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2015-03-19
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1/1
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When Words Fail

Summary:

Kakashi pines after Obito and tries to make himself obvious but Obito has an over active imagination.

The bridge mission happened and Obito gave Kakashi his eye but no one died. In fact, no one has died, this is a no-one-dies-au.

Notes:

title is from Shrek the Musical. it's on netflix and has very good music, would recommend 10/10

Work Text:

Obito doesn’t know how long it’s been going under his radar, but he notices that Kakashi has been acting different. He’s less snappy and critical, and even agreeable most of the time. Obito’s tempted to say that Kakashi has developed manners, except that’s not quite true; it feels more like Kakashi has softened, mellowed, and realized that he was a total asshole and is trying to redeem himself in a less asshole way.

Which is great, and Obito applauds any asshole who is self aware and undergoing reform, but it feels like Kakashi expects something from him or expects him to do something. Obito has no idea what’s happening (and he used to think that Kakashi was the one whose brain couldn’t interpret social cues) but whatever’s making his teammate less of an asshole is working like lube for the coordination of their team, so he can’t complain.

But it’s still a little disturbing. Kakashi’s almost halfway to being nice.



For a while, Obito thinks it’s he’s imagining Kakashi’s stares boring into the back of his head, because every single time Obtio whips his head around, Kakashi is preoccupied with something else. And the attitude change by itself could probably be credited to Obito’s beloved teammate and best friend Hatake Kakashi finally maturing and emerging from the cocoon of puberty as an emotional adult, but paired with the attention he’s been giving Obito lately, he suspects something suspicious.

The first person he thinks to consult is Gai, Kakashi’s eternal rival, and the person who probably spends the most time with him outside of his team.

“Have you noticed anything different about Kakashi?” Obtio asks eagerly. He’s pretty desperate to confirm that he’s not paranoid and that Kakashi indeed has been trying out a new morning exercise routine, or yes, the water in Kakashi’s apartment is now composed of 20% more happiness. Something.

“I think he got a haircut last week,” Gai says, chewing his dango with an open mouth.

“I mean,” Obito leans in closer. “Anything about his behaviour. He hasn’t said anything about me being late for a while now. And occasionally he holds the door open for me and Rin. And last night when our team went out for ramen he let me have his kamaboko. I mean he’s such a picky eater he never eats those anyways, but he put them in my bowl, then looked at me like he was expecting me to test it for poison or something, I don’t know.”

“So what did you do?”

Obito frowns. “What do you mean what did I do? I didn’t want to be rude so I thanked him and ate it, but Gai, what does this mean?”

Gai shrugs. “Maybe he thinks of you as pack. You know, dogs taking care of each other and making sure everyone’s well fed or something. Did you ask Rin?”

Obito pouts and slumps in his seat. “She wouldn’t tell me anything. I know she knows something’s up, but she feigned ignorance.” Rin’s always been partial to Kakashi, but he suspects that her feelings aren’t so one-sided anymore. He won’t admit it but it bothers him that Kakashi’s been starting to respond to Rin’s adoration, spending time off duty with her and actually paying attention to her. It sounds ridiculous, but Obito feels isolated and alienated by Kakashi and Rin’s new friendship or amity or romance or whatever the hell is going on between them, and it’s not just his petty jealousy for Rin’s affections and attention.

Gai squints. “Maybe something good happened in his private life. He get a girlfriend or something?”

Obito sinks deeper into his seat and feels his heart weigh heavy in his chest. If Rin and Kakashi are together now, he knows he should be happy for them, but all he hears in his head is no, no, no.

When he shows up at the bridge to meet his team for their next mission, Kakashi and Rin are waiting for him, and Obito imagines their conversation topics might have been along the lines of ‘what kind of flowers the wedding bouquet should be made of’ and ‘what do you want to name our first daughter’. Obito drags his feet as he approaches.

“What’s up with you? Drink some sour milk or something?” Kakashi has his arms crossed and he looks generally disinterested, but his abrasive attitude is gone and his tone isn’t biting.

Obito for once is only mildly late, but instead of being the butt of Kakashi’s sharp remarks about his tardiness, he considers Obito with what he might mistake for concern. Obito sulkily wonders at the powers of young romance. Even asshats like Kakashi can be changed by love after all.

