Work Text:
When Jisung first met Felix, he didn't have any negative feelings for him then. They first met through their friends group chat as Chan's younger brother from Australia who was going to be going to their college, hoping that Changbin would show him around, then eventually when being introduced in person, they were met with shy smiles and obvious freckles.
[tHe CiRcUs]
7 participants; 7 online
[pup]
Father has news.
[Chaddy the Daddy]
I have news
wtf Seung??
[babie]
Language!!
[Chaddy the Daddy]
Sigh
Nevermind I dont have news
[Evil cat aunt]
You can tell Chans old cause he didnt use 'nvm'
[tiny buff dwarf man]
youer like less than a year younger thn him tho
[Evil cat aunt]
Still younger
[annoying cutie]
wha was your news hyung??
[babie]
*cough* suck up *cough*
[annoying cutie]
shuddup >;[
[Princely]
news Channie-hyung???
[pup]
News! News! News!
[babie]
news! news! news!
[annoying cutie]
news! news! news!
[Evil cat aunt]
News! News! News!
[Chaddy the Daddy]
Alright!!
Ill give yall the news
[pup]
Pfft, 'yall'.
[Chaddy the Daddy]
-_-
Anyways..
My little brother has decided to go to college with us this next semester sooo
Since he's from Down Under like me, he'll need help adjusting if yall are cool
[pup]
Pfft, 'yall'
[Princey]
ooooo a mini chan?
whats he like??
[Chaddy the Daddy]
He's really kind, shy to new people to be careful
He can't speak korean well yet so just be patient please
[Evil cat aunt]
Since you're daddy and he's your brother
Is he also daddy as well? Do we call him uncle now??
[Chaddy the Daddy]
No!
No hitting on Felix and no calling him daddy or uncle or any weird name until he's use to yall
[tiny buff dwarf man]
so once he's comfortable around us then we can call him daddy??
got it
[Chaddy the Daddy]
No no no
No calling him daddy
Stop calling me daddy as well!
Guys?
Im serious!
-_-
read 4:47 P.M; 09/27/21
Hearing about Felix, how Chan always spoke highly of him, Jisung thought that he and Felix would get along just fine.. And they did the first few times they met before things started going downhill.
When Jisung and Felix actually met in person, Jisung thought it was like two suns hiding behind the clouds, too shy to come out and be themselves, instead hiding their brightness. As the hangouts became more frequent, it was like the clouds had moved and the two got along tremendously, with many similarities and interests, it wasn't hard to get along with Felix.
But with Changbin quickly started to always inviting Felix to their hangouts then eventually just constantly canceling on Jisung for Felix, not even bothering to invite Jisung, the younger thought of himself less as a sun and more as the moon, where everyone just preferred the sun over him and no one wanted the darkness of the moon around.
[2basco]
2 participants; 2 online
[pointyG]
you in the studio ealready?
[H.two]
Duh
cause i show up on time
[pointyG]
HARDLY
Anways
mind if Felix joins us?
[H.two]
nah i dont mind
can he rap or sing??
[pointyG]
Dunno
guess well find out
read 5:13 P.M; 10/12/21
[2basco]
2 participants; 2 online
[pointyG]
Omw
Felix is joinin us agian
[H.two]
Niceee
bring food
[pointyG]
no
[H.two]
:(
read 5:07 P.M; 10/16/21
[2basco]
2 participants; 2 online
[pointyG]
hangin with Fe tonight
wont be able to make ot
[H.two]
but you promised D:
[pointyG]
i did no such thing dramtic child
well just do it anoter day
[H.two]
Cmon
please join us hyung
read 5:32 P.M; 10/21/21
[2basco]
2 participants; 2 online
[pointyG]
wont be able to head to studio toniht
[H.two]
boo you suck
[pointyG]
Jerk
read 4:19 P.M; 10/24/21
[2basco]
2 participants; 2 online
[H.two]
ready for 3racha movie night???? :D
[pointyG]
sorry sung
tell Chan i cant make it
[H.two]
whyyyyy D:
[pointyG]
homework, exams, revising and shit
promised id help Felix too
gotta do it tonigt
[H.two]
youve been like studying forever
take a break
[pointyG]
i promised Fe
[H.two]
please hyung?
[pointyG]
i realy cant tonight
sorry sung
[H.two]
but i havent seen you in like years
when do we get to hang out?? :(
your always busy with felix and shizz
[pointyG]
damn jisung
we dont have to hangout everyday
bcak off alil alright?
[H.two]
Ah
im sorry hyung
read 6:55 P.M; 10/29/21
Jisung just lost his best friend. Maybe not in a permanent sense but they'll never be the same. Changbin was too hung up on Felix to try and make it up to Jisung, not even noticing the storm running through the younger's mind. Too many missed planned studio hangouts, missed studying sessions that just turn into ranting sessions with ice cream, too many words just unspoken.
Jisung just lost his best friend to Felix.
[Block pointyG?]
