Work Text:
I
This was the day that Draco Malfoy was going to remember to the end of his life. Enormous pain, impossible to describe in words. Gritting his teeth, biting inner parts of his cheeks and tongue, everything to transfer pain somewhere else. Everything to not scream. Draco was trying to keep his grey irises cold as always, but he knew he hadn't succeeded. He saw it in the red eyes he was looking in. He knew he had shown his weakness. Pain is a weakness. If pain is his only feeling in the moment, when he's defining his whole future life, then he's a coward. Black lines appeared slowly on his left forearm. He wasn't looking, but he knew it. His confidence disappeared. He gulped. The Dark Mark on his body was finished. Decision was made. And there was no retreat.
Will you hold the line?
II
After ceremony only Malfoy family and The Dark Lord stayed in the chamber.
"My Lord, we..." said Lucius, but Voldemort silenced him with hand gesture.
"I want to talk to Draco, Lucius"
"Of course, my Lord"
"Now you and Narcissa should leave the chamber" cold voice resonated between walls, sending chills down Draco's spine.
When every one of them has given up and given in? Tell me
III
Malfoys left the chamber obediently, leaving their son alone with Dark Lord. Draco gulped. He knew.
"Draco" said Lord "today you got a great honour. How are you feeling?"
"I..." Malfoy hesitated. He can choose from two options: admit his pain and be punished or lie, start a game in which Lord will treat him like he didn't notice anything and Draco will at all costs try to prove that he's not a coward. "I feel wonderful, my Lord. I was waiting for this moment. Now I can fully serve you and your cause"
"Our cause, my boy"
"Surely. My mistake"
"Service can be difficult. Sometimes you have to give up many things, to do it right, break your own heart and soul."
"It's our duty, as a wizards, to serve blood purity."
"I'm glad, that you understand this, Draco" said Voldemort "because I have a special task for you." After saying this, wizard looked deeply into Malfoy's eyes and disapparate in the pall of black haze.
Consequences - one word, that Malfoy have read from his eyes.
In this house of mine...
Nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost, tell me
IV
When he looked at the window, Draco discovered, not without surprise, that it's dark outside. Navy blue sky with tiny dots of stars reminded him of sateen sheets with silver glitter besprent on the surface by naughty child. He rested his arms on the windowsill in a way, that let him see his Dark Mark on the left forearm. He was staring at firmament outside the window, like it was something that his life depends on. He felt... He felt wronged. Lucius Malfoy was a loser, who got caught, but it's Draco, who's punished for this mistake and punishment doesn't seem to have an ending. He will roll a boulder up a hill, like Sisyphus. The difference was - mythological king was rolling a boulder made from his own guilts. Slytherin will do penance for someone else's. His hands closed on the edge of windowsill, he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the stars in the sky seemed brighter than before.
Will the stars align?
V
Platforms 9 and 10 on the muggle King's Cross station were extremely crowded, as usually 1st of September. In the crowd were a lot of teenagers with old-fashioned suitcases and cages, in which slept strange animals like owls or toads. Some of them were older and confident, ran directly at the barrier and disappeared. Some were with their parents. Some were younger and didn’t know what to do. They were looking around, trying to find help. They were not sure if they should run too, if they would disappear, if they would come up somewhere or if they would get hurt. Draco stood, leaned against the wall, next to his black suitcase. He was waiting for Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson, so they could go to the right platform together. Lucius and Narcissa stayed at home. He was almost an adult and didn't need his parents as bodyguards. He saw a little blond girl nervously looking around. Behind her stood a woman looking like her older copy, probably mother or sister, her hand was on the girl's shoulder. He concluded that she’s a muggle. A good wizard should come up to them and offer help. But he wasn’t good. He was a Death Eater. His left forearm still hurts sometimes, even if his Dark Mark was scorched on his skin a long time ago and Lord wasn’t summoning anyone. Next moment he saw Hermione Granger coming up to the little girl.
Will heaven step in? Will it save us from our sin? Will it?
VI
“Pathetic” Draco heard Blaise’s voice by his ear.
“I see Granger found fellows from her sort” this voice belonged to Pansy.
“So you’re saying that she started talking to the mud on the bottom of the lake?” asked Zabini.
“It’s not worth wasting our time. Let’s go to the train” said Malfoy.
