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INT. HAPPY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
After Peter is done face-timing with MJ, we hear a TAPPING at the window.
HAPPY
Who's that?
Peter glances out the window.
PETER
It's Doreen!
He starts to crawl out the window.
HAPPY
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
PETER
I'll be right back!
He crawls up to the roof, where Doreen is sitting.
(Beat)
DOREEN
So, this sucks. Ass.
PETER
Beck got you too?
DOREEN
Yup. It's not as big of a story, though. Looks like Spider-Man's beating Squirrel Girl in the popularity polls. Which I guess I should be grateful for, but... it still kinda hurts, to be honest.
PETER
Oh... sorry about that.
DOREEN
They're calling me your "accomplice" in Mysterio's murder. So that's fun.
PETER
Well, my lawyer said that he doesn't think any of the charges against me will stick, so that means you should be off the hook too. Did you get a lawyer yet?
DOREEN
Yeah, uh...
(She glances at her phone.)
"Jennifer... Walters"? I hear she's good. Dr. Banner recommended her, so...
Peter glances at her hair, and notices that it is significantly shorter than before.
PETER
Did you cut your hair?
DOREEN
Yeah, I figured that and hiding my tail would help make me a little less recognizable out in public.
PETER
But... if you go out with short hair as Squirrel Girl, then everyone's still gonna know it's you anyway.
(Beat)
DOREEN
I think I need to take a break from Squirrel Girl.
PETER
What?
DOREEN
Just for a while, until all this burns out. It's... just way too much for me to handle right now.
PETER
Oh...
(Beat)
You must have it so much worse. I mean, I only got my powers a couple years ago, but you were born like that. I can't imagine having to hide who you are for your entire life.
(Beat)
DOREEN
I've never been ashamed of who I am... But it's just... College was the first time in my life that I ever felt... normal. I had friends... like, actual, human being friends... No offense, Tippy.
Tippy-Toe squeaks, as if to say, "none taken."
DOREEN
I felt like I really belonged somewhere for once... I wanted the chance to just be Doreen... even for just a little bit longer... And now it's gone.
(Beat)
PETER
Doreen, I am so sorry I got you wrapped up in all this-
DOREEN
Hey, hey, don't. I would do it all over again. I will always be here to help you. And I'm not just saying that as your co-worker; I'm saying it as your friend. Okay?
Peter nods.
PETER
Thanks.
(He sighs.)
It's my first day of senior year tomorrow...
DOREEN
That'll be fun.
PETER
Now I gotta start applying to college. I'm so freaked out; I want to get into MIT so badly...
DOREEN
I mean, hey, if that doesn't work out, there's always...
PETER
...Empire State, yeah, yeah, I know.
DOREEN
Did you at least apply?
PETER
Yeah. I did. For your sake.
DOREEN
Thanks. I'm just teasing, though. I hope MIT works out for you.
(She stands up.)
Alright, I gotta get going. Hey, let me know if anyone gives you a hard time tomorrow so I can beat them up for you. Because I will do it!
She leaps off into the night.
EXT. BRIDGE - DAY
After Doc Ock appears, Peter begins fighting him. Doc Ock uses one of his tentacles to choke Peter. Suddenly, Doreen shows up wearing a new red and silver vibranium suit. She knocks Doc Ock's tentacle away, freeing Peter.
PETER
Thanks! Hey, I thought you said you were taking a break!
DOREEN
Yeah, well, that was before you almost got yourself killed by Mr. Tentacles over here!
They start running towards Doc Ock.
PETER
That's a cool new suit! Is that vibranium?
DOREEN
Can we talk about this later, please?!
DOC OCK
Well, well, well, Peter, did you get yourself a new girlfriend?
PETER
Wha-huh?! No, no, no, she's not my...
DOREEN
He's in high school; I'm in college. That's just weird...
Suddenly, the vice chancellor's car starts to collapse.
PETER
U-Uh... I'm coming, ma'am!
He rushes towards the car. Doc Ock starts to go after him, but Doreen blocks him.
DOREEN
Wait!
(Beat)
Did you know that 11 is 3 in binary?
(Beat)
DOC OCK
What?
DOREEN
Yeah! See, to count in binary, you start with 0, then you go to 1. Then, to add another digit, you go from 1 to 10, since 1 is your last counting number. So instead of 1, 2, 3, it's 1, 10, 11-
DOC OCK
Yes, I know how to count in binary, you annoying little-
DOREEN
Let's add more digits! Count it with me! 100, 101, 110... See?! We're learning so much today!
Doc Ock shoves her out of the way with his tentacle and heads for Peter.
DOREEN
Oh, shit...
She rushes towards Doc Ock and smacks him with her tail. He grunts and grabs her with one of his claws, but she wriggles out. Peter uses his tentacles to prop himself up as he holds onto the Vice Chancellor's car with his web. He leaps down to her.
