Work Text:
A girl sat hunched over in her chair, doodling away on a piece of paper, occasionally looking up to check that the teacher hadn’t seen her not paying attention. She tried to make sense of the countless scribbles on the board, before diverting her attention back to the piece of paper. Geography had always been a struggle for her.
“Hey.” Someone tapped her chair. She turned around and was met by a girl with soft, brown eyes. “You’re Minjoo, right?”
Minjoo nodded at the girl who’s name she vaguely recalled to be Yujin.
“Do you have a group for the science project? We’ve only got four people and we need one more. Do you want to join?”
Minjoo raised an eyebrow. “You want me to join?” She pointed at herself. This was new. She wasn’t exactly an outcast, but she was friendless. Everyone knew that the popular group of girls didn’t like her that much, and Minjoo herself never made an effort to open her mouth and talk to anyone unless it was necessary. She was always the last person left when they did group projects, never really presented a choice as to which group she would join. Frankly, she never had an issue with it either. She was always alone, but she was never lonely.
But here she was. Someone had actually asked her to join their group. Minjoo was neither happy nor upset. She was just surprised.
“You don’t have to join if you don’t want to, I mean…it’s up to you, really.” Yujin smiled.
“Oh. I’ll join, then.”
Yujin beamed at her. “Great. We can discuss the project during lunch?”
Minjoo nodded. Yujin smiled and turned back to her geography worksheet.
-
Minjoo sat, scrutinising the requirements of the science presentation. The other girls were seated beside her in a circle. but none of them seemed to be paying attention. Yena, Yuri and Yujin were bickering away noisily. There was another girl in their group, Chaewon, but she had barely spoken a word since the start of lunch period. Minjoo was actually beginning to wonder if Chaewon didn’t like her.
Chaewon was currently staring blankly at the floor, twirling a pen between her fingers absentmindedly. It was only when she dropped the pen onto the floor did she seem to jolt out of her own thoughts.
Minjoo caught Chaewon’s eye before looking back down to her paper.
Out of the corner of her eye, Minjoo saw Chaewon nudge Yujin hard in the ribs. Immediately, Yujin stopped arguing with Yena and Yuri.
The tallest girl cleared her throat sheepishly. “Okay guys, let’s start on the project.”
They spent a productive half an hour discussing the project, but they quickly got sidetracked. In the end, they agreed that it would be better to arrange a meeting one day after school to do the project.
Minjoo noticed that Yena and Yujin were easily the most outspoken of the group, the kind of people who spoke before thinking and never had trouble voicing out their own opinions. They were funny and they were…very disruptive. Yuri was considerably less talkative, but everything she said was either funny or relevant to the project. Minjoo took a liking to the three.
Chaewon, however, did not speak much during their short discussion. In fact, the only things she said were directed towards Yujin, and they were spoken so softly that Minjoo, despite sitting only one person away from Chaewon, could not make out what she was saying. Minjoo guessed that she was funny though, because Yujin laughed at most of her remarks. Despite her lack of participation in the discussion, she was the one who wrote down all of their ideas, the one who reworded them to be more appropriate and occasionally seeking Yujin’s opinion before penning down her own ideas. Chaewon was probably the smartest out of the four.
Minjoo wasn’t sure how she felt towards Chaewon.
“Okay, thinking so much made me hungry, I’m going to the canteen.” Yujin tugged on Chaewon’s wrist, an unspoken request for the raven-haired girl to come with her. The latter complied and got to her feet.
“Do you want anything, Minjoo? I can buy something for you.”
“Help me buy a chocolate waffle?” Minjoo pushed some money into the tall girl’s hand.
As the two exited the classroom and walked off in the direction to the canteen, Minjoo noticed that Chaewon’s hand was intertwined with Yujin’s. She smiled wistfully. She had always wanted a friendship like that.
