Chapter Text
It was already bad enough that he was unintentionally roped into Chris and Elise’s family vacation, but the thought of actually dying because of it? Maybe karma finally decided to give him the kick in the ass that he deserved.
Then again, that kick in the ass seemed pretty painful all things considered.
“THIS CAN’T BE THE END! I HAVE WAY TOO MANY REGRETS! SO MANY WRONGS UNAVENGED! MY LANDLORD REFUSES TO REPLACE THE LIGHT BULB IN MY REFRIGERATOR!” Dan shouted as he slid around on the ship deck in a lounge chair, though the expression on his face seemed to contradict the severity of the current situation that he was currently in.
As he clung onto a random lounge chair for his dear life, Dan took a look at Chris as he stood alongside Elise and her parents and realized just how empty and meaningless his life was. Compared to Chris, Dan was constantly moving from job to job, and he could barely make ends meet despite living in a dirt-cheap and seedy apartment complex that would even make the homeless recoil in disgust. That’s not to say that Dan didn’t try to get his life in order. On the contrary, he did attend his court-ordered anger management classes willingly and even talked to a therapist at Elise’s suggestion, but it was always so easy to just fall back on his anger. Whenever he was angry, he could use that anger to ignore the horrendous state of his current lifestyle. It’s not that he wanted to be angry all the time, but old habits die hard and being angry at someone or something provided the perfect distraction to forget about all the things that were currently wrong with his life, even if the distraction only lasted for a little while.
His thoughts were soon interrupted as Chris planted his foot on the back of Dan’s lounge chair in order to stop him from sliding around any further, and by the look on his face, he looked thoroughly angry with his best friend.
“REALLY, DAN? IS THAT ALL YOU WANT TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST? Chris shouted in frustration over the noise of the vortex, snapping Dan out of his tangent.
Dan looked back at Chris and couldn’t help but feel at least a semblance of guilt for his words. It wasn’t often that Chris got angry, but when he did, he just had this way of making you feel like the worst person in the world. It also didn’t help that Dan was secretly infatuated with him on an admittedly more than platonic level, but regardless, he knew he messed up when Chris of all people was upset with him.
And then it dawned on Dan. Throughout his life, Chris had always been there for him when they were growing up, at least, as much as he could’ve been, and he never really asked for anything in return. Even now, when they were currently just moments away from their imminent death, Chris still didn’t use the situation as an opportunity to air out his long list of grievances against Dan or even attempt to hurt him for indirectly leading them to their demise. All Chris wanted was to enjoy a nice vacation with his wife and maybe get to know his in-laws a bit more, yet Dan ruined his plans for what seemed to be at least the thousandth time.
There were so many things that Dan wanted to say to him at that moment. He wanted to apologize to Chris for not being a better friend or for always taking advantage of his kindness or even tell him how much he cared about him, but the words never came out right whenever he tried to express himself. Even before this moment. It always felt like there was an invisible hand trying to strangle him whenever he tried to say something along those lines. Chris probably knew that Dan cared about him, but Dan wanted to at least show some form of gratitude to him for everything he’s done, yet his anger and what could only be described by Elise as “emotional constipation” would always get the better of him. After a few seconds, Dan just said whatever he could at that moment.
“IT’S POSSIBLE I’VE WASTED MY LIFE ON PETTY AND ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS QUESTS FOR VENGEANCE! THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!” Dan asked as he tried to talk over the vortex’s noise.
“WE’RE PROUD OF YOU DAN!” Chris said.
“I’m proud of you”
That’s what those words meant to Dan as his best friend placed an affirmative hand on his shoulders. Words that he never really heard all too often when he was younger, and hearing them now really softened his resolve and demeanor. Of all the things in life he wanted and needed, Dan just wanted someone to care about him or give him the time of day the way Chris did. He just didn’t fully realize that Chris was that person that cared about him. Dan couldn’t recall the last time someone actually complimented him, let alone compliment him for doing something good. Most of the time, people were pissed off at him because he did something wrong. That’s usually how it went. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t help but get pissed off at something and people were usually pissed off at him because of something he did.