PETER
Ma'am? Stay calm! Are you okay?!
VICE CHANCELLOR
No!
Doc Ock suddenly yanks Peter away with his tentacles.
PETER
I'm coming! I've... got this all under control...
Doreen battles a few of Doc Ock's tentacles while Peter struggles with the other half. Doc Ock suddenly pins Peter to the underside of the bring and yanks off the chest piece of his suit. We hear a mechanical voice from the suit.
VOICE
Suit compromised.
Doc Ock examines the piece as he incorporates it into his tentacles.
DOC OCK
Nanotechnology... You've outdone yourself, Peter... I underestimated you... But now, you die.
DOREEN
No!
Before she can stop him, Doc Ock tries to stab Peter, but his suit protects him, and his face is revealed. Doc Ock scowls and brings Peter closer to him, taking his glasses off.
DOC OCK
You're not Peter Parker...
Peter groans.
PETER
I am so confused right now...
One of Doc Ock's tentacles suddenly starts moving.
DOC OCK
What's happening?
VOICE
New device detected.
A holographic image of Doc Ock's tentacles pops up on Peter's wrist. Peter begins tapping a few buttons.
VOICE
Pairing new device.
Peter begins moving Doc Ock's tentacles.
DOC OCK
You don't listen to him; you listen to me!
Peter begins waving his hand around as the tentacles follow his movements. He and Doreen laugh.
PETER
Hey!
He starts making the tentacle wave, and uses it to bring the Vice Chancellor's car back up to safety. Doc Ock tries to strike Peter with his hand, but Peter dodges. Doreen grabs Doc Ock's hand.
DOREEN
Uh-uh. I don't think so, pal.
Doc Ock growls in frustration as Peter rises.
DOC OCK
Hey. Hey! Listen to me! No, not him! Me!
Peter brings the car to the ground and Doreen opens the door.
PETER
Ma'am, you okay? Come on, you can still make your flight!
The vice chancellor glances at him in shock.
VICE CHANCELLOR
Peter... You're a hero.
PETER
No, well, I mean... no, I'm...
VICE CHANCELLOR
I'm gonna talk to admissions about your friends... and I'm gonna talk to them about you.
Doreen grins at Peter.
PETER
Wait, ma'am, ma'am, this isn't about me...
DOREEN
Peter, Peter, let the nice lady talk...
VICE CHANCELLOR
I am going to talk to them about your friends and you. Okay?
PETER
Really?
VICE CHANCELLOR
And if you keep your noses clean, maybe you'll have a fair shot. Here.
(She tosses her purse at Peter.)
Get out of the way. Let me get that man.
(She barges towards Doc Ock.)
You! I see you... Come here! That was not okay... Unbelievable...
Doreen smirks. Peter approaches Doc Ock.
PETER
Who are you-
Before he can finish his question, Doc Ock tries to punch him.
PETER
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Can you stop trying to kill me?
(He opens his pocket.)
I'm in control, buddy. Of this whole... tentacle situation you got going on here. Okay? Now who are you? What is going-
Peter's spider-sense suddenly goes off, and he turns away.
DOREEN
Peter... You're making the face. I don't like when you make that face; what's going on?
One of the Green Goblin's bombs suddenly lands on the bridge. Peter and Doreen jump as it goes off. The GREEN GOBLIN suddenly flies in, cackling.
DOC OCK
Osborne?
DOREEN
What is he wearing?!
As the Green Goblin flies in, one of Dr. Strange's portals sends Peter to the undercroft, leaving Doreen behind.
INT. SANCTUM SANCTORUM - DAY
Peter walks in with Doreen, MJ, Ned, and Nancy, who is wearing a hand-knitted sweater that reads "I <3 MY CAT."
NED
Whoa... I can't believe I'm in the Sanctum Sanctorum...
STEPHEN
Neither can I...
NED
So... How did you know you were made of magic? Because my Nana says that we have it in our family, and sometimes I get these tinglings in my hands...
STEPHEN
You should talk to your physician.
MJ
Peter! Hey!
PETER
Hey!
They hug.
PETER
I'm so sorry for dragging you into this. You just gotta help me find these guys...
MJ
Peter, you don't have to apologize, okay? You got us a second shot at MIT.
NANCY
So, what exactly is going on here?
STEPHEN
He screwed up a spell trying to get his friends into college.
NED
Wait, you did that with magic? I thought you talked to the vice chancellor...
PETER
Yeah, that was after... Look it doesn't matter-
NANCY
What do you mean you "screwed up" the spell? What happened?
STEPHEN
We started bringing in people from other universes.
Doreen's eyes widen.
NANCY
O-Other universes? As in, like, the multiverse?
