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It was night, a hot and humid one that offered no relief from the relentless summer. Akane had thrown off all but the thinnest of her blankets. She was never an easy sleeper, and tonight was about as bad as it ever got. Rolling over in bed for what felt like the hundredth time, she stewed over the argument she'd gotten into with Ranma earlier in the day. "If I had to be engaged to someone, did it have to be to such a jerk?" she asked herself, yawning.
“Stupid tomboy,” Ranma said, in between wolfing down his rice. It was breakfast before school, and so of course he was in a hurry. “Blah blah blah blah bicker bicker blah.”
“Oh yeah?” Akane dropped her chopsticks and slammed both hands on the table, palms down. “Well that’s fine by me! Whoever said I wanted to be engaged in the first place? Did you ever think of that?”
“Now Akane, I’m sure you don’t mean that.” Kasumi said, ever conciliatory. “Would anyone like some more rice? Ranma? Akane? Pantyhose?”
Akane, caught up in her very meaningful argument with Ranma, blinked with confusion. “Wait, Pantyhose?”
Behind her there was a loud thump and a bellowing roar. She turned to look and indeed there was Pantyhose, posturing menacingly in his monstrous cursed form. He pointed towards her with an enormous hand and roared again. Soun and Genma continued their conversation as Kasumi dutifully scooped rice into a bowl for their unexpected guest.
Nabiki, meanwhile, rolled her eyes. “Not this nonsense again. Sis, it’d be great if you could tell these people not to bother you at home.” After a moment of what would’ve been pregnant silence were it not for the gigantic man-bull shouting and flexing, she continued. “Well? Are you going to take care of him or do you want to finish eating first? No rush.”
“She’s right, Akane,” said Soun, countenance stern. He pulled his fan from his sleeve and pointed it at her. “The honor of the Tendou school demands that you face that beast at once!”
Another roar, and Pantyhose grabbed one of the trees by the koi pond with a tentacle and squeezed, crushing it. “Preferably before he destroys my garden!” Soun added.
Akane sputtered. “Hey, why’s it my job? Shouldn’t Ranma take care of it if he’s so great?”
“My boy against a monster like that? Good one!” Genma laughed out loud and slapped his friend on the back. “I didn’t know your daughter had a sense of humor.”
Kasumi took a sip of her tea and set it down. “Akane, I know you don’t get along that well with Ranma, but as his fiancée it is your responsibility to protect him if he’s in trouble.”
“Ranma? In trouble?” Akane scoffed. “Don’t make me laugh! Ranma is trouble!” She stood up, indignant. “Ever since the day he arrived he’s been nothing but trouble!” She jabbed a finger at the empty air where he’d been sitting a moment before. “And now you’re telling me it’s my responsibility to- where’d he go?”
“Help!” Ranma wailed. Pantyhose held the red-headed girl high up out of reach, wrapped in a tentacle. “Won’t someone save me from this horrible monster?” She squirmed, unable to break free from his grasp.
Akane looked up at the monster, as tall as the house, and then back to everyone else, enjoying breakfast. None of them seemed inclined to do anything about this. “Are you kidding? I can’t fight him, I’ll get creamed!”
Nabiki didn’t bother looking up from her rice. “Oh come on, he’s not that bad.”
“There’s no need to be modest, Akane, we know you can do it,” said Kasumi, waving off her concern as she finished setting the extra place at the table.
Soun only nodded, impassive. “Indeed, Akane, trust in your training.”
“Well, Akane?” Happosai said as he finished his rice and set aside his chopsticks, kicking his feet up on the table, bushy tail swishing lazily. “It looks like everyone’s expecting you to handle it. You wouldn’t want to let them down, would you?”
“What are you talking about?” asked Akane, flabbergasted. “What are all of you talking about? I don’t stand a chance!”
Happosai shrugged, unconcerned. “Oh, I’m sure if you tried you’d surprise yourself at what you can accomplish.” Pantyhose bellowed once more, low and intimidating . “But maybe hurry it up.”
Akane took in everyone’s expectant stares and made her choice. She stood, turning away from the table to face Pantyhose. He was even bigger than she remembered, dwarfing her, the trees around him and looming large over the house. But still, everyone’s eyes were on her.
“Hey, you!” she said, striking a battle pose that she just knew was cool and intimidating, “Why don’t you put her down and just walk away?”
“MOO?” Pantyhose mooed, looking down at her before breaking out in laughter. “MOO!” He dropped into a battle stance of his own and made an unmistakable gesture of challenge. “MOO.”
Akane realized she wasn’t scared. It was silly to think she could have been; what was the big deal? He was just an angry cow with some spare bits. “Oh yeah? I guess that’s that, then.” Without waiting, she charged at him, bounding towards him in great leaping strides. He tried to grab her but he was far too slow and instead she leapt up into the air, high outside his reach.
She hung there for a moment, the city spreading out in every direction. Ryouga was camped out in the park, practicing his newest technique that would beat her for sure this time. Mousse grumbled and muttered to himself as he washed dishes at the Nekohanten, waiting for his next chance to prove to Shampoo that he was the one for her. The Kuno siblings paced the halls of their estate, each stewing on their own delusional crusades. Everywhere she looked, there was someone with a grudge or a scheme or just some wholly nonsensical reason to have a bone to pick with her. Sooner or later they’d be showing up and she’d have to do something.
But as she fell out of the sky like a bolt of lightning, as she dropped Pantyhose with one blow and effortlessly caught Ranma in her arms, as she turned over in her sleep, smiling confidently, she only had one thought:
She had this.