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Sangwoo would not consider himself a romantic man.
Far from it, really. He had barely drabbled in dating, and when he did, he didn’t put in much effort. That’s how it was.
He wasn’t affectionate, he didn’t smile at his lovers longingly, he didn’t fall asleep with them, he didn’t stay up with them late and cuddle.
Sangwoo was not a affectionate man. But then, a certain man had to change that.
The first sign that something had changed, he wasn’t even in a relationship with Ali.
It was time to keep watch at the barricade again, Sae-Byeok had gotten tired. Sangwoo had nudged Ali awake with care.
His curls fell in front of his face messily, and his eyes groggily fluttered open with minor confusion. It didn’t help that there was a man crouching over his sleeping person, and the lack of lights made it hard to see. He squinted before realization flooded his face.
“It’s our shift.” The Korean reminded quietly, standing up. Ali nodded slowly and rose from his position, rubbing his eyes with a muffled yawn. If Sangwoo thought it was rather warming, he’d deny it.
Sangwoo made sure he wouldn’t fall back asleep before he made his way to the small space in the barricades, where they would sit for the remainder of their time.
It was dead silent, there was no noise, save the occasional loud breaths of the sleeping teammates. It was only that he started to pay attention again when Ali made his way beside Sangwoo, sitting down with his knees to his chest.
There was a silence that followed, Ali gazing at the barricades he’d assisted with earlier that evening.
“Hopefully that will keep them out..” Ali huffed, still a bit sleep-ridden. Sangwoo’s eyes were brought to the other player as he broke the quiet, blinking at him with question. “I am afraid it won’t. They seem much stronger than us.”
Sangwoo tilted his head. His hair lolled to the side, and Ali looked rather downcast, a contrast to the usual optimism his face shone with. A smile upturned Sangwoo’s lips, and it was a rare sight.
“Don’t think so negatively.” Sangwoo decided on, his voice low but intentional. Ali’s wide eyes flickered to him. “You did a very good job with the barricade, and you’re stronger than you think, Ali.”
It was barely any praise, but Ali’s face got a little more red and his face turned a little brighter. He fiddled with his fingers. “Thank you, hyung.”
Sangwoo’s smiled only grew at the reaction, and he nodded. “I’m only saying the truth.”
The second time, well; it wasn’t the most pleasant of times.
The marble game was horrible. So many people partnered up with people they trusted, only to have them die. But Sangwoo was desperate, and he came up with a plan. To play against other pairs.
By some miracle, the plan actually worked. As soon as the other two players were eliminated, Sangwoo pulled Ali to the exit and ran back to the dorms.
Ali was no short of traumatized. He didn’t seem to be responding, his eyes were wide and glazed over, there were tremors throughout his body.
Sangwoo felt for him. Ali was a kind man, and so of course this would affect him. Sangwoo just didn’t realize how much.
“Ali, it’s okay.” Sangwoo murmured lowly as they made it to the beds.
There were murmurs around the two. None were happy, they sensed. Gi-Hun and Sae-Byeok were there, having won the game. That meant.. well.
Ali winced, a high pitched sound of hopelessness. Sangwoo just pulled him to a bed and wrapped him in his arms.
“I know. But we survived.” He breathed, his chin resting atop the thick black curls. “And that’s enough.”
Ali wept into the player’s shirt, and Sangwoo held on tighter.
He and Ali didn’t get to share any more affections throughout the rest of the games. There was too much stress, it was all so quick. Passing gestures, simple but reassuring actions, but otherwise, there was no time. He’d never admit the fact, but Sangwoo missed it.
And then they won. All four— Gi-Hun, Sangwoo, Sae-Byeok, and Ali— they made it out alive.
They were dropped off on a dim lit street, which Gi-Hun mentioned he and Sae-Byeok had been dropped off the time they’d opted out of the game, and they had their money.
Sangwoo almost didn’t believe it. All of the death, the manipulation, the things he had to do to survive— and now it was just, over. It was over.
The first to react was Gi-Hun. A jerky breath was heard, and then he lunged to hug Sae-Byeok. She didn’t pull away. She nudged her face into his shoulder and gave a small smile, tightly embracing him.
Sangwoo, his eyes widened in final realization of the situation they’d just gotten out of. Ali was frozen in place. The Pakistani was shocked, and Sangwoo couldn’t just stay away from him.
He pulled Ali in suddenly, drawing a startled gasp from the other. “I told you, you are strong.”
Ali was tense for a long moment, but then there was a soft laugh and he looked at Sangwoo with appreciation.
