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It was almost comical. When they had gone off to take care of a bandit issue—truly when had they learnt to schedule, attacks started to feel like clockwork recently—Leon hadn’t expected it to go any differently than it had the previous week. It started out normally enough, but then tides shifted suddenly. Leon still wasn’t sure what had happened. One moment they had the bandits pushed back, the next they were overrun. There hadn’t been a warning from what Leon could remember, there shouldn’t have been a reason for it. Then it had changed again with a brilliant flash of light, a small vortex of powerful magic, and Merlin. If the bandits hadn’t run and chose instead to challenge Merlin, they were killed—usually by Perceval or Elyan.
Once the dust had settled Leon had noticed someone was missing. It had been fairly easy to notice given that Gwaine’s generally loud existence was suddenly very absent. The villagers had been quick to lead them to where they had tended to Gwaine, his face bloodied from a nasty (yet surprisingly not fatal) wound to his head. They confirmed that they had seen him take a brutal hit to the head that knocked him unconscious, and had fallen from a decent height. Leon—and everyone else—had been stunned to hear that Gwaine was alive after all of that, and perhaps even a touch thankful. Leon especially. So, they loaded Gwaine into a cart after Merlin had provided what aid he could with magic—something that still shocked Leon but didn’t seem to be of particular surprise to Lancelot. Meanwhile Elyan simply shrugged it off, and Perceval seemed rather intrigued rather than worried. "He’s still the same old Merlin, isn’t he?" Perce had said.
Leon supposed he was right. Still it nagged at him as they rode home for Camelot.
Merlin had magic.
"You have magic," Leon stated flatly, still rather unimpressed with the latest development, though he couldn’t truly blame Merlin. Though he wanted to, if only for selfish reasons. They could have used his aid from the start, which meant Gwaine wouldn’t have had to suffer a blow to the head. Leon pushed the thoughts aside. "Does Arthur know?"
"Yeah…I had to. It was the only reason I could convince him I would be fine coming to help," Merlin admitted sheepishly as he looked everywhere he could except for Leon, it seemed.
Perceval, in all his curious glory, stepped into the conversation, which allowed Leon to fall back. Quietly he rode the rest of the way, staying beside Gwaine who remained unconscious for the entire journey. It concerned Leon, perhaps even scared him if he was being honest with himself—which he wasn’t. They had only just started seeing each other after they had finally spilled out their feelings for one another, or rather, when Gwaine drunkenly spilled out his feelings, which had left Leon shocked but also rather relieved. He had felt the same way, he just had thought Gwaine entirely focused on everyone else except for Leon.
Now Leon had to wonder if Gwaine would wake up. Merlin had told him to have hope, that he was certain Gwaine would be alright. Leon, however, had his doubts—perhaps it was Leon’s general sense of caution, or it was the fear that he intended to continue ignoring, even once they had Gwaine under Gaius’ watchful eye.
Arthur had deigned to give Leon a few days off in order to stay at Gwaine’s bedside, but it was a finite grace. The King would’ve preferred giving Leon more time, but a few does was the best he could do. Leon understood, and he appreciated what time Arthur could afford him. So, Leon had whispered to Gwaine, asked him to come back home, asked him to wake up so Leon wouldn’t have to leave his side in uncertainty. It had only been in the final hour that Gwaine’s eyes had opened. Leon had barked out an elated but surprised "Gwaine!" which had simply earned him a confused look.
Before Leon could ask, Gwaine spoke up. "Where am I? And who are you?"
Leon could feel every little piece of him that shattered at those words, but not a single on filtered across his facial expression. "It’s alright—you got injured, and seem to have lost your memories as a result. Allow me to get the physician, hmmm?" He had asked with a reassuring voice, moving off only after Gwaine had agreed.
"What do you mean amnesia?!" Leon had snarled at Gaius behind closed doors, unable to keep all those strained emotions from bubbling over. "When will it get better?" He growled, even knowing that Gaius couldn’t have controlled such things, but Leon felt…hopeless. He suddenly felt alone.