-
Minjoo quickly became part of the group of friends, no longer having a shortage of people to talk to or hands to hold. Everyone became comfortable in her presence. Chaewon had also started to speak in front of Minjoo, though the words were never directed to her. Minjoo found her behaviour odd. The girl never displayed any dislike towards Minjoo, but she had never said more than five words at a time to her. Chaewon, unlike the other three, had never held Minjoo’s hand before and the younger was too shy to try.
“Yujin.” Minjoo tapped Yujin’s shoulder. The other three were walking slightly ahead, and Chaewon was chatting with the two. She wasn’t just talking, there was a smile on her face and she spoke animatedly. One of her arms was linked through Yuri’s.
“Yeah?” The tall girl answered.
“I was just wondering if Chaewon doesn’t like me. She talks to everyone but me.”
Yujin laughed openly. “No, she was the one who suggested that you join our group for the project. She’s just really introverted, that’s all. It took three weeks for her to smile at me. Nearly three months before she got comfortable enough to hold my hand. She’ll open up. You should start a conversation with her or something, she’s a fun person. I’m sure you’ll like her.”
The realisation of Chaewon being the one who wanted her to join the project group stunned Minjoo.
Over the course of the next week, Minjoo tried to start a conversation with Chaewon no less than seven times. She found out that yes, Chaewon was funny, but the girl was also every bit as introverted as Yujin described her to be. She still hadn’t become comfortable enough to talk to Minjoo first.
“Things like this take time.” Yujin had reassured her, patting her shoulder, before jogging to catch up with the rest, who were walking a few metres in front.
It took two whole minutes before Minjoo realised that there was a presence next to her.
Chaewon had slowed down to walk beside her. The smaller girl had her hands in her pockets and she was staring at the ground, but her lips curved up at the corners slightly.
Minjoo wondered how she had disliked the girl at first.
-
“Guys, guys, did you hear? There’s no school this Friday because they’re renovating or something!” Yujin bounded in the classroom by the back door, a giant ball of energy.
“That’s great.” Chaewon commented mildly, not looking up from her math assignment. She was seated on the floor next to Minjoo’s chair, her back leaning on one of Minjoo’s legs as she sat hunched over and scribbling indecipherable equations on the paper.
“Do y’all wanna go out since there’s no school? It’ll be really fun!” Yujin clapped excitedly.
Yena and Yuri nodded. Chaewon hummed.
Yujin looked at Minjoo expectantly. The latter hadn’t realised that she was invited too.
“Oh…sure.”
“Perfect! I’ll figure something out and text you the details.”
That was how Minjoo found herself clinging desperately to a railing, willing her knees not to wobble as she inched forward cautiously.
Yujin was sitting on a bench snacking on a chocolate bar. Yena and Yuri were bickering on the floor of the ice rink. Yena had probably pushed Yuri and caused her to fall again. Chaewon was at the opposite end of the circular rink. Before this, Minjoo never knew Chaewon could ice skate. The girl glided around effortlessly, hands in her pockets and a look of quiet confidence on her face.
Minjoo was bent over awkwardly. The railing was at her waist height, but it was the only support she had and the only thing preventing her from slipping and falling (again) on the ice.
“You could have asked if you needed help.” The voice sounded so close to her ear that Minjoo actually physically jumped. Her foot skidded on the ice and Chaewon’s hands flew to her waist to steady her, all while the older girl laughed at her in innocent amusement.
Minjoo huffed. “I still haven’t forgiven you for choosing to bring us ice skating. You knew everyone can skate but me.” Minjoo harrumphed and turned away childishly.
Chaewon laughed again, her soft endearing giggle. “Forgive me, princess?” She intertwined their hands and slipped both in the pocket of her jacket.
Five months of Chaewon calling her that pet name and Minjoo’s heart always stuttered without fail every time. The feeling of Chaewon’s hand in hers, every line on their palms aligning perfectly, never grew old.
