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Usually, Jeongguk loves the winter season – it might even be his favorite one. There is nothing he enjoys more than staying inside, wrapped around a blanket, as he watches the snow falling outside, probably while listening to one of his favorite albums. To wear his favorite hoodies without being judged by others, or to simply have an excuse to drink as much hot chocolate as he wants to.
However, right now, while being stuck inside a coffee shop because of how much it’s snowing in the streets, he doesn’t think he loves winter that much.
“I will be so late for work,” Jeongguk whines, running his hand through his brown hair. Lately, he is in that weird phase in which he is not sure if he should let it grow like he has been doing for the past months, or to get a new haircut. Everyone in his life seems to be in favor of the second option, but he has learned to enjoy tying it up in a small ponytail.
“Maybe this will teach you a lesson to start waking up early,” Yoongi replies. As people around him start to talk louder, Jeongguk puts on his other AirPod as well, wishing to listen to his best friend better.
“If I wanted to be scolded, I would have called Namjoon-hyung.”
“But you didn’t, so now you’re stuck with me,” Yoongi simply says, and Jeongguk is thankful that the older man can’t see him rolling his eyes right now. “Anyway, you’re lucky you have the coolest boss in the world. She won’t even care that you’ll be late. Have you texted her already?”
“Yeah. She actually told me I could just go back home and work from there,” Jeongguk says, drinking the rest of his latte. At least it was good, otherwise he would have been late for work over nothing.
“See? Coolest boss.”
For the past year, Jeongguk has been putting his major in Architecture into good use by working in a construction company located in Hongdae, twenty-five minutes away from his apartment in Itaewon, if he takes the subway. It hasn’t been easy working there while, at the same time, taking online classes to specialize in landscape architecture, but he still enjoys it. Even more so when his boss, Choi Minji, lets Jeongguk give his opinion on the projects they are working on, even though he is one of the youngest there. To her, who became the president at the company at the age of twenty-nine, age has never been a problem.
“I still feel bad, though,” Jeongguk says, heavily sighing. “She already let me work from home five times last month when I was busy studying for my finals.”
“So? She knows how it feels to be in college, Gguk-ah. I’m sure she would insist for you to come if you really had to.”
“I guess,” he quietly replies, not even sure if Yoongi hears him. While looking at the window, Jeongguk doesn’t think it will stop snowing anytime soon. Every minute that passes by, more people walk inside the coffee shop, most of them probably looking for a place to hide from the snowstorm. Despite not being exactly claustrophobic, Jeongguk starts to feel that there is no air around him, barely being able to sit comfortably on his chair with the amount of people next to where he is. “I think I’ll just go home, then.”
“Are you crazy?” Yoongi asks. Some would think his voice came out rather aggressive, but Jeongguk knows that’s just his best friend being as protective as always. “Jeongguk, don’t get out. There is a fucking snowstorm outside. Just wait for fifteen minutes, I’m sure it will be over by then.”
Jeongguk, however, is already standing up from his chair, holding his bag against his chest as he tries to pass between people. When he reaches the front door and steps outside, he immediately feels his face starting to hurt from the freezing wind. The streets are empty, because Jeongguk seems to be the only one stupid enough to get out in the middle of a snowstorm. But just being able to properly breathe again without having dozens of people around him makes it all worth it.
“Yoongi-hyung, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Jeongguk says, clenching his jaw with how cold it is.
“How are you even going home? Where are you?”
“I was in that coffee shop three blocks away from my apartment building. Don’t worry, I will just walk my way back.”
“Don’t worry,” Yoongi repeats what he just said in a high-pitched voice, followed by a stressed scoff. “I swear, Jeon Jeongguk. Who needs a child when I have you as a friend?”
“Bye, hyung. Love you.”
“Love you too. Be careful.”
As soon as Jeongguk ends the call and places his AirPods and phone inside his bag, he starts to wonder if it has been really a good idea to leave the coffee shop. He doesn’t linger on it for too long, being too stubborn to admit defeat and go back. Instead, he only takes a deep breath before starting walking towards his apartment, taking small steps so he doesn’t end up slipping. Maybe now it’s time to thank his parents for enrolling him in different sports when he was a child, which definitely is helping him now to remain in balance.
Jeongguk will hardly forget the first time he ever witnessed a snow as hard as it is today. Growing up in Busan, close to the beach, he had barely ever seen actual snow in his life. However, when he moved to Seoul to go to college, he soon figured out the wonders of staying in bed all day during winter, cuddling his boyfriend while watching your favorite movies. Jimin was also a huge winter lover, and he was the one who took Jeongguk to ice skate for the first time, and the one who gave him a snow globe for Christmas. Even though he is single now, and has been for the last three years, he is still able to enjoy this time of the year while, at the same, having fond memories about the time he had someone else to share this with him.
Park Jimin. It’s not every day that he crosses Jeongguk’s mind, but when he does, he surely takes over every single thought. Jeongguk always ends up remembering all their stolen kisses at the university’s library, or the times they would kick out their roommates from their dorm rooms just to have sex. If he closes his eyes, he can still listen to the sound of Jimin’s sweet laugh, his eyes shutting so hard that he can’t even see. Jeongguk wonders if Jimin still has blonde hair or if he changed to another color – maybe pink, like he always wanted to. If he continued to live in Seoul, or if he went back to Busan to live closer to his family. As much as Jeongguk wants to check him through social media, he’s too afraid of what he might find. Too afraid to see what he let go of.
Jeongguk almost crosses the street without looking if there is any car coming, which is a sign from the universe for him to stop thinking about his ex-boyfriend. He tries to spot his apartment building between the whiteness of the snow, already daydreaming about the hot shower he is about to take, or to celebrate that he will be able to work comfortably wearing his favorite socks. The sour mood he was in just twenty minutes ago is already floating away.
Once he makes sure there are no vehicles coming on his way, Jeongguk steps on the street while looking forward. However, the second he hears the sound of a horn, way too close from where he is, Jeongguk turns his head immediately, feeling his heart beating stopping as he sees it’s coming from a car only a few meters away – which isn’t stopping. He starts to run desperately, praying to whatever God there is above him, that he will reach the other side quickly.
Everything happens in a matter of seconds. Jeongguk loses his balance as he slips through the snow on the floor before he finishes crossing the street, and there is no way he won’t be run over by that car in case he falls. So he uses all of his forces to jump forward as hard as he can, falling directly on the floor close to the sidewalk. He listens to something breaking, not sure if it is one of his bones or the notebook in his bag, which was thrown somewhere in the process. The last thing that hits the street is his head, smacking strongly against it.
Jeongguk raises his hand, leading it to his head, luckily not feeling any blood coming out of it. However, he looks down and sees his left foot positioned in a way that it definitely shouldn’t be considered normal, seeming out of place. Around him, he hears someone shouting to call for an ambulance.
Before Jeongguk can even let out a cry of pain, he feels his vision slowly becoming blurry, until it is all black.
_________________
Jeongguk slowly opens his eyes, not recognizing the ceiling that he is looking at. If it was his bedroom, the color would be light blue, and he is almost sure he would have remembered to close his curtains to make it darker. However, it is so bright that his eyes are starting to hurt, giving him a terrible headache. Not only that, but Jeongguk also notices how his entire body is sore, like he had worked out for hours. Just when he tries to stand up, he feels something holding his left foot back.
The snowstorm. The car.
Memories come back to him as he remembers throwing himself on the floor to avoid being run over by that car. Jeongguk lowers his eyes, realizing his clothes are gone and were replaced by a hospital gown, and he is covered by a beige blanket. He doesn’t even know how he ended up in the hospital since he passed out only a few seconds after his head hit the floor. At least, the room he is in seems nice, with a medium-size TV hanging on the wall in front of him, and the bed being more than comfortable. Jeongguk is more than thankful for having a nice health insurance right now.
Jeongguk turns his head around the second he hears the door of his room being opened and a nurse gets inside. She seems to be in her forties, and her hair is tied up into a messy ponytail. Once she sees Jeongguk looking at her, a gentle smile takes over her face.
“I see that you’re awake,” she replies with an utterly calming voice. “Hello, Jeongguk-ssi. My name is Lee Yeona. Are you feeling alright?”
Jeongguk slowly nods his head, pressing his lips against each other. “I think so. Where exactly am I?”
“As in what hospital?” Yeona asks and Jeongguk nods again. “The SNUH. Would you mind if I take a look at you?”
For the following minutes, Yeona does several tests involving Jeongguk staring at different points and touching what she asks to. For what he understands, the reason behind that is to see if he doesn’t have any severe damage on his brain as a result of the fall. Thankfully, Yeona quickly reassures him that he looks fine.
“About your foot,” she starts to say. “We used an x-ray when you arrived to get some pictures, so the doctor will be here soon to give you more details about it. Luckily, it won’t be anything serious.”
Jeongguk gulps down, terrified about the possibility of having surgery in his feet. “H-how long was I unconscious?”
“About an hour. But don’t worry, we called your boyfriend, and he was here with you the entire time. He must be back soon,” Yeona replies, continuing to smile.
“M-my what?” Jeongguk asks, frowning. Could Yeona be talking about Yoongi? Maybe she assumed they were dating.
“He was listed as your emergency contact.”
That doesn’t make sense at all. Jeongguk never put Yoongi as his emergency contact. Actually, the last time he had even bothered to change it was when-
Oh no.
At that precisely moment, the door of the room opens again, and the person who comes inside is someone Jeongguk never thought he would see again – much less in a hospital after he was almost hit by a car.
Park Jimin looks more beautiful than Jeongguk could ever remember, if that was possible. He had, indeed, changed his hair color. Now, his locks are purple, almost lilac, and it suits him perfectly. Jimin seems skinnier, but stronger at the same time, the tight pants he is wearing highlighting his thick thighs. His walk remains as graciously as ever, almost like he is sliding through the floor instead of stepping on it. And the second he cast a shy smile toward Jeongguk’s direction, he could swear he was still passed out, and this isn’t really happening.
There is no way he is in the same room as Jimin again after almost two years without seeing each other.
“Here he is!” Yeona exclaims, smiling widely at Jimin. The chances that he had completely enchanted her in the one hour Jeongguk was out are huge. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to check on other patients. The orthopedist will come soon, Jeongguk-ssi.”
“Thank you,” Jeongguk quietly says, not even looking at Yeona while she leaves the room. He is too busy staring at Jimin, decorating every single detail he can about the other man before he magically disappears. There is no way he isn’t dreaming.
Once they are left alone, the tension in the room immediately builds up. Jeongguk knows it wouldn’t be so awkward if the situation was different – he and Jimin had broken up on friendly terms, after all, hanging out more than once since then, even though it didn’t involve a lot of… talking. The problem is having to hear Jimin being addressed as his boyfriend for the first time in years, when that was far from the truth. Or the fact that, even still, Jimin came. He is here in the hospital with Jeongguk.
“You’re still listed as my emergency contact,” Jeongguk says, resisting the urge of slapping himself on the face.
Jimin, however, shyly smiles, taking a few steps forward and sitting on the chair next to the bed. Seeing him even closer only makes Jeongguk notice how he doesn’t have a single flaw on his face, even after these years apart. “I know,” Jimin gently says, and only listening to his voice again makes Jeongguk’s heart speed up.
