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Like a planet drawn to a solar system, Vi grows closer to Caitlyn, and her own inadequacies have never seemed so prominent.
She is not ashamed of coming from Zaun. She is not doubtful of her strength and agility, her skills and demeanor.
But being around Caitlyn means finding an affinity instead of widening a rift—building a bond rather than subverting an opponent. Vi knows how to fight. She’s been doing it her entire life.
Being with Caitlyn, however, is being vulnerable.
It’s like wading into the open sea without knowing how to swim.
There’s so much she needs to learn, and she’s aware of this when Caitlyn interweaves her fingers with her own, integrating her into a running system, seamless and fitting.
They hold hands a lot these days. It’s a gesture that Vi’s grown comfortable with, despite the unfamiliarity. The callouses on her fingertips carry history: years of handling weapons. They’re permanent marks of wear and tear. Being rough to others means being rough on herself as well.
Her hand feels strange against Caitlyn’s palm. Caitlyn’s skin isn’t unmarried either due to the nature of her work, but her hands are soft in a way only someone who has always lived in comfort would have.
Caitlyn must notice the tension that has seeped into Vi’s body language, because she frowns and turns her gaze towards her, away from the coffee she’s brewing. Her grip loosens a bit, and Vi can’t help but feel her heart drop at that, even though she knows it’s nothing more than a simple offer of space in case she needs it.
“You okay?” Caitlyn asks, and she’s concerned, which means she’s not smiling anymore, and all Vi wants is to see that again.
“Yeah,” Vi says. She knows Caitlyn wants more of an answer than that, though, so she continues. “Just a lot on my mind. It’s not a pressing matter, though.”
Caitlyn looks curious at that. “Anything that’s bothering you is a pressing matter, if you ask me.”
And this is the Caitlyn that’s so compassionate and tender. This is the Caitlyn that Vi can never match up to.
“You can be open with me, Vi,” Caitlyn says, and it’s so sincere that, for all her stubbornness, Vi doesn’t find it in her to withhold her thoughts.
It’s always hard to do that when it comes to her. So she doesn’t resist.
“All of this—having breakfast with you, spending mornings freely—it’s so different from what I’m used to. I’ve never been with someone like this,” she admits.
Caitlyn wouldn’t know what it’s like. Not fully, if she’s never been through such an experience, but she answers with what she does know.
“It’s okay. A lot has changed recently, and it takes a while to adjust. But that just makes the journey more interesting, doesn’t it?” Caitlyn replies, smiling gently at Vi.
It’s a new kind of smile. A soft, content, and serene one. Vi wants to submerge herself in it.
“God. I love you,” Vi mumbles, closing her eyes, and Caitlyn laughs softly in return.
“Love you too,” she reciprocates, the gesture flowing easily and without hesitation, as if it’s second nature for her.
Caitlyn loves fully, unbridled and unashamed, and it’s a sharp contrast to Vi’s own shortcomings. It takes so much from her to express the same thing, but being around Caitlyn makes her want to try.
She wants to love Caitlyn more than anything. Whatever opposing forces that exist can wait.
She presses her forehead gently against her girlfriend’s, pausing for a few seconds. Caitlyn is the one that leans in for a soft kiss.
It’s everything delightful and everything lovely. It makes Vi want to forever remind Caitlyn how pretty she is, bright and all-encompassing. She has so much she wants to say.
And she will have all the time to do it. For Caitlyn, the world can wait.