Chapter Text
My tea’s gone cold
I’m wonderin’ why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could, it’d all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad
It’s not so bad
I drank too much last night
Got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus
And there’ll be hell today
I’m late for work again
And even if I’m there, they’ll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it’s not so bad
It’s not so bad
And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
And oh
Just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life..
-“Thank You” by Dido
There were a lot of things about corporate culture that completely sucked, but one of the worst things was goddamn corporate retreats.
The intention was always “team building” and other social activities, but in reality, it was just forced merriment, awkward interactions, and wasted time and money, at least as far as I was concerned. It’d be different had I been an employee who could finagle it to be conveniently off that weekend, but I was an assistant manager, so I had no damn choice. Plus, I’d only had this job for almost two years and it would look bad if I called in sick or scheduled vacation time on that date.
And even if all of that wasn’t bad enough, there was that other unpleasant thing I tried not to think about too often. Involving a handsy district manager who liked to follow me around.
And so I only had one chance at surviving it again this year.
The door swung shut behind me as I kicked it and then locked it without looking. I probably should have had better manners, but fuck it, I’d been here so often he’d given me a key anyway. I left my shoes on the mat beside the door and took off my coat, then shuffled down the hallway over the nice hardwood floors towards the living room where I could hear orchestral music. Once I made it there, I flopped onto the white leather couch unceremoniously, my head landing in the lap of my best friend.
“I take it you had a wonderful day,” Alucard Tepes said in his driest voice, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. His golden eyes didn’t stray from the pages of the book in his hand; he was rereading a poetry collection that he loved. He’d gotten off before me today, so he was in his casual wear, though that didn’t mean much since he always dressed to kill—a nice white long-sleeved shirt, expensive but comfortable black jeans, no socks. There was a mug of black tea steaming on the lamp table beside him.
“The best day,” I told him in the same dry voice. I stuck out my bottom lip childishly. “Where’s my smooches, vampire?”
Alucard chuckled and bent enough to kiss my forehead. “My mistake. Hard day?”
I groaned. “The worst. I’m in trouble. The corporate retreat is next weekend.”
Alucard winced. “Oh, dear. That time of year again already?”
“Yeah. And you know how the last one went.”
“If I recall, your exact words were ‘an unmitigated disaster.’”
“Exactly.”
“My poor darling,” he cooed, gently running his long fingers over my forehead, smoothing my hair back. “Is there anything you can do?”
I bit my bottom lip. “Um, actually, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
I swallowed hard, trying not to let my voice crack, fidgeting with the edge of my polo shirt. “It would be significantly easier to put up with if I had a friend with me. And they do allow you to bring a guest, since it’s not like one of those retreats with training exercises. It’s literally just a weekend of dumb activities, so people bring their spouses and their kids.”
Alucard’s expression went flat. “I have a bad feeling about where this is going.”
“Please?” I begged. “Please, would you come with me? I swear, I’ll do anything you want, any favor, you name it—”
He sighed. “Come now, pet, why must both of us suffer?”
“Oh, easy for you to say. You have your own practice. You’re your own boss. You’re not forced into these ridiculous work mixers against your will. Can’t you sympathize with me even a little?”
He snorted. “I do that all the bloody time, thank you very much. I don’t see how my presence is going to make this weekend any less taxing, my dear.”
“Of course it would.” I sat up in his lap, stealing the book for a second. “You’re funny and charming and well-read and you’re super handsome. No one would pay any attention to me with you on my arm. It’d be a snap.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere with me,” he reminded me, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m not flattering you. It’s true. You’re perfect, Ally. Everyone knows it.”
He rolled his eyes and sipped his tea, trying to steal the book back, but I held it out of reach. “I am no such thing, you silly girl. The answer is no.”
I whined and buried my face in his neck, wrapping my arms around him. “Please, Alucard, don’t make me go to this crap alone again. I hate it.”
“Then call in sick.”
