Chapter Text
"C'mon, you might have fun." And now she's starting to sound a little frustrated.
"I don't know, Anne," Eddie rubs his face. He's tired of having this kind of conversation with her. That, and the heat in her apartment is too high. Both things are equally uncomfortable.
"It's just an app," she smiles. "I think it's time for you to... you know, get out there."
"I just feel like Tinder is kind of a desperate measure."
"Well, they seem to be desperate times."
Eddie wrinkles his nose at that, stares back down at his coffee. Anne's face softens, a bit regretful.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." She sighs. "It's just... I think it'd be good for you to meet some new people. See if something comes out of it. I just hate seeing you so... lonely."
Not lonely Venom, who has been unprecedentedly quiet these past few minutes, growls somewhere in his head. He winces, a stab of anger that's not his.
"Not lonely," he mutters. "I'm just not sure how it would work with... you know."
I can tell you are talking about me. I'm not deaf. Venom says, a bit spiteful. He rollls his eyes.
Anne frowns at him, like she's trying to figure something out, but seems to give up halfway through.
"I know. But I think you deserve to be happy. Just give it a try, he'll probably be okay with it. I'm sure he wants you to be happy, too." And she doesn't quite look at him when she says it, even if her eyes are staring at his face, rather it seems like she's trying to look past him, through him, and she says it in such a way that it's clearly intended to lead Venom in the general direction of Eddie's wellbeing. He tends to listen to Anne, and he's rather easy to manipulate, if he's being honest.
I am not.
Eddie groans. "I think we'll need to discuss it first."
"Yeah, of course. I just think it's worth a shot."
"Sure," he says, but there's something uncomfortable buzzing in the back of his mind that he can't quite shake.
-
Venom's silent most of the way home. Pensive. It's unusual. Once he's past the door of the apartment, Eddie grabs a beer from the fridge and flops down on the couch to watch TV.
Eddie.
"Yes?"
It takes a second for Venom to reply, so he repeats himself. "Yes, V?"
What is 'Tinder'? he asks weakly, something unsure in his voice, clearly embarrassed that Eddie knows something he doesn't.
"Uhm." He pauses, sets his beer on the coffee table. He doesn't really know how to lead this conversation, much less what to expect of it. Even considering the prospect of joining Tinder seems like a bad idea - Venom's very distrustful, he knows, and keeping him separate from a potential relationship doesn't seem like an option, not to mention the sheer insanity of actually getting into a relationship when he's not the only one inhabiting his body -- their body.
Either way, he's not entirely sure he even wants to go back to dating. It sounds tiring and way too risky on more than one front, but more than that, he just plain does not feel like it; he doesn't feel the need for anyone else in his life.
"It's a dating app," he says, finally.
Venom emerges abruptly from his shoulder.
"Dating?"
"Yeah."
He feels Venom getting defensive in a way that reminds him of an angry cat, hairs standing on end. "As in Romance?"
He tries to answer as neutrally as he can. "Well, it's not always... romantic. It's trial and error really, to see if maybe you end up meeting someone you're, y'know, compatible with."
"We are compatible." If he actually were a cat, he would've hissed.
"I know we are, bud, but it's a different kind of compatibility."
"How so?"
"Well, there's... stuff I can't do with you."
"We can do anything."
He picks up his beer again, takes a sip. "Not really, pal."
It's not that sex is at the forefront of his thoughts, but when he thinks about it, he finds it hard to come up with anything else he and Venom can't share. Venom doesn't press him on it either. He feels him less alert, less spiky.
"It's a bad suggestion. We do not want to date."
The way he says it, like it's a fact, pisses him off instantly, even if he knows Venom's right, even if Venom knows he's right. He raises an eyebrow. He's really not into the idea, but doing what he's told not to has become second nature (maybe always was).
"Oh, really?" And he hates how it comes out, petty as fuck and not at all threatening.
"We're not doing it."
It's a command. He shivers for reasons he can't quite place, but decides to push forward.
"You're right. We're not. I am."
Venom growls. Something stirrs inside of Eddie, but he chooses to ignore it. "There is no you without us."
He thinks the sentence should've hurt somehow, should confuse him or make him question his personhood and identity, but it doesn't. He actually kind of likes it. His cheeks go red. He hates that Venom can know, and it only makes him angrier.
"I don't need your permission," and he feels about six years old saying it. Pathetic. He feels venom start to wrap a delicate tendril around his upper arm after the self-depricating thought. It's something that's been happening lately, whenever Eddie thinks about any of the ways in which he's a sad piece of shit Venom will give his arm a little squeeze. He thinks - feels - it's meant to be a way to snap him out of it, or maybe even a comforting gesture, and somehow it doesn't feel weird at all. This time it barely lasts as Venom seems to remember they're in the beginning of a fight and he retracts inmediately.
"You do."
His face heats up, either from anger, unjustified embarrassment or a mix of both.
"Last I checked, you're just a guest in this body." Lie. "If you don't like what I do with it you're welcome to find yourself another one."
Venom goes quiet for a change. Eddie grabs his phone, and goes straight to the app store.
*
"What d'you think about her?"
He waits for Venom's response, but it doesn't come.