STEPHEN
Yes.
NED
Whoa... That's so cool...
STEPHEN
And dangerous. I've read up on all kinds of different dimensions, alternate versions of reality, but the multiverse is one big gray area. So the best thing to do is-
DOREEN
I might... actually be able to shed some light on all this. The... the multiverse, I mean...
Stephen raises an eyebrow.
DOREEN
I think the Peter these guys are looking for is from an alternate timeline. So... he's you, but he's also not you.
Peter stares blankly at her.
DOREEN
Okay, that didn't really make any sense, um... How do I explain this...?
We cut to later, where Doreen is drawing on a whiteboard as the others watch. She draws out the main timeline.
DOREEN
So... We are on what is considered the main timeline. But...
(She begins drawing out branch timelines.)
Sometimes, things can happen that aren't supposed to happen. These are called Nexus Events, and they create branch timelines. Now, in these timelines, there can be alternate versions of people on the main timeline called "variants."
PETER
So... You think the "Peter Parker" these guys are looking for...
DOREEN
... is a variant of you. Yes. And variants can have slightly different lives, different appearances, but they are all still fundamentally the same entity. So, MJ, in an alternate universe, another version of you could be... say, a white chick with red hair.
MJ raises an eyebrow, and Doreen shrugs.
DOREEN
I'm just throwing some examples out there.
STEPHEN
So, how do you know all of this?
DOREEN
Uh... Funny story... So, uh... After my identity got leaked, I kind of had a bit of an internal crisis... You know, as one does, so I may or may not have hacked into Tony's time travel machine to go to the 1970's...
STEPHEN
I'm sorry, what?
DOREEN
I was careful! I just wanted to get away for a little bit... Anyway, so, I called my friend Loki for a little bit of help, and, um... it turns out he wasn't actually supposed to still be alive, so he kind of caused a nexus event... Um... and he got arrested by these people called the TVA...
NED
The... TVA?
DOREEN
Yeah, it was their job to eliminate branch timelines and maintain the main one.
(She erases a few of the branch timelines she drew.)
And they did that by capturing variants like Loki. Now... to erase the branch timelines, they would either erase the variant's memory and force them to work for them, or... they would send them to die.
MJ
Wow... That sounds... awful.
DOREEN
It was. Which is why Loki destroyed them.
Everyone stares at her in shock.
DOREEN
So now...
(She gestures to her diagram of the multiverse.)
The multiverse is open... Yay...
Doreen puts her marker down and joins the rest of the group.
STEPHEN
I'm sorry... You're telling me all of this is happening because you and your little god of mischief friend decided to mess around with the very fabric of reality?
DOREEN
Hey, don't throw all of the blame on us! You still cast that spell to bring all these guys here! And besides, the TVA took away people's free will, so destroying it was the right thing to do.
STEPHEN
And in doing so, you've unleashed something far more dangerous. Besides, since when does Loki ever want to do the right thing?
DOREEN
Hey, Loki might be a dick sometimes, but he's not a monster!
NANCY
To be fair, she does also think Loki's super hot.
DOREEN
Wha... Um... N-No I don't...
NANCY
You were literally sketching pictures of him in lecture the other day-
Doreen quickly covers Nancy's mouth.
DOREEN
Shut up, Nancy...
(Beat)
STEPHEN
I need an aspirin...
EXT. FOREST - NIGHT
Peter and Doreen hunt for Electro and Sandman while MJ, Ned, and Nancy watch from the undercroft. As Peter and Doreen walk around, we suddenly see a quiet FLASHING behind Doreen. She slowly turns around to see ELECTRO beginning to charge up. Startled, she tries to whack him, but he only fries her tail. Peter whirls around as she gasps.
DOREEN
He singed the fur... NOBODY SINGES THE FUR!!!
Electro begins to shoot electricity as Peter and Doreen dodge while MJ, Ned, and Nancy yell instructions at them.
PETER
Guys! This is NOT HELPING!
Doreen yelps as Electro shocks Peter with a blast and he falls to the ground. Before Electro can shock Peter again, the SANDMAN shows up and blocks it.
PETER
Whoa!
SANDMAN
Peter! It's me! Flint Marko! You remember?
PETER
U-Uh, I'm Peter, but I'm not your Peter...
SANDMAN
What do you mean, you're not my Peter? What the hell is going on?
(He turns to Doreen.)
And who's she?
Doreen gives an awkward wave.
DOREEN
Hello...
PETER
I'll explain everything, but first, can you help me stop this guy?
SANDMAN
Okay!
PETER
You try to surround him, and we'll pull the plug! Let's go!
Sandman surrounds Electro while Peter uses his webs to knock down the transmission towers. Meanwhile, Doreen's squirrels begin chewing on the lines.