‘Cause this house of mine stands strong
VII
She was feeling on herself this look of disdain, when she came up to the little blonde girl at the King’s Cross Station. She was treated this way for 5 years, she learned that she can’t show how hurtful it is. But it didn’t change the fact that it is. She couldn’t stand the fact that someone thinks they’re better, because their parents probably had an arranged marriage.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” she asked the woman standing next to the girl.
“Oh, thank you so much, but I don’t think so” the woman sounded embarrassed. “I just… um… forgot from which platform my sister has her train to school.”
“Maybe Nine and Three-Quarters?” Hermione suggested. Woman gave her a surprised look. “It’s okay, I’m a witch too and I’m going to Hogwarts. If you need help…”
“I don’t know how to get on the platform” said younger sister.
“Lizzie!”
“Don’t worry. Many of first years from muggle families don’t know it. We can go together if you want” Granger proposed.
“If this wouldn’t be a problem for you...”
“My name’s Hermione” Gryffindor gave older sister a handshake.
“Margareth. I’m really grateful for your help”
“It’s nothing, really. But I’m afraid that you have to say your goodbyes here, muggles can’t go to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.”
“Maggie, I don’t wanna go without you!” said Lizzie. Her sister crouched.
“It’s okay Lizzie. You’re just going to school, you are a big girl, you can do it without me. Promise me you will be civil and get good grades, okay?”
Hermione stepped back a little, because she didn’t want to eavesdrop. For a moment she catched eye contact with Draco Malfoy, but he broke it. After a few minutes she was holding Lizzie’s hand and preparing to go to the wizarding platform. Before disappearing, she heard Blaise Zabini’s and Pansy Parkinson’s laugh.
That’s the price you pay
VIII
Compartments in Hogwarts Express were not very big, but cosy, with soft red seats, what Slytherins always complained about. Younger wizards thought that way to Hogwarts was never-ending, older stopped noticing it. On his way for beginning of his sixth year, Draco didn’t notice it at all. He felt like this journey lasted only a couple of minutes and thinking about Dark Mark made him see spots. He didn’t get caught up in a conversation despite Pansy’s and Blaise’s attempts. In the meantime Theodore Nott showed up in their compartment to talk about try-outs to the Quidditch team, Daphne and Astoria Greengrass came to invite them to the welcome party, but when Crabbe and Goyle showed up, Draco kicked them out. What a relief it was, when the train finally arrived. This time he didn’t wait for his friends, he just took his suitcase and went out. But when someone kicked his luggage at the station in Hogsmeade, he was like a volcano being about to blow.
“What the fuck are you…”
“Fuck off, Malfoy” interrupted him familiar voice.
“Granger, this suitcase is worth more than hundred of mudblood lifes like yours”
“Funny. How many mudblood lifes was worth your Dark Mark?” she asked, squinting her eyes.
He felt like his heart went to his mouth.
Leave behind your heart and cast away
IX
He blinked. His gaze went to his forearm.
She couldn’t see it, she couldn’t hear about it, so how does she know?
He looked up at her, panicking and saw her smile. She smiled victoriously and pityingly at the same time. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She tricked him. And he went with it. He got scared that somebody may know the truth, when he should be proud. His Dark Mark hurt. He’s not a real Death Eater. He’s stupid teenager, who couldn’t face the consequences of his decisions, spoiled kid from the rich family.
Just another product of today
X
“When have you become so well-spoken, Granger?”
“When have you become such a coward, Malfoy?”
“Are you trying to offend me? Do you think that I care about mudbloods opinions?”
“No. Have a nice day, Malfoy.”
And she left him shocked at the station.
Rather be the hunter than the prey
XI
This year Draco didn’t show up at the Welcoming Feast. He didn’t have to. He knew that Severus Snape was the new professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts, this was carefully planned. Albus Dumbledore didn’t realize it, even as so-called the smartest currently alive wizard. The Dark Lord came into his ranks and he didn’t even realize. Yeah. He hasn’t the slightest idea that by the end of this school year he’s gonna die from the hand of his student. This was the task given to Malfoy by Lord. But Draco knew that it wasn’t carefully planned and it wasn’t going to change anything in the way that other Dead Eaters see him. It was a punishment for his father for getting caught. And what can be a greater punishment for the pure-blood, than humiliation in the eyes of his own son and others pure-blood? Sixth-floor boys’ bathroom was empty, as usual. Besides, who could be there, everyone was at the Welcoming Feast. Draco turned on the water, cleansed his face and looked in the mirror. He still was a skinny teenager with light blond hair and grey eyes, nothing changed. But he was feeling like everything changed.
