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Caitlyn always forgot to breathe at this part. Her whole body strained against the mattress, heels pressing down, hips lifted, the tension in her low belly rising to fill the whole of her chest and leaving absolutely no room for breath in its wake. Her muscles, pulled tighter than violin strings, began to shake. Vi’s lips brushed her jaw with remarkable tenderness considering what her hand was currently doing to the rest of her body.
“You alright?” she murmured, her breath drifting down Cait’s neck. “You have to breathe, remember?”
Cait did remember then and, while she couldn’t respond verbally, she did take a massive, gasping breath. She felt Vi’s smile against her neck.
“Good girl,” Vi said.
Those two words launched Caitlyn full bore over the edge of the precipice. Her orgasm unfolded like a nuclear reaction, starting with the tiniest of sensations at the center of her core and rippling outward with alarming speed and power, overcoming every one of her senses. A cry ripped itself from her throat as she buckled, her body spasming with the ripples of pleasure. She tightened her arms around Vi’s shoulders and felt her press a hand to the back of her head, holding her steady there while her other fingers guided her deftly through the coursing waves.
When the orgasm finally subsided, Cait collapsed back onto the mattress, breathing in full force now, gasping for air as she struggled to steady her racing heart. Vi pressed a kiss to her collarbone, then another, then leaned back. When Cait finally managed to open her eyes, Vi was lying with her head propped up on her hand, watching Cait with a small smile on those beautiful, shapely lips.
“What?” Cait asked between breaths.
“How was that?”
“Oh,” Cait said, closing her eyes again, waving a hand limply. “Alright, I suppose.”
Vi laughed a little, leaning in again to kiss along Caitlyn’s neck until she reached the lobe of her ear. “I can give it another try, if that one was so lackluster.”
Cait turned her head, capturing Violet’s mouth in a long kiss. When they separated, she said, “If you must know, that orgasm was earth-shattering. Well done and all that.”
“Happy to oblige,” Vi smiled, and kissed her again.
When she pulled away, Cait opened her eyes, cupping Vi’s cheek. “What can I do for you?”
Vi shook her head as she laid back on her pillow. “I’m good, I promise.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Can I ask you something?”
Different night, same breathless ending. Caitlyn lay boneless in their bed, curled up beneath the covers, watching as Vi rinsed the strap in the sink across the room and cleaned the harness. Vi glanced at her in the mirror.
“Sure, cupcake.”
“How many women have you been with?”
Vi chuckled, glancing back down into the sink. “A few. Why?”
“No, but….how many?”
Vi put the strap on the countertop and hung up the harness on the door to dry, toweling off her hands before crossing back over to the bed. She climbed onto the mattress, straddling Caitlyn’s body with a playful expression on her face.
“You want their names so you can throw them in jail or what?” she teased.
Caitlyn felt a blush color her cheeks as she pressed her hands to Vi’s strong chest, still partially covered by her bra.
“No, nothing like that. I’m just curious, is all.”
Vi slid a knuckle under her chin, lifting her face til their gazes met. “What’s this about, sweetheart?”
It still made butterflies erupt in Caitlyn’s chest when she called her that. Vi’s eyes were warm and a little concerned as she searched Caitlyn’s face.
“Nothing, honestly,” Caitlyn said, her fingers drifting absently across Vi’s shoulders. “I was just thinking about how you’re my first and I...well I can’t imagine that I’m yours.”
Vi rolled to the side, laying to face Caitlyn and resting her head on her arm. She looked thoughtful, gazing into the distance for a moment.
“Three,” she said finally.
“Three,” Cait repeated. “Okay.”
Vi laughed a little. “‘Okay’? What does ‘okay’ mean?”
“I thought it would’ve been more.”
“Well,” Vi said, shrugging, “one was when I was younger, but I don’t really know if it counts. We fooled around, but we were both kids. We didn’t really know what we were doing.”
“What about the other two?”
