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My dearest Tally,
I'm sure you are wondering why I’m writing you this letter, in fact, I’m wondering the same thing myself. It has been months since we have spoken, let alone had a proper conversation. Yet, you seem to have taken up a permanent residence in my thoughts and I just can’t seem to shake you. It seems I couldn’t stop myself from writing this to you any more than I was able to get over the feelings I so reluctantly let myself develop for you. I know how ridiculous that must sound, for we were never really anything. You must be thinking about how pathetic it is that with everything else I’ve got to worry about, I’m sitting here writing a letter to a girl I never even got to be with. We are two very different people, and yet we found each other and for a moment there was a possibility of more for us. Perhaps that is why I still find myself caught in your orbit, pulled in by the gravity of our “What if”?
“What if?”
I never did like the idea of unfinished business. With over 370 years on this Earth, I have made too many decisions to count, and I have my regrets. But I have never questioned something like I have when it comes to you my sweet Tally. The endless possibilities, the unknown of what could have been. It is the “What if?”, that keeps me up at night, staring into the dark as if its endlessness would provide me the answer only you could. There are times I feel as if I’ve moved past that ever lingering question, after all, it’s hard not to be distracted by the current state of the country and what it means for us. But then, as unavoidable as it seems to be, the feelings and the questions return. You, Tally Craven, are the cold wave that crashes down just as I manage to keep my head above the water. It is blinding, suffocating, and altogether terrifying. You are terrifying because you and these feelings I have for you are the one thing I can’t seem to figure out or move on from. You are my biggest “What if?” Tally, and for that, you are my greatest heartbreak.
For all the world knows, I died at the battle of Fort Salem and I was returned to the Mycelium. That’s all that you know. For that reason, this letter will likely never find you. It would be too dangerous for you to know that I’d returned. You’d be an even bigger target for the Camarilla than you already are, and that is something I can not allow. Just know that I have been watching over you, and will continue to, to the best of my abilities. I will do whatever I can to fix my mess and find my way to you again, for maybe then I can find some closure.
You are an unstoppable force, Tally Craven. Don’t let anyone be the immovable object that gets in your way.
All my love,
Sarah