Chapter Text
“Is this for real, Hatake?” Tsunade slammed the folder down on the end of the hospital bed where Kakashi had been recuperating from chakra drain.
“Ah, Hokage-sama, welcome to my humble hospital room. As far as I know, we are not in a genjutsu, and therefore yes, it is for real.” Kakashi's voice was bored and insubordinate, but he didn't care. He was in too much discomfort and he knew that he could get away with it.
“Don't be a smartass,” Tsunade said, pointing a finger at him. “You are in deep shit, kid.”
“What do you mean?” Kakashi asked. His mind immediately went to his students. Had something happened while Naruto was off with Jiraiya? Had Sasuke made an appearance? Even as chakra-depleted as he was, he could rally if he had to, for the sake of his students.
She opened the folder and motioned to some jumbled-up numbers on the page. “I just got the results from your blood test. Your hormones are completely abnormal ! What have you been doing to yourself? I'll want to check your mate's bloodwork as soon as possible in case that's what's throwing you off. You could have a psychotic break or a damned stroke if we don't get this figured out,” she was at once exasperated and commanding, whirling around Kakashi's bed like a force of nature.
Well. Shit. His relief that nothing had happened to his students was quickly replaced by awkward worry. “Ah, about that...” Kakashi forced himself to smile. “I actually don’t have a mate.”
Tsunade the human cyclone paused and fixed her fierce amber glare on Kakashi. “What? Is it not still the policy that all jounin alpha shinobi in the village are required to have a mate by age 20?”
“As far as I know, that's generally the requirement,” Kakashi hedged, though he knew that she was absolutely right. He should have been married and mated many years ago.
“So why don't you have a mate, Hatake? How have you been handling your ruts? On your own or...”
Kakashi avoided her gaze pointedly, and Tsunade looked back down at the chart, still open, splayed across his feet over the worn hospital blanket. She shook her head, eyes narrowed as she read the numbers again, this time with more knowledge of Kakashi's personal life. “Blockers. Dammit Hatake, how long?”
“Since I was 18,” he admitted. There was no use hiding it from Tsunade.
She let out a long sigh and straightened up, her hands on her hips. “I don't know how you convinced Sandaime to let you abuse your body like this, but it ends now. You'll be married before you leave this hospital at the end of the week, and mated before the end of the month. I'll put Shizune in charge of this project. No blockers or meds allowed for you and whoever we assign to you until your hormones are back within normal parameters.”
“Shouldn't I get a say in this?” Kakashi asked, but it was pure orneriness. He knew that what he had done was unwise—alphas who remained unmated and blocked their ruts for too long were a huge risk not only to themselves but to others as well, and active duty jounin even more so.
But the thought of having another rut scared Kakashi to his core. The first and only rut he had experienced had been a disaster which he never intended to repeat. Being on blockers kept him at a beta-like steadiness, it let him live in a world without heats and ruts and scents and all of those things that got in the way of doing what he needed to do–first in ANBU and then as an elite jounin for the village.
Besides, he had been under the impression that there was no real danger of snapping so long as he remained on the hormonal medications. And so when his 20th birthday passed and no one ordered him to get married and mated, and he realized that most people in the village assumed he was a beta, he did nothing to correct them. The only person who knew the truth was Tenzou, and he was too loyal to out Kakashi, thankfully.
Part of him imagined that someday he would get in compliance when he had time. (He never had time) Or if he found the right man…but Kakashi had the added complication of not only being an alpha, but a jounin, and a gay one at that. There weren't a lot of people willing to take on someone with those descriptors. Throw in his notoriety, nasty sobriquets, and his demanding mission schedule, and finding any willing partner (much less a mate) had always seemed impossible. So he had just kept going with his lie of omission. He never took a partner and he kept up with the hormone blockers religiously.
“You had eight years to deal with this,” Tsunade said, gathering up Kakashi's file and snapping it closed. “Now you get what you get.” She shook her head at him one last time, then breezed out like a hurricane moving on to another shore.
Well. That was fair. His secret was out and there was no going back. He would just have to deal with it and hope that whoever he ended up with was prepared for the shitstorm that was Hatake Kakashi. God help them.
*
Shizune made quick work of following up on Tsunade's orders. Two hours after Kakashi's visit from the Hokage, the dark-haired medic-nin was sitting at Kakashi's bedside, the stack of files of potential mates in hand.
“Ah, there's just one problem with these options,” Kakashi said lightly, scanning the files that Shizune had handed over. Each one had a photo, a profile, and was accompanied by a clear plastic baggy containing an item of clothing scented by each possible mate, presumably to check for compatibility. But Kakashi knew without sniffing that none of these would work for him.
“Kakashi-san, I'm very sorry about the small selection. If none of these candidates are suitable, then we're going to have to start looking through the civilian files, which is...riskier for them, as you know. But there just aren't many women willing to mate a jounin alpha.”
“I'm sure that's true,” Kakashi mused. He pushed the files back towards her across his lap. It was inconvenient to still be in the hospital, but then, Tsunade had said that she wouldn't release him until he was married. “But unfortunately I'm about to make your assignment even more difficult.”
“How so?” Shizune asked warily.
“I prefer men.”
Shizune's shoulders sagged and she pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “Kakashi-san!” she groaned. “You're making this impossible!”
“Well, if you can convince Tsunade-sama to just let me continue blocking my hormones indefinitely—”
“Absolutely not!” Shizune looked pained. “There are side effects of those medications, Kakashi-san! You could suffer a stroke, or an aneurysm, or any number of other health issues! The effectiveness can also wane over time, and cause violent incidents and unexpected ruts! And after looking at your numbers…” She shuffled through the papers and pulled up the chart that Tsunade had slammed onto his bed earlier, and her brows drew down in concern, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip.