“From when we were in college, and I didn’t want to have a hospital calling my parents.”
“I know,” Jimin repeats, his smiling growing bigger as he shows off his crooked tooth. He had always told Jeongguk he would have it fixed, but Jeongguk insisted it was his charm and that he loved it. “You were quite a drinker back then.”
“Yeah,” he embarrassedly agrees, being able to smile for the first time since he had woken up. “Hi, Jimin-hyung.”
“It’s good to see you, Jeongguk-ah. Although I do wish the circumstances were different.”
Right. Jimin was probably busy, following his morning routine, before he was interrupt by a call that his ex-boyfriend from college was in the hospital because he was stupid enough to get out in the middle of a snowstorm, and Jimin simply is too polite to not come. Guilt starts to grow on Jeongguk’s chest, and he feels more than ashamed for putting Jimin in that situation. He probably pities Jeongguk, thinking he is so much of a loser that he still had Jimin as his emergency contact.
“S-sorry for making you come here,” Jeongguk says, clenching his fingers against the sheets. “I should have changed my emergency contact a long time ago.”
“It’s fine, Gguk-ah,” Jimin reassures him, the nickname sounding like music to Jeongguk’s ears. So much time without listening to it coming from Jimin’s mouth.
“No, seriously,” he insists, looking down at his lap. “You’re probably thinking this is me tricking you into seeing me again. I swear it isn’t. I-I even have a boyfriend.”
What?
“I swear it’s not a problem,” Jimin repeats, knowing of Jeongguk’s constant worry of being a bother. He knows all of his tactics. “I wasn’t thinking about it. And since I have a boyfriend as well, I think it’s safe to say that neither of us were trying to ambush the other.”
Jimin has a boyfriend?
Jeongguk isn’t even sure where the idea of lying about having a boyfriend came from. Obviously, he doesn’t want to be seen as someone lonely in front of his extremely hot ex-boyfriend, even though he knows Jimin isn’t that judgy of a person. At least, he didn’t use to be. But now that Jeongguk knows the other man has a boyfriend, a real one, he is more than happy that he lied about it.
“So,” he says, cleaning up his throat. “How are you, hyung?”
Jimin giggles upon hearing that question, and it should be embarrassing how stupidly fast Jeongguk becomes fond of the sound again. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? Why the hell were you even out when it was snowing like that?”
“I was walking back home. The coffee shop I was in was too crowded,” Jeongguk quietly admits, feeling his cheeks heating up.
“Typical Jeon Jeongguk,” Jimin scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully. “God, it’s been so long. What have you been up to?”
“Nothing much,” Jeongguk says. He always feels nervous when someone asks him about his life, thinking that, somehow, there should be a right answer. A proper job, a relationship. He can see in Jimin’s eyes, however, that he simply is curious to know about Jeongguk’s life. “As you know, I graduated from college, but I’m studying to specialize in landscape architecture. Just a few more months until I’m done with it.”
“That sounds wonderful, Jeongguk-ah. Have you been working as well?”
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, in a construction company in Hongdae.”
“Oh, it’s not far from where I live,” Jimin says, and once again Jeongguk nods in agreement. When Jimin graduated from college, he moved to an apartment in Insadong, relatively close from Jeongguk's current neighborhood and where he works as well. Apparently, that hasn’t changed.
Two years that they have been living close to each other, and not once, they had crossed each other’s paths.
“What about you?” Jeongguk asks, truthfully wanting to know how things are for Jimin.
“I just got my master’s degree in Child Psychology,” Jimin proudly says, stuffing his chest a little, and Jeongguk can’t help but to smile. Jimin graduated being the best one in his class, and he constantly talked about getting a master’s degree once he figured out what was his area of interest. Deep down, Jeongguk always knew he would end up working with children. “And I opened a private clinic with Jin-hyung. Do you remember him? Kim Seokjin?”
“Yes,” Jeongguk quietly says. It was hard to forget Kim Seokjin, one of the most handsome men Jeongguk has ever seen, who also happened to be one of Jimin’s co-workers at the time, the two of them often hanging out. Jeongguk bites his lower lip as an attempt to stop his brain from having those jealous thoughts again. Jimin isn’t his anymore. He hasn’t been for a while. “Congratulations on your master’s degree, hyung. Is it nice to work with children?”
“It’s amazing,” Jimin replies, his eyes shining, and Jeongguk only smiles back at him. “A little tiring, yes, and on some days I question if I’m really making a difference in their lives, but I love it. They are the sweetest. Most of them, anyway,” Jimin whispers the second part, as if it was a secret between the two of them.
There is so much Jeongguk wants to ask. He wants to know how Jimin’s family is, and if he visits them a lot. If his younger brother graduated from college. If Jimin still runs every day, even if it means he has to do it after working for the whole day. If he still hates mangos, and if he still sings out loud whenever he is cooking or taking a shower. If he still wants to have a cat despite being allergic to them, or if he has turned into a more of a dog person. If he still goes to bed wearing socks only to take them off the second his feet are warm under the blanket.
Jeongguk misses Jimin’s presence more than it should be considered normal for an ex-boyfriend. He has known it for quite a while – ever since he tried to date again only to realize he compared them all with the older man. No one understood him like Jimin. No one fucked him better than Jimin. No one fitted in his arms so well like Jimin. No one is like Jimin, and no one will hardly ever be.
But, right now, looking at him, the only thing Jeongguk can think about are the differences. A few years ago, Jimin would definitely disobey all the rules in the hospital and lay in the bed by his side, placing sweet and delicate kisses on his face. He would be practically living in Jeongguk’s apartment, spoiling him in every possible way until he gets better. He would surely be pissed at him for going out while it was snowing, probably being scolded for weeks because of that.
Jeongguk has to remember this isn’t them anymore, and he knows very little about Jimin’s life and who he has become. More importantly, Jimin has a boyfriend. Jeongguk wants to be a better person and says that he is happy that Jimin found someone, but the truth is that he hates himself. He hates that he ever let Jimin go.
“Jeongguk-”
Jimin is interrupted by the sound of the door being opened, this time a doctor getting inside the room. He is a tall man, definitely taller than Jeongguk, who looks like the type of person that hits the gym pretty much every day. By his side, Jimin immediately stands up, bowing in his direction, and the doctor does the same while looking at him and Jeongguk.
“Good morning, Jeongguk-ssi,” he firmly says, staring at the papers on his hands before going back to look at him. “My name is Kim Youngjae, and I’m the orthopedist responsible for your case. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” Jeongguk honestly replies. Seeing Jimin and talking with him made him completely forget about his headache and the pain on his foot, which is slowly starting to grow again.
“Very well. You don’t seem to have any brain damage from hitting the floor, but you should be wary for the next day or two. If you start to feel dizzy, or if you think there is anything wrong with your vision, come straight to the hospital, alright?” Youngjae asks, and Jeongguk nods in response. “Now, about your left foot. Unfortunately, you fractured your fibula when you fell down. It is what we commonly call a twisted ankle.”
“Will he need to have surgery?” Jimin asks, sounding a little distressed. Although the situation isn’t ideal, Jeongguk can’t help but to overthink if Jimin continues to worry for him.
“That’s the good news,” Youngjae replies, offering something close to a smile to Jimin. “It was a closed fracture, so the bone wasn’t completely broken,” he says, moving his stare back at Jeongguk. “You’ll have to use both a walking boot and crutches for a couple weeks so the area remains immobilized, followed by a few sessions of physiotherapy. The first few days tend to be more painful, but I’ll write down a prescription for painkillers to help.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth to ask a question, but he is interrupted by Jimin. “Can he take the boot off or does he have to remain with it the whole time?”
“He should take it off three times a day to put some ice in the area, but do not take it off for showering, for example. Just cover it and sit on a bench while doing it.”
“How long exactly do I need to use it?” Jeongguk asks.
“About twenty days. Then, you come back here and we’ll check it out to see if it is healed already.”
Twenty days. Jeongguk already feels stressed over the thought of depending on other people to do things for him during that time, or to be unable to work out with Namjoon like he always does. This whole thing will mess up with his entire routine, and all because he couldn’t stay inside that coffee shop.
But as he looks at Jimin, who is furrowing his eyebrows while listening to the doctor talking, Jeongguk wonders if something good could come out of it.
Once Youngjae writes down the prescription Jeongguk will need for the painkillers and anti-inflammatories, he gets out of the room, leaving both men alone again.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk quietly mumbles, throwing his head against the pillow and closing his eyes.
“Hey,” Jimin softly says by his side, and before Jeongguk knows it, there is a delicate hand touching his shoulder and lightly squeezing it. He opens his eyes just in time to see Jimin looking at him with sweet eyes, which used to have the power to convince Jeongguk that everything would be alright. Maybe they can still do that. “Twenty days are nothing, you’ll see. Consider it as a great opportunity to watch as many movies as you want to.”
Jeongguk shyly smiles, remembering how Jimin likes to comfort people at all times. “You know I’ll end up doing a Marvel marathon, hyung.”
“True,” he agrees, and both of them chuckle. “Where do you live, exactly? Do you share your place with someone else?”
“I live in Itaewon. With, hm, Tae-hyung.”
At the mention of the other man, Jeongguk expects Jimin’s expression to change into a more hostile one. However, he only nods his head. “Close to me, then,” he quietly says, removing his hands from Jeongguk and taking a few steps back. “Is he your…”
“My?” Jeongguk confusedly asks, tilting his head.
“Your boyfriend?” Jimin asks, his voice barely coming out.
“Oh. No, no. Definitely not. Me and Tae-hyung? Never,” Jeongguk nervously replies, staring at his fingers. “You, hm, you don’t know him.”
“Do you want your phone? He might be worried about you.”
Jeongguk almost forgets that he has an actual life outside that hospital room with Jimin. He doesn’t think anyone will be worried about him not answering his phone for a couple hours, since it is completely normal to happen, but Yoongi will surely kill him once he finds out about what happened. Jimin walks to where his things are, showing Jeongguk that his notebook was a little cracked, but handing him his phone, which is intact.
“Do you need a ride home, Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin asks him as Jeongguk finishes sending an e-mail to the RH department, explaining what had happened.
“Oh, it’s alright, Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk quickly says. Jimin probably needs to be somewhere else, and he would hate to cause more trouble. “I can text one of my hyungs.”
“Please, my car is parked right across the street. There is no need to make one of them come here,” Jimin replies, but he makes himself smaller, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “Unless you would prefer them picking you up.”
“No!” Jeongguk immediately exclaims, a little louder than he intended to. But just the thought of Jimin imagining he doesn’t want to be around him makes him grow desperate. “I mean, the problem isn’t you. I just don’t want to bother.”
“It’s settled then!” Jimin smiles, clapping his hands. “I’ll give you a ride.”
“Don’t you have any patients this morning?”
“Well, I canceled all my appointments when I received that call. In case it was something more serious,” Jimin replies, his smile slowly fading away. “You really scared me.”
“Sorry,” Jeongguk mumbles, not sure if his heart should be speeding up so much just because he made Jimin worry about him.
