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“When you were little, did you ever think you’d be here?”
Ussop’s voice ran through the quiet deck of the Sunny, the rest of the crew sprawled around him drinking sake or whatever cocktail Sanji’s decided to make for the girls. All heads turned to him at the question.
“What do you mean?” asked Nami, raising an eyebrow while taking another sip of her drink.
“I mean, when you were a kid, did you think that you have this, that you were going to be sailing the New World with friends on the crew of the future Pirate King?” at Ussop’s words, Luffy’s smiled from where he was seated next to Zoro and went to answer.
“Well, ever since I met Shanks, I decided that I was gonna be the Pirate King, and I knew I needed to find good nakama for me to reach my goal” his words, brought smiles to everyone present.
“Oh dear, you do know how to make a man blush, captain, although I can’t blush, because I don’t have skin yohohoho” said Brook, and be the atmosphere or the fact that some were a little tipsy, a small laugh broke through some of the crew members.
“Well, I, for a fact did not think I would be a pirate, I mean with my past?” chuckled Nami “I hated pirates because of Arlong and what they did to my village and I was desperate to get the money I needed to buy my village’s freedom” her words made them flinch a little, and she did not miss the way Jimbe wouldn’t look at her “Don’t worry Jimbe, like I told you I forgave you for that” she took his hand on hers and he smiled a little at her words, squeezing back.
“I still feel that I do not deserve your forgiveness Nami, but I’m thankful for it anyway” said Jimbre with a soft look in his eyes, the rest smiling along at the gesture.
Everybody else followed through with their answers, some saying they did not see themselves where they are now and some saying that although they did not think that they would become pirates, they knew that they wouldn’t be staying in their home villages all their lives, at the end of it everyone was a little more tipsy than the beginning, but one person hadn’t answered the question yet.
“And you Sanji?” asked Chopper to the blond chef, who was a little more drunk than the rest of them, given that he didn’t usually indulge in drinking so his tolerance was lower than his crewmates, the blond lifted his head from where it was resting on Zoro’s shoulder, looking at his nakama with a confused frown.
“I’m sorry, what was the question again?” his words were a little slurred, which made some of the members laugh a little.
“shishishi Sanji’s drunk” came Luffy’s gleeful voice from his right.
“I’m not” tried Sanji to defend himself, but nobody bought the lie, Zoro smirked and put his arm around his boyfriend.
“Yes, you are, shitty cook, I told you not to drink too much” that earned him a glare from the blonde, which only made his smirk grow “And to answer you, Usopp asked if you ever thought you’d be here when you were little, and you’re the only one who hasn’t answered” Sanji frowned a little.
Normally, this would be the part where he lied and said some bullshit answer that would leave his crew satisfied, but given that he was a little tipsy, his brain to mouth filter didn’t seem to be working tonight, the words were out of his mouth before he could even think.
“When I was seven, I wanted to die” he answered honestly, so lost in thought, that he didn’t notice how his nakama froze and the smiles were wiped off their faces, turning to look at him with horror written all over them, Zoro instinctively tightened his arms around him, holding him close.
The uncomfortable silence went on for a few minutes, the blonde not saying anything else; finally, Chopper was the first to find his voice.
“W-what do you mean Sanji? W-why would you think that?” the little reinder voice was shaky, and tears were already gathering in his eyes, it seemed, that he was not the only one, Sanji, once again answered honestly, with a flat voice.
“I mean, you’ve seen where I come from right?” some of the members grimaced a little “Germa 66 wasn’t a place for the weak and soft hearted, and that’s exactly what I was” even after the mess that was Whole Cake Island, Sanji has never opened about his time there, and then with Wano and all the crap that they went through there, there just wasn’t time to hear the whole story, only what the Sanji’s retrieval team could tell them and even though, they knew that it was not the complete picture, but now, even with all that behind them, nobody dared to breach that topic and when someone did try, Sanji would just blow them off with excuses to avoid talking about his life there and they never pressed, because well, a man’s past is his own right? Now they’re beginning to think that it was a mistake to let it go.
“You’re not weak, cook” Zoro said with a growl in his voice, lifting Sanji to deposit him in his lap, normally he wouldn’t be much for PDA, but tonight he needed to feel his boyfriend in his arms, safe and alive, everybody else crawled closer to him, completely sober now, in tune with the dark atmosphere that could be felt in that moment.
“I know that now, marimo” said Sanji with a little smile, making himself comfortable in his lap “But, you didn’t know me back then, Judge called me Germa’s failure for a reason, you know” the members that didn’t go to Big Mom’s territory flinched and stared at those who went in confusion, they didn’t know about that.
“You’re not a failure Sanji” Luffy said, using his captain tone, the one he used when someone was threatening someone he loves, Sanji directed his gaze at him, his smile turning a little wobbly and his eyes watering a little.
