Chapter Text
It started on Valentine's day but it did not end there.
Hyunjin was on the phone, cringing and pouting but nodding and speaking very little.
“Yes mum, I’m working that day”
Another couple of minutes crawled by with Hyunjin’s mother speaking.
“I know it’s Valentine’s but Seungmin has a busy schedule during holidays!...no I’m not celebrating it after either…no neither before. Mother, I’m not dating anyone and I don’t want to find a date just for a day! No mother, I don’t want a date for the days after either!” Hyunjin was usually very patient and even now he wasn’t shouting but he clearly was at his wits end.
Seungmin knew how much the other cared and loved his parents. He was always buying them well—thought and unique gifts on their travels and in the waiting game at shows he was always calling them.
One thing his parents and him did not agree on was his choice of staying single.
Seungmin understood; his own parents were the same. It was like being single was seen as shameful but at least with his career choice, his parents understood. They certainly were not happy however!
‘You’re 23 years old! You’ll soon be middle-aged!’ they often told him. At least Seungmin had an older sister who was soon to be married, turning the spotlight and burden off him.
Hyunjin as an only child did not have that luxury.
He had even tried to give them a grand-baby; a grand-pet-baby that is in the form of a cute but obnoxious Kkami but unfortunately that backfired as his parents rightly reprimanded him for getting a dog when he was so busy and as a result, Kkami spent his days shared with his parents.
“No mum, I swear I’m not lonely. I don’t have time to be and I’m okay with that. This is my choice.”
But Hyunjin’s mother was not relenting and he could see tears of frustration gathering in the other’s eyes at having his choice not respected. So Seungmin acted, wanting to come in defence of the other like he often did.
He smoothly grabbed the phone from Hyunjin’s strong grip and pressed it to his own face.
“Hello, Eomma-ssi. This is Seungmin. Hyunjin will actually have a date on Valentine’s. He was just too embarrassed about it. You know how private he is. It’s almost like he’s in the entertainment industry” he joked, trying to diffuse the tension. He didn’t look at Hyunjin; he was probably staring in shock. At least he wasn’t flailing around or falling on the floor as the other was prone to do from time to time.
“Oh hello Seungmin dear. I’m sorry if you had to hear that but a mother just wants to make sure that her child is happy. Thank you for telling me the truth but why didn’t he tell me?” she asked.
Why wouldn’t Hyunjin tell her of the fake date? What possible reason could he use? Oh right! Seungmin snapped the fingers on his free hand at his genius idea.
“Because the date is with me after my schedule. I’m sure you understand the need for discretion in this situation but don’t worry; I will take really good care of your Hyunjinnie and make sure he’s happy on such a special day. Even if we do have to work for most of it” he smiled happily at his convincing lie. Hyunjin’s mother was beside herself – in a good way – about the fake date. She understood that she couldn’t tell the world publicly but she was just happy that her only child wasn’t going to die single.
“Oh and tell Hyunjin I always knew he was gay. I’m not sure why he felt the need to hide that. All the extended family has known since he was twelve! But I’m happy he’s happy. Thank you so much Seungmin. Take care of my boy” and she hung up.
“Oops…you weren’t out?” Seungmin asked, now turning to a still shell-shocked Hyunjin.
Hyunjin gulped. “Well, I wasn’t in either. I don’t date so why bother.” Hyunjin mumbled, probably embarrassed at the late coming out. At least he wasn’t straight and Seungmin had thrown him out without actually being queer.
Seungmin knew the other wasn’t straight. He saw him looking in appreciation at the men that looked at him. They had a talk then and Hyunjin admitted to dating a few of them; but they never lasted. Hyunjin had a busy schedule. Interestingly, he had only dated them in the first year that they knew each other. If he dated after that in the following three years, Seungmin wasn’t aware. His schedule did rise with his fame and neither of them had time for a private life.
That’s actually a lie they both tell themselves; they had plenty of time for game and movie nights together or with some other now common friends. Seungmin however, ignored this fact and went on with his life living like he didn’t even have time to breathe.
Sometimes he did feel guilty of all the lives intertwined with him that stretched their string to capacity.
“But Seungminnie, what were you thinking! If it gets out…you’re an idol and I’m your manager! This is bad! And you’re not even out! Wait, are you even…never mind. That’s not important. Seungmin!”
Ah, there was the freak out he had been expecting. It didn’t happen so often; well it didn’t happen so often recently . In the beginning, it used to happen a lot. They were both new in their roles but Seungmin found it comforting that there was someone who was visibly freaking out more than him and he found comfort in comforting him.
Because of the past, he knew what to do. He clutched Hyunjin’s shaking hands in his and looked him in the eye.
“One. I am. Two. She won’t. The most that can happen is that all of your extended family and neighbours and family friends will know but I’m sure that because they love you, they will keep it to themselves for your sake. Three. Even if it gets out it’s not the end of the world. The marketing unit will spin-it into something good and if they don’t; well my contract is ending. We find another company. Now breathe.” Because there was no way that he’ll stay in the industry without his trusty manager.
Hyunjin took shaky breaths until his airway was clear. Then he shed a few tears and hugged him. Lastly, shy because he should be the collected one but grateful, he thanked him for buying him more time until his mother starts asking questions again.
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The first time that they met, Seungmin thought that he was there for a collaboration. He was new in the industry; newly debuted but he didn’t fit well with any of his managers. He found them too demanding and demeaning and he thought that he’ll have to suck it up for another seven years.
Then he was told that Hyunjin would be his main manager and felt some stars shifting. Hyunjin wasn’t an idol although he looked like one; he’ll manage his career instead. He looked different than the other managers and not only because of their similar (same) age; he worked differently too. Hyunjin was diligent, barely took any time off but made sure that Seungmin did and worked with him rather than above him or for him. After only a few months he wasn’t just his main manager; he became his sole one and together they soared the charts.
They sometimes made use of other company staff when Hyunjin had something but truthfully it had only happened thrice in the last four years: once for a funeral, once for an emergency vet visit and once when his parents had both been sick and he went to take care of them. Otherwise, Hyunjin can be found right beside or behind Seungmin. It wasn’t a good idea for him to be in front however because he did attract a lot of attention.
Hyunjin could have been an idol, not easily because it was never easy but it would have fit him. He loved dancing and he often joined Seungmin’s training just so that he wouldn’t be alone at first but once he realised how fun it would be, he started to go even when other idols or backup dancers would be present. Seungmin worried for a while that Hyunjin had found his true vocation and would leave him but that never materialised and when once Seungmin did bring it up, Hyunjin had giggled so sweetly and told him not to worry, that he had no dreams of fame.
Hyunjin tagged along to vocal lessons where he didn’t disturb (or tried not to, even as a wallflower he was captivating) but Seungmin would catch him humming a familiar melody in the car or hear him sing softly in the waiting room, lisp in full bloom. He was quite a decent rapper as well and Seungmin was always egging him to take more lessons so they could have a battle but Hyunjin egged him on telling him he needed to rap more. One day with Hyunjin’s permission, as a prize for winning a show, he was going to make Hyunjin perform the encore with him just like Chungha-nim had done with her manager.
Hyunjin even tried his hand at playing the guitar but he was hopeless at that and his guitar may never forgive him for all those wrongly plucked strings. The muscle memory which he used in dancing was useless when switching cords. He still had fun though and last Christmas just a few months past, Seungmin had gifted him a personalised ukulele in hopes of giving him enough motivation to learn even if just from youtube tutorials. An ukulele had the advantage of being small and Seungmin hoped that Hyunjin could entertain himself during all those waiting games they played in schedules. Of course, Hyunjin had other modes of entertainment including: phone games, drawing, calling his parents and best friends and encouraging him.
The only place which Hyunjin tagged along as if the grim reaper was behind him, was the gym. Seungmin tried to keep visits with him there to a minimum and he went at night on his own without telling him though Hyunjin eyed his muscles – sore from the previous day – with suspicion as if he could tell they were growing centimetre by centimetre. Hyunjin at the gym was a bad idea anyway. He was both super distracted and clumsy with the equipment and distracting for everyone else. Seungmin thought he would commit murder for him in the future; some men were really sleazy though usually it was the newcomers. The regulars were really respectful and interested only in working out but you always have some newbie who thought he was a hotshot and started to go to the gym to pump up and then quit once he realised how much work it actually takes.
Despite all his artistic inclinations and persistence needed to become an idol, Hyunjin found himself managing. When Seungmin had asked how that came to be, Hyunjin had just shrugged and said that he liked performances but he liked behind the scenes better and he was fairly organised and did not seek the spotlight so when he had seen a job advert, he had applied. He wasn’t the usual type of manager – he wasn’t burly to protect the idols from fans and enemies alike but he wasn’t a sore-spot in the staff room. They had met other managers that looked like idols although usually not as young as him. They probably followed the same routine as the idols either for support or because of jealousy so they ended up looking like them. Whatever he did, despite not seeking the limelight, Seungmin always thought that he stood out.
Seungmin was ever grateful to get him as his manager. They got on well; like fire and water. Usually it wasn’t a good idea to combine them but you never know; in their case it worked. Water cools down fire...unless it makes it worse (so far they haven’t gotten on each other’s nerves though) and fire infused water with good things (ideas usually) unless it boils it and makes it fade (but so far, Seungmin always felt inspired in the other’s presence).
He was more than happy to help the other get his family to back-off a little; they always made sure each other’s boundaries were kept. It’s not the first time Hyunjin had asked some persistent fans to back off and it wasn’t uncommon for Seungmin to do the same with strangers for Hyunjin.
He had forgotten however that family had direct access and now Hyunjin’s mother was spamming his messages asking for details and updates.
“How about we actually do something after my schedule? You’re free right? You don’t have any engagements which you were too embarrassed to tell your mother about?” Seungmin snickered, thinking the other had some secret tryst was hilarious. The other couldn’t keep it a secret for five minutes. He always wore his heart on his face…but it was important that he lied sometimes. Like in this case.
After Hyunjin shook his head and affirmed that he was indeed free Seungmin suggested they plate some fancy take-away, enjoy each other’s company and take a couple of pictures to send to Hyunjin’s family.
Hyunjin looked offended.
“Take-away? For Valentine’s? I’m cooking.”
And that was final. Seungmin could never refuse Hyunjin’s cooking. The other sometimes (most times verging on always unless they were really late) made him packed lunches and snacks which fuelled him especially during busy days. It was always a highlight to see what was in his lunchbox. In fact, he usually refrained from looking until it was time to eat. That way, he wouldn’t be drooling over food he couldn’t yet have. Usually it was nothing too complicated but Seungmin didn’t expect it to be. He appreciated the fact that his hardworking but hard-to-wake-up manager woke up early (it was usually too fresh to have been prepared the day before) to prepare him food.
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“Hey Jeongin? Would black trousers and this shirt be a good outfit for Valentine’s?” Seungmin asked his young stylist.
“Valentine’s? Your outfit is already picked up for the broadcast and if I say so myself, it’s very snazzy” Jeongin explained as he gesticulated exaggeratedly with his hands.
Hyunjin snorted in the corner but didn’t look up and Seungmin faked a cough to hide his smile.
It was good that Jeongin was gaining confidence in his job because the three of them had bonded over the fact that they were not sure how they got there. Seungmin had been scouted in school. Hyunjin had joined the agency after seeing an advert but had been star-struck when he had actually been picked up and Jeongin…had worked as a clothing store shop assistant before becoming his stylist. After his trial-run, he was kept on because the fans loved the outfits that Jeongin put him in…but Hyunjin and him often argued about style points. They can both be so stubborn and when they turned to him to settle an argument, Seungmin froze. Still, most often than not, Hyunjin ended up winning the styling wars and Jeongin grumbled but he still dressed Seungmin in Hyunjin’s picks since the fans loved them. He was getting paid for basically doing minimal work! Hyunjin did the job of like five people at once. He was essentially the holy spirit but more.
“Oh, it’s not for the broadcast. I have an appointment after and want to look smart” he confessed.
Somewhere in the corner, Hyunjin choked on his water infused with the essence of life or something. “Minerals, Seungminnie. They’re called minerals” Hyunjin always told him but Seungmin just loved to tease him to see the resulting pout.
“YOU HAVE A DATE?” Jeongin shrieked.
Seungmin winced. That would surely attract attention.
“Who has a date?” Felix asked from the doorway.
Great. His best friend was amazing…but he was so nosey! Technically, he should not be here. Felix did not work for the company but he was Seungmin’s best friend and he was dating one of the producers…and he owned a bakery business and could bribe his way essentially everywhere.