He still cares.
“Your clothes are over there,” Jimin says, pointing at a table on the other side of the room. “I can ask for a nurse to come here to help you to get dressed, if you want to.”
“Sure. It would be great,” Jeongguk shyly replies. Obviously, Jimin isn’t going to see him wearing nothing more than his underwear.
Getting dressed is harder than Jeongguk imagined it would be, even with the nurse’s help. When he stands up, he makes the big mistake of accidentally stepping on the floor with his foot that is hurt, and he even lets out a whine in pain – which definitely doesn’t represent the amount of pain he feels. His clothes are a little dirty from when he fell on the street, but nothing that stops him from putting them on.
Jeongguk leaves the hospital in a wheelchair and one of his boots in his hands while Jimin guides him from behind. When he woke up that morning, the thought of being run over by a car seemed more likely than the odds of seeing Jimin again, much less that he would, somehow, take care of him. Jeongguk begins to text Yoongi, trying to explain the situation without freaking him out, and asking if he could buy him a walking boot and the crutches once he comes home from work. Obviously, Yoongi ends up calling him anyway.
“Tell me what exactly happened,” Yoongi says as soon as Jeongguk accepts the call.
“I was almost run over by a car. Everything is fine, but I fractured my ankle when I fell down,” Jeongguk replies. He is currently waiting at the hospital door with a nurse by his side while Jimin went to his car to drive it as close as he can.
“It doesn’t sound like everything is fine at all. Fuck Jeongguk. I told you to stay inside.”
“I know, I know,” Jeongguk quietly admits, biting his lower lip. Yoongi, despite being one of his best friends, really takes over his role as the hyung of the relationship when he needed to, which is usually when Jeongguk does something dumb.
“Why didn’t you call me early? Are you alone in the hospital?”
“Sorry, Yoongi-hyung. But don’t worry. I’m, hm, I’m not alone.”
“Is Tae with you?”
“No,” he replies, taking a short breath and shutting his eyes close. “I’m with Jimin-hyung.”
Silence on the other side of the line. Jeongguk is about to pull his phone away to see if Yoongi had hung up on him when he hears the older one’s voice. “Park Jimin? As in your ex-boyfriend Park Jimin?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk shyly admits. “He was still listed as my emergency contact.”
“Shit,” Yoongi scoffs, but Jeongguk is pretty sure he listens to the amusement present in his voice. “This sounds like a romcom movie.”
“A bad one,” he mumbles under his breath. “I need to go, hyung. He is driving me home.”
“Fine. I’ll stop later with everything.”
“Thanks. See you later,” Jeongguk says, hanging up the call just when Jimin parks his car in front of where Jeongguk is. The older man gets out his black SUV, wearing a long, beige coat that wasn’t on him before. That, alongside his brown turtleneck shirt, beige pants, and white boots, only makes Jeongguk realize how elegant Jimin looks, even more than he always had been.
He seems like an adult, Jeongguk thinks, embarrassingly looking down at his own clothes. Of course, he went to work using his best clothes, but he would choose a big and comfy hoodie at any given opportunity, whereas Jimin probably slept with his fancy watch on. That difference between the two of them would be one of the main reasons behind their argument when they were together – Jimin would want to go out and have dinner at a fancy restaurant when he started to work, and Jeongguk would prefer to remain at the older one’s place and order pizza.
Jimin probably does all these things with his current boyfriend, and Jeongguk isn’t sure if he should be so sad over this fact.
“Hey,” Jimin says, approaching him. One thing that hasn’t changed is how his button nose still gets slightly red whenever is cold. “I think it would be better if you went on the back seat, so you can keep your leg elevated.”
Jeongguk nods in agreement. Then, when he starts to stand up from the chair without touching his foot on the floor, Jimin ends up on his side, sliding his arm around his waist to provide some support. Jeongguk’s brain isn’t being helpful at all, remembering all the time Jimin did that same thing whenever they took a walk together, or how firmly he manhandled Jeongguk while fucking him. Being that close also makes Jeongguk smell the wooden perfume coming from Jimin, and he can only smile fondly that, after all these years, he hasn’t changed it.
“Is this alright?” Jimin mumbles next to his ear, and Jeongguk gets chills from hearing his hoarse voice so closely.
“Y-yeah,” Jeongguk stutters. Due to the small heels on Jimin’s boots, he is almost the same height as Jeongguk right now, making it possible for him to look directly at his plumpy lips, hating that he is thinking if they still taste the same.
Get a grip, Jeongguk.
With Jimin’s help, Jeongguk gets inside the car, sitting at the opposite side of the driver’s seat and positioning his leg. The inside of the car is exactly what Jeongguk expected to be – neat, but, at the same time, with all these details that are part of Jimin’s personality. There is a water bottle on the floor, and the same smell of wood is present everywhere, overwhelming Jeongguk. A small Christmas tree can be seen hanging from the rear-view mirror, because Jimin loves this time of the year so much he always makes sure to decorate every possible space that he can.
“Where exactly is your address?” Jimin asks with his phone in hand, writing it down as soon as Jeongguk says it. Then, he places the phone in a way that it makes it possible for him to see it while driving. “There is an amazing Italian restaurant right next to where you live. Have you ever been there?”
Jeongguk excitedly nods his head. Finally, his opportunity to show Jimin that he goes to these kinds of places. “Yeah, it’s great. I love their lasagna.”
“Right?” Jimin agrees, chuckling. “My boyfriend is more of a risotto kind of guy, but the real deal is the lasagna.”
Almost immediately, Jeongguk’s buzz goes away as he imagines Jimin and his boyfriend going there. As if he hasn’t been humiliated enough, he decides to dig into that. “Is he a psychologist as well?”
“Oh, no. He’s a kindergarten teacher. We met in a seminar about child psychotherapy. At the time, he had a student diagnosed with autism, and he wanted to know more about how he could help them.”
Jeongguk gulps down his guilt, embarrassed that he was portraying Jimin’s boyfriend like an asshole when, in fact, he sounds like a nice guy. Caring, great with kids, and probably handsome if he is dating Jimin. “How long have you been together?”
“A few months. What about you and your boyfriend?”
“W-we, hm, er. Just a couple weeks. It’s new,” Jeongguk replies, looking out the window so Jimin can’t see his face. He always had the ability to know when Jeongguk was lying.
After that, they don’t talk much. Jeongguk asks if Jimin went to Busan for the Holidays, which, of course, he did, and Jimin asks him more about his work. Neither of them mention anything related to the time in which they were together, nor the other two or three times they have seen each other after that. For some reason, Jeongguk is relieved about it. He has always enjoyed talking with Jimin, even before they started to date, and it feels good to be able to do that again like nothing had happened, but still carrying the memories of everything.
Jimin parks in front of his building, jumping out of his car to help Jeongguk to get out. Once again, Jimin’s hands on his waist bring out memories that he doesn’t want to relieve right now. They slowly walk towards the elevator, with Jeongguk pressing the button to the seventh floor. Each second seems to be passing by slower than the normal, and he wonders if that’s because he and Jimin are soon going to follow their separate ways again, probably never seeing each other again.
When they are standing in front of his apartment, Jeongguk unlocks the door, still using Jimin’s help to stand up. As they get inside, he mentally thanks himself for always keeping the place clean, because they would live in a complete mess if it was up to Taehyung. He gently puts his things on the floor, waiting for Jimin to get off his shoes before they walk together to the couch.
“There you go. Be careful,” Jimin quietly says while helping Jeongguk to lie down. He helps him to take off his shoe, and Jeongguk can only watch everything with fond eyes. This isn’t much different from when they used to come back from college parties totally wasted and had to help each other to undress before lying on bed.
But now Jeongguk is lying by himself.
“Thanks, hyung,” Jeongguk says for the nth time that morning.
“What do you think about putting an ice bag on your foot now? It will help to relieve the pain,” Jimin suggests, and the only thing Jeongguk can do is nod. With all of these movements, he pain it’s at its strongest point right now. “Okay. Where is your kitchen?”
“Over there, on the right,” Jeongguk replies pointing to his right. His apartment isn’t that big, so it isn’t like Jimin will get lost in the process.
Once he graduated, Taehyung, who used to be his senior in college and one of his best friends, immediately invited him to come live in his apartment. Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before accepting, knowing he wouldn’t find somewhere else better to live in while his previous job didn’t pay him well enough to do that. Ever since then, they have been living there, in their two-room apartment, with a kitchen big enough for Yoongi to always stop by to cook for them, and a living room where Jeongguk and Taehyung spend countless nights playing video games. He wouldn’t change it for the world.
“Here. May I?” Jimin asks, and the second Jeongguk gives him his permission, Jimin sits at the end of the couch, gently pressing the ice bag against his ankle. At first, the cold temperature makes Jeongguk frown in discomfort, but eventually, he starts to feel some relief in the area.
“Oh, this feels nice,” Jeongguk sighs, closing his eyes and lying comfortably against one of the cushions behind him.
“Good,” Jimin replies, smiling at him. “What about the walking boot? Is someone bringing it for you?”
“Yeah, Yoongi-hyung will come here in a couple hours with everything the doctor asked.”
“Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asks, and Jeongguk opens his eyes to look at him. “Tell him I say hi.”
Jeongguk lightly smiles. “I will,” he says, remembering that Jimin always had a good relationship with Yoongi. Whenever they hung out together, the two of them would often end up having deep conversations while Jeongguk was busy getting drunk with the others.
“Your place is nice, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin says while looking around.
“We did what we could,” Jeongguk shyly replies, playing with his fingers.
“Well, it looks better than your college dorm,” he chuckles, and Jeongguk does the same after taking a few seconds to process Jimin’s words.
“That’s not exactly a hard thing to accomplish, hyung,” he smiles, remembering those days they spent together in his single bed.
Silence falls upon them, as if they are both remembering about those times. Jeongguk stares deeply into Jimin’s eyes, knowing all his feelings are coming back in that exact moment. If they hadn’t been there the whole time.
“Are you happy, Jimin-hyung?” Jeongguk ends up asking, not even being sure why.
Jimin opens his mouth to say something in response, but he is immediately interrupted by the sound of the door being opened, interrupting their somewhat soft moment. Both of them turn their heads around just in time to see Taehyung getting inside the apartment, kicking his shoes out of his feet without even realizing he isn’t alone. But the second he starts to walk and see Jeongguk and Jimin, he widens his eyes.
“Jimin?” Taehyung asks, looking desperately from him to Jeongguk. “Sorry, am I interrupting… something?”
“No!” Jeongguk quickly says without even casting a glance at Jimin. “We, ahn, it's a long story. But I was in the hospital and they called Jimin-hyung since he, hm, he’s still my emergency contact.”
“What? Hospital? Why?” Taehyung asks, worried, as he walks around the apartment and sits on the floor next to Jeongguk, looking at Jimin pressing the ice bag against his ankle.
“I fell down and fractured my ankle,” he replies, which only makes Taehyung widen his eyes even more. “Don’t worry, I won’t need surgery. Yoongi-hyung is stopping by later with everything the doctor asked him to buy.”
