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You didn’t know when he’d gotten here since you’d just been in a troublesome dream, then a state between consciousness and unconsciousness till just a couple moments ago, but that soft humming was unforgettable to you.
Xiao was somewhere by your side, guessing by the proximity of his voice you’d guessed he had sat or crouched down on floor next to your bed.
Till he started humming he somehow hadn’t made a single sound, yet you felt as if you had subconsciously felt his presence even before then. Even when you’d been asleep.
His presence had always immediately made you less tense, it brought a sense of familiarity and comfort, and like usual it had brought you straight out of the nightmare you’d been having.
Was that why he was here?
He couldn’t have sensed something like that could he?
Xiao.
Oh
, you had said his name in your sleep again hadn’t you?
So
embarrassing
.
Suddenly you were very grateful for the darkness of the room as well as the blanket partially covering your face.
You were worried that you we subconsciously making a face, what if he realised you were awake? Well that was assuming he was looking at you right now.
Was he??
Usually you could always feel when his gaze on you, it was so strong you swore you could feel it burning into you at times.
Well, it was also incredibly soft a times too.
Sometimes it even managed to be both at once.
You mentally scolded yourself for a moment, it wasn’t time to think about that. Or anything for a matter of fact, you should be sleeping right now.
That was why he was here, to make sure you slept soundly.
The thought of that made your heart go soft for a moment.
You did your best to clear your head of any and all thoughts, it was difficult but once you’d began focusing on his voice you slowly felt yourself drifting into a more blank state of mind.
“… love you.”
Suddenly you were very much awake.
You’d almost jolted up, luckily, you managed to hold yourself back when you remembered you were supposed to be asleep.
Had you misheard that? You must’ve.
But then would you have such a reaction if you had?
Suddenly it was very hard to calm yourself, your now rapid heart beat made that evidently clear.
“I really do.. though I still do not.. understand. Why you choose to stay by my side, why you chose to do all you have done for me.”
He was saying all the things he couldn’t say to you directly wasn’t he? He wasn’t one to express himself with words most of the time.
“But I will to try to, and I’ll do the most I possibly can to ensure you never regret it, to ensure that I am worthy of all of it.”
You wouldn’t ever regret it, and he already-
“I know I’m not worthy yet.. but I will be. I won’t let you down. If you’ve chosen to see me as more than just a weapon, and instead as an individual, a companion.. and perhaps even more than that.. Then it must be for good reason.”
Gods you wanted to hug him so bad , to hold him in your arms again, to reassure him that he’d already done enough.
But that wouldn’t be enough, you knew that. You’d managed to get him to at-least consider the idea he could be more than just a weapon. But to believe it completely he’d have to prove it to himself, your belief in him could aid him, but the rest would have to be all him.
But you would support him the whole time, you’d promised yourself that.
“Thank you, for seeing more than I ever could in myself. Thank you for making me feel cared for, wanted, like I could have purpose besides just my duty to protect Liyue.”
No, thank you.
“And.. I hope I can.. ah.. Make you feel at-least somewhat similar. I know I have a hard time expressing it but I do genuinely adore you. I.. I love you, and I’ll build up the courage to say it to you properly one day.”
He already had technically.
“.. When you’re looking at me directly, not just listening with your eyes closed.”
You’d wait till the- wait.
He knew.
You could hear the floor creak slightly, your eyes shot open.
An inky black mist started to envelop him, telling you’d he’d be gone in an instant.
If you didn’t hurry that is.
Before he disappeared you suddenly found an incredible amount of speed and energy and jumped out of the bed.
However in exchange for rapidity you lost your carefulness, slipping forward collapsing towards his arms.
His eyes widened in surprise, you saw that he only barely managed to turn his body towards you.
Then you shut your eyes.
Your body felt as if it was dangling on thin air, as if the floor under you was gone.
This only lasted for about a second though.
You heard a swift and loud thud, two things had made contact with each other.
Neither of them being you, though you did feel yourself make impact with something soft and sturdy. This was accompanied by the loud sound of leaves shaking and loud chirping and you finally felt what seemed to be a rough surface under you.
You felt something else too actually.
You hesitantly opened your eyes, groaning slightly. Around you were clumps of orangey leaves, branches, and birds scattering. Glancing down you caught sight of a green roof, multiple of them actually. You were definitely high up.
