Chapter Text
There was a certain type of nervousness that came with first dates that never really went away; Alec couldn’t help but think as he looked around the room. Perhaps even more so when you were going on a date with the man you were pretty sure was the love of your life. It might have sounded a little ridiculous, sure, but Alec was pretty sure about his assessment of one of his best friends (and now date).
He found himself smiling at just the thought of Magnus, something he was slowly coming to realize was becoming the norm. Really, how couldn’t he? After nearly four years of friendship, Magnus had taken the leap and asked Alec out — although Alec would argue, they both took the leap and were going out with each other.
It had been a while since either of them had gone on a date. Let alone been in a relationship, with Magnus having come out of a long-term relationship eight months ago and Alec having been single for over a year. The fact that they were risking their friendship on this date meant more to either of them than they were willing to admit. While they hadn’t exactly been pining over each other throughout the duration of their friendship, they also couldn’t deny that there had always been something more there.
Not for the first time that day, Alec undid and redid the top button of his shirt.
What was even more ridiculous about those first date jitters, he supposed, was the fact that he and Magnus already lived together! They’d become roommates three years back and had never really separated, even when they’d both been in serious monogamous relationships. There just hadn’t been enough (read: practical and economic) reason to. Privately, Alec thought that maybe it was more because they had always known they would reach this point, but he digressed. He had always been a bit of a romantic.
And yet, none of his idyllic daydreams nor his romanticism helped him put into words the utter beauty that was Magnus Bane as he entered the museum lobby. He was all decked out in a tailored three-piece suit of navy and gray with a pastel yellow tie that highlighted the gold eyeliner and the sparkle of glitter (highlighter, he could hear Magnus correct him in his head) on his cheekbones. A streak of royal blue went through his perfectly coiffed hair; it was the same color as the nails Alec knew he’d pressed on that morning. There was only gloss on his lips, which Alec found surprising because Magnus had always loved his lipsticks, often buying at least three different shades or kinds when he and Alec passed by a Sephora.
There were a few murmurs and stares from the other museum-goers, and Alec couldn’t even blame them. How can you not look and be affected when a masterpiece personified arrived in the form of Magnus Bane?
Alec walked right up to Magnus, heart thundering in his chest. There were no butterflies in his stomach, no. Instead, Alec felt like a livewire, energy buzzing under his skin with the need to have and to hold Magnus. It felt odd now, he had noted, since they'd shared their first kiss, not to have Magnus in his arms or to be able to reach out and hold him when they were in the same room.
Before he even reached Magnus, the man caught his gaze and smiled.
They met in the middle, where a large Angel statue seemed frozen mid-flight with a sword in one hand and a cup in the other. A part of him still couldn’t believe that this was actually happening, even with Magnus right there in front of him. He opened his arms for Magnus, who stepped into them without a second thought.
“You look beautiful tonight,” Alec murmured as they began their walk around the museum. His smile was small but no less genuine, his face seemingly unsure how to temper how giddy he felt in the face of his new reality.
“Are you saying I don’t any other night?” Magnus teased, though his expression softened as he added, “And you look utterly handsome, Alexander.” He reached over and smoothed a hand down one lapel of Alec's suit. His lips pressed against Alec's cheek, and Alec found himself unable to fight the blush blooming on his cheeks.
He actually disagreed. Compared to Magnus, Alec might as well be in a potato sack in his charcoal suit.
If he could walk with Magnus and look at him at the same time, he would. As it was, he would settle for having Magnus at his side, hand tucked in the crook of Alec's arm, and making various comments on the pieces and installations. Alec had always loved talking to Magnus, perhaps more so now, as he basked in the utter glow of the man as he shared his insights.
"You know, you're supposed to look at the art, Alexander."
"And I am," agreed Alec with a nod, knowing he'd been caught staring at Magnus for perhaps the entire part of the previous room. He was shameless about the way he enjoyed laying his eyes upon his date. Why would he be ashamed? Magnus was beautiful and brilliant.
Alec looked down at Magnus beside him, content to just take in the fact that he gets to be by this man for at least one night.
This was their first date, but Alec knew they had loved each other long before today.