“You little shit,” Taehyung scolds Jeongguk, slapping his arm rather strongly. “Why haven’t you texted me, hm?”
“Sorry, hyung. I just had a lot on my mind.”
“Right,” Taehyung replies, as if he is finally remembering they aren’t alone. Jimin, on the other side of the couch, is looking at them with an unreadable expression. “Hello, Jimin-ah. How have you been?”
“Hey, Taehyung-ah. Great, and you?” Jimin honestly says, taking Jeongguk aback. He and Taehyung didn’t exactly have the best relationship.
“Good, good. Will you-”
“I should probably be leaving,” Jimin says, abruptly standing up from the couch. Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows, wondering what had happened for him to change his behavior so quickly. It couldn’t be only because of Taehyung, could it?
“Oh. Okay,” Jeongguk simply replies, because what else could he say? He hates that he just got to see Jimin again and he is already leaving, and there is nothing he could do to change it. Jeongguk won’t ask for him to stay when that was something he should’ve done years ago. “Thank you again, Jimin-hyung. For everything you did today.”
Jimin only nods his head, shyly smiling at Jeongguk. “Stay safe, Jeongguk-ah. It was nice to see you.”
“You too,” Jeongguk murmurs, watching Jimin walking away once he says goodbye to Taehyung.
Upon hearing the sound of the door being opened and then closed again, Jeongguk lets out a loud groan, his fractured ankle being the only real proof that what happened today was actually real. That this wasn’t another dream with Jimin. Jimin, with his purple-hair and ability to take care of others. Jimin, with his sweet smile and giggles.
“Should I ask about it?” Taehyung eventually asks, breaking the silence.
“Not now, hyung,” Jeongguk replies, feeling his eyes getting heavier and immediately closing them, turning his head until he’s facing the couch.
“Okay. I’ll go order lunch for us, then.”
The last thing Jeongguk sees before falling asleep is Jimin’s beautiful eye smile.
_________________
“Okay. Now that Namjoon-hyung is here, can you please tell us what happened?”
Jeongguk sighs, signaling with his head for someone to pass him a fried chicken. Knowing he would have to tell the entire Jimin situation to his three best friends, Jeongguk told Taehyung he would start to talk when Yoongi and Namjoon were there as well. However, now that the moment has arrived, he is almost sure that he would prefer to hide his face in the cushions of his couch forever.
“Starting with how exactly you ended up in the hospital,” Namjoon says, sitting by Yoongi’s side on the floor and placing a delicate kiss on his cheek.
“Well, I-”
“This idiot thought it would be a great idea to walk outside in the middle of a snowstorm,” Yoongi interrupts him, still pissed at Jeongguk for leaving the coffee shop. He did, however, bring everything the doctor has asked for, as well as enough banana milk for him to drink for weeks.
“Yes, yes. It was pretty stupid of me. Can I talk now?” Jeongguk asks, and he takes the silence coming from his friends as a positive answer. “So, I was unconscious while they brought me to the hospital because I hit my head against the floor when I fell, and-”
“Don’t say it so naturally!” Taehyung exclaims, jumping from his place on the floor and sitting by Jeongguk’s side on the couch while he holds his face, as if he is trying to look for some visible damage. “Are you fine? Do you need to take some medicine for it?”
“I’m alright, Tae-hyung. Just a small headache,” Jeongguk says, and Taehyung pulls his hands away. “Anyway, I woke up in the hospital. And they called Jimin-hyung because he was still my emergency contact from when, hm, when we dated.”
“Is he your famous college boyfriend?” Namjoon asks. He is the only one who didn’t know Jeongguk back then, only joining their friendship group when he started to date Yoongi the years before.
“It feels weird to place it like that,” Taehyung replies, saying exactly what Jeongguk was thinking. Jimin could never be just a college boyfriend. “Jimin and Jeongguk were like the couple. They were always together back then, feeding each other in public and doing all the gross stuff people in love do. I don’t even know how many times I was walking around the building and I saw Jimin there somewhere, waiting for Jeongguk’s class to be over.”
“I can’t imagine you acting like that, Gguk-ah,” Namjoon amusingly says.
“Trust me, no one could,” Yoongi replies, lightly scoffing. “Jimin brought up some part of Jeongguk that only he was able to.”
“Why did you break up, then?”
There it is. The question Jeongguk asks himself every time he remembers about his time dating Jimin, while nostalgically staring at their photos and videos together. At the time, it felt like the most logical decision. Jimin had graduated from college, and he got into the adult-life-mode faster than Jeongguk could follow. He was talking about moving in together and getting their own house when Jeongguk couldn’t bother to leave his dorm if he didn’t want to starve for the whole month. While Jimin wanted to go out and have dinner together with his friends, Jeongguk had to either study, or he would just prefer to go partying with his own friends. Jealousy started to grow on both of them to the point that neither of them trusted each other to spend a night separately, and they would just fight if they tried to go to the same place, since clearly one of them would be unhappy about the decision.
The breaking point was when Jimin tried to plan a trip for them together, and Jeongguk simply didn’t have enough money to do that at the moment. Truth is, he could have if he didn’t go out with his friends for a couple weeks, or if he stopped ordering food and cooked instead, but he just didn’t want to. He didn’t want to stop himself from having those college memories because of a relationship. So, Jeongguk ended things with Jimin after two years of being together, even though it could just as well have been the other way around. Neither of them were happy being with each other. Jeongguk was able to graduate from college with the freedom that he wanted so badly, but he had always wondered about the cost of it.
Early that day, he saw it.
“Life, I guess,” Jeongguk simply replies, gulping down the lump on his throat. “We just were in different moments in our lives.”
“So, it was the first time you’ve even seen him ever since you broke up?” Namjoon curiously asks.
Immediately, Jeongguk feels his cheeks heating up. “Hm, not.”
“They have fucked each other like, three times after that,” Taehyung replies, rolling his eyes. “I swear, Jeongguk couldn’t be in a party or in a club with Jimin without them ending up sucking each other’s throats.”
The sexual tension between Jimin and Jeongguk have always been undeniable. That has been, after all, what dragged them together in the first place: they would always see each other around the university, and Jeongguk was immediately attracted to him, also noticing how Jimin stared at him in a knowing way. It was the older one, however, who made the first move when they were in the same party. They talked for the whole night until Jimin walked him to his college dorm, kissing him goodnight and asking for his number. Jeongguk would probably only look at Jimin from afar for years, being too shy to approach him.
For that reason, it felt natural to end up making out even after they broke up. Of course, they would always be drunk, and they never talked about it. Jeongguk would just end up in Jimin’s bed and leave in the morning before the other man woke up. That was until their third time doing that, when Jeongguk was about to leave and he felt a hand against his wrists, keeping him in the bed. Jimin simply looked at him with teary eyes, saying he couldn’t do that anymore.
Jeongguk went back to his dorm and cried even more than when they actually had broken up. Because, at that time, it finally felt like an ending.
And that morning, Jeongguk had the sweet taste of how it feels to be around Jimin, only to lose it again.
“A complicated relationship, I see.”
“You can say that, yeah,” Yoongi agrees with Namjoon, taking a bite of his chicken. “Just tell us how it went today.”
“I don’t know what there is to say. Jimin was kind and nice, but I wouldn’t expect anything differently. He got his master’s degree and he has his own clinic working as a child psychologist. His hair is purple now and he still looks handsome. Has a boyfriend and everything,” Jeongguk bites his lower lip, looking away. “And I may have lied about having one as well.”
“What?” Taehyung exclaims, almost spilling the juice he was drinking. “Why?”
“It was before Jimin had even mentioned that he had one. I just didn’t want him to think that I was tricking him into coming to the hospital just to get back together or something. I don’t know, I was confused,” Jeongguk groans.
“It’s okay, we won’t judge you for the decisions you made after hitting your head,” Namjoon says, patting on his uninjured leg.
“What happened after he dropped you here?”
“We just talked for a little while before Tae-hyung arrived, then he left.”
“Jeongguk is terrible with descriptions,” Taehyung complains while clicking his tongue. “Jimin was all smiling and radiant, and Jeongguk had literally heart eyes. And may I remind you he had literally just got out of the hospital. But as soon as I arrived, Jimin stormed out of the room like I was the plague.”
“He just had to leave,” Jeongguk says, always feeling a little defensive over Jimin. And he won’t acknowledge Taehyung’s comment about him having heart eyes.
“Gguk, Jimin just doesn’t like me. He never did,” Taehyung shrugs, getting more comfortable on the couch. “Not ever since that party.”
“What party?” Namjoon asks, watching everything like a scene from a movie.
“It was towards the end of the relationship,” Yoongi starts to explain. “Gguk and Jimin were fighting all the time. Not even fighting, actually, but more like annoyed at each other. So, when Jimin invited him to a dinner at his boss’ house, Jeongguk said he would rather go to a party with Taehyung. Which he did. And he accidentally called Jimin while he was drunk with Tae literally shouting in the back that his boyfriend was boring.”
“Oh dear.”
“It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if Jimin wasn’t already jealous of me and Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, not sounding remorseful at all for what he did, even though he had already apologized to both Jeongguk and Jimin. “I only made things, you know, worse.”
“He told me he was past that,” Jeongguk quietly mumbles, trying to find a comfortable position while still keeping his leg elevated. He’s still having trouble with adapting to the walking boot, but at least the painkiller has helped.
“He lied, then. Seriously, Gguk, I don’t think you saw the look on his face when I got inside the apartment. I almost forgot how scary Jimin can get when he is angry.”
Jeongguk lightly chuckled, remembering all the times he had seen Jimin angry. When Jeongguk went to his apartment and forgot to clean the dishes, or when he didn’t pay attention to Jimin because he was busy playing video games. In those moments, Jeongguk would just think his boyfriend was the most precious thing in the world, with a huge pout on his lips. However, when he got really angry, it was terrifying. Because Jimin is one of these people who doesn't shout or throw things against the wall; he simply shuts himself from the others, which included Jeongguk. He would turn off his phone, or get out of his dorm without saying anything, leading to Jeongguk being the one angry with Jimin’s stubbornness.
That, he doesn’t miss.
“It’s actually funny,” Jeongguk wonders out loud, making all his friends look at him with curious eyes. “I was thinking about Jimin-hyung just this morning.”
“Aren’t you always?”
“Shut up, Tae,” Yoongi is quick to defend Jeongguk from Taehyung before going back to stare at him. “Thinking about him, how?”
“It’s just this time of the year. He loves winter so much. Or loved, I don’t know,” Jeongguk corrects himself. “So he just crossed my mind. Five minutes before I almost got run over by that car. Then, I woke up in the hospital with Jimin there, after two years without even seeing him.”
“Do you think it was fate or something?” Namjoon asks. Jeongguk knows his friend isn’t asking about it to make fun of him, because they are all too familiar with his belief in destiny. Unlike Jimin, who had always been a little more realistic, Jeongguk is a total sucker for destiny, and he truly thinks that people are meant to be, just as everything happens for a reason.
“Am I being too naive for thinking it was?” Jeongguk admits, finally putting out what has been on his head the entire day. “It’s just that I always thought he was it. That we were meant to be with each other. Even when we broke up, I couldn't see us separately forever. I guess that’s why I took the initiative of ending things. It didn’t seem like a real possibility of being something permanent.”