“I can’t. Seriously, Alucard, I need you.”
He paused. “You are pushing this rather strongly. What aren’t you telling me?”
I hesitated. Alucard gripped my chin and made me look at him, those amber eyes scrutinizing. “Out with it. What’s really wrong with the corporate retreat?”
“Ally—”
He hardened his gaze. “Spill it, now.”
I heaved a sigh and collapsed against the arm of the couch, sullen and tired and anxious. “It’s just…there was this creep district manager there last year. He didn’t do anything overt, but he cornered me at most of the events and tried to chat me up. It was…really uncomfortable and I couldn’t say anything since he’s an important person in the company and he didn’t do anything wrong, per se. He just…I don’t know. I don’t want to be alone again and have to keep up that façade. It was exhausting. I’d feel better if you were there. He made me feel unsafe.”
I risked a glance at him. “And I know I’d be safe if you were around.”
Alucard stared at me from under his lashes, his voice deadly quiet. “Did he touch you?”
I swallowed hard. Alucard leaned in close, his voice a low growl. “Did. He. Touch. You?”
I licked my lips, my voice very small, shrinking in on myself out of sheer habit. “A little. It wasn’t like he groped me or anything. He just…there were some…brushes against me that I didn’t like.”
Alucard’s expression darkened, his lip curling as he snarled. “What is his name? I’ll bloody rip him in half and then sue his corpse.”
I frowned. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t want you to get upset.”
“Of course I’m fucking upset. He had no right to intimidate, manipulate, or otherwise force his company upon you against your will. There are laws to protect you against this kind of reprehensible behavior.”
I sighed again. “I know, but like I said, it wasn’t anything overt. He didn’t do anything illegal; he was just a jerk and a creep around me the whole time. I’m worried about retaliation if I brought it to my supervisor. Misconduct allegations are supposed to be submitted anonymously, but there’s no guarantee he wouldn’t know it was me. I know I can quit and find another job, but this one has better pay than most and I need to keep it for now."
I took a deep breath. “And I’m not trying to manipulate you, I swear, I just…you always ask for me to be honest with you and I shouldn’t have lied the first time. I had hoped maybe he wouldn’t be attending this year, but they sent the confirmation list and he’s on it again. I know I could survive it again had he not been going, but since he is—”
“What’s the dress code?”
I blinked at him. “Hmm?”
“I am going with you, without question, and I am going to set this man straight when we get there.”
I winced. “Not sure that’s a great idea.”
“I will do nothing brutish, but I will make it rather clear he is not to engage in such behaviors again or he will answer to me. This kind of behavior must be remedied immediately so he doesn’t repeat it with anyone else.”
He noted the guilty look on my face and exhaled, his expression calming. “Darling, do not feel bad for telling me. I want to know such things. You are my dearest friend. I would do anything for you, even something this inconvenient.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, Ally. My worries are completely gone knowing I’ve massively inconvenienced you.”
“Bloody deal with it.”
I shook my head, but still slipped my arms around him and hugged him tenderly. “Thank you.”
He rubbed my back. “You are welcome, darling. I am sorry this man made you uncomfortable and I am glad you told me.”
He rested his forehead on mine, smiling. “We’ll get through it together. I promise.”
His eyes narrowed. “But should he become irritating, I will rip out his throat and shove it up his arse.”
I giggled. “Stop that. You will do no such thing, Alucard.”
“No promises. Now give me back my book, silly girl.”
Fortunately, the retreat was within driving distance and they put everyone up in a resort hotel, so I used the two-hour drive to refresh Alucard’s memory on the proverbial gang. The structure of the weekend meant you had to sign up for three activities per day—otherwise you could cheat by being antisocial, and holing up in your hotel room avoiding everyone—and they had little annoying sign in sheets to be sure you weren’t going AWOL. I picked the least annoying things I could find and knew to brace for awkwardness even with Alucard faithfully at my side. But at least he wouldn’t be ostracized—there were several dhampirs both who worked for the company and who were spouses, so he’d fit right in with them. We also had vampires on staff who liked to work the overnight shifts since it was nighttime only and it paid twice as much as the regular shifts. We didn’t have many, but they were younger vampires, under a hundred or so years instead of centuries old like Alucard or some of the elder vampires.
