Chapter Text
"Are you sure you don't want me to come over?" said Sango over the phone. She wanted to make one last ditch effort to comfort her friend in person. Kagome had sounded listless for days. It was clear her friend needed a shoulder to cry on. Solitude was a poor companion.
"I'm positive Sango," replied Kagome. "Honestly, there's nothing to worry about. We both knew this was a long time in coming."
Kagome had called off the wedding. Hojo, not putting up much of a fight, agreed. It was an amicable separation. They had been drifting apart for months. The wedding arrangements, parties, and well-wishes should have brought them closer together. Instead, it widened the rift between them.
When Hojo came home a few weeks ago and told her about his promotion she had been ecstatic. They never begrudged each other their accomplishments, it was one of the reasons they had become so close. Unfortunately Hojo's greatest accomplishment would require an even greater sacrifice on her part. His new appointment was in the United States, effective immediately.
Kagome did not want to leave Japan. Her career was also on the rise and her own promotion was just around the corner. Moving to the United States would destroy all that.
It was the first time they ever had a vicious argument. In the end, after the shouting ceased and their heads cooled, both of them saw their relationship for what it was. They simply did not love each other as much as they loved their work. They couldn't marry each other, because they had already married their jobs.
Kagome walked over to the window and watched the raindrops slip down the glass. "Besides," she continued, sensing Sango's rising concern. "It's terrible outside. Nobody should be driving in this. So I'll talk to you later, alright?"
"Ok," replied Sango, in a tone that seemed to express the exact opposite. "But call me tomorrow."
Kagome hung up, continuing to look at the glass, and watched the tiny water droplets trace patterns on the window. She hadn't lied, it was a miserable day. A dark gloomy day that reflected her mood and she wanted nothing more than to walk outside and embrace it.
Kagome didn't bother with an umbrella. She walked out the back door, past the dry expanse of the awning into the backyard, right into that cold, harsh, rain. It didn't take long for her to get drenched and she ran her hands through her hair as the wet strands plastered to her skin.
Hojo picked up the last of his belongings that morning. They spoke only for a brief moment before he left. The conversation was forgettable. Both of them using cordial banal questions and comments to mask their feelings. Now he was gone, and their home seemed as vacant as her heart. She stood in the rain and finally allowed herself to cry.
Kagome lost herself in the white noise of the storm and tilted her head up to the sky letting the cool water hit her face. It was strangely cathartic, as if the Earth's tears were washing away her own. Maybe when the rain stopped and the sun came out she would feel renewed or at least ready to move on. She hoped so.
"You are going to catch cold."
Kagome did not need to look in order to know who it was. She always seemed to be able to feel him whenever he was close by. He claimed it was a latent ability. A power she was wasting by refusing to exploit it. She said he found too much enjoyment in exploiting everything, that there was more to life than power.
It was a odd sensation, like a static charge skimming across the fine hairs on her skin, but it wasn't painful. It was almost relaxing, a feather touch against her senses. This feeling was particular to him, a marker that was one-of-a-kind. Even if she had not sensed him, she would have still known who it was. Sesshoumaru's voice was as distinct as the dangerous power he radiated, as soothingly seductive as the force she felt prickle against her body.
Sango and the rest of her friends never understood why she befriended someone like him. He was icy, aloof, and had absolutely no qualms with using people for his own gain. Kagome knew that was all true, but she also thought he was brilliant, interesting, and incredibly attractive. Unfortunately, so did a lot of other women.
Kagome flat out refused to be like all those other females. Instead she only offered friendship to a demon that was notorious for giving most people, especially humans, the brush off. To the amazement of many, Sesshoumaru not only accepted her offer but returned it. She would always remember the day she broke through his defenses.
"What," he had said disdainfully, throwing a glare at the bento box, "is that?"
"It's called 'lunch'. Since you couldn't go out for some I figured I'd pick something up for you," she said pleasantly.
He had refused to eat with her every time she asked, but Kagome was undeterred. She refused to believe he was as cold as he acted.
Sesshoumaru got up and walked around his desk. Then he shoved the box with just enough force and accuracy to make it slide across the table right into the trash bin. He was on top of her so fast that she stumbled back a step.
"You are buying me lunch now?" He said mockingly. "What is to occur next? Dinner?" He let his eyes slide down her body suggestively and put a bit of heat into his next words. "Perhaps breakfast?"
Her mouth became a tight line and she stood up straight, looking him right in the eye. Her voice never wavered.
"Don't think you can speak to me like all the other tramps that come trotting through here. I've been nothing but nice to you Sesshoumaru. Given our business relationship I've treated you only with respect. If you are unable or unwilling to do the same, then all you need to do is say so. I'm done wasting my time here."
Then she turned around and walked out not bothering to wait for his response. The next day, much to the delight of the gossip mongers in the office, he joined her for lunch.