Didn’t take much critical thinking to deduce you were at the top of Wangshu inn right now, however what you did fail to notice were the gloved hands on your shoulders.
As well as the fact your head was resting against somebody’s chest.
You pulled your head away to see Xiao leaned up against a large tree branch, he’d acted as a cushion, taking the brunt of the tumble.
You must’ve caused him to lose balance, and accompanied by the surprise it probably had messed with the usual smooth ‘landing’.
“Xiao! I’m so sorry, are you okay?”
Your legs had been intertwined with his, you used your arms to carefully pull yourself up and off of him.
Well, somewhat anyways. You could only move so much so you were still practically pressed up against each other, your legs were over his and by his waist.
“I’m fine, are you? You didn’t get hurt did you?”
He looked at you with concerned eyes, seemingly scanning you for any possible injuries.
You sighed, putting your head on his shoulder.“Not only did I land on top of you but you also smacked against that thick tree branch, and you’re still asking if I’m okay??”
“Of course, I’ll be fine regardless but you could’ve gotten hurt, why did you even do that??”
“I didn’t want you to leave! You can’t just.. say something like that then leave.. I thought you thought I was asleep!”
He chuckled.
“Of course I knew, you didn’t exactly make it hard to tell.”
You could feel your face heat up.
“Then you should’ve said something..”
“Like how you definitely did?”
Well he had a point but..
“Oh so now you understand sarcasm hm? Well either way, if you knew you should’ve said something.. I was pretending to be asleep for no reason.”
“I hadn’t realised immediately , also I just.. couldn’t.”
“Why? Ohh .”
“What?”
“You wouldn’t have been able to say all that if I had my eyes open huh? If I was ‘looking at you directly’, not just, ‘listening with my eyes closed’?”
He tensed up at your reference to his earlier words. You pulled your head off his shoulder, smiling coyly as you tried to discern his expression.
If he would let you that is, he had turned his head away from you.
Well either way, the faint blush you saw on his ears told you enough.
“Hm? Not talking anymo-
Before you could finish Xiao embraced you tightly, his head burying itself into the crook of your neck and his arms wrapping around you.
You gasped a little, surprised by the sudden contact you placed your hand on the branch Xiao rested against, your other arm slowly wrapped around his waist. You leaned your head slightly against his.
And for a moment there was a small comfortable silence, reminiscent of similar moments you’d had on the balcony a couple of meters below you. It was so nice, the warmth enveloping both of you, the quiet sighs, Xiao’s breath on your neck, the light wind breeze.
Still, you couldn’t stay like this the entire time no matter how much you wanted to. Your mind wandered back to what he’d said moments ago back in your room.
“You do make me feel the same way.”
His head perked up slightly.
“What?”
“You said you hoped I felt a similar way to how I made you felt right?”
He was silent for a moment, possibly still embarrassed, then he nodded.
“..Yes.”
“Well you don’t have to hope- oh, actually maybe..”
He quickly pulled away to look at you, with furrowed brows and eyes filled with what you could discern as worry and maybe even a little bit of disappointment.
You swore your heart broke a little at that expression, immediately feeling guilty you quickly spoke again.
“You make me feel so amazing, or no.. that isn’t right. It’s not a way I can accurately describe with words.. I don’t think any words are good enough to describe it. That’s why I’m not sure if how I make you feel can even compare with how you make me feel.”
You felt more and more giddy as more and more cheesier words left your mouth. You probably had a stupidly smug grin right now.
Xiao’s expression immediately changed, going from that saddening look to one of surprise, then one of embarrassment and a tinge of annoyance.
His brows knitted together as he let out a heavy sigh.
“That… you…”
He took a moment to find his words as you chuckled.
“..Through my thousands of years I’ve faintly heard of many poets ‘declarations of love’ and honestly your grandiose words are starting to rival theirs. You’re so ridiculous..”
He buried his head into the crook of your neck again. You hummed.
“Buttt…”
Xiao sighed.
“But you’re wrong.”
You blink a bit, surprised by the unexpected and blunt response.
“... I’d say.. that it’s the other way around..”
Such simple words made you fold so easily, you found yourself hiding your face as well.
“...And here I thought I was the cheesy one.. but guess it’s both of us then hm?”
“…I suppose.”
You squeezed your arms around him gently, just happy to feel the contact, yet greedy for more at the same time. A soft whisper left your mouth.