“Brownie?” case in point. He didn’t get a brownie, too gooey for now since he had to sing but he did eat some of the dried fruit and seeds mix that Hyunjin mixed especially based on his tastes just so he doesn’t feel left out since of course everyone in the room took a brownie or ten.
“Just one Hyunjin?” Felix asked sceptically.
“I’m on a diet” Hyunjin replied.
Hyunjin was often on diets and Seungmin had never felt comfortable asking if it was companionship – since Seungmin was on a diet – or some sort of body dysphoria. He just hoped it wasn’t an eating disorder because those were hell. Well, so was dysphoria.
“Let’s get back to the main question. You have a date? You?” Jeongin asked in disbelief, pointing at him as if by now not everyone knew he meant Seungmin.
“It’s not really a date. I need an outfit for some photos. I’m helping out a friend convince his parents that he’s not a single pringle”
“This is some fake dating shit! Let me know how it goes!” Felix, always the sunshine, was also a big gossip like everyone else in the building. Some people were just better at keeping it under control. In fact, Seungmin thought that in order to be let in the company one had to be:
- Not a fan unless for specific events
- Not working in the media unless for specific events
- And a gossip
Those were the three criteria to be let in…but Seungmin couldn’t say anything since he too fell in that category. When Felix and Changbin had fallen face first – both of them! – on the ground upon meeting, Seungmin had been at the forefront of that gossip train and when producer Jisung had been caught kissing his choreographer, Minho, in between two vending machines he had never let them live it down and always made sure to include ‘vending machine’ in their following conversations just to be a little shit.
“I suggest navy trousers or grey. They look good on you. Anything to add, Hyunjin?” Jeongin saltily asked, looking at the other, not even pretending to be respectful.
“Um…navy or grey are good but maybe some kind of checked trousers?” Hyunjin said red faced. It must be weird to suggest clothes for their ‘date’ but Seungmin considered that and nodded. Navy and grey and green checked trousers which he already owned but never wore, it was! They will be paired up with a white shirt although he may change his option later. He wasn’t messy but Hyunjin was and it wouldn’t take anything for his crispy white shirt to be stained with food that the other dropped or a drink that he spilled.
For all his impeccable organisational skills, Hyunjin was quite clumsy with objects and his impeccable organisational skills and sense told him to give objects to Seungmin for safe-keeping. Hyunjin knew his weaknesses.
He knew Seungmin’s as well.
The schedule lasted until seven pm and they were both tired but Hyunjin drove him off to his apartment before he went to his own to prepare with the knowledge that the next day was a rare free one and they could stay up late. Technically, Seungmin could drive and he would drive himself to Hyunjin’s (who had of course a better kitchen) but Hyunjin had refused stating that it was a security risk for Seungmin to be seen exiting a schedule on his own.
That day he had participated in a broadcasted Valentine’s concert and he had two interviews. He also was filmed playing some games and those were fun but he couldn’t help but think that it was less fun since he did them on his own.
Seungmin rushed to dress up in his chosen outfit. He’d swapped the white shirt for a charcoal grey one. He wore the plain necklace with a silver bar that Hyunjin had gifted him, thinking it was a sentimental gesture the other would appreciate. Sure, it wasn’t an actual date but from all the dramas that Hyunjin watched while waiting for their turn, Seungmin knew the other was a hopeless romantic and Seungmin could at least give him this. The other did so much for him. He could hear Hyunjin telling him it was not an equal exchange they had to compete in but well, Seungmin really appreciated the other.
When he arrived there he was greeted with a soft looking Hyunjin, dressed in a billowy long white shirt and cream trousers. He had evidently freshly showered and his long black hair still looked damp. The other had applied light make-up which made his lips look really sweet. Because they reminded Seungmin of strawberries.
The second greeting was to Seungmin’s senses. A drooling-worthy aroma flitted out of the kitchen and Seungmin couldn’t help but inhale. Even through the mask he could tell it would be something delicious and his stomach grumbled, demanding to be fed now.
“Come in, come in. I didn’t finish yet but thankfully I had some time for prep this morning”
Hyunjin let him into the sitting room adjacent to the open-plan kitchen. Kkami’s ‘tick tick tick’ as his small claws clacked on the wooden flooring made him aware of the other’s presence so he quickly went to greet (read: annoy) the pooch. When Kkami had had enough, he trotted back to where he originally came from: Hyunjin’s room. Seungmin debated following the other but ultimately he had more respect for the other’s privacy than need to pull the dog’s soft fur this way and that way.
He occupied himself catching up on social media. Time escaped him until Hyunjin’s “It’s ready!” startled him. It was eight-thirty by this point; later than he usually ate when he could but he wasn’t desperately hungry, he just wished to eat good food and his stomach was on board. In a move so like Hyunjin, he had packed him a snack so that he could enjoy the food later rather than devour it.
“If I’m cooking, you better enjoy it” Hyunjin hadn’t actually said that. He was too nice for it but Seungmin got the message just as well.
The main dish was creamy shrimp noodles but the highlight was the eggrolls that Hyunjin knowingly placed directly in front of him. He’ll feel bad about eating so many eggs at this time tomorrow; for now, he enjoyed them leaving one for last so that the taste would stay on his palate.
Hyunjin had outdone himself. There were so many side dishes present!
After two egg rolls were done and dusted, Seungmin suddenly remembered the photos.
“Let’s take some photos now while there’s still food. Wouldn’t want your family to think you left me starving”
Hyunjin giggled and shook his head but procured his phone to be used for said photos. They took some cheek to cheek. In one of them Seungmin pointed at the various dishes. In the other he held a thumbs up while smiling. He even dared briefly brush his lips to Hyunjin’s warm cheek.
Hyunjin busied himself sending the photos.
Seungmin narrowed his eyes.
“You didn’t spend so long cooking to not enjoy the food. Eat”
“But it’s creamy. Lots of fat” Hyunjin whined.
“We’ll burn it during dance practice. I’ll specifically ask Minho hyung to do a fat burning routine”
“No please! He’s mean!” Hyunjin was a tiny bit scared of Minho and Seungmin couldn’t tell why. Sure, Minho could be scary but he actually cared for Hyunjin like a baby brother. Only they were both only children and could not tell that what they had was a sibling bond so they bickered and teased each other, with Hyunjin being fearful of the other but usually that didn’t stop him from pointing out features in the other that would make Minho run after him. They needed a better communication 101 class.
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you” he reassured.
Hyunjin pouted but eventually his puffy cheeks were full of food and they both hummed happily for different reasons.
At the end they settled on Hyunjin’s couch and agreed to watch ‘Tinted With You’ which was cute, short and something they had both seen already. Seriously, in between schedules and during them it was mostly a waiting game so they got a lot of time but if their hobbies revolved on the outdoors or specific equipment then it was harder to do so shows, games and music it was.
“Wait” Hyunjin said when Seungmin went to play the second ten-minute episode “I have something for you”
Hyunjin uncurled from his position on the couch –seriously, how was he so flexible? – and went to get something from his room. He came back with a box and Kkami. The box he gave to Seungmin who stared at him open-mouthed. It was a box of his favourite chocolates!
“Thank you…but I didn’t get you anything!” Seungmin exclaimed feeling bad.
“Nonsense. You got my family to back off. That’s more than today can cover” Hyunjin's smile was blinding and Seungmin thought that it hadn’t been a good idea to eat four egg rolls because now he was feeling them.
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That feeling was similar to when they had first met.
Vending machines were their thing before it was Minho’s and Jisung’s.
This is how their first meeting went: he had met Hyunjin sniffling in front of a vending machine who had eaten his money without giving him the promised canned iced coffee.
“Why are you like this?” Hyunjin said to the vending machine.
Behind him, Seungmin snickered. Hyunjin turned so quickly his neck made a jarring noise and he nearly slipped from the half-pirouette turn.
“Oh my, you’re Kim Seungmin!” Hyunjin said, clearly embarrassed.
“Are you a fan?” he asked. Security didn’t let fans in without permission but sometimes it happened that his fans also had work in the company building.
“Oh yes! I mean I enjoy your music but I’m actually here for you. I’m here to work with you” Hyunjin rubbed his hand on his nape.
Seungmin was charmed. He’ll be glad to work together with such an idol or artist that seemed so honest in an industry that was so fake.
“Well then I believe we’re expected in meeting room eight, shall we go?”
Hyunjin nodded, clearly still dazed.
“But first…” Seungmin bumped his knuckle on the control panel of the vending machine just so. A beep followed and Hyunjin’s drink barrelled down.
Hyunjin stared at him in wonder.
“Wow. I’m so glad I will be working with you”
A few days later, Seungmin could say the same thing.
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Valentine’s day did not magically change things between them. Hyunjin had sent him the photos they had taken and Seungmin in a bout of sentimentality had developed them but that’s all that changed. Well, Hyunjin’s family were apparently always asking about him and their relationship if Hyunjin’s hushed conversations were any indication but apart from that, they were still an impeccable duo that got shit done and made people’s senses tingle. Seungmin with his performances and Hyunjin with his managing skills because there wouldn’t be a Seungmin of this calibre to appeal to people’s senses without Hyunjin.
Valentine’s day did however start something.
Here’s the thing about Hyunjin: he attracts attention. Lots of it.
The good thing about hanging out with Hyunjin was that he sometimes felt invisible which was actually a good thing when privacy was a luxury.
As part of his job, Hyunjin had to walk in front of him or beside him or behind to guide him and deter mobs of fans or media but sometimes, someone random would just slide up to him and chat him up. It really wasn’t a good idea for Hyunjin to walk in front of him.
Hyunjin was also the designated shopper. He went to buy things for Seungmin so that Seungmin wouldn’t be recognised but like now…they ended up wasting more time. Seungmin often straight up went to a shop with a ball cap on and no one recognised him and left him alone. He looked just like any common person.
Hyunjin on the other hand…he looked a bit ethereal, even now that he had switched back to a darker hair colour, he had a magnitude about him. Of course Hyunjin said the same thing about him but Seungmin reminded him that when Hyunjin had his hair bleached blonde, sometimes staff thought that he was the idol. They had a lot of fond memories from those times.
But right now, well, Seungmin was a bit cranky and a lot irritated. He was waiting in the car and waiting and waiting but no snacks and no Hyunjin appeared and Seungmin could just guess what had happened. Someone must have seen Hyunjin and thought ‘yes, him. He looks hot. Let’s try’ and Hyunjin, who for being a total romantic was equally as clueless, would think they were just being nice helping him select prime snacks and he wouldn’t have the heart to tell them off despite knowing too well what Seungmin liked.
But Seungmin did. So breaking protocol – like all the times that something like this happened - and it happened often – he left his designated place. Ball cap and mask on, he navigated the store. It shouldn’t be too hard to find Hyunjin…ah bingo.
There he was, smiling with his eyes as he eyed two snacks (both of which were Seungmin’s favourite healthy snacks) probably trying to choose one since Seungmin told him not to bring too much temptation back (but he should bring one of each still!). He was surrounded by two women and a man who were pointing at various snacks and eyeing him up while he looked over at the actual snacks.
“Hi baby” he said, making sure not to mention any names just in case. “I was wondering what took you so long”
Hyunjin whipped his head around, his eyes widening. “Wha…what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in the car!” he whispered. Not suspicious at all! They will think they were either in an abusive relationship or Bonny and Clyde.
Seungmin rolled his eyes. “My ankle doesn’t hurt anymore. I told you it was just a sprain. Are you ready?”
“Oh…I can’t pick between these two. I know they’re both your favourite. These three lovely customers have been trying to help me but since you’re here we can save them a hassle. Which one?” he asked, holding them up and clearly thinking nothing of the three crestfallen faces.
“I’m sure that’s exactly what they’ve been doing. Anyway, just bring one of each then we can share both”
Hyunjin’s face lit up. “Genius!” he said, as if it was the first time that Seungmin had suggested it. For all his great scheduling, Hyunjin sometimes had a hard time grasping easy concepts like this. Then again, he had been brought up as an only child which may just explain him wanting to share but not realising it was an option.
“Thanks for your help” Hyunjin bowed at the three in turn.
“Your boyfriend?” the man asked. He seemed at least a bit pleased. Maybe knowing he wasn’t barking up the wrong tree even though it was not a free tree didn’t make him doubt himself like the two women were (not that Hyunjin couldn’t be also interested in women but that thought probably did not even cross their minds).
