Chapter Text
Gravity Falls. A sleepy town among the many pimples of the Pacific Northwest. Very few heard of it, and many might have only glimpsed it on a rail map as the terminus of a short railway spur. Not many road maps feature it, and some insisted it was a myth.
However, the tranquil Oregon settlement, cradled in a valley between two strange-looking cliffs, was far from ordinary. Only the bravest and most adventurous had sought the area. Drawn to the simplicity and charm of the backwards town, many stayed. Among them were a pair of twins, who, ever since that one summer many years ago, moved in, grew up, and raised children of their own. Still, their quest was far from over, and hence mystery hunter and paranormal extraordinaire Dipper Pines ventured into these mysterious woods once more.
This time, with his children.
“Awesome work, Taka!” Dipper ruffled his son’s blonde hair as he stowed the alien adhesive gun in his flannel shirt. “That was some great patching!”
It was almost late evening. The sun was setting, casting an orange and red glow over the trees. Having patched up a dimensional rift, Dipper and his children were on the way back to the Shack.
“Why did he get to use the gun, while I didn’t?” A brown-haired girl asked while trying to keep pace with her father and brother. “Why am I stuck with this?”
“Nita…” Dipper slowed down to allow his daughter to catch up. “I promise I will let you do it the next time we encounter another rift. Everyone gets a turn in this. You still played a huge part in this, helping us to analyse, calculate and locate the rift. Oh, and stop playing with the controls of this new Space-Time Continuum Flactu-o-meter. Pass me that.”
As he took the gadget away from Nita’s hands, he muttered, “I do need to come up with a better name for this…”
Dipper continued to check the readings on the meter with a pensive look across his face as they resumed their way back to the Shack.
“What's wrong, Dad?” Taka asked.
“What? Oh…” He rechecked the readings. “Er, nothing, Taka. Just needed to adjust some of these controls… Nothing serious that needs to be addressed for now.”
He gave Taka what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but instead produced a grimace. But before Taka could ask further-
“Wait a minute.” Nita stopped and glanced around. “Where's Nilam?”
“Gah!” Dipper smacked his face. “I knew we had forgotten someone! She shouldn’t be far behind. You two, go ahead first. The Shack shouldn’t be far ahead. Remember to stay on the path! And do not wander off!”
Stuffing the instrument into his backpack, Dipper sped off back into the forest.
“Can’t believe that worked. Hey Nita, don’t move off just yet!” Taka cupped his mouth and called out, “Nilam, you can come down now!”
Whump! With much grace, attributed to her acrobatic training, another girl landed right before them. She was very similar to her sister in many ways, from their petite nose to their brown hair. However, unlike Nita, she had inherited her mother's ocean-blue eyes. Both were wearing similar sweaters knitted by their Aunt Mabel, but Nilam's was more rugged, as though it had gone through a Manotaur hunt. Maybe it did. Nita’s hair was combed straight and tidy; Nilam’s was unkempt.
“Nilam, you got some twigs in your hair again. Your landing needs to be improved.” Stepping over to his sister, Taka picked out the remaining leaves in her hair. “All right, Operation Hide-Behind is successful!”
“Wait, were you hiding in the trees all this time? Taka, what are you planning this time?”
“Hey… It’s partly Nilam’s idea…” Nilam and Nita both raised their eyebrows. “Ok, ok, it’s my idea. But she’s on board with it! Now, it’s time for us to start a whole new adventure. For ourselves! Let’s go monster hunting!”
He punched his fist in the air.
“Wait, are you sure about this?” Nita stood in front of her brother. “Isn’t the forest too dangerous to wander around without Dad? And are you even prepared for a full monster hunt?”
“Don’t be such a worrywart.” Taka had already put on a battered, old ushanka, which he regarded as his "adventure" hat. It had once belonged to Wendy Corduroy. Gently pushing his sister aside, he said, “As long as we have adventure, bravery and determination in our blood, we should be fine. Come on!”
Before Nita could say another word in protest, Taka and Nilam had begun to march off the path in the forest.