If Alec were being honest, he didn’t remember much of the rest of the date, save for the fact that it was some History of Fashion thing that Magnus had been wanting to attend. All he really remembered was Magnus’ hand in his and that feeling of everything being right in the world. He followed the man through every exhibit and couldn’t help but think that yes, Magnus’ hand in his, was all that Alec would ever need.
Only a year passed before Alec found himself waiting for Magnus once again. They’d really done it this time. What had started as a joke had become reality as the two got married in a courthouse after deciding they’d rather plan a reception than a wedding.
The reception, held in a lovely botanical garden, was filled with their family, friends, and even some associates from Lightwood & Branwell. His parents hadn’t been too happy with the situation, more because of how short their relationship and subsequent engagement had been than any actual dislike for Magnus, he thought. But how can they disagree when he and Magnus had known each other so long and so well? Who else could ever love their son as well and as wholly as Magnus Bane?
He knew he was grinning like a fool where he sat, in the middle of the dance floor for a supposed surprise Magnus had prepared, but he couldn’t even be bothered to care. He had just married the love of his life. How could he be anything but utterly elated?
The door opened with a slam as Magnus entered. There are four other people with him, and while Alec appreciated the effort that went into the entire number, all he could really focus on was Magnus. He laughed and clapped as Magnus performed, thoughts consumed only with the thought that he gets to spend the rest of his life with this man.
Alec scrunches his eyes before he blinks them open.
He feels groggy and cotton-mouthed, as if he'd been drinking heavily and was paying for it today with a horrible hangover. Last night feels like a blur of socializing and barely any champagne, so he isn't sure why he's this affected by it. That wasn't exactly his first charity gala. No matter. He'll recover. Hopefully, Magnus has one of those miracle breakfasts of his ready. Those always help him bounce back from a night out.
When he finally gets his bearings, he finds that he's in an unfamiliar room with white walls and —
He's in the hospital, he realizes immediately, looking down at his current bed and clothes. His right arm and left leg are in a cast, and there's an IV drip secured to his left hand. There's those tiny breathing tubes connected to his nostrils and, he reaches up to touch his temple, a bandage wrapped around his head. What had happened last night? Had he and Magnus gotten into an accident?
Magnus!
Movement makes him look to the side, and he feels a flood of relief rush through him at the sight of his husband.
"Oh thank the Angel you're okay," he says in lieu of a greeting, reaching out to him with his left hand.
"Of course I am,” Magnus says, brows furrowed. “Good morning." He takes Alec’s offered hand as he comes to his side, though he doesn’t immediately return the grip with which Alec holds him.
The cold metal of Magnus’ rings bring comfort to Alec like nothing else can. He shifts their hands so that their fingers can intertwine, and it's all Alec can do not to just pull his husband down for a kiss. He’s always been a fan of how easy it is to tell that he’s holding one of Magnus’ hands because of the jewelry he wore and how well he took care of his skin. Magnus' hands are always so soft and smooth, which contrasted well with the texture of the rings he often favored. One in particular is his favorite of course, and just before he can look down and gaze upon it, Magnus leans over and presses a button on the wall. It was probably to call a nurse to the room, but Alec finds himself distracted by the slope of Magnus’ neck and the facial hair he sports. That had certainly not been there last night.
“How are you feeling?” Magnus asks as he pulls back.
“Not as good as you look,” Alec replies with a grin. He lets his eyes take in the entirety of Magnus' outfit. A deep maroon shirt and cloud gray slacks that would have looked plain on anyone else looks breath-taking on his husband. With the top button undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, Magnus looks more dialed down than he usually is. His hair has only enough product so that it doesn't fall on his face, which Alec knows he usually does when he's going for a more formal or casual look. His lips are framed with facial hair he usually prefers to shave away, and it's all Alec can do not to stare too openly. Magnus looks great, if not a little more muted than Alec’s used to. Magnus is rarely without his colors. Actually, Alec thinks as he squints up at Magnus' plain face, his husband is rarely without his eyeliner. A tiger has his stripes, and I have eyeliner. He can just remember Magnus saying at their vanity as he lined his eyes saying as much. The lack of makeup makes Alec frown in concern.