“Yes” Seungmin answered before Hyunjin could deny it and make them lose even more time when the man would try to chat him up again. Then he bowed (but very shallowly even though they clearly were all older than him or if they weren’t, they led stressful lives because those wrinkles were visible) and dragged Hyunjin away gently by the hand.
“Why did you do that?” Hyunjin asked back in the car.
“They were flirting with you”
“What? No they weren’t!” Hyunjin said in disbelief.
“Hyunjin…they spent… what fifteen minutes? Speaking to you about snacks? They were flirting.”
“Oh…” Hyunjin sighed “Why can’t I ever tell? Anyway, thank you. I didn’t want to keep you. Please take all those snacks”
“Nope. We’re sharing. Half and half of these two and then the others we save them for later” he quickly opened the two bags that had held him up (Hyunjin didn’t have packet sealers in his Mary Poppins bag) and thrust one in the other’s lap. The snacks he had picked before had a prime seat on the backseat.
Seeing Hyunjin munch on the savoury cheese snack made him reconsider. It may have been healthy but it still could lead to heart failure from cuteness.
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So here’s the thing: Seungmin does not have a big crush on his manager; he has a tiny one, miniscule even but it was only natural. They matched each other well, spent a lot of time together and Hyunjin was the cutest and kindest person so it was only inevitable.
At least he wasn’t accumulating cats like Minho was. One cat had been for kindness and companionship, the second cat had been an accident and the third cat was just a cry for help especially with his taste in human partners.
He’d much rather acquire a crush leading to nowhere. I mean, he’d be lost without Hyunjin and he couldn’t risk that. Besides the fact that his private life was always up for scrutiny; Hyunjin did not dream of the fame that dating Seungmin would bring.
Seungmin was content with being friends. There was nothing bad about being friends. What was important for him was that they remained in each other’s lives and that didn’t seem to be in danger of failing.
“Oh! They have a deal for couples! Why do couples get all the benefits?” Hyunjin lamented.
They were currently standing in line at a coffee shop because they got bored of always having meetings in a meeting room and they both needed some change of air for creativity. They had purposefully chosen a coffee shop that did not look the best to avoid a crowd and so far no one had looked at them twice, well apart from the usual appreciative looks that Hyunjin got from strangers.
Hyunjin was in turn staring in appreciation at the oat muffins (probably in order to not stare at the unhealthier options). Seungmin read the sign. “Buy 1 get 1 free for couples. Share some sweets with your sweetie”. Seungmin cringed at the sign, but determinately bridged the small gap between them.
“Shall we get two oat muffins and coffees sweetheart?” he asked as his arm snaked its way around Hyunjin’s waist. Seungmin may be popular, and his company may even not hold hostage all his profits but Seungmin knew that Hyunjin wasn’t the richest and besides, saving some money wasn’t a bad thing.
“Wha-?” Seungmin shushed him by squeezing his hipbone. He stared at the other, hoping the message would go through like some sort of telepathic bond. Instead, Hyunjin asked him what he was doing but very quietly so Seungmin giggled, like what Hyunjin had said was a sweet nothing.
“Right, great idea sweetie” he said, leaving Hyunjin more perplexed. Then Seungmin turned to the barista, a move straight from his dance classes and ordered “Two oat muffins, two coffees and a pair of dark chocolate truffles please” he said with a smile, hidden behind fabric but shining nonetheless.
“Are you two a couple?” she asked, clearly bored and wanting to clarify. Seungmin would have done it himself but suddenly saying ‘we’re a couple’ or ‘we’re together’ would have a. made it less believable and b. been a risk in case someone recognised him. So Seungmin leaned a bit closer to the counter and whispered, hesitantly, a yes.
The barista blinked, at odds from his behavioural change. At first he was so confident…and then he was not but one look at Hyunjin, blushing and timid made her smile.
“We have a no discrimination policy. A set of oat muffins, coffees and truffles for the price of one coming your way. Please take a seat.”
Seungmin smiled at her then took Hyunjin’s hand and he navigated them to a free table – the last one.
“Why did you…?” Hyunjin asked but Seungmin shook his head. Too many people around.
“Just enjoy it. You’ve been working hard”
“So have you!” Hyunjin said vehemently because he had the correct idea that Seungmin would refuse he foots or shares the bill.
“Well then, I will enjoy it too”
The truffles especially were a great choice. They melted on their tongues and both of them made sounds of delight while looking at each other.
“Thank you Seungmin. I appreciate.”
He was sure that he did. He had only talked about this particular coffee shop which he wanted to try for a full week now but having tasted their menu, he could see why and he was sure they would become regular clients in between or during meetings.
This didn’t feel like a meeting but they were nothing but productive and got a lot of stuff done while trying to make it seem like they weren’t discussing work but celebrating because they didn’t want to be kicked out for fraud. They even went for seconds and Hyunjin went to pay everything then thinking he was smart but finding that the bill for the two orders had already been paid while he was immersed in his handy notebook; Seungmin had faked a bathroom break.
Amateur.
------
Seungmin wasn’t sure if this would classify as a punishment or a reward but Hyunjin made him pay or repaid him for the coffee shop stunt by making him extra delicious packed lunches (and dinners and sometimes breakfasts) for a week. By that, Seungmin meant that they were all egg based. His dietician and stylists probably hated them both but Minho took great care in making them (yes, both because Minho loved to torment ‘pretty-boy-Hyunjin’) extra hard in turn. Seungmin would gladly go on a long detox if he got to have such cheat weeks with Hyunjin’s food.
Seungmin repaid the egg-licious food with more treats especially because Hyunjin could enjoy them more than him.
“But I’m on a diet!” Hyunjin lamented, after being presented with another castella cake. Yes, Seungmin was living vigorously through him.
“But you don’t need to be! I mean you look like a model ready for the catwalk and health wise you’re as fit as a fiddle if we don’t consider clumsiness as a condition so really, it’s okay to have cheat days.” Seungmin pushed the green tea castella cake a minuscule amount in Hyunjin’s direction. It was a small push but Hyunjin took the bait and slowly slid the plate further in and eventually started to eat.
“It’s a cheat day every day with you” Hyunjin grumbled, his cheeks full of cake and one tiny bit sitting as temptation on the edge of his lips. Temptation because of the cake which Seungmin cannot have of course.
Seungmin gasped “You’re cheating on me?” he asked, hand on his fast-beating heart. “I never took you as the type”
“I would never!” Hyunjin defended himself.
“Good. Now. I’ll stop bringing you treats so often if you stop repaying me with eggs…don’t say it” Seungmin pointed a finger in warning.
Hyunjin reddened up. “I wasn’t! That’s something you would say!” Okay yes, so Seungmin made up for his squeaky clean public persona by having a potty-mouth in private. Very few people were privy to that and it was fun so Seungmin had no intention of changing and he let Hyunjin know this by shrugging unapologetically.
Eventually their food war came to a truce. They only exchanged treats once or twice a week. Seungmin’s tiny waistline rejoiced at being free once more.
---
Seungmin was vexed. It was now the 4 th of March but Seungmin thought it was of 1900. Some people just did not know when to back-off. He understood not everyone could or was able to read social cues but Hyunjin had explicitly said ‘I’m sorry, I’m here for work and not interested’. At least for once Hyunjin understood the man was flirting with him though that may be because the man groped him.
If it was Seungmin, he would have stabbed him with a fork. Public image and marketing disaster be damned. Hyunjin was however very kind and patient and he’d just moved the man’s hand away and explained that no, he wouldn’t want a drink or anything ‘extra’. At least he didn’t smile.
Predictably, the man didn’t relent! His hand went back on Hyunjin’s thigh and the man tried to charm him by telling him how pretty he was. Hyunjin didn’t need that. He already knew he was pretty and in any case, while not his only property, he had plenty of people telling him he was pretty: Minho, Jisung, Chan, Changbin, Felix, him, his neighbours, probably his parents…he for sure did not need this man to tell him.
They were in a hotel lobby, both exhausted from two full days in Busan. They were supposed to be resting for the drive back tomorrow. The rest of the crew had already left with a company van but they had been allowed an extra night of rest away from the hustle and bustle that was awaiting them back home. Hyunjin himself had chosen and booked a nicely decorated hotel because if they couldn’t go out to see the scenery in case of bad weather or mobs, they may as well enjoy inside. Seungmin wasn’t enjoying it so much now.
Seungmin felt the farthest thing from rested. Not only had this man slid up uninvited to their table but he had completely ignored Seungmin AND he had completely ignored Hyunjin’s wishes as well. Seungmin’s protective instincts went haywire. Hyunjin has expressed his disinterest and mild distress (they were in public and he was with a friend so it wasn’t totally out of control) but he failed to act again to make the man back-off.
“Excuse me, not so gentleman. Can you like, unhand my boyfriend. He said he’s not interested so shove off”
Damn it felt good to tell one of the many off.
The man’s eyes boggled and he whipped his head, probably only now just registering Seungmin. Thankfully, the man did not seem to recognise him. He was at least apologetic and bowed at them before he retreated. In the dim light, his name tag shone.
The man was an employee? Talk about standards or lack thereof.
“Um. That was awkward. Thanks? He didn’t seem to recognise you so that’s a relief” Hyunjin said, sounding and looking shaken.
“Sorry you had to go through that, especially because this isn’t a one-off. Can’t believe he was an employee. Can you believe it?” Seungmin was still in disbelief how someone who should be a professional acted anything but in his own workplace! Maybe Seungmin was too optimistic or had high standards.
“Um. I can, yes. Happens. Don’t worry about it. Let’s enjoy this reprieve from work” Hyunjin smiled.
Hyunjin was wrong. Seungmin wasn’t worried. He was boiling with rage that someone so sweet had gotten used to frequent bad attention.
He vowed to give him the healthy, good kind of attention.
So he smiled back and cheered with their non-alcoholic (but still very sugary) drinks.
“To us and the best kind of people in the world that aren’t us” he toasted. “Oh by the way. I’m digging that shirt and trousers and socks combo and I’m glad you fought and won Jeongin on my own outfit. I loved it”
“Yeah?” Hyunjin’s smile became infinitely bigger. Not as big as Seungmin would like but still better than the small smile from before. “I’m glad. Beret and military style shirts should be mandatory for you. You wear them well.” Hyunjin wore that smile well.
Later, when the time to retire for their beauty sleep came, the receptionist called them over and apologised for the mix-up. He thanked them for their generosity in not bringing it up but told them that the hotel felt guilty for having them pay for two rooms instead of one when the previous receptionist – who this one didn’t seem that fond of – must have clearly made a booking mistake.
“Our manager however realised and we have decided not only to cancel one room booking and refund you but to upgrade your room to the vip suite” the receptionist said pointing subtly at the not so gentle man.
The man was a manager?
Yeah, Seungmin was definitely rating the hotel with one star and only because no stars was not an option.
“Ah, thank you but…not the vip suite. One of the other rooms is more than enough.” Hyunjin insisted until the receptionist changed the vip suite to a spa package the next morning. Hyunjin could be very insistent when it came to work and not his personal life. On the one hand, Seungmin did not fancy driving while boneless but Hyunjin did seem to revitalise at the very mention of ‘massage’ so he nodded in agreement because this receptionist was stubborn and on the other hand, they were trying to lay low and a vip suite was anything but. So spa it was.
“Sorry I didn’t correct her about the assumption but the man was looking and I didn’t really want him to question the validity of our supposed relationship” Hyunjin apologised in the elevator.
“It’s fine. I didn’t want him to try something else either and what do you mean ‘supposed’, Valentine?” Seungmin smirked and then, because they may be watched on CCTV, he placed his arm on top of Hyunjin’s shoulders. Sure, Hyunjin was taller but only by a little and that difference was nulled when Hyunjin tilted his head to rest on his shoulder.
“Sorry” the other mumbled “I’m tired.” His yawn was cute. Like a baby feline only without claws.
“Hopefully not too tired to wake up for your spa appointment tomorrow!” he teased.
“Our appointment and I guess it’s good we’re sharing a room. You get the privilege of waking me up, roomie.”
There was, of course, only one bed but they were expecting it.
Before Hyunjin could unwind the breath he took and form it into words, Seungmin sat down on the right side.
“You take the left side.” The couch was nice but it looked like it was just for show. Something you would lean on or sit on to write something down and then immediately get up from. Definitely not meant to be slept on for eight or so hours.
He had seen Hyunjin in pyjamas plenty of times. They often had to get up early and sometimes even zipped up a big puffer jacket on top their sleepwear and went out like that. One time, Seungmin had gifted him a pyjama set with teddy bears and it was that, that he was wearing now.