The girl in the picture is pretty, likes hiking and tabletop games. He swipes left, and the pic is gone.
He rolls his eyes.
"How long you gonna keep sulking about it?"
No answer.
"C'mon, V. It's just a fucking date. Will you at least help me choose?" He swipes left on a shirtless guy with a snapback. Seemed like a douche. Venom's still not talking.
He feels stupid arguing alone.
"Fine, be like that," he says, and swipes right on the next profile without even clicking on it.
IT'S A MATCH! pops up on the screen.
*
They meet up outside of the restaurant. The only things he learnt from her profile are that she's fluent in french and loves Tolstoy.
Pretentious.
He clenches his fist.
"Hey, you're Jenny, right?"
"And you're Eddie." She's petite and blonde and her lips are a thick red that matches her skirt.
Pretentious and short.
Eddie wants to respond, he's not used to silencing himself when Venom's in one of his moods, but has to keep stopping himself, and he's not sure how he's going to get through an entire night of this. His smile tightens. If she notices she doesn't say so.
"So."
"So," She smiles warmly at him. "Shall we?"
*
The restaurant is nice, and she's nice too. Venom is not. It's hard to keep focus on the conversation with Venom spewing any and all criticisms of this girl he can think of - she's too loud for someone so small and too chipper for Venom's taste, she's a vegetarian thus she's weak, she wore too much perfume which must mean she's a bit desperate, and Eddie just wants him to shut up.
She doesn't seem to notice Eddie's inner turmoil, though. She's telling jokes that are actually funny, and telling stories that are actually interesting, and surprisingly Eddie is managing to keep up.
You like her. And it sounds like an accusation, but also a bit threatening, malicious.
"...Yeah, it was kind of a rough time in my life..." She goes on.
You think she's pretty.
"...But, y'know, everything happens for a reason, and..."
You think she's nice.
"...I really think I'm better off having been through it."
Maybe I should introduce myself.
"Don't!" Eddie says, louder than he would've wanted. He grimaces.
"Um. You okay?" She says, alarmed.
"Uh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I just--" And he doesn't really know how to continue. They stare at each other for a second. She's frowning. He clears his throat. "Sorry. Let's ignore that, I'm listening."
"Uh. Alright."
Venom lets out a little laugh. He clenches his fist. He tries to calm himself, tries to at least look like he's listening.
"Well, as I said, it was hard, but... You wanna know a secret?"
"Sure."
And then she makes the mistake of leaning a bit too much into Eddie's space. Venom doesn't like it. He feels sick with anxiety and anticipation. As she leans, he feels his lip quirk up; not a smile: a snarl.
"I think there's nothing we can't live through," she whispers, and smiles softly, placing her hand on Eddie's right arm. He shivers for all the wrong reasons, and before he can stop it his closed fist shoots up and bangs on the table, hard enough that it shakes. She jumps. He goes wide eyed, freezes.
She's staring at him in shock, frozen too.
Some people from the tables around them are also staring.
"God, I'm so sorry, I just--"
You blew it, Eddie. Loser.
"Will you just shut the fuck up?!"
"Excuse me?" She says. Jesus, this is fucked.
"No, sorry, I'm not-- I wasn't talking to you, I--"
"I think I'm gonna go home." She says, already gathering her coat and purse. There's curious eyes all around them, and Eddie just wants to fucking die.
"Yeah, sorry about-- nice to meet you."
She nods briefly, her mouth pressed into a thin line, and bolts.
*
"How long are you going to be sulking?" Venom quotes him as they cross the threshold of the apartment. The fucking nerve.
"What the fuck was that?" He brings his hands up to his face. "God, you're such a fucking asshole!"
"And you are a loser."
"I don't think you get it," he says as he sits on the couch. "You fucking ruined my life."
"I made you better."
"No, you idiot! You fucked up my future!"
That seems to take Venom aback, which is odd. Eddie rarely manages to surprise or startle him.
"You didn't know her," he says, but something in his voice feels... insecure.
"That's not what I mean. You ruined all my possibilities. I can't do shit without you being there all the fucking time. I have changed everything in my life just to accommodate you. You're a goddamn parasite."
"I AM NOT A PARASITE!"
"You sure act like one, then! If it weren't for you I could-- I could have sex, have relationships, walk down the street without everyone staring at me like I'm crazy because I'm talking with myself! I could listen to fucking nightcore."
"You don't like nightcore."
"I know! It's an example!" Venom stares at him as he pants after all the screaming. He clenches his fist, hard, digging his nails into his palm. A tendril grabs his wrist firmly to get him to stop, and his heart skips a beat, the anger melting away until there's just a knot in his throat and no heat. He kind of wishes he could evict him, eject him somehow, just for a bit so he could be alone with his thoughts - there's too many of them, and for the first time in a long time he feels self-conscious about Venom peeking around in his brain.
He seems to understand Eddie's thoughts, and retreats back into his body. His wrist now feels cold, and a bit sore.
He doesn't come out or even speak to him the whole night, and Eddie has trouble sleeping. Trouble sleeping and not feeling like a fuck up. He probably overdid it, he knows, even if he has every right to be mad. He strokes his wrist and closes his eyes, the ghost of Venom's touch still there.