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If there is anything Espio and Silver are bad at, it is being subtle.
It’s rather endearing in its own way, actually, Vector had conceded quickly enough once the timid grey-furred hedgehog joined their household for good and blossomed in a way that none of them had seen coming, and the chameleon had too. Espio certainly is intelligent, and driven, and adept at finishing their jobs with success - except for one, which brought infinitely better results than the alternative would have… but he also happens to be a terrible flirt, one that spends more time tripping over his own words than suavely seducing his beloved and one that is only barely more adept at coming up with witty comebacks than said beloved is. And if he does have something smooth, it tends to fly over Silver’s head more often than not; Vector cannot deny that watching his two charges exchange silly banter and attempted flirtatious teases provides more entertainment than any good crime novel or children’s cartoon can.
“I’m going to start making dinner,” Espio announces from where he has been resting against the lockers, in the same way he has been doing ever since they moved into this house, always at 5:30 sharp in the afternoon. The only thing that has changed recently is the cuddly psychic that can usually be found in his vicinity, be it napping on the couch or playing with Charmy or using the chameleon as his personal snuggle pillow. Blinking up from where he has been reading his book in the peaceful silence Vector hums; out of all four of them the ninja is the best cook by far, and thus preparing their food tends to fall on his shoulders more often than not. “Anyone have a preference?” the other adds, rolling his shoulders and stretching himself out in the way Vector knows it makes Silver blush.
“I want… macaroni!” Charmy pipes up immediately from where is colouring some papers on the ground, sending Espio his brightest smile and biggest pleading eyes. Vector himself doesn’t care as much as long as the others like it; food is food, and as the lead detective it’s his responsibility to ensure that they have enough of it, or at least Charmy and Silver do. Even if he hates doing the groceries to actually provide things they can cook- but Espio has got them covered even there, and he is grateful for it.
“That works for me, too,” he agrees. “Ya need some help?”
Flicking his tail as he finishes his stretching routine Espio smiles, the same smug smile he also carries when tasked with a mission or when getting his way in a discussion. “I got it,” he assures them as he gets over to the kitchen, though like every other evening his help is not far behind; his ears perking up immediately at Espio’s words Silver jumps up from where he has been studying the sky through their window with the same intrigue as always, gracefully leaping over the couch as he initiates the chase. Though, the hedgehog’s happy squeak is cut off with a yelp as he runs right into the other and nearly makes both of them tumble into the adjacent room, while Charmy very exaggeratedly rolls his eyes and Vector muffles his chuckles. Silver and Espio do this every time the latter is preparing food or changing the sheets or cleaning the house, after all, and it seems to be something the chameleon just can’t get tired of. He’s quite certain that the two lovebirds think they can’t be overheard from the kitchen and the sounds of cooking, but they are remarkably wrong in that regard, and listening in on their silly conversations is both amusing and heartwarming simultaneously.
“Careful, you don’t want to us fall against the stove,” Espio warns, the same warning as every other night spoken in the exact same no-nonsense way that never results in the chuckling psychic actually heeding it.
“Yes, mom, I know. I’ll make sure that won’t happen.”
The sound of a giggling hedgehog getting slapped gently with a towel resounds like it does every time also. “Don’t sass me,” Espio retorts in the same stern voice as always, followed by a purr and a fond sigh, and then a silence that lasts just a bit too long for it to be anything other than a kiss.
That is their usual routine, followed by the noises of both Silver and Espio rummaging through the cabinets and collecting pans and cutlery and food to be prepared, and both Vector and Charmy keep their ears pricked as the former reads his crime novel and the latter draws an elaborate flower in crayon. This is the points where things get interesting, and any topic can pass the revue; from what the day has been like so far to deep-going conversations about morality to worries about the future to how to best commit a murder to their plans for tomorrow to romantic feelings and how they are expressed, and anything inbetween. “Hey, Espio? Do you know what pick-up lines are?” he can hear Silver’s voice rise from above the noise of a pan getting filled with water, and Vector suppresses a fond yet amused eyeroll at the utter cluelessness of both. How either ever figured out they were having romantic feelings, the fact the other reciprocated even more, is a mystery even the head detective of the Chaotix still has not been able to decipher.
“How’d you come up with that all of a sudden?” the chameleon responds with amusement clear in his voice, one set of noises coming to a halt as Vector deduces he’s gently trailing his hand over Silver’s cheek.
“Amy was talking about them the other day, but I don’t understood what she meant,” the frank response comes easily enough. “Are those like, super motivational quotes or something?”
“Not exactly. It’s a phrase or sentence you use when trying to… well, pick someone up. In a romantic way. Uh, when you like that other person- to ask them out, I mean.”