And you’re standing on the edge, face up
XII
“What are you staring at, Granger?” he snapped at her, when they accidentally met going to their Common Rooms.
“Stop behaving like a spoiled kid, Malfoy. Grow up.”
“Listen, mudblood. If you’d talk to me like that one more time, you’d regret this. Do you understand? Now, get the fuck out of here to your stupid tower and don’t get in my way.”
He went to the dungeons and she didn’t even look over him. But she was right, he was a spoiled kid. It was in his blood.
‘Cause you’re a natural
XIII
It’s nothing you should worry about, nothing, nothing
- she’s repeating this sentence in her mind all evening. It’s just Malfoy, stupid noble asshole, who acts like he’s still eleven years old. Was it something to care about? Of course not. She heard this at least one time a day, ten months a year for the last five years, she got used to it. So why today it hurt her that much? Maybe because she has feelings, even if she tries to not show them. The fewer people know, the better.
A beating heart of stone
XIV
“You seem distrait, Draco” said Pansy on their way to get breakfast.
“It’s only in your imagination” he answered with no emotions.
“It’s not! Tell me what happened and I do everything to make you feel better” she raised her eyebrows suggestively.
Malfoy had to put much effort to not spit with contempt. Pansy’s advances started becoming more crude and vulgar and it made him more and more angry. She should respect herself, like a girl from the noble house, not suggest him sex evey time she had an opportunity. He was as obnoxious as he could being classy at the same time, but it wasn’t helping. He was wandering, what was failing in this technique, which always seemed the best. He didn’t have to put much effort in it. In Hogwarts he must pretend that he’s not capable of having higher feelings. The more people know your heart, the more can destroy it.
You gotta be so cold
To make it in this world
XV
Why can't people understand that he needs some alone time? Is it too much? Is it too hard? He doesn’t want people trying to make him feel better, he doesn’t want parties, firewhisky or conversations about Quidditch. He wants to be alone. Is it something strange? He never was a social type, so why suddenly everyone went nuts? Pansy still imposed on him, after he insisted that she should stop. Insisted! He even politely asked her to stop.
Politely asked
. Draco Malfoy. This was unusual. But she didn’t listen, so when she came to his dormitory, supposedly on her way back from the library, he yelled at her. She probably got offended for good, but he didn’t care. Come hell or high water. She could listen.
Yeah, you’re a natural
Living your life cutthroat
XVI
“Granger, did you forget to rake this hay on your head again?” said Blaise Zabini.
“Zabini. Did you forget to change batteries in your toy brain again?” she answered.
“Mudbl-” he didn’t finish, because Malfoy pulled him away, to the corridor on the left.
“Don’t waste our breath on her” advised. “There’s no way she’s going to understand the power of pure-blood.”
But it’s not his words, what hit her the most. It was the tone of his voice. Cold, completely emotionless, like he’s saying empty memorized sentences. Was it true? Was it just in his blood?
You gotta be so cold
Yeah, you’re a natural
XVII
September passed as fast as it came. Night was falling earlier and earlier, evenings were getting colder. Draco already has a plan and has started to bring it to life. The Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement was damaged, but possible to repair. Someone with skilled hands could deal with it quickly, but in Hogwarts Draco couldn’t count on skilled hands. He had only his own, but they weren’t used to work. He was in the Owlery, looking out the window with his arms resting on the windowsill. He came here, because he thought nobody would look for him at this place. What would Draco Malfoy do in the castle’ Owlery? Send letters to his parents? Good joke. He straightened up. Greyness of the evening was covering the world, like a sticky duvet made from cobwebs. What if he wouldn’t wake up next morning? He flinched, when someone opened Owlery’s door.
“What are you doing here, Malfoy?” same irritating, familiar voice. Again.
“What is the purpose of the Owlery, Granger?”
“It’s obvious, but I was asking about something different” she shrugged her shoulders and picked a small owl to use it. “How’s your Dark Mark?” she said and out of the corner of her eye saw that he’s covering left forearm, but straightened up shortly after.
“I don’t have a Dark Mark.”
“You sure?” she turned around and measured him with a look. “Since when Voldemort lets cowards join his ranks?”
“Don’t say his name”
“Or what? He’s gonna show up here and kill me? I’m not scared, Malfoy. I’m not you.”
