Chapter Text
“So, Maximilian,” her father began, already looking down at her.
God, she hated that. Always being looked down upon, nothing like her elder sister Rosetta, and not the male child that her father had wanted either. Just stuttering Maximilian that brought shame to her father’s name. She had always wished she had been born into a nicer family, one where her father didn’t suck his wives dry of their life.
“Is Rosetta’s wedding where we finally get to meet your elusive boyfriend.”
She blanched at that, her mind going blank. She tried to hide the panic in her mind. When did her father ever get the idea that she had a boyfriend? She couldn’t remember ever having—
Oh, Christmas she had mentioned that she had one. Just to get him off of her back about being alone and the shame of the family. It wasn’t exactly a lie, she had been talking to a guy, but it had fallen through the moment that she had introduced him to her friends. She was given no explanation for it, and her mind still told her that he probably got annoyed with her persistent stutter that still wasn’t gone.
She had hidden that she wasn’t with him for the last few months, and now was probably as good as any moment to break the news that she didn’t have a boyfriend.
She was going to answer truthfully, her mouth opened as she was about to say that she had broken up with him, but then she noticed Rosetta’s hopeful expression that she had finally found a boyfriend that stayed longer than a week, that she had finally gotten over her hopeless pining for he who she could never have and swallowed the shame that rose. Her father would also give her a long lecture if she said that he had broken up with her. So, her panicked mind did what it knew best.
“Y-yes,” she hoped the smile on her face didn’t look too fake. “He s-should be a-able to m-make it.” Hopefully that would give her enough leeway. Her sister’s wedding was still a couple of months away, she could make up an excuse that something had happened by that time that should be believable.
Her father nodded as he went back to eating, turning the conversation back onto Rosetta and her partner while Maxi tried to fade into the background, having had his eyes on her for too long today already.
Her phone kept buzzing in her pocket, and she held back the urge to check it, knowing that her father would have a fit if she did so. Complaining that she was always on it, and not present in their family dinners. How she wished that she could skip these. Left by herself to move food around her plate while bored, sipping wine slowly as her father ignored her to instead focus on his favourite daughter.
It was nothing new to her, and honestly had gotten easier over the last few months that Rosetta had announced her engagement to Elias, attention was practically never given to her now. Her father didn’t even attempt to make small talk over her classes anymore. He had never been interested in her university degree, and even less so now. He had complained when she had wanted to go to university, even more so when it was for an English degree to become a librarian. He had said there was no use in it, but she enjoyed it, even if he refused to pay for the full tuition that he had given Rosetta.
She watched the clock on the wall as the hours passed by more, anxiety both rising at the thought of what she was keeping a secret from her father and sister, but also being tampered down at the relief of family dinner finishing soon. Then she wouldn’t have to come back for another month. She should probably figure out what excuse she was going to give, or ask Annette and Sidina for help. They would probably know someone who she could ask to pretend to be her boyfriend.
If push comes to shove, she could just say that her non existent boyfriend had a family emergency happen the day before and had to fly out to his hometown. Yes, that should work.
“Thank you, Dad for yet another lovely dinner. I’ll see you next week about the details.”
“Yes, Rosetta. It has been lovely right, Maximilian,” he paused to watch her nod in agreement. “Every moment that your wedding gets closer I get more excited that at least one of my daughters is on the right path.”
Maxi had to bite back her feelings at that. He never missed an opportunity to cut her down at any chance.
“Y-yes, it w-was l-lovely,” she said. “I’ll s-see you a-all n-next m-month.” She pushed in her chair and smoothed her skirt before putting her arms through her coat as Rosetta and her father continued talking. She turned to leave, hand reaching for her phone to finally check it while also grabbing her keys.
“Oh! And Maxi,” her sister’s voice rang out. “I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend finally. Riftan, right?”
She had to pause and stare blankly ahead, her mind swimming in panic trying to find the right word. She had never mentioned her boyfriend’s name. That had been Henry and his name had never come up. But she knew Riftan. She was glad that she was turned away from them so that they couldn’t see the expressions cross her face.
She knew Riftan, Rosetta knew Riftan. God, did her father know Riftan? Surely he had heard her mention his name, or seen him in the photos of her friend group. He was tagged in the photos that Ruth tagged her in on facebook for God’s sake. She had never said that Riftan was her boyfriend. She always sometimes wished he was though. He was always so nice to her and she had always had an interest in him.