"I do not know—I don’t control these things, Leon, but I will do my best to attend to him. His memories will either come to him in time or we will all have to make new memories with him," Gaius stated calmly, with a sympathetic hand that rested on Leon’s shoulder. All Leon could do was slump in defeat as he nodded his head in understanding.
In the coming weeks they had learned that although Gwaine could not remember who he was, or who any of the Knights were (let alone Arthur and Merlin), he still maintained a fighting prowess. He still knew how to write and eat properly, he even knew how to ride a horse. Above all, Gwaine still knew how to flirt. Which wouldn’t have been so awful had Leon not been unfortunate enough to have to witness it. Still, what could he have said? You aren’t allowed to flirt because we had been seeing each other? No, that would not have sufficed. He would merely have to suffer.
Everyone—Arthur, Merlin, the Knight, Gwen, even Morgana—rallied around Gwaine; they took turns in helping Gwaine re-acclimate, they helped him re-figure who he would be until, if by some miracle, his memories would return. They all returned with fabulous and amusing tales, except for Leon. It hurt. It frustrated him. He wished he could go back, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he would change.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" Leon asked after one particularly long day. He head hadn’t stopped throbbing with a god awful headache since earlier that morning, but he had chosen not to let that stop him from babysitting. Though he almost wished he had.
"Was just wonderin’," Gwaine mused with a grin. It wasn’t quite the same grin as before, but it was damn close.
"Care to share?" Leon asked, his tone sharper than he had meant it to be, not that Gwaine seemed to notice.
"Was just wonderin’ what it’d take to impress you," Gwaine stated as his grin grew even further.
Lean arched a brow. "Why?" He refused to get his hopes up.
"I think we’d be great together, you and I—I and you—us!" Gwaine replied enthusiastically.
Leon simply stared for a good long while in complete silence.
Then he laughed. He laughed, and laughed, until his sides felt like they were going to break into a thousand shards. He laughed until his eyes watered and until his lungs burned. At first Gwaine grinned, but then he frowned when it continued on, and then he looked hurt.
"Didn’t think it was that funny…" Gwaine commented sourly which sobered Leon quickly as his laughter died instantly.
"No—I’m sorry, it wasn’t that I thought it was funny—well, in a sense—boy, do I have news for you," Leon attempted to explain, all the while he tried to keep his laughter contained, as it threatened to bubble up once more. The entire situation just seemed to absurd. How was he so special that he gained Gwaine’s attention not once but twice? Leon hadn’t really had much in the way of self-esteem problems, but he had questioned why someone as charismatic as Gwaine had chosen him of all people—and now he had done it twice.
Gwaine, who seemed to have perked up once again, tilted his head curiously. "Oh?"
Do not laugh.
For the love of all things stoic and calm, do not fucking laugh.
Leon’s lips quirked as he managed, by some miracle, to not laugh once again. "Prior to your head kissing the business end of a mace, we had actually been seeing each other," Leon offered gently, trying to make it sound as if it hadn’t hurt when Gwaine had woken up and not recognised Leon.
"Why didn’t you tell me?!" Gwaine suddenly demanded.
"I was not about to spring a relationship on you when you weren’t sure who you were, who I was, or where you were," Leon answered with a shrug. "We’ve no knowing how long this amnesia will last, or if it will ever go away for that matter, and so it felt wrong to tell you in case you started to have feelings for someone else," Leon added pragmatically.
"This must have been hard for you…" Gwaine realised as he looked at Leon with such a genuine sympathy that it made Leon’s heart ache.
"A bit, but truth be told, I was just happy you woke up. I rather prefer this over the alternative," Leon admitted softly with a gentle and reassured smile.
"So, shall we start from the beginning again?" Gwaine asked with a broad grin that beamed with his enthusiasm.
"If you’re sure," Leon replied.
"Must I write you an invitation?" Gwaine huffed.
"It wouldn’t hurt," Leon teased.
The long-suffering sigh that left Gwaine’s mouth satisfied Leon greatly, and while Gwaine muttered something along the lines of "I’m supposed to be the high-maintenance one," Leon simply admired him. Leon wasn’t sure how this would go, but he at least knew one thing was for certain.
Gwaine had chosen him.
Gwaine had chosen him again.