DOREEN
Hey, guys, careful! Don't get-
Before she can finish her sentenced, one of the squirrels gets shocked, causing its fur to stand up on end.
DOREEN
...shocked...
She holds the squirrel in her hand.
DOREEN
You okay?
The squirrel chirps and nods as she smooths down its fur.
SANDMAN
I can't hold it much longer!
Finally, Peter and Doreen are able to bring the towers down, causing Electro to lose his electricity. Peter takes off his mask.
SANDMAN
Different Peter. Weird.
PETER
Thanks.
He tries to high-five him, but accidentally takes his hand off.
PETER
Sorry.
SANDMAN
Don't worry about it.
Electro wakes up, now naked and back in his human form.
DOREEN
Gah!
She shields her eyes. Electro examines the few sparks left flowing from his hands.
ELECTRO
I got my body back...
PETER
Hey, um... This is gonna sound really crazy, but, uh... This isn't your universe.
ELECTRO
Another universe?
PETER
Uh-huh.
SANDMAN
What?
ELECTRO
That's what I was feeling... The power... It's different... I like it...
His eyes start to glow.
SANDMAN
Easy, buddy...
PETER
It's actually my fault that you're here...
ELECTRO
The universe? Or the woods? I hate the woods...
PETER
I meant the universe... sir.
ELECTRO
So what? Y'all just gonna stand there and act like I ain't butt-ass naked?
SANDMAN
I am.
DOREEN
Nope, I've been trying very hard not to look at you for the past minute...
Peter tosses some clothes to Electro.
DOREEN
Okay, Peter, why don't you... uh, take care of them? We'll take care of the transmission towers. That we just destroyed.
The squirrels sulk.
DOREEN
Don't give me that, guys, come on! We don't want people to blame this on Peter again...
INT. THE UNDERCROFT - DAY
Peter and his friends are talking with the villains, who realize that they will die if they return to their universes. Doctor Strange reappears in the undercroft, holding the box. Norman turns to him.
STEPHEN
Oh, great. You caught another one.
PETER
No, no, no, wait! Strange, he's not dang-
Before he can finish, Strange transports Norman to one of the cells.
PETER
It's okay, um...
(He frowns when he glances at the box.)
What is that?
STEPHEN
It's an ancient relic. The Macena Acadavis. It trapped your corrupted spell inside, and once I finish the proper ritual, it will reverse the spell, and send these guys back to their universes.
DOC OCK
And then what? We perish?
ELECTRO
Nah, no thanks. I'll pass on that.
NORMAN
Let me out of here! Peter!
(Beat)
PETER
Strange. We can't send them back. Not yet.
STEPHEN
Why?
(Beat)
PETER
Well, some of these guys are gonna die.
STEPHEN
Parker... It's their fate.
Doreen looks aghast.
DOREEN
Their "fate"? You know what you sound like? The TVA told me the same thing.
STEPHEN
Yeah, well, maybe your little "TVA", whoever they are, were right. You and Loki brought chaos to the multiverse all because you can't accept that there are some things that you just can't change.
DOREEN
That's bullshit, Stephen. Everyone can change.
Stephen shakes his head.
STEPHEN
Not everyone.
(Beat)
I'm sorry. If they die, they die.
He begins the spell to open the box. Peter looks at his friends nervously.
NORMAN
Peter!
Before Strange can finish the spell, Peter uses his webs to grab the box.
INT. THE UNDERCROFT - DAY
After Peter defeats Strange, he runs back through the portal. Ned, MJ, Doreen, and Nancy rush up to him.
NED
Dude, what happened?!
DOREEN
Are you okay?!
PETER
I just had a fight with Dr. Strange, and I totally won!
NED
What?!
Peter holds up the sling ring.
PETER
Look, and I stole his ring thing!
Ned takes it.
NED
Whoa!
Peter takes off his mask.
PETER
Uh... We went through the city and then I went through this massive mirror thing... and then I was back in-
MJ
Where is he?
PETER
Uh, he's trapped, but I'm not sure for how long...
Nancy laughs.
NANCY
Oh, you're definitely screwed when he gets back...
DOC OCK
You could've just left us to die... Why didn't you?
(Beat)
MJ
'Cause that's not who he is.
Peter smiles at her, then turns back to the villains.
PETER
I think I can help you guys...
DOREEN
Yeah! It sounds like you guys were all the victims of science experiments gone wrong, so... if we can fix what happened to you, then maybe when you go home, you'll have a second shot!
ELECTRO
What do you mean, "fix us"?
PETER
Look, our technology is advanced. I-
NORMAN
I can help you. You know, I'm something of a scientist myself. Octavius knows what I can do.
DOC OCK
"Fix us"? You mean like a dog? I refuse.