“Cute”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. What time do you want to wake up tomorrow?”
“Um. Seven? Then we can enjoy the spa and still leave early”
Seungmin somehow knew that it would be a struggle but then again they can always have a nap in the spa.
As he had thought, the other was hard to wake up. How he did it nearly every day to get to Seungmin in a timely manner, he didn’t know. Maybe he hired a marching band to come wake him up every day. Perhaps waking up was Hyunjin’s one real fault that kept all potential partners away? Maybe he was terrible in the morning?
Eventually, he managed to wake him up by tickling him. He nearly got a foot to his nose and if they had to repeat this, he’d rather Hyunjin get a pedicure. Good thing they were going to a spa.
He was wrong however. Hyunjin was lovely in the morning, just hard to wake up. He looked at him all sleepy eyed and still drowsy and for a second he whined about having to wake up. He didn’t do the classic ‘five more minutes’ because he wasn’t coherent enough to form words but after ten minutes he got hold of himself and came to his senses.
He could see the ‘professional Jin’ transformation and it was a wonder how he was rushing packing their luggage and checking their schedules. He stopped once he realised the time.
“Seungmin…it’s six-thirty!”
“Yeah well, I anticipated it would take longer for you to wake up” he said sheepishly.
Hyunjin sighed. “Let’s have breakfast then and we can spend longer at the free spa.”
So they had breakfast and to Seungmin’s displeasure, manager asshole was there overseeing the buffet.
“I can’t believe you woke me up at six-thirty” Hyunjin grumbled, not realising they were being watched and heard.
“Sorry babe. Your fault for being so irresistible” he said, purposefully not looking at manager asshat and snaking his arm around Hyunjin’s waist. He was not about to give him even an inkling of leeway.
“Play along, we’re being watched” he whispered, head behind Hyunjin’s ear which he kissed briefly and then he detached from the other because they were in public after all. He had the pleasure of seeing Hyunjin redden and shudder.
A great morning that continued to be only better at the spa where they were treated like royalty.
One spa worker recognised him. He could see it from the glint in her eyes, so he was wary about acting couple-y…even though they probably already knew the fake backstory of their voucher, after all, hotel workers shared the same gossipy attitude as his company.
When the other worker went to fetch some more oils - Hyunjin had refused to strip of his robe for a back massage even though Seungmin thought he needed one after carrying his career on his shoulders but he had been delighted to get a foot bath and now the workers were pampering him by combining a multitude of salts and oils – Seungmin looked at her.
“You won’t say anything, will you?” he pleaded.
“Your secret is safe with me…but can I get a picture and an autograph? I really like your music and performances” Seungmin would do it for free but knowing that silence was also included, he did it with more delight. He loved when people appreciated him for his artistry and it was always great meeting respectful fans.
Hyunjin looked at him, fearful, only now having realised what had transpired. Seungmin grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed. It was okay.
Hyunjin relaxed and they both enjoyed the spa treatment; even Seungmin who was adamant about it.
Maybe they should get more couple sessions in the future. They clearly both needed it.
Fortunately, they were relaxed but not so relaxed that they had a car accident driving back.
All in all, a good trip even counting asshole-manager-nim hitting on his manager.
----
At first, the fake couple thing was out of necessity and it still was sometimes but it also became a habit. The weeks leading to the 14 th of March saw them being a ‘couple’ countless times. Whether it was to get a benefit or to avoid a burden, being a ‘couple’ just made sense since they were already a well-tuned duo. To Seungmin at least. Hyunjin still blinked every time and nearly gave them away but his acting skills were improving probably due to the countless dramas that he watched.
Hyunjin’s foot and ribs may not forgive him all the stomping and elbowing he had to do in order to maintain their covers. Because they had multiple ones. They were a ‘couple’ but also ‘not famous’.
“I’m not famous!” Hyunjin had told him when he said exactly that.
“Course you are. Did you see your fancams and fansites?”
“What? NO!...Did you see them?”
“Of course. You were voted ‘hottest manager’ by fans recently. You won by a wide margin” he said proudly because he had asked his own fans to vote when Hyunjin was not supervising him, then when he saw Hyunjin’s face fall he added “But if there was a poll for most efficient and organised manager, you’ll win to. At least in my heart”
Hyunjin smiled. “Good. So you won’t take it personally when I tell you to hurry and change right? Because we’re late or about to be if you don’t hurry. Chop chop”
Seungmin changed in record time and he got to see Hyunjin smile proudly again.
“Where to?”
“You got a boring interview after here then a social media one with games. They did their research and asked me several questions so I hope it will be fun. Then we have to go to the torture session at the gym but on the way there, you should practice your Japanese. I got you your flashcards and bought you a comic and a short poetry book which are both fun but you can use them in interviews since they’re contemporary. One has characters and they always ask something related to that or you can mimic them. The poetry is currently very hot so you can show off your amazing literary skills. You should also eat your lunch on the way to the gym but not too much that you’ll feel sick. Got you a protein shake as well.”
Hyunjin always impressed him. The day for him was made up of blocks of time and activities which can be rearranged at a minute notice but always managed to fit everything in. He took care that Seungmin didn’t overdo it but he also made sure he was well-prepared so that he never got stuck in public; at least not anything deal-breaking. He pushed him to be better while taking care of him.
Seungmin had the certainty that should Hyunjin’s job be on the line and management would ask him to push him more than he was able to give; Hyunjin would quit and call a lawyer to pull Seungmin out of the contract stating a dangerous environment. Hyunjin had his back and they were a great team because he had his as well.
If he moved company, his manager would come with him even if he had to fight the company to release him of his duties.
So they studied and read together in the car. Seungmin had a great two minutes’ reward when Hyunjin lost at rock-paper-scissors (he always lost) and had to recite a poem out loud. His cute lisp and stutters made something deep into something else entirely. Seungmin got to eat another carefully planned meal – because he was on a diet plan and actually, when Hyunjin had rolled the eggrolls, he had broken that plan but Seungmin often broke it himself anyway because he liked to think of it as a guideline not as a golden rule - and when they arrived for the torture session at the gym, Hyunjin predictably cited tiredness and he sat down listening to music from his own device because gym music was horrible. He got a crossword book out too either in hopes of deterring potential disturbances or because he genuinely enjoyed untangling the mess.
Seungmin did not like working out and was just thankful that dancing gave him muscles as a by-product. However, he still needed to solidify his muscles and he chose to top-up through pain in hopes that with strong muscles, he’ll be hurt less on stage.
Seungmin was already in pain so he really didn’t need to see this.
The new personal trainer hitting on Hyunjin who clearly just wanted to finish his crossword.
He should be cross and have a word with the other about personal space but instead he shifted on his seat so much that he nearly slid out of the chair.
“No really, I don’t want a personal session. I’m fine. I’m just waiting for someone” Hyunjin said.
“Aww how cute, aigoo, you were waiting for me?” the trainer asked.
“No, no. Erm, I’m going to go back to my crossword. You wouldn’t happen to know another word for ‘wonder off’ would you? It’s five letters.”
Seungmin sighed. Hyunjin could have made that crossword prompt as a ‘fuck off’ but instead he was genuine, not wanting to make someone’s day worse. As great as Hyunjin was at work, he really needed to stop being so kind and afraid to let people down. It’s why he was great at his job, really! He tried to accommodate everything and everyone.
“Don’t strain your brain. Strain your muscles instead. What do you say cutie?” and the trainer leaned in so Hyunjin’s personal space was restricted to five centimetres and Seungmin saw red. He let the dumbbell down, else he yeet it at the guy’s face and instead strode to them.
“Listen here you great bitch bastard. He said he's not interested and although his ‘No’ should have been enough, it clearly isn't so I suggest you leave before you anger this boyfriend more” He said, pointing at himself.
His flushed face, wide eyes and frown must be scary because the guy ran off from where he came from (the staff room with a closed door).
“Seungmin! You can’t go about using such language!” Hyunjin chided.
Deep breathes. In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out. Repeated seven times.
“Sorry, you’re right. It’s just that people need to understand consent and why does this happen so often to you?” he asked.
“Why? Want to swap?”
“Trust me, if that happened to me, I’ll be front page news for at least assault.”
Hyunjin’s frown deepened. “Right. I’m going to schedule an extra therapy session and some anger management classes and I’m not joking. The world isn’t right but you’re hardly going to solve it with violence, at least not alone. Either organise or control yourself” Hyunjin preached.
Seungmin started to plan an organisation for people to leave Hyunjin alone. Then he got thinking and broadened it to people who experience assault.
“Do you think we can collaborate with an organisation? Give money or highlight their work? This isn’t okay. This is micro-aggression.”
Hyunjin smiled at him. “I’m sure your fabulous manager can arrange something. Also, wasn’t joking about those classes. Kindness is free but it goes a long way you know.”
“I know. But I do wish you were less kind to others and more kind to yourself. It’s harder for the situation itself to change. You shouldn’t let people take advantage of your kindness. You’re so resilient. If I were you, I would have changed a long time ago.” He admits.
It would be nice if Hyunjin could be kind to his heart’s content but Seungmin didn’t think that was possible.
“I’m not going to let them change me. It’s my win against the world. I’ll change out of my own will and for nothing else.”
Seungmin didn’t know what to say to that. Sometimes people change without realising. It was inevitable but the idealist in him (which always lost in comparison to his realist self) wished for that to be true.
“It’s s-t-r-a-y by the way. Your crossword answer”
At that, Hyunjin gasped, checked the crossword and filled it in with glee then he hugged him in celebration for the completion of his beloved crossword.
This feeling felt enough.
------
Hyunjin proved his work efficiency once more when there was a mix-up with some timings in his schedule. He was under the guidance of an external choreographer for a performance on a popular youtube channel and it was great but the choreographer had to travel that same day which would not usually be a problem but they moved the sound-check for another performance forward without telling anyone until an hour before, leaving everyone in a frantic state of panic because he had to learn the new choreography by that day but he also couldn’t miss sound check since he was singing live.
Hyunjin had the brilliant idea to film the choreographer explaining the moves – after a hastily drawn contract that the video will only be used for learning purposes and deleted after it was not needed; all done by Hyunjin – while Seungmin would go to sound check with another staff member. Hyunjin chose to stay behind so that he learns the rest of the dance or at the very least, ask follow-up questions and clarifications to the choreographer, knowing how Seungmin learned. Hyunjin would then rush to the concert venue where Seungmin was only performing two songs in the evening – hence why they had scheduled the choreographer on that day apart from it being one of the only days he could since he was very much in demand. They would later learn the choreography; it could be even left for the next day since that was blocked specifically for self-practice.
“Don’t rush too much. I don’t want to visit you in hospital or worse, have to organise your funeral” Seungmin said while he was wrapping his scrap hurriedly around his neck. Or was it Hyunjin’s? He couldn’t tell since they both had worn dark ones. In any case, it was a scarf and they would see each other after. Seungmin ignored the visceral panic that arose in him at just the thought of Hyunjin being hurt.
“Relax. I won’t rush but if I was in hospital you would visit me right? Also for my funeral, I would want lilies and Mozart. You know just in case”
Hyunjin fixed his hood under the scarf and smiled at him. “Good luck!”
Seungmin barely had time to narrow his eyes at the other’s words. Time was of essence and what followed in the next 45 minutes seemed something out of a car chase movie. Seungmin felt like throwing up so once the car had come to a halt and a few seconds later so had his stomach, he drank a bit of the apple juice which along with honey was a staple in their on-the-go food bag. Hyunjin was always taking care of him even if from a distance.
Sound check went just fine. It was boring but for a sound check, that was actually five-stars. It meant there were no problems that they needed to iron although Seungmin couldn’t help but feel like that meant that the problems would show up while he was performing.
Hyunjin arrived just before his performance started, rosy-cheeked and sweaty, visibly tired from dancing but happy with the fact they managed to pull it off. At least half of it; the half that Hyunjin organised. The other half was up to Seungmin and he made sure to give quite a performance. At the end, he dedicated his performances that night to his staff ‘especially my amazing manager who sometimes I think can manage the whole Universe but instead he chose to manage my career and for that I am ever grateful’.
When he gets backstage, he’s hit by one weeping manager who hugs him close and buries his head in Seungmin’s chest. Through sobs and sniffles, he manages to thank him and tell him not to be so cheesy or he’ll become dehydrated.
After the concert, they had to stay on because the TV channel wanted to interview him and they were going to shoot some game segments as well. It was quite late but recordings sometimes went on all night so he was used to it.