Vi snorted. “The other two were a couple of flings I managed to snag before they threw me in high security for putting too many of my fellow inmates in the hospital.”
“Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“I’m not!” Caitlyn said hastily. “I’m just surprised.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re just…” Caitlyn traced a finger across Vi’s cheekbone, down her jaw, her neck, pressing a palm to her chest, her heartbeat picking up speed as her eyes surveyed the rest of Vi’s considerable form. “Well, I mean, look at you.”
When she looked back up at Vi’s face, she was surprised to see that there was a soft blush coloring her cheeks. “I could say the same about you, you know,” Vi said quietly.
“Me?” Caitlyn laughed. “No, I’m not like you. I’m just another naive topsider, no one looks twice at me.”
Vi rolled forward, leaning up on her elbows over Caitlyn. The movement was fluid and swift, almost startling, but her eyes were creased with a small, adoring smile.
“I did,” she said, and kissed Caitlyn tenderly.
When their lips parted, Vi brushed the tips of their noses together. “Did I answer all your questions, cupcake?”
A thrill of nerves rolled through Caitlyn’s stomach as she began second-guessing her intentions to ask one more question. But it had been needling at her brain for a while, and now seemed like as good a time as ever.
“Were they…” she hesitated. “Were they better than me? In bed, I mean.”
The question made Vi’s expression go serious. “What?”
A flush rose in Caitlyn’s cheeks. Vi’s brows had lowered and she looked almost upset, as though Caitlyn had hurt her feelings.
“It’s not something you’ve done,” Caitlyn said hastily. “I only wondered if they had...been able to make you come. Since that’s something I’ve not done for you.”
“Oh,” Vi said, her eyebrows lifting a little. “No, I mean they didn’t do that for me either. I’m...not big on being touched.”
That certainly seemed to be the case. In all the times they’d had sex, she’d never allowed Caitlyn to return the favor of an orgasm, insisting that she didn’t need or want one, or that she was already worn out enough. Caitlyn swallowed, her fingers drifting mindlessly across Vi’s collarbones.
“I can hear you thinking,” Vi murmured.
“Can I ask...why you don’t like being touched?”
Vi was quiet for a long moment. Then she said, “It makes me nervous.”
Caitlyn was quiet, waiting for her to continue. Vi’s expression was serious, pensive, her eyes downcast as she sorted through her thoughts.
“I know how to make women feel good. It makes me feel good. Makes me feel...powerful.” Her nose wrinkled, her head turning a little to the side as though she were chastising herself. “That sounds weird.”
“It doesn’t,” Caitlyn said sincerely.
Vi glanced at her, nervously wetting her lips as she took a deep breath. “I just, I don’t know how to be touched, I guess. I’ve never done it before, but it’s not exactly a priority for me. I love what we do together. Touching you…” The blush was back, lightly reddening her cheeks. “It’s heaven. And it’s always been more than enough for me.”
“I understand,” Caitlyn said.
“Does that make sense?”
“Of course. Thank you for telling me.”
“Did you want to ask me anything else?”
“No, that was all.”
Vi reached up, her fingers drifting across Caitlyn’s temple, smoothing the hair behind her ear. “You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Vi’s energy felt hungry the moment she stepped through the door, her gaze determined, her mouth set. Caitlyn didn’t even have a chance to say hello before Vi was kissing her, lifting her from the floor by the backs of her thighs. Caitlyn didn’t hesitate a moment, wrapping her legs around Vi’s waist and kissing her back, pulling her own shirt off over her head as Vi walked her to the bed and laid her down. They made short work of their clothes, both stripping down to their underwear as quickly as possible, rejoining their mouths in furious kisses as soon as one article of clothing or another had been discarded.
Cait ran her hands down Vi’s back and up again, taking her tongue into her mouth as she followed the flex and shift of her powerful muscles. She traced along where she knew the tattoos lay on the back of her arms, over her shoulders, up her neck, into her shorn hairline and then further into her long crop of pink hair. Vi shivered, as she always did when Caitlyn touched her hair like this, and Caitlyn couldn’t help but smile a little. She gripped a fistful of the hair, reveling in the way Vi broke away from the kiss, gasping as her lips dragged down Caitlyn’s cheek.