“And what are you gonna do now? Tell Potter? Go ahead.”
“Harry keeps his eye on you anyway.”
“Great. So you can tell him that he’s right. And wrong at the same time.”
“It’s not possible.”
“And yet it is, Granger. Do you ever ask yourself
what could be Malfoy’s reasons to become a Death Eater?
, or do you just assume that you’re right?”
“Then tell me your reasons.”
“What’s the point? Nothing I could say would change your opinion about me.”
“Can you stop treating me like I’m one person with Harry and Ron? I’m an individual, Malfoy.”
“So, individual Granger, is there anything that could change your opinion about me? Because I hardly doubt it.”
“Try me.”
“How would you be sure that I’m not lying?”
“Why would you lie?”
“To rule myself out from your suspicions.”
“If you would do this, then you wouldn’t talk with me like a normal person. So?”
He turned to her, buttoned down his cuff and rolled up his left sleeve. From under the fabric showed up black lines, featured on his pale forearm. Hermione gasped.
“I could kill you now because of this.” he said.
“But you won’t.”
“I won’t. You can say a lot of bad things about me, but I’m not a murderer.”
“Then why…?”
“It’s not an award, Granger.” he interrupted. “It’s a punishment.”
She looked at him without understanding.
“I don’t get it.”
“It’s a punishment for my father’s failure. He didn’t complete his task, because he got caught. Fucking son of a bitch got caught. They locked him in the Azkaban and Dark Lord wanted to punish him. And what can be a bigger punishment for a wizard from a noble house than humiliation in the eyes of his only heir?” said sneeringly.
Gryffindor reached for his tattoo, but he backed up. She couldn’t touch it. He told her what happened, it’s too much already. For fuck’ sake, he told Granger what happened.
“Nobody deserves to do penance for their parents' mistakes.”
“I do.”
“Nobody.”
Will somebody
Let me see the light within the dark trees shadowing
XVIII
Three months had passed since their encounter in Owlery and the end of the year was closer, but Draco still couldn’t get over it. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand what happened. He was slowly going through work on his task, but he couldn’t forget about that one and only conversation with Granger. He was even more mean to her since then and she always talked back, but she always looked at him like she wanted to say “I’m sorry that you have to be like that”. Like she was the only person, who actually understands what is going on in his mind. Mudblood Granger was the only person in Hogwarts, who knew his secret and she didn’t judge him. She could split on him to Dumbledore or at least to Potter, but she didn’t. He knew it, because if she did, he wouldn’t be here now. He didn’t understand her motivations. Did she want to play the saviour of the wizarding world? That’s Potter’s job. How much Draco would give up to have people supporting him like everyone supported Potter. Would it be his chance to make different decision? And why was he thinking about it? There was no retreat, time can’t be turned back. So why was he constantly hearing Granger’s words and seeing her compassionate eyes in his mind?
What’s happenin?
XIX
Slytherins’ Common Room had magic windows on the walls, so students wouldn’t feel like prisoners. View was the same as from the tower above this part of the dungeons. Hufflepuffs’ Common Room had them as well, but Draco never has been there. When the room behind his back was humming with life, he was trying to isolate himself, staring at the grounds occupied by night outside the window. Countdown to the New Year should start any moment, but he had his own countdown, he was counting his mistakes. He couldn’t understand why mostly bullying Hermione Granger was coming to his mind. Everytime he called her mudblood, every spell casted in her direction, every moment when he made her life harder, all points that Snape gave him after he just repeated her answer. Were those mistakes? And if yes, then did he do anything in his life, that was not a mistake? And if not, then why does he see it in his imagination now?
Looking through the glass find the wrong within the past knowing
XX
And when loud “zero” sounded in the Common Room, he finally understood. Dark Lord will grow old and die one day, same as Albus Dumbledore and all adults engaged with this war. And then they will come, because they are the future.
We are the youth
XXI
Every class that Slytherins had with Gryffindors was giving him anxiety, some weird kind of stabbing pain behind his breastbone. He couldn’t stop thinking about the tone of her voice, when she said that he doesn’t deserve to be punished for his father’s sins. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the sadness in her brown irises, he felt surrounded by her look all the time. He couldn’t stop opening old wounds, thinking about everything he did and still does wrong, when she understood him. The last person, who should understand him. He felt like his brain stopped fulfilling the basic functions and fully committed itself to thinking about Hermione Granger. But it was good. He wanted to suffer, he should be suffering for being himself. He deserved this. He wanted the pain, wanted the penance, but for his own sins.
