Work Text:
“Here we are at Seaworld, ＭＥＲＵＥＭ－ＫＵＮ,” Shaiapouf said so thoughtfully, so empathetically. Meruem was mad. His breasts were sore because he was ragging it hardcore. Shaiapouf was very excited to be at Seaworld. He jumped up and down and clapped at every fish tank and screamed and laughed on every ride.
“Boy, does ＳＨＡＩＡＰＯＵＦ－ＣＨＡＮ love the Disneyworld of fish.” Meruem was DISGUSTED. He hates fish.
Shaiapouf turned to him, making little gill movements with his hands on his jaw and said, “What’s wrong, ＭＥＲＵＥＭ－ＫＵＮ?” And Meruem said “Shaiapouf you inconsiderate microwaved piece of soap. You know I hate fish more than I hate myself, even. Please, let’s go.”
Shaiapouf got sad. He said, “But ＭＥＲＵＥＭ－ＫＵＮ, I won free tickets to Seaworld and knew I should take you! It was just bound for us. It was a couple’s ticket, anyway. We’re on a date, ＭＥＲＵＥＭ－ＫＵＮ! Besides, look! The fish love you.”
ＭＥＲＵＥＭ－ＫＵＮ turned to see all the fish in the tanks gathered, looking at him. He felt his ahoge twitch. “No, no… This… This is impossible… this can’t be… this… IS THE WRONG ANIME 何これ WHY IS THIS HAPPENING どうして I’M NOT A FUCKING FISH, DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!” He pulled his pants up and ran screaming, using his fins as air paddles to propel himself forward. Shaiapouf laughed and chased after him with arms wide open. It was a peaceful day.