Chapter Text
Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease that blooms from unrequited love. When the love of oneself is unrequited the victim begins to cough up flower petals as flowers, often colored to symbolise the target of their love, begin to grow in their chest. The disease can only be cured by the love being requited otherwise the victim will die. The only other way to survive this disease is to get surgery to remove the growing flower, but with the loss of the flowers comes the loss of any emotion towards the victims target of love.
Vestan walked home after a long day of video games, movies, and an unreasonable amount of junk food. Their apartment wasn’t too far from Dai and Artem’s house so the walk wasn’t bad. It was a quiet night and the air was still. Vestan had been offered the spare room but refused.
Dai and Artem did a good job at keeping Vestan from feeling like a third wheel- always including them in the conversations and avoiding too much PDA around them- but that didn’t stop them from catching the small intimate moments between the two.
The occasional whispered word or soft touch when they thought Vestan wasn’t paying attention; or when they themselves weren’t paying attention to their actions. Those moments are what pulls Vestan out of their temporary haven of forgetting the relationship between Dai and Artem. Forgetting and feeling like they were on equal levels with the couple.
It was painful to be around both of them but Vestan couldn’t stay away. Dai and Artem always pulled them in, a simple message or phone call asking to hang out and they were there, like a dog returning a stick to its master. Being around them made Vestan feel like they were being burned from the inside out, like a fire was somehow trapped in their chest. Though no matter how much it burned and it hurt they couldn’t stay away. Maybe they're a masochist or maybe the love and joy they felt around Dai and Artem simply overpowered the charring of their heart.
They wished they were simply a masochist.
If they were a masochist maybe they wouldn’t be in this predicament. Maybe they would actually enjoy the burning of their heart and they would fall in love with the pain rather than with them. If they were in love with the pain maybe it would make everything so much simpler; maybe the pain would love them back. Vestan shakes their head with a sigh as they turn the corner, they were being dramatic, they knew, but it felt justified considering the situation they had gotten themselves into.
It really was Vestan’s own fault that they were stuck with the fire in their chest. They are the one who couldn’t say no to being around their friends; they are the one who continuously pushed themselves into the comfort of their company. When did comfort turn into this burning? They are sure their mind had tried to send them warning signs, but Vestan was not really one to listen to their brain. Their tendency to go blind by passion and pleasure was probably their fatal flaw- like Archillie’s pride or Pandora’s curiosity. If their heart wanted something it would consume them until they either got what they wanted or they burned up. They were led by their heart and passion and, if left to burn and grow, it was enough to scorch them from the inside out.
Maybe they were self-destructive but can you blame them for who they love?
Dai and Artem were their Sun and moon; their day and night; Vestan’s everything. The two were their best friends and Vestan has always had a love for the couple but they wonder when that friendly love turned into adoration and desire.
To Vestan, Dai was their sun.
He was strong and bright. Dai’s energy made them feel energized and full of life and love. Dai pushed Vestan to be their best self and helped them figure out who they really were. That's why they love Dai- he is steady, and whole, and so caring and loving to all around him. Never putting others down but rather building them up- offering encouragement and kind smiles. Some of Vestan’s favorite moments are when they see Dai encouraging and supporting others. He’s honest and kind- always looking at the strength and talents of those around him and encouraging them to be the best he believes they can be. He does it so simply too- almost as if it was easy to make someone feel double the worth they think of themselves as. Maybe it was easy for Dai, maybe that's why Vestan fell for him, for his easygoing nature and bright shining soul.
Because around Dai, they felt full.
To Vestan, Artem was their moon.
She was calm and collected. Artem’s energy made them feel content and full of peace and love. Artem pushed Vestan to take time for self-care and never be afraid to ask for help. That's why they love Artem- she is nurturing, wise, and always there to offer a hand. Never pushing or overstepping boundaries but always making it clear that she was simply a step away. That if you needed her she was there. Now don't misunderstand- Artem was not at the beck and call of anybody- but she was never afraid to step forward and help out if needed. She wanted to help, she wanted to be there, and she always made sure you were aware of her presence and offered comfort and support. It seemed like second nature for Artem to offer a helping hand- she made it seem like it was easy to help people look at things in perspective and overcome their anxiety and worries. Maybe it was easy for Artem, maybe that's why Vestan fell for her, for her peaceful nature and soft glowing soul.