“Fuck, I missed you,” she said raggedly.
“You saw me this morning, darling,” Caitlyn said against her ear.
“Still.”
Any response Caitlyn might have come up with died on her tongue as Vi pressed her knee up between her thighs and against her core. A rush of heat flooded through her and she gasped, her hips lifting toward the friction of their own accord. Vi kissed her again, deeply, hungrily, matching the movements of Caitlyn’s hips with her own. Caitlyn moaned into her mouth, fingers still tangled in her hair. She felt herself growing wet with every press of Vi’s strong thigh. Her low belly ached with the thought of Vi touching her, but she pushed the desire away. There was something else more important she needed to do first.
Without breaking the kiss, Caitlyn lifted her thigh until it pressed in between Vi’s legs. Vi made a sound at the contact, something between a gasp and a moan.
“Is this alright?” Caitlyn murmured against her mouth.
Vi didn’t answer right away but she pressed back against Caitlyn’s leg almost helplessly, another quiet sound falling from her lips.
“Yes,” she breathed finally.
Caitlyn rested her hands gently on Vi’s hips, reveling in the slow, rhythmic movement as she ground down against her thigh. Caitlyn kissed her again, and Vi returned the kiss passionately at first, but her lips softened after a moment, her mouth falling open a little as the pace of her hips increased. Caitlyn palmed one of her breasts through her bra, pulling away from the kiss.
“I promise I won’t touch you,” Caitlyn murmured, “but I want to make you come.”
Vi’s expression was already split open, more raw and desperate than Caitlyn had ever seen her, her mouth half cocked as she panted for breath, her brow tense with need.
“Are you sure?” Vi blurted. “Is it...do you want this?”
Caitlyn cupped her cheeks and pulled her face close. “More than anything,” she said against Vi’s lips, and kissed her, pressing her tongue into her mouth, eliciting another moan from her straining throat. She could feel Vi’s dampness against her leg, soaking through the cloth of her underwear. She held the kiss and reached down with one hand again, guiding Vi’s hips in their movement, one thumb slipping beneath her waistband to run along the sharp V of her muscled torso. Vi whimpered at her touch, but didn’t slow her movements, her hips rolling hard, pressing herself to Caitlyn with increasing desperation. The feeling was heady - Caitlyn had never seen Vi so undone before, and she was still keeping it together pretty well, all things considered. Caitlyn wanted to change that.
She dragged her fingers down Vi’s sides, letting her nails bite into the skin just a little. This earned a strangled sound from Vi, accompanied by a soft, mindless, “Fuck me.”
“Doing my best,” Caitlyn murmured teasingly, earning the barest of chuckles from Vi before her expression tightened again as she thrust down hard.
The motion of her body was very similar to when she fucked Caitlyn with her strap-on, and with each downward press of her hips, she made contact between Caitlyn’s thighs. Caitlyn bit down hard on her lower lip, trying to stifle her own sounds, unable to help the way her hips rolled up against Vi. She reached up and palmed Vi’s breasts through her bra again, dragging her hands in small circles, feeling the hardened nub of her nipples beneath the cloth. A rough sound broke out of Vi, low and desperate, and she caught Caitlyn’s mouth in another kiss. The sound morphed into a whimper and Caitlyn opened her lips, coaxing the sound into her own mouth, encouraging Vi’s movements with a hand on her hip. Vi held the kiss valiantly but she broke away at last with a short moan. Her usually rock-steady shoulders trembled and her head dropped, her cheek pressing to Caitlyn’s throat.
“I think…” Vi panted. “I think I’m close.”
Caitlyn’s heart fluttered and she slid her fingers into Vi’s hair again, taking a gentle grip as she pressed a kiss to the shorn side of her head.
