming in the streets of Venice (the bitch couldn't use the sidewalk or whatever they were on the side). A soaking wet Louis was standing in front of a house that looked like one of the haunted houses on Halloween.(with the goofy pumpkins duh)
"Knock knock" he called out. A male voice replied, "Who's there?". Louis knew that voice, it was Harish Shrivastav or aka Harry Styles. He knew he had to play along so he said," Oprah". The voice shouted, "Oprah wh-. Wait I know what you are doing!" Harry knew if he fell for it there would be guns at his head (at least I would put a gun and then kill him. I don't mind, gotta protect oprah💪🥴).
Louis just laughed it off and went inside. He walked in on a bald Olivia and Harry using her hair as a dildo (noice🍑🍆👅👨🦲💦). "Oh- you're busy-" Louis started, "I'll just go fuck Kevin then-". "Okay! Have a great time Loulou!" Louis waved them off.
After an interesting walk back home (he saw a girl eating a marshmallow out of her butthole, wouldn't that be interesting) Louis called Kevin," Yo yo old friend!" he said. "Yoyo" Kevin replied. "wanna fuck?" Louis offered. "Shore". (Yes, Kevin can talk, get over it.)
After a while, Kevin arrived at Louis' place with condoms tied to his wings and lube in his paws. "I got the stuff, let's fuck" Kevin said. "Okay" is what Louis replied with. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled down his jeans leaving him in only his boxers, and well... Kevin is always naked(harry styles xfactor so true) so... yeah.
Louis shoved his tongue in kevin's beak. One hand focusing on picking up Kevin and the other caressing it's feathers.Kevin moaned, and Louis knew he was doing great.
Just as they continued making out with Kevin's claws on Louis' hard dick, a startling sound with dust flowing everywhere occurred. Kevin and Louis stopped kissing to see what happened. He saw dumbledore and his pet phoenix standing there.
Dumbledore's eyes wide open and the phoenix's wider. Dumbledore looked towards his phoenix and said, "I promise I would never do that to you-". The phoenix flew away scared and dumbledore chased it while wiggling his big fat juicy ass (😩✋).
"Uh- Let's continue" Louis broke the silence. Kevin and agreed and they started making out again.
Louis ripped the condom pack open with his teeth (porn star🤩) and slide it on his fucking massive dick (he still bottoms, idc) and aligned his dick to Kevin's hole (this is making me mourn on the dead gc sigh).
As soon as he pressed in his dick, it went through Kevin's whole body failing all his organs (if it has any, sorry i failed biology) and Kevin died.
He knew he did a crime. Out of nowhere detective, Jake Peralta appeared with prison Mike!(the office>>>>>).
"Howdy, mf" the detective says. "Since when do you speak in texan accent?" Louis asked. (the author has not watched b99 do not blame them). "None of your business, ma-ite. We are here to arrest you for killing the poor pigeon." detective starts speaking until prison Mike interrupts him, "AYE MATE! YOU WILL HATE PRISON IT IS REALLY BAD!"(yes, the author is a fan).
"Shut up mike" the handsome detective continued, "So, you are under arrest.". "Kinky" Louis replies with. "Fuck off!" Jake shouts. "Yeah, no!" Louis shouts back. And Jake and Louis end up eating each other.(yum)
Mike comes near the camera and says, "Jan has nice mommy milkers👅💦 :)"
~The End~
Chapter 2: The journey inside Vin Deisel's body (i lied. it has more than one part hehe.)
Summary:
Part 2 of this traumatic shit uwu
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
~continuation of the last chapter~
Then, Vin Diesel walked in from the portal that Alex Russo Diesel made for him! Yes, Alex and Vin are married🥰🥺
Vin looked at the small bits of Louis inside Jake's stomach. "Oh Vin, please rebirth me. I need to use the new pink sparkly dildo I got yesterday! And also I need to see my family!" the small sound inside of Jake's stomach said.