Alucard was my total opposite. He was handsome, cunning, eloquent, good with kids, and a snappy dresser. There was a joke about how extroverts basically adopted introverts and dragged them around lovingly, like Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan, and that was me and Alucard. I was the grumpy cloud and he was the sunshine. He of course liked his quiet time and he never really sought out social events, but had no problem attending them if invited him to something he enjoyed. After all, being hundreds of years old got boring if you stayed in your castle alone with no friends.
He owned his own private practice and worked as a heart surgeon, so his hours were crazy, but it worked for him nicely since he slept so little in the first place. We spent time together in between shifts, grabbing drinks at the bar or staying in to watch streaming channels. I was the little stray he picked up one night after a drunk guy had been bothering me and Alucard stepped in to shoo him away. It didn’t take long before we were inseparable, to the point where if I went somewhere alone, people asked me where Alucard had gone. I didn’t mind it one bit. He was the best friend I’d ever had, and probably ever would. He had a good heart and a good soul and a wicked sense of humor to top it all off. Needless to say, I loved him dearly, and even more for making the sacrifice to put up with a corporate retreat on my behalf.
We checked in at the resort hotel and took the elevator up to our floor. Thankfully, with it only being three days, I could pack light. Alucard had already turned a lot of heads in his nice linen shirt and khakis, his beautiful wavy blond hair flowing around him like a cloud. I loved his hair. He let me braid it and play with it all the time, bless him.
Alucard popped the door to the hotel room open with his key card and I followed him, but then he stopped short. “What?” I asked.
“What was our reservation again, darling?” he asked in a faintly irritated tone.
“Two Queens, if I remember correctly, why?” I stepped around him and then stared.
One King bed. Not two Queens.
Sigh.
“Goddamn it,” I growled, stomping over to the phone. I tossed my duffel bag down and dialed the front desk, tapping my fingers on the nightstand.
“Hello?”
“Hi, yes, this is the guests in Room 212,” I said, trying to sound friendly and not pissed off. “We were supposed to get a room with two Queen beds. This one is one King.”
“Oh, dear. Hang on one second, I’ll be right back.” She put me on hold. I waited. “Yes ma’am, you were right—the original reservation is for two Queens, but unfortunately, there was a clerical error and it went in as a single King.”
“Right. Can you find us another room?”
“Well, the problem is that the resort is completely booked due to the corporate function.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What if I asked one of my coworkers to switch rooms with me?”
“That would work, I think? We can’t do it per your request only, but if both guests agree to switch, I think we can override it in the system. I’ll have to check with my manager and follow up with you.”
“Okay, thanks, I’ll try and get that info to you soon.” I hung up and grabbed my cell phone, texting a couple of my unmarried coworkers. Then I sighed and tucked the phone in my pocket, turning to Alucard. “Sorry, Ally. Hopefully, we get someone to swap with us.”
“It’s alright, darling, not your fault.” He set his bag down, then gave me a wry look. “Actually, I take it back. Technically, it is your fault for refusing my generous offer not to have a job at all. I’ve told you before I’d let you be my little sugar baby.”
I punched him in the arm lightly while he laughed. “Shut it, you. I’m a grown woman. I refuse to sit on your lap and feed you grapes so you’ll pay all my bills.”
He slipped his arms around me, grinning enough to show a peek of fang. “But you’d be a lady of leisure. You could sleep in all you wanted, walk around my house in nothing but a t-shirt, take long baths in the garden tub, and order mountains of takeout instead of cooking. I assure you I’d ask for nothing in return.”