Magnus mimics his expression and squeezes his hand briefly, a small huff of air that passes for a chuckle leaving his lips. “Always the charmer, Mr. Lightwood.”
“Mr. Lightwood,” Alec repeats dubiously, worry already creeping into his tone. “So formal ...but alright, I’ll play along. I must correct you though. It’s Mr. Lightwood-Bane.”
There’s an odd look that crosses Magnus’ face that Alec can only describe as flabbergasted, but before he can ask more, the door opens and in comes a nurse to check his vitals. It's as he's answering the routine questions of a patient waking up from being put under anesthesia that one thing becomes apparent, and when Izzy and his doctor — a Doctor Penhallow — join them, it's all confirmed.
He's lost his memories.
Eight years of them, in fact.
For Alec, he'd gone to sleep with Magnus in his arms after one of his parents' charity things, just a year after he and Magnus had gotten married.
For everyone else, this was the first time Magnus and Alec had been in the same room since their divorce three years ago.
For Magnus, Alec was little more than the ex-husband who hadn’t bothered to change his emergency contact.
"No," Alec repeats for the umpteenth time that afternoon. "No, no, no, that's not possible." He holds Magnus' right hand between both of his. It's a little awkward with his cast and Magnus' loose hold, but it's the only thing that feels real in this messed up alternate universe where he and Magnus are apparently not as infallible as he thought they were. He grips Magnus' hand so tightly that his own hand trembles, and Magnus places his free hand over Alec's to reassure him.
"Lightw— Alec," Magnus says. Doctor Penhallow left over an hour ago, optimistic that most (if not all) of Alec’s memories would return with time, and Alec has done nothing but stare catatonically at the wall across from his bed. He can see that Magnus is looking at Izzy instead of him, and he bitterly realizes there’s probably an entire conversation happening that he has no context for. Even though all Alec wants is to be able to look into Magnus' eyes and know they'll get through this together, he lets them have their moment. His life has been flipped upside down, but he knows there are also more practical things to think about that they probably have to consider.
Izzy, who’s standing on his left and looks far different from how he last remembered her (huge glasses and combat boots have apparently made way for contact lenses and high heels in the eight years he’s lost), takes a small step back and switches her attention to her phone. She's tapping at it and turns her back to them before pressing it to her ear.
Magnus squeezes Alec's hand, and before he can even speak, Alec already knows he's going to hate his next words. "I understand this is a lot to take in right now, but I'm sure Isabelle will be able to address all of your concerns." He tries to shift away, but Alec's hold keeps him in place.
"Please," Alec begs, hands trembling and voice breaking. He isn’t surprised when tears begin to fall from his eyes and his vision blurs. He doesn't want to see Magnus go. This can't be real. They'd vowed, after all, hadn't they? Forever. In every life. "Please, stay with me."
"Oh, Alec."
And so Magnus stays.
Well, he stays the night but has to leave early for work the following morning. Alec manages to convince him to come back after, though, calling on every trick he knows as a lawyer and Magnus’ best friend. He still can’t quite stomach the thought of Magnus being an ex of his, and tries to forget about that specific bit of information entirely. Maybe, if he can forget learning that, it won’t be true.
Although Magnus spends the night, neither of them bring up their relationship or most of what’s happened in the last eight years. Magnus directs most of the conversation, already taking into account how drained Alec is and how likely it is that he’s going to end up dozing off. Alec thinks it’s both perceptive and considerate of Magnus, but there’s a niggling thought in the back of his mind that he won’t like anything he finds out from the years he can’t remember.
Alec had been surprised to find out that Magnus is a lawyer now. Magnus. His Magnus. The most vibrant and creative man he's ever met — who’d spend countless hours trying to get his clothing line up and in stores, who’d lost sleep and sanity running himself ragged working odd jobs in between pursuing his dream — stuck in the same drab suits and paperwork Alec is? Since when? How had that happened?
“Life happens,” Magnus had replied with a shrug and a tight-lipped smile when Alec asked, and they’d left it at that. If there’s anything Alec knew well, it was a Magnus that wanted to talk, but would not.