"Did you just say, family? You know, You instantly think of unconditional love when you think of family. It is the first source of love you receive in your life It teaches you the meaning of love which you carry on forever in your heart. Secondly, we see that loyalty strengthens a family. When you have a family, you are devoted to them. Family, Family, Family. You don't need friends, you have family." Vin stated. (so inspirational🥰😍)
"Of course I'll rebirth you, fellow family!" Vin said with zeal and he lifted his hand to grab the bits of Louis from Jake's abdomen and swallowed the bits of Louis. "Yum," he said and started dancing to 'all the single ladies '. After dancing for a while he sat on the bed and got naked (💋💦👅)
Louis, who is now inside Vin had to find his way to his vagina. Out of nowhere, Dora appeared! "Hola! Soy Dora!" She said.
"Do you know where Louis is?" She started. "I'm right behind you, idiot" Louis stated annoyed. Then the blue cursor comes and clicks on Louis and then Dora says, "here he is,".
"¿Necesitas mi ayuda para llegar a la vagina? That means ' do you need my help to reach the vagina' in Spanish!". "yes bitch I do," Louis replied.
"Let's go," Dora exclaimed, "what do we need when we need to go somewhere and we don't know the route? MAP!". Then the voice from Dora's backpack spoke up, "If there is a place you've got to get, I can get you there I bet. I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map!".
"Yay! Help the map find us the quickest way to the vagina." Dora said.
"We need to help Dora and Louis reach Vin's vagina as swift as possible! I know the shortest way. First, we need to reach the uterus! (Vin has a uterus get over it😑🙄) Then we pass the cervix and come out of Vin's non existing vagina! Repeat after me! Uterus, cervix, vagina!"
"Let's go and help this shorty reach Vin's imaginary vagina!" Dora picked up Louis and they both started hopping while singing, "COME ON VAMANOS, EVERYBODY LET'S GO. COME ONE LET'S GET TO IT, I KNOW THAT WE CAN DO IT!" (if this song isn't on lt2 istg😤✋)
After some more hopping, they reached the Uterus! But to go forward they had to encounter Bebe Rexha. "SING FOR ME," Bebe said.
"We need to call the Fiesta trio to help us perform. Oh, Fiesta boys!". Soon they started singing 'Help' by Louis Tomlinson (pfft ehm I haven't uh heard it I promise... *awkward laugh*!). A while later Bebe allowed them to go further and help Louis rebirth.
Sometime later they reached the cervix and tried to pass it but were stopped by Damon Salvatore on the way. "Where do you think you are going?" He said in a husky voice. " To Vin's fake vagina!" Dora replied. "What she said" Louis mumbled, still on Dora's shoulder (pic above).
"Only on one condition," the blue-eyed guy with black hair said, "The twink has to twerk on me"(damouis😍). Louis did as asked, moving his big fat ass on Damon's crotch.
Damon moaned and gave them a green card to go further. They kept walking till they saw SWIPER! Swiper was trying to steal Louis' ass because he needed to impress his crush, Kim Kardashian!
But he couldn't because Dora the hero shouted, "SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING!!!!" (she saved the ass, everybody bow down to the queen). "Aw, man," the fox said in disappointment. Now the only way he could impress Kim was by swimming in the ocean and finding her diamond earrings 😔.
Now they finally reached the vagina and it was time for Louis to say goodbye to her new gay bestie Dora, they waved each other off as Louis got prepared to get out of Vin's body.
Vin opened his legs far apart and started pushing out the Louis inside him. Vin moaned as he saw the human come out of his vagina. (😩🍑🤸♂️)
"Thank you, sir" the freshly born Louis replied. Vin nodded and went back to save other families 🎅.
" I'M FREE!" Louis shouted with ecstasy. "Not quite," a voice behind him said which startled Louis. "Huh what do you me-" he was cut off by Candle Janitor gagging him with a cloth making him faint.
Louis was kidnapped!
Notes:
So... YOU DO REALISE HOW MANY DORA EPISODES I HAD TO WATCH TO MAKE THIS. Say thank you to me because I sacrificed my mental health for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading this cringe-fest ;>
Bye hoes<33
fynnthefirst on Chapter 2 Mon 06 Jun 2022 02:58PM UTC
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