DOREEN
Oh, come on, Otto! It'll be fun! Science is always fun!
Doc Ock scowls at her.
PETER
I can't promise you guys anything... but at least this way you actually get to go home and have a chance. A second chance! I mean, come on, isn't that worth trying?
LIZARD
Trust me, Peter. When you try to fix people, there are always consequences.
PETER
I mean, you don't have to come.
(Beat)
I also didn't know that you could talk. But if you stay here... you're gonna have to deal with the wizard.
LIZARD
Ah, so we go along or die. Not much of a choice, is it?
NANCY
I mean... What's the alternative? Being stuck in a random universe you don't know?
SANDMAN
She's right. I just want to go home.
ELECTRO
Well, I myself don't want to be killed, especially by a guy dressed like Dungeons and Dragons, so... what's your plan?
(Beat)
PETER
I... have it all under control...
(He turns back to the others.)
What are we gonna do about this thing?
MJ
Uh... well... we need to... find somewhere safe for it, right?
NED
Yeah...
PETER
(to MJ)
You gotta take it.
MJ
Wait, what?
PETER
If something bad happens, I'll text you, and then you just push this, and then it's all over, and they'll all be gone-
MJ
Peter, we're going with you! We're not gonna leave you!
PETER
You can't come with me! It's too dangerous! You guys have already done enough-
NED
Peter, we're in this together.
PETER
I know that we're in this together, but I can't do this if I know that you're in danger. Okay? So, for me, MJ, please just take this. Doreen and I can find a cure... I need the rest of you to watch over this.
(Beat)
MJ
Okay.
She takes the box.
PETER
Thank you.
MJ
But Peter, I swear, if I don't hear from you, I'm pressing the button.
(Beat)
PETER
Sure.
MJ
Okay.
(She turns to the villains.)
And I will do it...
NANCY
Oh, she will. You don't mess with MJ.
ELECTRO
Yeah, we all believe you, Michelle...
LIZARD
No way that's his girlfriend, no way...
INT. HAPPY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Peter and Doreen enter the apartment with the villains.
DOC OCK
So this is your plan, Peter? No lab, no facilities, just performing miracles in a condominium? Hmm? What, you're gonna cure us and cook us some frozen burritos in a microwave?
DOREEN
Wait, do you actually want some burritos? Because I could make some...
DOC OCK
Will you stop being so irritatingly nice?!
DOREEN
Okay, I was just offering...
We cut to later where Doreen is on the phone in a separate room.
DOREEN
Okay, so... do you think this will work, though? Like, hypothetically, once we send them back?
(Beat)
Yeah, yeah, we're just gonna cure them and then send them back.
(Beat)
Awesome! I knew it! See? The multiverse can stay open, and if any issues come up, we can handle it!
(After a pause, she frowns.)
Hey! It's not "over-confidence"! It's "thinking positively"! You're not getting invited to my graduation party with that attitude!
(She laughs.)
I'm just kidding, Moby, of course you're invited. You still have your tem-pad, right? So traveling to... you know, another universe won't be a problem?
(She smiles.)
Awesome! Thanks, Moby! Oh, and send me more pictures of your jet ski!
She hangs up and heads to the other room, where Peter and Norman are working.
DOREEN
Good news! I just talked to one of my friends from the TVA, and he says that he thinks our plan's gonna work!
PETER
Seriously?! That's great!
DOREEN
You know, if we can cure everybody first...
PETER
Well, we're working on that right now.
After Doc Ock is cured, Doreen checks on Electro to make sure his cure is working. He fidgets uncomfortably.
ELECTRO
Something feels off...
DOREEN
You're not in any pain, are you?
ELECTRO
No, just... I don't like this...
DOREEN
Hey, well, just leave it alone, okay? It'll only take a minute.
Peter's spider-sense suddenly goes off. He walks around the apartment as others ask him what's wrong.
DOREEN
Peter? Peter, are you okay?
ELECTRO
Why are you looking at me like that?
After a pause, he suddenly webs Norman's hand to the wall.
DOREEN
Peter, what are you doing?!
Norman, who has now become THE GREEN GOBLIN, smirks at him.
GREEN GOBLIN
That's some neat trick... That sense of yours...
DOC OCK
Norman?
GREEN GOBLIN
Norman's on sabbatical, honey...
ELECTRO
The hell?
PETER
The Green Goblin...
He glances at Aunt May and Doreen nervously.
GREEN GOBLIN
No more darker half? Did you really think that I'd let that happen?
Doreen slowly starts to unleash her knuckle spikes. Peter grabs her hand as if to stop her. She nods at him.
GREEN GOBLIN
That I'd let you take away my power just because you're blind to what true power can bring you?
PETER
You don't know me.