“Oh, but I was captain, at least for his standards” Nami, finally found her voice, and when she talked everybody could hear the sorrow in her voice.
“H-how do you mean, Sanji-kun?” the blonde took a deep breath, feeling himself sober up a little, and then he started talking.
“Judge was obsessed with re-taking control of the North Blue, so when my mom was pregnant, he forced her to go through a procedure, so me and the other bastards would be born with upgrades, like an exoskeleton, augmented powers and most importantly, without emotions” the dark chuckle he let out made some of the others flinch “but my mom, she didn’t want that, she wanted her kids to be human, so she made a choice, she took a drug that could counteract what they did to her on the hopes that his children would be born with their emotions” Franky already had to supress a sob at those words “alas, it didn’t work, not on all the children, just one” there were solemn gazes all around.
“You” was muttered by Robin, to which he nodded.
“Yep” he said lightly “Vinsmoke Sanji, the third son of the Vinsmoke family, who was supposed to be born with black hair to go with the raid suit and with a heart of ice, the evil army, number three, Stealth Black” he lifted his head to look at his nakama “Instead, Judge got stuck with this Sanji, blonde, weak, who preferred to feed the rats and play with birds, than train since he was one fucking year old” some tears did come out of his eyes at than “and my mom, got bedridden because of me, fading one day at a time” some tried to talk at those words, but Sanji didn’t let them, to focused on telling his story “Obviously Judge couldn’t have that” he let out a watery chuckle “So it was day after day of tests, just for the scientist to tell him that his son was a failure” everybody felt anger within them, Zoro personally wished to go and find that bastard and cut him up a little.
“You’re better off without them, cook” said Zoro, lifting his hand to wipe some tears that were sliding off the blonde’s cheek, he smiled a little at the gesture.
“I know, but I’m not done yet” he said before continuing “Naturally, since I was a failure, and my brothers were oh so perfect, he encouraged then to beat me up, my sister would sometimes treat my wounds, but there was so much she could do before they turned on her too, so a lot of the times she stood with them and laughed at me too”.
“Reiju-san did that?” asked Brook atonished “I thought she was a nice lady” Nami nodded at those words before Sanji spoke again.
“It’s complicated, anyway, at Germa, my mom was the only person that was nice to me, and I used to cook for her, well, if what I did back then could be considered cooking, I was awful” said the blonde with a nostalgic look “But she always ate it with a smile and asked me to keep cooking for her, those were the only moments where I was happy”.
“W-what a great mother!” exclaimed Franky with a pool of tears around him.
“She really was, she was the best” some new tears found their way to Sanji’s blue eyes “but she died when I was seven, and Judge blamed me for her death, keep in mind that I didn’t know that my mother took the drug at the time, I found out about that when Reiju told me in Big Mom’s castle”
“She knew!?” exclaimed Usopp atonished.
“Yes, but it’s not that simple… so moving on for now, my brothers became more ruthless and cruel then, I honestly don’t remember days where my body didn’t hurt, then Judge apparently had enough of me, so he told the country I was dead” everybody gasped at that “He locked me up in the dungeons and put this iron mask on my face, so i wouldn’t be recognized, his biggest shame” Sanji trembled a little in Zoro’s arm, which made the swordsman tighten his embrace “That mask didn’t come off for anything, and it didn’t matter how much I begged for somebody to let me out, nobody ever did” he lowered his gaze, Chopper couldn’t take it anymore and jumped on Sanji’s lap to hug him, which made the blonde smile and put a hand on his head “eventually, my brothers found out that I was alive and once again I became their punching bag, it was day after day of suffering, and I just wanted everything to stop, I figured that if I was dead I wouldn’t hurt anymore and that was the only option I saw plausible at the moment” all the strawhats swore that if they saw those monsters again they would make them regret to ever put a hand on Sanji.
“How did you get out of there?” this time it was Robin who asked the question, her pretty eyes shedding some tears.
“Well, one time the ships went to the East Blue, and my sister was patching me up, I told her that if I could run away, I wouldn’t have to see Judge’s face anymore” Chopper tightened his hold on Sanji “she took pity on me, and broke the bars, and told me I had one chance, so I took off, but as always, nothing good happens to me, and I ran into Judge”.
“What did he do to you?” this time, it was Luffy who was talking, his hat covering his eyes.
“He told me, that he wouldn’t kill me and that I could go, but that I was to never mention my last name because I was his biggest shame, and he didn’t want anybody to know” his voice broke completely and the tears started to fall more quickly from his eyes, by now Nami and Robin have moved closer to he blonde, putting their hands on his shoulders, and if it was any other time, he would have been elated, but not now “He gave me the key to the mask and then Reiju took me outside and we could see this ship, I think that was the first time I saw her cry, and she told me that the sea was vast and that I would definitely meet kind people one day and well, she wasn’t wrong” he smiled at his crew around him, noting that everybody had tears in their eyes.