“BUT WE’D BE A LITTLE PROUDER IF WE WEREN’T ALL ABOUT TO DIE!” Elise’s father, Don, shouted.
As the vortex intensified, Dan noticed everyone holding each other’s hands until Chris, with that same hopelessly optimistic smile, extended his hand out to him for Dan to hold.
Dan raised an eyebrow in confusion. Why would Chris still want to be friends with him even though they were now mere seconds away from dying, all of which was due to Dan’s idiocy in the first place. It made Dan wonder just how could someone like Chris exist. He was quite literally a walking generator of kindness and positivity no matter the situation. Even when Elise’s parents treated him like absolute trash in the past and during their vacation, he still took it all in stride and gave them a smile. The very sight of Chris just deepened the feelings of guilt that Dan felt. Chris didn’t deserve to be condemned to his death. If anything, Dan thought that he was the one that was the most deserving of an early death out of all of them. Chris had so much more to live for than him. He had a wife, a stable job, a nice home, parents and family that actually cared about him, prospects to look forward to in the future, pretty much everything that Dan didn’t have. Yet that didn’t matter because Dan readily threw everything he had away by leading him into this mess. How could he even call himself Chris’s best friend at that point? He almost denied Chris’s offer, but as Dan thought about it, this was essentially his best friend’s last dying wish. Dan knew that he was a lot of things. A jerk? Most definitely, and he even had the shirt to prove it. A rageaholic? Without a doubt. But a complete asshole? That was definitely not one of them.
Slightly reluctantly, Dan placed his hand in his best friend’s and looked on into the vortex with a stoic expression.
The ship soon began to warp and bend as it became distorted in the vortex until it finally broke in half. Completely stunned, Dan lost his grip on the railing of the ship, and the group found themselves being dragged into the vortex. Strangely, the feeling of being dragged into a raging vortex felt oddly therapeutic. Dan’s body felt entirely weightless as he floated into the air.
“Daaaaaaaaaaan!” Chris yelled, his voice heavily distorted.
“Whaaaaaaaaaat?”
“I fooooorgooooooot what I waaaaas goiiiiiing to saaaaaay!” Chris said as he got pulled into the vortex.
Dan was about to yell at him for wasting his time until he was yanked into the vortex as well. He looked up at the night sky as he tried to reach out for something, anything to grab onto, but to no avail. The last thing he saw was bright white light surrounding him before it all collapsed into nothing but a black void.
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In an instant, everything changed. One moment, everything was perfectly fine, and then, suddenly, there’s only darkness. It all just stops.
There’s no alarm or sense of urgency, no floating debris, no sound of reverberating water.
Only Chris’s voice.
“Dan? You with me? It’s gonna be okay, alright?”
“...Chris?” Dan mumbles. The voice he heard sounded close, yet muffled and distant, almost as if he was being held underwater. And the words he was able to catch weren’t making any sense. He tried opening his eyes, but no matter how often he blinked, his vision was still blurry. He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of white or blue, but everything else stayed unclear and smudgy. His head was spinning, and he was just vaguely realizing that he was lying on something soft.
Dan attempted to sit up, wincing at the sharpness of the pain that shot through his skull. Instinctively, his right hand darted up to the back of his head. There’s a wound there, mostly dried up, but when he draws his hand back again he can feel some remnants of blood sticking to his finger tips.
“Easy there,” Chris’s voice says gently. “You took a bad blow to the head. Better take it slow, okay?”
Dan turned his head to the side before blinking again, and gradually the world around him regained its shape. He tried to concentrate and decipher his surroundings in an attempt to determine the situation he’s found himself in. Even through his foggy thoughts, his instinct still tells him that it’s the vital thing to do.
Quickly letting his eyes roam over the room, Dan first catches sight of a desk just across from him, opposite of the bed he was laying on. He sees several bags of chips and other various snack foods lying on the desk alongside a stack of books. A gaming controller — Xbox, Dan thought to himself. It’s been a while since he’s last played any sort of video game. Behind the table, posters of various football players adorn the blue-painted wall. Thrown over the backrest of the desk chair is a thick letterman jacket with the words “Van Nuys Owls” printed on it. The phrase seems familiar, but Dan can’t figure where he’s possibly seen it before. He knows it’s supposed to be familiar, but for some reason, he isn’t able to make the connection at that moment.