She was the only female Sesshoumaru considered to be a true equal and not a servant or a plaything. Despite the rumblings of the gossips, Kagome cherished their friendship. Demons and humans rarely mixed socially and she recognized how singular their relationship was. That's not to say there wasn't tension between them, lingering thoughts of taking it past simple camaraderie. There was, but neither of them ever stepped forward to cross that line.
Kagome wiped the water from her eyes before she looked at him. "Why are you here? Is it your birthday or something?"
This was a running in-joke between them. He would disappear for weeks or months and when he reappeared she would ask him if it was his birthday.
Demons did not celebrate birthdays and Kagome had always itched to know what his true age was. Sesshoumaru would torture her by never revealing it, but sometimes he would say something, an old turn of phrase, an outdated reference, and it would expose just how long-lived he really was.
Of course, every time she saw him he looked like he hadn't aged a day. She would tease him about that too. He claimed that he was indeed aging. Despite popular belief, demons could grow elderly, the process was merely more gradual. If Kagome lived to see 100, Sesshoumaru would probably look like he was just scratching 30. She tried not to let that fact bother her, sometimes she succeeded.
"Oh I know," she said mockingly. "You're here to tell me, 'I told you so'?"
He remained under the awning, leaning on one of the banisters. "Perhaps," he said casually.
Sesshoumaru didn't believe in commitment and he definitely saw little value in marriage. When Kagome told him about her engagement, he told her point blank that she was wasting her time and it wouldn't last. She knew how he felt about relationships but that didn't keep her from getting angry.
The irony was that Sesshoumaru was the one who introduced her to Hojo. By all rights he should have taken pride of place at their wedding since he had unwittingly been the matchmaker. Instead he told her not to bother sending him a wedding invitation.
She had accused him of being jealous. Sesshoumaru actually laughed, a rare event, and said soberly, "Kagome, If I were jealous you would know it...so would Hojo." Kagome believed him. She knew he could be vicious in order to get his way. He had never been cruel to her, but she knew what he was capable of. She saw that cruelty cast with wicked effect on others that he held no respect for.
They continued to yell at each other right in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Well, she had yelled. Sesshoumaru just countered every word she said in that calm blasé manner that drove her to distraction. That was the last time they had spoken to each other. Now he was back, and she knew he would never completely apologize for what he said that day. Why should he? He was right.
Kagome snorted and walked back under the awning. "Wonderful. You can leave now," she said coolly.
He crossed his arms. "You can lash out at me if you like, but I will not leave until I choose to." Then his tone changed, becoming slightly warmer than usual. "I did not come to gloat Kagome."
She sighed and slightly slumped, feeling tired. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Without preamble, he took off his jacket and gave it to her. She simply took it and slipped it over her shoulders. In truth, she was freezing. Standing out in the frigid air and pouring rain with only a t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of thin socks. Not very bright, and she probably would get sick later, but right now she felt good. It was the first time in weeks that she did not feel alone.
Kagome was usually the first one to verbally apologize whenever they argued. Sesshoumaru only asked for forgiveness on very few occasions and even then he never did it vocally. Giving her his jacket was his awkward way of saying, "I'm sorry too."
Sesshoumaru looked behind her to the half-closed door that lead back into the house. "I see he has already moved out."
She wrapped the jacket tighter around her. It was warm and it smelled like him, fresh and clean, like the air of a forest on a crisp spring day.
"Yeah," she replied softly. "He picked up the last of his stuff today. He-He's leaving for California soon."
Sesshoumaru heard the catch in her voice and looked back at her. He did not know the specifics about why they called off the wedding, but he knew enough to guess. One of the many things he admired about Kagome was that she was just as ambitious as he was. Her work meant everything to her and she would never simply pick up and leave it behind. Obviously, Hojo was of the same mindset.
"I see," he said carefully, taking in her appearance. She looked like she had not slept or eaten. He would never admit it, but she worried him.
"It's a great opportunity for him, really," she said defensively. "He'll be head of the entire department." She laughed and it lacked any humor. "I wouldn't be surprised if he takes over the whole division in less than a year. I-"
"Kagome," he interrupted quietly, stilling her ramble.
Kagome only babbled on about something when she was truly upset. Sure enough, as soon as she stopped talking Sesshoumaru saw her face fall just before the tears did. Normally, he would walk away or tell a crying female to dry up or something equally as scathing. He never cared for a woman's tears, but Kagome wasn't just any woman. Not to him.
Sesshoumaru pulled her to him gently and held her as she cried into his chest.
"You were right," she said through the tears. "Commitment is for suckers."
He stroked her back through the jacket, and replied flippantly. "Do not ever reveal that I said this, but I am not always correct."
He heard her sniffle and give a weak laugh at the statement. Sesshoumaru never joked. He was actually dead serious every time he spoke, but sometimes he said things in such a deadpan manner that she had to smile at it.
