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It had been a few days since Kody and Lumine’s argument about joining the weredog fighting arena. They hadn’t really spoken about it since then, partly because Kody was still mad at him, but also because Kody had gone right back to avoiding everyone and holing up in their bedroom.
Lumine wanted to help Kody, he knew this had something to do with Aiden and Sherry and just… everything they’ve been through. The thing is, he wasn’t sure how to approach this. The last time he tried to help him, they found themselves at a bloody fighting arena and ended up in a lot of trouble with Sera, so the odds weren’t really in his favour. You’d be a fool to think that’d stop Lumine though.
It was around 8:45 when the wolf woke up. He glanced to his right to see his friend still sleeping soundly. Kody usually slept in late though, so it’s best not to disturb him.
Lumine stretched his arms above his head as he sauntered into the living room. He saw Sera frantically running around the room, “Ah shit, where’s my key- oh hey Lumine!” she said. “Morning Sera,” Lumine greeted her. Sera responded, “Sorry I can’t talk much, I’m-” “Late? Yeah, that’s fine,” Lumine assured her with a smile. “Bye!”
The white-haired boy was all alone now, left to his own devices. As much as he hated having no one around to talk to, he didn’t want to bother Kody, at least not yet.
After finishing his breakfast Lumine wandered around the apartment, looking for something to do. He browsed the squarish room and its plain white walls, accented with various green plants. One, in particular, caught his eye. This plant wasn’t there when he and Kody first arrived, so he went to take a closer look. It sat by the window, perched to the right of a potted cactus. Its stalk was thin and flimsy, hanging low, its leaves having an odd, bulb-like shape. “I wonder if her plants have names,” Lumine thought briefly as he laced his fingers with one of the stems.
His papa had a few plants too, one of which he hid behind when he first arrived at Noel’s home. It was tall with broad, rubbery leaves. Anna liked to call the plant Fera. Lumine wasn’t sure of the lifespan of Fera’s species but hopefully, it’s still doing well. He hasn’t seen that plant since…
Lumine didn’t dwell on that line of thought for too long, quickly taking notice of the book resting on the coffee table behind him. He was reading it yesterday but forgot to finish it when Sera brought home ice cream. There were no sugary treats to distract him now though, so he might as well finish reading.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been reading when Lumine heard his stomach growl. He checked the computer to see what time it was and realised- it was 3 pm? Already? He was shocked- not because of how long he’d been reading, if Lumine didn’t have to take a break every once in a while he could read a good book for the entire day. He was surprised because Kody still hadn’t come out of their room. Usually, he’d at least be awake by midday, so this was a bit worrying.
Lumine approached the door, posturing to knock, his knuckles mere inches away from the wood. But instead of making contact, his fist stood frozen in place. It didn’t make any sense, “Why am I hesitating?” he thought, “This is to help my friend, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Sure, they’ll probably have to talk about a traumatic experience they both went through but this is about how Kody feels about it, not him. There’s no reason to confront his own inner turmoil regarding this situation, this isn’t about himself.
Lumine gently knocked as he called out, “Kody? Are you awake yet?”
No response.
He called again, “Kody? Are you in there?”
Still nothing.
“Uhm, okay, I’m coming in now,” Lumine said as he turned the doorknob and peeked his head in. “Wait, don’t come in!” pleaded a voice, seemingly a ghost lurking in the shadows. “Kody? You’re awake?” Lumine asked as he closed the door behind him. There was no answer, as the witch just sat there with his face buried in his knees. It was dark, and it took a while for Lumine’s eyes to adjust but he eventually found Kody and sat next to him.
“Are you… okay?” asked Lumine. Kody raised his head to glare at the young wolf. “Don’t ask me questions you already know the answer to,” he spat, causing the white-haired boy to recoil some.
“Do you... want to talk about it, then?” Lumine asked cautiously. Kody just groaned in response, his glare growing more intense. Lumine could’ve sworn his green-eyed friend was trying to bore holes through his skull with a stare like that. “Ok… should I just stay here, then?” asked Lumine, expecting a hard no. Instead, he earned an eye roll and a quiet mumble, something along the lines of “Do whatever you want.”
This phrase presented Lumine with an opportunity, he could leave Kody alone, or he could stay and try to help him feel better. He obviously went with the latter, proceeding to mentally sift through methods of soothing his friend. Suddenly, he had an idea. He transformed into his wolf form then rested his head in Kody’s lap. The poor witch had to restrain himself from jumping at the sudden contact. “Uhm… what are you doing?” Kody asked, with his hands up in the air. “Whatever I want,” he answered coyly. Kody sighed and awkwardly rested his hands on the wolf. As much as he wanted to put up a facade of feeling disturbed, before long, Kody found himself stroking his friend’s fur. It was long and soft- comforting, even. Like a warm, fluffy blanket on a winter afternoon. It reminded him of home, feeling safe while hiding in the attic and reading with his stuffed wolves. He hadn’t felt that kind of safety in a long while, it was… nice. He reflected on some more fond memories, like sleeping in his own bedroom for as long as he wants, regardless of the chastising he got from Lumine or his dad’s coworkers about avoiding school. He remembered some special people from his home, like Sliver, and Sherry, and his dad…
Kody was latching on to Lumine now, holding him close with his face buried in his fur in some futile attempt to hide his tears. He sniffled and hiccuped quietly as his grip on the wolf tightened. He feared that if he were to let go, his friend would dissolve into nothingness and he’d be all alone again. His firm grip made Lumine’s skin sting, but there was no protest. The wolf just lay there, in silence. Like a quiet audience, acknowledging that this is his moment to cry, scream, whatever, and he’s not going to take that away unless Kody wants him to.