“ Xiao, I love you too. ”
He jolted a bit in your arms, your words sending shivers down his spine.
“..Sorry for saying that so suddenly, I just.. didn’t get to say it back earlier.“
Before you could continue speaking you were interrupted by an unintelligible mumble of words from Xiao. Despite the heat in your face still being very much present you pulled away slightly, looking to Xiao. His gaze didn’t meet yours, his eyes averting to everything but you.
“What was that?”
“..again..”
“Could you say that a bit louder?”
“I said- ..To please, say that again?”
“ Say what again? ”
“...That you love me.”
You pursed your lips, a bit embarrassed at his request.
“If you say it first I will.”
“But I already-“
“ Again , it’s only fair that we both say it the same amount of times right?”
He went silent for a moment, and just as you were about to speak again he pulled you closer. Whispering something to you.
“..That time earlier wasn’t the first time. I’ve already said it to you before.”
What?
“You call me to your side in your sleep much more often than you think you do. I think.. sometimes you do it even when you’re not having a nightmare.
How many times before had you done that? You thought you always woke up when he came.. His statement seemed to say otherwise though. You weren’t thrilled to be honest, mortified actually. What if you’d said other things in your sleep? What if you’d been drooling? Or making a silly face? You shook your head, pushing the thoughts away. A moment ago he’d been the embarrassed one, you couldn’t let him reverse the roles so easily.
“.. That doesn’t count, I wasn’t awake those times.”
“You never specified that, you only said that it’d be fair if we both said it the equal amount of times.”
“..Well that was before I knew you’d said it before. And either way, since you’ve said it before, and seemingly more than once too , it should be easy right?”
“…”
“ Hm? Am I wron-“
“..I love you.”
The sudden declaration had taken you aback, and the fact he’d just raised his head and said it to you while looking directly into your eyes didn’t help either.
That is till you immediately broke the eye contact by ducking your head away, looking down at the roofs again. You chuckled nervously as if you hadn’t practically just choked on air.
“That-.. uh… You did it, you managed to tell me while looking at me directly!”
“.. I did.”
He said it in a way that made him seem somewhat proud of himself, it was so cute .
Xiao’s hand carefully reached for the nape of your neck, tilting your head slightly towards him.
You hesitantly shifted your gaze to meet his, his bright cat like eyes looked to you with this certain softness.
A simple gaze, and yet it affected you so much.
There was something else, a look of.. expectancy.
Oh , right. His earlier request..
You pursed your lips, gently pressing your forehead against his.
“I love you Xiao.”
You hadn’t had the courage to say it while meeting his eyes, your gaze had instead been on the gentle smile he had, he didn’t seem to mind though.
He didn’t say anything but guessing by the expression on his face he was more then content, well for a little while anyway.
Suddenly a certain thought seemed to cross his mind, his mouth opened to speak yet he said nothing.
“What is it?”
“…Could I ask another thing of you..?”
“ Mmm another request ?”
“..Ah, sorry I-“
“..Nono, It’s okay, you can ask me anything. I don’t mind Xiao.”
“You really don’t have to do what I ask though.”
“How about you tell me what it is you want first? I might just want to do it, even if I don’t have to.”
He went quiet for a moment, a faint warm tint spreading even more throughout his face.
While looking at his face you’d also taken note of the many faint beauty marks and freckles that littered his tanned skin, how pretty . You almost wanted to start counting them, you’d tried before but you could never could without him eventually noticing and you simply just loosing count.
The hand on the back of your neck slowly moved to cradle your cheek instead.
“Could.. could we do it again?”
You were confused for a moment, unsure of what he meant. That is till his thumb lightly brushed against your lips.
Oh .
“..You’re silly, you don’t need to worry about asking me that. Of course.”
And with that it only took a couple of moments for your lips to press against his, it was a nice sensation, a soft one.
Shaky breaths left both of you when you’d pulled away, your eyes fixed on each other.
“…Again, could yo-“
He didn’t need to say another word, the way he looked at you told you enough. Cutting him off with another kiss got a tiny sound of surprise from him, it was adorable to you .
He quickly eased up, leaning even closer to you as his hands shakily held onto you. One of them on your shoulder, the other on your cheek near your ear with his fingers gently running through your hair.
Time felt so slow, like everything else was frozen but the two of you.
You definitely weren’t going to get any rest tonight, but you were more than happy to exchange sleep with this .
It was more than worth it.