“Ah,” Kakashi felt a little bit sheepish. He hadn't been aware of that . The dangers to himself didn’t concern him so much, but the idea that he could have a spontaneous rut…that was the exact reason he had been so secretive about his nature and so dedicated to remaining on blockers. It would be a disaster.
“As for your preferences, I'll look,” Shizune said. “Maybe there is someone...but I can’t make any promises.”
“Thank you for helping me,” Kakashi said honestly. “I know very well that Tsunade-sama could just...force me to take whatever woman she deems suitable, and I would just have to deal with it, despite my preferences.” He had heard of such things. It was likely that his own parents had been such a couple. He rubbed a hand over his hair and sighed, bone tired by the idea of something so unpleasant happening to him.
He wished for a moment that he had done like Tenzou, who had reported as required just before his 20th birthday and was happily mated to a busty civilian omega woman. They were even expecting a baby, he remembered. But then, no. That kind of life wasn’t for him. He would do this because it was required, but he would much rather remain alone. He wasn't cut out for companionship, or family. He was the friend-killer, after all.
“Oh,” Shizune's face softened. “It won't come to that. You may have to settle for a civilian, or someone a bit outside of your age range, but...we'll figure it out. Tsunade-sama just cares a lot, which is why she is so insistent.”
Kakashi didn't have an answer to that. Perhaps the Hokage cared about his well-being, or perhaps she just didn’t want an unstable alpha jounin running around who was in danger of snapping. Either way, Tsunade was right. He’d had 8 years to look for someone suitable. It was about time his nature caught up with him. It caught up with everyone eventually.
*
Iruka looked down at the file that Shizune handed him, disbelief coursing through his brain, blinding him to all other thoughts, like a light too bright shining directly into his eyes. When he had been summoned to the hospital on urgent business in the middle of the school day, he had assumed that he would be receiving some kind of bad news, but he hadn't in any universe been expecting this .
A flush, embarrassingly, was creeping up his neck and into his cheeks, and he couldn't tear himself away from the photo in the file. The name at the top read Hatake Kakashi , but Iruka hardly would have recognized it since the handsome man in the photo wasn't wearing Kakashi's customary black mask over the bottom half of his face. Iruka was surprised at how far down the scar over Kakashi's eye went, slicing through his cheek almost all the way to his lip, and the cute mole dotting his chin, and...wow. Kakashi was really good-looking.
“You are, quite literally, the only bisexual male shinobi omega in the entire village,” Shizune was saying, when Iruka's ears began working again. “You fit every preference. Honestly, if you're not willing, it's likely that Tsunade-sama will make it an official command. She values Kakashi-san as a friend and as an asset to the village, and his health and wellbeing are of prime importance.”
“A command?” Iruka echoed, his throat suddenly dry. The fact that Shizune mentioned it meant that he really didn't have a choice after all, if the options were to go willingly into the wolf's den or be pushed in.
“I believe Kakashi-san is a good man, once you get past his aloof exterior,” Shizune said.
“I'm familiar...with Kakashi-san,” Iruka said, but it seemed like his voice was coming from someone other than himself. He finally looked up from the photo and met Shizune's apologetic gaze. His interactions with Kakashi had been brief. In fact, he hadn't ever really considered that Kakashi was an alpha. During their interactions, which had become heated on more than one occasion, he had never smelled any kind of spike of aggression, or really any scent at all. He had assumed that Kakashi was a beta like Shizune. And besides, if Kakashi was an alpha, then why hadn't he picked or been assigned a mate when he turned 20, as was the usual requirement?
“Would you mind smelling his sample?” Shizune asked. “I'm afraid he's been on hormone blockers for quite some time, so it's not particularly strong, but it's what we have to work with.” She offered Iruka a sealed plastic bag and he took it automatically, despite his misgivings. Well, blockers would certainly explain Kakashi’s lack of an obvious alpha scent when Iruka had been around him before.
Shizune smiled and then stood. “I'll give you a moment of privacy,” she said, and then left him alone in her office, closing the door behind her.
Iruka nodded, feeling numb with disbelief. Robotically, he opened the bag, dipped his face down to the black fabric inside, and inhaled deeply.
His first impression was pleasant, thankfully. The scent was mild, probably from whatever medications Kakashi had been using to block his hormones, but from what Iruka could tell, it was masculine, and earthy, with a little bit of sharp spice to it. It neither sent a thrill of arousal through him nor had him recoiling in disgust. It was a normal, manly scent, and basically unremarkable. Part of him had been hoping for a better reaction, honestly. Or a worse one, so that he would have a reason to refuse. (Not that he would be able to refuse, really.)
He zipped the bag back up and opened the door to Shizune's office. The medic-nin was waiting just outside, her anxious face searching him for any sign of his reaction.
“It's acceptable,” Iruka said honestly.
“So you'll do it? You'll mate Hatake Kakashi?”
“I...” Iruka hesitated. Tsunade-sama was right, Kakashi was too important to the village to be put at risk by not having a mate, and Iruka...was the only qualified candidate. If his options were to go or be forced, he'd rather do it on his own terms. “I will,” he said.
Shizune's face broke out into a bright smile. “Wonderful! We can go upstairs to make it official as soon as I alert the Hokage!”
“Wait, what? Now!?”
But Shizune was already darting off down the hospital hallway, leaving Iruka standing in the doorway with Kakashi's file in one hand, and his scent sample in the other.
Well....this was happening.