When they got out, it was actually another day and they crashed in Hyunjin’s company car. Better that than an accident. The next morning, they of course were feeling sore; both of them were too tall for the tiny seats even though they had taken a row each but Hyunjin drove them to Seungmin’s place and then he made them undergo some yoga and Pilates session. It was strange how he did meditation, yoga and pilates when he hated the gym. Seungmin thought that they were also torture sessions. Then he ordered Seungmin to take a shower while he prepared breakfast before he helped him fully learn the choreography.
Hyunjin spoiled him too much.
-----
It was the cusp of spring…and it felt like it…sometimes. When the weather felt like it. Spring was transitory between winter and summer and as a child of both, it resembled both.
He found Hyunjin shivering outside, frowning at the sky as if it had personally offended him.
“There was sun” he pouted at Seungmin once he slid next to him.
“Dear manager-nim, sun and heat are not synonymous”
Hyunjin had gone out at the first glance of sun to bask in its rays. Not wanting to see Hyunjin’s disappointed face anymore, he opened his own very big and very warm jacket and held it open for the other who hesitated for a second before he scooted further and cuddled chest to chest with Seungmin, hands trapped between them.
“Are my abs toasty enough?” he teased.
“Like a chocolate bar turned hot chocolate”
“What are you even saying?” he giggled.
“I don’t know…the cold froze my brain”
Amused, he directed the other to get up so they could go in where there were warm blankets and windows that would keep the cold out.
They were holed up in a cabin at the very edge between urbanisation and woods meaning that they were near the carpark in case something happened. Seungmin hoped to write an album all by himself or at least, that he’ll be credited in all the songs because he did imagine other composers and lyricists from the company would chip in to make it better. Artistic direction in his work was something he had been fighting for and thankfully, his company was on-board though it was not always possible because other full-time composers and songwriters sometimes just had better ideas that matched a particular concept better and that were easier to market.
This time, he wanted to not only have input but get those royalties in. Being an idol was not as profitable as some people thought but in the end it was a long-term investment that did not feel like one since he enjoyed it.
Hyunjin motivated him to write some more and then compose some tunes. He was of course also present to bounce ideas by.
The sun made an appearance again and Hyunjin’s head immediately tilted to it.
‘ A sunflower, wanting lilies.
The butterflies came on their own’
Seungmin wrote.
Evening crawled slowly, the days actually longer and more leisurely in the woods. Wi-fi blessed be however because Seungmin found a great activity. Smiling, he got up from his seat. Joints creaked and maybe Hyunjin was onto something with his craze about yoga and pilates but he’ll do some exercises later in secret. For now, he told the other to get dressed nicely.
“Why?” he frowned.
“We’re going out and don’t worry, it’s nothing that management would disapprove of” he explained.
“But…I’m management”
“You know what I mean. The company’s management, not you. You wouldn’t disapprove if I went to a strip club.”
“Well…if everyone was consenting and no one was coerced I don’t see a problem. Are we going to a strip club?”
Seungmin snorted and shook his head, immediately dismissing the very idea of them in a strip club. Knowing people, they would probably flock and crowd them because of Hyunjin and he bet that at least a few people would think him a stripper (or wish him to be) even though Hyunjin never quite dressed like the typical stripper. That would probably excite them more.
Where they ended up going was a music hall at the nearest town.
Hyunjin stood in the lobby, confused but fascinated by the architecture so Seungmin left him there, hoping no one would bother him while he made the five-minute journey to the nearest thankfully still open flower shop in three.
He sped walked rather than running, the flowers in his hands were beautiful but delicate and he took great care in not damaging them.
“There you are. Where did you run off to?” Hyunjin wasn’t like other staff members who babied him or sheltered him or stifled him. He believed in Seungmin’s freedom although of course he worried that something would happen if he was on his own. Yet, the small town reassured him and lulled him perhaps into a false sense of security so now he was only curious why he had been abandoned in the lobby of a music hall in a town he was not familiar with.
“Sorry, I had to go get these” Seungmin raised his hand so that the flowers would be more visible though they were hardly difficult to miss in their orange, pink and white brilliance.
“Oh wow. Do you know one of the artists here?” Hyunjin asked, eyes roaming over the bouquet.
“Yes I do. He goes by the name of Hwang Hyunjin and his stage name is little Valentine ferret”
“Am I performing something? Please tell me this is not a candid camera” Hyunjin looked genuinely worried and Seungmin felt slightly bad for all the times that he had played small practical jokes which he thought were insignificant but which now he realised marred their trust or at the very least, gave Hyunjin trust-issues and made him a tad paranoid.
“Relax. Sorry. I know that doesn’t work that way. Anyway, you’re only in the audience today. Maybe one day you’ll be on stage. Maybe my encore? Anyway. I didn’t know what type of lilies you meant so I got these. The florist said they’re spider lilies, asiatic lilies and longiflorum lilies. For you.” He presented the flowers to the other and kept his hand there in anticipation of Hyunjin being too clumsy and dropping them. Once secure, he removed his hand and placed it in his pocket. The plastic wrap had made his hands sweaty and he wiped them on the inside of the fabric.
“Is it my birthday? Did I forget?” Hyunjin asked.
“No silly, you didn’t forget again and this year I’ll make sure to remind you. Mozart and lilies remember? You said you’d like them for your funeral but well, you don’t need to die to enjoy things that give you pleasure.”
A ta-da gesture complimented the explanation and finally, Hyunjin seemed to realise they were in a music hall.
“Mozart?” he asked, hopeful.
He squealed when Seungmin nodded, then he got dragged to the counter. Good thing he had the tickets open at the ready on his phone.
“We have a membership discount for couples sirs” the green-haired teen with clearly open-minded views that should normally seem out of place in a classical music hall but strangely didn’t, told them. “Would you like to become members for a year? We have a variety of programmes throughout the whole year for a variety of genres.”
You know what? This small town with great taste and views could become their breakdown (or ideally breakdown prevention) retreat.
“Sure. How much is it? We love music” Seungmin cheekily said.
Hyunjin turned to him, a ‘really?’ expression on his face but then he sighed and went to grab his wallet and Seungmin couldn’t have that since this was his idea so he rushed to get his own wallet without bothering to wait for an answer. Thankfully, the discount was a proper one not like 10% off but a whole whopping 40%!
The hall was mostly empty; mainly populated by Hyunjin’s pout. He looked really cute stomping delicately while holding flowers. His expression completely changed when he took in the baroque style of the hall and then from wonder it changed to awe as the programme started. It was only one hour; but one hour well spent.
------
Hyunjin’s mother was at it again. Hyunjin’s pained expression was testament enough even though he could not tell what they were talking about.
That is until the call was over and Seungmin received a message from said manager’s mother telling him that Hyunjin liked milk chocolate best.
‘I realise you probably know that but considering how private he can be; I’m making sure you give him his favourite for White’s day’.
Ah right, White’s day was days away and after that it would be Hyunjin’s birthday. They had returned from the cabin well refreshed and inspired. Hyunjin had come up with a whole marketing plan for his new album and even though it was neither his job nor his expertise, Seungmin would push the company to implement it. From his end, Seungmin had enough material for a couple of albums but he’ll be content with just one.
Hyunjin had gifted him chocolates and a fabulous meal which he still dreamed about. He couldn’t gift the other a home cooked meal but he can book someplace nice and buy him white chocolate for White’s day. How fitting. Of course he knew the other’s preferences; he even knew the brand of his preferred chocolate because he sometimes caught him smiling even just looking at it.
“Hey Hyunjin?”
“Yes?” the other looked up from his desk where they were currently both going through some contracts. They liked to read them before seeking actual legal advice. The other’s mother had interrupted them but in less than 10 seconds, Hyunjin was focused back on them.
“What are you doing this White’s day?”
“White’s day? Nothing. I’m not seeing anyone you know”
“Want to do something together? Fight the loneliness?”
Hyunjin suddenly blushed and started stammering. “You want …to like…erm”
“I want to repay the great food you made for me on Valentine’s. Only fair”
Suddenly, Hyunjin paled, then greened up but he didn’t say anything. Seungmin sighed and nodded as if to acknowledge his incompetence.
“Don’t worry, I’m not cooking. I’m taking you out”
Hyunjin regained the blush.
“Oh gosh, I haven’t been on a date in so long! Not that this is a date! Just you know, going out in general.”
“It can be a friend's date” Seungmin winked, knowing full well he was hot when he did it.
“And why would I go on a friend's date with you? I have standards” Hyunjin snobbily pointed his nose up. It was ruined (or made cuter) with a giggle soon after.
“Your standards are zero. Not because it’s anything goes but because nothing goes on” he teased.
Hyunjin sighed “You’re right. You take up so much of my mind”
“Well then, good the date is with me. Dress fancy. I know you like it.”
Hyunjin did like to dress comfortably and he owned many comfortable clothes – some of which were brand deals originally given to Seungmin then passed along – but he also enjoyed dressing like he was about to hit the catwalk. In fact, some people had approached him for modelling to which he had hidden behind Seungmin and told them he worked for him and that they should totally repeat that offer to him.
Jeongin, listening in, had pointed out it was not a mutually exclusive choice. Hyunjin had been blond then; Seungmin black-headed. They would have contrasted so well.
“So, what do you say?”
“Any chance you’ll let me pay my share?”
“What sort of date would I be if I invited you and made you pay?”
“Well…no then”
“Not even if it’s the greatest carbs to ever exist from that Italian restaurant you make eyes at every time you even see their advert?” Seungmin was pulling in all the strong cards. He knew that they may be fully-booked…but he also knew he had strings he could pull. He usually didn’t but well…Hyunjin would love that restaurant.
He could just imagine Dispatch ‘Kim Seungmin bribes restaurant for White’s Day dinner with…hottie manager’.
Faced with such blatant bribery, Hyunjin gave in. He continued reading the contacts with a smile on his face and Seungmin didn’t think that was because there were favourable terms.
Seungmin thought of himself as generous…most of the time…in some cases. This time he was extra generous. He got two boxes of Hyunjin’s favourite chocolate and it wasn’t because they were on a two-for-one offer. Actually, in light of White’s day, he had the high suspicion that shops increased the prices but at least one perk of his fame was the money that it came with which while not as big as some net worth websites claimed, allowed him to live comfortably and not depend on instant ramen and knock-off chocolate.
When he saw Hyunjin, who insisted meeting at a park nearby because he drew the line at being picked up (too much like an actual date for him) or picking Seungmin up (too much like work on a free evening…they had just separated two hours before) his jaw helped to clean the pavements of Seoul because he was salivating as it hit the ground. Hyunjin looked stunning; he always did even in sweatpants and hoodies and unshowered for two days while they holed themselves up in the studio but today he looked radiant. Bright yellow shirt with lace details and lilac trousers and navy blue socks: a stark contrast and so cheerful.
He had a bloody white ribbon flapping in his hair.
And he was wearing cute heart-shaped candy bracelets which he was 100% sure the other did himself as a stress relief.
His heart had never beat so hard and so fast; not even when he had been on Running Man.
Maybe it was high-time he did that yearly check-up two years later than Hyunjin had been hassling him to.
“Can we take a photo to send to my mother?” Hyunjin asks after greeting each other as two people who had just seen each other on the day – with a brief smile, not even a ‘hey’.
Eyes roving around them, Seungmin spotted a nice camellia shrub whose colours (the pink not the green) he wanted painted on Hyunjin’s cheeks. The colour would look even better washed on Hyunjin’s cheeks than on the pretty flowers. He dragged the other there and let Hyunjin take the photo; not only because it was more convenient since it was for his mother but also because Hyunjin had the taller arms.
Looking at the photos, they were both smiling. Seungmin at the back with Hyunjin in front of him, bending a little. The photos looked lovely; sentimental but they were also all…
“Hyunjin. I know these are just for your mother but they’re blurry!”
“I can’t help having the shakes!”
“Just take a deep breath, take the photo then release it!”
Seungmin was a bit of a photo snob on account of taking a photography online course during lockdown.
“You take the photos then” and then huffing, Hyunjin trusts his phone in his chest. Great start to a date…but he did take admittedly better photos and Hyunjin demurely looked between the photo and him. “Okay fine, they’re better” he finally admitted.
“Send them all to me; including your attempt at unedited ‘guess what photo is this’”
Hyunjin gently hit his arm but he sent him the photos then and there. Bless company paid phones.
He would change his wallpaper but his phone was often subject to scrutiny so instead, he made a mental note to change his email’s background. No one bothered with those.