Had Rosetta heard her late night phone conversations when she was a teenager, complaining that Riftan never saw her that way. Crying that he had never asked her out to any of the dances and balls that school and University had held.
Always orbiting around her, never to come close.
“Y-y-yeah.” She cringed at how badly she stuttered out her answer, wishing for the ground to enclose her so that she could escape. She almost ran out after that, not wanting to have to talk to her father, and see the disappointment and disgust on his face. He still hated her stutter and wouldn’t stop lecturing her about it, even though she could do nothing about it.
The cold wind bit her face once she was finally out of the restaurant. It stung against her flushed cheeks, making her eyes tear up. She took a moment to look up at the dark sky, void of any stars in this large city where the skyscrapers rose to the heavens. It always felt so lonely in the inner city where all of the affluent people like her father and sister lived.
She knew her father wanted her to follow in either his or her sister’s shoes, becoming a trust fund lawyer, or an up and coming actress. But it had never felt right. Her stutter had been ridiculed by him so much that she had withdrawn into this shell, not able to stand up for herself in an argument. If he had wanted her to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer than why had he cut her down so much as a child. And she could never follow Rosetta and become an actress. She was much to plain for that, her voice stuttering and annoying whenever she said something.
She put her head down as she walked down to her car. It looked so strange sandwiched between two much newer and more expensive cars. It was one of the very few things that her father had given her, before she went to university, it was new when he had brought it for her, much like the cars that he brought Rosetta every year, but was now a few years old, various paint chips over it, as well as dirt from the road. She was thankful that her father paid for university at least, allowing her to focus on her studies without becoming massively in debt, but still. It would be nice to have a newer car, or at least for her father to pay for her living costs instead of having to share a cheap flat, barely making enough to live by while they lived in luxury. A punishment for not following the family plan. She knew that he would have refused to pay for university if it wouldn’t have then looked badly on him.
She wished she was treated half as well as Rosetta, pampered instead of thrown aside and hidden in the background and sides of photos, if she was in them at all.
She finally checked her phone as she locked herself into her car, the screen lighting up with messages from her friends complaining about university work. Annette had asked how her father had been, and she lied, saying that it had been fine.
It was halfway through driving through the city, blasting music through her car that everything fully set in and she realised what a mess her life was. Her father thought that she had a boyfriend and she didn’t have the guts to tell him the truth, that she didn’t. And then, Rosetta’s question of ‘Riftan, right’ echoed within her head. The words were so simple but had so much weight.
She had to know Riftan, that he was in Maxi’s friend group, that he orbited around her every thought when she was younger. Dreaming of a life with him that was, well impossible. He had never looked at her that way, had never been interested in her that way. The fact that he had never asked her out, or even reacted to any of the hints that she had given him reason enough for her to know that she wasn’t interested in her. He was probably more interested in Rosetta anyway.
Everyone was more interested in Rosetta.
It was times like this where she wished that she looked like Rosetta, was perfect like Rosetta. She was so sure that if she just looked like blonde, flawless Rosetta, no one would mind her stutter. It wouldn’t matter that she couldn’t say a sentence properly. She could just smile instead, and everyone would fall for her.
She wanted to scream, her mind overdrawn and crying at every thought. It wasn’t fair that Rosetta had never endured the rage and anger of their father. That she had never had to hear his disparaging words about her stutter. No, Rosetta got the easy way out thanks to her looks and perfect personality. And now she just had to ruin Maxi’s life as well.
Why did she have to say those words?
Riftan, right?
Riftan.
She knew that Maxi had liked him forever, the older boy in her friend group, 4 years older than her, already gone through all of university and now working as an athlete with a computer science degree on the side. Always there on the edge, orbiting but never coming close.
And it wasn’t like she could just lie and say that he wasn’t her boyfriend now, she had said yes before her mind had really realised it, the horror overcoming her as she ran out of the restaurant, and now gripped her steering wheel tightly. Maybe she could have an accident before her sister’s wedding, or come clean and tell her father that they had broken up.
She could lie next month and say that they broke up, that he broke her heart like he already has.
But Rosetta would probably call her bluff and invite him.
She needed a drink. Preferably many to be able to forget this, and then next month she would just call out of the family dinner crying saying that he had broken up with her, and that she couldn’t do family dinner.
Yes, that should work.
Her mind hardened as she got closer to her flat. I’ll just have some drinks to calm down with Annette and Sidina, complain about family dinner and they would laugh at her idiocy. It would all work out, right? Just a few drinks tonight and then she’d lie next month.
A little deception never hurt anyone.