“Just considering my emotional future,” he sighs dramatically. He knows genin teams don’t last forever and they’re already jounin. Sensei’s already become a vacant figure on the team because of his responsibilities as hokage and Rin’s been pulling extra shifts at the hospital and Obito suspects she’ll start to work there full time. As for Kakashi, he doubts he’ll want to stick with Obito when the rest of the team has drifted apart, even if they do work together more than adequately with their shared sharingan.

Rin smiles and Obito suddenly has no doubts that she could tame Kakashi; instead he wonders that Kakashi returned her affections only now after so many years. “Don’t be so grim, Obito. You’ll always have us. Right, Kakashi?”

Kakashi makes a reluctant and ambiguous sound in his throat and turns away.

Obito’s somber mood dissipates and is replaced with irritation. “What the hell does that mean?! We’ll be teammates forever even when we go our separate ways!” Obito’s confidence returns and he feels a sudden overwhelming affection for his team. If they start to drift away, it’ll be his duty to keep them anchored together. His chest swells with sentiment and he wipes a few tears from his remaining eye and empty socket.

Rin beams at him and he misses the way Kakashi looks down and away.



The mission is, predictably, a success. The celebratory dinner involves a few too many drinks and Rin heads home early because she has a shift at the hospital in the morning and a hangover is a terrible idea.

“You should walk her home, Kashi,” Obito slurs. “It is your duty as partner and captain of this team to guide your teammates through darkness and uncertainty!”

Obito knows Kakashi didn’t drink enough to impede his mental facilities, but he squints as if he’s trying to understand what Obito said.

“Yeah, okay,” Kakashi says carefully, and leaves with Rin.

Obito puts his head down on the table and notices that Kakashi didn’t even put his hand on her waist or hold her hand or anything. He sighs. What a polite gentleman, not trying to get handsy even when they’re dating and planning on getting married and probably having two kids. Obtio closes his eyes and frowns. Was Kakashi always so nice? He can distantly remember a time when he was full of insults and criticism, shooting down Obito’s hardest efforts and accomplishing what he couldn’t without breaking a sweat. He remembers the irritation, the anger, the jealousy. He remembers the way Kakashi’s words tore down his pride, the way he looked at Obito in the same condescending way the rest of the Uchiha did, the sting and the pain and the tears. It’s at the back of his mind, like a vague yet vivid dream he once had.

Obito sniffs and rubs his nose. There are no tears left for that part of his life, when he had nothing but a wispy dream to be recognized by the village as hokage.

He finishes the remaining sake on the table and orders more. He’s probably going to regret it in the morning, but sensei is hokage and has a family now, his teammates are getting married, and everyone already has someone else. Obito hopes he knocks out where he is and doesn’t wake up until mid afternoon. There’s nothing waiting for him at his apartment except a cold bed and a leaky faucet.

He dreams that a stray dog follows him home. It’s fat and has a crooked mouth and the softest fur Obito’s ever felt.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he’s in his bed and there’s a glass of water on the bedside table. His head hurts too much to think and he goes back to sleep.



Obito promises himself that he won’t mope or sulk or be anything but ecstatic over the romantic union of his teammates. Their happiness is his happiness. He doesn’t know why he’s having such a hard time with accepting this. He grew out of his puppy-love crush on Rin years ago.

He swallows, and his mouth is dry. He hates himself for letting his selfish loneliness stand in the way of his otherwise endless love for his team. He hates himself for being the selfish one on the team. They’d probably be better off without him. This is the best way the team could’ve turned out. Sensei is hokage, Rin and Kakashi are a couple, and Obito is punished by his own loneliness for daring to want everyone to himself.

He muffles his sobs into the crook of his elbow and hopes nothing but the bare walls of his apartment hears.



The next mission the team takes is an A rank to the Land of the Earth to retrieve sensitive information carried by fallen Konoha shinobi. Rin has been staying in the village to take up a full time position at the hospital and only goes on an occasional mission, so it’s just Obito and Kakashi this time. Stealth is critical; the goal of the mission is to go under enemy radar and return undetected.

They travel mostly in silence and the going is uneventful. It takes about a week and there is minimal obstruction. Absolutely nothing seems off, which should have triggered about twenty alarms between the two of them.

They see the ambush coming, but not nearly in time.

Obito and Kakashi are separated, Kakashi to collect the scrolls sealed into the rock of the mountainous landscape by the Konoha shinobi in their last moments of life, and Obito to scout the area for signs of the enemy shinobi.