They walked to the restaurant where they had the best private table which had fortunately not been booked yet (on account of the reservation price but Hyunjin need not know that). No bribe necessary. They gorged on some bruschetta and other small starters and then they each had a plate of pasta that they would dream about for nights to come. Lastly, they had to end with some tiramisu and they even tried their hand at espresso…but both grimaced and asked for an Americano to the horror of the actual Italian servers. No wine was consumed because the next day was a normal work day.
They walked slowly…because while athletes consumed pasta before running, it for sure was not for them and they just felt like statues that came to life.
“Do you still have space left for food?” Seungmin asked. The chocolates sat in his car (under a towel under the seat so they don’t melt). He didn’t feel like making a big deal out of giving them to the other in public but now he wanted to surprise him.
“For what exactly? I’m bloated”
“The sexy kind”
Hyunjin blushed “Seungmin! I don’t put out on the first date”
They both snorted.
“Well, this isn’t the first one” he winked “but I meant chocolate”
“I always have space for chocolate!”
“Even when you’re on a diet?”
“Well…if I am on a diet, I would have more space for it! It just remains empty”
Seungmin thought that was one of the saddest things he’d ever heard in his life. It was even sadder than the lost opportunity to collaborate with IU because he tested positive.
“Well then let’s go to yours and I can give you chocolate”
“Is this like a prank?”
“When have I ever pranked you?”
“That time you told me that Park Jinyoung was cameoing in a drama but weren’t sure which episode so I watched the whole season only to realise you meant the other Park Jinyoung not the love of my life. You traumatised me for life.” Hyunjin hadn’t even needed a second to think about that. He must have really traumatised him enough that it was always at the foremost row in his mind.
“Well then nothing like chocolate to fight trauma. I’ll take my car, you take yours”
Hyunjin’s apartment was as bright as him even in the receding light of evening turning into night.
Hyunjin’s eyes shone just as brightly when he saw the familiar packages. He opened one immediately and placed the shell shaped chocolate to melt on his tongue; moaning and closing his eyes and looking as if he was enjoying what Hyunjin had first understood with ‘the sexy kind’.
Seungmin’s sex life (or lack thereof unless you counted his hand) really needed some sprucing if he was thinking of Hyunjin in that way. Not that he didn’t have a tiny crush on the other. Or that he didn’t respect him still. Or that the other wasn’t total crush material but well, Seungmin was at a loss of what to do with the sudden realisation that his crush wasn’t as tiny as he thought. All because Hyunjin moaned.
He lost a bit of self-respect right then and there.
Of all the things because of that?
Hyunjin seemed unaware of Seungmin’s less than pure thoughts but still worked on his agenda to purify Seungmin with an offer of homemade hot chocolate with the chocolates Seungmin had just gifted him.
“It’s great you bought two. More to enjoy!”
Hyunjin hummed as he puttered in his kitchen, adding a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg and melting the white chocolate and adding milk.
Seungmin would really enjoy chocolate if it came with a side of Hyunjin.
Wait.
What?
Hyunjin’s purifying agenda was failing. Hyunjin’s exorcism agenda for Seungmin’s turmoil however failed on account of Seungmin feeling too much in his regard. Even the other being super cute did not work. Seungmin still wanted to protect him but he kind of wanted to wreck him too…huh?
“Bathroom. I need to go to your bathroom” Seungmin coughed, feeling himself blush.
“Why are you telling me? My home is your home” thankfully the other did not look back or he would have seen the embarrassing chicken run that Seungmin did because guess what he was?
Hard.
Couldn’t it wait while he was home alone? Didn’t he give it much attention? (No, he actually didn’t. He was too busy and exhausted at the end of his working day).
Seungmin’s sainthood which he didn’t ever have was tested that evening when Hyunjin suggested the other stays over. He agreed, wanting to gift the other the gift of more sleep but then Hyunjin would not hear anything about sleeping on the couch.
“Seungmin, we shared a bed a few days ago! My bed is actually bigger than that hotel bed. Neither of us is getting back pain from my lovely but not good-to-sleep-on couch”. Why were so many couches not fit for sleep? It’s like they were not meant to be slept in…blasphemy.
Hyunjin lived in a one-bedroom apartment. His parents lived nearby so he didn’t need a guest room. They had shared beds in the past and not just thanks to manager asshole. In their culture, beds were just a place to sleep in so it was common to share. I mean other stuff too but that was not the primary thought. Seungmin could always wrap a quilt around himself and have privacy that way.
Despite it being innocent and normal, Seungmin had less than innocent thoughts and he just hoped that his resting face helped to hide his thoughts. Hyunjin deserved better than to be objectified in that manner.
“What’s up with you?” Hyunjin asked as Seungmin fidgeted with his book. He lived on the go so he always had some necessities in his car and his day bag. He also lived through Hyunjin so the other had necessities packed and ready for him.
“Stressed for tomorrow” he said, since he was recording a collab tomorrow, it was plausible.
“Oh. Why didn’t you say? Want a massage?” the other offered. In bed. Together.
“NO!” he shouted and nearly bolted from the bed. “I mean, it will probably stress me more when I can’t relax. Let’s just go to bed”
“But you haven’t read anything yet or wrote in your journal” the other knew he always liked to read and write before bed if he could help it but today he had other worries.
“I think I had enough realisations for today already”
Hyunjin was of course confused but he agreed to go to bed. In his teddy bear pyjamas.
He couldn’t believe he was having sex-filled thoughts about someone with teddy bear pyjamas.
------
Seungmin accepted his newfound lust rather easily after a few thought-filled showers and lots of bullet journal pages. The feelings weren’t that different from his usual feelings; he had thought of Hyunjin in that way at least in an abstract manner and he had had a tiny crush on him since almost the beginning. The fact that he wanted to take Hyunjin’s clothes off with his teeth did not affect their relationship.
Waking up near Hyunjin had given him flutters and he could focus on that rather than his morning wood which was thankfully stifled with a quilt.
Hyunjin, bless him, had made him sort-of heart-shaped pancakes with strawberry jam. The collab went well and learning the new choreography for it was fun.
“I just wish that you get a ballroom concept. I would love to learn some ballroom type dances” Hyunjin told him as they were on the elevator down to hell aka the producers’ realm.
“You can always attend some classes. If you can’t afford them tell me and we speak to management to increase your salary. God knows how much you deserve it.” Seungmin thought that he was perpetually underpaid because how would you quantify how much he helped Seungmin? It was priceless.
“It’s not the price. For those types of dances, you need a partner. I don’t want to dance with a stranger.” The other leaned in against the wall, staring at his own reflection in the gleaming metal.
“I’ll come with you. I’ll gladly be your partner” he said enthusiastically.
“Really? Are you sure?”
He was sure of anything that made Hyunjin’s voice sound that hopeful. Even space domination.
“I would like to learn too” Was it a lie? Only partially. He knew only the basics and he was sure it could be interesting but that was not his main reason. “I would really like to be your partner Hyunjin”
The elevator door opened and out stepped a beaming Jisung.
“You two finally got your shit together?” he asked quickly.
They both stared at him.
“Um, you mean for ballroom dancing? Yes, I think I’ll take some lessons. Seungmin offered to be my partner. Has he also spoken to you about wanting lessons? It has been a while since I told you, hasn’t it?”
Now it was Jisung that looked confused and Seungmin blessed the stars for Hyunjin’s good-natured character that always thought the best of people and sometimes misunderstood double-meanings.
Jisung opened his-big-problematic mouth, probably to tell Hyunjin he had misunderstood but Seungmin made a cut-throat hand motion from where he was still sheltered behind the elevator. But Jisung was too much like Hyunjin and he misinterpreted.
“Sureeeeee. Ballroom dance partners” an obnoxious wink. Was that how he looked like when he did it? He hoped not. He’ll never wink again in his life. “I totally believe you. Anyway, going up to see my honeybunch baby. See you later!”
“Hey Jisung, the vending machine on this floor is broken so you may need to find a replacement” Seungmin lied. He had to at least have this last word and he hoped that Jisung fell for it just so that he needed to go on another floor for his sweet-tooth because surely his honeybunch alone could not sustain him.
Yes, Jisung and Minho were that annoyingly sweet couple (surprisingly it was not Changbin and Felix who were affectionate but not embarrassing) and Seungmin had the distinct feeling that by the end of the day everyone would know that Hyunjin and Seungmin were ballroom dance partners. That combined with Valentine’s Day (since Jeongin and Felix knew) would surely spread some lovely rumours in the company’s gossip mill. He just hoped everyone had enough sense to not inform management.
Seungmin didn’t want to have a chat with them and he certainly would not stand to lose Hyunjin.
But backtracking was not an option. He couldn’t bear seeing Hyunjin’s face fall.
“Just book us a few classes and let me know when. You know my schedule better than me so I’m sure I won’t have any clashes.” he said as they started to walk again, hoping that Changbin and Chan had less energy than Jisung but still enough to not be in zombie mode.
“Um, maybe there is something that I don’t know you have? Like, you know, a date? It’s okay if you do! Won’t tell management. Or perhaps you’re meeting your friends? Felix?” Seungmin had a lot of friends but he hardly ever saw any of them apart from Felix or the ones he basically worked with. Seungmin liked meeting new and old acquaintances but he had little time and privacy so he organised (thanks to Hyunjin…what would he do without him?) a few get-togethers a year and met everyone at once. It was fun; they had games and snacks and alcohol and generally had a good time but sometimes, Hyunjin kept away or didn’t show up stating that ‘I’ll remind you too much of work.’ Or ‘This way you can shit talk about work’ or ‘We basically live in each other’s pockets. It’s good to have some distance’ only Seungmin always felt a pang because he didn’t want distance and he wanted to shit talk about work with Hyunjin. Hyunjin didn’t remind him of work; he made work more bearable and even fun; work was always enjoyable to him.
“Hyunjin…who would I date? I already have a sweet Valentine who I spend money on and Felix, actually I should see when he’s free but otherwise no plans. I can meet him when I’m not doing the tango with you” He smirked and delighted in seeing Hyunjin raise and put down his shoulders in defeat.
“You speak like that and people will misunderstand. Anyway, I’m paid enough by the agency you don’t need to spend money on me”
“But you’re worth it”
“Of course I am. Actually, I’m worth so much more than that”
Good, Hyunjin knew his worth.
“So you’re worth a couple of ballroom dance classes then? Good. Actually, book one for next Sunday” and he sauntered off, all of two steps in front of the other. He held the door open for him so Hyunjin went in first. “Cause you’re worth it”
“I’m not an ad for L’Oreal”
“You could be with that hair”
-------
“Hello class, welcome to today’s lesson about basic Foxtrot! I hope you enjoy it”
Hyunjin was practically vibrating next to him, his feet restless and his hands shaking. Seungmin was vibrating too, bouncing on his feet as a warm up even though everyone looked at him strangely. It was a habit he’d developed before stages to shake the anxiety off but now he did it to be attuned to Hyunjin. They should be attuned shouldn’t they? For the dance floor.
Hyunjin always noticed when something was off or wrong with him – in fact he had been looking at him strangely for avoiding looking at Hyunjin too much since he felt so much about it now or at least he was more aware. Seungmin in turn was attuned to Hyunjin’s habits and needs. Hyunjin looked a bit parched? There Seungmin was with some water. Hyunjin squinted his eyes? He made sure to get him a cap. Hyunjin coughed? A mask and some lozenges were on the way before the cough was over. Of course, most often than not, Hyunjin was the one to pack these things in their bags so it was only a matter of finding them.
“So partner up and let’s practise” their instructor clapped. The couples were of different genders. He was sure that Hyunjin had found a queer inclusive space that was not too evident about it for Seungmin’s career sake. At least they were not the only same gender couple to grace the floor – and it really was grace because even though Seungmin had missed the entire explanation about the interesting history of Foxtrot, he had tuned in for the technique part and after countless years of dance practice; he was a quick study.
“And one and two and three and four” and the lovely honeyed vocals started playing and they started dancing.
Hyunjin smiled, face facing sideways “Those vocals could be you”
Three steps, a feather step and a reverse turn. A natural weave, hover cross and a feather finish. The two glided gracefully on the wooden floor. Hyunjin was taller but he bent his back backwards on Seungmin’s hands so they were roughly the same height. It was sensual and did Seungmin’s head in but most of all it was heady. The music was inspiring him. Maybe he should do an old school song cover or come up with a nice song for his fans. A song that they can dance to. He believed that mixing genres and learning more styles lead to a rejuvenation of his work.