I scoffed. “Bullshit, you wouldn’t. I know you better than that. You’d have me out in the front yard washing your Jaguar in a bikini.”
“Hmm…well, you’re not wrong.” I smacked him again and he chuckled. He gave me an affectionate squeeze, kissed my forehead, and then let me go. “Where do we have to report to first?”
I brought up the schedule in my phone. “Oh, some stupid luncheon thing that’s a meet-and-greet. They make us announce which store we’re from and then that’s it, we can eat and escape until the first afternoon activity.”
“Which is?”
“It’s a nature walk up around the lower part of the mountain. It’s about an hour, but it starts at dusk, so at least we’re not gonna be too hot.” I then paused and batted my eyelashes at him. “Not that you’re not always hot, darling Ally.”
He rolled his eyes. “Nicely done. Shall we dress for the hike or will we have time to return to the room?”
“We should have time to change, yeah.”
Alucard held out his arm. “Shall we, then?”
“Of course, my love,” I said as dramatically as possible, taking it. We left the hotel room and headed down to the rear of the hotel near the recreational area past the pools. There was a big colorful banner with the company name hanging on the stairs and we descended to the picnic area with tables and a buffet and a mobile bar set up. I took a deep breath to quell my mounting anxiety. Alucard squeezed my hand gently and winked, which relaxed me a bit, and we went over to the check in table to sign in.
After that, I scanned the table signs and then saw the one for my store, where my manager and one other coworker were hanging out waiting for the others to get settled. By now, they’d of course already met Alucard, so at least that much wouldn’t be awkward.
“Alucard,” my boss Colleen said, grinning widely. “How’d she rope you into this?”
“Oh, she has her methods of persuasion,” he said, winking at me.
“Probably lots of begging,” Todd, my coworker, said, and I swatted him in the arm.
“The others will be here in a bit,” Colleen promised. “They’re either parking or checking in. Should be a good weekend, though. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting.”
I tried my best not to make a face. “Mm-hmm.”
I poked the vampire at my side. “Want a drink?”
“Yes, please.”
I headed over to the refreshment table. I said hi politely to a few people and made a little small talk while I waited in line to reach the punch bowl. However, when I turned to go, the dreaded district manager was walking towards me from across the way at one of the other picnic tables.
Bradley Schumacher wasn’t altogether ugly, but that made no difference since his personality was hideous—tall, broad shouldered, always in a steel gray suit and black dress shirt, an expensive watch on his wrist. He had dark hair and a square jaw. He carried himself with that obnoxious kind of surety that he was amazing in every way and everyone around him should know it. The predatory look in his brown eyes made my stomach turn.
I pretended not to see him and pivoted on my heel, heading towards the group. Hopefully, the presence of others would deter him for now, but I didn’t feel too confident about it.
I handed Alucard the punch and listened to him chat with the others about some of his most recent surgeries before a shadow loomed over me. I sighed inwardly as Bradley inserted himself into the throng to my immediate right. “Hey, guys, good to see you. Still working here, I see.”
My coworkers greeted him and I just smiled. Alucard had stiffened once Bradley appeared, which meant he’d picked up on my intense discomfort enough to know this was the guy I’d told him about. The narcissist instantly noticed me and nudged my shoulder with his arm, grinning. “Hey, you. Cat got your tongue? How’ve you been?”
“Fine,” I said, managing to keep the smile in place. “Good to see you, Brad.”
He nodded to my companion. “He’s new. And you are?”
“This is Alucard Tepes,” I said. “He’s my—”
“Boyfriend,” Alucard said, sliding his arm around my waist.
I dropped my fucking punch on the ground.
Brad jerked back as some of it splashed in his direction. I immediately knelt and grabbed the empty cup, using it as an excuse so he wouldn’t see the utter shock on my face. “Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry.”
I tossed in the nearby garbage and grabbed Alucard by the arm. “Oops, look at me, punch got everywhere. Better go change. We’ll be right back.”