The Iwa nin appear through the rock and walls of the mountain, hidden from the sharingan by the stone. An earth jutsu catches him off guard and encases Obito’s right leg in rock, and by the time he frees himself his ankle feels broken. There are about seventeen that surround him. Even without his handicap they would be a challenge; he knows he’s hopelessly outnumbered. Still, he’s more than willing to fight to the end; he’s faced death once before and survived. He does not fear death. (What he fears is loneliness.)

A piercing sound like a hundred birds singing at once and an impossibly bright point of light whips through the line of Iwa nin. While the rest are distracted and confused, Obito brings two of them down with his shuriken. By the time they collapse, Kakashi has claimed the remaining shinobi with his father’s blade. There’s a second for the both of them to breathe, then they check on each of the fallen enemy to make sure they’re dead.

Kakashi silently crouches with his back to Obito, and his intention is unmistakable. For once, Obito doesn’t argue and gets on. When they’re a safe distance away, Kakashi sets Obito down and gently probes at his ankle. Obito winces and draws in a sharp breath but doesn’t say anything. He feels a little embarrassed for being injured and becoming a burden while Kakashi emerged from the fight unscathed, but this is Kakashi. He’s seen Obito in more compromising situations. He understands that Kakashi does not consider him a troublesome charge to protect, but rather a teammate who needed back up.

Kakashi treats his leg with skills that are nowhere up to par with Rin’s, but his hands have the same amount of tenderness. As he wraps Obito’s ankle with a bandage, he looks up and Obito realizes.

Oh. Oh.

He had not been jealous of Kakashi for Rin’s affections.

He’s in love with Kakashi.

It’s not nearly as much of a shock as it should be.

“You idiot,” Kakashi says, but it’s a sound of relief, of undoubted concern.

“Asshole,” Obito bites back, and he’s smiling.


When they get back, Obito gets professional medical treatment and Rin mothers him incessantly. There’s a clean break in two places in the bone, but he’ll be fine in a few weeks, walking and training again in no time.

Obito’s on medical leave, mostly stuck with paperwork and desk shifts at mission control. Rin’s working full time at the hospital, and with the team down to one, Kakashi goes alone on short B and C ranks. Obito has plenty of time to catch up with his friends during his shifts at the mission desk, and he has regular meals three times a day. It’s the most routine life he’s had in a long time, but honestly, he misses the short nights spent sleeping cramped between tree branches.

This period of rest so soon after the biggest and most anticlimactic epiphany gives Obito way too much time to think. He doesn’t get very far with thinking about Kakashi, because even thinking his name makes him blush and squirm and the last time it happened it was in the men’s room and Genma still can’t meet his eye.

It’s a problem. Especially because Kakashi is completely the opposite of available and he’s involved with Rin, and they’re the two most important people in Obito’s life. The three of them have dinner together every other day, but so far Obito’s managed to show up early and a little drunk to write off his strange behaviour around Kakashi on alcohol. He thanks his dead parents that Rin’s there to keep things from getting too awkward.

Eventually, Obito gets enough alcohol flowing through his brain to act somewhat normally.

Rin hiccups and giggles, stands up and sways a little. “I’m going to the ladies’ room. I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” she says, face stony and solemn and pointing her finger at the empty space beside Kakashi.

Obito watches her go, then swings an arm around Kakashi’s neck and pulls him in close to whisper loudly. “Rin’s great, she’s really so magical- sometimes I stay up at night crying about how wonderful she is and how lucky I am to have her in my life,” his eyes are getting a little blurry and wet, and he really, really didn’t mean to admit that part out loud. “She’s- she’s so great,” he suddenly wails, choking with emotion because Rin and Kakashi really are perfect for each other, then buries his face in Kakashi’s shoulder to blows his nose into his shirt. He’s a capriciously emotional drunk.

He removes himself from his teammate and scrubs at his face hard, probably smearing around the tears and snot that remain. Kakashi looks stiff and considerably more sober than he was a minute ago. After nearly a decade in his company, Obito could be a professionally certified mood interpreter of Kakashi’s right eye. He squints- maybe Obito left a lot more mucus on Kakashi’s sleeve than he meant to- but stumbles on.

