Chapter Text
Seidōu had just won Kōshien for the fourth time in a row, but this time with Sawamura Eijun not only acting as their Ace but also as their Captain. It was a moment that was full of happy tears accompanied by excited chatter, and celebrations all around for all of those who were on the Seidou team and those affiliated, in one way or another with it. Still, for three of the current third years, it was a moment full of nothing but heart-wrenching regrets. As had become the norm for them every time they came out successful during Kōshien when they would come face to face with their senpais who didn’t get to reach that sacred stage with them during their high school career.
It was something that would suddenly appear out of the dark recesses of their minds and reach its cold hands into their chest to wrap its horrid claws around their hearts because it was not fair that they got to repeatedly reach that sacred stage when their upperclassmen hadn’t gotten the chance to do so. So that guilt took on that horrid form and reminded them every single time without fault.
They were currently on the bus that would take them back to their hotel for the night before making the trip back to Tokyo the following day so the team could fully celebrate back at the dorms with the rest of the staff as well as the second and non-stringers. The majority of the first-string players had by now succumbed to the heaviness that they finally felt settled deep into the very marrow of their bones.
Once the adrenaline from the match had left their bodies the exhaustion had instantly overtaken most of them. They had all given it their all and deserved the break the ride back to the hotel would provide them after all no one could really blame them as the match they had just come out successful from had been a gruesome one with the score being called at 22-19.
However, in the back seat of the bus sat two players who couldn’t find it in themselves to sleep even after the only sound remaining on said bus was the snores of their teammates around them.
Third-year captain and current Ace, Sawamura Eijun, and vice-captain and clean-up hitter Kominato Haruichi were the only two souls awake besides the bus driver. Their fellow third-year and last member of the iconic trio, Furuya Satoru, sat with his cheek pressed to Haruichi's shoulder as he slept.
Haruichi and Eijun sat together in silence with a feeling of adomania overtaking both of them as had become customary but they never acknowledged it while with the rest of their team, just in case someone could ever overhear them speak all their darker feelings into existence, but there was an unspoken understanding between them and when it was only the three of them they would bring up the topic every once in a blue moon.
However, at least for now, it would be one of those times where they did not touch on the subject for the time being.
-
The last practice of the year had taken place a week after their victory at Kōshien and had just ended with the third years bidding their teammates goodbye, and wishing them luck in their next chance at reaching Kōshien. After having bid everyone goodbye and practically stepping back from their assigned titles Sawamura Eijun and Kominato Haruichi found themselves lying under the shade of a tree located at the edge of field A. Originally their raven-haired friend was going to join them but Furuya had decided to stay back after he had realized he still had some things to get ready.
The two boys were just laying side by side in silence taking in the field that had witnessed their hard work for the past three years. Today was the last time they would step on it as current team members because they would only be alumni come morning.
The Captain let out a deep exhale as he took in the smell of the recently mowed grass that they lay on and the chirp of the cicadas a little far off from them. He let his mind wander through all the events that had taken place since he had left his home to join the team that eventually became a family away from home to him. At the sound, the roseate boy beside him gave a minuscule smile in understanding.
“Time truly has passed us by in a flash, hasn’t it? Tomorrow we’ll already be leaving the dorms and later these fields, and our only worry will be deciding which university or pro team we’ll be joining” Haruichi stated as he opened his eyes and glanced at his brunette friend, whose fiery gaze was fixed onto the branches that were currently shielding them from the last rays of the Tokyo sun.
“Yeah-I guess it has. I mean now we’re not expected to wake up early and join practice anymore; we’re just expected to retire from this team after having given our all to these fields for the past three years. Suddenly we’re just supposed to pack up and leave like nothing after everything…” Eijun trailed off, keeping his gaze fixed on the branches above them as melancholy overtook him. He paused for a second as he sat up from his lying position, while he tried to reign in his emotions and contemplated whether to ask his friend the one question that had been plaguing his mind for the past few weeks, after all, it was a question he had previously asked his friend pink-haired friend plenty of times before, but that now felt heavy on his tongue as their time as part of their team slowly came to end.