“But how are you, Magnus?” Alec manages to ask when there’s a lull in conversation, punctuating the statement with a yawn. Izzy left half an hour ago after promising she would be back early tomorrow morning with enough time for Magnus to get ready for work and make it to his brunch meeting.
Magnus has made himself comfortable on the small armchair beside Alec’s bed. “I’m well, thank you.” He replies with a smile and a small shake of his head. “The timing of your accident was pretty uncanny, really. I’m supposed to be leaving today, but the contract we were negotiating needed a few revisions and now I’m here for another eight days.”
“Maybe it’s fate,” Alec jokes, though it falls empty because of the history that now hangs between them. History he can’t even remember, he thinks bitterly.
Izzy is there as soon as the sun rises, and Magnus is ducking out with a kiss to her cheek and the coffee she brought him in his hand. Alec only gets a small pat on the hand and a promise that he’ll return that evening, and although he feels horrible, he has to remind himself once again that he doesn’t have all the information he needs. He doesn’t know what happened between him and Magnus, but he knows without a doubt that they can talk about it. They can’t just be over.
“You know,” Izzy begins hours later as she hands him a pack of fries to go with their lunch. “It’s been long enough that I’d forgotten how much of a lovesick puppy you were when you two were together. You look at him like the sun rises, shines, and sets on Magnus Bane.”
Bane. That is another thing he needs to get used to. Magnus and he had hyphenated when they’d gotten married. Lightwood-Bane had sounded wonderful to both of them. The knowledge that Magnus reverted back to just Bane sours his stomach to the point of losing his appetite.
Izzy looks sheepish when she realizes what she’s said. “Sorry.” She presses her lips together, opens her mouth, and then closes it again.
“I see you’re still not very subtle.”
“Yeah, well, I rarely have to be,” Izzy says with a laugh. “I just…” She puts a hand over his left hand and squeezes. “It’s about mom and dad.”
Magnus returns an hour later, just after Izzy has updated Alec on the death of their parents earlier in the year. Their mom had apparently found out about their dad’s decade-long affair, and the two were in the middle of a divorce when they’d gotten involved in a pile-up that had resulted in their deaths. Hearing just about the tail end of the conversation, Magnus sheds his coat and stands by Izzy.
Alec's immediate reaction is to reach for Magnus, who indulges him and takes Alec into his arms without a second thought. He comes up to sit on the bed with him, and Alec turns to tuck his face into Magnus’ neck. He thinks of the last time he’d seen his parents. They’d looked content and maybe a little stressed, but it was understandable because there had been some issues with the firm at the time. To think that even in his memory, eight years ago, his father had already been seeing another woman. There’s more to the story, he thinks, because he’d noticed the way Izzy had looked at Magnus and the minute shake of the latter’s head. But there will be time to figure it out.
“Just let it out,” Magnus says soothingly, and Alec basks in the atmosphere. He breathes in the sandalwood scent he’s forever going to associate with Magnus, and lets out another sob. His broken arm lays between them, while his other arm wraps around Magnus and grips the back of his shirt. He hasn’t even realized he’s started crying.
Alec barely even notices Izzy slipping away, finding his whole world reduced to the space (or lack thereof) between him and Magnus. This is all he wants: the comfort and warmth only Magnus can offer.
As always, Magnus feels like the life preserver in the ocean that keeps wanting to drown Alec.
He falls asleep in Magnus’ arms, and wakes up to Magnus and Izzy speaking in hushed tones. They’re talking about him, of course, and he keeps his eyes closed just so he can listen in.
“I already had my time off planned and approved, but I’ll see what I can do with my schedule so I can keep him company,” Izzy says.
Magnus hums. “You should mention it to him. I don’t think he’d be a fan of being babysat.”
“Yeah, he’ll only tolerate it if it’s you.” Izzy’s tone is teasing. Alec agrees with her in his head.
“Ha,” Magnus scoffs. “Once upon a time, maybe.”
“You mean like…around the time you two were in the literal actual honeymoon phase?” His heart constricts at the onslaught of feelings those words bring.