“I’ve got you,” she whispered.
Vi ground down in a few more rapid, desperate rolls of her hips, her body tensing so hard Caitlyn could feel the muscles in her neck flexing, and then she broke. A trembling cry dragged itself out of her mouth, reverberating against Caitln’s neck as her body shook, her arms wrapping around Caitlyn’s shoulders, her forehead sliding to press to her collarbones. Her cry dissolved into a series of soft, staccato moans, and Caitlyn felt the grip of her blunted fingernails briefly before the wave passed and Vi collapsed heavily to the side, all of her muscles unwinding at once. Their legs were still tangled together, and Caitlyn rolled to give her space to extract herself. But Vi didn’t take it. Her arms were limp but she kept them draped over Caitlyn’s shoulders, one of her palms against the back of her neck, and her face stayed tucked against her chest as her breathing steadied and slowed. Caitlyn didn’t move, didn’t speak, tracing careful patterns down Vi’s spine and then up again, giving her the silence she seemed to need.
Several minutes passed and Caitlyn thought for a moment that perhaps Vi had fallen asleep. But then Vi shifted, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. Caitlyn stroked her hair softly.
“Was that alright?” she murmured.
“Yes,” Vi said with a nod that felt more like a nuzzle against Caitlyn’s chest.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Caitlyn only knew a few things with absolute certainty, and one of those things was that she would never, ever tire of witnessing Vi’s orgasms. She still hadn’t touched her in the weeks since the first time, and she hadn’t asked to, but Vi had slowly but surely begun to initiate her own orgasm each time they had sex. Sometimes it was the rigorous grinding like before, with Vi bringing herself to climax against Caitlyn’s thigh, but she’d begun branching out more. Once, she came from touching herself while she was in the middle of going down on Caitlyn. That was a unique experience - one moment Caitlyn was completely blissed out from the sensation of Vi’s mouth against her, and the next Vi was buckling and whining against the inside of her thighs. She’d returned to the task at hand with even more vigor than before, and Caitlyn had followed with her own orgasm not long after. Another time, after Vi had fucked Caitlyn boneless with the strap, she lay back and asked with remarkable shyness that Caitlyn kiss her while she touched herself. Caitlyn had been more than happy to oblige, and she’d held Vi closely when the orgasm came, leaving her limp and panting in her arms.
Tonight, Vi kissed Caitlyn’s shoulder blades, withdrawing from inside her carefully as the last of her orgasm fled along her limbs and left her catching her breath. Vi snuggled up behind her, spooning her beneath the covers, one arm wrapped around her chest. Caitlyn closed her eyes and relaxed back into Vi’s embrace, pressing her lips to the soft skin of her forearm. She felt Vi nose a little into her hair, inhaling slowly.
“Hey, cupcake?” she murmured, her voice soft and a little tentative.
“Yes?”
“I’m not ready now, but I think…” Vi paused. Her arm tightened around Caitlyn and she kissed her shoulder. Caitlyn squeezed her wrist encouragingly. “I think I...would like to try having you touch me soon. If you’d want that.”
An eruption of butterflies let loose in Caitlyn’s stomach, and she fought to control her reaction - she didn’t want to be overzealous and scare Vi off from the idea. Her instinct was to roll over and kiss her, but instead she lifted her palm to her mouth and pressed a long, soft kiss there. Then she put it against her cheek, kissing the soft inside of her wrist.
“If that’s something you want, I want it too.”
“Okay,” Vi whispered against her shoulder.
“No rush. No pressure at all, alright? Just whenever you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
Caitlyn was prepared to wait for as long as it took - months, years, even - but it was scarcely a week later when they were tangled up in bed together, half dressed and panting, when Vi put her mouth close to Caitlyn’s ear and said, “I think I’m ready.”
Caitlyn pulled back, cupping her cheek, pressing the hair from her face to look her full in the eyes. “Are you sure?”