“We are the lucky ones to have met you, son” said Jimbe with a soft smile.
“Then, as I told you, nothing good usually happens to me, not even a year since I escaped, the cruise ship where I was staying, got attacked by the pirates led by Zeff, but as if that wasn’t enough, I fell overboard and I thought, this is it” the girls gave him a squeeze on his shoulders “then I woke up on this rock in the middle of nowhere, with little to no food, It didn’t last for many days and I was there for 85 days” Chopper gasped and the tears in his eyes fell in cascades now.
“You were starving for that long?” he said in a shaky voice, Sanji nodded
“And Zeff, that old geezer, he gave me all the food” his voice trembled even more now “and he cut his own leg and ate it” he closed his eyes at the memory, it never failed to make him feel guilty, he felt a kiss pressed to his temple and took a deep breath “when I asked him why he did that, he told me because our dreams were the same, to find the All Blue, and that I should in the future go out to the grand line to search for it”.
“What a great man Zeff-san is” mentioned Brook.
“He is, when we were rescued, he didn’t have to take me in, but he did, we opened the Baratie and he taught me everything I know” Luffy finally lifted his gaze to look at him.
“That’s why you didn’t want to leave the restaurant, right?” Sanji nodded.
“I felt indebted to him, I couldn’t justify to myself leaving” he looked at Luffy “Well, until one rubber idiot broke through the walls and decided to refuse my refusal to join, twice” the captain grinned.
“And I’m glad you’re here, Sanji”
“Thank you, captain” the blonde said honestly “but really, I thought I left Germa behind me, for good, but then…”
“They wanted to marry you off to Pudding” concluded Nami for him, Zoro growled at her words, which made her roll her eyes “Calm down tiger, he’s yours”
“I know” said Zoro taking a hold of Sanji’s chin, to make him look at him “And I’m never letting you go again” the blonde smiled at those words, giving him a little kiss.
“You’re romantic when you want to be, marimo” Sanji said affectionally “I don’t want to ever leave again either”
“You’ll never have to, we won’t let anyone try to take you Sanji, you’re ours” Luffy said, before putting his hat on Sanji’s head, this only made the blonde start crying all over again, looking at his nakama who were giving him warm smiles.
“Thank you, to all of you” he said sincerely “You know, when I was in Whole Cake, my sister told me the truth about the sacrifice of my mother, she said that there was no way I was a failure, when I was what my mom always wanted, a son who was human… She also told me that I was kinder than anyone else, but I think that’s giving me too much credit, all the kindness that I received in my life, I don’t think I could ever pay off”
“You’re wrong Sanji” Luffy was staring at him with a big smile “There’s no one more kind than you” Sanji opened his mouth to protest but his nakama beat him to it.
“You don’t let anyone starve, ever” said Luffy with a smile.
“You cook all our favorite meals” Usopp.
“You’re always put others above yourself” Robin.
“You’re always willing to help, even when you try to pretend you don’t” Nami said, and Sanji felt his lower lip star to tremble as the tears in his eyes grew.
“You protect this crew, all the time” Chopper.
“You helped the G5 back in Punk Hazard, I actually think they fell in love with you Sanji-san, yohohoho” Brook.
“You’re super, bro, you could never be selfish” Franky.
“I haven’t spent too much time here yet, but I see how you made this place into a home” Jimbei.
“You’re kind and you’re strong, because you’ve been battling these demons all on your own, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore Sanji, you’re worth everything, we’re here for you, we are your family, we love you and we’re never letting you forget that” said Zoro with a soft smile, looking directly into those blue eyes he adored so much while caressing his cheek.
That was the last straw for Sanji, overwhelmed with emotions and the love he felt for his nakama, he broke down, throwing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and holding on tightly, Zoro moved his arms to the blonde’s waist and held on, grounding him, Chopper followed through and buried his face in Sanji’s stomach, his little hooves clenching his shirt.
“Group hug!” exclaimed Luffy excitedly before trowing his arms around Sanji too, the rest of the crew joined, with Nami and Robin coming on the blonde’s sides, and Brook, Franky, Usopp and Jimbei, coming around everybody, making sure to touch Sanji’s hair softly, this actions only made the blonde cry harder, his crew holding on even more tightly.
“Thank you” his voice was muffled from where he was hiding his face on Zoro’s neck, but everyone heard it clearly “I’m glad that I’m still here and I wish I could have said to that lonely seven year old that it would get better, that he would find a real father and that he would find people to love and who would love him back”
“We love you, Sanji” his nakama exclaimed and he let out a laugh, his sister was right, he did meet kind people, and he never want to lose them.