[ yes ] [no]
Jisung felt awkward anytime he was around Changbin but the older didn't seem to notice.. or care. Though, now, the only time they actually hung out was the group hangouts where everyone (including Felix) was there. Jisung doubted that the older even noticed that he had blocked him. Jisung was even going to unblock him the next afternoon, thinking he'd been overreacting but something stopped him from doing so, wanting to get a possible reaction from the older that just never came.. Guess Jisung's just not that important to him..
With Changbin busy, Jisung and Chan have picked up the slack during the studio sessions, managing to make great beats and produce a few songs but it always felt like something someone was missing.
Things were slowly improving but as time passed, Chan had to split his time between Jisung and Felix, only seemingly able to spend time with Jisung in the studio while he was constantly helping Felix get situated in Korea. Between helping with the language, the culture shock, Jisung understood how difficult it was and even offered to help himself but Chan always turned him down.
Maybe Chan didn't want to be around Jisung either.. Preferring his younger brother to his supposedly 'closest' friend.
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 2 online
[problem child]
channnieee hyunngggg you on your way?
pls bring foood
[darth father]
Sorry Sung, me and Fe just left the cafe
Already halfway there
[problem child]
but im starving Dx
read 4:53 P.M; 11/03/21
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 2 online
[problem child]
Hyung??
you still coming??
your late >:[
CHANNIE HYUNG
WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU
:(
read 7:43 P.M; 11/07/21
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 2 online
[darth father]
Shit
Sorry Sung, fell asleep watching movies
[problem child]
:(
with who?
[darth father]
Felix and Changbin
[problem child]
at 5 in the afternoon? >;[
[darth father]
Im sorry
I promise to be there tonight
[problem child]
its fine
cant tonight
have work
read 11:27 A.M; 11/08/21
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 2 online
[problem child]
on your way, bring snacks?
[darth father]
I actually cant tonight
Something came up
[problem child]
:o what happened??
[darth father]
Small family problem, be there tomorrow
read 4:51 P.M; 11/11/21
[bday twins]
2 participants; 2 online
[twin1]
is chan with you?
[twin2]
him and binnie yeah why
[twin1]
what yall doing?
[twin2]
theyre helping me with korean theng etting food later
why
[twin1]
just checking
[twin2]
wanna join us
Sung?
read 5:06 P.M; 11/11/21
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 2 online
[darth father]
Sorry about last time
You still coming tonight?
[problem child]
no
[darth father]
Jisung
Please
Im sorry
Sung?
read 5:16 P.M; 11/13/21
[bday twins]
2 participants; 2 online
[twin2]
jisung
[twin1]
felix
[twin2]
cant you stop ignoring channie hyung pls
[twin1]
no
[twin2]
why not
its stressing him out and hurtful
[twin1]
sucks ig
[twin2]
are you serious
its hurting chan and you dont even care
Wtf
thoght you were nicer than that jisung
[twin1]
you dont know shit about me felix
so leave me the fuk alone please
[twin2]
no wtf
i thought we were friends
chans like your closest friend
how the hell could you do this
[twin1]
its all your fuking fault!
having to be the center of attention
needing everyone to focus on you
with your fucking freckles and stupid accent
no one cares
so leave me alone
read 1:44 P.M; 11/15/21
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 1 online
[darth father]
What the hell is your problem Jisung?
Why the fuck are you acting like this?
Acting like a dick and making fun of Felix's insecurities?
Youve been acting different and need to get your act together
Stay away from everyone for awhile until you do
Before you hurt someone else
read 2:12 P.M; 11/15/21
Chan left him. Chan literally dropped Jisung from their 3racha studio sessions (where Changbin would occasionally show up) due to one fight. Maybe Jisung said a few bad things, not in his right state of mind, but to just block him? He can't even try to fix this? He didn't mean to say those things.. He was just hurt. Chan easily pushed him to the side for Felix, sort of lying about being busy, then Felix saying that he was hurting Chan on purpose.
No one wanted to hear his side but maybe they just didn't care enough to listen.
Maybe the regret of calling Felix those terrible things didn't sink in until the next morning but is he that bad of a person to just be easily discarded? Maybe he is a little clingy, a tad annoying, an obvious insecurity streak that causes him to lash out at times but does that mean..
Jisung supposes so.
Chan left him for Felix.
[father I am your son]
2 participants; 1 online
[problem child]
Chan-hyung?
Undelivered.
im sorry
Undelivered.
Please
Undelivered.
i ddint mean ot
Undelivered.
Plese
Undelivered.
hyung?
Undelivered.
Chan blocked him. Hyunjin blocked him. He blocked Changbin but he's sure that Changbin also blocked him now. Seungmin and Jeongin didn't even message him outside the group chat before so nothing's changed there. All he really has is Minho at the moment.
[tree animals]
2 participants; 2 online
[lil squirrel]
Umm
hey hyung?
[cat hyungie]
Hey Jisung
[lil squirrel]
oh
youve actually responded
[cat hyungie]
Should I not?
[lil squirrel]
no no!
i just meant no one else has
[cat hyungie]
I wonder why
[lil squirrel]
im sorry hyung
ik i messed up
but please dont ignore me two hyung
[cat hyungie]
Im not going to Sung
Ill admit I wasnt happy
But Im not just gonna drop you now
[lil squirrel]
thank you hyung :)
can we hang out tonight?