Vi nodded and kissed her. Caitlyn felt the tremble of her breath and nerves suddenly erupted in her stomach as she realized the implications. They’d done this a hundred times before, but never like this. She’d never touched anyone before now, and the reality of that hit her all at once. She vowed that above all else, she’d make sure Vi felt taken care of. Nothing else mattered more.
She laid Vi back carefully against the pillows, straddling her body as they continued to kiss. Vi’s calloused hands ran down her sides, coming to a stop at her hips. The warmth of her touch bolstered Caitlyn’s courage. She could do this. She lowered herself until she was lying on her right side, partially on top of Vi, partially on the mattress, trying to take her cues from the way Vi laid over her when the roles were reversed. Her fingers trailed down Vi’s chest to her stomach, then to her hips and the top of her underwear band.
“Do you want these off?” she murmured against Vi’s lips.
Vi shook her head. “On for now. If that’s okay.”
Caitlyn put her knuckle under Vi’s chin, lifting until their gazes met. “You are my priority, Vi, do you understand? If something is going to make you feel good, or make sure you’re comfortable, it’s always okay. Alright?”
Vi nodded and Caitlyn realized how much her breathing had sped up, her breaths coming short and quick.
“We can stop at any point. You just say the word. You’re in control here,” Caitlyn said.
“Okay,” Vi said.
Caitlyn leaned in again, joining their mouths in a long, deep kiss. Vi relaxed a little beneath her, yielding to the kiss, her mouth soft and open. Without breaking the kiss, Caitlyn reached down Vi’s body, slipping her hand beneath the hem of her underwear. Her hair was bristly and a little rough and Caitlyn’s stomach tightened. She felt herself grow a little wetter. She moved her fingers down further, sliding in between the folds. A small gasp escaped her lips involuntarily.
“What, what’s wrong?” Vi asked worriedly.
“Nothing,” Caitlyn said. “You’re just...you’re very wet.”
“I’m-”
Vi didn’t get any further in finishing that thought because at that moment, Caitlyn parted her lips and slid her fingers up the slick, hot length of her cunt, and her eyes rolled back and a short, hard sound left her throat.
“Good?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi bit her lips and shut her eyes and nodded quickly.
Caitlyn’s heart was pounding so hard she worried that Vi would feel it through her chest and think something was wrong with her. She had imagined doing this many, many times before, but none of her imaginings had come even close to what it actually felt like to be touching Vi now. She repeated her movement from before, starting low and sliding high, and Vi made another desperate sound, this one closer to a gasp. Caitlyn moved her fingers experimentally in a circular motion near where she guessed the clit would be, and was rewarded with Vi uttering a low and vehement, “ Fuck. ”
She touched her carefully, keeping her movements slow and steady, earning a consistent stream of quiet moans from Vi. She watched Vi’s face, alert for any signs that she was uncomfortable or in pain. Her brows were flexed, her eyes closed, her mouth slightly open and her upper lip lifting on one side in an expression that was nearly a snarl but that seemed to be an expression of pleasure instead. Caitlyn lowered her head, pressing open mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck, keeping her motions between Vi’s legs steady. Vi reached up to twine her fingers through Caitlyn’s hair, lifting her face to kiss her again. The kiss was deep and a little desperate, punctuated by the small sounds Vi made in response to Caitlyn’s touch. When Vi broke the kiss, she held Caitlyn close, keeping their foreheads pressed together. Caitlyn opened her eyes to find Vi watching her, those smoky blue eyes clenched a little at the corners, her brows pressed up in the middle. Caitlyn pulled back, taking in Vi’s facial expression fully. She realized with a start that Vi looked...what was it? Afraid? Worried?
“You want me to stop,” she said, beginning to pull her hand away, but Vi caught her wrist, keeping her in place.