Pushing that puzzle aside for later, Dan looked around the room again, and he managed to find the console the controller belonged to along with a rather boxy-looking CRT TV. There’s a laptop on the end table — on the screen flickers some sort of text program — and beside it, a little figurine of one of the aliens from Space Invaders and a frame with a family photo in it. It pictured a man, a woman and what Dan concluded to be their son. It’s old and faded, yet aside from that, it looked like it was free from any physical wear and tear.
His eyes flicker back to the controller on the desk, then dart around the room rapidly in search of something, anything to protect himself. However, his eyes always return to the controller on the desk, knowing that if push comes to shove he’ll be able to use it as a weapon. He’s made due with less.
“Where the hell am I?” Dan croaked out.
“Dan, do you remember me?”
Dan nods slowly, turning his fixed gaze away from the controller for a second to look back at the guy standing near the bed.
What the hell?
Dan’s eyes widen, and if possible, his throat goes even drier than before. He immediately shuffles backwards, trying to put more space between them.
There was an awkward pause of silence for a moment as Chris reached over on his desk to grab something.
“Look, I understand that you’re angry. That’s only fair. I’d at least be a little ticked off too, if some stranger just ran me over while I was riding my bike, let alone someone you called your best friend for life when we were kids. I guess I should’ve paid more attention to where I was going. Mom always said that my head was in the clouds…” Chris said as he put his pointer fingers together sheepishly.
“What?!”
“I’m sorry!” Chris said, “It was an accident. I just— I didn’t see you. It’s like you came out of nowhere. But at the same time, I just… didn’t expect to see you again! At least, not after… you know…”
Dan just continued to stare at Chris blankly, almost as if he doesn’t even listen to the words that are coming out of the stranger’s — Chris’s mouth, not really. He just stares at the other man’s lips, dumbfounded, sees them forming words that aren’t making any sense.
His eyes wandered up to Chris’s eyes, and Dan drew his eyebrows together as he sees that they’re blue. Clear, bright blue. The hue was undeniably his, no doubt about it. Yet, he doesn’t know why it’s bothering him so much, but it does.
And Chris is young. 19 maybe 20. The fact that he’s so tall yet athletically built was a clear giveaway too. Quite handsome if Dan was being perfectly honest, and let’s face it, sometimes he was too honest for his own good. There were clear signs that he was on a school sports team of some sort given the development and prominence of his musculature. Solidly built, he looked just like he did before he married Elise and got lazy, or well, lazier. Granted, she wasn’t all that bad when she wasn’t nagging Chris every five seconds, but the bigger issue was that she never knew when to lay off Chris. Not like Dan was one to talk, but on some days, Dan swore that Elise was a bigger bucket-drainer than Dan, especially when she threw her parents into the equation and expected Chris to do everything perfectly around them.
The teen, or well, young man standing before him bears little resemblance to the chunky and oafish part Canadian, part-bear man that he maintained an admittedly rocky relationship into their adulthood. But he knew it was the same man because he grew up with him and witnessed almost every incarnation and phase that Chris had gone through from the moment that Dan was reintroduced into his life for the first time in primary school.
What the hell is going on here?
Panic spreads through Dan’s chest, and he scans his mind for any leads at all about how he ended up here, why none of this is making sense, and then he remembers, the memories coming back with a jolt. The family cruise, the intense match of badminton that he and Chris had, Elise’s mother being a high-profile crime lord (which he kind of knew all along from the start), being locked in a prison cell with said crime lord and her family alongside Chris, accidentally causing everyone to die in a whirlpool…
The last one made Dan feel especially shitty. That time, he royally fucked up and there were some equally severe consequences to show for it.
“Dan?” Lines of worry appear on Chris’s brow.