Now that the context surrounding the events his question revolved around it had felt almost insensitive to ask when the end was staring them right in the eyes. Even so, Eijun decided to brace the storm as he steeled his resolve.
“Haruich… do you hold any regrets regarding these past three years that we’ve been at Seidōu? After everything is there anything you wish you could have done differently?” Eijun uttered so suddenly, that it caught his pink-haired counterpart off guard for a split second before said boy gathered his wits enough to find the courage to voice his thoughts.
“I suppose in some sense we all hold some regrets” Having noticed the small moment of hesitation on Eijun’s face, the vice-captain decided not to point it out and instead waited for his friend to articulate his thoughts.
Haruichi had known Eijun long enough to be able to pinpoint when the usually lively pitcher was upset and had gotten lost in his head, as he was gathering the courage to put his thoughts into words. Now seeing Eijun sitting up with his eyes glued to the floor surrounded by a quiet demeanor let the roseate know that it was exactly one of those moments now.
“My biggest regret- Is not being able to attend Kōshien with the senpais… we managed to attend four times in a row after they left, but never once did we attend with them. The year that they were here we failed to reach that stage with them-” Eijun pondered then turned to meet the cherry blossom-colored eyes of the boy that lay beside him, who at his words had let out a small almost inaudible gasp.
“Eijun…” Haruichi croaked as remorse and resentment began to claw their way throughout Haruichi’s whole being, creating a knot in his throat that left him unable to utter anything other than the pitcher’s name.
“Say Haruichi, what would you do differently if you could get a second chance at our first year at Seidōu? What would you fix or do differently?” Eijun’s voice once again pierced through the quiet atmosphere that had blanketed the two teens after his confession.
The question wasn’t asked in his usual boisterous tone, instead, it was expressed in a much softer tone. One that was accompanied by a faraway look in Eijun’s golden eyes and the beginning of a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. Haruichi felt concern overtake him at the look in Eijun’s eyes and once again felt regret wrap its clawed fingers around him and make a home in the very marrow of his bones. Nevertheless the roseate gave a minuscule smile at the sound of his best friend’s nickname of choice for him.
“Hm… I guess if I’m being honest I would change a multitude of things that I wish I would have done differently back then. For one I would try to fix my relationship with my brother, and I would also work harder to ensure that we could make it to Kōshien with my Aniki and the rest of the team from that year.”
‘ I would also try and be a better friend to you Eijun. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you back then’ The last part of his sentiment had gone unspoken as he opted for turning the question back around on his friend curious to see his answer.
“What about you Eijun-kun? What would you like to change or do differently?” Haruichi understood where all of this was coming from as he was also feeling exponentially remorseful and nostalgic about the past years the closer they got to their final hours as part of the baseball team that had become their whole world during their time at Seidōu.
The feeling had begun to take hold of him the second he began his third year but it was almost as if with every passing day, after the beginning of the school year, the nostalgia and remorse only grew until it was the only thing that they could feel. It was almost as if those two emotions were aware of the fact that the one place that they had grown to call home and helped them grow close to not only their senpais but also their current friends and kōhais was suddenly about to be ripped from their grasp, and it was feeding the emotions like kindling to a flame.
Of course, their departure from the team did not mean that they would no longer have contact with said people; after all, they still kept in contact with their senpais even to this day, and they would make sure to keep in touch with their juniors just as their upperclassmen had done.
They would still be there anytime their underclassmen needed someone to reach out to. Still, there would no longer be any get-togethers in room 5 or in room 203 where all the current first-string members would overtake either Eijun and Asada's room or Okomura’s room, on the rare days that they had a day off from practice or days where they had a particularly good match.
In actuality, there will most likely still be get-togethers in rooms 5 and 203 just none that involved them, because they were sure that their underclassmen would surely keep the tradition alive even after they left.