In a moment of bliss, he put his lips to Ali’s forehead in a gentle kiss, laughing a breathy laugh of near disbelief. Ali made a sound of thanks.
Gi-Hun looked at Sangwoo with a glint of question in his eyes, but ultimately— they were all too glad to care about much of anything.
The fact that Sangwoo wasn’t a romantic person was flipped on its back once they had gotten out.
All of them had sought out their families. Sae-byeok went to her brother, and started to work on saving her mother.
Gi-Hun was able to talk to his daughter, and make amends with his ex-wife. His mother’s health had worsened, but he had the money to try and help her.
Ali had went to try and find his wife and his son. He promised to keep in contact, but we was rather preoccupied.
And then there was Sangwoo. The discussion he had with his mother was difficult. The last she’d heard of him was that he’d committed various crimes— so it wasn’t like she greeted him with inviting arms. But she did cry at the sight of him.
He eventually got all of the legal stuff worked out. It wasn’t all gone, but he was in better shape, and that was enough for him.
But, he couldn’t ignore, that in the back of his head, he itched for Ali’s touch. He missed the man’s bright smile, his wide eyes. And he ignored that feeling, until a day came where he couldn’t.
It was a rather boring day for Sangwoo. He didn’t have plans, and nobody had contacted him that day. Usually, his mom would interact with him in some type of way from day to day, but she was busy at work. Gi-Hun was visiting his daughter, and Sae-Byeok didn’t talk to him through phone often.
So, when there was a knock at his door, he quirked a brow. He hadn’t ordered anything, he figured. But, he made his way to the door anyway.
And when he opened it, he stilled.
It was a disheveled Ali. He wore a casual t-shirt and jeans, but his hair was messy atop his head and his eyes were puffy. Sangwoo couldn’t tell if it was from crying or exhaustion.
At the door’s opening, Ali’s head shot up. His drooping eyes widened at the sight of Sangwoo— in almost disbelief. They hadn’t seen each other in a while. It hadn’t been that long, but it had felt like it.
“Ali?” Sangwoo spit out uselessly, wanting to break the quiet between the two of them. Ali looked at him blankly, seeming in a daze.
“My wife and my son are gone.” Ali said, and Sangwoo almost missed it with the volume of it. He seemed to snap out of it then, looking down at his hands. “I- I don’t know why I am here, I should go. I’m sorry—“
“No, no.” Sangwoo stopped him with haste, and he flinched. A hand was put onto Ali’s shoulder, and Sangwoo gave a small, saddened smile. “Ali, come in.”
Sangwoo had sat him down, and asked him to explain. Ali’s family had left their home, and Ali couldn’t find them. He looked and looked, but nowhere. Ali wept, crying to Sangwoo with words like “What if they’re dead?” or “She probably thought I abandoned her.”
Sangwoo just held him.
Things had changed, since then. Sangwoo invited Ali into his home, he asked if he wanted to stay there.
Ali was quick to shut it down, muttering things of not wanting to intrude. But it happened that, Ali ended up staying anyway.
Even if all the reaction he gave was a warm smile, Sangwoo was beyond ecstatic. He had missed that face of Ali’s. Now he was here again. All his.
His affection to Ali was almost constant.
It was too good to pass up, really. It wasn’t like Ali ever rejected it, either. All the more to do it.
On the couch, Sangwoo draped his arm around Ali. Ali blinked at the sudden warmth against his shoulders. It pushed himself out of the focus on the movie that was on the television screen, illuminating the otherwise dark area.
Ali looked over inquisitively, but Sangwoo kept his line of sight to the TV. Ali didn’t move, and neither did Sangwoo.
If Ali fell asleep on his shoulder an hour later; neither mentioned it.
They were with Gi-Hun and Sae-Byeok at Sangwoo’s place, they had ordered take-out to eat on slowly while just basking in one another’s presence.
“How is your family, Sae-Byeok?” Ali questioned absentmindedly.
She answered simply, chewing and swallowing her seasoned noodles and thinking on it. “They’re doing fine. Better.”
“That’s good.” Sangwoo added in politely. Gi-Hun perked up, seeming to having a thought before turning to his childhood friend.
“Mm, how’s your mother? I heard she’s been visiting you more recently.” He asked
with a mouth full of food. Sae-Byeok looked at him with a face that didn’t read amusement.
“Oh, she’s been alright.” Sangwoo replied easily. Ali’s eyes flickered in between them all. And oh, Sangwoo loved his curious eyes. He looked around in such happiness. Sangwoo put a hand on his back, a subconscious touch as he tilted his head towards Ali. “She’s always very glad to see me. And she likes Ali.”