“And you’re a great guy, Kashi, and things will turn out perfect and you’ll have two perfect babies and maybe you’ll even be a stay-at-home dad, you’re the best team leader ever, you take good care of us, you’re lucky to have Rin but she’s so lucky to have you too, I love you so much,” his words are all rushed together and are more of a mumble. Obito sobs a couple of times, eyes closed, and drifts off.

When he almost wakes up, his face is mashed into someone’s skin and he feels like he’s being gently lulled back and forth.

“Nngggghh,” he groans incoherently, tries to raise his head and finds that the muscles in his neck suddenly decided to pursue their dreams without two weeks notice and have become noodles. He opens his one eye and sees silver hair, blinks, and sees Kakashi’s mask. Obito’s probably on his back again; what a reliable teammate.

“Kashi?” he slurs, his head floating kilometers above in the sky.

“I’m not dating Rin,” Kakashi says, his voice impossibly steady and serious.

Obito’s brain processes his words, and he freezes- but he’s plastered so it’s probably more of an impression of a dog that’s been dead for a couple of hours and has stiff limbs but not quite dead enough to start rotting-

“I’m not dating Rin, Obito,” Kakashi repeats, and his voice pins down Obito’s wandering mind.

“I thought you were getting married,” Obito mumbles, and he doesn’t know if this is a dream or a fantasy and the night will end with Kakashi carrying him to the central square of the village where there’s a midnight wedding set up and the whole village will be attending and they’re the ones getting married-

“No one’s getting married, Obito,” Kakashi says, and there’s a little amusement in his tone this time.

Obito closes his eyes and thinks. If not a wedding, maybe the dream will end with Kakashi carrying Obito home and throwing him on the bed and having messy, sloppy, drunken sex while they’re still clothed-

“Only if you want to,” Kakashi says, voice low and heavy, and it sounds far too real to be something Obito imagined in the fits of a drunken dream.

“Argghh,” he mumbles, and drifts off.



Obito wakes up, flinching at the light offending his eyes, and the only thing he remembers is Kakashi denying any romantic relationship with Rin.

He smiles and pushes his face deep into his pillow despite his hangover, and definitely does not squeal. After a few minutes of face-in-pillow treatment to smother his happiness, Obito rolls out of bed and heads to his kitchen for a glass of water and maybe half a raw onion if it hasn’t started sprouting in his fridge.

He doesn’t expect Kakashi to be sitting at his kitchen table, reading that erotica novel he carries around, looking like he perfectly belongs there, in Obito’s apartment.

“What,” Obito says.

Kakashi looks up. “I thought I might stay and follow up on that enlightening conversation we had last night,” he says, as casually as he might ask if Obito had slept well.

“You mean the one where you finally revealed to me that you weren’t getting married after months of lies and deception?” Obito says, and collapses into the chair opposite Kakashi.

Kakashi blinks, his eyebrow twitching. “I never said anything to suggest that I was in a relationship with Rin,” he says slowly. “And I was referring more to the part where you confessed your love for me.”

Obito freezes, and his toes cramp with the anxious tension in his body. “I… what?”

“You told me you love me, remember?” And Obito is about to bolt, but Kakashi continues, “Which is convenient, because that’s how I feel about you, too.”

Now Obito really has to express his distress vocally. “What? Since when?” he yelps, hands gripping the table.

Kakashi shrugs. “It’s been a while.”

Obito gapes, his mouth opening and closing and perhaps trembling a little. “But you never said anything!”

“I’ve been courting you for months now, if you hadn’t noticed,” Kakashi huffs, and crosses his arms.

And it clicks- the subtle feeding, the door opening, the lack of chastisement when Obito runs late. “How was I supposed to know anything?!” he’s exasperated, but he’s smiling so hard now that his cheeks hurt a bit.

“Well, anyone but you would realize it, you dull rock-“ Kakashi’s cut off by Obito pressing his face against Kakashi’s in an attempt to kiss him through his mask, but he’s still smiling and his teeth end up smashing into Kakashi’s nose. Kakashi reaches up to pull down his mask to his chin, and he has a soft blush dusting his cheeks. Obito doesn’t even have time to study the face that has eluded him for so long, because it doesn’t matter what his face looks like; this is Kakashi, and he really needs to kiss him right now.

If his enthusiasm to lick all corners of Kakashi’s mouth leads to Obito’s tongue getting a million tiny cuts from Kakashi’s unusually sharp incisors, well. It’s a small price to pay.