The increasingly-extensive explanations make even Charmy giggle, the bee sharing an amused look with the crocodile as Vector winks at him and gestures to keep their voices down. “Oooohhh… So like, would ‘I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ be a nice one? That’s romantic,” the psychic curiously suggests.
“I do believe they’re a bit more… suave? The whole idea is that you haven’t met each other before, or at least never went out together, so you can’t be too blunt,” Espio tries to explain, the characteristic hissing of the gas resounding for a second as a match gets lit.
“Oh… But we do know each other already.”
“Luckily, yes. But you can tease each other with it, I suppose... So tell me, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Muffling a deep groan in his hands Vector desperately tries to keep his laughter at bay; if anything he should be glad Silver and Espio ended up together, because it’s clear neither would have had any game with other people. “…I’m from the future, not from any heavens,” the unsure response comes after some silence in which he can just feel the confusion on the hedgehog’s face. “But falling does hurt… Oh, oh! I ‘fell’ for you, right? That didn’t hurt, that was amazing. Is that also a pick-up line?”
No words follow other than a quiet chuckle, and as Charmy leers at the half-open kitchen door with his wings flicking suspiciously Vector knows for sure their ninja spy just pressed another kiss to rambling lips. What Espio lacks in words at times he at least can make up for in actions.
“The idea behind that particular one is that the person you’re talking to is an angel, which you are certainly beautiful enough for. I’d ask you if you know CPR because you’re taking my breath away, but-“
“CPR… Isn’t that—Wait, you’re not going to die, right?!”
“-you’ll probably think I’m going to die. I’m fine, tenshi,” Espio’s patient response comes easily enough, overflowing with clearly-audible fondness, followed by a chuckle as Silver squeaks frightenedly and Vector discerns the chameleon is being wrapped up in a warm hug. “Uh- there’s also one about… swimming… Oh, yeah. ‘I want to go swimming, but I’m already drowning in your eyes-‘”
“You’re not drowning! You’re breathing just fine!”
“It’s a hyperbole, small one,” the chameleon laughs in full as Vector poorly muffles his own laughter and Charmy just blinks confusedly.
If anything, Silver is clearly equally confused, because he sighs deeply and dramatically and Espio grunts a little in the way he does when the hedgehog is holding on to him tightly. “I don’t like pick-up lines when you say you’re going to die when you’re actually not…”
“Well, there’s many out there that do not focus on alleged death, but I don’t really know them that well. Could you pass me the salt?”
“Here. You really don’t know any other? They don’t make sense to me,” the hedgehog responds frankly, the cooking noises slowing down as the macaroni gets stirred around.
Espio chuckles at that. “And I don’t hang out in circles where pick-up lines are commonly used.”
“You hang out with Vector.”
“So do you, small one.”
“Oh. That’s true, yeah.”
“…But let’s not ask him for any pick-up lines. He probably only knows bad ones, anyway.”
“Which means you know better ones, hmm?”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
Narrowing his eyes at the kitchen door Vector bristles, beyond insulted by this assault on his suave, romantically-inclined person. He could come up with a dozen better pick-up lines on the spot if he got asked about it-! but he can’t interrupt and have Silver and Espio figure out they are being listened into, if the two unsubtle lovebirds still have not figured that out. The crocodile is rather sure they haven’t. “Ah… ‘Aside from being cute, what do you do for a living?’ is also one,” the conversation meanwhile continues undisturbedly, and any annoyance Vector might have felt gets swept away by just how bad Espio is at this.
“I work here, Es. You know that.” A soft chuckle follows as Silver huffs offendedly. “You asked me to join yourself, even! Did you forget or something?!”
“I know, my love. I’m just teasing,” his beloved responds calmly. “There’s plenty more of them, those are just the only ones I happen to know. I honestly have no idea if they’re considered romantic or not… I’d say it depends on the person you tell them to, really. Watch out you don’t burn yourself on the pan.”
“I’ll be careful. But, Espio? Pick-up lines are kinda useless, in that case,” Silver’s merciless judgement comes as the chameleon only laughs in response.
“Maybe they’re very romantic, but we’re both just bad at them.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t need no heavens and death to tell you I love you. Because I do love you, Espio. Like a lot. Like a whole galaxy. Like this much.”
Tumbling back into the living room with his usual subtlety -which is to say, none- Silver stretches his arms out as wide as he can, the dishes and cutlery he is carrying shrouded in cyan as he beams at the chameleon following him with oven mitts and a steaming pan of food in his hands. “That’s indeed a lot,” Espio smiles with a fond roll of his eyes as the pot is placed on their coffee table, the plates following soon after as Charmy jumps up with a whoop and crashes onto the couch.