Ali chuckled bashfully, head dipping down to the floor. Gi-Hun smiled knowingly. Sangwoo was oblivious to it.
The hang-out had turned into late, and the late turned into a sleepover. It wasn’t intentional, but they enjoyed each other’s company and weren’t too rushed to leave.
Sangwoo was the first to wake, an early bird, himself.
They’d fallen asleep in the living room area. He and Ali were on the couch, Sae-Byeok in a mess of blankets on the floor, and Gi-Hun against the sofa sitting.
Sangwoo remembered when he owned an apartment, before the game. His place wasn’t nearly as spacious, not nearly as comfortable. He supposed that’s how it was for everyone in here, though. They’d all been in the same situation at one point or another.
Ali stirred sleepily, breaking Sangwoo from his chain of thought. A smile broke on the Korean’s face— Ali looked so lovely in slumber. His hair was every which way, and his face seemed so at peace.
He moved again, head lolling and landing on Sangwoo’s leg. Sangwoo paused, unsure of what to do.
“Ali,” He prodded quietly. He nudged his shoulder. “Ali, it’s time to wake up. We should make breakfast for the others.”
Ali’s eyes twitched, and finally slid open with difficulty. He murmured unintelligible noises before finally coming to the realization that he’s been woken up.
“Mmph.. oh.” The Pakistani sighed, rising up from his position as if he hadn’t been on Sangwoo in the first place. “Good morning..”
Sangwoo nodded at him, observing as he stretching and yawned out of grogginess. Gi-Hun and Sae-Byeok were still fast asleep, but he predicted they’d most likely wake up soon.
“Did you sleep well?” Sangwoo asked. His genuine question was masked by his normal flat tone, but Ali appreciated it anyway.
“Mhm, my neck hurts though.” He replied with a chuckle. “That is probably what I get, for falling asleep on the couch.”
Sangwoo gave an amused smile in return, getting up from the cushion he was sat on. “I’ll go get out the things to make breakfast. You can join me if you want.”
Ali had indeed joined him, despite being a couple minutes later. He looked a bit more presentable now: his curls were brushed through briefly, and his clothes were straightened out.
“What are you making?” Ali asked, walking up to the counter beside his friend.
“Getting ready to make pancakes, right now.” Sangwoo hummed in reply. His eyes glanced from Ali to the ingredients, and back again. “Would you like to help?”
Ali’s eyes lit up, and Sangwoo basked in the sight. “Of course, if you would want me to.”
Sangwoo gave a ghost of a smile, gesturing for him to take his place.
And that’s how they ended up with Ali stirring and mixing the ingredients in the batter, with Sangwoo standing behind him watching.
“I’m sorry, I am not the best at cooking.” Ali huffed in good-natured embarrassment, and Sangwoo shook his head.
“It’s okay,” Sangwoo put his hand on Ali’s bicep and leaned his chin down to meet Ali’s other shoulder. “I think you are doing very well.”
Sangwoo couldn’t see his face, but the tone of his voice could make him chuckle. “Ah— mm, thank you, Sangwoo.”
Then there were footsteps, and the other two had joined them.
Sangwoo looked over: Gi-Hun looked at them like it was normal, at this point, and Sae-Byeok— well, her eyebrows were raised while she muttered phrases of “It’s too early for this.”
Sangwoo cleared his throat awkwardly, pushing away from Ali and asking if they were okay with pancakes.
“You like Ali.”
The statement from his childhood friend caught him off guard, making him blink a few times and sit down his mug.
“What?” Sangwoo said blankly.
Gi-Hun had a grin on his face, one Sangwoo could read as sly. Suddenly, he was glad Ali wasn’t in the room.
“You like Ali.” The man repeated. His eyebrow quirked up, signaling his impatience.
“I mean.. yeah, he’s a good friend.” It sounded like a desperate aversion, and it didn’t work.
“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Sangwoo! You have a crush on Ali!”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do. I’ve seen how lovesick you act around him!” To further prove his dramatized point, Gi-Hun put a hand to his head and fell back in a faux action of fainting.
“How do you even mean?” At the counter, Gi-Hun leaned back up and looked at him deadpan. Sangwoo’s eyes cast down to his hands, he thought about it. “Do I? I don’t, do I?”
Gi-Hun raised both his eyebrows. Sangwoo’s eyes were on the floor.
“Oh, shit.”