I dragged him bodily away from the group and once we were out of earshot, screeched, “What the hell, Alucard.”
“What?” he asked innocently.
“What were you thinking?” I hissed. “Now we’re gonna have to keep this charade up all weekend long! Not to mention I have to answer to my coworkers, who either think you’re full of shit or I’ve been lying to them.”
Alucard arched an eyebrow. “I told you I would address the problem. This way, the bastard will know to keep his distance and I can act as a deterrent. Had you introduced me as merely your friend, he wouldn’t feel threatened. Now he knows there will be consequences should he try anything with you.”
His eyes narrowed. “Dire consequences, in fact.”
I sighed and buried my face in my hand. “Of course that sounds logical to you.”
“I know it will be awkward, but if you didn’t want to tell your supervisor about his behavior for fear of retaliation, then this is the only other way to be sure he will leave you alone. Besides, it’s not that far outside of what we are to each other already. It’s not like anyone will demand that we kiss or something.”
“I get that, but it’s just…” I groaned. “I am a terrible liar. I’m not sure I can be convincing if anyone asks.”
Alucard chuckled. “It’s true. You can’t bloody lie to save your life. It’s quite adorable. However, it won’t be as bad as you think. Only the physical aspects will change.”
“How so?”
He made an exasperated noise as he slid the key card into the door and opened it for me. “You’ve been in relationships before, pet. Couples touch each other habitually.”
“I’m not big on PDA,” I said dryly as I went over to my bag and searched for a new outfit. I always packed an extra just in case of something like this situation.
“And you won’t need to be. Less is more. Just smaller things like holding my hand or leaning against my shoulder.”
I peeled off my shirt, nibbling my lower lip nervously. “So I don’t need to kiss you.”
Something sly entered his voice. “Not unless you want to.”
I glared at him over my shoulder. His golden eyes twinkled with mischief. Figures. “You are the worst sometimes, Alucard.”
“My apologies, dear.”
I hopped into a fresh pair of jeans and a casual, fitted version of a black button-up shirt. “What if I do have to go deep cover and kiss you? Is that going to bother you?”
I reached for the buttons, then jumped slightly as Alucard appeared in front of me and began buttoning them for me. “Considering the fact that you feel comfortable enough to change your clothes in front of me, what do you think?”
I rolled my eyes. “I try not to make assumptions in regards to your thoughts and feelings, Ally. That’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Fair enough.” He finished buttoning my shirt and I tucked it into the jeans. Then he tipped my chin up so I’d look into those uniquely beautiful eyes of his. “No, it would not bother me should you need to kiss me, my dear. Or the reverse. I will try to do so with enough warning not to make it…awkward.”
“Kissing your best friend is probably supposed to be awkward.”
“Depends on the friend, I suppose.”
“Should we practice?” I stiffened as I realized I’d blurted that last part out without thinking it through. Alucard’s head tilted in a mixture of curiosity and surprise. I buried my face in both hands and heaved a sigh. “Sorry. I’m nervous. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that I’ve never kissed a vampire before, so I was under the assumption it’d be different, kissing someone with fangs.”
He chuckled softly, but not mockingly. “It is sweet of you to be so considerate, but it’s only a challenge for French kissing, not a simple peck on the lips.”
“Right. I’ll try not to freeze up, should it happen, but no guarantees. I’m not exactly the most experienced woman in the world and as you can attest to, I’ve had some lousy boyfriends lately. There’s a good chance I’m rusty at it by now—” I quit talking as Alucard pried my hands away from my face, leaned down, and kissed me full on the mouth.
Gently.
Very, very gently, actually.
Wow.
He held the kiss for a few seconds, then drew away just enough to speak, our lips still touching. “No. You’ve still got it.”
Alucard grinned at the stunned look on my face and then offered his arm. “Now come along, darling. We have a busy weekend ahead of us."