He doesn’t even remember…
Dan’s heart started speeding up, as he felt it thumping against his chest almost painfully. A sudden rush of nausea overcomes him, and he quickly placed a hand over his mouth, afraid of throwing up. It’s continually getting harder to breathe, and Dan curls his fist around the fabric of the comforter, trying not to hyperventilate. In a desperate attempt to distract himself, he bites down on the inside of his cheek, hard, and that disgusting taste of copper fills his mouth while the edges of his vision start to darken.
He’s seen panic attacks before, but he’s never had one himself. Fuck, it feels like dying. Talk about irony.
A hand drops down on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Dan, talk to me. What’s wrong? Chris said, His voice, the very soul of gentleness and calmness, almost like an easy breeze on a summer day.
Everything, Dan wants to say, everything is wrong.
“I-I…” Dan couldn’t help but stumble over his words. Burning down the headquarters of a company that shilled shoddily made technological products and gadgets to the masses and fighting off a serial killer in the middle of a forest were things that Dan were used to. To him, those were actually attainable and doable. Coming back to life somehow and seeing his best friend again after he accidentally got him killed were totally out of the realm of possibility in Dan’s mind, and that said a lot coming from Dan. Fighting against insurmountable odds was normal, but Dan wasn’t God. Coming back to life like this was, or at least should’ve been impossible. For as much as he boasted and talked himself up, even he had his limits.
“You need to regulate your breathing. Take a deep breath and try to hold it for about five seconds, and then exhale through your mouth, okay?” Chris requested.
Dan did as he was told before exhaling slowly through his mouth.
“Good, okay, do it as many times as you need to.”
He doesn’t look at Chris, at this other Chris, not wanting to risk hyperventilating all over again.
Once he started feeling calmer, Dan pushed himself into a sitting position and tried to look at the situation rationally. It’s not gonna be much use if Chris thought he was batshit crazy, or rather, crazier than usual, but then again, Chris would probably be accepting of it. Or worse, Chris would think that he’s got some kind of amnesia and decide to send him to a hospital. He doesn’t have that much of a support system, all things considered, so even if he needed to go to the hospital, he sure as hell didn’t have the money to cover the medical fees. But once again, if Chris remembered him, then he’d certainly try to cover the expenses for Dan given his generous and benevolent nature.
“Maybe I should take you to a hospital after all,” Chris suggested quietly to himself as if he read Dan’s mind.
“N-No! I’m alright! But, uh, thanks…” Dan said. “I feel fine,” he assured him, and he does feel fine, physically. And that’s exactly what’s confusing him. “Just a bit dizzy, that’s all.”
“Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like.” Chris offered. Typical, back when Chris was way too innocent and pure for this world. Before Dan embittered him by constantly being a jerk to everyone and everything in their adult years.
“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Dan remarked sarcastically.
“Couldn’t you at least pretend to be gracious?” Chris asked.
“Hey, I can be gracious! Just don’t expect me to be gracious to the jackass that ran me over…” Dan countered slyly. It really wasn’t fair to hold that against Chris since Dan really didn’t have any recollection of even being ran over in the first place. Besides, even if he did, he could argue that he deserved it for all the shit he put Chris through over the years. The family cruise was just the tip of the iceberg at that point.
However, the moment was ripe for the picking, and it was way too good to pass up an opportunity to mess with Chris.
“I’m sorry, alright?! I just… didn’t think I’d ever see you again ever since you and your parents moved away for the fifth time in a row. And then I heard about…”
Chris trailed off, unable to finish his statement, but decided to change the subject.
“Well, when I saw you pop up out of nowhere on the road like that, I just froze up…”
Dan recalled his formative years very hesitantly and resentfully. Years and years of constant moving and leaving and re-entering Chris’s life had made his contact with Chris sporadic at best, and outside of written letters, the only means of contacting him were through email and Skype or AIM. Even then, those moments were rare since Dan had to use a public computer at whatever library he could to even send an email or use Skype and AIM.
“Yeah, well, you should’ve gotten used to it by now…” Dan replied bitterly.
“Well, now I don’t have to because I’ve got you right here!” Chris said as he put an arm around Dan and pulled him in for a hug, burying the shorter boy’s face into his chest.