“Izzy,” warns Magnus.
“Sorry.”
“He might want to stay at his new apartment or something.”
“New apartment?”
Magnus’ confusion is evident when he asks, “Didn’t he move out after the…”
“No…” Izzy’s voice is much softer as she adds, “I don’t think he’ll ever leave that place ”
“Well, it’s all his now, isn’t it?” Magnus snaps, though his voice remains little more than a whisper. “Sorry, sorry, but this entire situation’s a mess, isn’t it? Why hadn’t he changed his information? I’d have thought he’d have you listed as emergency contact by now — or whoever he’s seeing — is he seeing someone new? Should we have contacted someone and—”
Magnus abruptly stops talking, and Alec assumes Izzy puts a hand on his arm or something to get him to stop. He finally gives up the charade and opens his eyes just in time to catch Izzy shaking her head. They make quite a striking pair, he can’t help but think, the deep amethyst of Magnus’ shirt complements the plum dress Izzy has on. She must have thrown on Magnus’ slate blazer when she went out to buy them dinner earlier, because she still has it on.
“Do I get any of those?”
The pair smile at him and bring food over, and they pass the night trading stories mixed with updates of things he can’t recall. He finds out that Izzy’s getting married in two weeks to Simon, and that Jace and Clary moved away last year when Clary was assigned in France as a museum curator. There are more, but the one thing Alec’s mind latches onto are the constant messages Magnus is getting.
No, not the messages, really, though he’s curious about those as well.
Alec’s curious about the two little boys featured on Magnus’ lock screen. He wants to ask about it, but feels like he’s in no place to do so.
“I do still know how to live on my own, you know.” He points out, when the topic of where he’ll be staying until at least his casts are removed in six weeks time.
“Not while injured.” Izzy says with a roll of her eyes. “I just need to talk to the admin and see if someone can pick up my classes.” Medical Doctor and Professor of Biology, Isabelle Lightwood. That’s his sister. Alec’s heart soars with pride.
“Well, I’m free tomorrow,” Magnus says slowly. “I wouldn’t mind accompanying him to the apartment; help him settle in.” He doesn’t look at Alec as he makes the offer, but Alec sees the apprehension in his gaze just the same.
Izzy doesn’t ask Magnus if he’s sure, opting instead to nod. A sharp ring cuts through whatever Izzy actually has to say though, and Alec watches Magnus pull out his phone and answer it with a bright:
“Hello, blueberry!” He motions to the door as he stands, leaving the Lightwoods alone once again.
“Kids,” Alec finds himself saying despite his earlier thoughts. “Magnus has kids?”
“Yes he does,” replies Izzy with a small smile. She looks a little guilty as she says, “They’re great.” No, Alec realizes, not guilt. It’s pity written on his sister’s face as she looks at her lovelorn brother.
“That’s…” He swallows the lump in his throat. “Great,” he finally says, voice strained. “Good for him —
them.”
And the idea that when Alec says
‘them’
he might mean Magnus and an entirely different (nameless, faceless) partner makes Alec’s stomach churn. “I’m happy for Magnus.”
Magnus doesn’t spend the night, but he does promise to be there for Alec’s release, and to pick up some groceries and essentials for him, just in case he’s running low.
And that's how they find themselves in the apartment that had once been their home.
Well, Alec supposes it still is his home, because he had apparently never moved out after his and Magnus’ divorce.
Alec leans on one of his crutches, watching as Magnus sets down the food they'd picked up earlier. He looks around the space and notes the differences from what he last remembered. The same table from Ikea sits in the dining area, with the same mismatched stools he and Magnus had collected over the years. A sectional has replaced the old lumpy blue couch he and Magnus used to spend countless nights on. There’s no longer a fluffy rug in the middle of the living area, but the same coffee table holds a stack of papers and folders that look like case files. Under the obviously new television are unfamiliar pieces of technology and a very obvious lack of photographs.
“Your phone’s on the coffee table,” Magnus says as he unpacks their food. “Actually, it’s your phone and a new one. Your actual phone got pretty banged up, so Isabelle got a new one for you.”