At the new revelation, was not well. He tried denying it many times, and Gi-Hun just pointed out the flaws in his logic. Sangwoo was irritated. It’s not like he had a chance with Ali. And now he had to face his hopeless, one-sided pining forever? That sucked.
“He won’t like me back.” Sangwoo grunted stubbornly one day, while with Gi-Hun. Ali was asleep in his room, and Sae-Byeok had gone to the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of water.
“But, how do you know that?” Gi-Hun was tired of arguing about the same thing for so long. Sangwoo had brought it up so many times, and not given a reason as to why. It was like arguing with a brick wall, Gi-Hun mused.
“Because- Because he used to have a wife, you know?” Sangwoo pointed out.
“Means basically nothing. What if he’s attracted to multiple genders?”
Sangwoo paused, and groaned under his breath. Neither of them listened to each other, as insistent as they were when they were children. But, Sangwoo figured, he had a valid point to be stubborn. If he confessed to Ali, and Ali didn’t reciprocate, their relationship would strain. It would be awkward and fake between them, and Sangwoo would rather just pine. Doing so seemed easier, Ali would still be his friend and he would still be able to talk to the man.
“Did I miss something?”
Sangwoo jumped, looking to the source of the voice, and Sae-Byeok was in the doorway. She held water with a complex expression on her face.
Now Sae-Byeok knew of his little crush— just great.
When Sangwoo confessed, it was unintentional.
He had been texting Sae-Byeok; she had questioned him about his crush. Thankfully, she hadn’t heard a name, but she was quick to guess. “It’s Ali, isn’t it?” She’d said. Sangwoo huffed.
He’d been interrupted by a text from Ali. The Pakistani had been out for a walk, and he often notified Sangwoo when he was home.
“I’m home :)” was the simple message he received, and Sangwoo replied with “Alright.” before clicking back to his list of contacts and going to Sae-Byeok.
He texted back an irritated confirmation and sent it. “Yes, I have feelings for Ali. You can stop asking me about it.”
“?”
“Hyung?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sangwoo?”
He had fucked up terribly.
Sangwoo contemplated making an excuse. It was a prank? (Sangwoo would never do that, it was too out of character.) He was drunk, maybe? (There was no alcohol in the house. Ali was Muslim, and he and his mother just didn’t think of it.) He didn’t mean Ali? (That just wasn’t believable. Ali wasn’t stupid.)
Ali shifted in his seat across from Sangwoo, and Sangwoo felt his stomach twist.
“Did you mean it?” Ali mumbled, his tone more tentative than it usually was.
Sangwoo’s head tilted up. “What?”
“Did you mean what you said?”
A sharp inhale of breath.
“I did.”
Ali’s fidgeting hands stilled, and he returned the gaze Sangwoo gave him. His face was unreadable— it was such a contrast from the easily read expressions he commonly wore, and Sangwoo hated it. It made him feel even worse.
Sangwoo looked at the ground, sighing harshly and swallowing. “I’m sorry, that must be weird. I’m sorry.”
Ali got up then, and Sangwoo was confused. Was he leaving? Sangwoo supposed he understood. The Pakistani made a few steps forward, and Sangwoo was prepared to say goodbye.
But then, he sat down beside Sangwoo. His eyes were glued to the ground, he seemed flushed and hesitant. “I have feelings for you too.”
Sangwoo froze. He looked at Ali, who was now flustered and seeming to consider running out of the room.
“Really?”
“Yes- Yeah.”
Sangwoo didn’t react, he just stared. Until he broke out into a smile. A genuinely happy smile, and Ali looked up at him with adoration in his eyes.
“Ali, do you think,” Ali tilted his head, he looked more sure of himself now. “do you think I can kiss you?”
Ali’s mouth fell open an inch, a subtle show of his surprise. Sangwoo laughed softly, and Ali nodded at him dumbly.
“Good.” Sangwoo’s eyes held admiration in them now. He studied Ali’s face, his eyes, his nose, and lastly; his lips. They were pinkish brown and lush, perfect to kiss.
And so, that’s what Sangwoo did. He leaned in slowly, they both closed their eyes, and their lips touched.
The kiss was warm, and reassuring for both of them. Sangwoo put a hand on Ali’s arm, and Ali pressed in closer. Sangwoo smiled wider.
When they pulled away for air, their foreheads stay in contact, their eyes still drooped close in content. Ali made a sound of joy. Sangwoo huffed in amusement, and he murmured lowly to his Ali.
“You’re all mine, Ali.”
And Ali didn’t object.