Chapter Text
Nagisa didn't believe in soulmates, to put it simply. He knew he probably had one, because that scar on his elbow didn't come from him, and neither did the cut on his ankle, but he lived in denial.
He didn't like to think that the universe had already chosen his specific person for him, and would've preferred to have that choice himself. So he rejected the idea. That was until he was 11. He woke up one night to a burning sensation on his arms. When he looked down, he noticed little pools of blood on his blanket and sheets. His arm was covered in little cuts, small beads of blood coming from each one. He stared at his arms in terrifying fascination as more just kept appearing.
He knew he couldn't just sit there, so he quickly got up, and ran his arms under the cold water of the bathroom sink, hissing at the feeling. Slowly but surely the cuts stopped appearing, and Nagisa was able to bandage his arms and return to his room.
He wasn't able to sleep. What was that?? he thought to himself. There was no denying it now, he had a soulmate, and his soul mate was in desperate need of his help.
This was just over 1 year ago.
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It was the first day of his first year in middle school, and Nagisa wasn't looking forward to it. But then again, why would he? No matter what time of year it was, Nagisa was stuck in a long sleeve shirt, and pants to hide the countless scars that littered his body. He wanted to be angry, but how could he be? It wasn't his fault and it surely wasn't his soulmates either.
He finished getting ready for school, and slipped out of his house without his mother noticing. Before he knew it, he was on the train heading towards Kunigigaoka middle school, the one his mom had forced him to go to.
Nagisa ended up lost in thought throughout the ride, to the point where he almost missed his stop. It was a 10 minute walk from the train station to the school, and before he knew it, he was inside his class, staring straight ahead at the board. That is, until he walked in.
Hair the color of rubies, and eyes that were sunset orange, this was probably the most beautiful boy Nagisa had ever seen before in his life. A beautiful boy, who decided to take a seat right next to him.
Nagisa wasn't sure what washed over him, but he was suddenly compelled to talk this boy. He turned towards him.
"I'm Shiota Nagisa, but you can just call me Nagisa" He slowly stuck out his hand
The redhead looked slightly apprehensive, but took it "Nice to meet you?" It came out sounding more like a question
"Do you have a name or should I just call you Red?"
The boy, Red, sighed and glanced over, leaning his head on his hand" Karma's fine" the action caused his shirt to slide down his arm, exposing a few slightly raised bumps, that looked identical to his
"Hey, this going to sound really weird, but can I see your wrist?" Nagisa's face immediately flushed bright red at the question he was unable to hold back
"What kind of question is- you can't just ask somebody that!" Nagisa didn't miss the way Karma's cheeks were lightly tinged and how he was avoiding eye contact
"I-I'm sorry, I know that was rude" There wasn't a way out of this "it's just that I noticed your wrist a-and-" he was cut off.
Karma scoffed "and what? You think I'm your soulmate?"
"N-no I didn't say that, it's just I'm looking for mine, and I have a similar scar" he lowered his head
"Listen, I don't have a soulmate," Karma leaned back in his chair "and even if I did, they would probably hate me for everything I've put them through"
"O-oh" Nagisa faced forwards, sensing the conversation was over.
Great, he thought, The closest I got to finding them and I blew it
He tried his best to focus after that, listening intently to the teacher talking about her plans for the year. The day went by pretty quickly and before he knew it he was back on the train heading home.
He unlocked the door to his apartment, noticing his mother's shoes weren't there. Good she's not home yet, he thought. He went into his room, and sprawled out on his bed.
He stayed like that until his mother called him out for dinner. He wasn't in the mood for much conversation, and from her body language, he could tell that she wasn't either. They ate mostly in silence until his mom set down her chopsticks
"How was school?" She asked, her voice laced with fake concern.
"It was okay, pretty boring for the first day" he responded. His eyes staring holes through the table.
"I'm sure it'll get more difficult as the year progresses" she then pointed towards his arms "anything new?"
He knew she was talking about the cuts "not for a few days now"
She nodded "good. I'll never understand how a girl could do that to herself"
Of course she assumed his soulmate would be female. He knew better than to argue with her "I'm sure they're just going through some hard times if they feel the need to do that"
She nodded in what looked like agreement "it's ugly Nagisa, someone like that will never be good enough for my precious boy"
You're so superficial. He thought before deciding to excuse himself from the table, no longer hungry. He washed his plate and made his way back to his room, closing the door gently before going back to his position on his bed.
His mind was wandering, and it kept going back to his red haired classmate. It just doesn't make sense, Nagisa thought, If it was just a scar from an accident then he wouldn't have an issue showing me, it has to go deeper than that.
Inevitably exhaustion won, and Nagisa found himself drifting off to sleep.
A few hours later he woke up to searing pain in his thighs. It was the 4th day, which meant fresh cuts. It always happened. Middle of the night on Mondays, like clockwork. This time felt different. Like his soulmate was cutting with purpose, instead of mindless scratching. He pulled his boxers up just enough to take a closer look, and sure enough, the cuts were a lot deeper, full on bleeding instead of the usual beads he was used to.
Knowing the routine he grabbed the towel he kept in his closet for nights like this and crept into the bathroom. He filled the bathtub just above his ankles and sat down, watching in horror as more and more of the deep cuts formed over old scars.
He bit his lip to stop from crying out as he pressed the towel to them. When he removed it, he noticed fresh cuts stopped appearing, but he saw a word carved into his skin.
"カルマ' Karma. He thought back to his conversation from earlier.
"I don't have a soulmate, and even if I did, they would probably hate me for everything I've put them through"
Was he trying to make a point? Nagisa stepped out of the tub, bandaged himself up as best as he could and went back into his room. He put on new boxers and layer back down.
Well Karma, he thought, I don't hate you. I hate what you do to yourself, but I find it impossible to hate you
With that, he drifted off to sleep. He dreamed of sunset eyes, and ruby red hair.