At the end of the class they were barely sweaty, too used to speedier dances.
The teacher came up to them and for once he seemed hesitant.
“Are you by any chance Kim Seungmin?” he whispered so the other class attendees do not listen in. Seungmin appreciated that.
At Seungmin’s nod he beamed. “I sometimes use your songs for other classes. I love your music. Are you taking extra classes for a comeback?” he whispered and with a gleam that indicated he was proud that someone like him had attended his class. He was a good teacher and seemed respectful, so of all teachers, he was glad to have him as well. It was a nice mutual relationship and he always harboured great respect for interactions with other professionals even though they were not idols. They appreciated the artistry much more.
“No, Hyunjin just wanted classes but I feel inspired so who knows, maybe I’ll come up with something”
The teacher turned to Hyunjin who had made himself into a pretty wallflower once more. Thankfully, the teacher – Hwanwoong-ssi, didn’t look at Hyunjin like some men tended to do (rather sleazily) instead he smiled, nodded and told him he had danced quite well which perked Hyunjin up just like a flower. The three of them could feel the I-know-you’re-queer-and-thank-you-for-the-representation feeling that he sometimes experienced. Knowing they weren’t alone, even though they didn’t come out to each other, was an interesting feeling.
“Well, thank you for joining my class and I hope to see you again.”
“Oh we will. We’ve booked at least another four classes. Hwanwoong-ssi, when will we get to the tango? Hyunjin really wants to do it” he cheekily smiled, earning a light hit to the arm.
“He’s a liar, teacher. He’s the one that really wants to tango” and then, predictably, Hyunjin got caught up in his words and reddened up trying to backtrack what had sounded like a sexual innuendo (which was the reason why Seungmin had brought it up because he felt safe enough so he let his I’m-a-little-shit out since he wasn’t sure when he could again).
Hwanwoong laughed at them.
“Well, you can do horizontal tango whenever but for vertical one, it will be after classic Waltz, Cha Cha and Samba. So it should be on your last class here.”
“I have a feeling that it won’t be our last. Thank you for the great class”
Hwanwoong bowed and thanked them in turn and left them without asking a single thing so Seungmin made it a point to bring him a signed album next time with a personalised note appreciating his dancing and teaching abilities.
“So, when should we practise some more?” he asked.
Hyunjin stopped from tying his slippers on. “Practise?”
“Well yes. A two-hour dance class is not enough. We should practise and I have a feeling I want to create some special performances for my youtube channel and songs. What do you think?”
Hyunjin’s face transformed instantly into work-mode. “That would be original and unexpected. We need to find you a partner”
“Not you?”
“Seungmin…that’s not a great idea. Besides I hate being on camera”
For all his selfies and confidence in himself, Hyunjin really did not seek the spotlight which was a shame because it really suited him.
Seungmin accepted that for now , the idea of Hyunjin dancing with him for a performance (that was not that encore stage that he got him to agree for his next win) would be shelved. But only temporarily. If Hyunjin could be stubborn, Seungmin would out-stubborn him.
“Well let’s go. The botanical garden awaits us.”
“Botanical garden?” Hyunjin asked not knowing what had hit him.
“Yes. The butterfly garden. You like butterflies right?”
It was cute how Hyunjin was so confused, even thinking he had forgotten a shoot.
“Happy birthday Hyunjinnie”
Hyunjin gasped and face palmed. Skin slapping skin had stragglers staring at them before looking away once more.
“I told you to remind me!”
“I am reminding you now”
“You were supposed to remind me before.”
“I never agreed on those terms. But I did agree to get you to the venue for your surprise birthday party”
“You monster. Did you just ruin my surprise?”
Of course, Hyunjin’s actual surprise was a song performed together by all his friends.
----
Efficient Hyunjin did it again. He found them four hours during the week to practise what they were learning despite Seungmin’s packed schedule thanks to a looming comeback. It was a great idea because they both got to de-stress.
For Seungmin, being so close to the other that at times he felt his pulse, was the best part. Being in the sphere of Hyunjin’s smile and giggles was magnetic. He loved when they created something together. In a way, it felt a bit like making love because wasn’t that supposed to be about love, trust, movement and creation – and he didn’t mean children but creation of emotions, connections. If so, they have been making love for four years. Hyunjin gave him a couple of orgasms as well, even though he didn’t know about it.
“And that’s a wrap!” Hyunjin clapped, sounding very much like a dance instructor. Samba was energising and it involved a lot of turns and some hip motions which left Seungmin dizzy and he didn’t think it was because of all the turns.
“Your tango next week. Excited?”
Seungmin was always excited to spend time with the other, especially if it was while dancing, but tango he especially looked forward to. His grandmother used to watch a lot of old films and musical theatre – perhaps it had inspired him in his career choice – so apart because he really wanted to see Hyunjin’s moves, it had a special place in his heart.
“Very. Hey should we get lun-”
He was interrupted by his very handy but very annoying ringtone. Hyunjin had changed it to Jisung’s recorded screeching a few months ago as retaliation for not telling him his make-up had run down and made him look like a raccoon while they were outside. Seungmin didn’t change it because while annoying, it was effective at making him pick up like it was a race for his own sanity because it was.
“Noona hello…no I didn’t forget. Ah…I will let you know. No. Yes. I know. Don’t stress”
His sister was getting married. It was a lot of pressure. That wasn’t an assumption; it was fact. He had seen it first hand when he visited and he heard enough background information when on the phone with his parents or her to know to stay away. Seungmin was thankful he may never get married but if he did, he wanted a laid-back wedding just so he didn’t end up stressing everyone around him.
He sighed.
“What’s wrong?” his perfectly attuned shadow asked.
“You know how my noona is getting married? She asked me to confirm a plus one. I don’t want to put anyone through that martyrdom since she’ll probably get us to do stuff and we can’t enjoy the celebrations but at the same time, I can’t stand the looks if I go there on my own. I’ve been solo to most family events apart from when I dragged Felix and it’s one thing for the public to look strangely at me but another when it’s my family” he admitted. He may not be as close to them as Hyunjin was to him but they were still one of his rocks and he didn’t want to shake that stability.
“What about me? I love weddings and we’ve been to many places together so it’s not strange and we can even practice those ballroom dances!” Go figure that Hyunjin would be into weddings.
“Did you hear that part about making us work?” he tried to save the other (and himself…because going to dates to the music hall in a small town every once in a while on a couple discount, and going to bakeries and getting that same discount and that weekend break they’ve both been eyeing was one thing but a wedding was quite another).
“Do you know me? I thrive off work or I wouldn’t work for you. No offence but I basically have no life and don’t look at me like that! I chose this so thank you for giving me a purpose.”
Seungmin’s heart made a somersault.
“You weirdo. Are you a masochist?” he joked.
“Maybe I am a bit yeah” Hyunjin said too earnestly and what was Seungmin supposed to do with that information apart from grab some cold water, whining when it wasn’t that cold and going to the bathroom to splash his face. The water felt sizzling as if he was lava instantly boiling it.
-----
“You can still make a run for it” He offered one last time.
“In these trousers? I can barely walk in them but they look great don’t they?”
The trousers looked shimmery, and painted on with enough leeway in the crotch area to still be considered decent by his aunties and uncles. His ass was another thing entirely and Seungmin’s shoes, previously squeaky clean and shining were already scuffed from all the tripping before they even stepped in the city hall.
Hyunjin had of course helped him to find a suitable suit. “You’re an idol and you don’t have a wedding suit?” Hyunjin refrained from asking which plebeian raised him up because he had too much respect for his parents. Instead, he judged him harshly. He had award show suits, borrowed and never returned or gifted by brands but award show suits tended to be … bombastic.
Seungmin’s family had been delighted when he confirmed he’ll have a plus one. Originally, he didn’t want to tell them who to allow Hyunjin to get away but Hyunjin had insisted.
“Don’t get too excited. It’s no one new. It’s Hyunjin” he had explained. He didn’t want to say ‘It’s just Hyunjin’ because Hyunjin was just nothing but he didn’t want his parents to build a dream castle wedding for him in their heads before they even went through their daughter’s.
“Oh Hyunjin! How lovely!” his mother strangely…seemed excited at her son showing up to a wedding with his manager. Was it because he would admittedly look good in photos? He felt a pang; he’d never seen his mother act so shallowly. Hyunjin was much more than arm candy.
He cut the call soon after and Hyunjin had dragged him present and suit shopping. “We cannot go empty handed!” “I’m helping to pay for the wedding! Do you know how expensive wedding receptions are?” “Still!” So not only did he give the traditional cash gift in a crisp white envelope and he helped to pay for the wedding, but they bought the bride and groom a key holder which was both useful and a symbol of their new life. Hyunjin had suggested that he write his sister a letter and he blamed it on him entirely that he ended up crying. He was close to his noona and while they didn’t see each other all that often, he’ll miss seeing her at their parents’ home when he visits. He put the letter with the cash hoping that she’ll treasure the words more than the money.
For a second when they stepped in the venue – late because he couldn’t move his schedule – he thought the attention would be stolen from the main couple but they both looked radiant and in love and soon enough, everyone’s gaze shifted back on them. Everyone but his mother’s.
“Hyunjin dear, you look great. I hope my son doesn’t overwork you.”
“Hello, Eomma. Nice to see you too and if anyone was to overwork the other, it would be Hyunjin. He’s a slave driver that gets me to finish my tasks early.”
“Good. God knows how you’ll cope without him.” She praised, flustering Hyunjin who tried to politely decline it.
“I won’t cope without him. Thankfully I don’t think he plans to resign.” Then in a flash of panic, he turned to the other “You’re not planning on quitting and moving to the Bahamas right?”
Hyunjin snorted, then fixed himself because they were in ‘polite company’. “Seungmin, if I want a vacation, I’ll ask you to take an extended break to work on your music and then we can vacation on the beach or mountains”
Seungmin had a feeling they would be vacationing soon.
“Maybe we can get the couple discount for that too”
Oh no. Had he really said that in front of his mother who had been hoping for him to settle down.
He turned in another flash – his neck was feeling the strain from all those whiplash movements – but he didn’t have enough time to explain.
“Wonderful indeed. I’m happy” and she looked so serene that he got tongue tied – being unused to seeing her like that – and then she, as the mother of the bride, was needed for wedding duties and he never quite managed to correct her assumption.
Hyunjin, bless him, was oblivious. At least he wasn’t all ‘Seungmin, how could you do that?’ which he heard at least three times a week these days. The last time had been when he had accidentally stomped on Hyunjin’s feet during a Cha Cha because Hyunjin had said that his own dancing was not good enough.
“So shall we go and get seats for the ceremony? Best to rest your feet now. I plan to wear you out on the dancefloor so be warned” It was good seeing his confidence in his dancing abilities grow.
The ceremony was beautiful. Seungmin's suit handkerchief came in handy and saved Hyunjin’s blouse’s sleeve. Even sniffling Hyunjin looked cute.
They danced the night away, took several photos and for once he saw Hyunjin get tipsy and on my god of course he was the affectionate drunk which got whiny when Seungmin so much as left a 30 centimetre gap between them.
“You’re too farrrrrr, come here. Come cuddle Hyunjinnie. Hyunjinnie needs attention. And more water probably. And to danceeeee. Ohhhhhh, it’s a waltz! Let’s go! We need to take some videos to send to teacher Hwanwoong. He’ll be so proud that we put his lessons to good use!”
“How about we put his lessons to further use and you dance with me for my channel?” he took the risk and asked. Was it ethical? Probably not but Hyunjin wasn’t that gone.
“Okay”
“Wait…really? Let me get my phone. Here. Hyunjin, do you swear to dance at least five dances in five different ballroom styles for my youtube channel?”
“Sure”
“Great! Amazing” who knew that what he needed was to get Hyunjin drunk. He could wear a mask or it can be an instructional video where he teased about his manager being his partner; he’ll protect the other but he so wanted to show him and their connection off. “Let’s get you some water and those pastries you’ve been eyeing…and don’t say anything about being on a diet. Then we can do some slow dances and take some videos. How about that?”
“Yes sir, as you command”
Dear god, was this punishment for getting him to agree on the dancing? Hyunjin would do him in one day. Here he was so whiny and pliant and radiant and exorbitant and drunk on life and a little drunk and Seungmin stared at him, not sure how he got so lucky.
----
“I hear congratulations are in order!” Chan cheerily said as they entered his studio where he wanted to show them a demo.
“Huh?” Seungmin asked his hyung while Hyunjin set primly down at the table and got his notebook and phone out to take notes.