Because around Artem, they felt at peace.
Dai and Artem were perfect for one another, at least in Vestan’s eyes. Like they said, “the sun and the moon,” a perfect balance. So perfect that it seemed as if they were made for each other. They were two perfectly connecting puzzle pieces and Vestan was like an extra piece left sitting in the box. They wished that they were the missing piece- the one that everyone searches for and desperately wishes to find- but there was no reason for Dai and Artem to need that missing piece. They were already a perfect puzzle, and Vestan… well they were just sitting in the box.
Vestan wanted to find their own perfect match but their heart screamed at them, claiming that they already had- that Dai and Artem were meant to be theirs. They felt guilty and greedy. They had no right to come between Dai and Artem and claim that they deserved to be with the two, but that’s all their heart desired. They wanted to move on but to do that they needed to get rejected, as that’s the only way they’d be able to get their heart to understand, and to get rejected they would have to confess.
Yeah no, Vestan wasn’t about to do that. If they knew they could confess without totally screwing up the friendship they had with the two they would- seriously- they’d tell the couple how they felt and make it clear that they understand that the two weren’t interested in them. Vestan would give themself a few weeks to fully move on and then BAM they would be back to their friendship. But that’s not how it would go- if they confessed there is no way for them to know how Dai and Artem would react. And that scares them.
Vestan didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had with Dai and Artem; they couldn’t fathom losing the two. Losing them would be so much more painful than the burning in their heart. Vestan would rather die than lose Dai and Artem.
Well, that’s what they always thought- they didn’t think they’d actually have to test that mindset.
Vestan pushed open the door to their house, flicking the lights on with a hum of appreciation. Their home wasn’t fancy and it wasn’t too big but it was home. As they slipped off their shoes their cat came up to wind its way around his ankles.
“Hi Jelly,” they say with a soft voice reaching down to scratch behind the cat’s ears. “I didn’t mean to be out so late, let me go fill up your bowl.”
Vestan walks through the house trailing their fingers along the marble counter as they walk through the kitchen. They fill up the food bowl and watch with a soft smile on their face. As much as it hurt to be around Dai and Artem they always felt good after a day with them. It was like a sugar rush, love and warmhearted emotion were built up slowly, rising until they came to a peak, and then down they went falling into a crash of realization and burning.
Vestan stared at nothing for a few minutes, their mind swirling as they thought about basically nothing, as they spaced out a pressure built in their chest and they found themself coughing. It was a stinging cough, the kind that would leave a pain in the back of your throat for days and stole the breath from your lungs.
Forcing themself to calm down Vestan did their best to calm down the coughing, but failed to stop it. After many long moments Vestan felt the pressure in their chest lessen as they finally got out whatever caused the coughing fit. Looking down at their hand Vestan sees two small damaged petals.
One light blue, one bright orange.
Vestan finds themself cursing, they knew what this meant, anyone knew what this meant. They felt a swirling in their stomach and a dizzy cloud ran through their mind as they fell to their knees. They felt sick to their stomach and their chest constricted once again, but this time from a rising panic running through their body. They did their best to breathe deeply, doing their best to ignore the stinging in their throat.
So... they had a few choices. Die, confesse, or get the surgery. None of them were appealing choices.
Vestan realized tears were flowing down their face as they kneeled in the middle of their kitchen.
Why? Why now? Why them?
This disease was rare, only happening to only one out of every five thousand people experiencing unrequited love and of course Vestan was the lucky number one. Vestan was beginning to regret their thoughts, Vestan would rather die than lose Dai and Artem, that's such bullshit, the universe must be laughing at them right now.
What the hell are they supposed to do now?
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Name Symbolism:
Vestan- a sacred eternal flame from ancient rome
Dai- Meaning large, sun, to shine
Artem- derived from the goddess Artemis, god of the moon and health