“And now?”
“And now, three years have passed,” he sighs, starting to blink several times to avoid the tears from falling from his eyes. “I wish I could say I don’t regret doing what I did, but I’m not sure about it. Couldn’t we really figure something out? To find a middle ground? Fuck, he is dating now. And the guy sounds not only awesome, but just definitive. As in the kind of boyfriend you take home to meet your parents and you start to live together and you get a fucking dog together. I can’t help but to think that, you know, that-”
“That it should be you,” Yoongi helps Jeongguk, who is struggling with his words. He only nods affirmatively to his friend. “I get it, Gguk. Not really because I’ve never been through what you are passing, but I know it must be hard to try to act like a bigger person. You thought Jimin was the love of your life, so, obviously, you can’t be happy over him being with someone else.”
“Yeah, it’s one of those things which are easier said than done,” Taehyung points out, nodding in agreement with everything that Yoongi says. “And you’re not being delusional or anything. I’ve always said you two were perfect together, no one could ever think you wouldn't, you know, be together. I can’t blame you for thinking the same.”
“This sucks,” Jeongguk whines, sure that he must have a pout on his lips.
“But do you think you would have done something if he didn’t have a boyfriend?” Namjoon asks.
“Honestly? I’m not sure I would have the guts, hyung,” Jeongguk admits. During their entire relationship, Jimin had been the one who took the initiatives. He was the one who approached Jeongguk, the one who asked for his number, the one who pulled him in for their first kiss, the one who said I love you first, the one who asked him to be his boyfriend. Now that he thinks about it, the only time Jeongguk was the first one to act was when he ended things.
So yes, he doesn’t exactly believe he would gather enough courage to ask Jimin for another chance, or whatever Namjoon is implying.
“Maybe today was a sign, after all,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows. “You thought about Jimin, then he came back only for you to find out he has a boyfriend. Isn’t this a sign? That you two are done for good?”
“Tae, don’t be mean.”
“I’m not being mean, hyung,” Taehyung replies Namjoon before coming closer to Jeongguk, caressing his right cheek, “You know that, right, Gguk? It’s just that I was there to see you get over Jimin, and I saw how much it hurt. I don’t want you to relieve that pain again.”
Too late for that, Jeongguk thinks, chewing his lips. “Yeah, I get it. Thanks, hyung.”
After that, Namjoon and Yoongi walk to the kitchen to clean up everything, saying that Jeongguk will have a free pass for such duties for a few weeks – and he isn’t complaining. Then, Taehyung helps him to settle the bathroom, placing a plastic chair there so Jeongguk can sit while showering. It doesn’t look as bad as he thought it would be.
“Yell if you need anything. I don’t mind seeing you naked,” Taehyung says before winking at him and leaving the place.
Sighing, Jeongguk finally feels the tiredness from the day hitting him, even though he slept for hours. These painkillers are really something else, he thinks while taking off his sweatshirt. His boss had given him the week off, ignoring his protests, and he will work from home until he takes off the walking boot, only going to the company if it is extremely necessary. Honestly, Jeongguk is sure that he will end up going crazy if he doesn’t leave the apartment for the whole twenty days, so he will try to find little excuses as often as he can to visit Yoongi and Namjoon’s place, or maybe even go to the movies.
Showering turns out to be easier than he imagined, the hardest part being keeping his walking boot away from the water so it doesn’t get wet. Jeongguk takes it off quickly, just to put on his underwear and sweatpants, followed by a long-sleeved shirt. Just as he is about to pick up his crutches to leave the bathroom, he listens to the sound of a message notification coming from his phone, placed on top of the counter. He plans on ignoring it, but more notifications keep coming. Once he sees who had texted him, he almost drops it on the floor, immediately feeling how much his fingers are trembling.
Jimin-hyung [07:38 p.m.]
Hi Jeongguk-ah, I hope this is still your number
This is Jimin
Are you feeling better?
Jeongguk has to read the three little messages ten times before he begins to process the fact that Jimin had texted him. Not only had he seen his ex-boyfriend earlier that day after years, but now he is texting. And to know if he is feeling better. Jeongguk doesn’t even have to look at himself in the mirror to know that he must have the dumbest smile in the world on his face.
me [07:44 p.m.]
hey, Jimin-hyung
yeah, I’m much better
thanks again for today
Jimin-hyung [07:46 p.m.]
That’s good to hear :)
I wish you a speedy recovery
Good night, Jeongguk-ah
me [07:47 p.m.]
good night, Jimin-hyung
Oh no.
The indescribable feeling of euphoria. His heartbeat speeding its speed. The butterflies on his stomach. This all after one simple good night message.
Jeongguk knows all too well what this means. And he’s completely fucked.
How could he think he could get over Park Jimin?
_________________
The following day Jeongguk wakes up in a much better shape. The headache is practically gone, and his foot seems to be adapting well to the walking boot, only hurting a little whenever he has to actually walk. Taehyung had begged his boss to work from home so he could help Jeongguk, but his request had been immediately denied. Not that Jeongguk minds, though, since he is feeling perfectly fine to do things by himself.
He tries to enjoy his sick leave by watching every possible movie that has been on his list on Netflix for ages. Funny enough, a lot of them had been recommended by Jimin, who is a sucker for romantic movies, but would often give up his own preferences just so they could watch another superhero movie that Jeongguk loves. It makes him wonder if he had been a bad boyfriend in their time together, and he has to fight the urge of texting Jimin just so he could ask that.
Jimin, who Jeongguk can’t get out of his head. And considering that he had woken up with a morning wood, this fact applied to his dreams as well. Jimin, and his plumpy lips which did wonders around Jeongguk’s dick. Jimin, who now has purple hair, and it only makes Jeongguk wonder how he must look when he is naked. Jimin, who would always find new ways to fuck Jeongguk until he was sobbing.
It’s not like he hadn’t been with anyone else over the years. Quite the opposite. The months that followed their break-up, Jeongguk would end up in a different bed every weekend, doing his best to forget the way Jimin felt inside him. But as soon as they crossed their paths again in nightclubs and pubs, he just knew there would be no one else like Jimin. Yes, he had great sex with other people, some good enough that he even accepted going to second and thirds dates. They just weren’t mind-blowing, though. More than that, Jeongguk just couldn’t find anyone else as interesting and captivating as Jimin.
What a stupid decision to break up.
Around lunchtime, when he was in the middle of Before Sunrise, Jeongguk listens to a knock coming from his front door. He frowns, wondering if Taehyung had forgotten his keys, or if it could be Namjoon or Yoongi stopping by to see if he needs anything like they said they would. Jeongguk reaches out for his crutches, standing up from the couch and struggling to unlock the door with only one hand. To his surprise, there is a delivery man looking at him once the door is opened.
“Jeon Jeongguk?” He asks, slightly bowing in his direction.
“Huh, yes?”
“This is for you,” the man replies, taking off a paper bag from the box that he is carrying. Jeongguk frowns, not seeing a logo on it. And as long as he remembers, he hadn’t ordered anything online recently.
“I didn’t-, I think there is a mistake,” Jeongguk says, furrowing his eyebrows. “I didn’t order anything.”
The man takes his phone from his bag, checking something out before talking to Jeongguk again. “Do you know any Park Jimin? That’s the name of the person who paid me to deliver this.”
Jeongguk’s frown immediately fades away as he raises his eyebrows in complete surprise. There is no way he heard it right. Or did Jimin actually send him something?
“Park Jimin?” Jeongguk asks again so there is no room left for doubt.
“Correctly,” the man replies, handing Jeongguk the paper bag. He tries to balance it in one of his hands, putting all the effort in the world so it doesn’t fall. “Have a good day.”
And just like that, he turns around and walks away.
Jeongguk doesn’t move for at least a couple of minutes, staring at the bag in his hand. He knows that smell, but he’s afraid it might be only his brain projecting his deepest wishes. Slowly, Jeongguk walks to his dining table, placing the bag on top of it and sitting in one of the chairs. The first thing he sees once he opens it is a small, pink post-it stuck against a plastic container, recognizing Jimin’s handwriting.
Hey, Jeongguk-ah. I remember that my cookies always made you feel better whenever you were sick. So, I’m sending you a bunch of them hoping it will help you to heal faster. Fighting!
Jimin.
Once again, in less than twenty-fours, Jimin had made some kind of move to initiate an interaction between them. Maybe Jeongguk isn’t being delusional, after all. Is this Jimin’s way of trying to keep in touch, or is he just being nice by sending that to him? He knows how much Jeongguk loves those cookies. A cookie for a Ggukie, Jimin would say before giving him dozens of cookies through their relationship. Especially if he was sick or sad.
Three years without those cookies. Without even realizing what he is doing, Jeongguk puts one of them inside his mouth, not giving a fuck that he hasn’t had lunch yet. Overcome with different emotions and memories, he even senses a tear falling down his cheeks, not holding back an amused chuckle that leaves his lips.
Is he really crying because of a cookie?
Jeongguk ends up reaching for his phone, opening his conversation with Jimin and reading that exchange from the night before. It wouldn’t be weird to text him, right? He must be expecting that – a thank you message. Biting his lower lip in anticipation, he starts to type, deleting everything around five times before finally sending it.
me [12:04 p.m.]
hey, Jimin-hyung. I just got the cookies
thank you!
they still taste amazing
i’ll definitely recover faster
Jeongguk isn’t expecting a reply so soon, but a sound notification quickly comes from his phone as he puts it away.
Jimin-hyung [12:06 p.m.]
Hi, Jeongguk-ah!
I’m glad you liked them.
me [12:07 p.m.]
like? i LOVE them
you know, i tried to make some cookies a couple months ago
and they failed miserably
so i think you have an unique talent
Jimin-hyung [12:09 p.m.]
Ah, I see that your cooking skills haven’t improved.
me [12:10 p.m.]
*gasps* this is insulting
fyi, my cooking skills are amazing now
my problem is with baking
Jimin-hyung [12:13 p.m.]
Whatever helps you to sleep at night, Gguk-ah.
I still remember when you almost set my kitchen on fire trying to
prepare a surprise dinner.
Somehow, Jeongguk and Jimin end up texting for, at least, twenty minutes, remembering some of their tragic experiences in the kitchen. Only when Jimin tells him that his lunch time is almost over and that he has a client do they stop sending each other messages. And as silly as it was, doing that while eating Jimin’s cookies warms up his heart in a way that none of those romantic movies could ever do. It makes him feel like old times, only that they aren’t dating anymore. Worse of all, Jimin has a boyfriend.
He texts the group chat he has with his friends, asking who is available to talk with him. Not even two minutes later, he listens to his phone ringing.
“What’s up?” Yoongi asks. There aren’t many noises coming from the background, which must mean that he is working from home. One thing that all four of them have in common is that they are all architects – Jeongguk and Taehyung met through college, having classes together, and Yoongi joined the friendship group when Taehyung started an internship where we worked at the time. Namjoon is Jeongguk’s current co-worker, and the younger one was quick to introduce him to the rest, which led to Namjoon and Yoongi starting to date.