“You know I found out something,” Alec says as he hobbles over to the sectional. He’s still getting used to the crutches, but he likes to think he’s adjusting quickly. From the look Magnus sends him, he probably looks like he’s about to fall over. “You’re not a lawyer,” he says as he sits. There’s enough space on the seat that he can lift his legs up, and he reaches for his severely cracked phone and the still-sealed and boxed one before leaning back.
“Excuse me?” Magnus asks as he walks over. He takes a pillow and places it under Alec’s cast, sending Alec an amused smirk. “You want me to show you my license or something?”
“You’re a designer!” Alec has a bit of trouble undoing the seal and doing things in general, between his broken wrist and his general excitement at having discovered something. Magnus offers his hand for the box, and Alec hands it over with a smile. “Izzy told me you designed her wedding dress, and I Googled you using her phone earlier. Bane Co. is a pretty well-known brand. I saw your clothes all over Instagram."
Magnus holds up a forefinger at him, and Alec feels giddy that that particular mannerism of Magnus hasn’t changed. Maybe it’s ridiculous, but Alec delights in how offended Magnus looks. “First of all,” Magnus says. “I am a lawyer. Second, Bane Co. is still pretty niche. I have a few big clients, yes, but it’s still not my primary source of income. It wouldn’t be able to sustain our cost of living.”
“Right.” Alec averts his gaze as he tries to switch his old phone on. “Your kids.”
There’s a pause, and then Magnus hands his new phone back just as Alec realizes his old one wouldn’t switch on anymore. “Yes,” Magnus says softly. The fondness in his tone makes Alec’s heart ache. “My pride and joy.”
Alec slowly starts to unbox his new phone, before replying, just as softly: “May I see them?”
“How about we get your phone all set up and some food in our systems first?” Magnus suggests. Alec looks up at him briefly just to assure himself that Magnus isn’t unhappy with him. When he sees Magnus’ smile, he mirrors the expression and nods.
As Magnus returns to preparing their food, Alec watches him.
They lived here years before they’d gotten married, and Alec had thought they might have lived here forever — or until their family needed more room, whichever came first. He hates the thought that that isn’t in the cards for them anymore. The subject of their divorce is still something he hasn’t breached, and Alec has a feeling the reason Magnus agreed to talk about his kids is because he wants to talk about their divorce less.
It takes an hour for them to eat and set Alec’s phone up. A part of him wants to fiddle with it and look through his synced messages and photos, but he wants to get to know Magnus more, so he waits patiently as Magnus puts everything away. With hindsight, he realizes that maybe it isn’t the smartest idea to ask Magnus about his kids, because that means Magnus might mention having a partner to raise them with, and Alec isn’t sure he’s ready for that.
“You look horrible,” Magnus says as he rejoins Alec in the living room.
“Thanks,” replies Alec with a roll of his eyes. “I got into a car accident and I lost my memories. Let’s see you look better.” He actually would though, Alec can’t help but think. Magnus looks great no matter what, and Alec’s pretty sure that’s a fact of the universe. Death, taxes, and Magnus Bane will always look attractive to Alec Lightwood.
Magnus’ grin doesn’t dim, and Alec is helpless to the way his heart stutters at the sight of his husband. He’s in the most casual attire Alec has seen him since he’d woken up; wearing a plain magenta shirt tucked into dark pants. It still baffles Alec how differently Magnus dresses now. Gone are the multitude of necklaces and earcuffs. His nails are unpainted and while he still wears rings, it isn’t as varied as he used to (and Alec has yet to see a specific ring to make an appearance — assuming Magnus still has it). A plain-looking watch sits on Magnus’ wrist where colorful bands and bracelets used to sit. Alec thinks of him as handsome now as he always was, and it feels a lot like the heart remembers what the mind’s forgotten, because there’s a flood of melancholy that hits him.
In the apartment in which they’d cultivated their love and dreamed of their future, Magnus stands before him, an entirely different man to the one in Alec’s mind, about to talk about the family he’s built (and probably still building) without Alec.