The witch’s soft sobs soon grew into pained wails, drowning the room with the deafening sound of pure agony. For a split second, Kody feared they might get noise complaints from the others in the apartment, but those worries were quickly washed away, overcome with the immense sorrow he felt.
He cried and cried without a care of who sees or how long it is. In his mind, it was just him and Lumine, frozen in time, nothing else, and he was okay with that. He’s felt this despair for so long but had no tears to prove it, until now. He needed this moment more than anything.
After a while Kody sat up, rubbing the tears from his eyes. He felt drained, as if everything was ripped out of him, leaving a hollow shell of a person. His cries left his throat sore and scratchy, and as much as it felt nice to have everything out of his system, it still left him exhausted. “Sorry,” he said with a dry chuckle, trying to hide the pain in his aching, raspy voice. Lumine sat up too, facing Kody. He didn’t prompt him to say anything, he just patiently waited until he was ready, even if he had to wait an eternity.
Luckily for Lumine, he didn’t have to wait that long, as Kody began to whisper, “It’s just that, everything is so scary- we’re all on our own now, and dad is…” There was a pause- neither of them was sure of what to say. “I- I’m sure Aiden is fine, he’s strong, right?” Lumine said in an attempt at consolation. “Stop lying, Lumine! He’s dead and we both know it!” Kody snapped. “And you’ve already accepted it, you get to walk around and talk to people with a smile and everything is just… okay! And I just don’t understand- why can’t I be okay too? Why do I have to keep being sad and mope around like this i- it’s not fair,” said Kody as he rambled, all the words just spilling out.
The witch continued, “And now you have this crazy idea of going to a fighting arena? Am I gonna lose you too?” Yikes, that one struck a nerve, it never dawned on Lumine how much this would affect Kody. The poor witch had already lost so much, maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. “Maybe I’m overreacting? I… I feel like I should be better now… Is something wrong with me?”
This confession caught Lumine by surprise. He wasn’t used to this much vulnerability from Kody. Even worse, he couldn’t believe that Kody felt this way and he wasn’t doing anything about it until now. Sure, better late than never, but Lumine still felt awful because of it.
The wolf returned to his human form and sat next to Kody, scooching towards him so their shoulders were touching. “I don’t think anything is wrong with you, Aiden was your dad and… you were much closer to him than I was so it makes sense to take longer, it’s okay to not be okay, y’know?” he spoke. He could tell by the look on the witch’s tear-stained face that his words weren’t of any solace. Lumine sucked in a long breath before continuing, “To be honest, I’m not really okay either… I know I seem fine but- I think I’m just used to pretending everything is okay? ...I kind of have to, because like- before I met you guys, going from job to job, that’s just how it is I guess? I wouldn’t want my boss to get mad at me or anything and I- I don’t like to worry people…”
Kody looked at Lumine in anticipation, waiting for him to say more. It was a bit comforting for the witch to know that he wasn’t the only one struggling with, well, everything. “But it’s exhausting to pretend all the time… like I was just thrown into this world by myself when papa made me leave Terranevo… and then Aiden took me in and I thought I finally had a home,” Lumine’s hands were squeezed into fists, his nails pressing crescent moon marks into his palms. He could feel his whole body shaking, tears welling up and a lump forming in his throat. He tried to regulate his breathing to try to stop himself from breaking down, but his breaths were shaky and didn’t help much.
“But then... that home was ripped away from me too… I try not to think about it or I try to pretend that everything actually turned out okay and that we’ll be able to go back home soon. I guess it’s just easier that way? To ignore it? But I don’t think it’s helping me…”
The wolf squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the tears. This was Kody’s moment to be upset, not his. He’s supposed to be helping Kody, not the other way around…
Without warning, Kody launched himself into Lumine, pulling him into a hug. For a second, Lumine felt frozen in place, he wasn't sure what to do. It took him a while to realise that Kody hugged him. But he quickly played off his hesitation, proceeding to wrap his arms around Kody’s waist, pulling him closer.
“It’s okay to not be okay,” the witch whispered. “Hey! That’s plagiarism,” the wolf lightly chided. “Pssh, yeah right, like you’re the first one ever to say that,” he shot back. The two shared a quiet laugh, though it faded soon after, leaving them in each other’s arms. Kody was in his friend’s lap, resting his head on his shoulder. The soft breaths of the witch felt a bit ticklish on Lumine’s neck, but he didn’t mind. The wolf whispered, “Are you okay?” just to seal off their conversation, adding a proper conclusion to their dialogue. “Not yet, but… I feel better than before,” the green-eyed boy responded, and felt the corners of his lips tug into a smile, just for a second. “Could you just… promise me you won’t go to the arena? Please?” Lumine was a tad hesitant, but he responded, “I promise.”
They sat in a comfortable silence, with anything that needed to be said already said, or waiting to be said another time. Right now, all they needed was to relax and enjoy each other's company.
Until they heard a loud growl.
Kody burst into a fit of laughter, “Lumine? Was that you?”
“Sorry, I guess I should go eat something,” he replied with a giggle.