“At first, when Jisung mentioned it I couldn’t believe it but then I heard it from Minhyuk who heard it from Eunkwang who was singing at your sister’s wedding and then I believed it. So how long have you two been together? According to Eunkwang you looked so lovely and in love! And you danced so well that you stole the show! How did the in-laws treat you Hyunjin? Oh, that’s one bad cough you have there. Let me get you some water and we can stop the chit-chat and get to business” Chan said as if he wasn’t the one who had started it. Then again, it was probably lonely in the basement (it was actually the third floor but they called it the basement known also as dungeon since the producers holed themselves up there) but Seungmin had forgotten how many connections and friends Chan had so he probably wasn’t lonely; just chatty.
“I’m going to murder Jisung” he said, because he had planted the seed and also because he had too much respect for Minhyuk hyung and Eunkwang hyung. And how exactly had he forgotten he had suggested him as the singer? How had he forgotten he was there? How had he not taken note of his angelic voice?
Hwang Hyunjin that’s how.
He tapped him on the back and rubbed it and his chest gently until the cough subsided and the blush rose.
----
The dumbass said it to the interviewer. ‘My boyfriend’. How idiotic could he be? Hyunjin was beside himself biting his lips, hoping that nothing compromising would come out of them.
In a series of never-ending cases, people kept bothering Hyunjin. The first person that bothered him hadn’t even gone away before the second one took their place…and so on. Some people had no shame at all!
This time it was a stylist and she just kept on pursuing Hyunjin while he had to be polite because they depended on her.
“Are you sure you cannot expand by one size? That way he’ll dance better and have less chance of ripping something”
“Sorry it won’t look as good. But you, you’d look good in anything”
“Um, thanks. I think Seungmin would look good in anything as well so one size won’t matter that much right?”
“Sorry sweetheart” Seungmin felt an unstoppable twitch in his right eye. “But I can’t. What I can do is make myself available this evening so you can take me out. How about that?”
She was pretty but evidently not getting the message that she was barking up the wrong tree.
“Noona” he finally snapped when she touched his arms and left her hand there “Can you please stop flirting with my boyfriend and get me a bigger size please. I’m not negotiating on either”
She stared wide-eyed at him and in the end, he had a bigger size. One too big and it hung precariously low on his hips. Hyunjin nearly had a heart attack but Seungmin had not backed down and that fancam broke records. As he got off stage, he glared at the stylist, head held-high.
“Please, never feel like you have to stay in an uncomfortable situation for me. Your safety matters more to me” he told Hyunjin while making plans on filing a harassment report for the stylist.
“I just don’t know how to tell them no” Hyunjin whispered “But it’s okay! She’s wasn’t that aggressive!”
“It was still unwanted. Admitting it is a first step. Anyway, I’m reporting her. If not you, she could have done it to someone else”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea...” Hyunjin trailed off but Seungmin was not budging on this.
“What if she had hit on me instead when she should have been a professional?”
“Right. Let’s report her but make a note she wasn’t violent or anything”
That was as far as he would agree so he nodded.
Of course, while they were making the report with the show’s management, someone else decided to hit on Hyunjin, telling him that he should consider it as a compliment because he was so beautiful and Seungmin had had enough.
“Either your show’s staff and management are professional or I’m asking my company to restrict any activities with you and I will make sure that we issue a statement about why. I hope you enjoy the media’s attention for claims of sexual harassment especially if in-built in the system itself and validated. I’m sure that after our statement is out, others will come forward with their own claims. So what will it be?” he didn’t leave the stammering manager to explain himself, he just turned on his heels and Hyunjin ran after him. He hadn’t shouted but Seungmin too had an aura that charmed and attracted people so they had of course been listening in and he made sure to make eye-contact with each and every single staff member he could see.
“Don’t even tell me that I shouldn’t have done that. You’re the most professional and organised manager I could dream of and I’m fed up with how they treat you. Besides, it could have happened to anyone and that’s even more infuriating so…let’s tell our management what happened and if they will try to de-escalate rather than move things along with us, to hell with them. We’ll issue our own statement on my private Instagram. In fact, can you please work on a draft in the car? Also, where are we going to next?”
“…are you sure you don’t want to rap more in songs? That kind of passion needs to be saved and experienced again and again. Anyway, yes. I’ll do all that. And now you have an interview with JaeJae”
Good. JaeJae was nice and it was bound to be fun at par with Kim Shin Young and You Hee-yeol as his favourite hosts, interviewers and MCs.
Only, his mind was not there. Maybe he should have listened when Hyunjin told him to listen to 3 rd Eye and try to meditate in the car.
“I feel very strongly about sexual harassment issues because I think they permeate our society and create a culture of fear for the victims. I also feel that poverty is still a very relevant issue and I don’t agree with billionaires being so rich. Of course I also am quite rich and privileged but what I have is nothing compared to a handful of people who literally own the world and I would be okay with being paid less if it means other people won’t go hungry.” He answered the interesting and thought-provoking question of ‘which current issues do you feel are very important to act on’.
They went back and forth to add on to that answer and for once, he felt like he was appreciated for his brain.
“Any particular sexual harassment case which really shocked you?” she asked.
“Not one in particular. It’s more the fact that it happens so often. My boyfriend gets harassed all the time simply because of how he looks and I can see the effect it has on him. It really bothers me.”
Silence.
Realisation.
Someone probably tried to push the stop air button but it was too late.
The dumbass said it to the journalist and for once, that dumbass was him. He got so used to saying boyfriend as an excuse and they got so used to playing the role of boyfriends, Seungmin thought he should star in a drama. Ideally one with more applause than now.
JaeJae cleared her throat and looked at him and he nodded. There was no going back now and really, there was never a good time. He had been stopped countless times from coming out by his management but they couldn’t stop something that was already done.
Seungmin hated backtracking when he was in the right. He wasn’t about to stop someone who was overjoyed at finally being represented from feeling elated. He wasn’t going to be a yo-yo, a revolving door like some institutions tended to be.
“Right, I’m pansexual. Which means that I could be attracted to anyone”
“And you have a boyfriend at the moment?” she asked professionally, without judgement. Some people could stand to learn a lot from her.
“I prefer not to speak about him without his permission” he neither confirmed but definitely did not deny.
The interview carried on with more thought-provoking questions.
The dumbass that was his dumbass self felt even more of a dumbass when he saw how panicked Hyunjin was backstage. His lips were bitten red and he was shaking, avoiding anyone’s eye.
“What did you do? Did the episode affect you so much? I am so sorry! I will explain to management that you used being my boyfriend as an excuse for people to stop harassing me and I’ll tell them you just got confused from all the anger inside because you are so protective and then it would have looked bad to backtrack. At least you came out like you wanted.”
“Hyunjin, stop pacing please. I’m sorry for worrying you but it will be okay, okay?” he held his hands in his and stared right into his eyes.
It wasn’t okay. Management was on their asses the minute they were on the car back to the company. His coming out had already made national news but like Seungmin had predicted, they couldn’t backtrack. His company wasn’t small and it would look even worse if they did.
Seungmin should have done it years ago. What will they do? Publically dismiss him?
He’ll found his own company and hire the best manager ever and give other artists that were shunned a chance. Or he’ll join P Nation or Beat Interactive or something.
Knowing that he had options, he felt calm.
“Hey. If I’m dismissed, will you come with me to a new company?”
“Of course!”
“Then relax. Your job is secure and it may be harder for me to bounce back career wise but with both our heads and talents, we’ll manage”
Hyunjin too relaxed.
“Maybe you can hire Hwanwoong as a dance instructor”
“Oh if he wants he has a job already”
Whatever company he’ll be in, change was bound to happen.
-----
In the end he stayed with his old company but his contract was ending that year anyway and with the lack of support he received – even for the bloody harassment reports – he knew his stay with them had a countdown.
It was refreshing. Being free.
And as he evaluated his whole life and the upcoming changes, he debated telling Hyunjin.
But he couldn’t, could he?
For one, Hyunjin had explained everything to management and they had been forbidden to appear too lovey-dovey in public. They had even tried to stop their dance classes but to hell with them interfering in his free time. He had told them exactly that and their sour expressions made him smile. Maybe he was a bit of a sadist.
Most of all though, Hyunjin did not dream of fame. Would dating him crash that? That was something that he knew from the very beginning and being with him would inevitably draw the cameras on him. There will be news articles written about him. He’ll be branded in one way or another. He’ll receive stares and glares and unfortunately, it won’t stop the unwanted attention either. In fact, he’ll probably be fetishised even more.
But…Hyunjin hated being thought of as simple. As someone who couldn’t make his own decisions. He was very competent and he basically managed both their lives very efficiently and with feeling.
Hyunjin was also compassionate. So who was Seungmin to decide for him?
If Hyunjin wanted to reject him; even if he felt the same because he couldn’t be in a relationship with him, then he will understand. He just hoped that the other would stay in his life in one capacity or another but if he couldn’t, Seungmin wished him nothing but happiness.
“So, are you thinking about it?”
Seungmin turned around. It was Yeji; a great friend of Hyunjin’s and another manager.
“About what?”
“Confessing to him”
“…am I that obvious?”
“You basically only devour anyone that looks at him wrongly…what do you think?”
He sighed. “Do I stand a chance?” If anyone would know, it would be her.
“I’m only going to say that he stayed with you through thick and thin. Have faith in him”
He thanked her then. Decision made, he smiled. There was a sense of freedom in letting go.
-----
He did it that same day under some blossoming trees because Hyunjin was nothing but romantic and he deserved the experience.
“Hyunjin. I want to ask you something and it’s not a prank or a joke. I am being very serious” he said in the most serious voice he could pull. His underarms felt like a river.
“You’re scaring me. Did we lose our job?” he asked, immediately going to comfort him and telling him it would be okay.
“It’s not that. It’s something personal. So…Hwang Hyunjin, I like you. As more than my manager or friend and I would be honoured if you’d think about dating me but I’ll understand if you don’t feel the same way or if you don’t want the attention that will come with dating me. I would tell you I would be okay with having a private relationship but truth is, if I was dating you I would not be able to help myself and tell the whole world.”
He didn’t look at Hyunjin. For once he was really nervous. He never felt like this, not even when he had first sung live in front of an audience. Not when the auditorium had been mostly empty and not when it had been bulging with people.
“Seungmin…are you serious?” he asked, incredulous.
“Like never before in my life”
Silence stretched until it was unbearable.
“I’ve liked you for many years now and because you’re always joking I thought it was a mixture of fun and protectiveness that led you to behave that way in my regard but I was hurting a bit. I didn’t like that you would joke about something that meant so much to me. I’m glad I was wrong about your character and I’m glad to accept your feelings”
He sniffled and the waterworks started.
Seungmin rushed for a tissue.
“Does that mean you’ll face the public with me?” he asked hopefully.
“I’m never moving from your side, unless I’m in another position near you.”
“I can’t wait until you’re under me then” he couldn’t help it! Hyunjin had walked right in that one! It was a booby-trap just for him!
“Seungmin! Stop it!” he blushed and for once, he knew what that blush meant. It was like Seungmin had learned the Hwang Hyunjin language 2.0 and he could reinterpret previous actions. He smiled.
“I love you” he admitted.
Hyunjin sucked in a breath. “No. I love you”
Seungmin sucked in a breath. “You know we can love each other right? It’s not a competition.”
“Okay fine, we can love each other. What else then?” Hyunjin placed his hands on his hips, looking expectantly at him.
Seungmin wasn’t usually cheesy but…
“Hwang Hyunjin, what do you say? Want to be my Valentine 365?”
“I get to have a vacation every 4 years? Nice!” he giggled, this time knowing that he was being the little shit rather than the other way round.
Seungmin groaned. Was he that insufferable?
“Reading all those contracts made you so ugh!”
“Eloquent. Do you write song lyrics by any chance?”
“I’ll write a million about you if you don’t shut up”
“Promise?”
They shook hands which made them both laugh. They were nothing but professionals with a side of feelings after all.
They didn’t kiss, not then but gazing into each other’s eyes and knowing where they stood made them feel fuzzy.
“My mother is going to be so happy!” Hyunjin admitted.
“You can’t tell her it was fake at first. It will break her heart. Let’s just continue from where we already were”
“Okay…any chance I can pay for the next date?” They had been on countless dates and Hyunjin had only paid a few times.
“Sure” he said, already planning a cheap but enjoyable date so Hyunjin could spend his hard earned money on himself.
And they left off from where they had already been.