The fact that they would no longer be involved went unspoken and had quietly accepted with heavy hearts.
There were also the more painful memories that they would be leaving behind. Memories that were gut-wrenching to think back on but still played a hand in shaping them into the people that they are today. Haruichi understood this all too well and resonated with his friend because there was no escaping these emotions no matter how hard they tried to outrun them. Those emotions were always running right alongside them.
Having been friends with Eijun since the beginning of their journey at Seidōu and also having been his vice-captain for a whole year, he could understand when he and Eijun stood on the same wavelength as well as when the brunette was reminiscing the cursed events that had occurred during their first year.
About a time that felt like an eternity ago but at the same time felt almost as if it had only just happened yesterday. It was an ever-present event in the minds of all their batchmates and that of their senpais even if they refused to say so out loud.
How they couldn’t achieve the dream of reaching Kōshien along with their beloved senpais, that although they hadn’t spent nearly as long as they wished with that team, said senpais still meant the absolute world to them. It was a team that they held the most near and dear if they were being honest.
Even if they had given it their all it had still not been enough to help their senpais reach Kōshien, and that was the fact that cut the deepest and had them retreating to a dark faraway corner to lick their wounds away from prying eyes. It was the fact that they had done everything in their power at the time just for their best to not be enough. They had simply not been strong enough back then to help their senpais reach their dreams.
Their determination to achieve their goal had been there but Kōshien was not something that was attained on determination alone. They had learned the cold and bitter truth through experience that day.
Kōshien was a sacred stage that was reached on more than just determination. That was only the beginning factor; it also required hard work and skills obtained due to hours and years of honing said skills. All the players that participated in the challenge that was reaching Kōshien poured their blood, sweat, and tears into their training to be able to hone their skills enough just to be able to make it onto that dream stage. Although back then they had one of the factors that played a hand in them reaching Kōshien they were simply not skilled enough to take their senpais there. That fact was the most disheartening and gut-wrenching to them even to this day.
It wasn’t to say that they had not trained day in and day out as much if not even more than most first years did to prepare for the challenge, yet it solely came down to experience and the fact that they had needed more time to hone their skills to the point that they were standing on even ground with their opponents and not standing three steps behind them.
After all, determination alone could only take them so far regarding that sacred dream stage. Eijun’s mind once again began to wonder about the events that had made the biggest impact on his baseball career.
He could feel the rays of the Tokyo summer shining down on him from where he stood on the mound and the sweat that was running down his face and back, but the pitcher was unsure if it was solely because of the summer heat or because of the tension that hung high in the air and his nerves. Putting that thought aside to dissect later he began his windup and threw the pitch Miyuki had called for, and that was the exact moment when everything came to a life-shattering halt.
CRACK
Suddenly the batter that was once standing in front of Miyuki was lying on the ground as Eijun stood frozen in place. A few mere seconds ago his skin was prickling because of the summer heat but now he felt cold all over his blood having iced over in his veins as he stood helplessly on the mound, only having broken out of his fear-induced stupor when he heard the umpire shout out that dreaded word that would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.
“Deadball!!”
Although the game as a whole plagued his nightmares that event stood out the most. The sickening and deafening sound of his pitch meeting Shirakawa’s helmet and the thundering voice of the umpire called out the deadball before quickly calling for a medic to check on the redhead who was roaring on the ground.
“I would try harder to take the senpais to Kōshein- and try harder not to break under the pressure” Eijun tailed off his tone loaded with guilt. Upon noticing his friend’s concerned gaze on him Eijun turned away from him, yet Haruichi had already seen how his bright eyes had lost some of their usual golden hues and had begun to turn bloodshot as crystalline ears started to fill his waterline.
With a feeling of contriteness overtaking him Haruich realized that Eijun was once again reliving the events that had cost them their ticket to Kōshien that year.