“It could be more, though…” With a suspicious frown Silver focuses his eyes on the crocodile. “Vector?”
Understanding what the other is hinting at the crocodile spreads his own arms wide, careful to not accidentally smack any walls or cabinets as he stretches his fingers out as far as he can. “Did you perchance mean this much?”
“Yes, that much,” Silver agrees as Espio tries to fix Vector in an unamused glare, before he falters and a smile breaks through on his face as the crocodile grins also.
“Stop being silly, you two. The food is getting cold.”
“And then it’ll be icky!” Charmy protests, trying to scoop a spoonful of sticky macaroni onto his plate as Espio whirls around and basically throws himself at the bee to help out, though Vector figures it is more to prevent any of the kernels from soiling their already-tatty rug than worry that the young child cannot provide for himself. As he glances at Silver from the corner of his eyes he can barely suppress another chuckle, the hedgehog looking at the chameleon with a tiny smile and a blush clear on his face before he jolts up from the thoughts he had sunken into and flies over to land on the couch also. Another kiss is pressed to a purple crest, and as Vector sits down last his eyes trail over the sight of a long tail loosely wrapping itself around a cyan-adorned hand before he moves his gaze to the food, not wishing to stare and make the two lovebirds uncomfortable. Yes, what Silver lacks in subtlety he makes up for in genuineness and affection, and Espio in his small actions and words- even if his pick-up line game can use a lot of work.
Quietly the group of four focuses on eating their food, the crocodile occasionally sending glances to Espio and Silver as the chameleon balances his food and eats with one hand so he can use the other to hold the hedgehog’s, and cyan swirls move through the air to feed the psychic. “I wanna come up with a pick-up line,” Silver speaks up all of a sudden. “Something cute, that doesn’t involve dying.”
Feigning innocence the crocodile blinks. “Where’s that coming from, kid?”
“Espio doesn’t know any good ones, and he says you don’t know any good ones either,” the merciless response comes. “So then it is left to me to think up something.”
“What about me?!? I can think up pick-up lines!” Charmy complains immediately.
“Well, do you know any, then?”
“…No. Only the ones Espio told you. With the heaven and the swimming and stuff.”
“That doesn’t help,” Silver sighs, Vector quickly averting his eyes from the suddenly very suspicious glance sent his way from beside the hedgehog on the couch. “Uh, it needs to have something I like to compare to Espio… Like the stars, or a blue sky, or something?”
Narrowed eyes not leaving the two other people in the room Espio flicks his tail. “That would work, except I’m not blue, tenshi.”
“You’re like a purple sky, then. Almost never seen, and yet completely gorgeous. And breath-taking. And loving! Can skies be loving?”
“I’m sure they can, kiddo,” Vector answers for Espio, the chameleon’s face assuming the stoic grimace indicating he is focusing very hard on camouflaging away his blush and flickering of his scales.
Smugly the psychic crosses his arms, a delighted grin on his face and playful lights dancing in his eyes. “Then it’s settled. You’re my purple sky with thousands of stars and galaxies in it, because I love you.”
To Silver’s credit, it is clear Espio has inwardly all but transformed into a mushy purple puddle oozing love and adoration, the chameleon turning his head to hide against the other and his whole body getting enveloped in a more light pink. It honestly is not even that bad of a pick-up line- not because it’s so effective in itself, but because Vector sees no way how anyone being told such a phrase by the eager little hedgehog can not immediately melt and start cooing over him. “You’re silly, my love,” the chameleon protests all the same, an arm getting wrapped around his body as Silver pulls him close.
“And you’re wonderful and you deserve to have sweet pick-up lines told about you even though we do know each other already and we’ve also gone out before too.” Teasingly the hedgehog noses his beloved's muzzle as Charmy eats his macaroni with no small amount of narrowed eyes and suspiciously-flicking wings, though Vector only laughs and laughs some more at the two sets of golden eyes meeting his at his noisiness.
“Both of you are silly at this rate. Let me handle the pick-up lines next time.”
“Chaos, Vector, don’t make this worse for me. You’re making him too powerful,” Espio sputters back, scales almost returned to their usual purple- and then Silver presses a kiss against his cheek and he falls silent again with colours dangerously waning, and Vector merely shakes his head as he focuses on finishing his dinner and letting the two others be for now. No, Silver and Espio are terrible at being subtle, though it does not come as a surprise with how infatuated they are with each other. At least they figured out a way to make things work between them in their actions and words, which the crocodile deems more important. If they are happy, he is happy too.
But perhaps, if only to fluster the easily-flustered chameleon even further, he should teach Silver some good pick-up lines all the same.