“Here,” Magnus says as he shows Alec his lockscreen. A picture of two toddlers smile up at him in coordinated outfits. The older boy, who couldn’t be more than five, is wearing a full Woody from Toy Story costume, complete with the cowboy hat and the written Andy under his boot. He has his arms and legs wrapped around his little brother as he smiles up at the camera, and Alec’s brow twitches with how familiar the boy looks. The toddler is in a Mr. Potato Head onesie which had the nose protruding from his chest and so obviously enamored with the thing because he’s looking down at it and is gripping it in both hands.
“Cute,” Alec says.
Magnus huffs and shakes his head. “I know it’s awkward, I mean — ”
“Don’t.” Alec returns Magnus’ phone. “I know this entire thing is weird, but I think we’ve been doing so well with…” He motions between them, and Magnus seats himself on the floor and rests one arm by Alec’s thigh so he’s looking up at him. The action has tears springing to Alec’s eyes. Magnus has always had a thing for sitting on the floor whenever he was planning a collection or brainstorming or studying, Alec remembers. He claimed it helped him think; that it grounded him.
The last conversation Alec recalls having with Magnus looking up at him in a similar position is when they’d learned of Max’s passing, just a few months after they’d gotten married. He presses a hand against his chest, feeling as if a weight had settled there that he can never move. Logically, he knows Max had died almost ten years ago now, and that —
He remembers, as if his brain has decided that he needs the reminder, that his parents had died not even four months ago. Alec inhales sharply and looks away from Magnus. “Sorry, I — ”
“No, no,” Magnus assures him, rubbing his thigh. “No apologies, Alexander — ”
Alec lets out a sob at the sound of his name on Magnus’ lips. It’s the first time he’s ever heard Magnus say it since he woke up, and he isn’t prepared for how much it affects him. More tears fall and Magnus surges up to wrap his arms around Alec, who sinks into them gratefully.
“New inspiration?” Alec asked as he entered the apartment to find Magnus on the dining table with a sketchbook, and various ripped pages scattered all over both the table and the floor.
“More like no inspiration,” Magnus replied with a sigh. “My client hated all the things I showed her, and I need to come up with something now before I have to go to work tomorrow. And I just found out that the store I was talking to wasn’t interested in carrying my collection anymore, so I — ”
Alec pulled Magnus up to stand and held his face with both hands. “Hey, hey, look at me.”
Magnus offered him a sheepish smile, and Alec could see some of the stress leave Magnus in the way his brow smoothed out. “I’m sorry,” said Magnus. “Welcome home, husband.” He closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss.
“Thank you, husband.” Alec replied as they pulled away. “But I just need you to know that I’m proud of you.”
The snort and eyeroll didn’t come as a surprise to Alec, who continued to smile at him. “How can you be?” Magnus asked, searching Alec’s eyes. “I dropped out of law school and a prestigious program to pursue a failed career in fashion. Angel, you deserve better, Alec, maybe I should — ”
He shut Magnus up with another kiss, wanting the tirade of self-doubt to end before it could truly begin. When they parted, Alec let their foreheads rest against each other. “You taught me that there’s more to life than following the path laid out for you.”
“And yet you did exactly that.”
“Because I can work on my dream some other time…or even at the same time.” Alec winked; smile wide and eyes sparkling. “We’ll wait for you to be big and successful, and then I can become the pretty trophy husband to mega fashion designer Magnus Bane and write poems and novels that are basically just little love letters for the love of my life.”
Magnus scrunched up his nose, and Alec kissed it before he pulled away. “Love of your life? Sounds serious.”
“Oh, you know how it is,” Alec shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “You meet in uni, dance around each other for a while, date the wrong people before you get your shit together and finally decide to marry them.”
“I feel like a few steps were skipped there.” Magnus laughed, stepping back into Alec’s space and wrapping his arms around Alec. “I haven’t made dinner yet,” he admitted. “Want to order something instead?”
“Or we could go out,” suggested Alec. “I’ll even let you get me out of this stuffy suit and into whatever you want.”
The answering bright smile that lit Magnus’ face was enough to soothe whatever worry Alec had about Magnus picking his clothes out. He would do everything for that smile, he couldn’t help but think.