“Eijun… that year- those events weren’t your fault. We all played a part in it. The senpais and the team placed way too much responsibility on us. We were only in our first year and yet we were expected to fill in the roles of players that had two years of experience over us. It was an amount of responsibility and pressure that was leagues over what we were ready for at the time, not to mention the fact that most of it was pinned onto your shoulders- Eijun you can’t keep blaming yourself for those events; they weren’t your fault” Haruichi croaked through the lump that had once again made a home in his throat.
He knows Eijun better than anyone on their team so he is positive that Eijun is once more taking all the blame from that match and pinning it onto himself.
It had been something that Haruichi had noticed their Ace did frequently ever since the event took place. Eijun had even previously grazed over the subject to Haruichi, about how he still felt responsible for their loss against Inashiro during their first year.
The conversation was a little over a year overdue when it had finally been dusted off and opened and Haruichi had felt like the worst friend in the world when he realized that Eijun had been keeping all of that bottled up for so long, but the roseate boy had thought it was something that although painful to remember wasn’t something that was so deeply rooted in Eijun. He never noticed how deep-set the guilt had been until he was faced with this very moment.
Yes, the pitcher had mentioned that their loss still plagued him but he had only briefly referenced it as if it was something as common as any other loss they’d faced, but sitting beside Eijun right now and seeing the way that he hugged his knees close to his chest as if trying to become smaller and his eyes began to turn bloodshot and glassy from holding back tears just from thinking back on that event three years back. It made Haruichi once again feel like the worst friend in the world both for not having been there for Eijun during said time as well as for not having tried to find out more about just how much it affected Eijun when he had first brought up the subject and for not being able to do anything right now even though he was right beside him.
It was a loss they were both present for but they had felt it in completely different ways. Haruichi was not on the mound when it had happened, he was not the one with the hopes of all their teammates on his shoulders.
No, that had been Eijun.
Eijun, who had taken all those hopes and tried to make them come true.
Now three years down the line from that fateful game, the boisterous teen still blamed himself for the outcome when in truth it hadn’t been his fault at all. Eijun had done a spectacular job throughout the tournament and he had been a huge driving force behind the team’s motivation, but he was only human and there was no need for him to have been caring that heavy of a burden all on his own. Back then all of them had been lacking in one sense or another and that had led to their inevitable loss, it was not one single person's fault but no matter how much it was said Eijun never quite seemed to believe the words no matter how true they were or who spoke them.
They had been Icarus.
The same Icarus who had decided not to heed his father's warnings even after Daedalus had warned him countless times about flying too close to the sun. Yet in their greed to reach their goal, their metaphorical sun, they had ignored the important details. Their pitcher was blatantly breaking down, and just like Icarus had done they too had chosen to turn a blind eye to all the warnings. Instead, they had continued to fly higher and higher- reaching out their fingertips to try and touch the warmth of the sun and cradle it between their fingertips.
Having been so close to it that for once they could almost taste the warmth and feel it embrace them. That, however, had only led to their unavoidable fall from high above the clouds, and as the wax in their wings began to melt and run down their skin, in rivulets of scorching hot wax, they plunged into the vast ocean below them that helped soothe their burning skin but in turn had inevitably drowned them in the process and it was all thanks to their greed.
It hadn’t been Eijun’s fault at all because as his teammates they should have followed up after the incident with the deadball. They should have tried to help relieve the pressure Eijun was suffocating from and reassured him that the hit-by-pitch wasn’t his fault. They should have taken a second to notice the fear that was so evident on his face and checked up on him to assure him that the batter was fine, that it wasn’t his fault but they hadn’t done that.
The team should have taken the hint that they messed up the minute Eijun was taken off the mound, and that should have been their wake-up call to do better. They ought to have tried to help relieve the pressure that Nori-senpai must have felt when he walked onto the mound in the middle of that pinch. Yet they stood back and did nothing. Instead, it was Nori-senpai who despite his nerves tried to reassure Eijun because he was the only one who took one look into Eijun's eyes and noticed the way his eyes had lost their usual shine; their unwillingness to stand up and be that reassurance their pitchers needed had been yet another contributing factor to not only their loss but their downfall.