“Seriously, those two! They were looking for trouble!” Nita stood there for a moment, arms crossed. “Hey, wait up! Don’t leave me alone in the forest!”
Taka had already pulled out a hand-drawn map, making a few quick scribbles.
“Should we be doing this?” Nilam looked over his shoulder. “Are we ready for a monster hunt?”
“Relax, we aren't gonna go that far. And I know just the place to get tools for the monster hunt.” He started to trace the map. “The bunker is just a couple of yards away, and Dad always goes there to tinker with a few gadgets left behind by his Grunkle Ford. Hopefully, we might check that Bill Cipher statue a bit along the way. At most, for the hunt, we will set up a simple trap near the bunker, like what Dad did long ago to capture a Gremloblin. We return to the Shack, and the next time we return to the bunker, Dad will be impressed by the specimen we caught!”
“Sounds exciting.”
“Oh hey, looks like someone decided to join our expedition!”
The two slowed their pace to allow Nita to catch up. As she drew level, she pulled Taka’s ear.
“Ow! That stings!” Pushing away his sister's hand, he rubbed his throbbing ear. “You don’t want to miss out on the fun, do you?”
“Next time, don’t just leave me behind!” Nita huffed and looked away.
“Well, alright then.”
The three resumed their journey. For a January evening, the weather was unusually warm. The leaves on the trees were stripped away, with patches of green moss and grass appeared on the forest floor. The snow had turned to slush, producing patches of puddles everywhere.
“Dang, my boots were all muddy!”
“Taka, stop splashing in the mud!”
Steadily, however, darkness began to loom over the children. An uneasy feeling began to creep on Taka. Like his father earlier, his brows deepened further every time he checked the map.
“Shouldn't we have reached there by now?” Nita looked around. “Didn't you say this would be a short expedition? I'm not exactly seeing anything other than darkness and dead trees here."
“Quiet, Nita, let me concentrate! It's getting hard to see!” He looked around with growing trepidation, trying to find a landmark to pinpoint their location on the map. But around him were just dead trees, twigs, mud patches, or the occasional scurrying fox. Apart from the soft squelch of their boots, the silence in the forest was deafening.
“Is it just me, or does this part of the forest seem pretty familiar?” Nilam had taken out a torch and began to beam it around. “Hey look!”
She shined the torch at the mud patch right before them. Going right across their intended path, a fresh set of footprints lay before them.
“Wait… this is impossible. Who else could be with us in the forest?”
“Dummy, these are our footprints!”
Taka's heart sank, as he bent down to inspect a pair. The size and pattern definitely matched his. He did screw up their first expedition, and, in his recklessness, put himself and his fellow sisters in danger.
“No wonder Dad warned us wandering off on our own. This forest does mysterious things.”
“You're not helping, Nita!” Taka shot back as he tore up the map.
“Stop bickering, you two! Let's hurry and find our way back. We're in this together. Let's hope we aren't too far off. Hopefully, we will catch up with Dad halfway.”
They turned back and attempted to retrace their path.
“If I remembered correctly, we should have… whoa!” Taka slipped, and tumbled down a steep muddy slope. “Ouch…” Taka groaned, and tried to get back up.
“Need some help?” Nilam offered.
Taka nodded. Clasping his hand around his sister's seven fingers, he allowed Nilam to drag him back up. His sisters had joined him, having found a safer route down.
“Oh dang, the mud in my hair, and my boots…”
“Of all things to worry about, you are concerned about your blonde hair?” Nita chuckled.
“Pass me back my hat.” Nilam handed his ushanka over, and Taka put it back on and adjusted it.
“Guys, look there! I think I saw something!” Nilam pointed towards a gleam standing out from the pitch blackness of the woods.
“The stream! Good job, Nilam! With any luck, as long as we follow downstream, we might return to the Shack in time!”
Delighted that, at last, they were making progress, the children skipped along the gentle flat banks of the flowing river. However, within a few minutes, their joy switched to exhaustion, as there remained no sight of the Shack. After what seemed like a long time, the three slumped on the forest floor, losing hope of getting out.
“Shouldn't we be there already?”
“Come on, it's probably a few more steps!”