GREEN GOBLIN
Don't I? I saw how she trapped you... Fighting her holy moral mission... We don't need you to save us... We don't need to be fixed!
(He turns to Electro.)
These are not curses...
Electro looks down in uncertainty.
DOREEN
Max...?
GREEN GOBLIN
They're gifts...
DOC OCK
Norman, no...
GREEN GOBLIN
Lapdog!
PETER
You don't know what you're talking about...
GREEN GOBLIN
I watched you from deep behind Norman's cowardly eyes... Struggling to have everything you want... While the world tries to make you choose... Gods don't have to choose... We take.
PETER
May... run.
All hell breaks loose. As the Green Goblin attacks Peter, Electro uses his powers to shove Doc Ock out the window.
DOREEN
No!
She jumps out the window and grabs him as he falls. He uses his tentacles to clutch onto her as she claws the building walls with her knuckle spikes, trying to slow their fall. Eventually, they land, with a crowd of squirrels holding Doc Ock up.
DOREEN
Are you okay?!
Doc Ock looks at the squirrels in amazement.
DOC OCK
You... saved my life... Thank you...
Doreen smiles.
DOREEN
You don't have to thank me, Otto!
(Beat)
It... is okay if I call you that, right?
Doc Ock smiles.
DOC OCK
That is my name after all... I'm sorry for how cruel I was to you... I wasn't myself...
DOREEN
It's okay! Really, I get it.
They suddenly see Electro escaping and fleeing into the city.
DOREEN
Uh... I should... probably go after him... um...
(She hands him her apartment key and a scrap of paper.)
Here, go to my apartment. It's this address here. You'll be safe there until all of this is over.
DOC OCK
What? But I can help you!
DOREEN
No, please, don't put yourself at risk! Just go! Keep yourself safe!
Before Doc Ock can protest, she rushes off.
INT. NED'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
After Aunt May dies, MJ, Ned, and Nancy are waiting in Ned's apartment. They all jump when they hear a knock on the door. They quickly open it to see Doreen standing there, panting and covered in soot.
DOREEN
I... I lost them... I don't know where they are... They got away-
NANCY
Hey, hey, it's okay...
(She hugs her.)
Just come in.
MJ
Any word from Peter?
DOREEN
No... I... I don’t know... I’m sorry...
(After a pause, she turns to Nancy.)
Oh... I sent Otto to our apartment, so... heads up if there's like tentacle parts lying around, that's why...
Nancy lets out a weak laugh.
NANCY
That's fine, D...
Doreen sighs as she sits down. MJ looks at the box.
MJ
I'm gonna press it.
NED
Wh-What? No...
DOREEN
W-We aren't finished yet-
MJ
I know he told me to wait, but... I'm gonna do it.
NED
I just wish... I just wish we could see him...
A faint hint of a portal suddenly appears in the room. Everyone stands up.
MJ
Ned...
NED
Yeah?
MJ
Do that again...
NED
Yeah...
Ned waves his hands around again.
NED
I just wish we could see him...
A faint portal appears again, then vanishes.
NED
Okay...
(He forms a more complete circle with his hand.)
I just wish we could see Peter...
A portal suddenly opens. We see the outline of SPIDER-MAN...
Ned's Lola gasps.
NED
Whoa...
NANCY
Ned, you did it!
Ned's Lola begins speaking to him in Tagalog.
NED
You're right... I am magic...
MJ squints at the silhouette.
MJ
Is that him?
NED
Yeah, yeah, it has to be...
They begin calling out to him. Everyone suddenly freezes when the Spider-Man that appears is not their Peter, but rather ANDREW GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN. Ned's Lola begins screaming.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Hi...
Ned's Lola begins chucking pillows at him.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay, I'm a nice guy...
He takes off his mask.
(Beat)
MJ
Who the hell are you?
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
I'm Peter Parker...
MJ
That's not possible...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
I am Spider-Man... in my world... but then, yesterday... I was... I was just here...
Doreen gasps.
DOREEN
Ooh, ooh! See?! See?! These are the variants I was telling you guys about!
Garfield's SM walks around the room.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Wow... String theory... Multidimensional reality... And matter displacement... All real?
Doreen and Nancy grin and nod while MJ and Ned look baffled.
DOREEN
Mm-hmm!
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Knew it!
NED
This has to be because of the spell...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
The spell? Like, magic spell?
NED
Uhh, there's no spell...
MJ
There's no spell...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Magic's real in this universe too?
NED
Well...
MJ
Shut up, Ned.
NANCY
I mean, it's complicated...
MJ
Shut up.
NED
I mean, there's not magic magic...
MJ
Shut up!
(She turns back to Garfield's SM.)
Prove it.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Prove what?
MJ
That you're Peter Parker.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
I... don't carry an ID with me... You know, it kinda defeats the whole anonymous superhero thing...