“Jimin,” Jeongguk admits, knowing Yoongi is probably rolling his eyes right now.
“What happened this time? Did you end up in the hospital again and he is there with you?”
“What? No!” Jeongguk exclaims, throwing his head back against the chair as he listens to his stomach growling. He really should have lunch soon. “He made me cookies, hyung. Then he sent a delivery man to give them to me.”
“Oh. Jimin’s cookies? They are delicious.”
“I know,” he groans, remembering all the occasions Jimin gave him some cookies and his friends tried to eat everything. “And that’s not all. We texted. As in, me and him actually talking.”
“I’m very much aware of what texting means, Gguk. What did you talk about?”
“Well, I texted him first to thank for the cookies, obviously. Then, I just mentioned that I’ve tried to make them before and failed, and he replied that I still can’t cook. I don’t know. We just started to talk about a few times we would try to cook something together, which usually would end up with Jimin doing everything and me watching him thinking he was the most handsome man in the world.”
“And how did you feel about that?”
“Stop talking like a therapist, hyung,” Jeongguk complains, his voice coming out as a whine.
“What do you want me to say, Gguk?” Yoongi asks, and Jeongguk only presses his lips together.
“Your opinion,” he quietly admits. “What do you think about it? Am I being delusional?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. From what I know of Jimin, he is just nice. I don’t think he would stop caring about you just because your relationship is over, so he would obviously worry about you being hurt,” Yoongi makes a pause, letting out a deep breath. “But he was the one who texted you last night. He was the one to send you the cookies that you love. And he surely doesn’t seem to have a problem with texting you. I don’t know, this seems to be a bit more than just caring about an ex-boyfriend.”
“Why do I feel that there is another but coming?”
“But,” Yoongi says, and Jeongguk groans in frustration, “he has a boyfriend, Gguk.”
“I know,” Jeongguk admits the truth that he has been trying to deny for the past day.
“I don’t want to see you getting your hopes up just to get hurt later.”
“It’s just weird, hyung. Because as far as Jimin knows, I’m dating as well,” Jeongguk says. Jimin has always been the most respectful person ever when it comes to other people’s relationships – he just doesn’t seem to be the kind of boyfriend who would talk with his ex and send him cookies while knowing that both of them were dating other people. He knows Jeongguk would overthink about it.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Yoongi says on the other side of the line. “What if he also lied about being in a relationship, right?”
“It’s just-”
“Gguk, don’t go down that road. It might not end up like the fairy-tale you’re wishing it will be.”
“I won’t.”
“Jeongguk.”
“I won’t,” Jeongguk insists. “I should go now, Yoongi-hyung. Lunch waits for me. Thank you for listening to me talking.”
“Jeon Jeongguk, promise me-”
“Bye!” Jeongguk interrupts Yoongi, ending the call before hearing his response. He goes back to his conversation with Jimin, re-reading their messages.
He is so going down that road.
_________________
During the three weeks that Jeongguk spends with his foot hurt, Jimin continues to send him different desserts every now and then. Cookies, brownies, cakes – always followed by a sweet message wishing for him to heal soon. Jeongguk doesn’t even care about how much weight he has gained, or how hard he will have to work out once he can. He can’t do that when he finally can taste Jimin’s fondness because of it.
Better than that, they don’t stop texting. Their conversations usually don’t last for long, and it’s only about trivial topics, such as the movies Jeongguk had been watching, or Jimin asking for suggestions about redecorating his apartment. But still, it’s something. It’s more than Jeongguk ever got for three years, and, little by little, Jimin becomes part of his life again. He wakes up thinking when they will talk, or if they will talk. He fights back the urge of asking more about Jimin’s life, if he is still scared of heights, if he ever wishes he would have followed a different career path. If he still looks at the night sky on his balcony before going to bed.
On that same morning, Jeongguk went back to the hospital, and the doctor said he was healing just fine, no longer needing to use the walking boot. Jeongguk still has some trouble walking, but the physiotherapy sessions that he will start in the following week supposedly will help with that. For now, he’s just glad to no longer have his foot suffocated, and that he will come back to work in the company. At this point, he misses having an actual routine that involves him leaving his apartment.
As he shyly smiles, Jeongguk opens his conversation with Jimin, who said he would be waiting to know how it went.
me [04:38 p.m.]
heeey hyung
guess who has a functional foot again?
Nice one, Jeongguk, Jeongguk thinks, scoffing as he rolls his eyes. He is about to delete his messages before Jimin sees it when he notices the other man is already typing.
Jimin-hyung [04:42 p.m.]
Really??? This is great, Jeongguk-ah.
me [04:43 p.m.]
yeah :D
i will still have to attend some physiotherapy sessions
but it’s fine
Jimin-hyung [04:45 p.m]
I’m glad for you!!
You’ll be fully healed in no time, I’m sure.
me [04:47 p.m.]
thank you, hyung
for all the desserts too
they always made my days
Jimin-hyung [04:50 p.m.]
Then that’s all I need to know.
Talk to you later ;)
For some reason, it feels like a goodbye to Jeongguk. Like the only reason why Jimin stuck around was because of him being injured. Now, his life will go back to normal – that is, Jiminless.
And the thing is that, during these three weeks, Jeongguk let himself believe Jimin didn’t have a boyfriend. He truly started to suspect if Jimin had lied about having one as well, because there would be no way for him to be okay with Jimin texting him every day.
As much as it hurts, Jeongguk needs answers.
So, he finally gathers enough courage to look at the older man’s profile on Instagram. They never stopped following each other, but Jeongguk did mute Jimin when they broke up so he could avoid drooling over his pictures and seeing how hot he looks. But he knows he will find some answers about the mysterious boyfriend there, so he writes Jimin’s username and clicks on it.
As expected, Jimin doesn’t have a lot of pictures on his Instagram profile. He had always been a more low-profile person, only posting on very special occasions. His feed has photos of different views, such as the sea from Busan or the Han River; a few selfies, showing off how beautiful he is; photos with Seokjin, including one of them going fishing together; and then, there it is. A picture with an unknown man, apparently named Jung Hoseok, and both of them look close. Way too close. Hoseok’s arms are around Jimin’s waist as they smile widely at the camera, Jimin with his arms open showing off the gigantic snowman in front of them.
Made a friend from scratch yesterday with @jhoseok94, the caption said. Jeongguk immediately clicked on Hoseok’s profile so he could stalk him, but his account is closed. Great. It doesn’t help that he looks handsome, with beautiful brown hair and a bright smile. Definitely someone who could be a sweet kindergarten teacher.
Maybe Jimin wasn’t lying, after all.
But what surprises Jeongguk the most is scrolling down at seeing that Jimin still has two pictures with him from the time they dated. One of them was at Jimin’s 22nd birthday, when he threw a party at his brand new apartment. The photo also has other people, but still – one can clearly see Jeongguk standing behind Jimin, his hands on the older one’s waist, and their faces so close that their cheeks are touching each other. The other one is just the two of them, their backs facing the camera as they stare at sea in the sunset, the time they spent the Holidays in Busan together. Jeongguk remembers every single detail of that afternoon, like when he held Jimin’s hands into his and confessed he was too afraid of losing him someday, and how he was reassured that would never happen. At that point, Jeongguk obviously knew he was in love, but it was the first time he realized he was standing in front of the love of his life, the person he had always dreamed of having by his side.
And still, Jeongguk let go of him. Even though deep down he knew there would never be someone like Park Jimin.
This can’t be it. It simply can’t be the end.
Before Jeongguk knows what he is doing, he stands up and orders an Uber, remembering Jimin’s address by heart. This will be the big romantic gesture he has been saving all his life. This is him, for once, taking control. This is him showing Jimin how he truly feels, even if it ends up in a heartbreak. Even if he has a boyfriend, he will try.
Because he’s done with regret. With wondering if things could be different.
During the car ride, Jeongguk tries not to think much about what could go wrong. Actually, he tries not to think about anything, knowing he wouldn’t have the courage to follow his plan. Fuck, can that even be considered a plan?
It will be alright. Jimin might feel something for me, with the desserts and how much we’ve been texting. Maybe he was sending them as a signal for me to act. And if he wasn’t, well. At least I can try to move on.
In less than ten minutes, Jeongguk is inside the elevator of Jimin’s building, looking at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t even thought about dressing up, wearing an old hoodie, sweatpants, and sneakers. Well, at least he had showered early.
His steps toward the apartment feel heavy, and it isn’t because of his foot. But there is also adrenaline running through his veins that make his heartbeat speed up. Jeongguk slowly raises his hand, knocking on the door and waiting for an answer. He should have at least texted Jimin to see if he was home. How embarrassing would it be if he isn’t? Would Jeongguk actually have the courage to come back again if that isn’t the case?
The door, however, is opened after a couple minutes, revealing someone that isn’t Jimin.
“Hello! How can I help you?” The man asks, and Jeongguk immediately recognizes him from Jimin’s Instagram. Hoseok looks ever more handsome in person, his smile brighter.
Little by little, all the excitement that was inside Jeongguk fades away.
“I’m, I, I-”
“You’re Jeon Jeongguk, right?” Hoseok asks, and Jeongguk can only gump down and nod. “I remember seeing you in Jimin’s photos.”
“Yeah.”
“He is at work right now, but it won’t take long for him to come back home. Would you like to come and wait inside?”
There is absolutely no need. Not when Jeongguk’s answer is standing right in front of him. Jimin is, after all, in a relationship. Why would Hoseok be in his apartment? Jimin never mentioned a roommate, and Hoseok looks far too comfortable to be just a friend waiting for him. Everything about the situation makes Jeongguk desperately want to throw up, thinking how much of a fool he must look standing in front of his ex-boyfriend apartment to confess his love when he knew he had a boyfriend.
“N-no,” Jeongguk stutters. He needs to leave quickly, before Jimin arrives.
“Hey, are you alright?” Hoseok asks, furrowing his eyebrows while he stares at Jimin.
“Yes. I-I just need to leave. Please, you don’t have to tell Jimin I was here. Don’t bother,” Jeongguk replies, the last part coming out like a whisper.
“Okay, but-”
Jeongguk only turns around and walks away, doing his best to avoid his tears from falling.
How could he be such a fool? A man like Jimin doesn’t just stay single, waiting for Jeongguk to be brave enough to go after him. How silly to think that he had been something other than just kind the past weeks. That he was sending signals.
How stupid of Jeongguk to ever considering he would be better without Jimin.
_________________
For hours, Jeongguk cries on his bed. He truly thought he had already gone through this phase when he broke up with Jimin, then when they stopped sleeping together. But seeing him again and being so close to having him back to his life is making everything even more painful to Jeongguk. Especially when he had let himself wonder. Wonder what they could have been.
Taehyung was with him most of the time, caressing his hair while mumbling reassuring words. However, eventually, the only thing Jeongguk wanted was to be alone. To let himself be sad for once, not caring about trying to feel better at all, despite his friends’ better intentions. He just isn’t in the mood of listening to them talking about how it is alright for him to feel like this, or that it will pass.
It won’t. He is well aware of that.
