Chapter Text
Tad thought that for the first time he would be able to have a quiet night with the people he called "friends".
He must have guessed not.
When a certain group of students approached him at the end of Applied Chemistry class, he knew he must have suspected they were up to something. Because even though he often talked to them, there was always something that felt wrong.
He didn't know if it was because of their glances, which looked like they were hiding something; or by the tone he perceived in their words. But he dismissed it, because the feeling that everyone hates him was nothing new.
Tad was frustrated by that in his mind: that it played with him to the point of making him believe that even Eli got tired of him sometimes (which Eli always made sure to make clear: "Tad, I could never get bored of you"). He knew that he had a problem and that he was still in the process of solving it; but until then, he would accept this strange casual invitation, from casual people, trying to be casual with him.
(And also because Allan was in the group, being unfairly attractive to be real. But don't let Eli find out because he's going to start playing matchmaker and Tad can't deal with that and college at the same time)
So he texted Eli between classes, saying he wouldn't be home because he was going to a bar with some friends. He got a thumbs up emoji a few minutes later, and Tad could only think "ok boomer" as he rolled his eyes fondly.
The afternoon passed in a flash and the dark sky greeted him as he left the institution. A brief memory popped into his head: when he lived with his parents far away from here among oak trees, raccoons at the door and many stars through his window.
He shook his head and looked back at the now completely empty sky. His friends would soon come...
"Hey, Tad!
Well, speaking of the devil...
...
"Slugterra" glowed in neon colors at the entrance to the small establishment.
It wasn't like in the movies: crazy party going on, crowded with people, bad music playing in the background, people kissing on every corner, and other... things. Actually, it was pretty quiet. The few people there didn't even give them a second glance; conversation flowed naturally in the group and Tad didn't feel left out; besides, by some miracle of life, Allan seemed to notice his existence today.
So yeah, Tad was really enjoying himself tonight.
Until no.
"Have they confirmed how many are coming?" Greg asked of the group, idly looking at his phone.
"I think Matt's whole group is coming, so get ready because we're going to be tight," Oliver replied, taking a sip of his drink.
Tad wanted to ask what the hell they were talking about, but he was too worried about looking nosy to open his mouth. However, the thought of more people he didn't know entering his space set his nerves on edge.
"Oh! Sorry, Tad,” Greg spoke up, remembering the redhead's presence "I forgot to tell you that today was my girlfriend's birthday and we were going to have a little party here. You can stay if you want, you don't mind if more people come, do you?"
Before Tad could fully process the question, he found himself saying "okay".
"What an idiot you are."
...
When Greg said "little party" he meant renting out the bar, inviting more people than could really fit, blasting music, dimming the lights, and generally doing it like in the movies.
"Fuck you, Greg," Tad said out loud because, after all, he couldn't even hear himself.
He cowered in a corner debating whether he should cry here or wait to go home to his very, very, very quiet room. He never liked crowds, noise, darkness, or anything in this place in general.
He couldn't take it anymore and dove into the sea of people, praying to all the gods he didn't believe in to please find his way out of the place.
And he ended up at the bottom of the second floor stairs. Good. Of course. Thank you.
Not wanting to go back the way he came, he started to climb. The bathroom was in the first door on the left and he went in without much thought. It wasn't perfect, but hey, at least here the music and the screaming didn't make his brain rattle.
He turned on the faucet and splashed some water on his face, trying to clear his head a bit. When he looked up at the mirror, he saw a scared, pale, sweaty red-haired boy. For a moment, outside there were no screams of adults acting like teenagers, but the screams of a couple, arguing about something he didn't understand.
Tad blinked and now it was him in the mirror again. Much older, no dark circles under his eyes and a shock of yellow tinted hair that Eli said it looked great.
"Breathe." he breathed in and out, drawing courage from where he no longer had it.
He would make space between people, he would walk out the damn door and walk to his house with his brother waiting for him. It wasn't a big deal, he could do it.
He could do it.
But the bathroom door opened.
"Hey, Tad! I was wondering where you had gone"
It was Allan he found when he turned around.
If it had been any other occasion, he would have smiled at him and tried to make small talk with what few social skills he had. But it was not on any other occasion. He was tired and just wanted to go home. That being the case, he gave him a sneer that would hardly be considered a smile and tried to get out as fast as he could with a brief "sorry, I'm just leaving."
"Wait, wait," Allan replied, grabbing his wrist "Come on, Tad. You can't leave now, the real party is just beginning"
"Sorry, I'm already leaving. See you on Monday"
"I said no"
While Tad was shocked by the abrupt way in which Allan closed the door, the other took the opportunity to throw him to the ground leaving him without a chance to defend himself. Tad shuddered, remembering when his father did that: throw him unceremoniously into the basement after a beating.
"Come on, Tad. You didn't stay until now to just walk away without having tried anything"
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
"Do you think I haven't noticed how you look at me in class? Lucky for you that you're too cute for even me to have considered. Here I am. Let's have some fun"
Tad stared at him not knowing what to say. Was there anything to even say? He just wanted to get out of here and never think about this again.
He felt exposed. He felt humiliated. With what right...? Who gave him permission to...?
“Looks like I have to do everything myself"
Too fast, too close to him, a hand that felt unpleasant touched his clothes, but even so it burned into his skin like a painful fire. He left nasty scabs and ugly burns that only Tad could see on his head. He felt like a child again.
Too scared, too weak to fight back...
No.
Not this time. Not again.
He was no longer a little boy who can't hit back.
He was an adult. Nobody can touch it.
Nobody can hurt him now.
"Don't you fucking dare to touch me!"
There was a struggle, because apparently Allan was not going to back down. Tad struck when he had the chance, perhaps putting in more force than necessary. But he was not sorry. He wanted Allan to suffer, he wanted it to hurt him as much as it hurt him.
Then in a kick, Allan was thrown into the bathroom wall, finally stopping moving.
Tad gasped furious, confused, scared, and among other things he couldn't name.
Allan's eyes were looking directly at him, but Tad knew they weren't really looking at him.
He is dead.
He is dead.
He is dead and it's his fault.