“No, please,” she whispered. “Please don’t. Please keep going.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Caitlyn obliged her, resuming her rhythm from before, feeling Vi’s hips lift hungrily against her touch, but she kept her eyes trained on Vi’s face. Vi met her gaze, one hand in Caitlyn’s hair, the other braced against her shoulder as though to steady herself. There was that look again, clear and open and deep and… Something clicked in the back of Caitlyn’s head. She had seen this expression a few times before, only ever in fleeting moments, but it hadn’t stayed long enough for her to name it. She could name it now. Vulnerability. Vi was looking at her with an expression of total trust, and all the resulting emotional nakedness that came with it. Caitlyn’s heart clenched. She knew what Vi had been through, all the pain she’d seen from such a young age, all the betrayal she’d faced. And here she was, opening herself to Caitlyn, leaving herself completely defenseless in every sense. Caitlyn kissed her, and it was a knowing kiss, a silent promise to honor the gift Vi was giving.
I’ll keep you safe, the kiss said.
Vi broke the kiss after a moment, her breaths coming more quickly now. Her hips rolled up against Caitlyn’s fingers in a steady rhythm and her fingers tightened on Caitlyn’s shoulder.
“That feels...so good,” she panted, her breath hot on Caitlyn’s cheek. “You...feel so good.”
Caitlyn pressed their foreheads together again, feeling breathless and overwhelmed with her heart in her throat and her love in her arms. She could feel the tension in Vi’s body growing, her staccato moans coming more rapidly. Her eyes had closed and her lips were parted and her brows were flexed in an expression of desperation. Her hand moved from Caitlyn’s shoulder to the back of her neck, holding her close. As if Caitlyn would have gone anywhere, as if she wanted to be anywhere else but right here, her body intertwined with Vi’s, her hand eliciting these sounds and movements from her, as if there were anything in the world that could move her from this place, this moment.
Vi kept leaning up and kissing her hotly, furiously, only to break away a moment later with another moan. Caitlyn stayed close, working her fingers with a steady rhythm, letting their mouths and noses brush when Vi was too preoccupied to kiss, drinking in the sounds and breaths spilling from her lips. She thought, after the fact, that she felt Vi’s orgasm coming before Vi did. She felt the sudden minute arch in her low back, the withdrawing of the hips. Vi’s eyes snapped open and she looked into Caitlyn’s face with a wide, shocked expression.
“Caitlyn,” she breathed.
Then her eyes rolled up and closed and she made a sound as she buried her face in Caitlyn’s neck. Her body spasmed, her back arching harder now, her body lifting from the bed as she pressed herself up against Caitlyn, one hand gripping the back of her neck, the other arm holding tightly around her waist. Her cry of pleasure came from between her teeth in hard waves, the rise and fall of the sound seeming to follow the crescendo of her orgasm. Caitlyn kept her fingers moving until Vi grabbed her wrist. She didn’t pull her hand away, but pressed down, stilling her fingers but maintaining the pressure as her hips lifted in urgent thrusts. Her cry faded to a low whine and her shaking muscles faded to trembling and then she relaxed all at once, falling back against the pillow, her chest heaving, her eyes still closed.
Caitlyn withdrew her hand carefully from her underwear and made as though to shift back a little, but Vi laid a hand on her thigh, silently asking her to stay close. She did, nestling in against Vi’s side, resting a palm on her chest, nosing against her shoulder as she listened to her breaths steady and slow.
“I liked that,” Vi said finally.
Under ordinary circumstances, Caitlyn would have teased her, would have said something like “Oh, is that all?” But now wasn’t the time.
“I liked it, too,” she said simply. “Thank you for letting me.”
Vi breathed out a chuckle. “I think I’m the one who should be thanking you.”
“It was my pleasure, of course, but what I meant is that I know this was a big step for you, and I feel very honored that you trusted me enough to let me do that for you. Do you know what I mean?”
In response, Vi rolled over and took Caitlyn’s face in her hands. She looked thoroughly worn out and completely happy at the same time. She smiled, her eyes lovingly surveying Caitlyn’s expression.
“Trust me, cupcake, I know what you mean,” she said, and kissed her.