So when he listens to the door being knocked, Jeongguk thinks about just ignoring it. Taehyung is supposed to stay with Namjoon and Yoongi, as they all are probably waiting for him to text and asking them to come. But the knocking just continues, enough to even annoy Jeongguk, who is busy drinking beer while listening to sad songs. Blame him for acting like he had just gone through a break-up, because that is how it feels. Maybe even more painful.
“Hyung, I told you-”
Jeongguk immediately stops talking upon seeing who is standing on the other side. Jimin, as pretty as always, but he seems worried. Troubled. Even more when he stares at Jeongguk, probably noticing how red his eyes must be, as well as his swollen face.
“Jimin-hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles under his breath, blinking a few times to see if Jimin is going to disappear. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” Jimin asks, sounding distressed, but his eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s. The only thing he can do is nod, stepping aside to let Jimin come inside.
During the time that Jimin takes to take off his shoes, Jeongguk thinks about the different scenarios that might have led the other man there. The most obvious of them all is that Hoseok had told him that Jeongguk was in his apartment early, but why would he bother to come all this way to ask what he wanted? Is he upset with Jeongguk? Does he think that he overstepped a boundary?
“What’s wrong, Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin gently asks him, both of them staring at each other. “Are you alright?”
I’m anything but alright.
“I’m fine,” Jeongguk says, looking to his feet and crossing his arms defensively.
“What happened?” Jimin insists, clearly not buying Jeongguk’s lie. He knows him well enough. His face remains worried, and it hurts even more. To think that he’s able to care that deeply about Jeongguk even with them not being in a relationship.
“Hyung, I told you that I’m fine,” he replies, sounding more aggressive than he intended to. But well, Jeongguk has never been that good of a drinker, and the beers he had are only now causing some effect on his body. “Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be with Hoseok?”
Jimin tilts his head while crossing his arms, his kind expression soon going away. “What are you talking about?”
Despite the situation not being funny at all, Jeongguk still chuckles. He takes a few steps closer to Jimin, and he has never been more grateful for their height difference. “I’m talking about your very real boyfriend. You know what the worst part is?” Jeongguk asks, strongly biting his lower lip as he blinks away his tears. “It was that I actually believed that you still had feelings for me. Stupid, right?”
“Jeongguk, I-I don’t understand,” Jimin stutters, not moving an inch away from Jeongguk. He remains still, as they both stare at each other’s eyes. “You have a boyfriend.”
“There is no boyfriend,” his voice barely comes out while saying that, looking away from Jimin’s eyes. Not when he is so ashamed. “There never was. I just didn’t want you to see how pathetic I am.”
Silence falls upon them, and Jeongguk thinks that this is it. Jimin will put his shoes back, turn around, and won’t ever reach out for him again. This is the best case scenario, because he can also simply tell Jeongguk the truth: that he was the one who broke up with Jimin. He doesn’t have the right to continue to love him after all this time.
The last thing Jeongguk is expecting, however, is to feel Jimin’s hands suddenly holding his face, his fingers gently caressing his cheeks. As Jeongguk looks up, he is even more surprised to see Jimin with teary eyes, staring back at him with a very familiar expression. One that Jeongguk hasn’t seen in a long time.
Fondness. Affection. Love.
“You’ve been single all this time?” Jimin asks, and as soon as Jeongguk nods, his lips curl up into a smile. “And you still have…feelings? For me?”
“Do you really want to make me say it?” Jeongguk asks, furrowing his eyebrows. He has no idea of what’s happening, or why Jimin looks amused with this whole situation. Was this some kind of revenge he had planned against Jeongguk? Because of their breakup?
“Please, Jeongguk,” Jimin quietly pleads, and Jeongguk just can’t say no when there are such beautiful eyes looking at him in that way.
“I never stopped loving you, Jimin-hyung,” he confesses, never expecting it would feel so good. Like a weight has been taken off his shoulders. No matter what happens, Jeongguk is done with lying. Especially to Jimin, who never deserved anything other than the truth. “Breaking up with you was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, and I realized that a long time ago. Sorry that-”
Jeongguk is interrupted by a pair of lips crashing against his. Jimin’s lips. Jeongguk immediately recognizes them, soft and plumpy, but he just isn’t able to move. At all. He only shuts his eyes closed, wondering if he’s having another dream with the other man. After a few seconds, Jimin – yes, it’s definitely him and this is definitely real – pulls back, not without pressing multiple pecks on Jeongguk’s face.
“H-hyung,” Jeongguk stutters, trying to say something in the middle of Jimin’s pecks – his cheeks, his forehead, his nose. Jimin’s lips are everywhere. “I don’t get it.”
“Hoseok-hyung isn’t my boyfriend, silly,” Jimin replies, softly smiling at Jeongguk while holding his face.
“What?”
“He lives with me. Actually, he is Seokjin-hyung’s boyfriend,” Jimin says. Then, he leans forwards, delicately pressing his forehead against Jeongguk’s. The gesture is awfully intimate, their noses almost brushing against each other, and Jeongguk tries to make sense of everything that is happening.
“You told me you had a boyfriend,” Jeongguk quietly says, closing his eyes and sighing. He can’t believe Jimin is this close again.
“I did.”
“And?” He asks, too afraid of letting himself overthink the situation.
“And I broke up with him as soon as I came back from the hospital,” Jimin admits, at the same time that Jeongguk’s heart starts to beat faster. “It wasn’t fair to be with him when I realized I was still in love with my stupid ex-boyfriend who gets out in the middle of a snowstorm and almost gets run over by a car. Who still has the sweetest eyes in the world, and my favorite smile, and-”
This time, it is Jimin who is interrupted by Jeongguk’s lips, who was unable to hear the confession without doing something about it. Unlike him, Jimin wastes no time in kissing him back, both of them seeming way too eager to do anything other than that. Jeongguk moves his hands so he is grabbing the collar of Jimin’s shirt, pulling him close enough so their chests are almost pressed against each other. As a response, Jimin lowers his own hands until they are positioned on Jeongguk’s waist, pulling him in with the same desire.
The kiss is quick to intensify, the starting point being Jeongguk biting Jimin’s lower lip. He thankfully gets the message, opening his mouth until Jeongguk pushes his tongue inside, exploring the older man’s mouth like he is never going to do that again. Because the truth is, Jeongguk has no idea what this all means. He is sure of his feelings, and Jimin seems sures of his, but that doesn’t mean they will overcome everything that happened with them in the past. It might not be enough. This mere thought makes Jeongguk kiss him even harder, barely breathing while doing that.
Jimin, apparently, is thinking exactly that, pulling back just enough for him to separate their lips. “Breathe, Gguk,” he says, sounding breathless, but never stopping to caress Jeongguk’s skin. He hadn't even realized that Jimin had placed his hands inside his hoodie, just enough to touch his lower back.
“S-sorry,” Jeongguk replies, feeling his cheeks turning red while hearing the sound of Jimin giggling. “I-, we, it’s just-”
“I get it,” Jimin gently interrupts him, still smiling. Jeongguk will definitely combust. “It’s been a long time, huh?”
“I just missed you so much, Jimin,” Jeongguk says, feeling his eyes becoming watery. “If it wasn’t for me, we would still be together. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“I missed you too, but it wasn’t your fault, baby,” Jimin says, and just hearing the older one calling him ‘baby’ again is enough to make the first tears fall from his eyes. “We were both unhappy back then. You know it was the right thing to do, and I don’t blame you at all.”
“I keep thinking about this time that we’ve been apart when all could’ve been so easily avoided.”
“What matters is that we are together right now, Gguk,” Jimin replies, moving his hands away from his back until he’s sweeping Jeongguk’s tears away. “I know we won’t start a relationship immediately, or resume from where we stopped. But I just can’t do casual hook-ups and booty calls . I need to know you see a future with me, that you’re willing to try. I can’t break my heart again.”
Despite the harsh words, Jeongguk knows he needs to hear that. To know that he needs to show Jimin every day from now on that they are in this together. That he won’t let go of him again. That he isn’t scared.
Most of all, he needs to show how desperately in love he is.
“I love you so much, Jimin. I promise I can’t see my life with anyone else but you, and if you give me a chance, that’s exactly what I’ll show you.”
Jimin shyly smiles, pressing precisely three pecks on his lips before he moves back. “I love you too, bunny.”
They don’t need to say anything to go back to kissing each other, all unsaid words being expressed through the gesture. Everything is so familiar, but so new at the same time. Jimin still tastes the same, and he still seems to enjoy whenever Jeongguk pushes his head, exposing his neck so he can move down and trace the older one’s skin with his tongue. Without even thinking about it, Jeongguk places his lips exactly in the spot between Jimin’s neck and shoulder, leaving a small hickey, hoping it will remain there for a long time.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin moans, settling his arms around Jeongguk’s hips and pulling him close until he’s straddling Jimin’s lips, making it even easier to continue to kiss and bite his neck. Jeongguk can’t help but to smirk, feeling Jimin getting hard against his ass, knowing he isn’t any different.
“Fuck me, hyung,” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s ear, seeing the older man biting his lower lip and rolling his eyes from pleasure when Jeongguk starts to slowly grind against him. “I miss your cock.”
“Shit, baby,” Jimin sighs, slipping his hands inside Jeongguk’s pants and digging his fingernails against his skin. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush into doing anything.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about that,” he replies, moving so they can look at each other while talking. Jeongguk needs Jimin how desperate he is to feel Jimin even closer after years. “Please, Jimin. We will still talk about everything, but I just need you to fuck me right now.”
“Show me your room, then.”
Walking to Jeongguk’s bedroom is easier said than done, since neither of them seem to be able to keep their hands to themselves. More than once, he thinks about just asking Jimin to fuck him right there on the floor, or even in the kitchen counter. That’s one thing he will keep in mind for the future, wondering about the endless possibilities of them having sex in his apartment.
Jeongguk doesn’t bother to turn on the lights once they are inside, opting for the lights coming from his bedside lamp. There is no way he won’t see Jimin’s face tonight. That he will deny himself from looking at Jimin’s expression while coming inside Jeongguk. Not even on their first time having sex did Jimin try to hide it, always making it clear how good Jeongguk felt.
He hopes that hasn't changed.
“Take this off,” Jimin says between his kisses, rushing up to take Jeongguk’s hoodie from his body. Luckily, he isn’t wearing anything underneath, his naked torso immediately being exposed. “Fuck. How can you be even hotter than before, bunny? All of these fucking tattoos. I wasn’t able to stop thinking about them ever since I caught a glimpse at the hospital. Do you have any idea of how much power you have over me?”
“H-hyung” Jeongguk replies, moaning as soon as Jimin lowers down and starts to suck and bite his right nipple, completely abusing it. He had almost forgotten that he did most of his tattoos during his time separated from Jimin.
“Lie down, Jeonggukie,” Jimin mumbles once he is done, moving up closer to his ear and lightly biting it. “Let hyung take care of you.”