[cat hyungie]
Cant tonight, too busy with homework and exams
How about tomorrow night?
[lil squirrel]
yes please :)
read 5:46 P.M; 11/21/21
[tree animals]
2 participants; 2 online
[lil squirrel]
can we hang out today?
[cat hyungie]
Sure Sung but not for long
Early exam in the morning
[lil squirrel]
okay :D
good luck hyungie!!
read 5:46 P.M; 11/24/21
[tree animals]
2 participants; 2 online
[lil squirrel]
[image sent]
[cat hyungie]
Awe cute!
[lil squirrel]
found this lil guy outside my dorm
[cat hyungie]
Adorable
Make sure its warm and being fed
[lil squirrel]
i will hyung no worries
.. are you able to come over soon?
[cat hyungie]
Not this week Sung
Sorry, been training for the dance competition thats in a few weeks
Was just taking a break now but I gotta get back
[lil squirrel]
ah no worries (again)
good luck on the competition!
ill be cheering you on
[cat hyungie]
Thanks Sung
read 5:46 P.M; 11/30/21
Minho stopped looking towards him. When Felix joined the group, it was obvious everyone in the friend group was curious, somewhat fascinated by the new kid. But Jisung didn't think at the beginning that too much would change. He was obviously wrong. With the lack of 3racha, Jisung now found himself clinging desperately onto Minho, his last hope of sanity.
Sure, Minho was mad about the fight but he just brushed it off, not wanting to be in the middle, still offering his support on the side. It helped Jisung, knowing that his soulmate crush has remained the same as before. Well, he thought, until watching during his hangouts with Minho, (that he secretly would call a date in his head) Minho would often check his phone, smiling at the incoming messages from Felix. Jisung didn't want to believe it, Minho could be flirting with anyone other than Felix and Jisung would probably be less upset but with Felix, the boy who seems to just keep taking from Jisung, is taking his crush too.
While Jisung and Minho's text conversations were often short and to the point (not without trying from Jisung's side), it seemed like when Minho texted Felix, their conversations would last forever.
Minho stopped looking towards him to stare at Felix.
[tree animals]
2 participants; 2 online
[lil squirrel]
movie night still? :D
[cat hyungie]
Sorry Jisung
I actually have a date tonight
[lil squirrel]
Oh
with who?
[cat hyungie]
Felix
I finally asked him out earlier
[lil squirrel]
have fun :)
12/17/21; 1:52 P.M.
[block cat hyungie?]
[ yes ] [no]
And Jisung was alone. Pitifully alone.
He wanted to unblock everyone he had but just couldn't, he wanted them to know something was wrong, practically craved that someone would actually check up on him themselves but it seemed to never come.
Like Jisung was never there to begin with.
He ignored the emails that were constantly incoming from his professors, first with confusion one why he wasn't showing up, then annoyance for Jisung on ruining his grades, then anger for trying to waste his professors time.
Jisung wanted to respond to the first one but he didn't know what to say. 'Sorry, every time I think of leaving my house just gets me so exhausted that I can't even get out of bed.' Jisung didn't want people to think he's just wanting attention but he didn't want to lie so he just left the emails unanswered.
He also ignored the calls coming from his work. His manager hated when anyone called out so Jisung usually opts to just message her when he does but he's been so wrapped up that he's forgotten, leaving him to suffer with his ringtone going off every day for a week until the last call ends with a sizable voicemail, most likely having fired Jisung.
No job, about to be kicked out of college, going to lose housing. The reason he went to such a far college from home is to not be around his overbearing parents but with how things are looking, he might just have to either become homeless or go back.
Just the thought of those options has Jisung sent into a panic where he eventually forces himself to stop thinking about the future, lying in bed, knowing things have gone to shit and won't get better but he can't do it by himself so it's best to just lie in bed, safe in his blankets for the time being.
So much time alone, so much panic, so much darkness..
Jisung stopped crying a while ago but his new thoughts have him sobbing on how his life has gotten to this point. He was happy 6 months ago but now his mind has caved in on itself, leaving Jisung with one option and no one to stop him.
In the end, Jisung still couldn't hate Felix. How the sunshine represented male just made everyone around him happy..
Happy except for him.
Jisung still couldn't hate him as he'd grown cold, alone on his bathroom floor for the first and last time.
You have one new voicemail:
".. Hi hyung.. I- I don't know exactly what to say anymore.. I thought it through earlier but I didn't write it down.. I can't write anymore.. I'm sorry.. I never meant what I said.. I was upset, not in the right state of mind- still aren't but-..” a loud sniff was heard accompanied by a short pause. “I tried.. Maybe I could have tried harder but it hurt- hurt so much and I just- I don't want to be done but I am..”
There was a long pause, just silence coming from the phone for a moment.
“'M sorry.. You blocked me.. I wonder if you'll ever hear this.. I just-.. Just wanted to be helped but no one wanted to help..!” A short sob followed by wet sniffling was heard.
“'M sorry hyung.. I hope the group will still be happy..” A choking gulp echoed through the speaker. “.. ‘s too late for me hyung..”
Another long pause.
“I still love you guys.."
Click.