Minjoo had already accepted the fact that she had a hopeless crush on one of her best friends. How could she not, when all it took was one look from the raven-haired girl to make her heart race? How could she look upon the older with nothing more than friendly affection when the girl always knew what to say to make Minjoo’s legs weaken? She had fallen for the girl who always slowed down her steps to match her own pace, the girl who treated her to her favourite peppermint latte when she sensed that the younger was having a bad day. She had fallen for the quiet girl who asked her out on cafe dates every other weekend, who leaned her head on her shoulder on the bus rides home.
At first, the realisation of it hit her like a truck, which was quickly followed by denial, and for two whole weeks she did her best to avoid Chaewon. But in the end, she still went back to the older girl, who accepted her apologies without question.
Loving Chaewon was like looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses. Loving Chaewon was learning to love herself again, to eat three meals a day and to make the constant effort to spend time with friends and family. Her affection for the older, but smaller girl made her a better person, and Minjoo held onto that affection like a lifeline.
As the older girl guided her around the rink, it took all her self-control not to look at her for too long. Chaewon looked too pretty, with her bangs falling perfectly and soft hair framing her face in waves.
“You’re staring, Joo.” Chaewon stated, raising her free hand and brushing Minjoo’s hair out of her eyes.
“You look pretty today.” Minjoo murmured, gazing at Chaewon back with the same intensity. It was one of the things Minjoo loved about Chaewon, the way she looked at people like they were the only person in the room. Chaewon’s stare always made her feel loved.
“You look pretty too, princess.”
Minjoo felt her knees buckle slightly under the weight of the older’s clouded gaze.
It was only when Yena promptly crashed into both of them did the eye contact break. Minjoo watched the brunette scold the pouting girl, mildly amused.
-
“Bye!” The tall girl yelled before disappearing onto her bus.
The ice skating rink was only a fifteen minute walk from Minjoo’s house, which meant it was fairly near to Chaewon’s house too, since they lived only four blocks apart.
Chaewon’s airpods were connected to her phone and playing one of her playlists. Minjoo had one side of the airpods in her ear while Chaewon had the other. Their intertwined hands were in Chaewon’s jacket pocket.
Minjoo allowed her thoughts to run free. Dimly, she wondered if Chaewon liked her back, or even, liked her more than she liked her other friends. She certainly treated Minjoo differently.
Whereas the raven-haired girl was rough with her words when she talked to the others, that endearingly familiar note of sarcasm often present in her voice, when she talked to Minjoo, there was a gentle tenderness to it. And Minjoo was very aware that she was the only one that Chaewon called ‘princess’. For Yujin, it was always ‘Jin’, Yena always ‘Yen’, Yuri always ‘Joyul’ or ‘Yul’. But Minjoo was always either ‘Joo’ or ‘princess’ or ‘baby’. It was always the pet names that were more fit for lovers than best friends. Minjoo wondered if she was reading too much into it, that maybe Chaewon just called her those pet names because Minjoo herself had started it. She remembered that day, she had been so out of it after pulling an all-nighter that she had spoken her thoughts out loud and accidentally called Chaewon ‘darling’.
Even thinking of the incident made a deep blush rise to her cheeks. Chaewon must have sensed Minjoo’s change in emotion, because she turned to look at the younger girl.
“You’re blushing.”
“I am.” Minjoo panicked internally, but forced out the most nonchalant respone she could muster.
Chaewon didn’t press into it further. Instead, she tilted her head to the sky.
“It’s snowing.” Minjoo commented mildly, spotting a tiny snowflake landing on Chaewon’s cat-eared beanie.
“No, it’s not.” Chaewon retorted. At that very moment, a fairly large snowflake landed on Chaewon’s nose. The raven-haired ignored it. Minjoo resisted the urge to kiss it away.
She didn’t realise she was staring until the older said it out loud.
“You’re staring.”
“I’m not.” Minjoo breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from the pools of hazelnut. Chaewon’s eyes had always been the prettiest, the most unique eye colour she had ever seen, a beautiful shade of light brown.