Jeongguk doesn’t need to be told twice, falling down with his back against his bed. Being careful to not brush his foot – which honestly, Jeongguk doesn’t even remember that is hurt –, Jimin takes off his sweatpants, leaving him only in his underwear. Seeing that Jimin still has all of his clothes on makes him slightly upset, anxious about seeing him naked again. Even with the clothes on, Jeongguk can tell he is even hotter than before.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin asks, positioning himself on top of Jeongguk, each one of his thighs pressed against his waist.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” Jeongguk replies. Maybe he is still a little drunk for the beers he was having earlier.
Jimin chuckles while looking fondly at Jeongguk under him. Then, he leans down, pressing a firm peck on his lips. “You’re cute,” he mumbles, going back to his previous position and taking off his shirt, maintaining eye contact while undoing each one of his buttons. But then, Jeongguk gets too impatient, moving his hands to help the older man while touching his soft skin, wondering how someone could be so perfect.
The sight in front of Jeongguk is a real blessing. In order for him not to miss anything, he even holds himself back from rolling his eyes when Jimin starts to kiss and suck his skin, lowering and lowering until he is in front of his very obvious erection. Jimin raises his head, pulling back his hair while looking at Jeongguk, waiting for a signal. Jeongguk knows that he won’t do anything that won’t feel good for both of them right now. So, he just nods his head, placing it back against the sheets while feeling Jimin’s cold hands lowering his underwear.
The moment Jimin starts to stroke his dick, Jeongguk doesn’t hold back the long gasp that comes from his mouth, followed by a moan. He doesn’t even get the chance to say something before Jimin moves, slowly licking his length before he begins to suck his head. The amount of pleasure he is receiving right now is so big that he has to dig his fingernails against his sheets, unconsciously lifting his hips as an attempt to thrust into Jimin’s mouth.
“Easy there, bunny,” Jimin says, taking Jeongguk’s dick from his mouth, but continuing to touch his balls while he speaks. “I’ll let you fuck my mouth some other day.”
Some other day. Although he was already expecting that this isn’t going to be a one time thing, it makes Jeongguk excited that they will have plenty of time have as much sex as they want, between many other things. He and Jimin are forever.
“Please, fuck me, Jimin-ah,” Jeongguk begs between his moans after Jimin sucks his dick for what if feels like the eternity. He doesn’t want to come unless the older one is inside him.
“Don’t need to ask me twice,” Jimin smoothly replies, leaving a hickey in the inner part of Jeongguk’s thoughts before he stands up. “Lube and condoms?”
“In the second drawer,” Jeongguk says, pointing to his bedside table. Jimin drops the lube and a condom right next to him, moving so he is taking off his pants and underwear at once, standing in all of his naked glory in front of Jeongguk. “Fuck,” he lets out, drooling at Jimin’s muscular thighs and abbs. “Come here.”
Jimin lies down on top of Jeongguk, tucking one of his brown locks behind his ear and leaving his hand there. “I like your hair a little longer like this,” he says, caressing his cheek.
“I like your purple hair,” Jeongguk replies, thinking that ever since they first saw each other in the hospital. “I like everything about you.”
He catches a glimpse of Jimin’s smile before he leans down, devouring Jeongguk’s lips, like they have been separated for years instead of minutes. Their bodies are completely glued, their legs intertwined, and Jeongguk thinks he can ever listen to their own heartbeats becoming one. He then hears Jimin opening the lube, without ever stopping to kiss him.
“Open your legs for me, Gguk,” Jimin mumbles, kissing his throat, and Jeongguk can only do as he is told, opening his legs enough for the other man to position himself between them. “Say the words and I stop, okay?”
Jeongguk nods, feeling Jimin circling his hole with his index finger before pressing it inside. While he takes his time to adjust to it, Jeongguk can’t help but to let out small whines in pain, which are quickly swallowed by Jimin, who keeps kissing him and whispering comforting words against his head, reassuring that he is doing fine, and that he will feel better soon. Jeongguk responds by digging his nails on Jimin’s back, searching for relief, and being almost sorry for doing it – except that he knows the older one doesn’t mind.
The time Jimin has three fingers inside him, Jeongguk forgets that he was even in pain. His fingers keep hitting his prostate, making him moan out loud in pleasure, not caring at all about his neighbors. Jeongguk leaves a strong bite on the crook of Jimin’s neck, letting out a smile when he thinks about waking up in the morning and having plenty of evidence of what they did on the night before.
“B-baby,” Jeongguk moans, throwing his head back.
“Everything alright, bunny?” Jimin carefully asks, stopping to move his fingers.
“Alright?” Jeongguk repeats, chuckling. If Jimin had any idea of everything that is going on in his mind right now. “I’m more than alright. I’m great. Fucking amazing.”
“Let me guess,” he replies, kissing Jeongguk’s chin. “You want me to fuck you already, don’t you?”
“Don’t make me ask,” Jeongguk says, both of them smiling.
“Sure, Gguk. Do you want to change positions?”
“This is fine,” Jeongguk shakes his head, moving so he is staring at Jimin. “Want to look at you.”
After kissing him one last time, Jimin moves back just enough so he can put the condom around his dick. Jeongguk frowns a little, remembering that they didn’t need to use one when they were together, and he deeply wishes this day could arrive soon. However, his worries immediately flow away the moment Jimin places his hands behind his knees, pushing them up and telling Jeongguk for him to hold his legs.
“Can I?” Jimin asks, and the only thing Jeongguk can do is nod, gulping down while staring at Jimin’s dick pushing forward inside his role.
Jimin takes his time, looking at Jeongguk every time and only moving the slightest bit if he sees that it is alright. As soon as he begins, though, Jeongguk places his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, bringing him closer as they resume their kissing. It doesn’t take long for Jimin to find a rhythm that is comfortable for both of them, probably remembering Jeongguk’s preferences. He thrusts deeper and deeper, holding the younger one’s thighs so strongly that he will definitely wake up with purple marks there.
“You’re so tight, babe,” Jimin moans against his ear, the sound being like music to Jeongguk. “Tell me, did you ever touch yourself thinking about me, hm?”
“Y-yes,” Jeongguk replies, not feeling embarrassed at all.
“Couldn’t find anyone who fucks you better than me, could you?”
“No,” Jeongguk says, letting out a loud moan when Jimin hits his prostate. He was wishing he would last long tonight, but he doesn’t think that will happen.
He sees Jimin smirking, probably realizing what he has just found. “Good. You will let me fuck you forever, right, bunny?”
“Forever,” Jeongguk agrees, frenetically nodding his head. “I love you s-so much, hyung.”
“I love you too, Gguk,” Jimin says, kissing Jeongguk, or whatever comes closer to that. With their moans, they can barely do that, only licking and biting each other’s mouth, sometimes harder than they should.
“I won’t last long,” Jeongguk lets Jimin know after some time.
“Shit, babe. Just a little longer, okay? You want to come together, don’t you?” He asks, and Jeongguk nods in agreement. “So pretty, Gguk. You’re the prettiest in the entire world.”
True to his words, Jimin thrusts for a few more minutes before he feels that he is close to coming. Then, he moves one of his hands so he is stroking Jeongguk’s dick – who, honestly, could come without being touched. Jeongguk isn’t sure which one of them comes first, but soon enough Jimin lets his body fall on top of his again, not caring about the cum between them. Both are breathless, and Jeongguk doesn’t feel like moving at all.
“Wait here,” Jimin whispers, kissing his cheek before he removes his dick out of Jeongguk’s hole, who already misses it.
Jeongguk closes his eyes, but he can still hear Jimin standing up from the bed and walking out of his bedroom, coming back a couple minutes later with a wet towel. He gently cleans Jeongguk’s stomach, doing the same on his own body. Then, Jimin throws it aside, going back to lay by his side.
“This was great,” Jimin says, and Jeongguk chuckles in response, turning his head to the side to stare at the beautiful man. Both of them know it was more than great, but it’s just one of those things that they don’t need to say out loud.
“It was,” Jeongguk agrees, moving closer so he’s laying on Jimin’s chest, sighing in relief from being in his favorite place in the world. Jimin seems to be thinking the same, kissing the crown of his head while caressing his back, pulling him even closer to his body. “There is so much I want to know about you, hyung.”
“Bunny,” Jimin says, tapping on Jeongguk’s back so he looks up, staring at the sweet smile on the older one’s face. “I know a lot has happened in our lives, but I promise you I’m not that different. You know my heart, and I know yours, and that’s all that matters. The rest, we will learn with time, okay?”
“Okay,” Jeongguk quietly agrees, pecking Jimin’s lips before he lies down again. “You know, I was thinking about you that morning. When I ended up in the hospital.”
Jimin hums in agreement. “What were you thinking about?”
“How we used to spend winter days together. How much you love snow. Things like that,” Jeongguk says, hiding his face a little because of what he is going to say next. “And you know how I am. Not even two hours later, you were there with me in the hospital room. And now we are here.”
“You think it was fate, right?” Jimin asks, his voice as gentle as always, and Jeongguk only nods.
“I know you don’t believe in it, but it’s still funny to me to see how it all ended up.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe in fate,” Jimin says, and Jeongguk moves again to look at him, knowing there is something else coming. “But I do believe we trace our own paths. I lied a little when I said I was scared to receive that phone call from the hospital, Gguk. Truth is I was terrified. They made clear that nothing bad had happened to you, but I just kept wondering if something had, and the fact that we were apart. That I would have to live without giving us another chance when I’ve always known you’re the love of my life. And the sparkle was still there when I looked at you. I made the decision to break up with my boyfriend and send you all those obvious signs that I wanted to keep in touch. Because if that’s what you wanted too, then nothing else would matter. I believe we decided to be together right here, right now, and give us another shot.”
Jeongguk blinks back his tears, biting his lower lip. He loves how they can think so differently, but in the end, still believing that they belong together. Whether because of fate or because they want to, it doesn’t matter after all.
“I can’t believe you’ll make me cry after sex,” Jeongguk whines, hiding his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck while he hears the older one chuckling.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, kissing his head.
“And I knew you were sending signs,” Jeongguk adds, pulling back and lightly slapping Jimin’s chest. “Yoongi-hyung kept saying you’re just nice, and he totally believed you would do that for any friend, but I just knew.”
“Of course I was! I thought you had a boyfriend, so I couldn’t go and say ‘hey, be my boyfriend?’, Jimin says, chuckling again.
“So you want to be my boyfriend, hm?” Jeongguk asks, wiggling his eyebrows. Deep down, however, he is nervous as fuck.
Jimin smiles softly, kissing Jeongguk’s lip. “Let me ask this again soon, okay?” He mumbles, and Jeongguk nods, knowing they should take their time. Again, there is no need to rush into things.
But this time, Jeongguk intends to be the one who will ask the question.
They resume their kissing, which quickly turns into another make-out session. As Jimin reaches out the drawer to grab another condom, Jeongguk completely misses the thousand text messages he is receiving on his phone, long forgotten in the living room.
Tae-hyung [08:48 p.m.]
I CAN’T BELIEVE I WALK INTO OUR APARTMENT
THINKING YOU WOULD BE DROWN IN YOUR TEARS
THEN I LISTEN TO YOU HAVING SEX WITH JIMIN
it’s college all over again
you better be getting fucked really well, because we will TALK in the morning
Oh yes, Jeongguk is definitely getting fucked really well.