“We've been walking for hours, and our water is running out!”
“If you're thirsty, the stream is just right there.”
“Hmm,” Taka considered for a moment. “Maybe we could have gone the wrong way? Maybe the Shack was upstream?”
“Taka, this is like-” Nita counted her fingers. “-the fourth mistake you have made so far? Don't you have a sense of direction?”
“Wait, did you hear that?” Nilam piped up as she sat up.
Taka strained his ears. He could make out the distant crackling of twigs, the soft swishes of falling leaves, the gentle rushing of the water, and distant muffled shouts…
“Over there! By the bushes!” Like a moth drawn to a (literal) flame, he got up and started to run towards the beacon of hope…
“Wait!” Nita grabbed Taka's hand, yanking him back. “How sure are you that those are our friends, and not a Gremloblin or a vampire? Didn't Dad warn us of the various dangerous creatures of the forest?”
“Well, at least we will die fighting a monster rather than dying of starvation,” Taka deadpanned.
“Can we just not die?” Nilam retorted.
“Let's move on cautiously,” Nita sighed.
As he led the way, Taka muttered, “Let's hope they are just elves or fairies. Or a friendly neighbourhood mage.”
Creeping closer, the children could soon make out the words.
“Shmebulock!”
“Shmebulock?”
Near the bright patch of light, they kneeled and peered through the bushes.
“Shmebulock! Shmebulock! Shmebulock!”
Gnomes! Nita mouthed. Taka and Nilam nodded.
It was a packed gathering. Banners with hurried illegible scribblings were strung across the branches, accompanied by amateurish portraits of a certain gnome, all luridly floodlit. A gnome on a raised platform, presumably the orator, was chanting “Shmebulock!” over and over, pumping his fist with every chant. At every few moments, the crowd cheered and the wild roars and yells drowned out his savage chants. After a while, he stopped, and even as the cheers and roars slowly died away, Taka thought the roars of “Shmebulock!” still echoed in his head. Taking a deep breath, the gnome then stretched his arms and broke into a speech.
“Dear comrades! This evening, we, the Sons of Shmebulock, have gathered.” There was a brief burst of applause and cheers, before he continued, “We have come, to defend the dignity of our glorious hero Shmebulock and uphold his 99 Thesis! To purge all remaining elements of the reactionary rule of Jeff II, the tyrant we worked hard to depose…”
The gnome was again drowned in roars and cheers, some shouting, “Long live Shmebulock! Death to Jeff!”
“What sort of meeting is this?” Nilam murmured, looking to Taka and Nita in puzzlement.
“Don't know.” Taka shrugged. “Gnome politics, I guess? Since when do gnomes start to think for themselves? This is a very interesting development.”
“Interesting?” Nita turned to her brother and flashed him an incredulous scowl. “Whatever this is, a gathering of gnomes means trouble. And with politics mired in, this is nothing good.” She began to shuffle back. “We better get away before…”
“Up with your hands!” yelled a savage voice. Taka's entrails seemed to have turned to ice, while his sisters' faces, like Taka’s, were ashen-white. He slowly turned around and raised his hands. The two followed suit.
“Humans! Intruders! Spies!” A gnome with a bright red neckerchief shouted. Illuminated by the lantern, Taka could glimpse the gnome's frenzied, piercing, ferocious glare, before hoods were drawn over their heads without warning. With the force of elephants, the children were taken down with a bone-sickening crunch.
“Look here, fellow gnome.” Taka tried to struggle his way out against the unseen, scurrying gnomes tying up his hands and legs. He felt like he was the Christmas turkey, being prepared for a meal. “We're just lost children! We mean no harm!”
Beside him, Nita was grunting as she resisted. “We haven't done anything to you! We want to find our way home!”
“You've trespassed the lands of the gnomes. In the name of Shmebulock, you're under arrest!”
“Wait, no, stop! Let us explain!” Nilam cried out. Despite her best efforts, she was still at the mercy of her captors. So much for being the town's gold champion in Karate.
“Quieten down these fools!”
“Wait, what are you… oh boy…” He felt a prick on his side, and began to slip into unconsciousness…