Cut until it bleeds inside a world without the peace,
XXII
“Bro, what’s going on?” Blaise tapped his back, when they sat down at the Slytherin’s table.
“Can you be more specific?”
“Since the beginning of the school year you are distrait, you often disappear somewhere, I feel like you even avoid chances to laugh at mudbloods. I’m worried about you.”
“Completely unnecessarily. Everything’s fine” said Draco. What else could he say?
Listen Zabini, to be honest nothing’s fine, my father is a loser, I had to become a Death Eater because of this, now I don’t have much time, because I’m working on a task, that Dark Lord gave me, in the meantime I have to kill Dumbledore, and I think I start having feelings for Granger
? Wait, what? No, no, no. Without the last one, that’s ridiculous. He should get more sleep if his brain gave him such an absurd thought. He put some casserole on his plate and looked at Gryffindor’s table. Potter’s big head wasn’t hard to find. Granger was sitting next to him, same as that poor, blood traitor Weasley. Wait, why did Granger look like she was going to explode? It’s not that easy to piss her off, sometimes even he had to try his best, but he probably underestimated those two. He started to chew slower, like the bake got harder. With every swallowed bite he felt more urge to throw up. He couldn’t forget her eyes looking at him with pity. She knew and could use that knowledge whenever she would want, but that wasn’t the thing that hit him the most. She was sorry for him, she believed that it’s not his fault, she said that he didn’t deserve it. He noticed that she threw her hands in the air as the sign of irritation and that Weasley tried to hug her, but she brushed off his arm. He felt like he wouldn’t swallow any more food, like he must to go away this exact moment, or else he would do something stupid. Boys’ bathroom on the sixth-floor was empty as always. He closed the door, but silence didn’t dial him down. He turned on the tap, but the sound of the flowing water quickly started to irritate him.
“Who is disturbing my… Oh, it’s you again” Moaning Myrtle showed up next to Slytherin.
“I’m sorry, Myrtle.”
“I’m not mad. Miserable people are always welcome in my bathroom.”
“I’m not miserable.”
“You look like you are.”
“I did something wrong.”
“What exactly?”
“I’m not entirely sure. I can’t stop thinking about one person. She feels sorry for me and takes pity on me, but I don’t want it. I can’t get her sad look out of my head.”
“Pity is the worst form of love.”
“She doesn’t love me. She can’t.”
“Never tell a woman that she can’t do something” said Myrtle. “I’ll be in my toilet if you would want to cry together” added and disappeared.
Draco looked in the mirror above the bathroom sink. It was not supposed to happen, it couldn’t work. Never. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. He wasn’t a coward and he had to face the truth, at least his own truth. He started to have feelings for Hermione Granger.
face it
A bit of the truth, the truth
XXIII
“Bro, I almost went out myself, when I saw this” whispered Blaise, when Draco sat next to him in the Charms classroom. Malfoy looked at him like he’s out of his mind. “You know, Weasley and Granger. Disgusting. I have no idea how someone could fall for miss I-know-everything-better mudblood. But it’s Weasley, he never had a taste. Granger is on his level.”
That’s the price you pay
XXIV
“I really want to agree with you, but I have a dilemma in my heart if she’s not even under his level.”
She discovered the truth and didn’t report him. But he couldn’t return the favour. He could only run away from all his emotions like a coward he is.
Leave behind your heart and cast away
XXV
All people are cowards. We all live in fear of something and we can’t rise up against it, we can’t stand up to this. But it’s nothing hard. Maybe we would die, but at least for something right. And maybe later they wouldn’t let bury our bodies, but dead we wouldn’t care.
Just another product of today
XXVI
“Hey, Granger, did someone knock your front teeth out and put the beaver’s instead?” said Malfoy, coming across her way.
They were alone in the hall. And she didn’t talk back, she just gave him the same look full of sadness, which she was giving him in his dreams.
Rather be the hunter than the prey
XXVII
“What, your stupid cat got your tongue? Or you can’t move it because of your teeth?”
“We are here alone, Malfoy. You don’t have to pretend.”
“Are you accusing me of lying?” he asked and looked straight in her eyes.
Damn, do they ever change the expression?