MJ tosses a roll of bread at him and does a defensive pose.
(Beat)
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Why'd you do that?
MJ
I was trying to see if you have the tingle thing...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
I have the tingle thing, just not for bread...
MJ lifts another roll of bread.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Could you not... throw the bread again? You're a deeply mistrusting person... And I respect it.
He jumps up and clings to the ceiling with one hand. MJ does her best not to look impressed.
MJ
Crawl around.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Crawl around?
MJ
Yes.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
No...
MJ
Yes, crawl around.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Why do I need to crawl around?
MJ
'Cause it's not enough.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
This is plenty.
MJ
No it's not.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Yes it is.
MJ
No it's not.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Yes it is.
MJ
No it's not.
NANCY
I mean, honestly? I'm convinced.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
See? She says she's-
MJ tosses another roll of bread at him.
MJ
Do it.
Ned's Lola begins speaking Tagalog again.
NED
My Lola was asking if you could just... get the cobweb up there... Since you're, like, up there...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Yeah, sure!
He crawls to the other end of the ceiling and brushes the cobweb off.
NED'S LOLA
Thank you.
Garfield's SM drops to the ground.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
We good?
MJ
For now.
Garfield's SM looks confused as the portal closes.
NED
So... I opened the wrong portal to the wrong Peter Parker...
MJ
Yeah, I... I guess you just keep doing it until we find the real one.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Ouch.
MJ
No offense.
NED
Okay...
Nancy pats Ned's back.
NANCY
You got this.
Ned starts to open another portal.
NED
Find Peter Parker...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
What's the thing on his hand?
MJ shushes him.
NED
Find Peter Parker... Find Peter Parker!
Another portal opens up and TOBEY MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN steps through.
NED
Great, it's just some random guy...
Maguire's SM waves at them awkwardly.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Hello. Uh... I hope it's okay, I just came through this, uh...
The portal closes.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
It just closed...
(Beat)
MJ
You're Peter...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Yeah... Peter Parker.
(He glances at MJ, Ned, Doreen, and Nancy.)
I've... seen you four...
He glances at Ned's Lola, who waves.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Hi...
(He freezes when he sees Garfield's SM.)
Wait, he's not your friend...
There is a long pause. Suddenly, both Spider-Men flip around and shoot webs at each other. After a pause, they grin.
NED
Wait, so you're Spider-Man too, why didn't you just say that?
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
I generally don't go around... advertising it... it kinda defeats the whole anonymous superhero thing...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
I just said that...
MJ
That's what he just said...
Ned's Lola begins speaking Tagalog again.
NED
My Lola asked-
NANCY
She was asking if you guys could clean up the webs you just shot.
Everyone looks at her in surprise.
NANCY
What? I took a Rosetta Stone course on Tagalog.
Ned looks at her dreamily.
NED
You did?
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Oh, yeah, sorry...
NED'S LOLA
I'm going to bed...
INT. SCHOOL LABORATORY - NIGHT
The Spider-Men and Peter's friends are working on cures for the villains. The other Spider-Men look surprised when Doreen approaches them with baskets full of cookies and other treats.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Uh... wow, what's all this for?
DOREEN
I made you guys some "welcome to our universe" gift baskets!
(She hands them to Garfield and Maguire.)
Peter... and Peter!
(She turns to Holland's SM.)
Uh... Sorry, I didn't make you one... 'Cause, you know, you... already live in this universe.
Garfield's SM looks at Holland's SM in amazement.
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Are all the superheroes in your universe this nice? She's so nice!
DOREEN
Aww, thank you!
We cut to later. Doreen slowly scoots her chair up to Maguire and Garfield.
DOREEN
Um... So... You know, just out of curiosity, um... There wouldn't happen to be any Squirrel Girls in your universe, would there?
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Uh... No, I don't think so...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Not... Not that I know of...
(Beat)
DOREEN
Damn...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
So, how exactly did you get your powers, anyway? Were you, like, bitten by a radioactive squirrel?
DOREEN
Uh, no, I was actually born like this...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Really?
DOREEN
Yeah, altered DNA. The doctors aren't really sure how it happened...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Fascinating...
Ned hands Peter his web cartridges.
NED
Here's your web cartridges.
PETER
Oh, thanks, man.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
What's that for?
PETER
Uh, it's my web fluid. It's for my web shooters. Why?
Maguire's SM shoots webs out of his wrists. Stunned, Doreen glances at his wrists.
PETER
Whoa!
DOREEN
Did that just... come out of you?
Maguire's SM glances at Peter.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
You can't do that, huh?
PETER
No...
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
How on earth does that even...?
Doreen picks up another web shooter.
DOREEN
Is this a spare, or...?
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Oh, no, actually, I made that for you.
Doreen looks stunned.
