Chapter Text
5.34 pm: New Group - Gen X Avengers
Harley Keener - 5.34 pm: No
Cassie Lang - 5.34 pm: Yes
Lila Barton - 5.35 pm: No
Peter Parker - 5.35 pm: Yes
Wanda Maximoff - 5.36 pm: No
Shuri - 5.36 pm: Yes
Cooper Barton - 5.36 pm: No
Cassie Lang - 5.37 pm: Now that we’ve done the roll call let’s move on
Lila Barton - 5.37 pm: We all literally just met
Cooper Barton - 5.37 pm: At a funeral
Shuri - 5.37 pm: You really want to talk to the oldies?
Peter Parker - 5.38 pm: Those oldies are literally ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’.
Shuri - 5.38 pm: Yet they don’t understand memes
Peter Parker - 5.38 pm: Valid
Cassie Lang - 5.39 pm: My dad keeps hugging me, like, really strongly
Cassie Lang - 5.40 pm: Not that I’m complaining but he wasn’t always this huggy
Lila Barton - 5.40 pm: Huggy?
Cooper Barton - 5.40 pm: Tbf you did age five years in the span of five hours from his perspective
Lila Barton- 5.41 pm: Dad’s the same, but he keeps doing it to Wanda as well and I don’t think she knows how to cope with it
Wanda Maximoff - 5.41 pm: I’m right here you know
Lila Barton - 5.41 pm: And?
Peter Parker - 5.42 pm: Imagine having a father figure to hug you
Shuri - 5.42 pm: Same
Wanda Maximoff - 5.42 pm: My dad is also dead
Wanda Maximoff - 5.42 pm: And my mum
Wanda Maximoff - 5.42 pm: and my brother
Wanda Maximoff - 5.43 pm: And my boyfriend
Peter Parker - 5.43 pm: My parents and uncle are all dead as well
Shuri - 5.43 pm: My cousin tried to kill my brother and take control of Wakanda only to die himself.
Shuri - 5.43 pm: And he only did this because my dad killed his dad years and years ago
Peter Parker - 5.44 pm: Yeah but you still have a mom
Lila Barton - 5.44 pm: This escalated quickly
Cassie Lang - 5.44 pm: Do you guys need help?
Peter Parker - 5.45 pm: No
Wanda Maximoff - 5.45 pm: No
Harley Keener - 5.45 pm: They mean yes
Peter Parker - 5.46 pm: Fuck you Keener
Harley Keener - 5.46 pm: Lookout, Nick Fury is walking towards you
Peter Parker - 5.46 pm: Someone hide me
Spider-Man @bugboy - 6.01 pm
No one realises how small cleaning cupboards are until you have to hide in one
- Ava Long @newyorker6745
How is this the first post from him in five years?
Gen X Avengers
Cooper Barton - 6.43 pm: What happened with Peter in the end?
Lila Barton - 6.44 pm: He’s with me, we’re hiding in a cleaning closet to avoid Uncle Nick
Peter Parker - 6.44 pm: UNCLE NICK?!
Cassie Lang - 6.44 pm: Did you seriously not check his social media first @Cooper Barton?
Cooper Barton - 6.44 pm: We’re getting off-topic, why are you with him Lila?
Lila Barton - 6.45 pm: (1): That’s none of your business and (2): I wasn’t just going to leave him there to suffer
Shuri - 6.45 pm: While you’re trapped in a closet, @Peter Parker, I do have some scientific questions for you
Shuri - 6.46 pm: 1. Are your webs natural? Or do you make them?
Shuri - 6.47 pm: 2. How strong are you? Have you ever tested it?
Shuri - 6.47 pm: 3. Is your suit StarkTech? Because I can hook you up with some far-cooler vibranium tech
Peter Parker - 6.48 pm: I’ll answer later, gotta go!
Lila Barton - 6.48 pm: He found us
Clint Barton’s Search History:
Sword repairs near me
Yakuza sightings 2023
Graveyards Ohio
What to do if you think your daughter is in a relationship?
Spider reproduction processes
How to tell if your kid is lying
Barton Bros
Wanda Maximoff - 7.30 pm: Lila are you okay?
Lila Barton - 7.34 pm: Dad thinks I’m dating Peter
Cooper Barton - 7.34 pm: But you just met him?
Lila Barton - 7.34 pm: He gave me the talk, again.
Wanda Maximoff - 7.35 pm: Ha
Cooper Barton - 7.35 pm: How’s Peter?
Lila Barton - 7.35 pm: I don’t know, I think everything has been cleared up now though
Gen X Avengers
Peter Parker - 8.09 pm: I take back every nice thing I’ve ever said about the Avengers
Harley Keener - 8.10 pm: Next time get to know them before you make a move
Peter Parker - 8.10 pm: Who wants to help me kill Harley?
Lila Barton - 8.11 pm: Me!
Cooper Barton - 8.11 pm: That’s cute, they’re already on their first date
Peter Parker - 8.12 pm: You’re on thin ice Barton
Cassie Lang - 8.12 pm: Can we just drop this and just tramp up to annoy everyone?
Wanda Maximoff - 8.12 pm: You heard the girl, cut it out
Cooper Barton - 8.13 pm: What’s first on the plan?
Shuri - 8.13 pm: I have the perfect plan
Avengers
War Machine - 8.15 pm: Is everyone staying around for an extra while? There’s some logistics we should organise before everyone leaves and Pepper says she has the space for anyone who needs
Falcon - 8.15 pm: I’ll take that offer
Strange - 8.16 pm: I’ll be fine in New York, I can transport anyone who needs as well
Spider-Man - 8.16 pm: I’ll take a room here if that’s fine with Mrs Potts
Shuri added Shuri to the chat
Shuri has renamed the chat: I prefer the Justice League
Shuri has left the chat
Hawkeye - 8.17 pm: What just happened?
Black Panther - 8.17 pm: She does that sometimes
War Machine - 8.18 pm: I CAN’T CHANGE IT BACK
Shuri @wakandanprincess - 8.30 pm
There’s nothing more gratifying than having the entire Avengers team get confused by modern technology
- Col. James Rhodes @warmachine
I SAID CHANGE IT BACK