If Earth was flat and he was standing on the edge, at this moment he would stagger and fall into broad, undiscovered space. Why did she always so perfectly give utter to the truth and at the same time didn’t get that nothing is that simple?
“No” she answered and got past him.
Probably you are the only one.
But she shouldn’t. He has lie in his blood.
And you’re standing on the edge, face up
‘Cause you’re a natural
XXVIII
“Granger!” he turned around. “Wait.”
“What?”
“Can we talk?”
“Why would I say yes?”
“Because you are the only person, who knows the truth.”
A beating heart of stone
XXIX
Room of Requirement resembled a nice and cozy waiting room, as Draco wished. It had creamy walls and soft coffee-brown carpet on the floor. In the middle of the room were two dark brown leather armchairs and a small coffee table. Malfoy sat on the one chair and asked her to sit on the other. She was silent, waiting.
“It’s weird, being here with you” he said after a while.
“It’s you, who wanted to talk. I can only wait like on pins and needles, expecting a bunch of Death Eaters to show up and kill me.”
“I thought you trust me.”
“Who told you this?”
He looked up at her, surprised. He imagined too much, when she was just… honourable.
You gotta be so cold
To make it in this world
Yeah, you’re a natural
XXX
“I can’t get your look out of my mind. Whatever I do, I see this pity and hear that I don’t deserve what happened.”
“I’m sorry then.”
“I’m not. I mean, I am. But not about this. You are the first person, who gave me hope, when everyone was taking it from me. You. Why didn’t you still report me to Dumbledore?”
“How do you know I didn’t?”
“Because I wouldn’t be here now.”
“Dumbledore has more empathy than you think.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”
“Why.”
“Oh, Merlin, Malfoy. Tell me, what would be in it for me? Now I have evidence against you, and you would do everything so nobody would find out.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Voldemort would kill you.”
“Don’t say his name.”
“I told you, I’m not scared.”
“I didn’t know that you are so self-interested, Granger” he said, but felt like something cracked inside him.
“Life forces me to this. So from now on you stop bullying me, Malfoy” she answered. She felt like she could burst into tears any moment, but she couldn’t do otherwise. If she had to use blackmailing to get herself peace after five years, she will.
Living your life cutthroat
You gotta be so cold
Yeah, you’re a natural
XXXI
That night Draco couldn’t sleep. He was finding himself tangled up in sheets, he was too cold and too hot at the same time, bed was too hard and too soft. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw red irises, which had no intention to lay him back and he couldn’t find another way to get them out of his head than summon the look of different eyes, full of compassion, in warm brown color. He felt like he’s falling from the cliff of his foregoing life to the ocean of emotions and cold depths washing him away to the unknown places. He was disappearing inside himself.
Deep inside me
I’m fading to black, I’m fading
XXXII
Everytime he was looking at her, he felt like his Dark Mark was burning under his skin. Everytime he worked at the Vanishing Cabinet his Dark Mark was burning under his skin. When Slytherins had classes with Gryffindors his Dark Mark was burning under his skin. Pain was supposed to remind him of the stigma he had. He thought it was funny. Like something could ever make him forget. And he wanted to forget so much, he wanted to live so much. He wanted his feelings to be valid, he wanted to love and to be loved. Truly. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t because his fate was already written in blood.
Took an oath by
The blood of my hand, won’t break it
XXXIII
Draco was eating toast with jam, when his sight wandered to the Gryffindor’s table. She was sitting there and laughing with Potter. When was the last time he saw her laugh? And why did he feel something warm in his heart? He saw that Weasley hugged her and that her smile got smaller, but she didn’t brush his arm off this time. Could he hug her like that one day? He closed his eyes. Would he have enough courage?
I can taste it
The end is upon us I swear
XXXIV
They were in the hall alone again. He blocked her way like last time, but this time he didn’t say a word. He ignored her last few months, following her request.
“Granger.”
“Malfoy” her voice saying his last name sounded like home.
“Let’s talk.”
“Why?”
Gonna make it
I’m gonna make it
XXXV
“I have feelings for you.”
“Yeah, you hate me, I know, Malfoy.”
“No, no, no. I… You are the only person who knows the truth. You are the only person who ever said that I don’t deserve this. The only person who gave me hope. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t get your eyes, your voice out of my head. When I see Weasley trying to hug you in the Great Hall I… I start wondering if I could do it someday.” He fell on his knees in front of her. “Granger, please…”