“I know, I just wish I could do it all over again. I would do so many things differently this time around if only I knew then what I know now” Eijun uttered with his head thrown back and his eyes closed to shield or hide away the emotions that were swimming around in his eyes.
“Yeah… I would too” was the quiet reply that was whispered from the pink-haired boy’s lips, as he and his best friend shared the feeling of remorse, melancholy, and a plethora of complicated emotions that had taken root between their rib cages and in their hearts.
They sat in silence for a while longer until they both decided it was better if they headed to their respective dorms for the night to get some rest after all come tomorrow morning they would begin to move out of the main dorms that accommodated all the current team members, and had housed them for the past three years, and they would move into the third-year dorms that they would occupy until the remainder of the school year came to a close.
As both teens drifted off to sleep with their hearts full of regrets and remorseful memories they both uttered one last thing in the quiet of their dorm rooms.
“I wish there was a way to redo everything”
-
Eijun was suddenly awoken from his sleep to the feeling of eyes on him and sat up from his lying position as he looked around he came to the realization that he was not in his dorm room. No, he was back at the tree out on field A where he had previously been with Haruichi. That much was obvious by the night sky that hung over him only being illuminated by the few pin-pricks on stars and the moon; but how could that be possible if both of them had made their way back to their dorms?
Eijun clearly remembers them walking to the dorms and making it back to his room. As he looked he noticed that Haruich was laying beside him and was moving around in his sleep as if he was stirring awake.
This had to be some sort of prank that the team was playing on them. Perhaps they were hoping that a harmless prank on their last night in the dorms would help lighten the mood. A quiet questioning hum vibrated from his throat as he continued to look around trying to make sense of things while Haruichi finally awoke beside him and had now sat up as he regarded the field with a cautious gaze.
“Haruichi?” Eijun questioned not needing to ask more than just the roseate’s name as their eyes met and they both continued to look around with vigilant eyes.
“I’m sure that we made it back to our dorms…” Haruichi replied as he turned his questioning gaze back to Eijun who nodded as if to confirm the information with him.
“Would you two truly like to go back?”
“What-who’s there? I swear, guys, if this is some kind of prank it isn’t funny…” Eijun called out to the disembodied voice they had heard speak out to them. He was sure that this way was just some elaborate prank that their teammates were playing on them, and they would all pop out from their hiding spots and try to give them a good scare once they looked frightened enough; however, as he looked around he realized that possibility was extremely low as all that was around them was a barren field as far as the eye could see. Other than the dorm building in the far distance Haruichi and him were the only two souls present at Field A at the moment, meaning their friends had nowhere to hide if this was, after all, some elaborate prank.
“Would you two really like a second chance at your first year?” Having paid closer attention to the voice that spoke out to them they both registered the fact that neither of them recognized it, after coming to that realization both boys were now on edge.
If this wasn’t one of their friends then who was this person?
“Who are you? How did you even get in here? How did WE even get here?” Haruichi exclaimed, having decided to skip the pleasantries as he felt the concern rise in him at the fact that both he and his best friend were trapped out in the field with some unknown person. Unconsciously Haruichi had stepped in front of the pitcher almost as if using his own body to shield Eijun from whatever imminent harm could be directed at them.
“Fear not for I pose no danger to you both. I am simply someone who holds the power to make your wish of fixing your past mistakes a reality. As well as someone who believes that had the circumstances been even a bit different you two could have potentially uncovered your full potential; as I am sure that you both have the power to become even stronger than you are now”
“To answer your other question of how you both as well as myself got here, that is rather simple really. You are both still in your beds sleeping but you’re in what you would call a dream of sorts”
“A dream?” Haruichi questioned in an incredulous tone as he turned to glance at Eijun who looked back with frowned brows and pursed lips equally as puzzled. Still, Haruichi kept his guard up and quickly looked away from Eijun in case anything happened; he could not risk moving from his position in front of Eijun no matter what. If the worst-case scenario came to be them shielding Eijun would give the brunette enough time to get a head start on running to the dorms and getting some help, being that Eijun was one of the fastest members on the team this was the safest bet.