At some point, they had stopped walking.
“You are.”
Minjoo registered the song playing softly in her ear.
‘Didn’t realise it at first, but at some point I started to like you, silly’
The streetlamp overhead flickered on — darkness was approaching, fast.
Chaewon’s pretty features were thrown into sharp relief. The curve of her nose, the scars on her upper lip, the shadow of her every eyelash. Minjoo drank it all in, greedily.
‘How could you be so unaware, when will you stop being so obtuse’
Chaewon’s lips were curved into an infuriating smirk. Her eyes almost sparkled from the lamp’s light.
Beautiful. Chaewon was beautiful.
‘Treating me only as a friend, that is not what i want’
A sliver of Chaewon’s tongue came up to wet her lips.
Minjoo threw all caution to the wind.
She pulled Chaewon in by the lapels of her brown jacket and kissed her.
-
Minjoo’s eyes widened.
She pulled away and muttered a hasty apology, the first tears already falling from her eyes and freezing on their way down her cheeks.
“I didn’t mean it.” More hot tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. She tasted the salty liquid on her tongue. The tears didn’t stop.
“Shut up.” Chaewon whispered. Minjoo knew the girl was going to storm away, she was even expecting a slap to the cheek first. She knew her friendship with the girl she loved was over.
Neither of the things she was expecting came.
A warm hand settled on the back of her neck and pulled her forward.
Her vision was blurry with tears, but she knew the warm, soft thing pressed against her lips were Chaewon’s.
Chaewon was kissing her.
Relief hit Minjoo like a delivery truck. She didn’t know what was happening, but through the multitude of emotions she was experiencing relief was the strongest. Chaewon kissing her surely meant maybe the friendship could be salvaged. But was it really friendship if her best friend had her lips pressed against her own?
Chaewon’s hand was carding through her hair, fingernails occasionally scratching against Minjoo’s scalp. Every time they did, the younger girl shivered slightly.
The kiss didn’t last more than ten seconds, but to Minjoo it felt like an eternity.
When they broke apart for air, Minjoo’s knees buckled and she fell, embarrassingly, into Chaewon’s arms.
Chaewon laughed, so Minjoo decided it was appropriate to laugh too.
Chaewon’s hands continued resting on Minjoo’s waist even after she regained her balance and stood upright again. Minjoo swallowed the hitch in her breath elicited by the feeling of the girl’s warm hands on a place that friends should not touch.
“I like you.”
Minjoo really didn’t know what possessed her to make her say something so dangerous when she’d just pulled the stunt of kissing her friend.
Chaewon laughed, eyes twinkling. “I was waiting for that.”
Her eyes turned serious again, though something that looked like affection still shone in the depths of hazelnut.
“I’ve liked you for three years, princess.”
Minjoo’s lips parted in wonder.
Chaewon kissed her again, a gentle peck on the lips that robbed Minjoo of the air in her lungs.
Chaewon’s phone rang. She frowned, but answered it anyway. Minjoo took the time to trace over the girl’s features again. She wondered that if she liked her, whether she looked as beautiful to Chaewon as Chaewon did to her.
“Mom wants me back home. I’ve gotta run, she’s getting annoyed.” The raven-haired announced, almost sheepishly.
“Oh.” Minjoo uttered.
“Sorry, princess, can’t walk you home today. Be careful, alright? Call me when you get home safe. I’ll see you in class on Monday?”
“Ah. See you.” Minjoo whispered.
Chaewon kissed her shortly, pulling away quickly before turning and waving over her shoulder.
“Wait!” MInjoo yelled after the retreating back.
“Yeah?”
“What about us?”
“Us? We’re girlfriends, aren’t we?”
Chaewon disappeared around the corner, but Minjoo thought she saw a playful grin on the girl’s face.
Her lips tingling, she to walked toward her house, cheeks aching from the big grin on her face.