Normally, Dan would try to swat him away or even hit him for having the audacity to hug him, but he was grasping at straws for anything remotely familiar to him at this point. He really just needed a hug to provide some sort of comfort and certainty to himself. Because right now, nothing was making sense to him. If he was being entirely logical or even sane, then surely neither of them should be here right now, hugging it out like everything was all smiles and sunshine. It all just homed in on the same central idea that Dan had no actual clue as to what the hell was even going on.
That’s when it fully dawned on Dan that he couldn’t stay. The entire situation was way too confusing and foreign to Dan that he needed to leave and quickly assess the situation. Something happened to him when he fell into… whatever it was he fell into, and he wanted to at least figure out what happened and why he’s here in the first place.
“A-Actually, I do need to leave…” Dan said as he pushed Chris off of him.
“Awww, come on, Dan! You can’t leave just yet! Not when you’re finally back in the neighborhood again! Stay for a little longer! It’s been, what, almost half a year since I last saw you?”
“I really think I should leave…” Dan reasserted.
“At least stay to eat some lunch with me! I ordered some pizza and wings!”
And then, like clockwork, Dan’s stomach began to grumble. How long had it been since he actually ate something? It wasn’t like he would even be able to know the answer to his own question, but he did have a tendency to just forget to eat or sleep for days on end. If it wasn’t for Chris calling him to remind him to sleep or eat, then Dan would’ve probably have kicked the bucket a long time ago. Growing up, he often had to go without food out of necessity, but even when he did have food, he’d often forget to eat, not because he didn’t want to, but due to the sheer fact that it was a force of habit for him that he’d simply forget that he even had food in his fridge in the first place.
Chris just looked at him eagerly, already knowing the answer.
“Fine! I’ll stay and eat! Sheesh, you’re like a damn golden retriever.” Dan said.
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Once the delivery man arrived with Chris’s order. The two of them sat down on the futon in Chris’s room to watch some TV. Of course, Dan, being lactose-intolerant, settled for the wings while Chris opted for both pizza and buffalo wings.
Aside from the fact that Dan was in a totally bizarre alternate universe/timeline situation, a wave of nostalgia rushed over him as he took a bite out of one of the wings. Here the two of them were. Teenagers that were technically adults as far as age went, but too young to go out and drink and too old to be considered regular teens, just hanging out at Chris’s home as they surfed through all the channels on Chris’s TV.
As Chris flipped through the channels, they eventually settled for a movie. Some cheesy action comedy flick that was like a bootleg Rush Hour. This seemed to cheer him up quite a bit as he found himself laughing at some of the most poorly delivered jokes known to man. Normally, Dan wouldn’t be caught dead watching something so poorly made without going into full-critic mode, but seeing the smile on Chris’s face, he decided to hold back for his sake and instead change topics.
“So… What’ve you been up to lately?” Dan asked. A safe option because there was no way he was just going to drop another bomb on him so soon. It wasn't like he could just walk up to Chris and tell him that he's from an alternate timeline or had memories of a past life. That was crazy, even for Dan's standards.
“Oh, well, you know, not much. I mean, you know Elise, right? Really nice girl, you met her before you moved six months ago, and honestly, she and I've been good friends for a while, and I think she wants to take it to the next level. She actually invited me over to her parents’ house for dinner, so I think she’s pretty serious about me.” Chris said.
“That’s… good…” Dan said, unsure of how to respond. Experiencing all of this again was like losing the man he felt so warmly towards all over again. Of course, he could just flat out talk him out of going and just confess his feelings right now, but did he have the right to try and ruin his happiness a la Hortence? At this point, doing so would’ve made the situation into Hortence 2.0. Then again, Dan wasn’t entirely too sure if he was actually in love with Hortence in the way he was with Chris, mainly because she dulled the pain of his mundane life in the same way that Chris did, so he simply gravitated towards her because she gave him the time of day.
“Yeah, but the thing is, I don’t know if her parents are going to like me or not. She did tell me that they’re kind of… critical. And well, I might have to be on my guard since I’m going to be on my own against them.”
“You make it sound like you’re fighting them…” Dan snarked.