Not to mention Haruichi would never let anything happen to Eijun, not if he could help it. If he had to use himself to shield his friend then he would do it in a heartbeat.
“So what I'm understanding is you’re like a god of some sort or something like that?” Eijun questioned in an incredulous tone as he tilted his head to the side and peered over Haruichi’s shoulder, as the pink-haired teen had reached his arm back to keep Eijun in place the moment he tried to move out from behind him. He scanned his eyes around the field that surrounded them just to make sure there really was nowhere for anyone to hide, just in case it truly was someone just trying to pull their leg or trying to get them to put their guard down before harming them or scarring them halfway to death, but once again he saw nothing but a desolate field.
“Who I am is of no importance as it is not something you two need to worry about. Therefore as I have now answered all of your questions it is time that you answer mine. Do you two truly wish to go back in time and have a second chance at your first year?”
Eijun tapped on Haruichi’s arm where the roseate held onto his wrist from where he once more tried to keep him from moving out from behind him but after a few seconds Haruichi relented and Eijun’s wrist was released. Now able to move the pitcher stepped out from behind his friend and stood beside him, his posture ram-rod straight and his eyes cautious. Once beside his friend, the two boys shared a glance before they both nodded at one another. A glimmer of determination shone in their eyes.
Of course, this all seemed completely absurd. The possibility of there being someone or something out there with the power to give them a second chance; and was offering them a chance to fix their past mistakes and regrets of their first year.
It was utterly preposterous!
No one would ever believe that but they had both already spent countless hours just talking about how they wished an opportunity like this could be given to them. That they could somehow fix the events of their past so they could finally stop living with the ever-present guilt and regret of not having been able to do enough back then. If all it took to make that wish reality was believing that this utterly absurd situation was real, that it could truly give them a second chance then they would take it in a heartbeat.
Nevertheless, they knew that this could all as well just be some last guilt-ridden dream, and they would wake up in the morning to say goodbyes to their fellow kōhais and coaching staff.
They could wake up at any moment and bid their farewells to the fields that accompanied them during countless hours of honing their skills for the past three years. The very same fields that they had poured their blood, sweat, and tears into and had borne witness to not only their victories but also their losses over the years. Yet there was that small 1% chance that this could all be real and even if it was childish of them they were willing to grasp at straws for that small 1%.
“Yes!!”
“Absolutely!!”
“Alright then just keep in mind that if you do go back there are some things you must never forget. You must never utter a word of the future to anyone else but yourselves. As of now only you two are to have this knowledge to wish as you see fit, and you must be aware that this is no easy feat for it will be a heavy burden to carry around. Another thing is that you are not allowed to directly change anyone else’s past other than your own.”
“That does however include some loopholes that I’m sure you two can figure out on your own but be very careful how you go about it, as nothing good ever comes when you meddle with other people’s lives. That leads me to my last point and that is that when I do send you two back I will have to give you both a fresh start as it would be unfair to your batch mates if I didn’t do so”
A fresh start?
What did that even mean?
Both boys looked at each other with frowned brows, as they tried to make sense of what that meant.
“ May you both achieve your goals as well as be able to fix your regrets and live a life where you hold none. As for how you two will contact one another well I am sure you two can figure that out on your own. Goodluck Sawamura Eijun and Kominato Haruichi. I can’t wait to see what this new opportunity will bring for you both”
How far back would they be sent back?
How would they communicate?
How would they even guarantee that this second chance would work?
As they were about to voice their concerns, their vision began to dim at the edges, slowly fading until only pitch darkness remained, and they fell into unconsciousness.