"You are not a fool," he added seriously. "You thought you loved him."
"I thought I did," she replied softly. "I thought he loved me too."
Sesshoumaru wiped a tear away from her cheek with his thumb and caught her eyes. They were wide, red rimmed, and shimmering with unshed tears. He had caught the eye of many females, demon and human, that were of great beauty. Even in their rheumy state, he never encountered a female with eyes as lovely as hers.
"I believe he did," he said honestly. "He would be a fool not to."
Before Kagome knew what she was doing she leaned into the hand that held her cheek. She was edging dangerously close to that line they refused to cross. Yet, it felt so good to have him there. He always seemed to be there whenever she needed him, and she needed him now.
Sesshoumaru claimed that the color of his irises was common in dog demon circles. Regardless, Kagome always thought his color was unique, a curious mix of warm gold and amber with minuscule flecks of green. Twin discs of mirrored bronze, rimmed in long black lashes, reflecting an ancient soul within.
Kagome felt herself moving forward, falling deeper and deeper into those pools of golden-amber and specks of green. The kiss was so light that both of them barely felt it. A brush of lips so soft that for a moment she thought she was daydreaming. Suddenly, she wanted to be in the rain again. She wanted to play out this dream and damn the consequences. So she let his jacket fall to the ground.
When she started stepping backward, out from under the awning, she took him with her. The hard rain soaked him through in no time at all and she ran her hands through his wet silver hair as she deepened the kiss between them.
Sesshoumaru also seemed lost in the frenzied moment. His hands found her waist at the same time her blunt nails grazed his scalp. He lifted her as if she weighed nothing and she wrapped her legs around him never breaking the kiss for a moment.
Kagome began it, but he took control. She felt a long tongue slip over her upper palette, toying with her own tongue in ways that made her body warm even in the chilly wind-swept rain. Their embrace burned her from the mouth down and she briefly pulled back to skim her lips over the markings on his cheekbones and slowly across the prussian blue crescent moon on his brow.
Sesshoumaru took the opportunity to run his mouth down her neck, placing sweltering kisses on every exposed inch of moist flesh. He sucked hard enough that it left marks on her skin and was rewarded with a soft moan each time. She ran a finger over the point of a sensitive ear and it made him shudder and suck harder. They were feeding off of each other's need, lost in a whirlwind of ecstasy that only pure lust could bring.
She rubbed against him through their clothing, luxuriating in the hard body sliding wetly against her own. Her heart was thudding and each languid thrust against him made her moans grow louder. With damp hands she managed to unlatch the top buttons on his dress shirt and slip her hands as far as they could go over his rain-soaked upper chest. When she tweaked a nipple and ground against him roughly, she felt the hardness of him even through her jeans. Sesshoumaru felt his libido begin to spiral out of control and began to thrust back just as fiercely.
Their combined actions forced a low growl from him and it was the sound of his voice that broke him away from the passion of the moment. Sesshoumaru stopped his ministrations, but Kagome barely noticed. She continued to grind against him, pulling at him desperately to finish what she started. But he couldn't do it. He hadn't come to seduce her, only check on her to see if she was alright.
If it had been anyone else, he would have proceeded. It wouldn't have been the first time. If a female offered herself in grief only to have misgivings later that was hardly his concern. But this female was his friend, perhaps his only true friend. Sleeping together while Kagome was so emotionally unstable wouldn't do either of them any good. She had crossed the line, but he was the one who decided to push her back to the other side.
Sesshoumaru pulled away and forced her legs to drop from his waist. Kagome blinked rapidly like she was coming out of a deep sleep.
"Wh-what?" she said, still half dazed. "I thought-"
"No," he said firmly. "If you wish to rebound Kagome, find someone else. I refuse to play that part, even for you." He pulled her back under the awning and picked up his discarded jacket, tugging it around her. "Besides," he continued. "We both know you will regret it afterward."
He walked to the back door leaving her there huddled in his jacket. She did not try to call him back. When Sesshoumaru made up his mind about something it was damn near impossible to change it.
"Do not go to work tomorrow," he said pointedly over his shoulder, and with that last comment he left.
Sesshoumaru knew her all too well. If she went to work she would drown herself in paperwork in order to shut the world out. She would bury herself in meetings and proposals until he was forced to dig her out again. Going to bed with her best friend would not ease her loneliness. Working herself into a stupor wasn't going to assuage it either.
Kagome pulled his jacket even tighter around her and took a deep breath to slow her heart, trying to erase the carnal image of them grinding against each other in the rain. She really needed a warm shower and a hot cup of tea right now. Tomorrow she would give Sango a call and ask if she wanted to do something, anything. The weatherman said the rain would finally stop tonight. Mother Nature was obviously tired of grieving, and so was she.