“I just want to expect the unexpected and be ready for anything. Besides, it’s their house, so you know how it goes. Their word’s the law. Can’t talk back to them, all that jazz. Not only that, but her dad’s apparently going to give me a job as an assistant manager at this new cupcake shop they're opening.” Chris said. Guess that’s one thing about him that isn’t different. Even when other people are at fault, he still can’t help but revert to passivity and submission in order to appease them.
“Well… Want me to come along?” Dan asked. He really wasn’t expecting him to say yes, but judging the situation at face-value, he really needed all the help he could get.
“Oh, I don’t know, Dan. You probably wouldn’t want to waste your time having dinner with an old married couple.” Chris said. Regardless, he’s not going to worm his way out of this one.
“Don’t tell me how to use my time! If I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have offered.” Dan replied rebelliously.
“Well, you’re not coming empty-handed. Bring something along because we’re not going to freeload off of them.”
“I’ll make my grandma’s recipe for deviled eggs. They’ll love them. And if they don’t, then tough shit.”
“I… don’t think that’s how it works when you’re the guest of the guest, Dan.”
“Whatever, when do you have to go?”
“Tonight, actually. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, I can make it work. It’ll be real quick.”
“Some reunion, right? First time I see you again in half a year, and the first thing I do is force you to make some deviled eggs. Sorry, I know it was kind of a jerk move.” Chris joked half-heartedly.
“It’s not a big deal, Chris. I can make like a dozen of them in half an hour. Besides, I’m going there for the food too.” Dan replied blasély. Knowing Elise’s family, they’ll probably prepare a whole banquet feast for them. He expected no less from Elise and her family. For as much of a prissy soulless show-off she was, Dan would’ve been lying if he said that she didn’t have the skills to back up the showboating.
“You’re the best, Dan. Really, I didn’t think I was going to make it through dinner alone.”
“Thank me when we actually get through it. By the way, I need to borrow a dozen eggs from your fridge, some mayonnaise, and you'll need to take me to the store to get 11 herbs and spices.”
“Wait, you mean you’re not going to even tell me about your family’s recipe?! I thought we were best friends!”
“Chris, my grandma’s recipe is sacred. Even though she could be a real pain in the backside, she could make a mean deviled egg.” Dan said before letting out a sigh. “I miss her.”
“Well, let’s go visit her sometime!” Chris said.
“Don’t be stupid, Chris. She’s-”
And that’s when it dawned on Dan.
His grandma was still alive…
The last time he ever talked to her was when he had that big argument with her…
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“NO, YOU SHUT UP! SHUT UP! WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? I SAID, SHUT UP! Okay, bye Grandma!”
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Of course, he didn’t necessarily “regret” how it all went down per se, but he could’ve at least treated her a bit more respectfully. And no matter what happened, she was always a phone call away to lend an ear. Strange how a sweet lady like her had such a hellraiser for a grandson.
“You know what? I’d like that…” Dan said.
“We’ll visit her after Christmas or something. It’ll be fun! Now, about that deviled egg recipe...”
“The only way you’ll get that recipe out of me is if you court me for it.” Dan said.
“That can be arranged…” Chris teased.
“Wait, what’re you-”
Dan was quickly cut off as Chris quickly got on top of him, his arms holding him up over Dan as he laid on the futon.
“Well~? Feel like telling me about it now?” Chris replied with a smirk.
Dan’s face quickly reddened. Chris wasn’t usually this dominant, but then again, when you’re married to someone as Type-A as Elise, you’d probably back down and soften up over the years too just to avoid her wrath.
“Got ya~.” Chris teased as he quickly got off of Dan.
“You fucking asshole! Don’t do that again!” Dan said as he repeatedly punched Chris’s arm.
“Hey! I’m sorry, but you should’ve seen the look on your face! You were so red!” Chris said, unable to contain his laughter.
“You’re taking me to the store to help me get the ingredients. And for the record, you’re paying.” Dan grumbled as he folded his arms.
“Okay, Colonel Sanders. I’ll get you your herbs and spices…” Chris joked.
“Jackass…” Dan said.
It was at this moment, Dan knew that he was going to be here for a while.