DOREEN
For me?!
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Yeah! I figured you could be, you know, an honorary Spider-Man! Er... Spider-Woman...
Doreen gasps.
DOREEN
Spider-Squirrel!
She tests out the web shooter and grins.
EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY - NIGHT
Doreen is aiding in the battle, while using her web shooters. When she misses a swing, Garfield and Maguire catch her and lift her up.
DOREEN
Oof! Thanks...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
You're getting pretty good at that!
DOREEN
Really?
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Yeah, you just gotta remember to aim your fingers where you wanna go.
DOREEN
Oh, right, right, right...
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Anyways... ladies first!
GARFIELD'S SPIDER-MAN
Ladies first!
They grin at each other, realizing they spoke at the same time. Doreen uses her web shooters to leap off into the battle.
DOREEN
LOOK OUT, EVERYONE! SQUIRREL GIRL'S GOT WEB SHOOTERS NOW!!! WOO-HOO!
Later, when Maguire's SM is stabbed, Doreen uses a healing spray to close the wound.
DOREEN
Here... This'll close the wound so you don't lose too much blood.
MAGUIRE'S SPIDER-MAN
Oh, thanks.
(He smiles at Holland's SM.)
She really is the nicest.
With Dr. Strange's cape, Ned lands on the ground.
NED
Thank you, Mr. Cape, sir!
(He rushes up to Nancy.)
Nancy! If we die, I just want you to know that I've always had a huge crush on you, but I also respect that you're a career-driven woman who's probably not looking for a relationship right now, but if you ever reach that milestone in your life, just know that I'm always here if you're interested!
Nancy looks bewildered. After a pause, she pats him on the back.
NANCY
Talk to me in, like, five years when it's not weird, okay?
NED
Okay!
Later, when Peter makes his plan, he rushes up to his friends.
PETER
Guys... You're gonna forget who I am...
(Beat)
NED
What?
MJ
Forget who you are? What are you talking about?
(Beat)
PETER
It's okay... I'm gonna come and find you... And I'll explain everything... I'll make you remember me... And it'll be like none of this ever happened... Okay?
MJ
Okay, but wh-what if that doesn't work? What if we can't remember you? I don't... I don't wanna do that...
PETER
I know, MJ...
MJ
There's... There's not something we can do? We can't come up with, like, a plan or something? You know... There's always something we can do...
(Beat)
PETER
There's nothing we can do...
He says goodbye to MJ and Ned, then hugs Doreen and Nancy, who have tears in their eyes.
DOREEN
You'll still come to our graduation, right?
Peter smiles tearfully.
PETER
I wouldn't miss it for the world...
Nancy lets out a tearful laugh.
NANCY
You can be that one weird guy that shows up even though nobody knows who you are...
They all let out a weak laugh.
(Beat)
PETER
I guess I'll see you...
EXT. EMPIRE STATE UNIVERSTIY - DAY
Peter waits in the crowd at Doreen and Nancy's graduation. He sees Nancy cheer as Doreen walks across the stage to collect her diploma. He smiles when he sees some students holding up a sign that reads "WE'RE NUTS FOR SQUIRREL GIRL!"
Later, Peter tries to approach Doreen while she's chatting with her family and Nancy.
PETER
Doreen! Uh... Doreen Green! Squirrel Girl?
Doreen glances at him, then turns back to her family.
DOREEN
Would you guys excuse me for a moment?
(She walks up to Peter.)
Excuse me, sir, this is really not a good time. I'm with my family, and I-
PETER
No, no, no, no... I don't want to bother you or anything... I just, um... I just wanted to say congratulations on graduating.
DOREEN
Oh... Uh, thank you...
PETER
I'm... actually an incoming freshman here, so...
DOREEN
Oh... Oh, awesome! Um... Okay, if you want my advice, stay away from Birch Dining Hall. My friend Nancy found dirt in her salad there once.
PETER
Oh... Ew, that's gross.
He laughs a little.
DOREEN
Yeah. Your best bet is Maple. They make a bomb-ass mac and cheese.
PETER
Oh, uh... Thanks for the advice.
Doreen smiles.
(Beat)
PETER
Um... I just wanted to say... I could never do what you do... I mean... being Squirrel Girl... while everyone knows who you are... I know things might get harder for you... and some people don't see you as a hero... but you should know that you are. This city needs people like you. And... there's always someone out there who believes in you.
Doreen looks touched.
DOREEN
Thank... thank you... Really, I... I don't think you know how much that means to me...
Peter smiles.
PETER
I think I have some idea... And...
(Beat)
I know Tony's proud of you for keeping your promise.
DOREEN
Thank...
She pauses, surprised. Before she can say anything else, Peter walks off. She looks down, contemplating for a moment, before walking away.
